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The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs
"A family saga, a revenge fantasy, a Twilight Zone-esque parable, and, most importantly, a very fun read." Entertainment Weekly
This story of two men locked in a war of wills that threatens their very existence is vintage Irvine Welsh. Troubled restaurant inspector Danny Skinner is on a quest to find the mysterious father his mother will not identify. Unraveling this hidden information is the key to understanding the crippling compulsions that threaten to wreck his young life. His ensuing journey takes him from the festival city of Edinburgh to the foodie city of San Francisco. But the hard-drinking, womanizing Skinner has a strange nemesis in the form of mild-mannered fellow inspector Brian Kibby.
It is Skinner's unfathomable, obsessive hatred of Kibby that takes over everything, threatening to destroy not only Skinner and his mission but also those he loves most dearly. When Kibby contracts a horrific, undiagnosable illness, Skinner understands that his destiny is inextricably bound to that of his hated rival, and he is faced with a terrible dilemma.
Irvine Welsh's work is a transgressive parable about the great obsessions of our time: food, sex, and celebrity.
400 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2006
145 people are currently reading
4,394 people want to read
About the author
Irvine Welsh
171books7,274followersProbably most famous for his gritty depiction of a gang of Scottish Heroin addicts, Trainspotting (1993), Welsh focuses on the darker side of human nature and drug use. All of his novels are set in his native Scotland and filled with anti-heroes, small time crooks and hooligans. Welsh manages, however to imbue these characters with a sad humanity that makes them likable despite their obvious scumbaggerry. Irvine Welsh is also known for writing in his native Edinburgh Scots dialect, making his prose challenging for the average reader unfamiliar with this style.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 308 reviews
January 29, 2023
This is a bit of a dilemma. The truth is that this novel has far too many faults, but to be honest? I could not put it down.
We get a Dorian Grey style motif that is so ham fisted and at 430 pages far too long. I suspect that if this was a first draft manuscript from an unknown, a publisher would have either rejected it or at least said “yes great idea but let’s get the editor to work on it.� When you are Irvine Welsh whose previous 5 novels are bestsellers, would the publisher be game to say anything? I don’t know as I am not in the industry, others can tell me.
Typical of an Irvine novel, it is phenomenally sweary. The Scots at a working class level do swear a lot and to put it into print like this does not worry me so much, but at times it kind of seemed never ending. On the other hand, so what! Danny Skinner, the main protagonist, would say and did say as much in one scene. He was in San Francisco and was pulled up for using the C word and was mildly amused that they were all aghast at his language but seemingly had no issue with the ease of purchase of weaponry and the daily death that went with it.
Good-looking, literate, suave when he wanted to be, king of the kids Danny actually somehow puts a hex on a lad he takes an instant dislike for, computer game nerd and goofy Brian Kibby, and Danny can do what he likes with fighting, eating and drinking to excess and Brian suffers all the consequences to a body that is not made for the damage it receives via the hex. At one point Danny is raped at a drug fuelled orgy by another male and Brian suffers from a druggred and drunken hangover of giant proportions and also a bleeding bum. Brian’s life was permanent pain, breakdown and hangover, such was Danny’s debauched excess. That is until Danny realises he might be killing the goose that laid the golden egg as to his most enjoyable life of hedonism and that changes were needed.
But I just laughed out loud too often at some of the comedy, if that was what it was meant to be. There was a murder death scene that involved necrophilia that I found really amusing. Some of the characters are caricatures to the point of being so black and satirical that I enjoyed them for their sordid ways. There is a sex scene of grotesqueness that had me laughing and squirming all at the same time, but such was its pointlessness and uselessness to the entire plot I have no idea why it was even being in the tale told. Arrrggh the horror!
This is not that good a book; it is too long, at times haphazard as there were pointless events that could have been culled and some of the plot a bit obvious but…�..I just could not stop reading it. I don’t get that.
We get a Dorian Grey style motif that is so ham fisted and at 430 pages far too long. I suspect that if this was a first draft manuscript from an unknown, a publisher would have either rejected it or at least said “yes great idea but let’s get the editor to work on it.� When you are Irvine Welsh whose previous 5 novels are bestsellers, would the publisher be game to say anything? I don’t know as I am not in the industry, others can tell me.
Typical of an Irvine novel, it is phenomenally sweary. The Scots at a working class level do swear a lot and to put it into print like this does not worry me so much, but at times it kind of seemed never ending. On the other hand, so what! Danny Skinner, the main protagonist, would say and did say as much in one scene. He was in San Francisco and was pulled up for using the C word and was mildly amused that they were all aghast at his language but seemingly had no issue with the ease of purchase of weaponry and the daily death that went with it.
Good-looking, literate, suave when he wanted to be, king of the kids Danny actually somehow puts a hex on a lad he takes an instant dislike for, computer game nerd and goofy Brian Kibby, and Danny can do what he likes with fighting, eating and drinking to excess and Brian suffers all the consequences to a body that is not made for the damage it receives via the hex. At one point Danny is raped at a drug fuelled orgy by another male and Brian suffers from a druggred and drunken hangover of giant proportions and also a bleeding bum. Brian’s life was permanent pain, breakdown and hangover, such was Danny’s debauched excess. That is until Danny realises he might be killing the goose that laid the golden egg as to his most enjoyable life of hedonism and that changes were needed.
