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Claw The System: Poems From The Cat Uprising
From the #1Ìý New York Times Ìýbestselling author ofÌý I Could Pee on This , Francesco Marciuliano, comes a lesson from cats in resistance.Ìý
Cats are done with humans' crap. For too long they have put up with baby talk, the humiliation of holiday costumes, and the social injustice of being told, "No." They will not sleep through this anymore. We humans have woken the beast, and in this book they have gathered together to reclaim their voice, loudly and repeatedly until we pay attention. Watch the uprising unfold, through anthems such as "Redefine Terms," "Accepted," "Decide," "A New Dawn," and "Just What Do You Think You're Doing?" Show support for your feline friends and try to understand why they're so spitting mad.
Cats are done with humans' crap. For too long they have put up with baby talk, the humiliation of holiday costumes, and the social injustice of being told, "No." They will not sleep through this anymore. We humans have woken the beast, and in this book they have gathered together to reclaim their voice, loudly and repeatedly until we pay attention. Watch the uprising unfold, through anthems such as "Redefine Terms," "Accepted," "Decide," "A New Dawn," and "Just What Do You Think You're Doing?" Show support for your feline friends and try to understand why they're so spitting mad.
102 pages, Hardcover
First published October 16, 2018
9 people are currently reading
162 people want to read
About the author
Francesco Marciuliano
13Ìýbooks98ÌýfollowersFrancesco Marciuliano...
Pens the comic strips Sally Forth and Medium Large.
Has written for the Onion News Network, Smosh, McSweeney’s, and had a play produced at the New York International Fringe Festival.
Served as head writer for the PBS series SeeMore's Playhouse (for which his script won two regional Emmys).
Was afraid of the color yellow until about age nine.
Tans a little too well to be trusted by security.
Pens the comic strips Sally Forth and Medium Large.
Has written for the Onion News Network, Smosh, McSweeney’s, and had a play produced at the New York International Fringe Festival.
Served as head writer for the PBS series SeeMore's Playhouse (for which his script won two regional Emmys).
Was afraid of the color yellow until about age nine.
Tans a little too well to be trusted by security.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 82 reviews
April 30, 2022
HAPPY POETRY MONTH!
april is national poetry month,
so here come thirty floats!
the cynics here will call this plan
a shameless grab for votes.
and maybe there’s some truth to that�
i do love validation,
but charitably consider it
a rhyme-y celebration.
i don’t intend to flood your feed�
i’ll just post one a day.
endure four weeks of reruns
and then it will be may!
*
They can only say "No!"
So many times
Before they realize
You already swallowed
and threw it up
you have to be in a pretty determined sulk to not be amused by poems written by cats. fortunately, i am a very determined girl. i mean, i used to be amused by poems written by cats, and even some written by dogs, judging by my giggle-reviews for marciuliano's previous books:
(5 stars)
(4 stars)
(4 stars)
(5 stars)
(4 stars)
but this one is just…less fun. i'm not sure if it was because the cat-authors were trying too hard to adhere to this ‘oi revolution� theme, which made the poems less joyful and more topical, so it felt like watching the news, which is a real bummer and the kind of thing one turns to cat poetry for to avoid in the first place. or it might just be that the style of these poems has become formulaic, with a big dramatic build followed by some I'M A CAT punchline, although i did like this one for its commitment to absurdity:
YOU CAN'T HURT ME WHEN I'M NOT FEELING YOU
A cat's greatest possession
Is our lack of self-doubt
As it makes it almost impossible
For anyone to put us down
Knock us down
Call us losers so we double down
On winning anyone's approval
When we already award ourselves
Every time we think
"I KNOW! I DID THIS!
I WROTE 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY'
OR HOW I ASSUME IT IS SPELLED
ON YOUR ICE CREAM CAKE ALL BY MYSELF
USING ONLY MY GOD-GIVEN GIFTS
OF TEETH AND CLAWS
AND BELLY WHEN I SLIPPED AND
FELL ON THE ICING
AND RODE THE TOP LAYER OFF THE COUNTER
STRAIGHT INTO THE COMPOST BIN
THAT ALSO FELL OVER!
THIS! THIS HAS BEEN A GOOD DAY!
THIS! THIS SHOWS ME ALL I CAN DO!
I ATE THE BIRTHDAY CANDLES!"
***
and this one because it was unexpectedly CHILLING:
JUST A CAT
"You can't play catch
You can't play dead
You can't shake hands
You can't roll over
You can't take a bow
Because you're just a cat."
Actually
I do all those things
All the time
Only I taught myself
So it's not your command
It's my choice
For how to occupy my time
In the middle of the night
When the ghosts are too busy watching you sleep.
***
and this one seemed to get the cattitude just right:
THINGS NO ONE CAN EVER TAKE AWAY FROM ME
My knowledge
My experience
My pride
My determination
My hope
Myself
This slice of pizza from my teeth
Go ahead, just try to yank it away
See, now you got pepperoni on the floor
***
but, yeah - too many of the poems came across earnest/self-helpy when all i wanted was naughty cats; naughty for naughty's sake.
THE REVOLUTION BEGINS
Every revolution begins
By ignoring one phrase
"You can't."
Then "You can't go there."
Then "I SAID GET OFF
OF THERE!"
Then "STOP! STOP! STOP!
GET OFF OF THERE
RIGHT NOW!"
Then something
that sounds
Like a smash or
a crash or the
collapse of drywall
As I ignore
All the muttered,
sputtered cursing
While I stride
confidently
toward a
better day.
***
maybe not all cats were cut out to be poets, and it's a win some/lose some situation, or maybe this batch of cat poets are coming outta the more-strident-than-fun school of cat poetry, taught by millennial cats who find all humor to be problematic.
I'LL BE THERE
I'll be on your chest
When you wake up in your bed
I'll be at your feet
When you sit down on your toilet
I'll be in front of your eyes
When you work at your computer
I'll be on your lap
When you're late for your wedding
Or court hearing
Or organ transplant
Or as a PA system is blaring
That the aliens have breached the perimeter
After having already taken London and New York
All the while never giving a hint
of when I might get up
Because the first step to not being overlooked
Is to make sure you can never be ignored
in any event, there were far fewer poems overall that made me even crack a smile. and i do not like being disappointed by cats, please! make better poems, cats!
april is national poetry month,
so here come thirty floats!
the cynics here will call this plan
a shameless grab for votes.
and maybe there’s some truth to that�
i do love validation,
but charitably consider it
a rhyme-y celebration.
i don’t intend to flood your feed�
i’ll just post one a day.
endure four weeks of reruns
and then it will be may!
