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Look Me in the Eye
Ever since he was small, John Robison had longed to connect with other people, but by the time he was a teenager, his odd habits—an inclination to blurt out non sequiturs, avoid eye contact, dismantle radios, and dig five-foot holes (and stick his younger brother in them)—had earned him the label “social deviant.� No guidance came from his mother, who conversed with light fixtures, or his father, who spent evenings pickling himself in sherry. It was no wonder he gravitated to machines, which could, at least, be counted on.
After fleeing his parents and dropping out of high school, his savant-like ability to visualize electronic circuits landed him a gig with KISS, for whom he created their legendary fire-breathing guitars. Later, he drifted into a “real� job, as an engineer for a major toy company. But the higher Robison rose in the company, the more he had to pretend to be “normal� and do what he simply couldn’t communicate. It wasn’t worth the paycheck.
It was not until he was forty that an insightful therapist told him he had the form of autism called Asperger’s syndrome. That understanding transformed the way Robison saw himself—and the world.
Look Me in the Eye is the moving, darkly funny story of growing up with Asperger’s at a time when the diagnosis simply didn’t exist. A born storyteller, Robison takes you inside the head of a boy whom teachers and other adults regarded as “defective,� who could not avail himself of KISS’s endless supply of groupies, and who still has a peculiar aversion to using people’s given names (he calls his wife “Unit Two�). He also provides a fascinating reverse angle on the younger brother he left at the mercy of their nutty parents—the boy who would later change his name to Augusten Burroughs and write the bestselling memoir Running with Scissors .
Ultimately, this is the story of Robison’s journey from his world into ours, and his new life as a husband, father, and successful small business owner—repairing his beloved high-end automobiles. It’s a strange, sly, indelible account—sometimes alien, yet always deeply human.
After fleeing his parents and dropping out of high school, his savant-like ability to visualize electronic circuits landed him a gig with KISS, for whom he created their legendary fire-breathing guitars. Later, he drifted into a “real� job, as an engineer for a major toy company. But the higher Robison rose in the company, the more he had to pretend to be “normal� and do what he simply couldn’t communicate. It wasn’t worth the paycheck.
It was not until he was forty that an insightful therapist told him he had the form of autism called Asperger’s syndrome. That understanding transformed the way Robison saw himself—and the world.
Look Me in the Eye is the moving, darkly funny story of growing up with Asperger’s at a time when the diagnosis simply didn’t exist. A born storyteller, Robison takes you inside the head of a boy whom teachers and other adults regarded as “defective,� who could not avail himself of KISS’s endless supply of groupies, and who still has a peculiar aversion to using people’s given names (he calls his wife “Unit Two�). He also provides a fascinating reverse angle on the younger brother he left at the mercy of their nutty parents—the boy who would later change his name to Augusten Burroughs and write the bestselling memoir Running with Scissors .
Ultimately, this is the story of Robison’s journey from his world into ours, and his new life as a husband, father, and successful small business owner—repairing his beloved high-end automobiles. It’s a strange, sly, indelible account—sometimes alien, yet always deeply human.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published September 25, 2007
2256 people are currently reading
67019 people want to read
About the author
John Elder Robison
10books894followersI was born in rural Georgia, where my dad worked as a country preacher. I was kind of a misfit growing up. In fact, the bigger I got, the more misfit I became. At age 8, I got a little brother, and he was a misfit too. I dropped out of school in 10th grade, and never looked back. My brother dropped out a few years later, following in my footsteps.
I've had a number of careers . . . I designed sound systems for discos. I designed effects for KISS. I designed sound systems for more bands than I could count. Then, I took up electronic game design. I worked on fire alarms and power supplies. I even worked with lasers. Finally, 20 years ago, I gave up technology to start an automobile repair business.
That was where I was when my brother told some of our story in his 2002 memoir Running With Scissors. A few years later, I decided to tell my own story.
I wrote a book called Look Me in the Eye, my life with Asperger's. Well, that kind of changed everything for me. I was, like, fully out of the closet and under the public microscope.
Over the past decadeI've published four books and hundreds of articles. I've written chapters in a number of academic books and articles in peer reviewed scientific journals.
I served two terms on the Interagency Autism Coordinating Committee for the US Dept of Health and Human Services, and I am on the board of INSAR, the professional society for autism researchers.
