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UFO #7
Unidentified Funny Objects 7
SCIENCE FICTION, FANTASY, HUMOR The Unidentified Funny Objects series delivers an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices!
* A long time ago in a galaxy close enough not to violate any copyrights, the clone army fighting for the side of the evil empire is made up of a bunch of bros named Chad.
* Can a couple of wise guys from New Jersey broker a sit down between two groups of warring aliens?
* Witness an epic battle of mad science vs. dark magic.
* US presidents elected in 1860 and 1960 were both assassinated. What's going to happen to whoever's elected in 2060?
* Beware the dragon polite enough to return your drone after it breached the barriers between worlds and bonked him on the snout.
* A long time ago in a galaxy close enough not to violate any copyrights, the clone army fighting for the side of the evil empire is made up of a bunch of bros named Chad.
* Can a couple of wise guys from New Jersey broker a sit down between two groups of warring aliens?
* Witness an epic battle of mad science vs. dark magic.
* US presidents elected in 1860 and 1960 were both assassinated. What's going to happen to whoever's elected in 2060?
* Beware the dragon polite enough to return your drone after it breached the barriers between worlds and bonked him on the snout.
288 pages, Paperback
First published September 18, 2018
45 people are currently reading
80 people want to read
About the author
Alex Shvartsman
156Ìýbooks143ÌýfollowersAlex Shvartsman is a writer, editor, and translator from Brooklyn, NY. He's the author of The Middling Affliction (2022) and Eridani's Crown (2019) fantasy novels. Kakistocracy, a sequel to The Middling Affliction, is forthcoming in 2023.
Over 120 of his stories have been published in Analog, Nature, Strange Horizons, and many other venues. He won the 2014 WSFA Small Press Award for Short Fiction and was a two-time finalist (2015 and 2017) for the Canopus Award for Excellence in Interstellar Fiction.
His collection, Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma and Other Stories and his steampunk humor novella H. G. Wells, Secret Agent were published in 2015. His second collection, The Golem of Deneb Seven and Other Stories followed in 2018.
Alex is the editor of over a dozen anthologies, including the Unidentified Funny Objects annual anthology series of humorous SF/F.
Over 120 of his stories have been published in Analog, Nature, Strange Horizons, and many other venues. He won the 2014 WSFA Small Press Award for Short Fiction and was a two-time finalist (2015 and 2017) for the Canopus Award for Excellence in Interstellar Fiction.
His collection, Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma and Other Stories and his steampunk humor novella H. G. Wells, Secret Agent were published in 2015. His second collection, The Golem of Deneb Seven and Other Stories followed in 2018.
Alex is the editor of over a dozen anthologies, including the Unidentified Funny Objects annual anthology series of humorous SF/F.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
July 11, 2020
A collection of humorous science fiction stories. Most of them are meh. One or two are pretty good.
October 28, 2018
Full disclaimer, I have a story in this book, but I don't know any of the other authors beyond a passing acquaintance and am trying to be as un-biased as is possible.
Individual reviews of the stories is easier for me than trying to review the book as a whole, though I do have to say I would have loved more diversity in the characters. Not a ton of queer, disabled, or people of color.
THE DRAGON, THE DRUDGE, AND THE DRONE by Esther Friesner
Cute and fun. Not the funniest piece in the book but very nice.
CHAD VERSUS THE REBEL ALLIANCE by Shane Halbach
What if you took Star Wars and replaced the clone army with Jason from The Good Place? HILARITY, THAT'S WHAT.
THE SECRET DESTINY OF HEROES by Matthew Bailey
Stopped reading after the phrase "crippled horror." My body is not a horror, and I'm sure the author didn't mean it in an ableist way, but I don't make myself read something that makes me unwelcome.
OLD SCHOOL: AN ORAL HISTORY OF CAPTAIN DICK CHASE by Val Nolan
I'm sure I missed a ton of nerd references but the ones I caught were amazing. Nice to see a story call out ableist slurs, too.