But I just laughed out loud too often at some of the comedy, if that was what it was meant to be. There was a murder death scene that involved necrophilia that I found really amusing. Some of the characters are caricatures to the point of being so black and satirical that I enjoyed them for their sordid ways. There is a sex scene of grotesqueness that had me laughing and squirming all at the same time, but such was its pointlessness and uselessness to the entire plot I have no idea why it was even being in the tale told. Arrrggh the horror!
This is not that good a book; it is too long, at times haphazard as there were pointless events that could have been culled and some of the plot a bit obvious but…�..I just could not stop reading it. I don’t get that.
September 5, 2017
The male psyche is a complex thing. In the never-ending battle to become the alpha, men beat their chests in an attempt to not only establish dominance over their brothers, but to commit the most humiliating act possible - embarrass them in front of the burds. In this way, rivalries are created and nurtured, and Welsh shows us in Bedroom Secrets how poisonous this rivalry can truly be.
Danny Skinner is a pretty standard Welsh character, with flashes of Bruce Robertson and Sick Boy peeping through the cracks. Through booze benders, and his love of being a part-time football casual, we begin to understand his motivations.
When mummy’s boy Brian Kibby arrives for his first day in Skinner’s work, something malicious takes root in Skinner’s mind - a hatred for which he can’t locate the source. Kibby is a hillwalker, a train-set collector, and a total geek. He struggles talking to women, his shyness holds him back in the office. There is nothing about Kibby for Skinner to feel threatened by, yet this unfathomable hatred takes root, and Skinner unknowingly casts a curse upon him which will link them inexplicably in the future.
Welsh uses these two men to show us the horrors of this type of hatred, the similarities between them which we hadn’t quite clicked on to initially, and explores the differences in family situations. One man has grown up a product of a single parent family, and the other in a much-coveted standard mum, dad, and kids outfit. But, do either of these upbringings have any sort of effect on their moral compass? Or are you just your da’s bairn?
None of the characters here have anything redeeming about them, and that is one of Welsh’s skills. Everyone here has their skin peeled back for us to see the maggots underneath, and I love it.
I also particularly enjoyed Skinner’s jaunt to America, where I saw him become a better person. Is there something about living here amongst the grey, dreich, depressing buildings, the closed off, miserable people, and the complete lack of vitamin D, that drives us all to drink? Doesn’t take a genius.
Although I’ll admit there are far better Welsh novels, this is still a wee underrated gem. You’ve got your flawed characters, you’ve got a good bit of violence, and you’ve got the booze. Fucking party.
Danny Skinner is a pretty standard Welsh character, with flashes of Bruce Robertson and Sick Boy peeping through the cracks. Through booze benders, and his love of being a part-time football casual, we begin to understand his motivations.
When mummy’s boy Brian Kibby arrives for his first day in Skinner’s work, something malicious takes root in Skinner’s mind - a hatred for which he can’t locate the source. Kibby is a hillwalker, a train-set collector, and a total geek. He struggles talking to women, his shyness holds him back in the office. There is nothing about Kibby for Skinner to feel threatened by, yet this unfathomable hatred takes root, and Skinner unknowingly casts a curse upon him which will link them inexplicably in the future.
Welsh uses these two men to show us the horrors of this type of hatred, the similarities between them which we hadn’t quite clicked on to initially, and explores the differences in family situations. One man has grown up a product of a single parent family, and the other in a much-coveted standard mum, dad, and kids outfit. But, do either of these upbringings have any sort of effect on their moral compass? Or are you just your da’s bairn?
None of the characters here have anything redeeming about them, and that is one of Welsh’s skills. Everyone here has their skin peeled back for us to see the maggots underneath, and I love it.
I also particularly enjoyed Skinner’s jaunt to America, where I saw him become a better person. Is there something about living here amongst the grey, dreich, depressing buildings, the closed off, miserable people, and the complete lack of vitamin D, that drives us all to drink? Doesn’t take a genius.
Although I’ll admit there are far better Welsh novels, this is still a wee underrated gem. You’ve got your flawed characters, you’ve got a good bit of violence, and you’ve got the booze. Fucking party.
May 16, 2007
Contrary to the old cliche', I won't say Irving Welsh has "done it again." Rather, he has gone well beyond his standard excellent story-telling and character draughtsmanship.
In The Bedroom Securets... Welsh spins a yarn so outlandish and raucous that the laughter one expects flows early and often; yet, before one expects it, the turn of events spirals into a deadly grudge match between two odious people so unsympathetic in Welsh's portrayal, it would take a masterful writer to inculcate empathy or urgency to follow their rivalry to the last page. Welsh proves that masterful, and getting up to walk in the aftermath of this novel leaves the reader weak and dizzy. But it also inspires admiration.
What really catapults this novel above anything he has written since Marabou Stork Nightmares is not the obvious -- his tendency to capture dialect, to concoct improbable and gut busting twists of plot. Instead, Welsh joins the ranks of Henry Miller and Charles Bukowski by exposing us to the world outside our doors, unfiltered, wondrous and strange. By clearing more panes in the Doors of Perception, Welsh demonstrates quite ably why sheer charisma, restraint, virtue, or intelligence can not suffice to make a person good or achieve transcendence. For Daniel Skinner and Brian Kibby, Welsh's protagonists, this lesson comes at the expense of cherished notions and trite comforts; for the reader, the lesson proves a squirmy and unsettling one indeed.