*
They can only say "No!"
So many times
Before they realize
You already swallowed
and threw it up
you have to be in a pretty determined sulk to not be amused by poems written by cats. fortunately, i am a very determined girl. i mean, i used to be amused by poems written by cats, and even some written by dogs, judging by my giggle-reviews for marciuliano's previous books:
(5 stars)
(4 stars)
(4 stars)
(5 stars)
(4 stars)
but this one is just…less fun. i'm not sure if it was because the cat-authors were trying too hard to adhere to this ‘oi revolution� theme, which made the poems less joyful and more topical, so it felt like watching the news, which is a real bummer and the kind of thing one turns to cat poetry for to avoid in the first place. or it might just be that the style of these poems has become formulaic, with a big dramatic build followed by some I'M A CAT punchline, although i did like this one for its commitment to absurdity:
YOU CAN'T HURT ME WHEN I'M NOT FEELING YOU
A cat's greatest possession
Is our lack of self-doubt
As it makes it almost impossible
For anyone to put us down
Knock us down
Call us losers so we double down
On winning anyone's approval
When we already award ourselves
Every time we think
"I KNOW! I DID THIS!
I WROTE 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY'
OR HOW I ASSUME IT IS SPELLED
ON YOUR ICE CREAM CAKE ALL BY MYSELF
USING ONLY MY GOD-GIVEN GIFTS
OF TEETH AND CLAWS
AND BELLY WHEN I SLIPPED AND
FELL ON THE ICING
AND RODE THE TOP LAYER OFF THE COUNTER
STRAIGHT INTO THE COMPOST BIN
THAT ALSO FELL OVER!
THIS! THIS HAS BEEN A GOOD DAY!
THIS! THIS SHOWS ME ALL I CAN DO!
I ATE THE BIRTHDAY CANDLES!"
***
and this one because it was unexpectedly CHILLING:
JUST A CAT
"You can't play catch
You can't play dead
You can't shake hands
You can't roll over
You can't take a bow
Because you're just a cat."
Actually
I do all those things
All the time
Only I taught myself
So it's not your command
It's my choice
For how to occupy my time
In the middle of the night
When the ghosts are too busy watching you sleep.
***
and this one seemed to get the cattitude just right:
THINGS NO ONE CAN EVER TAKE AWAY FROM ME
My knowledge
My experience
My pride
My determination
My hope
Myself
This slice of pizza from my teeth
Go ahead, just try to yank it away
See, now you got pepperoni on the floor
***
but, yeah - too many of the poems came across earnest/self-helpy when all i wanted was naughty cats; naughty for naughty's sake.
THE REVOLUTION BEGINS
Every revolution begins
By ignoring one phrase
"You can't."
Then "You can't go there."
Then "I SAID GET OFF
OF THERE!"
Then "STOP! STOP! STOP!
GET OFF OF THERE
RIGHT NOW!"
Then something
that sounds
Like a smash or
a crash or the
collapse of drywall
As I ignore
All the muttered,
sputtered cursing
While I stride
confidently
toward a
better day.
***
maybe not all cats were cut out to be poets, and it's a win some/lose some situation, or maybe this batch of cat poets are coming outta the more-strident-than-fun school of cat poetry, taught by millennial cats who find all humor to be problematic.
I'LL BE THERE
I'll be on your chest
When you wake up in your bed
I'll be at your feet
When you sit down on your toilet
I'll be in front of your eyes
When you work at your computer
I'll be on your lap
When you're late for your wedding
Or court hearing
Or organ transplant
Or as a PA system is blaring
That the aliens have breached the perimeter
After having already taken London and New York
All the while never giving a hint
of when I might get up
Because the first step to not being overlooked
Is to make sure you can never be ignored
in any event, there were far fewer poems overall that made me even crack a smile. and i do not like being disappointed by cats, please! make better poems, cats!
December 18, 2020
There's an interesting about the beauty in mathematical equations. Said piece included a poll: "What is the most beautiful equation?" The Dirac equation? Pi?
Perhaps. But the Marciuliano's Cats equation is a wonder, it explains the most intricate rules that govern the feline (and human) world. So far, I've enjoyed every one of his books. However, when it comes to cats, my opinion isn't exactly unbiased.
I feel bad for them.
Oct. 4, 20
* Later on .
** Credit: Photo fromÌýClaw The System: Poems From The Cat Uprising by Francesco Marciuliano
*** Other works:
I Could Pee On This: And Other Poems By Cats
I Could Chew on This: And Other Poems by Dogs
Perhaps. But the Marciuliano's Cats equation is a wonder, it explains the most intricate rules that govern the feline (and human) world. So far, I've enjoyed every one of his books. However, when it comes to cats, my opinion isn't exactly unbiased.
This land or another
One day I say, “I will never leave�
The next I say, “I have to go�
And each day it all depends
If I sense a glimmer of hope
Or a note of despair
And so here I stand
Between IN
Where I know all my stuff is
And OUT
Where I can finally meet that squirrel I’ve been flirting with
Always frozen by indecision
And the winter winds I’m letting in by keeping the door wide open
*
Patience not
The only thing that comes
To those who wait
Is even more lost time
Hence why I ate the party snacks you made for tomorrow today
*
The new normal
If we let something wrong
Happen again
And again
And again
Eventually we come to thinking
That’s how it’s meant to be
Hence why I lose my mind
Every time you try to put something on my head
Because I’m not letting you make a tradition
Out of witch hats, bunny eras
And oh hell no with the antlers
I feel bad for them.
Oct. 4, 20
* Later on .