TAKE MEME TO YOUR LEADER by Jennifer Lee Rossman
Not going to review my story but I used some swear words in it, so that was fun.
CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATIONS by C. Flynt
Legal procedural! I need this story to be a sitcom.
BIMBLE BIMBLE BOP BOP! by Richard Anderson
I can't even explain this one but it's hilarious.
THE SIT DOWN by Laura Resnick
Aliens crash on Earth, and it's up to two mobsters to stop a war. And it's amazing. I've known people like this, and the voice is superb.
THE EBONY EGG by David Vierling
I'm not a huge fan of noir mysteries so my interest wandered a bit, but it's properly amusing.
THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN by Greg Sisco
It's funny, yes, but this story's strength is not its humor. It's the Twilight Zonian way it plays with the us vs. them mob mentality. I think there's a tendency to play down a humorous story as just being silly fun, nothing of substance. Well. Here be substance.
FALLING’S FREE, GRAVITY COSTS by Seanan McGuire
You know I love a space carnival, especially one with a genetically engineered leader.
MISSION LOG NUPTIALS by Langley Hyde
At first, the "I'm going to woo and marry this girl within the week" gave me a creepster vibe, but it's quickly explained that the love interest's species can fall in love but do not date, so it's less about convincing her to love you and more about convincing her you're worthy of lifelong commitment. And it's so sweet.
QUICK CASH IN THE OLD KINGDOM by Elin Korund
I didn't find this one particularly hilarious, but it was just a really enjoyable story.
KEY FANG AND KLAW by Fred Stesney
There's a giant robot... and its name... is Kevin. Need I say more?
THE VAMPIRE’S APPRENTICE by Gini Koch
I adored this one. Poor boy is so oblivious that his boss is Dracula.
THE ASSASSINATION OF 2063 by David Vaughan
Amazing. Full of little historical references and just ridiculous enough to be silly, but not too silly. And that twist.
DETHRONING THE CHAMPEEN by Mike Resnick
I didn't read this one. The main character irritated me and the humor struck me as "aren't these foreigners so wacky and backwards?" Maybe it got better but it was a really long story and I didn't feel like sticking it out.
SPEAR CARRIERS� UNION #109 by Jamie Gilman Kress
I giggled all through this meta take on high school chosen one adventures.
THE FERMI LONELINESS PROBLEM by Beth Goder
Almost felt Douglas Adams-esque.
THREE WAYS TO LEAVE HAWAII by Zach Shephard
I didn't find this one hilarious (maybe the slapsticky bits would work better in a visual medium?) but a fun adventure.
Individual reviews of the stories is easier for me than trying to review the book as a whole, though I do have to say I would have loved more diversity in the characters. Not a ton of queer, disabled, or people of color.
THE DRAGON, THE DRUDGE, AND THE DRONE by Esther Friesner
Cute and fun. Not the funniest piece in the book but very nice.
CHAD VERSUS THE REBEL ALLIANCE by Shane Halbach
What if you took Star Wars and replaced the clone army with Jason from The Good Place? HILARITY, THAT'S WHAT.
THE SECRET DESTINY OF HEROES by Matthew Bailey
Stopped reading after the phrase "crippled horror." My body is not a horror, and I'm sure the author didn't mean it in an ableist way, but I don't make myself read something that makes me unwelcome.
OLD SCHOOL: AN ORAL HISTORY OF CAPTAIN DICK CHASE by Val Nolan
I'm sure I missed a ton of nerd references but the ones I caught were amazing. Nice to see a story call out ableist slurs, too.
TAKE MEME TO YOUR LEADER by Jennifer Lee Rossman
Not going to review my story but I used some swear words in it, so that was fun.
CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATIONS by C. Flynt
Legal procedural! I need this story to be a sitcom.
BIMBLE BIMBLE BOP BOP! by Richard Anderson
I can't even explain this one but it's hilarious.
