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321 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2005
"Don't fall in love with your dead husband, Kallista. It can bring you no joy."There are few emotions more painful than regret, more specifically, the regret of finally realizing that you love someone, only after they've left---or after they've died. How horrible must it be to realize that you can't tell someone you love them. To come face to face with your own self-absorbance, your own youthful folly, your inability to see beyond yourself to a great love that could have been? A great love that never was.
"I assumed him to be transparent, like most people I meet in society. Now instead I find that he was a scholar of sorts, a patron of museums, and a friend to artists. I thought he was a stupid hunter."Philip saw in her a phantom of delight. He was madly in love. He was wildly happy with their marriage, in the brief time that they were married. Emily hardly noticed. She hardly cared. She never knew.
I thought I would go mad with desire when she presented that perfect ivory cheek for me to kiss. Had her blasted mother the courtesy to leave us alone for even a moment, I would have taken the opportunity to fully explore every inch of her rosebud lips. For that, I am afraid, I shall have to wait.Call it the time of night, say that I was particularly susceptible and emotional, call it what you will, but I cried like a baby. It was 3 AM. I was going through some of my own relationship troubles, and this one passage made me sob. I put down my ebook, crawled underneath the covers, stifled my face with a pillow, and sobbed my heart out for a good 5 minutes. (It's still better than Forbidden, that book made me cry for at least 15.)
I closed the book and placed it on the table beside me. For a moment it felt as if I had been reading a particularly satisfactory novel in which the heroine had won the love of her hero. But I was the heroine, and the hero was dead, dead before I had even the remotest interest in him. I started to cry, softly at first, then with all-consuming sobs that I could hardly control.Emily wasn't the only one sobbing her heart out that night.
‘Few people would look kindly on my reasons for marrying Philip; neither love nor money nor his title induced me to accept his proposal. Yet, as I look across the spans of the Aegean Sea filling the view from my villa’s balcony, I cannot doubt that it was a surprisingly good decision.�
‘I armed myself with …Philip’s journal, resolved that a lively exchange of ideas about ancient Greece could be adequately replaced with reading my dear husband’s thoughts on the subject. …I sighted, flipping through pages until I came across a draft of an essay of sorts that he had written about the Iliad.
In it I found no mention of the things I loved about the poem: its humanity, its energy, the heroic ideals of its characters. Most unsettling to me was his excessive praise of Achilles. And in all pages of writing, Philip never once mentioned Hector, except as Achilles� enemy. How could he have overlooked Homer’s most human character?
…As I sat there, I slowly began to realize that my own opinions were quite different from those of my husband.