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Lesbian Crushes at School: A Diary on Growing Up Gay in the Eighties
In 1983 thirteen-year-old Natasha is in love with her French teacher, Miss Williams. When Natasha is cruelly banished from Miss Williams's class forever, the love develops into obsession ... stalking ... unhealthy behaviour ... and painfully misguided cries for attention.
This uncomfortable yet light-hearted memoir in diary form is primarily a record of obsession.
Natasha is a love-sick lesbian teenager in an all-girls school in the eighties, juggling her Latin homework, Bible study, a crush on Elaine Paige, and her suppressed sexuality. How can she make sense of it all?
But more importantly ... tormented by unrequited love ... how can Natasha make Miss Williams love her back? Take a sneaky peek inside ...
This uncomfortable yet light-hearted memoir in diary form is primarily a record of obsession.
Natasha is a love-sick lesbian teenager in an all-girls school in the eighties, juggling her Latin homework, Bible study, a crush on Elaine Paige, and her suppressed sexuality. How can she make sense of it all?
But more importantly ... tormented by unrequited love ... how can Natasha make Miss Williams love her back? Take a sneaky peek inside ...
- GenresLGBT
238 pages, Paperback
First published July 22, 2014
6 people are currently reading
60 people want to read
About the author
Natasha Holme
5Ìýbooks66ÌýfollowersProbably the most prolific diary writer in the history of the world, I have been obsessively recording my crushes on females since the age of fourteen. I currently clock up half a million words per year, but never let on to the woman I'm dating that I jot down everything she says and does.
I LOVED my all-girls public school. Apart from mercilessly hounding Miss Williams, with whom I fell in love at first sight at the age of twelve, I was a model pupil. In my early twenties I swapped my Latin homework for drug-taking and squatting.
Having sported an 'I LOVE MISS WILLIAMS' tattoo on my left wrist for eleven years, I finally tired of the inane questions it encouraged and got a cover-up in 1999.
I'm a list-writing geek and a drummer. I play table tennis and make my own beer. I am not a stalker anymore.
I LOVED my all-girls public school. Apart from mercilessly hounding Miss Williams, with whom I fell in love at first sight at the age of twelve, I was a model pupil. In my early twenties I swapped my Latin homework for drug-taking and squatting.
Having sported an 'I LOVE MISS WILLIAMS' tattoo on my left wrist for eleven years, I finally tired of the inane questions it encouraged and got a cover-up in 1999.
I'm a list-writing geek and a drummer. I play table tennis and make my own beer. I am not a stalker anymore.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
December 26, 2016
It's taken me a long time to finish reading this, which is not a comment on the quality of the writing. It's a diary, and I'd read , so there was no compulsion on my part to keep reading to find out what happened, because I already knew.
On compulsion... the author is obsessive-compulsive. These diary entries come from her handwritten (in code) edited diaries. They are stark, honest, often funny, sometimes disturbing, but ultimately a gift. There are readers who will identify with the author - we probably all do to an extent, because teenage crushes are rarely rational - and these words offer some consolation in knowing 'it wasn't just me'.
As the author's bio says, she was a model pupil at school- "Apart from mercilessly hounding Miss Williams, with whom I fell in love at first sight at the age of twelve" - and a gifted one:
She really is a genius when it comes to modern European languages, the learning of which she approaches with the same 'commitment' she does everything else, which is not limited to Miss Williams.
Whilst there is some physical/romantic attraction to boys, there is no sexual attraction, and the author identifies as lesbian (as per the book title), although really, there is only one love interest in this and the second book (which she released first) and the rest of her interpersonal relationships are chaotic.
All in all, I found this an interesting read, on both a personal and social scientific level. It's certainly a unique account of adolescence during an era when gender and sexual identities were in semi-disarray.
On compulsion... the author is obsessive-compulsive. These diary entries come from her handwritten (in code) edited diaries. They are stark, honest, often funny, sometimes disturbing, but ultimately a gift. There are readers who will identify with the author - we probably all do to an extent, because teenage crushes are rarely rational - and these words offer some consolation in knowing 'it wasn't just me'.
As the author's bio says, she was a model pupil at school- "Apart from mercilessly hounding Miss Williams, with whom I fell in love at first sight at the age of twelve" - and a gifted one:
Saw something on TV that claimed that obsession falls between love and insanity. That's genius.
She really is a genius when it comes to modern European languages, the learning of which she approaches with the same 'commitment' she does everything else, which is not limited to Miss Williams.
Kissing is my second favourite occupation in the world.
Third is listening to my favourite music.
First is looking at Miss Williams.
It was about the worst kiss I've ever had.
For a second I loved him.
Whilst there is some physical/romantic attraction to boys, there is no sexual attraction, and the author identifies as lesbian (as per the book title), although really, there is only one love interest in this and the second book (which she released first) and the rest of her interpersonal relationships are chaotic.