Today autism is recognized as a part of human neurological diversity, conferring both disability and exceptionality. I am the neurodiversity scholar at the College of William & Mary and advisor to the Center for Neurodiversity at Landmark College. I am also neurodiversity advisor for the Livermore National Lab.
Today, I have an active speaking schedule, and I'm also involved in autism research. I'm a member of the Interagency Autism Coordinating Committee of the US Dept of Health and Human Services, and I'm on the Science Board of Autism Speaks.
My books are:
- Look Me in the Eye (2007)
- Be Different (2011)
- Raising Cubby (2013)
- Switched On (2016)
Switched On is currently in development as a feature film with Focus.
In addition to being a book author, I own J E Robison Service Co in Springfield, Massachusetts. Robison Service does service, repair, and restoration work on European cars, with particular emphasis on BMW, Mercedes, Land Rover, Bentley, and Rolls Royce.
I'm interested in music, photography, small boats, hiking and the outdoors, and reading.
Read more on my blog at
Join me on Facebook at
And follow @johnrobison on Twitter
I've had a number of careers . . . I designed sound systems for discos. I designed effects for KISS. I designed sound systems for more bands than I could count. Then, I took up electronic game design. I worked on fire alarms and power supplies. I even worked with lasers. Finally, 20 years ago, I gave up technology to start an automobile repair business.
That was where I was when my brother told some of our story in his 2002 memoir Running With Scissors. A few years later, I decided to tell my own story.
I wrote a book called Look Me in the Eye, my life with Asperger's. Well, that kind of changed everything for me. I was, like, fully out of the closet and under the public microscope.
Over the past decadeI've published four books and hundreds of articles. I've written chapters in a number of academic books and articles in peer reviewed scientific journals.
I served two terms on the Interagency Autism Coordinating Committee for the US Dept of Health and Human Services, and I am on the board of INSAR, the professional society for autism researchers.
Today autism is recognized as a part of human neurological diversity, conferring both disability and exceptionality. I am the neurodiversity scholar at the College of William & Mary and advisor to the Center for Neurodiversity at Landmark College. I am also neurodiversity advisor for the Livermore National Lab.
Today, I have an active speaking schedule, and I'm also involved in autism research. I'm a member of the Interagency Autism Coordinating Committee of the US Dept of Health and Human Services, and I'm on the Science Board of Autism Speaks.
My books are:
- Look Me in the Eye (2007)
- Be Different (2011)
- Raising Cubby (2013)
- Switched On (2016)
Switched On is currently in development as a feature film with Focus.
In addition to being a book author, I own J E Robison Service Co in Springfield, Massachusetts. Robison Service does service, repair, and restoration work on European cars, with particular emphasis on BMW, Mercedes, Land Rover, Bentley, and Rolls Royce.
I'm interested in music, photography, small boats, hiking and the outdoors, and reading.
Read more on my blog at
Join me on Facebook at
And follow @johnrobison on Twitter
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 4,683 reviews
March 29, 2025
John Robison was full of playful life as a young kid. But, just like me, he had an uphill road to climb in life. And it took him forty years to grow up. It took me a heckuva lot longer!
He just couldn’t communicate, you see. Asperger’s sufferers can’t read other people’s signs. And like him, though a bit more communicative, I had no concept of good and evil.
Sure, I knew enough to be good. My parents had inculcated goodness deep within my bones. Only I had no concrete idea of its opposite. And even though Dad routinely took me to church (he insisted, bless him!) the message had gone completely over my head. Until I was twenty.
Then it became self-evident, but it was too late. Dr. Asperger (as yet unknown for his ruthlessness) had predicted such calamities.
Bottom line is that the world had no vocabulary for dealing with me as yet.
I continued to submit to a flawed system, however, with patience, faith and good humour. I had always recognized the wisdom of authority, but bent the rules slightly with my long reach for mitigating laughs. And that just caused more alarm.
And after a long series of slurs to my name I was not much wiser.
Then, in my seventieth year (Yep. That’s right. One of my helpful ŷ pals even called me a Rip van Winkle) I started to read about Asperger’s: and how it affects kids from a loving family when childhood trauma occurs.