In The Bedroom Securets... Welsh spins a yarn so outlandish and raucous that the laughter one expects flows early and often; yet, before one expects it, the turn of events spirals into a deadly grudge match between two odious people so unsympathetic in Welsh's portrayal, it would take a masterful writer to inculcate empathy or urgency to follow their rivalry to the last page. Welsh proves that masterful, and getting up to walk in the aftermath of this novel leaves the reader weak and dizzy. But it also inspires admiration.
What really catapults this novel above anything he has written since Marabou Stork Nightmares is not the obvious -- his tendency to capture dialect, to concoct improbable and gut busting twists of plot. Instead, Welsh joins the ranks of Henry Miller and Charles Bukowski by exposing us to the world outside our doors, unfiltered, wondrous and strange. By clearing more panes in the Doors of Perception, Welsh demonstrates quite ably why sheer charisma, restraint, virtue, or intelligence can not suffice to make a person good or achieve transcendence. For Daniel Skinner and Brian Kibby, Welsh's protagonists, this lesson comes at the expense of cherished notions and trite comforts; for the reader, the lesson proves a squirmy and unsettling one indeed.
August 17, 2011
I'm a huge fan of Irvine Welsh at his creative best. , and are funny, clever and brimming with originality. , on the other hand, is an uninspired story devoid of Welsh's trademark witty dialogue.
July 9, 2010
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First things first, in the interest of disclosure I must inform any one who happens to read this that I love the novels of Irvine Welsh. I’ve read just about everything the man has ever written from his 1993 debut “Trainspotting� forward and very rarely has he disappointed me.
That said, even if you hate Irvine Welsh, the one point you can’t argue is that man knows how to write. The main stumbling block most readers encounter when picking up his work is that he tends to write the bulk of his characters� conversations in Scottish dialect, but once you break through this hurdle his storytelling is top notch. In “Bedroom Secrets� this road block is removed for the most part, but nothing else is sacrificed in the process.
If you’ve never read an Irvine Welsh novel before this one is great place to start. It’s a little tamer then most of his other work so it gives you a chance to ease yourself into his twisted brain and his methods of storytelling.
Personally I picked this one up not knowing anything about it going in. For some reason its existence totally escaped me. That said, for the most part plot wise it kept me guessing until close to the very end. All of the characters felt very well fleshed out and the chefs…well the chefs were all very, ah, I’ll go with “unique� if not flat out disturbing at times.
Welsh uses this work to tackle two topics that I found entertaining and interesting. The first is the relationship between male rivals. With this he digs in deep and the inner monologue of both of the main characters feels genuine. Welsh breaks down the male psyche and does an excellent job explaining what makes us create these rivalries, what makes us keep at them, and what causes us to need the other person so desperately in order to validate our own existence. I found myself spending the bulk of my time laughing and nodding my head “yes, yes, yes� while reading.
The other thing he questions here is nature vs. nurture. Will a child who grows up having never met his dad grow up to be just like his old man? How much do the early moments in our development shape who we’ll become later in life? Welsh does a good job exploring both of these questions through the stories main characters.
The only place where the novel loses points is in its very brief attempt to compare the plight of the main characters with George Bush and the Iraq war. Thankfully Welsh only spends one brief paragraph on this idea and then quickly moves along. It’s not that he’s necessarily wrong; it’s just a tough sell within the framework of this tale.
Overall a highly entertaining read and one that felt considerably lighter in tone then the rest of Welsh’s body of work, but equally as great.
First things first, in the interest of disclosure I must inform any one who happens to read this that I love the novels of Irvine Welsh. I’ve read just about everything the man has ever written from his 1993 debut “Trainspotting� forward and very rarely has he disappointed me.
That said, even if you hate Irvine Welsh, the one point you can’t argue is that man knows how to write. The main stumbling block most readers encounter when picking up his work is that he tends to write the bulk of his characters� conversations in Scottish dialect, but once you break through this hurdle his storytelling is top notch. In “Bedroom Secrets� this road block is removed for the most part, but nothing else is sacrificed in the process.
If you’ve never read an Irvine Welsh novel before this one is great place to start. It’s a little tamer then most of his other work so it gives you a chance to ease yourself into his twisted brain and his methods of storytelling.
Personally I picked this one up not knowing anything about it going in. For some reason its existence totally escaped me. That said, for the most part plot wise it kept me guessing until close to the very end. All of the characters felt very well fleshed out and the chefs…well the chefs were all very, ah, I’ll go with “unique� if not flat out disturbing at times.
Welsh uses this work to tackle two topics that I found entertaining and interesting. The first is the relationship between male rivals. With this he digs in deep and the inner monologue of both of the main characters feels genuine. Welsh breaks down the male psyche and does an excellent job explaining what makes us create these rivalries, what makes us keep at them, and what causes us to need the other person so desperately in order to validate our own existence. I found myself spending the bulk of my time laughing and nodding my head “yes, yes, yes� while reading.
The other thing he questions here is nature vs. nurture. Will a child who grows up having never met his dad grow up to be just like his old man? How much do the early moments in our development shape who we’ll become later in life? Welsh does a good job exploring both of these questions through the stories main characters.
The only place where the novel loses points is in its very brief attempt to compare the plight of the main characters with George Bush and the Iraq war. Thankfully Welsh only spends one brief paragraph on this idea and then quickly moves along. It’s not that he’s necessarily wrong; it’s just a tough sell within the framework of this tale.
