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If I Break #1
If I Break
When I met Cal Scott, I knew he’d be a distraction.
At six-foot-two, with ebony hair, deep gray eyes, and a smile that could only hide an agenda, I knew he was trouble. And for the first time in my life, a little trouble was just what I needed.
No. What I wanted.
It wasn’t like I’d ever marry the guy.
Until I did.
What I thought would be my happily ever after, was only the beginning. Cal has a secret. One that makes loving him come with a price, and being his wife cost more than I bargained for.
At six-foot-two, with ebony hair, deep gray eyes, and a smile that could only hide an agenda, I knew he was trouble. And for the first time in my life, a little trouble was just what I needed.
No. What I wanted.
It wasn’t like I’d ever marry the guy.
Until I did.
What I thought would be my happily ever after, was only the beginning. Cal has a secret. One that makes loving him come with a price, and being his wife cost more than I bargained for.
309 pages, Paperback
First published June 4, 2014
4048 people are currently reading
13296 people want to read
About the author
Portia Moore
28books1,453followersPortia Moore is an Amazon and iBooks bestselling author of romantic suspense, including the popular If I Break series, the Her series, and the Collided series, which combined have sold over one million copies across all platforms. Located in the chilly Midwest, her favorite vacations are anywhere that's hot and sunny with a beach, reading the same kind of heart-pounding, twisty, edge-of-your seat romantic thrillers that she loves to write. When that's not possible, she loves drinking wine, cooking (also with wine) and spending time with her little family of one human child and two furbabies, one that barks and one that meows.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,332 reviews
July 10, 2015
1 where-was-the-editor star. Full review posted September 11, 2014
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I couldn't resist the little pun…you'll know what I mean after you've read my review.
If I Break is a redundant story that features unlikable characters, really poor writing and über shoddy editing to the point where I felt appalled that something so incredibly bad has seen the light of day in the first place. The imbecile of a heroine was bathing in idiotic hissy fits and communicated through pleading, mumbling, crying, anger, sarcasm, and screaming. She was never able to pull off a decent conversation and got on. My. Last. Nerve. It’s an irrevocable fact that I. Could. Not. Stand. The. Bitch. Lauren of 2008 acts like a shy, awkward, and embarrassing little girl and Lauren of 2011 is a whiny bitch who throws temper tantrums, screams her head off, growls, and acts like a dumb twat and will be gladly appeased with sex. 'Oh, I still love him,' blah blah blah�'But I don't know him.' *pets*
Unfortunately this story has been inundated with angry outbursts at their worst, shouting matches, and tears ad nauseam. Save me from such an unbelievable and cheesy drama fest. Thank. You. Very. Much. Also, the constant back and forth between 2008 and 2011 was terribly annoying and impaired the flow of the story.
At 5 % I had to read this�
That's when I thought Lauren might be suffering from but soon it was obvious that the Mystery Man was Cal. I mean when the comments about him being an enigma are shoved down my throat ad friggin' nauseam I'm ready to capitulate. I lost count how many times Lauren said she didn't know Cal even though they'd been together for three years. Yep, Lauren, I got it that Cal is a mystery, so quit babbling about the same again and again. It's boring. By the way, what kind of woman marries a man and has no clue what said hubs does for a living? Well, Cal was allegedly in such a confidential position that he couldn’t give his own wife any details in regards to his job description. If I had been in her shoes I wouldn’t have accepted that crap. And even more so, considering the fact that Cal practically swum in money.
Repetitiveness is an issue that will make me go through the roof. *bangs head on the table*
Here is my word count:
263 x smile, smiles
177 x laugh, laughs, laughing, laughter, laughed
50 x grin, grins, grinning
26 x giggle, giggles, giggled, giggling
74 x soft, softly, softens, softer, softest, softening
24 x frantically, frantic
32 x sarcastically, sarcastic
10 x sternly
12 x whimper
31 x plead, pleads, pleading, pleadingly
57 x cry, crying
76 x tear (a single tear, it's not the verb), tears (plural of tear)
62 x yell, yells, yelling, yelled
32 x shout, shouts
28 x scream, screams, screaming
70 x angry, angrily
28 x mumble, mumbles, mumbling
43 x playful, playfully, playfulness
18 x growl, growls, growling
It boggles the mind.
The errors in If I Break are an ugly and endless pit. It’s absolutely shocking and unacceptable how terribly bad this book has been edited. One has to wonder if someone checked it for spelling, missing and misplaced words, punctuation etc. in the first place. A good editor should also have toned down the ever-present exclamation marks.
When I started to read the story, I simply ignored the mistakes but after a while it pissed me off in a major way and I began to highlight them. Here are more than a few examples for your perusal:
Situation as per September 9, 2014
The last thing I’ve wanted to do is embarrass her with all our drama her on the front lawn.
Truth is I can’t blame any girl that did throw them self at him.
“Now. Take off mine,� I say, the nervous pit in my stomach transforming into an excitement I’ve never felt a rush that’s foreign, a craving I don’t recognize.
“I like you and I’d feel a little better about myself it if I knew more about you,� I tell him honestly.
I’m can feel my temperature rising, and by that sly grin on his face, I see that he can too. He puts his fingers through belt loop on my pants and pulls me back toward him our chests collide.
I—I don’t want lose my
“You’ve been sleep this entire time?�
“I’m going to make sure that (�)�
Now being here being without Cal, is worse.
They young woman seems caught off guard by my candor.
It is still amazing to me now much you can love a person so much that didn’t exist in�
I grab the off my dresser and take it bed with me.
But I don’t hear anyone else accept for Cal.
“Let me finish,� she says, looking me in eye.(�)�
“Babe, this going to happen sometimes.(..)�
(�) she looks surprised and a second later she’s rushes back toward me.
Never in a million years did I ever think I would I almost fight
She nods her, eyes wide. Baba: Punctuation is a tough chore. O__o
Suddenly, cool air filter into the shower.
Because if Cal loves me as much a much as he makes believe he does.
His trails off looking at his feet.
"She's fine, she a perfectly normal�"
"Even knowing all of it, I don't how I'm supposed to get past it," I explain.
Ignore the money because it was a freebie. However, I wasted my precious reading time with this book�
His frown softens and his eyebrow arches.
33 x frown, frowns, frowning
Around the 57 % mark there is an absolutely ridiculous and overly melodramatic scene when Make up your mind already, bitch! And in between all the crying there is this: *drum roll*
“Put me to sleep,� I say, sternly commanding my normal voice to return, and his eyebrow rises skeptically. *insert major eye roll*
Federer is always such a gentleman on the court but he's entitled to a little glitch.
I would never associate the term “stern� with this whiny bitch.
Before a second passes, he takes my lips in his, countering my hectic kisses and frantic need with a passionate patience that my fake bravado isn’t ready for, an unhurried desire that causes my stiffness to melt away.
“Hi,� he says softly, his eyes as wide as mine.
My heart crawls up my throat. (�) My hands are starting to shake, my body taking on directions of its own. I can feel my emotions start to swell from the bottom of my stomach, ready to overflow, if I don’t gain some sort of control over them. I can’t blow up here; I can’t boil over.
There’s no nice way to say it, the writing was just bad.
Maybe I should mention that Lauren considers
Note to self: Is this a bad joke? Don't we have more pressing issues in this world? Anyway, I shouldn't be surprised given the fact what a superficial person Lauren is.
Since I could smell the so-called plot twist very soon, that might have been the reason why the revelation of the secret felt so anticlimactic. It didn’t manage to move me in any way, shape or form.
Bottom line, I didn't care about the hero, the heroine was a very huge PITA, the bad sex was a turn-off, the poor writing/editing only accomplished to incense me, the twist didn't hold my interest weren't good enough for me) and the constant arguments only aggravated my irritation. Long story short, If I Break did nothing but to further the poor standards in today’s romance books. It’s a real pity.
Read at your own risk.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I couldn't resist the little pun…you'll know what I mean after you've read my review.
If I Break is a redundant story that features unlikable characters, really poor writing and über shoddy editing to the point where I felt appalled that something so incredibly bad has seen the light of day in the first place. The imbecile of a heroine was bathing in idiotic hissy fits and communicated through pleading, mumbling, crying, anger, sarcasm, and screaming. She was never able to pull off a decent conversation and got on. My. Last. Nerve. It’s an irrevocable fact that I. Could. Not. Stand. The. Bitch. Lauren of 2008 acts like a shy, awkward, and embarrassing little girl and Lauren of 2011 is a whiny bitch who throws temper tantrums, screams her head off, growls, and acts like a dumb twat and will be gladly appeased with sex. 'Oh, I still love him,' blah blah blah�'But I don't know him.' *pets*
Unfortunately this story has been inundated with angry outbursts at their worst, shouting matches, and tears ad nauseam. Save me from such an unbelievable and cheesy drama fest. Thank. You. Very. Much. Also, the constant back and forth between 2008 and 2011 was terribly annoying and impaired the flow of the story.