THE SIT DOWN by Laura Resnick
Aliens crash on Earth, and it's up to two mobsters to stop a war. And it's amazing. I've known people like this, and the voice is superb.
THE EBONY EGG by David Vierling
I'm not a huge fan of noir mysteries so my interest wandered a bit, but it's properly amusing.
THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN by Greg Sisco
It's funny, yes, but this story's strength is not its humor. It's the Twilight Zonian way it plays with the us vs. them mob mentality. I think there's a tendency to play down a humorous story as just being silly fun, nothing of substance. Well. Here be substance.
FALLING’S FREE, GRAVITY COSTS by Seanan McGuire
You know I love a space carnival, especially one with a genetically engineered leader.
MISSION LOG NUPTIALS by Langley Hyde
At first, the "I'm going to woo and marry this girl within the week" gave me a creepster vibe, but it's quickly explained that the love interest's species can fall in love but do not date, so it's less about convincing her to love you and more about convincing her you're worthy of lifelong commitment. And it's so sweet.
QUICK CASH IN THE OLD KINGDOM by Elin Korund
I didn't find this one particularly hilarious, but it was just a really enjoyable story.
KEY FANG AND KLAW by Fred Stesney
There's a giant robot... and its name... is Kevin. Need I say more?
THE VAMPIRE’S APPRENTICE by Gini Koch
I adored this one. Poor boy is so oblivious that his boss is Dracula.
THE ASSASSINATION OF 2063 by David Vaughan
Amazing. Full of little historical references and just ridiculous enough to be silly, but not too silly. And that twist.
DETHRONING THE CHAMPEEN by Mike Resnick
I didn't read this one. The main character irritated me and the humor struck me as "aren't these foreigners so wacky and backwards?" Maybe it got better but it was a really long story and I didn't feel like sticking it out.
SPEAR CARRIERS� UNION #109 by Jamie Gilman Kress
I giggled all through this meta take on high school chosen one adventures.
THE FERMI LONELINESS PROBLEM by Beth Goder
Almost felt Douglas Adams-esque.
THREE WAYS TO LEAVE HAWAII by Zach Shephard
I didn't find this one hilarious (maybe the slapsticky bits would work better in a visual medium?) but a fun adventure.
November 3, 2018
(Full disclosure: I was a backer for this on Kickstarter.)
A pretty solid anthology of humorous SF/fantasy stories. My favorites were "Chad vs. the Rebel Alliance" (what if the stormtroopers were all dudebros?), "Old School: An Oral History of Captain Dick Chase" (how would a Captain Kirk/Zap Brannigan type fare in a more progressive future?), "Take Meme to Your Leader" (though I admit the story won't age well), "The Sit Down" (gangsters and aliens), "Mission Log Nuptials" (the travails of human-alien romance), "Quick Cash in the Old Kingdom" (a fun fantasy story about graverobbing), and "The Assassination of 2063" (fun extrapolation of 1863 and 1963's presidential patterns in a post-apocalyptic future). I also liked "Spear Carriers' Union #109", but the story ended too soon, and would have benefited from a longer treatment.
There were a few disappointments, though: "The Ebony Egg" copied too much from the actual plot of The Maltese Falcon, and "Dethroning the Champeen" was neither SF nor fantasy and felt out of place (though I suppose it might have been alternate history?). I also liked the concept of "Three Ways to Leave Hawaii" more than the execution. An entertaining and worthwhile read. (B+)
A pretty solid anthology of humorous SF/fantasy stories. My favorites were "Chad vs. the Rebel Alliance" (what if the stormtroopers were all dudebros?), "Old School: An Oral History of Captain Dick Chase" (how would a Captain Kirk/Zap Brannigan type fare in a more progressive future?), "Take Meme to Your Leader" (though I admit the story won't age well), "The Sit Down" (gangsters and aliens), "Mission Log Nuptials" (the travails of human-alien romance), "Quick Cash in the Old Kingdom" (a fun fantasy story about graverobbing), and "The Assassination of 2063" (fun extrapolation of 1863 and 1963's presidential patterns in a post-apocalyptic future). I also liked "Spear Carriers' Union #109", but the story ended too soon, and would have benefited from a longer treatment.