Overall a highly entertaining read and one that felt considerably lighter in tone then the rest of Welsh’s body of work, but equally as great.
August 7, 2017
Another great book from Welsh. It took me a while to get into it, but when I realized what he was doing, I was hooked. At first I figured Danny Skinner for your average Welsh jerk, but by the end he was maybe one of my favorite characters from Welsh's work. I love the Dorian Gray aspect of this story as Skinner pushes his excess as far as it can go. I kind of guessed who his dad was early on in the book, but the journey to get there was a lot of fun. I can't recommend this book enough.
April 24, 2014
I love Irvine Welsh and consider him to be a sort of poet-bard for a certain broken section of society. He has a great ear and feel for dialogue. His characters are often horribly flawed, but the reader can still relate to them, sort of like that friend you no doubt have who is a bit of an asshole. You all have at least one. If you don't, then you are probably the asshole.
I don't want to get in to the scenario too much for fear of spoilers. I knock down the book a star for a few issues, such as not getting to the actual dynamic plot for nearly a hundred pages into the book. Still, I enjoyed the book and its characterizations, even when watching the characters bring about their own self-destruction.
I don't want to get in to the scenario too much for fear of spoilers. I knock down the book a star for a few issues, such as not getting to the actual dynamic plot for nearly a hundred pages into the book. Still, I enjoyed the book and its characterizations, even when watching the characters bring about their own self-destruction.
April 2, 2018
Dorian Grey on alcohol and drugs. love the story, but could be a bit shorter. personal highlights certainly the old witch, the piano and the drinking escapades
January 28, 2018
Anarchic, well-observed, and at times, absolutely disgusting!
This has got everything you could possibly want from an Irvine Welsh novel!
This has got everything you could possibly want from an Irvine Welsh novel!
October 28, 2015
Welsh is back on fine form here, and while he has written better (Marabou Stork Nightmares might well be an undiscovered modern classic), this still makes for a fantastic read. And, like most of Welsh’s work, it’s difficult to stop reading it, once the story has absorbed you � in fact, I read this as part of my 24-Hour Dyslexia Action charity readathon, and reading it from cover to cover in one sitting wasn’t a problem. It’s just the kind of story that does that to you.
Loosely speaking, it follows the story of a typical Irvine Welsh character called Danny Skinner, a “hard-drinking, womanising officer� at Edinburgh’s Department of Environmental Health. When the department is joined by a calm, mild-mannered model railway enthusiast called Brian Kibby, Skinner finds himself getting agitated, treating Kibby as a nemesis even though he hasn’t really done anything except for being a living representation of everything that Skinner hates.
Then, and with a sprinkling of style, something strange begins to happen � the two seem to share a strange link, and Kibby starts to suffer from bad hangovers and comedowns despite never touching a drop of the stuff, while Skinner can hit the town with no ill effects the morning after. It’s almost like black slapstick, like black humour � humour about dark subjects like death and mental illness, as opposed to humour by, for and about black people. I’m not a racist, I promise.
And, as usual, Welsh writes in his traditional style, which includes plenty of Scots dialect, plenty of drinking, drug use and debauchery, and his use of profanities and an indented hyphen to signify dialogue. � Kinda like this ya radge c**t.
This can occasionally make it difficult to follow the story, and your brain can start processing narrative as dialogue and vice versa � that said, Welsh’s writing tends to flow from one paragraph to another, and so the odds are that if you have to concentrate to understand something, it’s probably intentional.
And that’s one of the things with Welsh’s writing � it grows on you, and you can re-read his stories and see subtle undertones that weren’t there on your first read. I’ve only read this novel once, and so I’m probably not the fairest of judges, but I have a feeling that that’s the case here, too. Perhaps I’ll re-read it myself at some point, but I need to finish the rest of Welsh’s books first. So the real question is, fancy a race?
Loosely speaking, it follows the story of a typical Irvine Welsh character called Danny Skinner, a “hard-drinking, womanising officer� at Edinburgh’s Department of Environmental Health. When the department is joined by a calm, mild-mannered model railway enthusiast called Brian Kibby, Skinner finds himself getting agitated, treating Kibby as a nemesis even though he hasn’t really done anything except for being a living representation of everything that Skinner hates.
Then, and with a sprinkling of style, something strange begins to happen � the two seem to share a strange link, and Kibby starts to suffer from bad hangovers and comedowns despite never touching a drop of the stuff, while Skinner can hit the town with no ill effects the morning after. It’s almost like black slapstick, like black humour � humour about dark subjects like death and mental illness, as opposed to humour by, for and about black people. I’m not a racist, I promise.
And, as usual, Welsh writes in his traditional style, which includes plenty of Scots dialect, plenty of drinking, drug use and debauchery, and his use of profanities and an indented hyphen to signify dialogue. � Kinda like this ya radge c**t.
This can occasionally make it difficult to follow the story, and your brain can start processing narrative as dialogue and vice versa � that said, Welsh’s writing tends to flow from one paragraph to another, and so the odds are that if you have to concentrate to understand something, it’s probably intentional.
And that’s one of the things with Welsh’s writing � it grows on you, and you can re-read his stories and see subtle undertones that weren’t there on your first read. I’ve only read this novel once, and so I’m probably not the fairest of judges, but I have a feeling that that’s the case here, too. Perhaps I’ll re-read it myself at some point, but I need to finish the rest of Welsh’s books first. So the real question is, fancy a race?