At 5 % I had to read this�
That's when I thought Lauren might be suffering from but soon it was obvious that the Mystery Man was Cal. I mean when the comments about him being an enigma are shoved down my throat ad friggin' nauseam I'm ready to capitulate. I lost count how many times Lauren said she didn't know Cal even though they'd been together for three years. Yep, Lauren, I got it that Cal is a mystery, so quit babbling about the same again and again. It's boring. By the way, what kind of woman marries a man and has no clue what said hubs does for a living? Well, Cal was allegedly in such a confidential position that he couldn’t give his own wife any details in regards to his job description. If I had been in her shoes I wouldn’t have accepted that crap. And even more so, considering the fact that Cal practically swum in money.
Repetitiveness is an issue that will make me go through the roof. *bangs head on the table*
Here is my word count:
263 x smile, smiles
177 x laugh, laughs, laughing, laughter, laughed
50 x grin, grins, grinning
26 x giggle, giggles, giggled, giggling
74 x soft, softly, softens, softer, softest, softening
24 x frantically, frantic
32 x sarcastically, sarcastic
10 x sternly
12 x whimper
31 x plead, pleads, pleading, pleadingly
57 x cry, crying
76 x tear (a single tear, it's not the verb), tears (plural of tear)
62 x yell, yells, yelling, yelled
32 x shout, shouts
28 x scream, screams, screaming
70 x angry, angrily
28 x mumble, mumbles, mumbling
43 x playful, playfully, playfulness
18 x growl, growls, growling
It boggles the mind.
The errors in If I Break are an ugly and endless pit. It’s absolutely shocking and unacceptable how terribly bad this book has been edited. One has to wonder if someone checked it for spelling, missing and misplaced words, punctuation etc. in the first place. A good editor should also have toned down the ever-present exclamation marks.
When I started to read the story, I simply ignored the mistakes but after a while it pissed me off in a major way and I began to highlight them. Here are more than a few examples for your perusal:
Situation as per September 9, 2014
The last thing I’ve wanted to do is embarrass her with all our drama her on the front lawn.
Truth is I can’t blame any girl that did throw them self at him.
“Now. Take off mine,� I say, the nervous pit in my stomach transforming into an excitement I’ve never felt a rush that’s foreign, a craving I don’t recognize.
“I like you and I’d feel a little better about myself it if I knew more about you,� I tell him honestly.
I’m can feel my temperature rising, and by that sly grin on his face, I see that he can too. He puts his fingers through belt loop on my pants and pulls me back toward him our chests collide.
I—I don’t want lose my
“You’ve been sleep this entire time?�
“I’m going to make sure that (�)�
Now being here being without Cal, is worse.
They young woman seems caught off guard by my candor.
It is still amazing to me now much you can love a person so much that didn’t exist in�
I grab the off my dresser and take it bed with me.
But I don’t hear anyone else accept for Cal.
“Let me finish,� she says, looking me in eye.(�)�
“Babe, this going to happen sometimes.(..)�
(�) she looks surprised and a second later she’s rushes back toward me.
Never in a million years did I ever think I would I almost fight
She nods her, eyes wide. Baba: Punctuation is a tough chore. O__o
Suddenly, cool air filter into the shower.
Because if Cal loves me as much a much as he makes believe he does.
His trails off looking at his feet.
"She's fine, she a perfectly normal�"
"Even knowing all of it, I don't how I'm supposed to get past it," I explain.
Ignore the money because it was a freebie. However, I wasted my precious reading time with this book�
His frown softens and his eyebrow arches.
33 x frown, frowns, frowning
Around the 57 % mark there is an absolutely ridiculous and overly melodramatic scene when Make up your mind already, bitch! And in between all the crying there is this: *drum roll*
“Put me to sleep,� I say, sternly commanding my normal voice to return, and his eyebrow rises skeptically. *insert major eye roll*
Federer is always such a gentleman on the court but he's entitled to a little glitch.
I would never associate the term “stern� with this whiny bitch.
Before a second passes, he takes my lips in his, countering my hectic kisses and frantic need with a passionate patience that my fake bravado isn’t ready for, an unhurried desire that causes my stiffness to melt away.
“Hi,� he says softly, his eyes as wide as mine.
My heart crawls up my throat. (�) My hands are starting to shake, my body taking on directions of its own. I can feel my emotions start to swell from the bottom of my stomach, ready to overflow, if I don’t gain some sort of control over them. I can’t blow up here; I can’t boil over.
There’s no nice way to say it, the writing was just bad.
Maybe I should mention that Lauren considers
Note to self: Is this a bad joke? Don't we have more pressing issues in this world? Anyway, I shouldn't be surprised given the fact what a superficial person Lauren is.
Since I could smell the so-called plot twist very soon, that might have been the reason why the revelation of the secret felt so anticlimactic. It didn’t manage to move me in any way, shape or form.
Bottom line, I didn't care about the hero, the heroine was a very huge PITA, the bad sex was a turn-off, the poor writing/editing only accomplished to incense me, the twist didn't hold my interest weren't good enough for me) and the constant arguments only aggravated my irritation. Long story short, If I Break did nothing but to further the poor standards in today’s romance books. It’s a real pity.
Read at your own risk.
June 6, 2014
Title: If I Break
Series: No
Author: Portia Moore
Release Date: June 6, 2014
Rating: 3.75 stars
Cliffhanger:. No
HEA:
If I Break is thrilling, sometimes excruciating and mindfucking read, yet I liked it! I was kept on my toes from the beginning till the end, as nothing was sure and even though it was frustrating at times I just couldn’t stop reading.
Portia Moore created original story that holds much potential and I’m looking forward to reading more of her work. Yes, there were few things that made me roll my eyes or didn’t sit well with me, but still I am going to give this novel four stars.
This story is about Lauren. Her marriage with Cal is far from perfect. She loves her husband very much but he has some secrets and leaves her for long ‘business trips�. Sometimes days pass without him contacting her. She feels alone and not needed. And although Cal's not exactly abusive or bad, he acts like an asshole. Lauren tries to leave him, but it’s hard to do that when she loves him so much she can't be without him. They fight and make up only to nurse they broken hearts after. But when Cal's secrets are getting only darker and darker, Lauren doesn't know what to do...
I didn’t like Cal much, especially at the beginning. It was hard for me to understand his behavior. And I was pretty sure he’s a jerk and nothing will justify his terrible actions. But when I finally did find out what’s really going on, I was mind blown. I’ve never expected that! I was shocked and heartbroken. Everything started to finally make sense. And wow! I wanted to hug Lauren so much then.
While reading If I Break, I was on the verge of losing my mind. It was a true roller coaster ride.
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January 10, 2017
I've read several good reviews of this book. So I started reading it with high expectations, I liked it but I didn't love it. I can see why so many would 5 star, but unfortunately I had the twist figured out early on. So everything just felt predictable. it was good but i'm not reading the other two books.
May 21, 2020
If I Break is the first book in an older series, but I only recently discovered it this year after a friend recommended it to me.
Thank you, Courtney! 👊🏻
I'll be honest and say if I didn't know this book had some type of twist, I may have dnfed it halfway through.
The heroine seemed a bit on the weak side for me, but I'm so fucking glad I stuck with it! It's such an unique story and not at all what it seems.
The ending left me jaw dropped, and I couldn't pick up the next installment fast enough!
If you're looking for your next mind fucking binge, you don't want to miss out on this series!
Thank you, Courtney! 👊🏻
I'll be honest and say if I didn't know this book had some type of twist, I may have dnfed it halfway through.
The heroine seemed a bit on the weak side for me, but I'm so fucking glad I stuck with it! It's such an unique story and not at all what it seems.
The ending left me jaw dropped, and I couldn't pick up the next installment fast enough!
If you're looking for your next mind fucking binge, you don't want to miss out on this series!
March 10, 2021
4,5 stars rounded up to 5
Let me first say that this book ends in a cliffhanger & there are 4 more books to follow.
For now, I can just say that this book has been the first step to what seems to be a mind-blowing series.
My rating may change after I complete the series. I don't know. Let's wait and see.
**
Safety warnings:
This is not a book if you need a perfect hero and a perfect heroine in your romance novels. It is far from that. The hero maybe has one of the biggest imperfections you can think of.
And the heroine is so much in love with him that she gets married to him although she doesn't know much about him... only to realize later that her love story was worse than a bad joke.
This is not a book for readers who need %100 safety in their romance books because it is a crazy ride. It deals with a very painful love story and a torturing life experience.
And how safe it is really depends...
All in all, it is an experience that is worth it all, at least for me, it is. I am glad I took a risk and started reading this series. I just hope it keeps on being that good or even get better and finally provides me with a good HEA.
**
Try to avoid spoilers
If you never read a review about this book, please don't because if you learn what I am hiding now, then, the book will lose its surprise effect. I am hiding it because it will spoil the whole series. Or if you really need to read more reviews, please do try to find spoiler-free ones.