There were a few disappointments, though: "The Ebony Egg" copied too much from the actual plot of The Maltese Falcon, and "Dethroning the Champeen" was neither SF nor fantasy and felt out of place (though I suppose it might have been alternate history?). I also liked the concept of "Three Ways to Leave Hawaii" more than the execution. An entertaining and worthwhile read. (B+)
August 26, 2023
1. “The Dragon, the Drudge, and the Drone� by Esther Friesner: Friesner has a way with words that I occasionally very much enjoy, with one one-liner in this story making me giggle with how perfectly deployed it was. Sadly, this story overstays its welcome much like the titular dragon: the juxtaposition at the end feels predictable rather than surprising, and a more memorable ending would have been a better one. 3/5
2. “Chad Versus the Rebel Alliance� by Shane Halbach: I’m pre-disposed to like this one, but I did like it a lot. Mixing US bro culture with Star Wars is a good idea I don’t think I’ve seen before, and this was both funny and heartwarming. 4/5
3. “The Secret Destiny of Heroes� by Matthew Bailey: This wasn’t very funny, but I did quite like the story itself. 3/5
4. “Old School: An Oral History of Captain Dick Chase� by Val Nolan: This had a couple of good one-liners, and was a neat concept. 3/5
5. “Take Meme to Your Leader� by Jennifer Lee Rossman: I’m not a big fan of zany comedy, and this was too much on the zany side for me. 1/5
6. “Contractual Obligations� by C Flynt: This one was kinda silly and kinda cute. 3/5
7. “Bimble Bimble Bop Bop!� by Richard Anderson: Again, this one was on the zany side. 1/5
8. “The Sit Down� by Laura Resnick: It was a neat concept, but I think that the execution was a little lacking? 2/5
9. “The Ebony Egg� by David Vierling: A third incredibly zany tale, but this one did land a little better for me. 2/5
10. “The Day After Halloween� by Greg Sisco: I really enjoyed the first half of this story, but I felt the ending kinda let it down. 3/5
11. “Falling’s Free, Gravity Costs� by Seanan McGuire: I liked this one, it was a lighthearted story that I didn’t laugh out loud at but actually worked as a story. 4/5
12. “Mission Log Nuptials� by Langley Hyde: Not sure I think treating women as objects to be won is funny, even if you hang a massive lantern on it� 1/5
13. “Quick Cash in the Old Kingdom� by Elin Korund: This one I liked a lot, I thought the ideas were super neat. 4/5
14. “Key Fang and Klaw� by Fred Stesney: Not a bad concept, but it didn’t grab me. 2/5
15. “The Vampire’s Apprentice� by Gini Koch: I’m glad I read some of Dracula before reading this, as I wonder whether it would have been much less funny without that. As it was, I did very much enjoy it! 4/5
16. “The Assassination of 2063� by David Vaughan: This had its moments but I’m not sure it clicked with me. 2/5
17. “Dethroning the Champeen� by Mike Resnick: Not really my cup of tea. 1/5
18. “Spear Carriers� Union 109� by Jamie Gilman Kress: Neat little commentary on tropes, almost like Redshirts but done in about 1% the length. 3/5
19. “The Fermi Loneliness Problem� by Beth Goder: This was an interesting story that didn’t quite stick the landing, but I liked the concept of a comedy of errors that stretches over aeons. 4/5
20. “Three Ways to Leave Hawaii� by Zach Shephard: This story had some neat concepts, but I found myself wishing that it had a more satisfying central thesis. 3/5
2. “Chad Versus the Rebel Alliance� by Shane Halbach: I’m pre-disposed to like this one, but I did like it a lot. Mixing US bro culture with Star Wars is a good idea I don’t think I’ve seen before, and this was both funny and heartwarming. 4/5