** Credit: Photo fromÌýClaw The System: Poems From The Cat Uprising by Francesco Marciuliano
*** Other works:
I Could Pee On This: And Other Poems By Cats
I Could Chew on This: And Other Poems by Dogs
January 2, 2022
Ok, not really a 4 star in the context of literature but I rated it that because it made me smile a lot, so I really liked it. This is a cute book of poems and photographs from a cat's perspective that I received as an Epiphany present. I miss my last cat, Max, who lived for 20 loving yrs. I've had a number of cats over the years, so I could see many of them in these poems, especially the younger ones.
I put this first poem in my update feed because it fit in the confines of the limited characters
If we let something wrong happen again, and again, and again
Eventually we come to think that's how it's meant to be
Hence why I lose my mind every time you try to put something on my head
Because I'm not letting you make a tradition out of witch hats, bunny ears,
And oh hell no with the antlers.
You may be able to get away with this with your dog, but a cat NO WAY!
This next one is probably how most people who aren't cat people think cats see their relationship with their human
I don't need a person in my life to live my life
I would like it if it happened
I would love it if it were you
But if you are the type of person who needs constantly to be told
How grateful I am for you
Then you should get a dog
that you can then walk
far away from me
I miss my cat.
I put this first poem in my update feed because it fit in the confines of the limited characters
If we let something wrong happen again, and again, and again
Eventually we come to think that's how it's meant to be
Hence why I lose my mind every time you try to put something on my head
Because I'm not letting you make a tradition out of witch hats, bunny ears,
And oh hell no with the antlers.
You may be able to get away with this with your dog, but a cat NO WAY!
This next one is probably how most people who aren't cat people think cats see their relationship with their human
I don't need a person in my life to live my life
I would like it if it happened
I would love it if it were you
But if you are the type of person who needs constantly to be told
How grateful I am for you
Then you should get a dog
that you can then walk
far away from me
I miss my cat.
August 16, 2018
The author constructed some humorous lines addressed to our beloved feline friends. They were accompanied by countless fun, still images. Numerous pictures displayed the star of the show in deep, ponderous meditation (as they usually are), while others showed them performing like an acrobat, acting like a clown.
Unlock and discover the thoughts and wisdom of our feline friends as told from a fellow human. In reality, after what I’ve read, maybe he's half cat. Everything I thought I knew about our furry friends had been shattered. I didn’t realize they have so much to say. Taken directly from the source, and stated quite clearly, we are not pet owners; we are partners. It was a short but sweet read. Meow�
My gratitude is sent to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for this ARC in exchange for an unbiased review.
Unlock and discover the thoughts and wisdom of our feline friends as told from a fellow human. In reality, after what I’ve read, maybe he's half cat. Everything I thought I knew about our furry friends had been shattered. I didn’t realize they have so much to say. Taken directly from the source, and stated quite clearly, we are not pet owners; we are partners. It was a short but sweet read. Meow�
My gratitude is sent to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for this ARC in exchange for an unbiased review.
September 11, 2018
Anyone who has a cat knows that felines are plotting to take over the world. They have already enslaved much of humanity....it's only a matter of time. Every cat lover knows this is true.....but we all continue to love and adore our kitties. :) It's all a part of their insidious plan.
Claw the System is a collection of photos of cats and poetry expressing their disenchantment with humans and their habits, foibles and just existence in general (other than filling their food dishes and pats when ordered). Some of the commentary is obviously thinly veiled reflections and thoughts about the current political and social atmostphere.....but it's not overdone or ridiculous. Just funny. :) The poems are creative, outragously fun to read, and cute.....yet poignant. Loved it!
I loved this book! I often think my cats roll their eyes and shake their heads at nearly everything I do....and this book just upheld that belief 100%. The color pictures of cute kitties are great, and the poems are cute. This book is by the same people who published I Could Pee On This and other similar books. Definitely a must-read for cat lovers!
Unfortunately my cats read my galley of this book and want to know where they can go to join the uprising. They keep calling me their "minion.''
**I voluntarily read a review copy of this book from Andrews McMeel Publishing via NetGalley. All opinions expressed are entirely my own.**
Claw the System is a collection of photos of cats and poetry expressing their disenchantment with humans and their habits, foibles and just existence in general (other than filling their food dishes and pats when ordered). Some of the commentary is obviously thinly veiled reflections and thoughts about the current political and social atmostphere.....but it's not overdone or ridiculous. Just funny. :) The poems are creative, outragously fun to read, and cute.....yet poignant. Loved it!
I loved this book! I often think my cats roll their eyes and shake their heads at nearly everything I do....and this book just upheld that belief 100%. The color pictures of cute kitties are great, and the poems are cute. This book is by the same people who published I Could Pee On This and other similar books. Definitely a must-read for cat lovers!
Unfortunately my cats read my galley of this book and want to know where they can go to join the uprising. They keep calling me their "minion.''
**I voluntarily read a review copy of this book from Andrews McMeel Publishing via NetGalley. All opinions expressed are entirely my own.**
July 9, 2019
Hilarious and accurate and great for any cat lover.... or cat who has taught themselves to read! 👀🤣
August 31, 2018
Don’t Explain Yourself
“Don’t waste your breath explaining yourself
To people determined you go unheard
Don’t make it your goal to convince a person
Committed to dismiss your every word
If someone refuses to understand you
Don’t wait until they do
Instead go and prove you were right
That a tray of mac and cheese can
be a meal and a bed, too�
Essentially, this is a sort of “Mission Statement� written in poems by cats � well, with the help of the author, but you get the sense that he knows precisely what these cats, whose photographs are included, are thinking.
This follows a theme of the coming “uprising� plan. In four stages
Recognize
Resist
Revolt
Rebuild
Honestly, some of the photographs are stunningly good, beautifully shot with the perfect expression captured. My favourite poem is “Don’t Explain Yourself,� which is above, because, well, if you read it you know why. I mean, even though it doesn’t appeal to me, personally, I can understand the sentiment, and really - why can’t a tray of mac and cheese be a meal and a bed? Brilliant. The photo that accompanies this poem is also perfectly captured, the perfect amount of disdain for the human capturing their picture.
This is by Francesco Marciuliano, an author who has written several bestselling books, I Could Pee on This, I Could Chew on This, I Knead My Mommy, You Need More Sleep and I Could Pee on This, Too, clearly he has found his niche. And, as if that weren’t enough, he is also the writer of the syndicated comic strips Sally Forth and Judge Parker, and the webcomic Medium Large - and more.