I myself had accidentally come across a review that told about the plot twist without hiding it under a spoiler tag (what a shame!). So I kinda knew what the book was about before starting the series and I started anyways but I wish I didn't know, then it would be an even worse shock to me.
On second thoughts, maybe this is better, at least I am crying in my armchair silently now, not bawling my eyes out on the floor.
Writing:
The writing is captivating and it makes you feel. It is written very well (despite a few editing mistakes that taint its perfection; hence my -0,5 point).
This first book has past-present chapters, changing all the time. One chapter from past, one chapter from the present and they all continue forwards finally completing the circle.
It is told by the heroine's point of view, who is clueless to what's happening all the time. What happens to her is something I wouldn't wish for anyone to experience.
The plot:
Lauren Brooks falls in love with Cal Scott at 21 and she gets married to him at 22.
She is so smitten by him that she ignores all the warning signs in their relationship. The man is mysterious and he keeps a lot of secrets from Lauren. Those secrets slowly start to deteriorate their marriage.
I thought I had him all figured out the first time I met him, that he was either a suave businessman or some rich playboy. I couldn’t have been more wrong. He’s neither of those, but even though I can say what he isn’t, I still don’t know what he is.
At the age of 23, Lauren is abandoned by Cal for no reason at all. He says he has to go, without explaining any reason to her but he also asks her not to give up on him.
No words or no news from him for 2 years!
At 25, Lauren (by accident) learns where Cal is and she goes and finds him. From then on, it is a mind-blowing series of revelations...
Although I hated the hero for the %90 of the book, I cried for him in the end, as well. Poor guy, he was another victim, not only the heroine. But the heroine and what she goes through... OMG, so so painful...
And his parents... the hero's parents... oh, please bring them to me for torture. How can they be so cruel?
Now I am starting the next book Book 1,5 but I know that there are 4 books I need to read until they finally manage to deal with this mess. OMG, until then, wish me luck.
You can follow
Let me first say that this book ends in a cliffhanger & there are 4 more books to follow.
For now, I can just say that this book has been the first step to what seems to be a mind-blowing series.
My rating may change after I complete the series. I don't know. Let's wait and see.
**
Safety warnings:
This is not a book if you need a perfect hero and a perfect heroine in your romance novels. It is far from that. The hero maybe has one of the biggest imperfections you can think of.
And the heroine is so much in love with him that she gets married to him although she doesn't know much about him... only to realize later that her love story was worse than a bad joke.
This is not a book for readers who need %100 safety in their romance books because it is a crazy ride. It deals with a very painful love story and a torturing life experience.
And how safe it is really depends...
All in all, it is an experience that is worth it all, at least for me, it is. I am glad I took a risk and started reading this series. I just hope it keeps on being that good or even get better and finally provides me with a good HEA.
**
Try to avoid spoilers
If you never read a review about this book, please don't because if you learn what I am hiding now, then, the book will lose its surprise effect. I am hiding it because it will spoil the whole series. Or if you really need to read more reviews, please do try to find spoiler-free ones.
I myself had accidentally come across a review that told about the plot twist without hiding it under a spoiler tag (what a shame!). So I kinda knew what the book was about before starting the series and I started anyways but I wish I didn't know, then it would be an even worse shock to me.
On second thoughts, maybe this is better, at least I am crying in my armchair silently now, not bawling my eyes out on the floor.
Writing:
The writing is captivating and it makes you feel. It is written very well (despite a few editing mistakes that taint its perfection; hence my -0,5 point).
This first book has past-present chapters, changing all the time. One chapter from past, one chapter from the present and they all continue forwards finally completing the circle.
It is told by the heroine's point of view, who is clueless to what's happening all the time. What happens to her is something I wouldn't wish for anyone to experience.
The plot:
Lauren Brooks falls in love with Cal Scott at 21 and she gets married to him at 22.
She is so smitten by him that she ignores all the warning signs in their relationship. The man is mysterious and he keeps a lot of secrets from Lauren. Those secrets slowly start to deteriorate their marriage.
I thought I had him all figured out the first time I met him, that he was either a suave businessman or some rich playboy. I couldn’t have been more wrong. He’s neither of those, but even though I can say what he isn’t, I still don’t know what he is.
At the age of 23, Lauren is abandoned by Cal for no reason at all. He says he has to go, without explaining any reason to her but he also asks her not to give up on him.
No words or no news from him for 2 years!
At 25, Lauren (by accident) learns where Cal is and she goes and finds him. From then on, it is a mind-blowing series of revelations...
Although I hated the hero for the %90 of the book, I cried for him in the end, as well. Poor guy, he was another victim, not only the heroine. But the heroine and what she goes through... OMG, so so painful...
And his parents... the hero's parents... oh, please bring them to me for torture. How can they be so cruel?
Now I am starting the next book Book 1,5 but I know that there are 4 books I need to read until they finally manage to deal with this mess. OMG, until then, wish me luck.
You can follow
September 3, 2014
Wow wow wow!!
Yes I said wow 3 times because this is exactly what this book deserves!
I have never read a book where the ending was soooo far from what I expected and so shocking. This is fiction at it's best!!
Firstly I want to say how well this book is written, Portia Moore- you definitely are a gifted writer.
On to the story...
What happens when you meet the man of your dreams... He whisks you away, steals your heard/mind and soul and you're living in this love bubble only to find out everything is so far off from what it really is...
Yep this happens to Lauren. When she met Cal... He was her greatest love and also her worst weakness.
That irrevocable love she has for him is breath taking. I truly can feel everything she felt.
After thinking her life couldn't get more perfect Lauren starts noticing she's married to a man but there are things she doesn't know about him. He disappears for work without a trace, a call or a text.
Huge black holes with no answers...
As a reader you.are.hooked.
Desperate for answers, solving the mystery is what we love right?
Only it's nothing that we ever thought of. Not by a long shot.
So bad that you wish you can turn back time and undo reading the next page... That is how shocked you will be.
The answers will leave you speechless... Thoughtless... With a gaping mouth!!
As my favorite quote goes... Perfect doesn't exist, in really you're lucky to get pieces of it. And that's exactly what Lauren got.
A HUGE huge thank you to Portia for this beauty of a book... Definitely on my all time favorite list and I will defiantly be reading the next installment. Infact right now... I'd do anything for book two!
September 14, 2014
3.5-4 Stars
Lauren is a dreamer, and she has plans on how to make her dreams come true. Everything is on track until the night she meets Cal. Cal comes in and changes everything, she thinks she has found her great love and they get married. Things have changed but Lauren feels she will get her happy ever after with Cal, only to find that her marriage is far from perfect and full of secrets.
I think this a very original story, and I like reading different things. I did get annoyed with Lauren and how she didn’t stand up for herself with Cal, but in the same respect I understand her loving him so much and wanting to savor the brief time they had together. However, I didn’t feel the love so much, she constantly said she didn’t know Cal, and I am not sure how you can love someone but not know them. I think you just love the idea of them at that point. Cal…well, I pretty much thought Cal was a dick the entire story. Like Lauren, I don’t really know Cal. I just found it hard to buy into their story and her great love for him.
In the end I am giving the book 4 stars, because I feel like the concept deserves credit. It is new, original, and while I did recently read a book with a similar secret, this story gives us a different perspective. I do not feel I can give the book a solid 5 stars due to the poor editing, and redundancy. I am intrigued with this story, and I do think it will only get better.
ARC kindly given in by author in exchange for an honest review.
Lauren is a dreamer, and she has plans on how to make her dreams come true. Everything is on track until the night she meets Cal. Cal comes in and changes everything, she thinks she has found her great love and they get married. Things have changed but Lauren feels she will get her happy ever after with Cal, only to find that her marriage is far from perfect and full of secrets.
I think this a very original story, and I like reading different things. I did get annoyed with Lauren and how she didn’t stand up for herself with Cal, but in the same respect I understand her loving him so much and wanting to savor the brief time they had together. However, I didn’t feel the love so much, she constantly said she didn’t know Cal, and I am not sure how you can love someone but not know them. I think you just love the idea of them at that point. Cal…well, I pretty much thought Cal was a dick the entire story. Like Lauren, I don’t really know Cal. I just found it hard to buy into their story and her great love for him.
In the end I am giving the book 4 stars, because I feel like the concept deserves credit. It is new, original, and while I did recently read a book with a similar secret, this story gives us a different perspective. I do not feel I can give the book a solid 5 stars due to the poor editing, and redundancy. I am intrigued with this story, and I do think it will only get better.
ARC kindly given in by author in exchange for an honest review.
December 29, 2014
DEAR BEFORE I BREAK,
Oh you are a masterpiece!
You had me turning and turning the pages. I wanted to know more. The mystery kept me at the edge of my seat. I am sooo sure Cal was a secret agent. Imagine my surprise when he wasn't!! I almost died!
THE STORY
LAUREN: I feel for her really. There wasn't really much she could do regarding the whole thing. She fell in love with someone. It wasn't her fault the entire thing. I really couldn't tell Lauren's story without giving away too much details.