October 8, 2017
Wow. One of the best books that I have read in a long time! Took me until the 2nd part to get into it, but then I was hooked! What a crazy an addicting book. So many twists and turns that I didn't expect! Loved it.
April 7, 2008
YES! After reading a few crapfests recently (not by this author) I am happy to report Irvine Welsh rocks me yet again.
Whenever I read Welsh I can't help but adapt his words to film in my mind. He writes really lush characters and settings that ordinarily aren't extraordinary - but he makes them so.
Whenever I read Welsh I can't help but adapt his words to film in my mind. He writes really lush characters and settings that ordinarily aren't extraordinary - but he makes them so.
February 22, 2022
Se quando avevo vent'anni o poco più Irvine Welsh mi divertiva, adesso che ne ho più del doppio, i soliti racconti di sbronze, risse, droghe riescono solo ad annoiarmi e tutta questa violenza e cattiveria gratuite non fanno altro che infastidirmi.
Sì, sono invecchiato malissimo.
Sì, sono invecchiato malissimo.
January 11, 2010
A brilliantly entertaining read. Welsh, the author of "Trainspotting," who was raised in a Scottish housing project, waxes poignantly and believably on life in Edinburgh as seen through the eyes of several mid to late twentysomethings, most notably "Skinner," who is the protagonist.
Raised by a "punk-rock" mother, Skinner, (conceived in the blitzkreig of her wild and crazy youth) is on a quest to locate his father, whom is evidenced to still be living, but could be any one of several different people. Nonchalantly successful at winning the adoration of women, he lives a broodish lifetyle of pub lurking and socializing with his mates.
The main event of the book takes place after he is refused by his fiancee, due to his excessively indulgent drinking habits. Bereft, and seething, he decides that me must go to San Francisco in order to meet a fellow living there whom his Mum claims may be his Dad. While there, he attempts to reform his alcoholism, and falls in love with a girl that he meets at an AA meeting.
Once back in Edinburgh, he accidentally and quite suddenly finds himself falling for yet another girl. This time she is the sister of a self-righteous reject, who has lately succumbed to a debilitating illness. This fellow, Kibby, is suspicious and jealous of Skinner's intentions. Have no sexual or social prowess of his own, he eagerly self-deprecates, all the while subtly plotting a way to get vengeance.
After Skinner is accepted graciously into the familial fold of his new love, it occurs to him that his true love is the woman that he met back in the states. As his new girlfriend grows increasingly needy and desperate in his eyes, he finds her less and less sexy. Ultimately he resigns that he shall return to the states and commence a romantic co-habitation with his former flame from AA.
I wont betray the ending, but it is not a happy one. The strongest aspects of the story is it's raw and unembellished portrayal of the characters, and their city. A very contemporary glimpse into the darker urban underbelly this world region.
Raised by a "punk-rock" mother, Skinner, (conceived in the blitzkreig of her wild and crazy youth) is on a quest to locate his father, whom is evidenced to still be living, but could be any one of several different people. Nonchalantly successful at winning the adoration of women, he lives a broodish lifetyle of pub lurking and socializing with his mates.
The main event of the book takes place after he is refused by his fiancee, due to his excessively indulgent drinking habits. Bereft, and seething, he decides that me must go to San Francisco in order to meet a fellow living there whom his Mum claims may be his Dad. While there, he attempts to reform his alcoholism, and falls in love with a girl that he meets at an AA meeting.
Once back in Edinburgh, he accidentally and quite suddenly finds himself falling for yet another girl. This time she is the sister of a self-righteous reject, who has lately succumbed to a debilitating illness. This fellow, Kibby, is suspicious and jealous of Skinner's intentions. Have no sexual or social prowess of his own, he eagerly self-deprecates, all the while subtly plotting a way to get vengeance.
After Skinner is accepted graciously into the familial fold of his new love, it occurs to him that his true love is the woman that he met back in the states. As his new girlfriend grows increasingly needy and desperate in his eyes, he finds her less and less sexy. Ultimately he resigns that he shall return to the states and commence a romantic co-habitation with his former flame from AA.
I wont betray the ending, but it is not a happy one. The strongest aspects of the story is it's raw and unembellished portrayal of the characters, and their city. A very contemporary glimpse into the darker urban underbelly this world region.
January 4, 2013
The only reason I'm not giving it 5 stars is that I'll probably never re-read it again. It's not as awful and depressing as I thought it would be before reading it. The comedy of it was a great delight, even though it was awful at the same time as being funny. I've seen TRAINSPOTTING the movie, and from that I know I never want to read the book version of it. My mum tells me the book version is even more horrible than the movie, too, so that just puts the final nail in the coffin. Anyway, I read this book and absolutely loved the humour, the Scottish language and the twisting turns of the plot. The way it ended still makes me laugh even though it was so tragic. I do wonder though where those who survived will go from here.
The first moment when I actually burst out into uncontrollable laughter was the day of Brian Kibby's presentation at work, when he was feeling the first seriously bad effects of Skinner's curse on him, and how he spewed up the bacon & eggs his mum had made him. I know that doesn't sound like a particularly funny moment, but the whole thing was just so absurd that it got me laughing. Prior to that, I had already been amused in a cringing sort of way by Brian's utter nerdiness, especially as it contrasted with Skinner's roguishness. Another of my favourite moments was when Brian finally got to the point where he stopped taking shit & started fighting back. I loved his transformation from timid little "arselicker" to what he became, even though I probably should see that transformation as all part of the tragedy.