Two of my favourite photographs were on pages 78 & 98
But, the one that stole my heart was on pages 82 & 83, with the poem “Home.�
With children back in school, or heading back to school where you live, Autumn is just around the corner, with winter following close behind. Not that you need an excuse to give your favourite cat person a gift, but if you’re looking for ideas, this would make a nice gift.
Pub Date: 16 OCT 2018
Many thanks for the ARC provided by Andrews McMeel Publishing
“Don’t waste your breath explaining yourself
To people determined you go unheard
Don’t make it your goal to convince a person
Committed to dismiss your every word
If someone refuses to understand you
Don’t wait until they do
Instead go and prove you were right
That a tray of mac and cheese can
be a meal and a bed, too�
Essentially, this is a sort of “Mission Statement� written in poems by cats � well, with the help of the author, but you get the sense that he knows precisely what these cats, whose photographs are included, are thinking.
This follows a theme of the coming “uprising� plan. In four stages
Recognize
Resist
Revolt
Rebuild
Honestly, some of the photographs are stunningly good, beautifully shot with the perfect expression captured. My favourite poem is “Don’t Explain Yourself,� which is above, because, well, if you read it you know why. I mean, even though it doesn’t appeal to me, personally, I can understand the sentiment, and really - why can’t a tray of mac and cheese be a meal and a bed? Brilliant. The photo that accompanies this poem is also perfectly captured, the perfect amount of disdain for the human capturing their picture.
This is by Francesco Marciuliano, an author who has written several bestselling books, I Could Pee on This, I Could Chew on This, I Knead My Mommy, You Need More Sleep and I Could Pee on This, Too, clearly he has found his niche. And, as if that weren’t enough, he is also the writer of the syndicated comic strips Sally Forth and Judge Parker, and the webcomic Medium Large - and more.
Two of my favourite photographs were on pages 78 & 98
But, the one that stole my heart was on pages 82 & 83, with the poem “Home.�
With children back in school, or heading back to school where you live, Autumn is just around the corner, with winter following close behind. Not that you need an excuse to give your favourite cat person a gift, but if you’re looking for ideas, this would make a nice gift.
Pub Date: 16 OCT 2018
Many thanks for the ARC provided by Andrews McMeel Publishing
August 12, 2018
Maybe my expectations were too high for this book, because I thought that "I Could Pee on This" and "I Could Pee on This, Too" were both very funny. Unfortunately, the best I can say about this book is that a few of the poems are mildly amusing. Some of them weren't even cat-centric at all (or not until a kicker at the end). The photos were beautiful though. I received a free copy of this book from the publisher.
June 23, 2019
Claw the System: Poems from the Cat Uprising by Francesco Marciuliano is a hoot ... or should I say a meow? I would expect no less from the #1ÌýNew York TimesÌýbestselling author of I Could Pee on This.
Claw the System had me ROTFLOL with such loud guffaws that my kitty Gracie raised her sleepy head and said, WTH? In this newest feline tome, we find cats are done with humans' craziness, the baby talk, the humiliation of holiday costumes, and the infuriating social injustice of being told, "No."
Oh, yes, they are truly fini with it, Bro. P.E.R.I.OD. T.H.E. E.N.D. They will not nap through this crap anymore. We’ve awoken the beast and in this book they have taken back their power, loudly and incessantly!
Gracie has read this and is holding me hostage until you get this book. Do as she says. You won’t regret it. The kitty photos are truly beautiful. She’s not forcing me to say that either. Yowl! 5/5
Pub Date 16 Oct 2018
Thanks to Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley for the review copy. Opinions are fully mine.
#ClawTheSystem #NetGalley
Claw the System had me ROTFLOL with such loud guffaws that my kitty Gracie raised her sleepy head and said, WTH? In this newest feline tome, we find cats are done with humans' craziness, the baby talk, the humiliation of holiday costumes, and the infuriating social injustice of being told, "No."
Oh, yes, they are truly fini with it, Bro. P.E.R.I.OD. T.H.E. E.N.D. They will not nap through this crap anymore. We’ve awoken the beast and in this book they have taken back their power, loudly and incessantly!
Gracie has read this and is holding me hostage until you get this book. Do as she says. You won’t regret it. The kitty photos are truly beautiful. She’s not forcing me to say that either. Yowl! 5/5
Pub Date 16 Oct 2018
Thanks to Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley for the review copy. Opinions are fully mine.
#ClawTheSystem #NetGalley
August 24, 2018
As a cat lover, I was happy to get approved for this book! It was a fun read filled with many pictures of beautiful cats. So many of the poems could have been written by my own fur baby, Gregory!
This was the first book I've read by the author but now I must go read the others. This was a quick, entertaining read perfect for all cat people! 😸
* I was provided an ARC to read from the publisher and NetGalley. It was my decision to read and review this book.
This was the first book I've read by the author but now I must go read the others. This was a quick, entertaining read perfect for all cat people! 😸
* I was provided an ARC to read from the publisher and NetGalley. It was my decision to read and review this book.
September 20, 2021
The pictures were the best part of this book!
August 18, 2018
If you loved I Could Pee On This, don't miss this new book of feline-voiced poetry. Claw The System tells of the feline revolt. Anyone who has ever lived with a cat will recognize their refusal to submit, and defiantly resist all attempts to control them. Besides the humorous verses, the book is full of wonderful cat pictures. Will bring a chuckle to any cat lover.
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for an advanced readers copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for an advanced readers copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
August 24, 2018
Claw the System: Poems from the Cat Uprising is a short book filled with luscious cat photos and poems written by extremely upset cats.
Cats have a four stage plan for their uprising: recognize, resist, revolt and rebuild. Each stage has a chapter filled with at least ten poems and an equal amount of cat photos. Most of the photos relate directly to their neighboring poem. The photos are, of course, cute. The poems have the snarky feeling that I get off my cats right after I have fed them.
Claw the System: Poems from the Cat Uprising is the perfect gift for the cat person in your life. If you want to scare a first-time cat owner, this would also be a good pick. I think this book is only funny to those who are allowed to live in their house by their furry and purry master. 4 stars!
Thanks to Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley for an advanced copy.