I do have to say that I am a bit disappointed because she didn't really get to know Cal first before jumping into marrying him. He was rich, good looking, a perfect gentleman but not knowing anything else about him is a bad sign. The whole point in marrying someone is to be able to spend your entire life with that person. It is about making a beautiful family with them. But how could you do that when all there is are secrets?
I can't say that no one jumps into marriage like that. I am absolutely positively sure there are some that do. That's why there's VEGAS right? But still.. It is very important that you get to know the person you are going to marry first before taking that big leap.
Lauren was a strong-willed character. She doesn't give up until she found out the truth about Cal. She does throws tantrums every now and then though but for a reason. I understand why she's upset. But that doesn't change the fact that she put it on herself in the first place. Cal didn't force her into anything. I guess she was a hopeles romantic like me. To all the girls reading this...DON'T Just don't do it. Get to know your guy first. Make sure he is NOT A SERIAL KILLER. I am so not kidding. Do you guys know how many serial killers are out there just waiting for the next victim? Yeah sure I watch too much CSIs but come on.. There is a probability that the person you marry is a serial killer. So make sure you know your fiancee well before you say I do.
But no, Cal is not a serial killer.
*sorry about all the rambling about serial killers. i just actually thought he was when I was reading it.*
CAL: I liked him. I really do. I get tingly all over every time I read about Cal. And again, I can't reveal too much about him because it is going to spoil the entire book.
He had tons of secrets and I still couldn't grasp it after I finished the book. My mouth was hanging wide open after everything has been revealed. It was a total shocker! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT
You either love or hate Cal. You could say he's a lying bastard but then at the back of your head you can't really blame him. He just wanted to have a life of his own. oooohhkkkaayy I think that's about enough spoiler.. *ZIPS MOUTH*
Cal. Cal. Cal. Oh why!!
See as of now, I am still puzzled about it. I am still thinking about everything. About how it was possible for something like that to be true.
Sigh. Cal.
FINAL VERDICT
You started out really ordinary for me. I actually thought this was just a normal contemporary story about a husband and wife that just couldn't meet in the middle. I actually though Cal was a super spy or a terrorist or something but he wasn't. It was more than that.
HE WAS A HANDSOME FLESH EATING ZOMBIE GHOST!!
Nah. He wasn't. Just kidding! :)
But all I could say is that I was mindfucked! You played with my brain for real and this has never happened before. The ending was very unexpected.
The flash backs actually did a good job in telling this story. It was a very very clever idea. It wouldn't work if it was all told in the present time.
There were times that I felt that story was getting a bit slow. I was so eager to get to the part where all the secrets was revealed. I was at the point where I wanted to skim through the pages just so that I could know what Cal's secret was. I was trying so hard not to. I can't believe I controlled myself not to peek.
Towards the end, you really broke my heart. I could not believe how much it broke my heart. My heart was bleeding for Lauren and Cal. I was sobbing and wiping my tears away when I was nearing the end of the book. There is just so much passion, hurt and confusion it was heartbreaking. I wasn't able to breath right. Especially when everything was explained. It hurt. It hurt like hell.
I could only imagine what Lauren must have felt. There are no words to explain how much that must have sucked for her. *pause* no I couldn't say what it is. I could not say it! I seriously want to say what the secret is because it's too unique. I've never read anything like it. I've never read anything that left my mouth hanging open. The secret is just too good to tell.
All in all, I would definitely recommend you! I loved this book. I loved the drama. The twists and the turns. The complete unexpectedness of the entire book!
WOULD I RECOMMEND? definitely a yes!
Oh you are a masterpiece!
You had me turning and turning the pages. I wanted to know more. The mystery kept me at the edge of my seat. I am sooo sure Cal was a secret agent. Imagine my surprise when he wasn't!! I almost died!
THE STORY
Lauren Brooks thought she had the perfect husband. That was until he started disappearing on her.
Lauren and Cal met at a bar where she was waitressing. She didn't need the distraction . She only have two semester's left until she graduates and she needed to focus. But Cal was making it so hard for her to resist.
Everything was great.
Everything was perfect.
They got married.
Everything was at it was until slowly things started to change.
But Cal was hiding something.
He disappears for long periods of time and explains he was on a business trip but Lauren felt that there was something.
And Lauren would do anything to find out what her husband was hiding.
LAUREN: I feel for her really. There wasn't really much she could do regarding the whole thing. She fell in love with someone. It wasn't her fault the entire thing. I really couldn't tell Lauren's story without giving away too much details.
I do have to say that I am a bit disappointed because she didn't really get to know Cal first before jumping into marrying him. He was rich, good looking, a perfect gentleman but not knowing anything else about him is a bad sign. The whole point in marrying someone is to be able to spend your entire life with that person. It is about making a beautiful family with them. But how could you do that when all there is are secrets?
I can't say that no one jumps into marriage like that. I am absolutely positively sure there are some that do. That's why there's VEGAS right? But still.. It is very important that you get to know the person you are going to marry first before taking that big leap.
Lauren was a strong-willed character. She doesn't give up until she found out the truth about Cal. She does throws tantrums every now and then though but for a reason. I understand why she's upset. But that doesn't change the fact that she put it on herself in the first place. Cal didn't force her into anything. I guess she was a hopeles romantic like me. To all the girls reading this...DON'T Just don't do it. Get to know your guy first. Make sure he is NOT A SERIAL KILLER. I am so not kidding. Do you guys know how many serial killers are out there just waiting for the next victim? Yeah sure I watch too much CSIs but come on.. There is a probability that the person you marry is a serial killer. So make sure you know your fiancee well before you say I do.
But no, Cal is not a serial killer.
*sorry about all the rambling about serial killers. i just actually thought he was when I was reading it.*
CAL: I liked him. I really do. I get tingly all over every time I read about Cal. And again, I can't reveal too much about him because it is going to spoil the entire book.
He had tons of secrets and I still couldn't grasp it after I finished the book. My mouth was hanging wide open after everything has been revealed. It was a total shocker! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT
You either love or hate Cal. You could say he's a lying bastard but then at the back of your head you can't really blame him. He just wanted to have a life of his own. oooohhkkkaayy I think that's about enough spoiler.. *ZIPS MOUTH*
Cal. Cal. Cal. Oh why!!
See as of now, I am still puzzled about it. I am still thinking about everything. About how it was possible for something like that to be true.
Sigh. Cal.
FINAL VERDICT
You started out really ordinary for me. I actually thought this was just a normal contemporary story about a husband and wife that just couldn't meet in the middle. I actually though Cal was a super spy or a terrorist or something but he wasn't. It was more than that.
HE WAS A HANDSOME FLESH EATING ZOMBIE GHOST!!
Nah. He wasn't. Just kidding! :)
But all I could say is that I was mindfucked! You played with my brain for real and this has never happened before. The ending was very unexpected.
The flash backs actually did a good job in telling this story. It was a very very clever idea. It wouldn't work if it was all told in the present time.
There were times that I felt that story was getting a bit slow. I was so eager to get to the part where all the secrets was revealed. I was at the point where I wanted to skim through the pages just so that I could know what Cal's secret was. I was trying so hard not to. I can't believe I controlled myself not to peek.
Towards the end, you really broke my heart. I could not believe how much it broke my heart. My heart was bleeding for Lauren and Cal. I was sobbing and wiping my tears away when I was nearing the end of the book. There is just so much passion, hurt and confusion it was heartbreaking. I wasn't able to breath right. Especially when everything was explained. It hurt. It hurt like hell.
I could only imagine what Lauren must have felt. There are no words to explain how much that must have sucked for her. *pause* no I couldn't say what it is. I could not say it! I seriously want to say what the secret is because it's too unique. I've never read anything like it. I've never read anything that left my mouth hanging open. The secret is just too good to tell.
All in all, I would definitely recommend you! I loved this book. I loved the drama. The twists and the turns. The complete unexpectedness of the entire book!
WOULD I RECOMMEND? definitely a yes!
November 2, 2016
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AUTHOR REVIEW ALERT LOL. TEASERS! :-)
AUTHOR REVIEW ALERT LOL. TEASERS! :-)
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June 21, 2017FREE today on Amazon US (9/6/2014)
November 19, 2016
Yep... ya está lista la reseña COMPLETA, o sea... de toda la serie jajaja en el blog, la hice en una porque me los leí de corrido. :D jajaja
Y como no se en cual libro poner el link... creo que lo pondré en todos jeje.
Por cierto, en cada reseña aquí en GR dejo algo relativo solo al libro :)
Una historia completamente diferente.
Aparte de la forma de narración (saltos en el tiempo) y el estilo de la autora.
Hay una diferencia enorme en los protagonistas a los que estoy acostumbrada. No puedo decir más porque hago spoiler pero me ha gustado mucho.
Me ha tenido en vilo todo el tiempo, solo quería seguir leyendo para descubrir el secreto y cuando lo hice fue como WTF!?
HAHAHA me voy por el que sigue...