All in all, I found this an interesting read, on both a personal and social scientific level. It's certainly a unique account of adolescence during an era when gender and sexual identities were in semi-disarray.
August 10, 2014
Reading this book kept making me think how brave it was of the author to publish her childhood diaries. I'd be mortified at the thought of anyone reading some of the things I wrote down as a teenager. It was fascinating to be let in to the mind of someone else and I still can't decide if the author was confused about her sexuality or just a little in denial or maybe just didn't have the courage yet to accept it herself or perhaps none of these! There are often little things said or done that make me think she knows but it's more fun to not admit it yet and leave people guessing and gossiping.
This was a fantastic sequel, where the first book really opened my eyes this one filled in some of the questions and blanks that weren't covered in the first. If you haven't yet read then I recomment you start there and follow it up with . This is the order I read them in and found the later years (the first book published) to pack a real punch and then reading the earlier years afterwards filled out Natasha's background a bit more. Other readers may prefer to read them chronologically.
This was a fantastic sequel, where the first book really opened my eyes this one filled in some of the questions and blanks that weren't covered in the first. If you haven't yet read then I recomment you start there and follow it up with . This is the order I read them in and found the later years (the first book published) to pack a real punch and then reading the earlier years afterwards filled out Natasha's background a bit more. Other readers may prefer to read them chronologically.
October 17, 2014
This is the prequel to Natasha Holme's first published diary and I enjoyed it as much as I did that one.
At various turns it's an amusing, depressing, and interesting read. She is due to release another one sometime in the next few months and I'll be keeping a keen eye out for it!
At various turns it's an amusing, depressing, and interesting read. She is due to release another one sometime in the next few months and I'll be keeping a keen eye out for it!
January 9, 2016
WTF did I just read? This was a waste of 2 days. It had no ending. It just went on and on and then "the end". What?
September 19, 2014
It doesn't matter that it was the eighties or that my secondary school days are long behind me - I can still relate in many ways to Natasha's all consuming crush of her French teacher Miss Williams. Because let's face it, we never really get over that first teen infatuation.
However for Natasha her crush takes on a life of its own. What begins as harmless admiration verges on almost stalkerish obsession as Natasha's love of her school teacher soon starts to take over her life. (My crush not so much just tonnes of embarrassing moments.)
At the beginning Natasha is like any teen discovering herself and her own sexuality, and Miss Williams soon becomes the person and subject in which Natasha chooses to direct her frustrations and confusing feelings towards.
And like with many teen crushes Natasha probably reads more into Miss William's interactions with her as more than simple polite responses(which is again relatable).
The first few diary entries reflect how Natasha doesn't react well to no longer having Miss William's as her French teacher. So much so she does her best to get transferred which doesn't have much success.
However it's Natasha's dedication to continue her fantasy with Miss William's from studying extra languages for A levels(which is admirable) to deciding to pursue the same career as her and in turn applying for the exact same course in Miss William's previous university. This starts to raise questions about her behaviour and sexuality from school staff and her own peers.
Time and distance doesn't seem to quell Natasha's emotions for Miss Wiliams if anything it heightens them.
From attending school events to tattoos of Miss William's name, the reader is left gripped wondering how far Natasha will go to earn Miss Williams' attention and affections.
Lesbian crushes at School is the novel for anyone who has gone through the heartbreak of unrecopricated love but also the reality of growing up and making the frightening transition from the fun filled days of school to the confusing state of entering "adulthood" in university.
However for Natasha her crush takes on a life of its own. What begins as harmless admiration verges on almost stalkerish obsession as Natasha's love of her school teacher soon starts to take over her life. (My crush not so much just tonnes of embarrassing moments.)
At the beginning Natasha is like any teen discovering herself and her own sexuality, and Miss Williams soon becomes the person and subject in which Natasha chooses to direct her frustrations and confusing feelings towards.
And like with many teen crushes Natasha probably reads more into Miss William's interactions with her as more than simple polite responses(which is again relatable).
The first few diary entries reflect how Natasha doesn't react well to no longer having Miss William's as her French teacher. So much so she does her best to get transferred which doesn't have much success.
However it's Natasha's dedication to continue her fantasy with Miss William's from studying extra languages for A levels(which is admirable) to deciding to pursue the same career as her and in turn applying for the exact same course in Miss William's previous university. This starts to raise questions about her behaviour and sexuality from school staff and her own peers.
Time and distance doesn't seem to quell Natasha's emotions for Miss Wiliams if anything it heightens them.
From attending school events to tattoos of Miss William's name, the reader is left gripped wondering how far Natasha will go to earn Miss Williams' attention and affections.
Lesbian crushes at School is the novel for anyone who has gone through the heartbreak of unrecopricated love but also the reality of growing up and making the frightening transition from the fun filled days of school to the confusing state of entering "adulthood" in university.