I admit that for a lot of the book I hoped justice would find Skinner, and I guess it certainly did. But in the end I was hoping outright disaster would be averted. I should have known better, I guess. ;)
All in all, this was a bleakly entertaining read, but I think the entertaining part won out in the end. Still not sure I will ever read another Irvine Welsh book though.
The first moment when I actually burst out into uncontrollable laughter was the day of Brian Kibby's presentation at work, when he was feeling the first seriously bad effects of Skinner's curse on him, and how he spewed up the bacon & eggs his mum had made him. I know that doesn't sound like a particularly funny moment, but the whole thing was just so absurd that it got me laughing. Prior to that, I had already been amused in a cringing sort of way by Brian's utter nerdiness, especially as it contrasted with Skinner's roguishness. Another of my favourite moments was when Brian finally got to the point where he stopped taking shit & started fighting back. I loved his transformation from timid little "arselicker" to what he became, even though I probably should see that transformation as all part of the tragedy.
I admit that for a lot of the book I hoped justice would find Skinner, and I guess it certainly did. But in the end I was hoping outright disaster would be averted. I should have known better, I guess. ;)
All in all, this was a bleakly entertaining read, but I think the entertaining part won out in the end. Still not sure I will ever read another Irvine Welsh book though.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 22, 2015
First off, this is NOT about the sex lives of chefs, which I was very glad to discover. To me, the title actually made me not want to read this book, tho I know the whole reason this book has this title is to draw readers in. Are there chefs in this book? Is there sex in this book? Yes, to both. But, no, it is not "about" the bedroom secrets of master chefs. And chefs aren't the main characters.
Now that that is out of the way... what this book really is is an allegory. It's about alcoholism, abuse, self-abuse, family, and lies. It's also about repression and over-indulgence. As is the case with many of Welshy's books since the aughts, it's pretty much an epic as it spans a great deal of activity (and some time) and fills a good number of pages. How much heavy lifting is needed is probably relative to the reader.
I guess I'm making that statement because I do think it could have been shorter. But I am also aware I say that about a ton of books, so it could just be my own predilection.
And it's conflicting, because I still enjoyed this book through and through. There was a really odd, somewhat unnerving Kafka-like idea behind this book in the way it presented its allegory--a violent, angry, self-defeating, depressed action to the characters' motives that was really intriguing and engaging. And it was a bit mystical, allowing a bit of fantasy into the reality of this story.
I dug that a lot.
Good read. I realize, too, that I judge these books against his others, so if this story came from someone else (and, really, how could it?) I might be doing more cartwheels over it. But when you have MARABOU STORK NIGHTMARE, FILTH, and TRAINSPOTTING already, it can make the other books seem a bit pale in comparison.
How fair is that? Life ain't fair.
SAME RULES APPLY!
Now that that is out of the way... what this book really is is an allegory. It's about alcoholism, abuse, self-abuse, family, and lies. It's also about repression and over-indulgence. As is the case with many of Welshy's books since the aughts, it's pretty much an epic as it spans a great deal of activity (and some time) and fills a good number of pages. How much heavy lifting is needed is probably relative to the reader.
I guess I'm making that statement because I do think it could have been shorter. But I am also aware I say that about a ton of books, so it could just be my own predilection.
And it's conflicting, because I still enjoyed this book through and through. There was a really odd, somewhat unnerving Kafka-like idea behind this book in the way it presented its allegory--a violent, angry, self-defeating, depressed action to the characters' motives that was really intriguing and engaging. And it was a bit mystical, allowing a bit of fantasy into the reality of this story.
I dug that a lot.
Good read. I realize, too, that I judge these books against his others, so if this story came from someone else (and, really, how could it?) I might be doing more cartwheels over it. But when you have MARABOU STORK NIGHTMARE, FILTH, and TRAINSPOTTING already, it can make the other books seem a bit pale in comparison.
How fair is that? Life ain't fair.
SAME RULES APPLY!
March 19, 2018
20 days and 438 pages after. The second book I've been slowest reading in a while. But other two books were read meanwhile.
This is the fourth book of Welsh, and I love them for equal. The beginning is slow, but when everything takes shape (in the medium) it becomes better. I don't blame the book, but is the first time I read something in Scottish. Which is harder than the American.
We have Danny Skinner a normal jerk that works for the council of Edinburgh, he has some deep demons within. In the other side we have Brian Kibby the Virgin and shy guy. Both will be part of a war of egos and a mysterious "curse".
I really liked it, but was too tired for me, in a half hour I only could read 10 pages, so in this weekend my purpose was finish it. I love Welsh, the panorama he makes, the characters, the situations, everything. I've only wish it could be more direct in some things.
The book have a big metaphor, the two sides of living, the fun and selfles live or the shy and cautious live.
The end, I fucking hated. Just happen the thing I didn't... maybe for this little issue don't got it the 5 stars. A little more "big" than should be, but is a nice book, recomend it to everyone who loves fiction.
There will be a formal review.
This is the fourth book of Welsh, and I love them for equal. The beginning is slow, but when everything takes shape (in the medium) it becomes better. I don't blame the book, but is the first time I read something in Scottish. Which is harder than the American.