3.75 estrellas,
No sé porque no le doy 4, pero algo me detiene JA. Así que le dejo las 4 en GR
Y como no se en cual libro poner el link... creo que lo pondré en todos jeje.
Por cierto, en cada reseña aquí en GR dejo algo relativo solo al libro :)
Una historia completamente diferente.
Aparte de la forma de narración (saltos en el tiempo) y el estilo de la autora.
Hay una diferencia enorme en los protagonistas a los que estoy acostumbrada. No puedo decir más porque hago spoiler pero me ha gustado mucho.
Me ha tenido en vilo todo el tiempo, solo quería seguir leyendo para descubrir el secreto y cuando lo hice fue como WTF!?
HAHAHA me voy por el que sigue...
3.75 estrellas,
No sé porque no le doy 4, pero algo me detiene JA. Así que le dejo las 4 en GR
November 24, 2014
What was this ? And still no answers ?
August 19, 2020
I doubt I’ll be able to fully articulate my feelings for this book, but I’m going to try. Bear with me.
* If I Break was given to me in exchange for an honest review. I've never read anything by Portia Moore before and for my first time this book was and wasn't a good introduction into her writing.
Despite its failings the writing is well done and that in itself is enough for me to pick up another book by her, and give her another shot.
The execution of said writing however, is poorly done. There are flashback sequences when if done correctly can greatly effect the readers reading experience; flashbacks generally enhance the current story line. This did not.
Now with that being said, let’s get into the root of the story and my problems with it. a)What this book has to offer is the mundane dissatisfaction of entering a marriage not knowing who it is you’re marrying and failing to see the signs and ignoring the warnings of those around you.
“There’s going to be times where you won’t know what his problem is, but gor there to be any hope for you two to have a meaningful relationship, you need to have full acceptance of this. You’re going to have to accept him for who he is –all of him � even the part that may never know…�
If that���s not a warning I don’t know what is.
b) Marriage makes you one of those bitter, vindictive shrew of a woman who throws temper tantrums and ultimatums like its candy? I’m sure I’m supposed to feel sympathetic towards Lauren but even without the benefit of Cal’s perspective I can’t like her. I can’t like the clichéd woman scorned and neglected bit that she’s playing. Yes, you’re husband isn't around much and yes you don’t exactly know what he does but you knew all of this before you let him put a ring on it and you went through with it anyways. I also can’t stand the fact that she sees who she’s becoming, doesn't like it but is still behaving like its okay. It's not okay!
c) Lauren’s actions and thoughts make me cringe that she’s a woman. She has a degree and as far as I can tell has done nothing with it. She’s just content to sit at home twiddling her thumbs and when she’s no longer content she realizes, “hey, you’ve been gone quite a lot, I’m lonely,� and suddenly there is discontent within her marriage and Cal is at fault (It’s always the men’s fault ladies). Where are the friends she used to have? Why does it seem as if she’s a prisoner in her own home when no one is keeping her there? And what’s up with the unnecessary drama? If I were Cal, I’d leave the house too, instead of listening to her rant and rave at me. Use your words.
I don’t think Lauren’s character helps the story even though she’s supposed to be a critical part in finding out what his secret is. The author went about it all wrong and honestly, I feel so bad for Cal and I don’t even care what his secret is. I've come up with so many justified excuses as to what his secret is and why he can’t tell, and all because I feel like she’s being portrayed as unnaturally unreasonable (at least in my mind). And to be fair, if she knew what the secret was I could justify her cray cray but she doesn't and is still off the wall nuts.
I’m sure I’m supposed to hate Cal and call him a dick and jerk and all manner of unpleasant names but I sympathize with him. If he has to put up with her? Stiff drink please.
This book has quite a few supporting characters and they were really great, I wish we saw more of them. I feel like we got to know Angela better than Hillary and Raven I don't even know what her character's personality is supposed to be. Angela was the only semi-well rounded one. The main characters themselves, even Lauren’s archaic and insulting representation of women, are flat and one-dimensional. The only time I saw Cal as a person was when he beat up that one guy (valid reason). So, why are they together? They only seem to mesh sexually. No one and I repeat NO ONE should melt and lose all common sense over a heated look and a sizzling touch. Let’s be real people, love isn't supposed to make you a stupid lap dog (at least not for 3 solid years).
This book is really long, it seems to drag and after every page and new chapter I think to myself, “what can you possibly have to write about now? Just tell me the secret already!
The "secret" the plot twist, is brilliant. I can see why this book is being published. How the big reveal is done made me cringe *shake my head at Lauren* For some reason when I found out, I laughed and then I tried to wrap my head around it and then I felt a twinge of sympathy and sadness for Lauren, just a twinge.
I feel as if this story could have benefited as three parts. Part one, the flashback sequences. Part two, current events and Part three, 2 years into the future where everything comes to a climax and conclusion (that's just me). Clearly someone saw this way as better, it was more confusing than helpful, for me.
The idea the author had for this book is wonderful. The execution not so much. I would read it just to find out what the secret is though, that was worth it, it made everything that was confusing so much less confusing. Way to go Miss Moore, I so did not see that coming!
I guess what I’m trying to say is that as far as books go this wasn’t so great but as a new author Portia Moore shows great promise. I’d definitely pick up another book by her, especially if they have these throw me for a loop plots.
* If I Break was given to me in exchange for an honest review. I've never read anything by Portia Moore before and for my first time this book was and wasn't a good introduction into her writing.
Despite its failings the writing is well done and that in itself is enough for me to pick up another book by her, and give her another shot.
The execution of said writing however, is poorly done. There are flashback sequences when if done correctly can greatly effect the readers reading experience; flashbacks generally enhance the current story line. This did not.
Now with that being said, let’s get into the root of the story and my problems with it. a)What this book has to offer is the mundane dissatisfaction of entering a marriage not knowing who it is you’re marrying and failing to see the signs and ignoring the warnings of those around you.
“There’s going to be times where you won’t know what his problem is, but gor there to be any hope for you two to have a meaningful relationship, you need to have full acceptance of this. You’re going to have to accept him for who he is –all of him � even the part that may never know…�
If that���s not a warning I don’t know what is.
b) Marriage makes you one of those bitter, vindictive shrew of a woman who throws temper tantrums and ultimatums like its candy? I’m sure I’m supposed to feel sympathetic towards Lauren but even without the benefit of Cal’s perspective I can’t like her. I can’t like the clichéd woman scorned and neglected bit that she’s playing. Yes, you’re husband isn't around much and yes you don’t exactly know what he does but you knew all of this before you let him put a ring on it and you went through with it anyways. I also can’t stand the fact that she sees who she’s becoming, doesn't like it but is still behaving like its okay. It's not okay!
c) Lauren’s actions and thoughts make me cringe that she’s a woman. She has a degree and as far as I can tell has done nothing with it. She’s just content to sit at home twiddling her thumbs and when she’s no longer content she realizes, “hey, you’ve been gone quite a lot, I’m lonely,� and suddenly there is discontent within her marriage and Cal is at fault (It’s always the men’s fault ladies). Where are the friends she used to have? Why does it seem as if she’s a prisoner in her own home when no one is keeping her there? And what’s up with the unnecessary drama? If I were Cal, I’d leave the house too, instead of listening to her rant and rave at me. Use your words.
I don’t think Lauren’s character helps the story even though she’s supposed to be a critical part in finding out what his secret is. The author went about it all wrong and honestly, I feel so bad for Cal and I don’t even care what his secret is. I've come up with so many justified excuses as to what his secret is and why he can’t tell, and all because I feel like she’s being portrayed as unnaturally unreasonable (at least in my mind). And to be fair, if she knew what the secret was I could justify her cray cray but she doesn't and is still off the wall nuts.
I’m sure I’m supposed to hate Cal and call him a dick and jerk and all manner of unpleasant names but I sympathize with him. If he has to put up with her? Stiff drink please.
This book has quite a few supporting characters and they were really great, I wish we saw more of them. I feel like we got to know Angela better than Hillary and Raven I don't even know what her character's personality is supposed to be. Angela was the only semi-well rounded one. The main characters themselves, even Lauren’s archaic and insulting representation of women, are flat and one-dimensional. The only time I saw Cal as a person was when he beat up that one guy (valid reason). So, why are they together? They only seem to mesh sexually. No one and I repeat NO ONE should melt and lose all common sense over a heated look and a sizzling touch. Let’s be real people, love isn't supposed to make you a stupid lap dog (at least not for 3 solid years).
This book is really long, it seems to drag and after every page and new chapter I think to myself, “what can you possibly have to write about now? Just tell me the secret already!
The "secret" the plot twist, is brilliant. I can see why this book is being published. How the big reveal is done made me cringe *shake my head at Lauren* For some reason when I found out, I laughed and then I tried to wrap my head around it and then I felt a twinge of sympathy and sadness for Lauren, just a twinge.