February 19, 2016
I have mixed feelings about this book. Enough so that it distracted me from the book on my first readthrough. The problem for me was that Natasha set the bar so high with Lesbian Crushes & Bulimia that anything else would be a bit disappointing. And I guess it was, but I really enjoyed the book anyway.
Lesbian Crushes & Bulimia was a life changing book for me, the most relatable thing I've ever read and incredibly powerful as a result. One of the reasons Lesbian Crushes at School didn't match up was likely because the focus shifted away from Natasha's eating disorder. That is NOT the fault of the author and I would hate to put anyone off reading Lesbian Crushes at School because of it. One thing to be aware of is that these books DO read like the diaries of a young teen. Don't go into it expecting something so heavily edited by an "adult" mind that it reads like a grown woman reminiscing about being a teenager. It's one of the book's strongest points in my opinion, but some people might be put off by the unusual layout and writing style. The Kindle version is very cheap but if you're unsure, read a sample first. I was lucky enough to be sent a free copy in exchange for a (now long overdue) review.
I'll definitely keep reading anything Natasha writes and I'm always going to be a fan, even if this book didn't quite match up to Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia for me. It was a great read, and if anyone else is unsure of whether to read it due to the focus shifting away from disordered eating, I recommend that you do! It's well worth seeing how things took shape in the years before the events of the previous book, and finally "meeting" Miss Williams is unmissable - she was already so familiar that I felt like I was being introduced to a distant relative ;-)
Read this book. Read everything Natasha Holme puts out, because her honesty and authenticity is incredibly refreshing and valuable.
Lesbian Crushes & Bulimia was a life changing book for me, the most relatable thing I've ever read and incredibly powerful as a result. One of the reasons Lesbian Crushes at School didn't match up was likely because the focus shifted away from Natasha's eating disorder. That is NOT the fault of the author and I would hate to put anyone off reading Lesbian Crushes at School because of it. One thing to be aware of is that these books DO read like the diaries of a young teen. Don't go into it expecting something so heavily edited by an "adult" mind that it reads like a grown woman reminiscing about being a teenager. It's one of the book's strongest points in my opinion, but some people might be put off by the unusual layout and writing style. The Kindle version is very cheap but if you're unsure, read a sample first. I was lucky enough to be sent a free copy in exchange for a (now long overdue) review.
I'll definitely keep reading anything Natasha writes and I'm always going to be a fan, even if this book didn't quite match up to Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia for me. It was a great read, and if anyone else is unsure of whether to read it due to the focus shifting away from disordered eating, I recommend that you do! It's well worth seeing how things took shape in the years before the events of the previous book, and finally "meeting" Miss Williams is unmissable - she was already so familiar that I felt like I was being introduced to a distant relative ;-)
Read this book. Read everything Natasha Holme puts out, because her honesty and authenticity is incredibly refreshing and valuable.
August 28, 2014
The author kindly provided a copy of this book to read gratis. Thanks, Natasha!
I read Ms Holme's first book, about a year earlier, and what I said about the first book holds true about this one as well. Revealing someone's diaries is always a bit interesting.
Natasha's obsession with her teacher becomes more and more intense as she goes off to university. I do admit a bit of a disconnect with English school systems versus my own experience, which is my own lack of knowledge. Natasha's obsession with her teacher was of course the driving theme of this book. She even gets a tattoo with her teacher's name on it.
She moves from high school (My American is showing here, I'm not familiar with the English schooling system). I was amazed at how quick she picked up on foreign languages (part & parcel of her obsession with her teacher) as my own experience trying to learn multiple languages in high school was rough -- my school couldn't understand why I would want to do that. I'll admit I lived vicariously through Natasha during that segment.
I think my favorite thing about these diaries is how well she dates the book. Every once in a while she'd throw in what song was #1, or something about the Royal Family, and it just kind of gave it that 80s vibe. Otherwise, you kinda felt like she could have been a 90s kid like me.
I read Ms Holme's first book, about a year earlier, and what I said about the first book holds true about this one as well. Revealing someone's diaries is always a bit interesting.
Natasha's obsession with her teacher becomes more and more intense as she goes off to university. I do admit a bit of a disconnect with English school systems versus my own experience, which is my own lack of knowledge. Natasha's obsession with her teacher was of course the driving theme of this book. She even gets a tattoo with her teacher's name on it.
She moves from high school (My American is showing here, I'm not familiar with the English schooling system). I was amazed at how quick she picked up on foreign languages (part & parcel of her obsession with her teacher) as my own experience trying to learn multiple languages in high school was rough -- my school couldn't understand why I would want to do that. I'll admit I lived vicariously through Natasha during that segment.
I think my favorite thing about these diaries is how well she dates the book. Every once in a while she'd throw in what song was #1, or something about the Royal Family, and it just kind of gave it that 80s vibe. Otherwise, you kinda felt like she could have been a 90s kid like me.
