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I Only Know Who I Am When I Am Somebody Else
Beloved stage and screen actor Danny Aiello’s big-hearted memoir reveals a man of passion, integrity, and guts—and lays bare one of the most unlikely success stories ever told.
Danny Aiello admits that he backed into his acting career by mistake. That’s easy to see when you begin at the Raised by his loving and fiercely resilient mother in the tenements of Manhattan and the South Bronx, and forever haunted by the death of his infant brother, Danny struggled early on to define who he was and who he could be. Shoeshine boy, numbers runner, and pool hustler were among the first identities he tried on. After getting into trouble on the streets, he enlisted in the army at seventeen, served in Germany, and was honorably discharged. Later, as an unemployed high school dropout raising a family of his own, Danny was burdened with serious depression by the time he landed a job as a bouncer at a Hell’s Kitchen comedy club. Taking to the stage in the wee hours to belt out standards, Danny Aiello found his voice and his He was born to act. Performing in converted churches and touring companies led to supporting roles in such films as The Part II and Moonstruck, and an Oscar nomination for his role as the embattled Salvatore in Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing. For a guy who had never set foot in an acting class, this was supreme validation for being an outsider who followed his heart.
In a raw and real chronicle of his gritty urban past, Danny Aiello looks back with appreciation, amusement, and frank disbelief at his unconventional road to success. He offers candid observations on working with luminary directors Francis Ford Coppola, Woody Allen, and Robert Altman, among others, and a vast roster of actors, including Robert De Niro, Paul Newman, Madonna, Cher, and Lauren Bacall. He opens up about friends he loved, friends he lost, and the professional relationships that weren’t meant to be. Above all, Danny Aiello imparts a life lesson straight out of his own experience to anyone who’s ever felt like an It’s never too late to become who you want to be, to find happiness and fulfillment, and to embrace the winding road to get there.
Danny Aiello admits that he backed into his acting career by mistake. That’s easy to see when you begin at the Raised by his loving and fiercely resilient mother in the tenements of Manhattan and the South Bronx, and forever haunted by the death of his infant brother, Danny struggled early on to define who he was and who he could be. Shoeshine boy, numbers runner, and pool hustler were among the first identities he tried on. After getting into trouble on the streets, he enlisted in the army at seventeen, served in Germany, and was honorably discharged. Later, as an unemployed high school dropout raising a family of his own, Danny was burdened with serious depression by the time he landed a job as a bouncer at a Hell’s Kitchen comedy club. Taking to the stage in the wee hours to belt out standards, Danny Aiello found his voice and his He was born to act. Performing in converted churches and touring companies led to supporting roles in such films as The Part II and Moonstruck, and an Oscar nomination for his role as the embattled Salvatore in Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing. For a guy who had never set foot in an acting class, this was supreme validation for being an outsider who followed his heart.
In a raw and real chronicle of his gritty urban past, Danny Aiello looks back with appreciation, amusement, and frank disbelief at his unconventional road to success. He offers candid observations on working with luminary directors Francis Ford Coppola, Woody Allen, and Robert Altman, among others, and a vast roster of actors, including Robert De Niro, Paul Newman, Madonna, Cher, and Lauren Bacall. He opens up about friends he loved, friends he lost, and the professional relationships that weren’t meant to be. Above all, Danny Aiello imparts a life lesson straight out of his own experience to anyone who’s ever felt like an It’s never too late to become who you want to be, to find happiness and fulfillment, and to embrace the winding road to get there.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published October 7, 2014
6 people are currently reading
270 people want to read
About the author
Danny Aiello
10Ìýbooks3ÌýfollowersDanny Aiello was an American actor who appeared in numerous motion pictures, including The Godfather Part II (1974), Once Upon a Time in America (1984), The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), Moonstruck (1987), and Lucky Number Slevin (2006). He had a pivotal role in the Spike Lee film Do the Right Thing.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
October 7, 2022
An unusual life story to say the least. A man who grew up in a hardscrabble life in New York City, joining the military with no other career options, become a bus driver union leader only to be betrayed, degenerating into a life of crime, only to be able to pull out and join the New York theater business through the back door, then later being a movie actor. All of this while having a wife and children to support.