I feel as if this story could have benefited as three parts. Part one, the flashback sequences. Part two, current events and Part three, 2 years into the future where everything comes to a climax and conclusion (that's just me). Clearly someone saw this way as better, it was more confusing than helpful, for me.
The idea the author had for this book is wonderful. The execution not so much. I would read it just to find out what the secret is though, that was worth it, it made everything that was confusing so much less confusing. Way to go Miss Moore, I so did not see that coming!
I guess what I’m trying to say is that as far as books go this wasn’t so great but as a new author Portia Moore shows great promise. I’d definitely pick up another book by her, especially if they have these throw me for a loop plots.
z-2014
January 7, 2016I read the blurb of #1 #1.5 and #2 and NOW I WANT ALL THESE THREE BOOKS LIKE FUCKING NOWWWW!!
BUT
It feels like 'Black Lies by Alessandra Torre' was written after reading the first book because
you'll get me? :O :O
Anywhooooo.... I can't wait for #2 to come out so I can start this series!! :D Sooo excited because this series story looks FUCKING FANTABULOUS.
BUT
It feels like 'Black Lies by Alessandra Torre' was written after reading the first book because
you'll get me? :O :O
Anywhooooo.... I can't wait for #2 to come out so I can start this series!! :D Sooo excited because this series story looks FUCKING FANTABULOUS.
June 12, 2014
Ummm...what just happened? I SERIOUSLY DID NOT SEE THAT ONE COMING.
At first, I was very hesitant to read this book, especially since its synopsis didn't really give out too many details about it. But, nevertheless, I still decided to give it a try. AND YES! After I started reading it, I just couldn't put it down! I blame this all on Cal! He was the sweetest thing ever--well, maybe, not the sweetest. Yes, okay, he was a jerk most of the time, and kind of arrogant. Plus, he didn't really live up to being the "best husband" and to his vows. BUT I believe that he really loved Lauren, and he was the best version of himself whenever he was with her.
I really liked the concept of this book, especially the "mystery" behind Cal. I kind of felt what Lauren was feeling whenever Cal left her in the dark about what he really was doing. I also hated how Cal would leave for days, weeks, maybe longer, and not even contact Lauren!! I hated him during those times. BUT WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT THE REAL REASON BEHIND IT!!! DEFINITELY NOT ME!!! THAT PLOT TWIST KILLED ME, OKAY!
I'm just....
Anyway, hoping for a sequel!
At first, I was very hesitant to read this book, especially since its synopsis didn't really give out too many details about it. But, nevertheless, I still decided to give it a try. AND YES! After I started reading it, I just couldn't put it down! I blame this all on Cal! He was the sweetest thing ever--well, maybe, not the sweetest. Yes, okay, he was a jerk most of the time, and kind of arrogant. Plus, he didn't really live up to being the "best husband" and to his vows. BUT I believe that he really loved Lauren, and he was the best version of himself whenever he was with her.
"You’re the one thing that belongs to me. The only pure thing I have is us. I used to have a different reason for being. It came from a dark place..."
"...My motivation changed when I fell in love with you. You’re my strength and my weakness. You’re the reason I fight to be here."
I really liked the concept of this book, especially the "mystery" behind Cal. I kind of felt what Lauren was feeling whenever Cal left her in the dark about what he really was doing. I also hated how Cal would leave for days, weeks, maybe longer, and not even contact Lauren!! I hated him during those times. BUT WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT THE REAL REASON BEHIND IT!!! DEFINITELY NOT ME!!! THAT PLOT TWIST KILLED ME, OKAY!
I'm just....
Anyway, hoping for a sequel!
November 19, 2014
4.5�
Or so they thought ...
A heartbreaking read of something I'd only recently read about, something similar, just done differently. A differently done in this story that I really, really loved.
Or so they thought ...
A heartbreaking read of something I'd only recently read about, something similar, just done differently. A differently done in this story that I really, really loved.
January 9, 2016
Actual rating: 2/5 split stars
This is a story with extremely intense feeling all the time and the way it weaved the plot was quite unique for me. The timelines were alternated; sometimes it talked about how the main characters(Cal/Chris and Lauren) met the first few times, and the next moment it jumped to their present lives, aka after the wedding. What combined those segments together was the mysterious and suspicious behavior from Cal.
In every chapter, the author gave you some hints about his past or how he acted at that certain time but she never revealed the truth hidden behind. So I kept feeling confused and a bit annoyed throughout the book, honestly. I kept asking myself "What's happening here? Why did he leave her like that? Without a proper explanation and simply disappeared from her life? Who was he really?" and I've been interested to figure it out in the beginning, but I think I lost interest when I didn't get the information I wanted after reading half the book.
Not until 80% of the novel did I FINALLY have the revelation I've looked for all along. And it disappointed me even more. I felt like being tricked this entire time from the second I turned the first page to the end. :( In my opinion, the plot wasn't good enough to intrigue me so I couldn't bring myself to enjoy it completely. Even though I managed toskip read 'til the last part of the story, everything was too unrealistic/shocking for me. ><
However, if we put the story aside and focus on the technique and research on the specific mental illness presented here, which is , then I admit I LOVE how the author portrayed this kind of people and their complicated mindset. It's rather brilliant to depict the deep and true emotion of this illness this way and I appreciate the further observation a lot.
**Give you a little clue about Cal:
Thus, my final rating is 1.5/5 stars(as shown above) for the story but 5/5 stars for the well-written descriptions on the mental illness.
This is a story with extremely intense feeling all the time and the way it weaved the plot was quite unique for me. The timelines were alternated; sometimes it talked about how the main characters(Cal/Chris and Lauren) met the first few times, and the next moment it jumped to their present lives, aka after the wedding. What combined those segments together was the mysterious and suspicious behavior from Cal.
In every chapter, the author gave you some hints about his past or how he acted at that certain time but she never revealed the truth hidden behind. So I kept feeling confused and a bit annoyed throughout the book, honestly. I kept asking myself "What's happening here? Why did he leave her like that? Without a proper explanation and simply disappeared from her life? Who was he really?" and I've been interested to figure it out in the beginning, but I think I lost interest when I didn't get the information I wanted after reading half the book.
Not until 80% of the novel did I FINALLY have the revelation I've looked for all along. And it disappointed me even more. I felt like being tricked this entire time from the second I turned the first page to the end. :( In my opinion, the plot wasn't good enough to intrigue me so I couldn't bring myself to enjoy it completely. Even though I managed to
However, if we put the story aside and focus on the technique and research on the specific mental illness presented here, which is , then I admit I LOVE how the author portrayed this kind of people and their complicated mindset. It's rather brilliant to depict the deep and true emotion of this illness this way and I appreciate the further observation a lot.
**Give you a little clue about Cal:
Thus, my final rating is 1.5/5 stars(as shown above) for the story but 5/5 stars for the well-written descriptions on the mental illness.
October 12, 2014
Omg!!! 3.75 stars
Spoilage to follow: I'm going to bitch but that's because this book made me feel for the characters. It pulled me in.
First this is frustrating and mind scrambling to read but I just could not stop. I cried for her and her lost love at the end. I just balled. I hate this whole scenario, just heartbreaking. Cal/? better figure this shit out in the next book because I want my HEA.
There is a big cliffy btw.
The book goes back and forth from past to present.
Told in her POV only.
Boy and girl meet, fall in lust fall in love, get married, he disappears for days at a time. She gets fed up after years of this. He's got a secret, a soul crushing one that can't be forgotten ever. I mean she has basically been catfished in person in a way.
He leaves her when she gets pregnant and never returns. 2 years later she finds 'him' and shit hits fan! That's a lot of spoilers but believe me I haven't told you anything! The real stench of it is just gut wrenching. I just felt my heart break for her! I wanted to hate him and I did a bit but I hated everyone else more for lying to both of them and keeping his secret from them both. Confused? Me too. But I better see this wrap up nicely and have them together ( and others gone) in the next book, because Lauren deserves happiness and he's the love of her life. I got a small sliver of hope at the end but who knows. Ugh, when is the next one out?????
Spoilage to follow: I'm going to bitch but that's because this book made me feel for the characters. It pulled me in.
First this is frustrating and mind scrambling to read but I just could not stop. I cried for her and her lost love at the end. I just balled. I hate this whole scenario, just heartbreaking. Cal/? better figure this shit out in the next book because I want my HEA.
There is a big cliffy btw.
The book goes back and forth from past to present.
Told in her POV only.
Boy and girl meet, fall in lust fall in love, get married, he disappears for days at a time. She gets fed up after years of this. He's got a secret, a soul crushing one that can't be forgotten ever. I mean she has basically been catfished in person in a way.
He leaves her when she gets pregnant and never returns. 2 years later she finds 'him' and shit hits fan! That's a lot of spoilers but believe me I haven't told you anything! The real stench of it is just gut wrenching. I just felt my heart break for her! I wanted to hate him and I did a bit but I hated everyone else more for lying to both of them and keeping his secret from them both. Confused? Me too. But I better see this wrap up nicely and have them together ( and others gone) in the next book, because Lauren deserves happiness and he's the love of her life. I got a small sliver of hope at the end but who knows. Ugh, when is the next one out?????