You see, from that time onward I had always retreated deeply into myself for security. I had always ignored Gertrude Stein when she repeated, a rose is a rose is a rose. Those bald facts of life undid me.
And that’s the long & winding road through which I finally discovered undisturbed peace in my life.
And my childhood faith sealed it tight.
Oh, it is an endless Dawn, you’re right, with more than a few remaining shadows...
But it’s finally leading me home!
He just couldn’t communicate, you see. Asperger’s sufferers can’t read other people’s signs. And like him, though a bit more communicative, I had no concept of good and evil.
Sure, I knew enough to be good. My parents had inculcated goodness deep within my bones. Only I had no concrete idea of its opposite. And even though Dad routinely took me to church (he insisted, bless him!) the message had gone completely over my head. Until I was twenty.
Then it became self-evident, but it was too late. Dr. Asperger (as yet unknown for his ruthlessness) had predicted such calamities.
Bottom line is that the world had no vocabulary for dealing with me as yet.
I continued to submit to a flawed system, however, with patience, faith and good humour. I had always recognized the wisdom of authority, but bent the rules slightly with my long reach for mitigating laughs. And that just caused more alarm.
And after a long series of slurs to my name I was not much wiser.
Then, in my seventieth year (Yep. That’s right. One of my helpful ŷ pals even called me a Rip van Winkle) I started to read about Asperger’s: and how it affects kids from a loving family when childhood trauma occurs.
You see, from that time onward I had always retreated deeply into myself for security. I had always ignored Gertrude Stein when she repeated, a rose is a rose is a rose. Those bald facts of life undid me.
And that’s the long & winding road through which I finally discovered undisturbed peace in my life.
And my childhood faith sealed it tight.
Oh, it is an endless Dawn, you’re right, with more than a few remaining shadows...
But it’s finally leading me home!
December 11, 2008
I am interested in the Asperger's continuum, so when I heard about this memoir - written by Augusten Burroughs's brother - I added it to my Amazon wish list. The title leads one to believe that the book is about the author's life with Asperger's, but that's a little misleading. The book is about his life in general and very little is devoted to how Asperger's influenced his life at all ages. I wanted to read a memoir about growing up within a dysfunctional family and also having a condition that makes life different, but what I read was about his experiences with sound engineering, some good stories that you can hear in any bar and, occasionally, his Asperger's. His condition seemed to be tangential, an afterthought. A selling point?
I skimmed through most of the middle part of the book through the end because it just wasn't interesting, nor was it even remotely related to the story I thought he would be relating to the reader. He writes in his afterword that he "wanted to show readers what it was like to grow up feeling like a freak or a misfit." It did not. He writes that he wanted also to show what life with Asperger's was like, how those with the condition are different. He doesn't do that, either. He doesn't settle on any one part of his life long enough to explain anything, and the result is a collection of chapters and words by Augusten Burroughs's brother, not an account of life with Asperger's.
One of the reviews on the back cover of the paperback book reads, "...Should be on the reading list of anyone who is interested in the human mind." As someone deeply interested in psychology, neurology, brain and behavior, I am almost offended by that statement. The book gives absolutely nothing - neither personal nor scientific - to sate any curiosity one may have of the human mind.
Just because you have some decent stories doesn't mean you can write a memoir. I'm sorry I bought this book.
I skimmed through most of the middle part of the book through the end because it just wasn't interesting, nor was it even remotely related to the story I thought he would be relating to the reader. He writes in his afterword that he "wanted to show readers what it was like to grow up feeling like a freak or a misfit." It did not. He writes that he wanted also to show what life with Asperger's was like, how those with the condition are different. He doesn't do that, either. He doesn't settle on any one part of his life long enough to explain anything, and the result is a collection of chapters and words by Augusten Burroughs's brother, not an account of life with Asperger's.
One of the reviews on the back cover of the paperback book reads, "...Should be on the reading list of anyone who is interested in the human mind." As someone deeply interested in psychology, neurology, brain and behavior, I am almost offended by that statement. The book gives absolutely nothing - neither personal nor scientific - to sate any curiosity one may have of the human mind.
Just because you have some decent stories doesn't mean you can write a memoir. I'm sorry I bought this book.