He never became a household name, but his story is very intriguing nevertheless.
He never became a household name, but his story is very intriguing nevertheless.
March 6, 2018
This is the perfect read for anyone who doesn't take themselves too seriously while being their "other" selves. Danny gives you a whole book's worth of lessons and hardships pertaining in and around Hollywood. You discover that he is more than the characters he plays and behind that tough facade, he is really just a loving husband and father trying desperately to fit into a world that continues to tell him he might not belong. His acting chops prove the naysayin' otherwise and while dominating his roles, he also conquers the hearts of those he works with.
I love reading biographies/autobiographies because no two stories are the same, and it's enlightening to see how the lives of others play out. Danny Aiello is anything but a secondary character in one of your favorite movies. After reading this, I realize he has been in way more movies than I can count and the majority of them I've never heard of. However, the stars he's had the opportunity to work with is astounding. No wonder he's mastered his craft and continues to be a joy to watch on screen.
This is a quick and satisfying read for anyone who wants to know what it's like to find yourself while being someone else.
I love reading biographies/autobiographies because no two stories are the same, and it's enlightening to see how the lives of others play out. Danny Aiello is anything but a secondary character in one of your favorite movies. After reading this, I realize he has been in way more movies than I can count and the majority of them I've never heard of. However, the stars he's had the opportunity to work with is astounding. No wonder he's mastered his craft and continues to be a joy to watch on screen.
This is a quick and satisfying read for anyone who wants to know what it's like to find yourself while being someone else.
February 16, 2021
Reading this was just like listening to Aiello talk about his life. There's a conversational tone to the book that made it easy to read. He had a lot of great stories about the movies and plays he was in and the actors he worked with. I always enjoy seeing him in a film and liked reading his side of the productions.
I did find the title of this book very odd since he clearly knew who he was and what he valued. He came across as trying to be the ideal of what a man of his generation and upbringing should be: tough on the outside but with a heart of gold. He's clearly devoted to his family, even if he occasionally had to break the law to support them. All I can figure is that he considered being a decent provider as central to his life, and he only achieved some financial stability and professional fulfillment when he became an actor midway through his life.
I did find the title of this book very odd since he clearly knew who he was and what he valued. He came across as trying to be the ideal of what a man of his generation and upbringing should be: tough on the outside but with a heart of gold. He's clearly devoted to his family, even if he occasionally had to break the law to support them. All I can figure is that he considered being a decent provider as central to his life, and he only achieved some financial stability and professional fulfillment when he became an actor midway through his life.
October 13, 2022
A must read!
Anyone who enjoys autobiographies or books concerning the life of a Hollywood or Broadway actor should love this book. Danny stated in an interview that he used his iPhone while driving to record a lot of the stories in this book. The audio was then transcribed and touched up later. Maybe that is why it feels like he is having a conversation with the reader. Unlike other celebrity autobiographies I have read, the honesty is refreshing and everything is conveyed with raw emotion and true feelings. It’s palpable. The sad stories, the funny stories, successful endeavors, abject failures, Danny takes you there. Most of all I loved reading about how much this man loved his family and his friends.
I may be biased, because I was a fan of his work long before he published his book, but I did not want it to end. I really looked forward to spending time in this book every day.
The audiobook is also highly recommended. Aiello performs that version, instead of it being simply read aloud.
Anyone who enjoys autobiographies or books concerning the life of a Hollywood or Broadway actor should love this book. Danny stated in an interview that he used his iPhone while driving to record a lot of the stories in this book. The audio was then transcribed and touched up later. Maybe that is why it feels like he is having a conversation with the reader. Unlike other celebrity autobiographies I have read, the honesty is refreshing and everything is conveyed with raw emotion and true feelings. It’s palpable. The sad stories, the funny stories, successful endeavors, abject failures, Danny takes you there. Most of all I loved reading about how much this man loved his family and his friends.