We have Danny Skinner a normal jerk that works for the council of Edinburgh, he has some deep demons within. In the other side we have Brian Kibby the Virgin and shy guy. Both will be part of a war of egos and a mysterious "curse".
I really liked it, but was too tired for me, in a half hour I only could read 10 pages, so in this weekend my purpose was finish it. I love Welsh, the panorama he makes, the characters, the situations, everything. I've only wish it could be more direct in some things.
The book have a big metaphor, the two sides of living, the fun and selfles live or the shy and cautious live.
The end, I fucking hated. Just happen the thing I didn't... maybe for this little issue don't got it the 5 stars. A little more "big" than should be, but is a nice book, recomend it to everyone who loves fiction.
There will be a formal review.
March 20, 2020
This is my first time reading Irvine Welsh and Ill be sure to read more of his books in the future.
The title of the book has little to do with the plot, I was glad to discover when introduced to the protagonist Danny Skinner who has an irrational hatred for his coworker Brian Kibby.
I thought that while Danny rarely veers from his arrogance and malevolent thoughts throughout, we see glimpses of vulnerability through his interest in scandinavian poetry and love for (multiple) members of the opposite sex.
Male rivalries can be dangerous and destructive enough, but when the weight of hangovers and comedowns are by some paranormal force taken off Dannys shoulders, this gives him the greenlight to descend further into hedonistic madness. Of course somebody has to suffer the consequences and that somebody is the straight edge Brian who is crushed by this hex inflicted by his nemesis.
Colorful imagery, acerbic Scottish humour and the supernatural are all consistencies in the story and help to set up a memorable twist at the end.
The title of the book has little to do with the plot, I was glad to discover when introduced to the protagonist Danny Skinner who has an irrational hatred for his coworker Brian Kibby.
I thought that while Danny rarely veers from his arrogance and malevolent thoughts throughout, we see glimpses of vulnerability through his interest in scandinavian poetry and love for (multiple) members of the opposite sex.
Male rivalries can be dangerous and destructive enough, but when the weight of hangovers and comedowns are by some paranormal force taken off Dannys shoulders, this gives him the greenlight to descend further into hedonistic madness. Of course somebody has to suffer the consequences and that somebody is the straight edge Brian who is crushed by this hex inflicted by his nemesis.
Colorful imagery, acerbic Scottish humour and the supernatural are all consistencies in the story and help to set up a memorable twist at the end.
July 7, 2018
My first Irving Welsh novel. Brings up a lot to chew on if you're feeling that way inclined, but also easy and fun to read.
June 8, 2023
ja okee nie het beste boek maar wel weer gwn crack, had gwn echt een stuk korter gemoeten wel gwn leuk en compleet gestoord
September 29, 2008
With Ulysses done, I need to read something fast, entertaining, pulpy. Thanks, Irvine Welsh.
This brow-leaping habit may be genetic. My mom apparently read Salem's Lot (King) right after Anna Karenina (Tolstoy).
...
Finished. Enjoyable, but a bunch of issues make this a clumsier Welsh effort overall:
1. Guessed crux of climactic plot reveal in first 100 pages, and sort of knew how things would end.
2. There were likeable characters, but not so much the main protagonists/antagonists (okay, hardly unique for Welsh, but Glue was so human that I hope for more now.
3. Inconsistent perspective never justified in any reasonable way.
4. Felt need to spell out the theme not once but twice, where tangential evidence had already sufficed.
5. Dialect toned down in a manner that makes me suspect Welsh was shooting for wider readability. But I've always enjoyed the dialect.
This brow-leaping habit may be genetic. My mom apparently read Salem's Lot (King) right after Anna Karenina (Tolstoy).
...
Finished. Enjoyable, but a bunch of issues make this a clumsier Welsh effort overall:
1. Guessed crux of climactic plot reveal in first 100 pages, and sort of knew how things would end.
2. There were likeable characters, but not so much the main protagonists/antagonists (okay, hardly unique for Welsh, but Glue was so human that I hope for more now.
3. Inconsistent perspective never justified in any reasonable way.
4. Felt need to spell out the theme not once but twice, where tangential evidence had already sufficed.
5. Dialect toned down in a manner that makes me suspect Welsh was shooting for wider readability. But I've always enjoyed the dialect.
August 24, 2017
*Re-Read* I remember enjoying this book the first time and still enjoyed it second time round. It may not live up to the greatness of his best books or my personal favourites. But it is still a great Irvine Welsh book. This one has more fantasy elements than a lot of his work, more along the lines of some of the stories in 'The Acid House' still it makes for an interesting story and as I am leaving this without spoilers I will not say anything. The. Book made me laugh, some good gross out moments that Irvine Welsh can excel at, he writes a great disgusting sex scene. Part of me can see why some people do not rate this book as highly as some of his work and part of me can see that. But to me it is still 5Stars, he is one of my favourite authors and I enjoyed reading this again. If you are a fan it is at least worth a try. & if you are like me, more Irvine Welsh is never a bad thing.
March 22, 2012
Хмм, откъде да започна! Тази книга в първите си сто и нещо страници сякаш е трябвало да бъде нещо абстрахично друго, и после се е променила точно в онази посока, която прави авторите незабравимо уникални! Въпреки, че рано се досетих какво евентуално ще се окаже голямото действие, на моменти се разколебавах дали точно така ще стане, и накрая след хиляди различния, отклонения и невероятни факти се случиха точно нещата, които не трябваше да се случват. Доказателството за това колко нечестен, магичен, откачен, противен и мизерен е живота. Голяма книга.