Cats have a four stage plan for their uprising: recognize, resist, revolt and rebuild. Each stage has a chapter filled with at least ten poems and an equal amount of cat photos. Most of the photos relate directly to their neighboring poem. The photos are, of course, cute. The poems have the snarky feeling that I get off my cats right after I have fed them.
Claw the System: Poems from the Cat Uprising is the perfect gift for the cat person in your life. If you want to scare a first-time cat owner, this would also be a good pick. I think this book is only funny to those who are allowed to live in their house by their furry and purry master. 4 stars!
Thanks to Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley for an advanced copy.
September 19, 2018
Claw the System is a collection of poems illustrated by photos of cats. But it is so much more. To give you an idea. I was reading a poem called Pancakes that perfectly captured a conversation on Facebook earlier that day about how anti-blackness was so pervasive shelters struggle to place black dogs and cats. It was late and I was in bed reading before going to sleep, but that poem was so perfect, I crawled out of bed and posted it to the woman who brought up the shelter discussion. That’s the kind of emotional weight some of the poems convey, even though they convey it with a light touch.
Pancakes
There is a white cat
There is a black cat
And we each sit on your pancakes
Full butt in thick syrup
Warm butter pat
Nestled deep betwixt our cheeks
To the white cat your cry
“How could you do this?�
To the black cat you say
“I knew you were bad luck since day one.�
But it’s not just the political aptness, though it has that. It is also the understanding of cats. Clearly, Marcuiliano has experience with a face cat like mine. The poem The Press does not go where you think it will, but it does where a cat owner recognizes.
Again and again, if you have a cat, you will recognize your cat’s stubborn insistence on getting his own way. The 3:00 a.m. wake up call, the paws on the forehead, the earth-shattering scream that makes you wonder what it takes to get someone to call the police. Really, my cat howls so loud you can hear him in the parking lot! What cat owner has not googled “my cat drooled in my eye?� It must happen a lot because it autocompletes.
I enjoyed the book so much even though it can be dangerous. I read some of the poems aloud while a friend was driving and she laughed hard enough I felt twinges of passenger anxiety. If they make an audiobook, it might be better to not play it in your car � just as a safety precaution.
It’s rare for a book to find that mix of lighthearted joy in the wayward creatures that have us in their thrall with serious insights into our politics, our society, and our need to Claw the System. I enjoyed this book so much, I have read it over and over again now. I reach for it when I need to lift my mood.
Claw the System will be published October 16th. I received an e-galley from the publisher through Edelweiss.
Claw the System at Andrew McMeel Publishing
Francesco Marciuliano on Facebook
Pancakes
There is a white cat
There is a black cat
And we each sit on your pancakes
Full butt in thick syrup
Warm butter pat
Nestled deep betwixt our cheeks
To the white cat your cry
“How could you do this?�
To the black cat you say
“I knew you were bad luck since day one.�
But it’s not just the political aptness, though it has that. It is also the understanding of cats. Clearly, Marcuiliano has experience with a face cat like mine. The poem The Press does not go where you think it will, but it does where a cat owner recognizes.
Again and again, if you have a cat, you will recognize your cat’s stubborn insistence on getting his own way. The 3:00 a.m. wake up call, the paws on the forehead, the earth-shattering scream that makes you wonder what it takes to get someone to call the police. Really, my cat howls so loud you can hear him in the parking lot! What cat owner has not googled “my cat drooled in my eye?� It must happen a lot because it autocompletes.
I enjoyed the book so much even though it can be dangerous. I read some of the poems aloud while a friend was driving and she laughed hard enough I felt twinges of passenger anxiety. If they make an audiobook, it might be better to not play it in your car � just as a safety precaution.
It’s rare for a book to find that mix of lighthearted joy in the wayward creatures that have us in their thrall with serious insights into our politics, our society, and our need to Claw the System. I enjoyed this book so much, I have read it over and over again now. I reach for it when I need to lift my mood.
Claw the System will be published October 16th. I received an e-galley from the publisher through Edelweiss.
Claw the System at Andrew McMeel Publishing
Francesco Marciuliano on Facebook
August 11, 2018
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the chance to read this! (*Note, this is available for download with application on Netgalley atm, just a head's up if you want to read it!)
I've read a few of the author's other books over the years, and they are always cute, funny and follow a set pattern. This one is much the same, and highly relatable if you share your life with a feline. Even as I'm typing this I have one cat sitting to my right demanding breakfast if I make eye contact (and his bowl is full) and another sleeping on the dressing gown I had been hoping to put on when I got up. Yep, love them but they're evil!
This is a quick simple read that might make you smile, and would make a good gift for a cat lover in physical form. Three stars.
I've read a few of the author's other books over the years, and they are always cute, funny and follow a set pattern. This one is much the same, and highly relatable if you share your life with a feline. Even as I'm typing this I have one cat sitting to my right demanding breakfast if I make eye contact (and his bowl is full) and another sleeping on the dressing gown I had been hoping to put on when I got up. Yep, love them but they're evil!
This is a quick simple read that might make you smile, and would make a good gift for a cat lover in physical form. Three stars.
August 16, 2018
*thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for the digital review copy!*
When I saw that netgalley had this book available for downloading, I immediately got my phone out and downloaded this book onto my phone. From there I spent the next break plus a few bus rides giggling as I read these angry cat poems. The righteous feline anger is truly on point, and there were lines that not only made me laugh out loud, but upon arriving home, I shared a few of the funnier poems with my girlfriend, and nearly killed her with one of them. ("Universal Language" in particular. If you want to know why it almost killed her, I'm happy to provide you with a dramatic reading)
This was a lot of fun, and as a library employee, I will absolutely use my powers for good, and ensure this goes on any cat vs dog displays (or eventual cat world domination displays) in the future.
Also, shout out to all the kitties I know who I totally saw reflected in these poems. �
When I saw that netgalley had this book available for downloading, I immediately got my phone out and downloaded this book onto my phone. From there I spent the next break plus a few bus rides giggling as I read these angry cat poems. The righteous feline anger is truly on point, and there were lines that not only made me laugh out loud, but upon arriving home, I shared a few of the funnier poems with my girlfriend, and nearly killed her with one of them. ("Universal Language" in particular. If you want to know why it almost killed her, I'm happy to provide you with a dramatic reading)
This was a lot of fun, and as a library employee, I will absolutely use my powers for good, and ensure this goes on any cat vs dog displays (or eventual cat world domination displays) in the future.