October 16, 2019
Asperger’s Syndrome is a form of autism that affects social interaction, communication skills and may also cause physical clumsiness. For example, it may prevent a person from displaying emotion and may cause them to make inappropriate or odd comments.
The author Robison had it undiagnosed for most of his life.
Robison is also the older brother of author Augusten Burroughs. One interesting element of this book is that Robison describes some of the same events as Burroughs, but from the older brother perspective. Same dysfunctional family, same neurotic mom and same violent, alcoholic dad; but Look Me in the Eye is told from his damaged perspective.
And where Running with Scissors was a funny, but absurd parade of grotesques, Look Me in the Eye is a balanced, clear, simple, well written account of a life on the periphery of society, banished because of a disorder that also gave him savant-like skills.
Finally, the fact that he worked for KISS and created Ace Frehley's stage guitars makes this an even more cool book to enjoy.
The author Robison had it undiagnosed for most of his life.
Robison is also the older brother of author Augusten Burroughs. One interesting element of this book is that Robison describes some of the same events as Burroughs, but from the older brother perspective. Same dysfunctional family, same neurotic mom and same violent, alcoholic dad; but Look Me in the Eye is told from his damaged perspective.
And where Running with Scissors was a funny, but absurd parade of grotesques, Look Me in the Eye is a balanced, clear, simple, well written account of a life on the periphery of society, banished because of a disorder that also gave him savant-like skills.
Finally, the fact that he worked for KISS and created Ace Frehley's stage guitars makes this an even more cool book to enjoy.
April 30, 2008
In a day when a cure is expected for nearly every ailment, flaw or disorder, I was struck by John Elder Robinson's assertion that those with Asperger's Syndrome, a neurobiological disorder on the autism spectrum that the author lived with undiagnosed until he was forty, needs no cure - only understanding.
John Elder Robinson starts his story with his earliest memories -a failed attempt to make friends in a sandbox and meanders through his shame at being called a deviant and a psychopath because he avoided eye contact (although his explanation about how he still doesn't understand most people's need to stare at somebody's eyeball while speaking to them is hilarious), leaving home in the middle of his teenage years, finding himself as part of the 70s rock scene and creating flaming guitars for KISS, faking his way through a job interview for a position as an engineer and getting it by reading and memorizing books about the subject, his parallel struggle to "be a team player" through out his career, until he finally arrives at understanding and acceptance for both his gifts and oddities.
Although this book contains many fascinating stories that stem from his dysfunctional childhood rather than his Asperger's Syndrome, Robinson's experiences and viewpoint sheds a great deal of light on an "Aspergian's" way of thinking. I have a nephew who has been diagnosed with Asperger's and a brother and sister-in-law who constantly seek balance between his way of seeing things and their own understanding. I found myself asking my sister-in-law the question, "Do you think he needs a cure?" Who is to say? Robinson made clear in his book that while he has learned a great deal about appropriate social responses through trial and error, he still finds them unnatural and really, more to the point, unnecessary. What is normal? How much of life's successes are social? What parts of our own personalities should be fixed? I mean, I can't imagine an enjoyable existence where we are all the same.
But, if Asperger's Syndrome falls on the Autism Spectrum, and we observe those with the kinds of autism that render them completely unable to connect to the outside world, certainly we feel they miss out on opportunities for relationships and meaningful experiences. Certainly we would choose a cure, if there was one to be found. So at what point of the spectrum do we intercede?
These are simply the questions that I had after reading this book. You may or may not have similar kinds. However, if you get a chance to read this illuminating book, you will definitely have a glimpse into a colorful and fascinating life.
John Elder Robinson starts his story with his earliest memories -a failed attempt to make friends in a sandbox and meanders through his shame at being called a deviant and a psychopath because he avoided eye contact (although his explanation about how he still doesn't understand most people's need to stare at somebody's eyeball while speaking to them is hilarious), leaving home in the middle of his teenage years, finding himself as part of the 70s rock scene and creating flaming guitars for KISS, faking his way through a job interview for a position as an engineer and getting it by reading and memorizing books about the subject, his parallel struggle to "be a team player" through out his career, until he finally arrives at understanding and acceptance for both his gifts and oddities.