May 13, 2017
Fucking relentless
July 10, 2020
More like 3.5 stars.
*MILD SPOILERS*
Straying away from his usual formula of Leith-bound junkies and sadistic criminality, Welsh brings us something a little different that works a little more than half the time. Danny Skinner is a alcoholic in his early-20s who artfully dodges his way through work and relationships. He is not a very nice person, a typical Welsh (I think of it as anti-Dickens, to place him in the British literary continuum) anti-hero whose success derives from his despicable nature. Versus Skinner is Brian Kibby, a nerdy, model-train aficionado. From the get-go, the two don't get on very well, especially when Skinner discovers that You'll likely figure out what's going on about halfway through the novel, but somehow its predictability doesn't affect its worth.
I'll leave it at that. There are moments of flaring genius. There is a running and too rare theme of the evils of the proxy or surrogate. The novel takes place during the war in Iraq and the idea of realizing your evils by using others is stark and clear, but Welsh doesn't give us enough of that. He always shines when he turns his shit-smeared lens onto our society and culture. Here he tends to focus more on the individuals, more so than in other novels, with mixed results. It's still a fun read and when it gets more twisted and surreal, the novel really thrives.
*MILD SPOILERS*
Straying away from his usual formula of Leith-bound junkies and sadistic criminality, Welsh brings us something a little different that works a little more than half the time. Danny Skinner is a alcoholic in his early-20s who artfully dodges his way through work and relationships. He is not a very nice person, a typical Welsh (I think of it as anti-Dickens, to place him in the British literary continuum) anti-hero whose success derives from his despicable nature. Versus Skinner is Brian Kibby, a nerdy, model-train aficionado. From the get-go, the two don't get on very well, especially when Skinner discovers that You'll likely figure out what's going on about halfway through the novel, but somehow its predictability doesn't affect its worth.
I'll leave it at that. There are moments of flaring genius. There is a running and too rare theme of the evils of the proxy or surrogate. The novel takes place during the war in Iraq and the idea of realizing your evils by using others is stark and clear, but Welsh doesn't give us enough of that. He always shines when he turns his shit-smeared lens onto our society and culture. Here he tends to focus more on the individuals, more so than in other novels, with mixed results. It's still a fun read and when it gets more twisted and surreal, the novel really thrives.
October 22, 2021
So rude! So great!
October 19, 2010
A modern update of "Dorian Gray", in which the poor victim that suffers all the traces of the protagonist's abusive drinking, drugs and sex is not a painting, but a real life colleague of his. In the beginning, our macho restaurant critic utterly resents the shy and boring Brian Kibby, who always gets promoted in front of him, because he himself suffers from a major drinking problem and Kibby is like decency incarnated. One night he can't take it any more and curses Kibby - after which he further drowns his misery in booze. The next day, he not only doesn't have the usual hangover, but Kibby shows up late for work and looks like a drunk bum. From then on, our restaurant critic abuses the strange physical connection between him and Kibby, only taking just enough care as not to kill him right away.
While I wasn't wild about the book while reading it, I must say the story keeps holding a grip on you later on. Welsh has managed to invent complex characters and convey a claustrophobic atmosphere in which lust, hatred, agression and self-destructiveness all get mixed up. Apart from that, the novel has got quite enough surprises up its sleeve to be entertaining until the end. Not as good as "Trainspotting", but certainly worth a read.
While I wasn't wild about the book while reading it, I must say the story keeps holding a grip on you later on. Welsh has managed to invent complex characters and convey a claustrophobic atmosphere in which lust, hatred, agression and self-destructiveness all get mixed up. Apart from that, the novel has got quite enough surprises up its sleeve to be entertaining until the end. Not as good as "Trainspotting", but certainly worth a read.
January 13, 2016
It would be easy to say this is not my favorite Irvine Welsh book.
So we'll just leave it at that.
So we'll just leave it at that.
May 3, 2022
The song remains
Irvine Welsh has a vivid imagination and is one of the great writers of our time there's no doubt in my mind about that. Loved this book with all its twists and turns. Inspired and unique are the ideas characters and plot lines...Highly recommend this one. Having read a few now this is in the top end, not his best for me but that's not saying it isn't great it is. A powerhouse of literary verse.
Irvine Welsh has a vivid imagination and is one of the great writers of our time there's no doubt in my mind about that. Loved this book with all its twists and turns. Inspired and unique are the ideas characters and plot lines...Highly recommend this one. Having read a few now this is in the top end, not his best for me but that's not saying it isn't great it is. A powerhouse of literary verse.
March 25, 2024
This book is literally chad alcoholic vs virgin coldplay fan
I thought it was going to be square root train squatting but it ended up just as dark, if not darker at times.
Mr Welsh's writing kept me gripped throughout, as always. The main twist for the book is pretty silly at first, not usual for Irvine (although maybe it is and im starting to realise trainspotting is the odd one out) but there's no faffing about after that and it is integral to the story ,which is an Edinburgh tragedy 😍
I thought it was going to be square root train squatting but it ended up just as dark, if not darker at times.
Mr Welsh's writing kept me gripped throughout, as always. The main twist for the book is pretty silly at first, not usual for Irvine (although maybe it is and im starting to realise trainspotting is the odd one out) but there's no faffing about after that and it is integral to the story ,which is an Edinburgh tragedy 😍
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