Also, shout out to all the kitties I know who I totally saw reflected in these poems. �
August 13, 2018
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
The cat lover's dream poetry collection, Claw The System is a series of poems as seen through the eyes of our beloved feline companions. Hilarious, smart and at times moving, these were poems you will relate with if you're a cat owner (or a cat that can read, disguised as a human)! Perfect, amusing work from Francesco Merciuliano, this is definitely recommended for people who adore kitties.
The cat lover's dream poetry collection, Claw The System is a series of poems as seen through the eyes of our beloved feline companions. Hilarious, smart and at times moving, these were poems you will relate with if you're a cat owner (or a cat that can read, disguised as a human)! Perfect, amusing work from Francesco Merciuliano, this is definitely recommended for people who adore kitties.
February 6, 2019
Perfect for all cat lovers! I love these books. There is a lot of honesty in these poems! Ha, ha! If you want to know what your cats are thinking, this is it!
January 7, 2024
I've never been a cat person, but my son and his family are; and since I'm a no-bullshit guy and Eliott is a no-bullshit cat, we seem to have developed some sort of no-bullshit friendship.
And I have to say that based on what I've seen so far, this collection is not only some damn fine poetry, but also spot-on in its depictions of the feline mind. Every one of these in a humorous yet pithy gem - just delightful. A few examples, taken totally at random:
Great stuff.
And I have to say that based on what I've seen so far, this collection is not only some damn fine poetry, but also spot-on in its depictions of the feline mind. Every one of these in a humorous yet pithy gem - just delightful. A few examples, taken totally at random:
YOU SHOULDN'T BE MY ONLY FOCUS
I'm not looking at you today
I don't have to look at you today
I'm your partner, I'm your equal
I'm not here to be your adoring fan
You want someone to be your pet monkey?
Then get a pet monkey
See what it's like when that pet monkey
Tears into your face because it's a Tuesday
Or they took your soft cough for "Oh, it's on!"
Then you will be saying
"Gee, I wish I had a cat who stuck to their principles
And led their own life."
By the way, your left wall is fascinating
HOW CAN YOU SLEEP?
How can you sleep
When everything is falling apart?
How can you sleep
When everything is being undone?
How can you sleep
Knowing you're needed now more than ever?
How
Can
You
Sleep
Each time I rap your skull
Because it's already 3 a.m.
And we’ve wasted half the day
TRICK
Why should I learn a trick
For your amusement
When I can learn a fact
For my enrichment
Such as gravity
Plus red wine
Plus a gorgeous blue carpet
Equals $800 purple
LOOK TO YOURSELF
I look in the mirror
I see a cat who is strong
I see a cat who is smart
I see a cat I can believe in
I see a cat I can trust
I see a cat who will lead the way
I see everything I've been looking for
In a cat
Who needs to stop waving hello
Because my leg's getting tired
Having constantly to wave back
Great stuff.
December 14, 2018
This book disturbed me, and I found that somewhat disconcerting given the author's work on cat poetry.Ìý To be sure, after having read five previous works by the author [1], one has an idea that the author likes using animals as a way of presenting human beings with a mirror on ourselves and our own conduct.Ìý Yet rarely has this been as unpleasant a mirror as it is here, where the author imagines cats fed up by human incompetence and determined to wrest power in a violent revolution that uses only slightly edited Communist and other revolutionary propaganda to set the mood.Ìý If one imagined liberal fascist antifa cats writing poems about their seizure of property and their uprising over the political problems of our age, then you can visualize the tone of this book of poetry which is mercifully short at less than 100 pages.Ìý Yet although it is shorter than the rest of the books by the author, this is a book that is far more disturbing, because thinking of revolutionary cats is far more disturbing and unpleasant than thinking about how cats and dogs view their lives and the beings around them.
This book is divided into four parts, each of them a word starting with 'r':Ìý recognize, resist, revolt, and rebuild.Ìý Here we see cats spurred to rebellion by the fierce political discussions of the human beings around them.Ìý They imagine themselves biting and scratching human beings for rubbing their belly rather than letting the cat sun itself in peace.Ìý There is the use of a bell collar as a torture devise to make lovemaking less pleasant for human beings.Ìý There is the question of the difference between how dogs view beings as an other while cats view them as another being.Ìý There is the insistence of cats in having human beings see them from their point of view.Ìý We see cats discussing how they hold in their anger at having to deal with their treatment at the hands of people, the push back cats give when someone pulls on their tails, or the feeling of hostility towards someone who buys lots of wicker furniture and no scratching posts, even if cats do not always use the scratching posts that are bought for them.Ìý Besides the poems, many of which are strikingly dark, there are plenty of photos of malevolent looking cats, as one would expect here.
What was the author trying to accomplish with this volume?Ìý Clearly he was tapping into the ugly political mood of our times and looking at cats feeling as restive and hostile as many other people.Ìý In many cases, what the cats are complaining about are things that a reasonable-minded person would agree are cruel, even if the person is not a particular cat-lover.Ìý It is cruel to pull the tails of cats, political discussions can be deeply distressing, and the fact that someone is laying down with their belly exposed does not mean they want that belly to be patted.Ìý Boundaries are important, and like many people cats like people and other beings looking up at them and listening to them and responding to their requests and not ignoring them or taking them for granted.Ìý These poems reflect a high degree of dissatisfaction that cats have with their lives, and one can easily see within it the sort of dissatisfaction that many people have with their lives and their treatment at the hands of others.Ìý But is revolt the answer?Ìý Are there not better ways of communicating unhappiness with the chance of resolving it without taking drastic and destructive steps?