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 7, 2022
Ahhhhh no puedo creerlo que tremendo plow twist me metí, y ese cliffhanger al final WOW, sin duda que leeré la trilogía completa por que me muero por saber que mas ocurre con estos personajes que me atraparon desde el capitulo 1 🥹❤️�.
November 2, 2016
Great plot great twist.
FREE , >600 FIVE STAR REVIEWS.
free and >600 5 star reviews
FREE , >600 FIVE STAR REVIEWS.
free and >600 5 star reviews
November 16, 2022
Oh My Goodness. This book broke my heart into a million pieces. And I adored every single soul crushing word.
May 28, 2014
I read If I Break as a Beta reader and was pleasantly surprised. This book is the story of Lauren and Cal. Lauren, a once free-spirited, bright and upbeat girl falls for Cal, the handsome, rich business man. This book is about the battle that Lauren struggles with being alone and concerned with her new husband who travels often. What you don't know, is Cal has a secret. A secret that I am not sure he even knows about. How can their love survive something that defines their relationship?
I will admit, the start of the book did not grab my attention but I continued reading, giving it the benefit of the doubt. I am really glad that I did. The characters quickly grew on me, and I began to understand the viewpoints of Lauren. She was not a whiney girl who was dependant on her man. She was concerned and frustrated. Once Cal's "secret" is revealed, its easy to understand why she was so distraught.
It should be known from the start, that this book is written in flashbacks. Starting 18 months prior, and flashing back to 2011 when Cal and Lauren first met. I appreciated this writing style. I think the story would have been difficult to accurately describe by using only current time. Flashing back set the tone for their relationship and how things began to rapidly decline.
By the end of this book, I was hooked! I was an emotional wreck and the twists and turns that the author wrote were amazing. I have never read a book with a plot similar to this, and it was refreshing. No more of the bad boy MMA fighter. This book had heart and soul and a great twist :)
I highly recommend this book and give it a solid 4 star rating. I look forward to reading more from Portia Moore and am excited to read what is in store for these characters in the future.
I will admit, the start of the book did not grab my attention but I continued reading, giving it the benefit of the doubt. I am really glad that I did. The characters quickly grew on me, and I began to understand the viewpoints of Lauren. She was not a whiney girl who was dependant on her man. She was concerned and frustrated. Once Cal's "secret" is revealed, its easy to understand why she was so distraught.
It should be known from the start, that this book is written in flashbacks. Starting 18 months prior, and flashing back to 2011 when Cal and Lauren first met. I appreciated this writing style. I think the story would have been difficult to accurately describe by using only current time. Flashing back set the tone for their relationship and how things began to rapidly decline.
By the end of this book, I was hooked! I was an emotional wreck and the twists and turns that the author wrote were amazing. I have never read a book with a plot similar to this, and it was refreshing. No more of the bad boy MMA fighter. This book had heart and soul and a great twist :)
I highly recommend this book and give it a solid 4 star rating. I look forward to reading more from Portia Moore and am excited to read what is in store for these characters in the future.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 27, 2015
So, I have this book rec by
Akanksha� Søren�
and thank you so much for that, gurl!
I loved this book. It's been a while since I felt very fond of heroine character. And I TOTALLY LOVED LAUREN!
Lauren & Cal.L-U-S-T Love at the first sight. I love them. Their love make me giddy. Aww.. really though.
Cal is the mystery ever since the beginning. At first I thought he was some kind of mafia member, so that's why he's been so tight about himself and never share anything details to Lauren whenever he went on trip. Turned out he WASN'T.
It makes Lauren anxious and worry and eventually she started to think whether he cheated on her. WHO WOULDN'T? Your man never explain to you what his job doing exactly is, and he often go travel for business affair, so to speak. So, which woman won't feel the way Lauren's do...
Now, I suddenly stuck and Idk how to express my emotions when reading this book. Let me just explain it with GIFs..
I WENT FROM THIS..
TO THIS..
AND ENDED UP WITH THIS..
I loved this book. It's been a while since I felt very fond of heroine character. And I TOTALLY LOVED LAUREN!
Lauren & Cal.
Cal is the mystery ever since the beginning. At first I thought he was some kind of mafia member, so that's why he's been so tight about himself and never share anything details to Lauren whenever he went on trip. Turned out he WASN'T.
It makes Lauren anxious and worry and eventually she started to think whether he cheated on her. WHO WOULDN'T? Your man never explain to you what his job doing exactly is, and he often go travel for business affair, so to speak. So, which woman won't feel the way Lauren's do...
Now, I suddenly stuck and Idk how to express my emotions when reading this book. Let me just explain it with GIFs..
I WENT FROM THIS..
TO THIS..
AND ENDED UP WITH THIS..
September 25, 2018
Para disfrutar mejor esta serie es necesario a toda costa evitar spoilers, yo sin querer me entere de que iba la cosa ya que tengo la mala costumbre de leer todas las sinopsis de los libros que conformen una serie antes de empezar a leerla. El argumento no fue algo que no hubiera leído antes; aunque no es muy común, solo he leído un par de libros con esta temática, siendo el mas sobresaliente y uno de mis favoritos por sorprendente ese otro libro que menciono me gusto mucho mas, aunque las comparaciones son odiosas no pude evitar comparar, la narrativa de AT la autora de ese otro libro me parece mucho mas centrada, depurada, esa historia va mas al grano, se anda menos por las ramas y se resuelve en la cantidad justa de páginas, en cambio esta autora Portia Moore convirtió esto en una serie un poco larga; donde la menos por lo que leí en reseñas, sobra un libro. La historia en si es muy muy atrapante, te mantiene cautiva pegada a las páginas, me gustó e intrigo lo suficiente como para haber leído todos los libros; menos el ultimo que dicen que sobra y si lo creo, de un tirón.
January 14, 2015
5 stars
First of all, can I get a round of applause for the gorgeous cover?
When I started reading this book, I was ecstatic because it was my first actually eBook, not novella, and with over 600 pages, I also had a hard time wrapping around my (slightly small) brain how I was ever going to finish this. Then I remembered that City Of Heavenly Fire was over 600 pages and hell boring which, of course, made me worried about whether I was going to like this book or not. I've never particularly liked HUGE books, or ebooks for that matter, but this one. Portia Moore, you have made me one proud girl. Gosh, I feel like I've just had my first kiss all over again. The excitement, the nerves, but the wonder!
Does it make me a sad person comparing my first kiss to a book?Yes.
Let me start off with saying that this book was hot. It was intense, it was somewhat, slightly dark (well what I call dark in my head) and it was totally full of love and romance. I knew that I would like this book from the moment I started, and when I felt that I was getting even slightly bored or distracted, BAM I would be straight back into it without a moments hesitation. This is the line that got me hooked:
I read the blurb over again just to be sure that she is supposed to like him, but reading the first chapter, I didn't see much attraction or adoration coming from Lauren, other than the physical attraction (*wink wink*) until I got to the next chapter, when time is turned back to a couple of years before to explain this empty void in my brain about what is going on.
My emotions through this book:
In saying how much I love this book, which I sure as hell do, there was quite a lot of repetitiveness in the book. This is what went down while reading the repeating of many things:
Me: Oh his eyes are grey with green behind them. That sounds pretty.
Me: Oh he traces his name on your back. How cute.
Me: Okay, yep his eyes are still grey with green flecks. Good to know.
Me: He still traces his name on your back. Okay, I get it.
Me: I have been told about his eyes so many flipping times now. Get to the story now
Me: I DONT CARE ABOUT HIS INITIALS ANYMORE.
Me: WHO THE HELL HAS SO MANY DESCRIPTIONS ABOUT EYES FOR GODS SAKES.
However, overall I absolutely adored this book with all (well most.) of my heart, and will absolutely be reading the next book and novella. Yay! looking forward to that!
This book was given to me in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are completely my own
First of all, can I get a round of applause for the gorgeous cover?
When I started reading this book, I was ecstatic because it was my first actually eBook, not novella, and with over 600 pages, I also had a hard time wrapping around my (slightly small) brain how I was ever going to finish this. Then I remembered that City Of Heavenly Fire was over 600 pages and hell boring which, of course, made me worried about whether I was going to like this book or not. I've never particularly liked HUGE books, or ebooks for that matter, but this one. Portia Moore, you have made me one proud girl. Gosh, I feel like I've just had my first kiss all over again. The excitement, the nerves, but the wonder!
Does it make me a sad person comparing my first kiss to a book?
Let me start off with saying that this book was hot. It was intense, it was somewhat, slightly dark (well what I call dark in my head) and it was totally full of love and romance. I knew that I would like this book from the moment I started, and when I felt that I was getting even slightly bored or distracted, BAM I would be straight back into it without a moments hesitation. This is the line that got me hooked:
"Here he comes. My very own Prince Fucking Charming, Cal Scott."