3. “The Secret Destiny of Heroes� by Matthew Bailey: This wasn’t very funny, but I did quite like the story itself. 3/5
4. “Old School: An Oral History of Captain Dick Chase� by Val Nolan: This had a couple of good one-liners, and was a neat concept. 3/5
5. “Take Meme to Your Leader� by Jennifer Lee Rossman: I’m not a big fan of zany comedy, and this was too much on the zany side for me. 1/5
6. “Contractual Obligations� by C Flynt: This one was kinda silly and kinda cute. 3/5
7. “Bimble Bimble Bop Bop!� by Richard Anderson: Again, this one was on the zany side. 1/5
8. “The Sit Down� by Laura Resnick: It was a neat concept, but I think that the execution was a little lacking? 2/5
9. “The Ebony Egg� by David Vierling: A third incredibly zany tale, but this one did land a little better for me. 2/5
10. “The Day After Halloween� by Greg Sisco: I really enjoyed the first half of this story, but I felt the ending kinda let it down. 3/5
11. “Falling’s Free, Gravity Costs� by Seanan McGuire: I liked this one, it was a lighthearted story that I didn’t laugh out loud at but actually worked as a story. 4/5
12. “Mission Log Nuptials� by Langley Hyde: Not sure I think treating women as objects to be won is funny, even if you hang a massive lantern on it� 1/5
13. “Quick Cash in the Old Kingdom� by Elin Korund: This one I liked a lot, I thought the ideas were super neat. 4/5
14. “Key Fang and Klaw� by Fred Stesney: Not a bad concept, but it didn’t grab me. 2/5
15. “The Vampire’s Apprentice� by Gini Koch: I’m glad I read some of Dracula before reading this, as I wonder whether it would have been much less funny without that. As it was, I did very much enjoy it! 4/5
16. “The Assassination of 2063� by David Vaughan: This had its moments but I’m not sure it clicked with me. 2/5
17. “Dethroning the Champeen� by Mike Resnick: Not really my cup of tea. 1/5
18. “Spear Carriers� Union 109� by Jamie Gilman Kress: Neat little commentary on tropes, almost like Redshirts but done in about 1% the length. 3/5
19. “The Fermi Loneliness Problem� by Beth Goder: This was an interesting story that didn’t quite stick the landing, but I liked the concept of a comedy of errors that stretches over aeons. 4/5
20. “Three Ways to Leave Hawaii� by Zach Shephard: This story had some neat concepts, but I found myself wishing that it had a more satisfying central thesis. 3/5
June 14, 2021
2/5 - The Dragon, the Drudge and the Drone, by Esther Friesner
2/5 - Chad Versus the Rebel Alliance, by Shane Halbach
3/5 - The Secret Destiny of Heroes, by Matthew Bailey
0/5 - Old School: An Oral History of Captain Dick Chase, by Val Nolan
0/5 - Take Meme to Your Leader, by Jennifer Lee Rossman
3/5 - Contractual Obligations, by C. Flynt
2/5 - Bimble Bimble Bop Bop!, by Richard Anderson
3/5 - The Sit Down, by Laura Resnick
2/5 - The Ebony Egg, by David Vierling
2/5 - The Day After Halloween, by Greg Sisco
1/5 - Falling's Free, Gravity Costs, by Seanan McGuire
1/5 - Mission Log Nuptials, by Langley Hyde
3/5 - Quick Cash in the Old Kingdom, by Elin Korund
3/5 - Key Fang and Klaw, by Fred Stesney
2/5 - The Vampire's Apprentice, by Gini Koch
1/5 - The Assasination of 2063, by David Vaughan
2/5 - Dethroning the Champeen, by Mike Resnick
2/5 - Spear Carriers' Union #109, by Jamie Gilman Kress
2/5 - The Fermi Loneliness Problem, by Beth Goder
3/5 - Three Ways to Leave Hawaii, by Zach Shephard
2/5 - Chad Versus the Rebel Alliance, by Shane Halbach
3/5 - The Secret Destiny of Heroes, by Matthew Bailey
0/5 - Old School: An Oral History of Captain Dick Chase, by Val Nolan
0/5 - Take Meme to Your Leader, by Jennifer Lee Rossman
3/5 - Contractual Obligations, by C. Flynt
2/5 - Bimble Bimble Bop Bop!, by Richard Anderson
3/5 - The Sit Down, by Laura Resnick
2/5 - The Ebony Egg, by David Vierling