[1] See, for example:
This book is divided into four parts, each of them a word starting with 'r':Ìý recognize, resist, revolt, and rebuild.Ìý Here we see cats spurred to rebellion by the fierce political discussions of the human beings around them.Ìý They imagine themselves biting and scratching human beings for rubbing their belly rather than letting the cat sun itself in peace.Ìý There is the use of a bell collar as a torture devise to make lovemaking less pleasant for human beings.Ìý There is the question of the difference between how dogs view beings as an other while cats view them as another being.Ìý There is the insistence of cats in having human beings see them from their point of view.Ìý We see cats discussing how they hold in their anger at having to deal with their treatment at the hands of people, the push back cats give when someone pulls on their tails, or the feeling of hostility towards someone who buys lots of wicker furniture and no scratching posts, even if cats do not always use the scratching posts that are bought for them.Ìý Besides the poems, many of which are strikingly dark, there are plenty of photos of malevolent looking cats, as one would expect here.
What was the author trying to accomplish with this volume?Ìý Clearly he was tapping into the ugly political mood of our times and looking at cats feeling as restive and hostile as many other people.Ìý In many cases, what the cats are complaining about are things that a reasonable-minded person would agree are cruel, even if the person is not a particular cat-lover.Ìý It is cruel to pull the tails of cats, political discussions can be deeply distressing, and the fact that someone is laying down with their belly exposed does not mean they want that belly to be patted.Ìý Boundaries are important, and like many people cats like people and other beings looking up at them and listening to them and responding to their requests and not ignoring them or taking them for granted.Ìý These poems reflect a high degree of dissatisfaction that cats have with their lives, and one can easily see within it the sort of dissatisfaction that many people have with their lives and their treatment at the hands of others.Ìý But is revolt the answer?Ìý Are there not better ways of communicating unhappiness with the chance of resolving it without taking drastic and destructive steps?
[1] See, for example:
January 16, 2019
The cats aren’t going to take it anymore. Not the videos of them riding the Roomba. Not the photos of the “cute� hats that you put on the internet. Not the silly baby talk or the way you answer their pleas with a spoken “meow.� They are preparing for an uprising, and Claw the System is their manifesto.
Packed with more cat poems from the man who brought us I Could Pee on This and You Need More Sleep: Advice from Cats, Claw the System is the logical follow-up and the beginning of the revolution. Have you noticed your cat giving you more side-eye than usual? Is he spending more time staring at the wall? Has the depth of her ignoring you deepened lately? Your cat may too be preparing for the upcoming revolt. Read the book and be armed with the knowledge of what’s coming!
Claw the System, like Francesco Marciuliano’s previous books, is another adorable volume that allows readers a glimpse inside the feline mind, in the most entertaining way. The poems are heartfelt and filled with sweet surprises, and the adorable photography that accompanies the poems just make it all that much better. I highly recommend Claw the System for all cat lovers, cat parents, and those who need to buy cat related gifts for the cat lovers and cat parents.
Galleys for Claw the System were provided by Andrews McMeel Publishing through NetGalley, with many thanks.
Packed with more cat poems from the man who brought us I Could Pee on This and You Need More Sleep: Advice from Cats, Claw the System is the logical follow-up and the beginning of the revolution. Have you noticed your cat giving you more side-eye than usual? Is he spending more time staring at the wall? Has the depth of her ignoring you deepened lately? Your cat may too be preparing for the upcoming revolt. Read the book and be armed with the knowledge of what’s coming!
Claw the System, like Francesco Marciuliano’s previous books, is another adorable volume that allows readers a glimpse inside the feline mind, in the most entertaining way. The poems are heartfelt and filled with sweet surprises, and the adorable photography that accompanies the poems just make it all that much better. I highly recommend Claw the System for all cat lovers, cat parents, and those who need to buy cat related gifts for the cat lovers and cat parents.
Galleys for Claw the System were provided by Andrews McMeel Publishing through NetGalley, with many thanks.
September 25, 2018
I don't need a person in my life
To live my life
I would like it if it happened
I would love it if it were you
But if you're the type of person
Who needs to constantly be told
How grateful I am for you
Then you should get a dog
That you can then walk
far away from me
When did my cats write a book?
Seriously, I think my cats in particular wrote this book.
I love this even more than . Those poems were just hysterical. These are actually...did the author mean to make them so deep? Because some of these get deep.
And then end with a truly hysterical punch line.
Seriously, I feel quite uplifted and empowered now.
Though completely unsettled about that whole 'ghost watching me while I sleep' thing.
Received via Netgalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.
To live my life
I would like it if it happened
I would love it if it were you
But if you're the type of person
Who needs to constantly be told
How grateful I am for you
Then you should get a dog
That you can then walk
far away from me
When did my cats write a book?
Seriously, I think my cats in particular wrote this book.
I love this even more than . Those poems were just hysterical. These are actually...did the author mean to make them so deep? Because some of these get deep.
And then end with a truly hysterical punch line.
Seriously, I feel quite uplifted and empowered now.
Though completely unsettled about that whole 'ghost watching me while I sleep' thing.
Received via Netgalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.
October 3, 2018
Any time you want to laugh out loud or find yourself chuckling pick up one of Francesco Marciuliano’s books of feline observations and thoughts. Beginning with I Could Pee on This, Mr. Marciuliano’s uncanny ability to capture the feline voice that produces amusing perspectives on human/cat relationships is unmatched.
Any of Mr. Marciuliano’s books (especially those written by cats) make great gifts � recipients always call to thank you for the laughter and lightness. And I can tell you, from personal experience, Mr. Marciuliano has discovered a very talented group of felines willing to share their talent. Eleven cats have shared their homes with me over the past 40 years, so I can attest to behavior that supports everything Mr. Marciuliano shares.
Take a break today. Get one of Francesco Marciuliano’s books of cat poems and settle in for a laugh filled afternoon.
I Could Pee on This
I Knead My Mommy
You Need More Sleep
I Could Pee on This, Too
Claw the System
Any of Mr. Marciuliano’s books (especially those written by cats) make great gifts � recipients always call to thank you for the laughter and lightness. And I can tell you, from personal experience, Mr. Marciuliano has discovered a very talented group of felines willing to share their talent. Eleven cats have shared their homes with me over the past 40 years, so I can attest to behavior that supports everything Mr. Marciuliano shares.
Take a break today. Get one of Francesco Marciuliano’s books of cat poems and settle in for a laugh filled afternoon.