Although this book contains many fascinating stories that stem from his dysfunctional childhood rather than his Asperger's Syndrome, Robinson's experiences and viewpoint sheds a great deal of light on an "Aspergian's" way of thinking. I have a nephew who has been diagnosed with Asperger's and a brother and sister-in-law who constantly seek balance between his way of seeing things and their own understanding. I found myself asking my sister-in-law the question, "Do you think he needs a cure?" Who is to say? Robinson made clear in his book that while he has learned a great deal about appropriate social responses through trial and error, he still finds them unnatural and really, more to the point, unnecessary. What is normal? How much of life's successes are social? What parts of our own personalities should be fixed? I mean, I can't imagine an enjoyable existence where we are all the same.
But, if Asperger's Syndrome falls on the Autism Spectrum, and we observe those with the kinds of autism that render them completely unable to connect to the outside world, certainly we feel they miss out on opportunities for relationships and meaningful experiences. Certainly we would choose a cure, if there was one to be found. So at what point of the spectrum do we intercede?
These are simply the questions that I had after reading this book. You may or may not have similar kinds. However, if you get a chance to read this illuminating book, you will definitely have a glimpse into a colorful and fascinating life.
December 8, 2024
Rounding up to 5.
Loved this book. Most of it takes place in the Pioneer Valley, which is where my alma mater is located. So I already felt an attachment to the book before I even started.
This is the first time I got to take an in-depth look at Asperger’s. Because it largely chronicles his life before it became a mainstream word. I’ve known autistic people, but none of them would’ve qualified as Asperger. So this was a learning for me. I realize his life doesn’t necessarily represent all people (or even most people), but I’m sure much of his experiences would feel familiar to others. At the same time, because he’s had to learn to live as an Aspergerian without the benefit of knowing he had it, I found his approach to living inspiring and beautiful.
Loved this book. Most of it takes place in the Pioneer Valley, which is where my alma mater is located. So I already felt an attachment to the book before I even started.
This is the first time I got to take an in-depth look at Asperger’s. Because it largely chronicles his life before it became a mainstream word. I’ve known autistic people, but none of them would’ve qualified as Asperger. So this was a learning for me. I realize his life doesn’t necessarily represent all people (or even most people), but I’m sure much of his experiences would feel familiar to others. At the same time, because he’s had to learn to live as an Aspergerian without the benefit of knowing he had it, I found his approach to living inspiring and beautiful.
January 21, 2008
“Look me in the eyes, young man!�
“Nobody trusts a man who won’t look them in the eye.�
“You look like a criminal.�
“I’ve read about people like you. They have no expression because they have no feeling. Some of the worst murderers in history were sociopaths.�
These are just some of the things John Elder Robison heard as a young boy, decades before a friend handed him a book about Asperger’s Syndrome and told him, "This book describes you exactly." Hearing these predictions made Robison withdraw even further as a child as he waited for these awful things to come true. It wasn’t until he was a teenager that he realized he wasn’t going to become a serial killer. By that time he had met enough shifty people who had no trouble looking him in the eye to realize that these people had no idea what they were talking about. Learning that he was not defective and that he was not alone brought great peace to the adult John Elder Robison.
Although Robison was raised by a violent, alcoholic father and an increasingly mentally unstable mother, he was luckier than most Aspergian children at that time in that he was raised in a collegiate environment, where his quirky nature and adult personality were admired by professors and students. He honed his coping skills on college campuses across America. His brother, Augusten Burroughs, chronicled the dysfunction of the Robison family in his popular memoir, Running with Scissors (made into a movie in 2006). Burroughs believes that his brother was able to survive their turbulent childhood by his ability to shut down in traumatic situations.
Robison learned early on how not to answer a question. If a kid said, “Look at my Tonka truck,� instead of blurting out “I want some cookies,� he would force himself to supply the correct response: “That’s a neat truck! Can I hold it?� These skills helped him in his teenage and adult years, and he went on to design speakers for Pink Floyd and flaming guitars for KISS before settling down in the corporate world of designing electronic games for Milton Bradley. Eventually, his expertise in automotives steered him towards his own business of repairing and restoring European automobiles.