2/5 - The Day After Halloween, by Greg Sisco
1/5 - Falling's Free, Gravity Costs, by Seanan McGuire
1/5 - Mission Log Nuptials, by Langley Hyde
3/5 - Quick Cash in the Old Kingdom, by Elin Korund
3/5 - Key Fang and Klaw, by Fred Stesney
2/5 - The Vampire's Apprentice, by Gini Koch
1/5 - The Assasination of 2063, by David Vaughan
2/5 - Dethroning the Champeen, by Mike Resnick
2/5 - Spear Carriers' Union #109, by Jamie Gilman Kress
2/5 - The Fermi Loneliness Problem, by Beth Goder
3/5 - Three Ways to Leave Hawaii, by Zach Shephard
October 2, 2018
I was a Kickstarter for this book. As one might suspect, the book is a collection of humorous short science fiction and fantasy stories. I didn't find any of them laugh-out-loud funny, but with one exception they were humorous and enjoyable. Highly recommended. A few notable stories were:
The Dragon, The Drudge and the Drone - a very cute tale of office politics in multiple dimensions.
Chad Vs. the Rebel Alliance - a neat twist on the Stormtrooper idea.
The Sit Down - a first contact story with mobsters. Nicely done.
The Day After Halloween - this was a complete miss for me.
Key Fang and Klaw - magic vs. science with a touch of AI.
The Dragon, The Drudge and the Drone - a very cute tale of office politics in multiple dimensions.
Chad Vs. the Rebel Alliance - a neat twist on the Stormtrooper idea.
The Sit Down - a first contact story with mobsters. Nicely done.
The Day After Halloween - this was a complete miss for me.
Key Fang and Klaw - magic vs. science with a touch of AI.
June 22, 2020
A good time for funny
Seriously, who couldn't do with more funny things in their life right now? This book will help with that. Typically anthology in that some stories work better than others, but there are some beauties here.
Seriously, who couldn't do with more funny things in their life right now? This book will help with that. Typically anthology in that some stories work better than others, but there are some beauties here.
March 8, 2019
Pleasure
I always look forward to this series. The stories are very enjoyable and humorous. I look forward to future installments.
I always look forward to this series. The stories are very enjoyable and humorous. I look forward to future installments.
April 2, 2020
Most of the stories were okay to meh. I decided that since I'm mortal, it was time to move on before finishing it.
May 29, 2020
Fun Stories, No Specific Genre
I enjoyed the book. Short stories I could read during breaks. They did not all fit in any one or two genres.
I enjoyed the book. Short stories I could read during breaks. They did not all fit in any one or two genres.
June 22, 2020
E super Sammlig vo churze Gschichtene, wo all so chli schräg sind :)
March 27, 2021
I really enjoyed this collection of humorous sci-fi/fantasy stories. I discovered it because it has a story by one of my favorite authors, but I read the whole thing and loved it.
April 28, 2022
For “Falling’s Free, Gravity Costs� by Seanan McGuire.
July 10, 2022
This one is wonderful, full of silly, good and especially funny fantasy and science fiction stories. Mix of known and unknown authors.
July 31, 2022
As with all this series, wonders inside. Do indulge.
August 18, 2022
Some great writers. Definitely thinking outside the box. Good for when you want something different. Damn, now I have to read the first 6.
May 2, 2022
For me this anthology was worth reading for the Chad clones and the Star Wars' parody. I enjoyed some of the other stories but at this point can't remember that many of them. I like the idea of funny sci-fi, there isn't enough of it out there and this was a diverting anthology.
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