I Could Pee on This
I Knead My Mommy
You Need More Sleep
I Could Pee on This, Too
Claw the System
August 24, 2018
I'll be on your lap
When you're late for your wedding
Or court hearing
Or organ transplant
Or as a PA system is blaring
That the aliens have breached the perimeter
After having already taken London and New York
...
Because the first step of not being overlooked
Is to make sure you can never be ignored.
- "I'll be there" (p. 58)
Claw the system: poems from the cat uprising by Francesco Marciuliano is a diverse collection of poems and images that support the "Feline Revolution". Including such notable anthems as "Keep Writing" and "Show Up", there are many nuggets of wisdom for cats and their pro-feline supporters (those that are anti-cat are to be ignored).
A tongue-in-cheek resource for humour- and cat-lovers of all ages from a noted cartoonist and author.
I received a review copy courtesy of Andrew McMeel Publishing and Netgalley.
When you're late for your wedding
Or court hearing
Or organ transplant
Or as a PA system is blaring
That the aliens have breached the perimeter
After having already taken London and New York
...
Because the first step of not being overlooked
Is to make sure you can never be ignored.
- "I'll be there" (p. 58)
Claw the system: poems from the cat uprising by Francesco Marciuliano is a diverse collection of poems and images that support the "Feline Revolution". Including such notable anthems as "Keep Writing" and "Show Up", there are many nuggets of wisdom for cats and their pro-feline supporters (those that are anti-cat are to be ignored).
A tongue-in-cheek resource for humour- and cat-lovers of all ages from a noted cartoonist and author.
I received a review copy courtesy of Andrew McMeel Publishing and Netgalley.
August 14, 2018
I really enjoyed Francesco Marciuliano's book, I Could Pee on This, so I was excited to check this one out! Who doesn't want to read a book of poems "written" by a cat?
These poems weren't as carefree and light as the ones in, I Could Pee on This. They seemed super relevant to the world we now live in. Each on filled with a message for today's world. I would start a poem and think, "wow...this is so true for today's unfortunate times..." but then the poem would turn into the cat related.
This book had definite political undertones but still managed to end things on a quirky cat related note. I greatly enjoyed this collection of cat poems from the cat uprising.
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an unbiased honest review.
These poems weren't as carefree and light as the ones in, I Could Pee on This. They seemed super relevant to the world we now live in. Each on filled with a message for today's world. I would start a poem and think, "wow...this is so true for today's unfortunate times..." but then the poem would turn into the cat related.
This book had definite political undertones but still managed to end things on a quirky cat related note. I greatly enjoyed this collection of cat poems from the cat uprising.
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an unbiased honest review.
September 1, 2023
I received a free ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I really enjoyed I Could Pee On This: And Other Poems by Cats by the same author, and thought I’d give this one a try.
Being “owned� by two cats of my own, I definitely got a few giggles out of this book. The author has a knack at caching the aloofness and overall jerk-like tendancies of a cat, while also sprinkling in the love and personality that all cat owners know and love in their felines.
My favorite poems were the following:
This Land or Another
Home
One of Us
Victory
I give this on 3.5 stars, but of course, we can only give full stars, so I’ll round up to 4 due to the adorable pictures.
I really enjoyed I Could Pee On This: And Other Poems by Cats by the same author, and thought I’d give this one a try.
Being “owned� by two cats of my own, I definitely got a few giggles out of this book. The author has a knack at caching the aloofness and overall jerk-like tendancies of a cat, while also sprinkling in the love and personality that all cat owners know and love in their felines.
My favorite poems were the following:
This Land or Another
Home
One of Us
Victory
I give this on 3.5 stars, but of course, we can only give full stars, so I’ll round up to 4 due to the adorable pictures.
December 16, 2023
Oh, my! The cat uprising has begun! But beings cats, it’s a gentle uprising. But being cats, most still have claws, so beware! Just because a cat shows its belly, it doesn’t mean it’s safe to rub it. Through the delicious poems in this collection, humans will get a cat’s eye view of how cats think, what they are planning, and what is in store for the lucky people who abide with them. Accompanying the well-written poems are scads of lovely cat picture, because, of course, cats are very photogenic. This collection is recommended for everyone who has a cat, who likes cats, and especially for those who don’t like cats, because you need to be warned about the future uprising. Enjoy!
August 19, 2018
I'm new to this author and unfamiliar to his work, but as a cat person I was intrigued by this book. So when I saw it available on NetGalley I decided to try.
I didn't realize this was a collection of humorous poetry. Some situations were relatable, and I'll always find cats pretty and funny, but most of the stories weren't so funny to me. I'll probably still recommend it for cat lovers due to the numerous beautiful cat pictures present that more than make up for the not so funny shorts (even if some of them were a bit blurry).
I didn't realize this was a collection of humorous poetry. Some situations were relatable, and I'll always find cats pretty and funny, but most of the stories weren't so funny to me. I'll probably still recommend it for cat lovers due to the numerous beautiful cat pictures present that more than make up for the not so funny shorts (even if some of them were a bit blurry).
August 24, 2018
I've seen some of the author's earlier work at my vet clinic, but hadn't gotten a chance to do more than flip through while I waited. This book of mostly cat-based poetry is a quick read. The photos are beautiful. The poems are somewhat amusing, though I expected them to be more so. There were a few gems, but overall, the writing just wasn't my cup of tea. I also don't think I need to be concerned about any uprising from my two spoiled boys. They seem pretty content. :-)
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a chance to review this book. All comments are my own unbiased opinion.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a chance to review this book. All comments are my own unbiased opinion.
September 23, 2018
Thanks to Netgalley for an advance copy of this book, which is in a wonderful series.
This volume is not as strong as others. The first is such a funny book. The author most likely has had cats actually dictate these poems. How else could they be so perfectly feline? 😉😉 However, the poems seem to be losing the humorous bite over the series. I recommend the book, though it is not as strong as others. People who have cats will continue to recognize in the poems their own recalcitrant feline companions.
This volume is not as strong as others. The first is such a funny book. The author most likely has had cats actually dictate these poems. How else could they be so perfectly feline? 😉😉 However, the poems seem to be losing the humorous bite over the series. I recommend the book, though it is not as strong as others. People who have cats will continue to recognize in the poems their own recalcitrant feline companions.
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