Some who are familiar with Aspies might be surprised at the emotion that Robison brings to his story. The chapters “I Get a Bear Cub� and “Winning at Basketball,� and the epilogue about his father’s death are surprisingly touching, breaking through the common robotic barrier of an Aspie. I was especially moved by his perfectly rational reason why Aspies don’t show emotion over tragic events that don’t directly affect them: "People die every minute, all over the world. If we tried to feel sorry for every death, our little hearts would explode." And he’s absolutely right.
Look Me in the Eye is one of the few books on Asperger's Syndrome that is not a dry training manual on the condition. I will always be grateful to Robison for telling his story because someone I'm close to has Asperger's, and I can now see that this person's eccentric way of doing things makes perfectly good sense to him, even if it sometimes doesn't to me.
“Nobody trusts a man who won’t look them in the eye.�
“You look like a criminal.�
“I’ve read about people like you. They have no expression because they have no feeling. Some of the worst murderers in history were sociopaths.�
These are just some of the things John Elder Robison heard as a young boy, decades before a friend handed him a book about Asperger’s Syndrome and told him, "This book describes you exactly." Hearing these predictions made Robison withdraw even further as a child as he waited for these awful things to come true. It wasn’t until he was a teenager that he realized he wasn’t going to become a serial killer. By that time he had met enough shifty people who had no trouble looking him in the eye to realize that these people had no idea what they were talking about. Learning that he was not defective and that he was not alone brought great peace to the adult John Elder Robison.
Although Robison was raised by a violent, alcoholic father and an increasingly mentally unstable mother, he was luckier than most Aspergian children at that time in that he was raised in a collegiate environment, where his quirky nature and adult personality were admired by professors and students. He honed his coping skills on college campuses across America. His brother, Augusten Burroughs, chronicled the dysfunction of the Robison family in his popular memoir, Running with Scissors (made into a movie in 2006). Burroughs believes that his brother was able to survive their turbulent childhood by his ability to shut down in traumatic situations.
Robison learned early on how not to answer a question. If a kid said, “Look at my Tonka truck,� instead of blurting out “I want some cookies,� he would force himself to supply the correct response: “That’s a neat truck! Can I hold it?� These skills helped him in his teenage and adult years, and he went on to design speakers for Pink Floyd and flaming guitars for KISS before settling down in the corporate world of designing electronic games for Milton Bradley. Eventually, his expertise in automotives steered him towards his own business of repairing and restoring European automobiles.
Some who are familiar with Aspies might be surprised at the emotion that Robison brings to his story. The chapters “I Get a Bear Cub� and “Winning at Basketball,� and the epilogue about his father’s death are surprisingly touching, breaking through the common robotic barrier of an Aspie. I was especially moved by his perfectly rational reason why Aspies don’t show emotion over tragic events that don’t directly affect them: "People die every minute, all over the world. If we tried to feel sorry for every death, our little hearts would explode." And he’s absolutely right.
Look Me in the Eye is one of the few books on Asperger's Syndrome that is not a dry training manual on the condition. I will always be grateful to Robison for telling his story because someone I'm close to has Asperger's, and I can now see that this person's eccentric way of doing things makes perfectly good sense to him, even if it sometimes doesn't to me.
May 3, 2016
I had no idea John Robison was Augusten Burrough's brother! He gives the foreword in the book.
This is a really sad story of a boy's childhood. He had family with troubles, kids and people that were mean. They didn't know he had something like he had and people didn't understand most of that stuff back then. They don't even understand it now. A lot of people are just mean.
Just because someone has any kind of mental or medical issue doesn't mean there is something wrong with them. They are not monsters!
--->EXCERPT<---
By the time I was twelve, I had progressed from "If he doesn't get better, he may have to be institutionalized" to "He's a weird, screwed-up kid." But although my communication abilities had developed by leaps and bounds, people had ever higher expectations for me, and I began having trouble with what the therapists called "inappropriate expressions."
John was also abused by his alcoholic father. It makes me sick. Anyone that gets abused, it makes me sick.
I might sob, or I might be quiet. It depended on how hard he hit me. I thought of the knife my grandfather had given me for Christmas. Solingen steel. Eight inches long. Sharp. I could roll over and jam it into him, right to the hilt. Right in the belly. But I was afraid. What if I miss? What if it doesn't kill him? I had seen the movies, where they just kept coming. They didn't die like they were supposed to. He might kill me for real, then.