October 14, 2014
I downloaded this book after reading the sequel to it which was recommended as one of my groups reading choices this month. I loved it so much that I couldn't wait to read the first book in the series.
I did like the book and I read it in one day as it really makes you want to read more and more. It helped explain a lot about the second book and about the famous 'Miss Williams'. It was very interesting to look into the mind of someone who is infatuated and has an obsessive nature. It was funny and sweet in parts and I really enjoyed reading it.
However, for me it did not compare to as I loved that book so much. Anybody reading this book will definitely enjoy it but after reading I would definitely say that you need to read the next book in the series.
I hope there will be more books released from this author, her honesty and bravery in letting the world see her life and showing it in a real sense is just amazing.
I did like the book and I read it in one day as it really makes you want to read more and more. It helped explain a lot about the second book and about the famous 'Miss Williams'. It was very interesting to look into the mind of someone who is infatuated and has an obsessive nature. It was funny and sweet in parts and I really enjoyed reading it.
However, for me it did not compare to as I loved that book so much. Anybody reading this book will definitely enjoy it but after reading I would definitely say that you need to read the next book in the series.
I hope there will be more books released from this author, her honesty and bravery in letting the world see her life and showing it in a real sense is just amazing.
February 3, 2015
I was given a copy of this book by the author in exchange for an honest review.
This book is written in diary form, which I generally like. At some points, I knew how the author felt. Most people have had a crush before and know how just seeing or talking to their crush can make them feel. The difference here is that the author has a crush on, and obsession with, her French teacher, Miss Williams. The extremes that she goes to worried me. She spent so much time and money on this woman who didn't love her back. It lasted years. I think that's the way obsession usually works though.
At one point the author gets her teachers name tattooed on herself. I think her family should've intervened at that point instead of ignoring it. I read this book with kind of a horrified fascination at the things she was doing.
Natasha mentions thinking other women were attractive and I kept hoping that if she dated someone it would help her get past her obsession. That didn't happen. She also started drinking more heavily. I was basically concerned about her well-being the entire time that I was reading.
I don't know that this is something I would recommend to someone.
This book is written in diary form, which I generally like. At some points, I knew how the author felt. Most people have had a crush before and know how just seeing or talking to their crush can make them feel. The difference here is that the author has a crush on, and obsession with, her French teacher, Miss Williams. The extremes that she goes to worried me. She spent so much time and money on this woman who didn't love her back. It lasted years. I think that's the way obsession usually works though.
At one point the author gets her teachers name tattooed on herself. I think her family should've intervened at that point instead of ignoring it. I read this book with kind of a horrified fascination at the things she was doing.
Natasha mentions thinking other women were attractive and I kept hoping that if she dated someone it would help her get past her obsession. That didn't happen. She also started drinking more heavily. I was basically concerned about her well-being the entire time that I was reading.
I don't know that this is something I would recommend to someone.
August 9, 2014
Holme's Lesbian Crushes at School is a delightful diary/story of Natasha's fantasy about her school French teacher. She is a typical teenager who lurches through life trying to settle on her sexuality whilst being obsessed with her teacher. She takes us through her life at school wanting to see then avoid her obsession. Then we see her at uni trying to fit in. All through it all she has excellent marks for language. One hopes she doesn't fall off the pedestal.
November 20, 2014
This book was very interesting and it gives you a great insight for goes through a girls head.
The writer has described the journey of the sexual identity in an amazing way.
It made me laugh and tear up and to be honest i felt bad for her . Am not gonna spoil any part of this book don't worry.
Mind that it's not a very light read but if you find the title at least bit interesting check it out cause it's worth it.
(I was send this book for review )
The writer has described the journey of the sexual identity in an amazing way.
It made me laugh and tear up and to be honest i felt bad for her . Am not gonna spoil any part of this book don't worry.
Mind that it's not a very light read but if you find the title at least bit interesting check it out cause it's worth it.
(I was send this book for review )
November 2, 2014
Lesbian Crushes at School: A Diary on Growing Up Gay in the Eighties
by Natasha Holme
Wow what a story. I give the author credit for her honesty and openness. I myself probably would have left out some embarrassing parts but she put it all out there, good for her! This book read very fluidly and I loved the format, I can't wait to read more about this young lady and her life!
by Natasha Holme
Wow what a story. I give the author credit for her honesty and openness. I myself probably would have left out some embarrassing parts but she put it all out there, good for her! This book read very fluidly and I loved the format, I can't wait to read more about this young lady and her life!
October 3, 2015
That was cute and funny and sad and HOLY SHIT SHE GOT HER NIPPLE AND HER LABIA PIERCED WITH A GUN AND I CAN'T STOP SQUIRMING IN SYMPATHETIC AGONY!!!!!
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