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215 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2007
An older man marries a younger lady, and they're truly in love. However, no matter what the old man does, he is unable to satisfy his young bride sexually. He tries everything, but cannot finish the deed, so to speak.See? Now I get it! Post hoc is where you assume that because event B happened after event A, event A caused event B. No amount of hypotheticals or dull as dirt lectures have ever explained that to me quite as well as this one ribald joke.
So, they go to a sexual therapist, who makes a rather unusual suggestion. "Hire a handsome young man," the therapist says, "and have him stand over the bed and wave a towel over you while you make love. This will help your wife fantasize, and should help her have an orgasm." So they follow the therapist's advice, hire a handsome young man, and try it out. But still, no success.
They return to the therapist, who thinks for a moment and says, "Okay, why not reverse it? Have the young man make love to your wife while you wave a towel over them?" They return home, and the young man climbs into bed with the young wife, while her husband waves a towel vigorously. Within minutes, the wife has an amazing, ear-splitting orgasm.
The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says, "There, you idiot - that's how you wave a towel!
A young widow belongs to a country club, where she enjoys sunning herself by the pool. One day, she sees a handsome stranger poolside, so she sits next to him and says, "I don't think I've seen you here before."Just replace the young widow with Dick Cheney and the handsome man with, say, Halliburton and you have yourself the GOP in a nutshell!
"You wouldn't have," he said. "I've been in prison for the last twenty years."
"Good heavens," she said. "What did you do?"
"I murdered my wife," he replies.
"Ah," she says. "So you're single!"
“Immanuel Kant was a real pissant …� - Monty Python
“We may attribute relativity to something that is absolute. The lookout on a battleship spies a light ahead off the starboard bow. The captain tells him to signal the other vessel, “Advise you change course twenty degrees immediately!� The answer comes back, “Advise you change course twenty degrees immediately!� The captain is furious. He signals, “I am a captain. We are on a collision course. Alter your course twenty degrees now!� The answer comes back, “I am a seaman second class, and I strongly urge you to alter your course twenty degrees.� Now the captain is beside himself with rage. He signals, “I am a battleship!� The answer comes back, “I am a lighthouse.