I read the blurb over again just to be sure that she is supposed to like him, but reading the first chapter, I didn't see much attraction or adoration coming from Lauren, other than the physical attraction (*wink wink*) until I got to the next chapter, when time is turned back to a couple of years before to explain this empty void in my brain about what is going on.
My emotions through this book:
"Cal has been my gift and my curse."
"When I first met you, this was how I was. This is how I am, and I'm going to be like this tomorrow. You knew this when you met me."
"I want to slap him and kiss him all at once."
"I close my eyes and pretend I'm visiting an alternate reality where my husband is not my husband."
In saying how much I love this book, which I sure as hell do, there was quite a lot of repetitiveness in the book. This is what went down while reading the repeating of many things:
Me: Oh his eyes are grey with green behind them. That sounds pretty.
Me: Oh he traces his name on your back. How cute.
Me: Okay, yep his eyes are still grey with green flecks. Good to know.
Me: He still traces his name on your back. Okay, I get it.
Me: I have been told about his eyes so many flipping times now. Get to the story now
Me: I DONT CARE ABOUT HIS INITIALS ANYMORE.
Me: WHO THE HELL HAS SO MANY DESCRIPTIONS ABOUT EYES FOR GODS SAKES.
However, overall I absolutely adored this book with all (well most.) of my heart, and will absolutely be reading the next book and novella. Yay! looking forward to that!
This book was given to me in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are completely my own
February 7, 2018
I’m not even sure what to say but I’m gonna start with...this book posed me off something terrible but not only that it had me hooked and loving every single damn page. I was so mad reading through parts of it that I literally just wanted to reach in and gut punch both of the main characters, they were both being so stupid.
Then the story unfolds and the plot twist occurs and I’m left feeling empty, wtf? I’ve never read a book with this kind of storyline before but in the end I was totally understanding why Cal was so much of an ass to her. The storyline intrigued me and it was interesting to read about.
This is my first read from this author and although it irked me to no ends, I loved it just as much. I’ll definitely be reading more from her in the future.
Then the story unfolds and the plot twist occurs and I’m left feeling empty, wtf? I’ve never read a book with this kind of storyline before but in the end I was totally understanding why Cal was so much of an ass to her. The storyline intrigued me and it was interesting to read about.
This is my first read from this author and although it irked me to no ends, I loved it just as much. I’ll definitely be reading more from her in the future.
October 1, 2021
Free 1 Oct 2021 again/still
Free 12 August 2021:
Free 12 August 2021:
September 8, 2014
★★★★
4 OHMYGOSH Stars!
Complimentary copy received from the author via New Adult Book Club for an honest review
You know what I ask myself after I finished reading this?
"What the actual f*ck did I just put myself through?!" -- That's the first of many that comes to mind. Because, excuse my French, holy shit I so did not see that one coming!
There are books with stories that frustrates you so much you can't be bothered to finish it and then there are those stories that frustrates you so much that you want to stop reading but you can't, because the writing is so captivating and the flow grabs your attention that you just can't stop yourself from flipping through the pages. It's safe to say that I fell in the latter category.
"I love him, yes. I'm in love with him, no question about it; but it's a problem when I'm questioning if I love him more than myself, and whether he loves me at all."
If I Break is a story about love and how much you can deal with before you break. What was once a happy and loving relationship turned sour and cold for Lauren and Cal Scott. After a whirlwind romance, Lauren slowly learned that she might not have known Cal the way she think she did. Her love-induced brain saw Cal's mysterious and secretive personality as part of his charm and that one day he will eventually open up to her.
Wrong.
Nothing changed with Cal. If any, Lauren realized that she might have been blind and too in love to notice that Cal might be hiding something from her. What was once a part of his charm, now angers her. I'll admit I almost DNF-ed this because of how Cal was acting and how Lauren gives in too easily to him. Those times that she almost leaves him, I was hoping against all hope that she can stand by that decision but then she goes back and I want to smash her head in more than what I want to do with Cal!
"Even if it doesn't seem like it, always know how much I love you. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you�"
But like I said, have a way with her writing that it kept me hooked and I particularly enjoyed the going back and forth in time. It's always tricky writing flashbacks and making sure that the flow of the story will still go smoothly and not confuse the readers instead. Portia Moore succeeded with keeping the flow as fluid as possible and that added more to the thrill of Lauren and Cal's story. As frustrating as these two characters are in the beginning, I empathized with them more as the story progresses. I understood them more, still frustrating but at least I know there's more to them.
"Everything will be okay. I'll make sure it stays that way. I have to� even if I break."
I cannot go through writing this story without giving away spoilers and I don't want that. I want you all to have the full experience! It's worth it. It has been a couple of days after I've finished this and I am still stunned. Good stunned. And I cannot wait to know how the story goes from here!
Stars: 4 Stars!
Recommended to: Everyone who likes a good thought provoking story.
Series: Yes.
POV: First person. Female POV. Alternate past and present timeline.
EXTRA COMMENT: I NEED MORE!!!
4 OHMYGOSH Stars!
Complimentary copy received from the author via New Adult Book Club for an honest review
You know what I ask myself after I finished reading this?
"What the actual f*ck did I just put myself through?!" -- That's the first of many that comes to mind. Because, excuse my French, holy shit I so did not see that one coming!
There are books with stories that frustrates you so much you can't be bothered to finish it and then there are those stories that frustrates you so much that you want to stop reading but you can't, because the writing is so captivating and the flow grabs your attention that you just can't stop yourself from flipping through the pages. It's safe to say that I fell in the latter category.
"I love him, yes. I'm in love with him, no question about it; but it's a problem when I'm questioning if I love him more than myself, and whether he loves me at all."
If I Break is a story about love and how much you can deal with before you break. What was once a happy and loving relationship turned sour and cold for Lauren and Cal Scott. After a whirlwind romance, Lauren slowly learned that she might not have known Cal the way she think she did. Her love-induced brain saw Cal's mysterious and secretive personality as part of his charm and that one day he will eventually open up to her.
Wrong.
Nothing changed with Cal. If any, Lauren realized that she might have been blind and too in love to notice that Cal might be hiding something from her. What was once a part of his charm, now angers her. I'll admit I almost DNF-ed this because of how Cal was acting and how Lauren gives in too easily to him. Those times that she almost leaves him, I was hoping against all hope that she can stand by that decision but then she goes back and I want to smash her head in more than what I want to do with Cal!
"Even if it doesn't seem like it, always know how much I love you. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you�"
But like I said, have a way with her writing that it kept me hooked and I particularly enjoyed the going back and forth in time. It's always tricky writing flashbacks and making sure that the flow of the story will still go smoothly and not confuse the readers instead. Portia Moore succeeded with keeping the flow as fluid as possible and that added more to the thrill of Lauren and Cal's story. As frustrating as these two characters are in the beginning, I empathized with them more as the story progresses. I understood them more, still frustrating but at least I know there's more to them.
"Everything will be okay. I'll make sure it stays that way. I have to� even if I break."
I cannot go through writing this story without giving away spoilers and I don't want that. I want you all to have the full experience! It's worth it. It has been a couple of days after I've finished this and I am still stunned. Good stunned. And I cannot wait to know how the story goes from here!
Stars: 4 Stars!
Recommended to: Everyone who likes a good thought provoking story.
Series: Yes.
POV: First person. Female POV. Alternate past and present timeline.
EXTRA COMMENT: I NEED MORE!!!
February 9, 2016
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Wow, wow.... what the freak did I just read?!?! My head is spinning with a twist I TRULY did not see coming!!! A twist I would think I would only see on a daytime soap that I think would be over the top BUT for this story it WORKS. It totally works and I am still trying to wrap my head around what I just read.
The book written between past and present. We begin with Lauren and Cal married but very unhappily so. At least for Lauren. She has become the housewife whose husband is never home, leaves for days at a time without so much as a phone call. When he is home, he just wants to have sex. He doesn't want to talk. They live in the life of luxury but Lauren is unhappy. Every other chapter goes back to the past. From when Lauren & Cal first met, their first date, their first time, etc. You begin to see why Lauren fell in love with Cal. He has his moments and he sure of heck is a charmer. He is mysterious and as a reader you automatically sense he is hiding a secret. I had so many thoughts in my head on what it could be; and I was totally wrong!
The first 70% of the book does move at a slow pace, but I really loved it. It was slow but I appreciated the author wrote such detail on Lauren & Cal's relationship. It was SO important for the story to understand them as a couple and them as an individual. I loved the back and forth but truly I just wanted more of the present because I couldn't stand not knowing what Cal was hiding. It kept me up until 4 am to finish the book to find out. I read the entire book in one sitting. The end really comes quickly but it sure wasn't the end for Lauren and Cal.
I am still in total awe over this book. Portia Moore is a total genius and terrific author. I loved the characters and how complex not only the characters were but the story as well. She had me at every page and on my toes on what Cal's secret was. I cannot wait to finish this series and finally know the truth.
I give If I Break (If I Break #1) 4.5 Stars!
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