I may be biased, because I was a fan of his work long before he published his book, but I did not want it to end. I really looked forward to spending time in this book every day.
The audiobook is also highly recommended. Aiello performs that version, instead of it being simply read aloud.
August 7, 2018
How a high school dropout goes from being a bouncer to a movie star at age 40 has to be interesting. The best aspect of this book is the inside stuff of movie making from script to screen and the hard knocks of the business. One example: an actor lands the dream role of Sonny Corleone only to find out that they switched to James Caan at the last minute. Lots of anecdotes featured well-known stars keep it lively. Descriptions of the work habits of great directors like Woody Allen or Sergio Leone is ideal for lovers of the art. Fun Hollywood bio if you can get past the blue collar writing style. Too much F word as the favorite adjective. [Save it for quoted material.] I'd have liked more on the lines of what is Al Pacino or Anjelina Jolie really like; but you're either a real sweetheart or a crumb.
January 6, 2021
Finished I Only Know Who I Am When I Am Somebody Else: My Life on the Street, on the Stage, and in the Movies by Danny Aiello, written in 2014, one of the better actor memoirs I’ve experienced. Aiello describes his hard scrabble early life and finding his way to performance through a job as a bouncer at the Improv Comedy Club in NYC. Aiello literally learned on the job with lots of natural talent and achieved stardom after a long career as a stage actor blossoming into work on screen and tv. He was literally the embodiment of a working actor. The book opens with the 1989 Oscar night and Aiello’s nomination for Best Actor in a Supporting role for Do The Right Thing.
November 8, 2018
I felt like Danny and I were both sitting at the same table, in front of a bowl of pasta somewhere on the west side as Danny shared his life's story. I couldn't put the book down as details were shared of the trials and triumphs of his success. Totally inspiring to me.
Referenced in the book was the movie "Dinner Rush", which I quickly ordered and thoroughly enjoyed. I have "Brooklyn Lobster" on deck.
Many thanks Danny, for a great read. And if we do pass on the street, I'll be sure to share some gratitude. ;)
Referenced in the book was the movie "Dinner Rush", which I quickly ordered and thoroughly enjoyed. I have "Brooklyn Lobster" on deck.
Many thanks Danny, for a great read. And if we do pass on the street, I'll be sure to share some gratitude. ;)
May 25, 2019
This is a great autobiography of Aiello's journey from bouncer and petty crook to making a successful foray into acting on stage and then screen in his late 30s. Aiello reflects back on filming and working with people from Woody Allen to Lauren Bacall while his rather conservative, reserved views and opinions meet the Hollywood world and he not always succeeds in keeping an explosive temper under wraps.
November 17, 2020
What A Fascinating Life
I love to read about interesting and inspirational lives and Danny Aiello's was certainly all that. He's a no nonsense New Yorker and loved hearing his voice throughout his autobiography.
And I'll leave you with his own words:
"we can help each other, motivate each other, serve as models for one another. That’s one of the greatest things about being on the planet, the fact that we share in that long human process of encouragement and love."
I love to read about interesting and inspirational lives and Danny Aiello's was certainly all that. He's a no nonsense New Yorker and loved hearing his voice throughout his autobiography.
And I'll leave you with his own words:
"we can help each other, motivate each other, serve as models for one another. That’s one of the greatest things about being on the planet, the fact that we share in that long human process of encouragement and love."
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November 27, 2022I only read this book because my mother's old friend was Danny Aiello's sister. I wanted to see if Danny Aiello mentioned his sister Rose. He did in passing in the beginning. Otherwise I was not interested. My old neighbor Michael Kay was Aiello's nephew. I didn't see Michael mentioned in the book.
January 25, 2018
An unusual life story from an actor who never acted until he was almost 40. Let’s just say he’s a lot deeper and complicated than Johnny Cammareri.
February 2, 2015
This was a good book. Like most of us Danny has seen his fair share of ups and downs. However, he maintains an upbeat energy that made reading this book more enjoyable.
When I read autobiographies, the most appealing aspect is when I feel the person is actually telling me the story personally. Not that I am a huge Danny Aiello fan, but I felt that I could hear him telling me the story of his life and that just resonates with me.
Anyway, it's a decent book about a decent guy living with the ups and downs of the entertainment industry.
When I read autobiographies, the most appealing aspect is when I feel the person is actually telling me the story personally. Not that I am a huge Danny Aiello fan, but I felt that I could hear him telling me the story of his life and that just resonates with me.
Anyway, it's a decent book about a decent guy living with the ups and downs of the entertainment industry.
August 3, 2015
I enjoyed the tone of the book. I'm not sure how much actually was written by Aiello, but his voice came through quite a lot of it. I hadn't realized that he had been in so many plays. Would be nice to be able to view some of the performances he relates. The one critism I have is the he seems to only skim the surface of the events in his life. Perhaps it's too much to expect him to go in some deep self-analysis of these things as it just doesn't seem to be the kind of person he is, but I was left wanting to know more...
December 3, 2014
I won this book from Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was a candid portrait of an accidental actor. I especially enjoyed reading about his life before he became famous. He comes across as genuine, someone to hang out with and have a cup of coffee. It's nice to read about someone for a change who isn't narcissistic, drug addled, or unfaithful. Danny's just an all around good guy, and a pleasure to read about.
October 10, 2014
I won this book in a Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ giveaway. I also thought it deserves a few good words....
Danny Aiello's Memoir is truly stunning! It reads like a great story instead of a memoir. Good instincts, hard work, and great energy are three things Danny Aiello has relied on his entire life and he accomplished all three with this Memoir. A must read for any great book lover!!
Danny Aiello's Memoir is truly stunning! It reads like a great story instead of a memoir. Good instincts, hard work, and great energy are three things Danny Aiello has relied on his entire life and he accomplished all three with this Memoir. A must read for any great book lover!!
January 8, 2015
What a GREAT BOOK! I really enjoyed Mr. Aiello's book and have since passed it on to a couple of friends to read and enjoy. I can not give a review any better than what "Kariman Shama" and "Dusty Summerford" said in their review. I won this on GoodReads and have been paying it forward since. Thanks
June 18, 2015
Danny Aiello says he got into acting by mistake. He got a job as a bouncer at a comedy club He sang songs until the wee hours. He then went into acting and was in Godfather 11, Moonstruck with Cher. He talks about about the directors he has worked with and the actors he has worked with. He has an amazing story.
March 5, 2015
Audio. Enjoyable read, by the author himself of his upbringing in New York's the Bronx, a hard life and on to his life in show business. Tugs at the heart strings when he speaks of his deceased adult son, Danny III, who died of pancreatic cancer in 2010.
March 13, 2015
I really enjoyed this memoir of Danny Aiello's life growing up in the Bronx and becoming an actor. It had a great conversational tone and reflects his personality. I also loved the Lauren Bacall story! I highly recommend this one.
April 27, 2015
Honest & up front. Written so you really get a sense of the person he is. Satisfying sections on each of his major movies or plays. I like how he talks about about his loved ones and about other people he's worked with -- very affecting. Does come across at times like a bit of a bully.
January 25, 2015
Great memoir makes you love Danny Aiello and want to watch every movie he's ever been in. Five stars, this is how a memoir should be written.
March 8, 2015
Great story of a great man who became a great actor basically on accident and never let it change who he is as a person. I've been a fan for years but now I'm a much bigger fan.
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March 28, 2015Disappointing. I should never read about actors I love.
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