But not all is doom and gloom. John was very smart and making things. He actually made guitars and made these awesome guitars for Ace Frehley! How cool is that?
Smoking guitars, fire guitars, you name it.
But the thing is, this book is just another good book for people to learn a little more about how people are treated with Asperger's. Some are not treated bad but we all know the world, there seems to be more bad people than good.
*I would like to thank Random House and Blogging for Books for a print copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.*
MY BLOG:
July 7, 2008
I bought this book on a whim (so that my order would get free shipping from Amazon.com). I was quickly horrified to learn that the author is the real-life brother of Augusten Burroughs, author of Running with Scissors. I did not enjoy that memoir at all. Go read my review of it so see what exactly I hated, if you're so curious. But I decided that I would try not to hold Robison's family against him and read his book.
I have to admit, given my son's placement on the autism spectrum, books that approach that subject matter spark my interest. Robison's memoir focuses on his view of the world as a person living with Asperger's, and for a very large portion of his life, without a dianosis. So many moments I saw characteristics common to my son, and it made me consider that raising of such a child. It's clear that I could not read this book with my usual academic detachment.
But here goes with the rest. Much of his writing was interesting. I mean, who doesn't want to hear about the life of a guy designing smoking guitars? However, there were chapters that were a bit bland, overly analytical, and just there for information. Parts like that read like a brochure in a psychiatrist's office. But to be fair, Aspergians can definitely be that way, so it was truth in style, more or less. For me, the very best part of this book was the epilogue. It was interesting and heart warming. Robison was able to do something his brother failed to do in Running With Scissors, conclude the story. It ended, and I was content. As a reader, I can't ask for much more.
I have to admit, given my son's placement on the autism spectrum, books that approach that subject matter spark my interest. Robison's memoir focuses on his view of the world as a person living with Asperger's, and for a very large portion of his life, without a dianosis. So many moments I saw characteristics common to my son, and it made me consider that raising of such a child. It's clear that I could not read this book with my usual academic detachment.
But here goes with the rest. Much of his writing was interesting. I mean, who doesn't want to hear about the life of a guy designing smoking guitars? However, there were chapters that were a bit bland, overly analytical, and just there for information. Parts like that read like a brochure in a psychiatrist's office. But to be fair, Aspergians can definitely be that way, so it was truth in style, more or less. For me, the very best part of this book was the epilogue. It was interesting and heart warming. Robison was able to do something his brother failed to do in Running With Scissors, conclude the story. It ended, and I was content. As a reader, I can't ask for much more.
May 25, 2016
I really wanted to like this book. I was reading it for a class and had to compare it to other accounts of people with Asperger's. However, not only did I dislike it due to the poor writing, but also because it really didn't seem to agree with Robison's assessment of Asperger's. A lot of what he attributes to the condition (dangerous pranks, manipulation, lying) seems less to do with him being an Aspie than him just being a jerk. I couldn't see the humor in his interactions or his pranks, (Like leaving his brother head first in a deep hole, or making "cocaine" at work) despite his dismissal in epilogue claiming no one got hurt.
I was also rubbed the wrong way by the tone of the book. I realize that Robison overcame a lot in his life, but his writing came off too smug for me to have any other emotions other than dislike towards him. For example, he claims that he single handedly saves the toy company that he worked for (Not that he got any credit). I also found it frustrating that he desired to be understood and treated with respect by others, but lacked the same courtesy towards others. For example in his chapter about naming, he talks about naming people what he like (He calls his wife Unit 2, and his parents Slave and Stupid), but gets angry when they don't respect his made-up names.
Last, I was troubled with Robison's chapter about how Asperger's is essentially a choice. He writes how he was able to improve his communication and his interactions with the outside world. He was able to do this because he "chose Door #1" and didn't withdraw into himself. He feels badly for children who "choose Door #2" and become uncommunicative. I feel like by making Asperger's seem like a choice, it disrespects and blames the children (and their families) who are on a different part of the spectrum.
I was also rubbed the wrong way by the tone of the book. I realize that Robison overcame a lot in his life, but his writing came off too smug for me to have any other emotions other than dislike towards him. For example, he claims that he single handedly saves the toy company that he worked for (Not that he got any credit). I also found it frustrating that he desired to be understood and treated with respect by others, but lacked the same courtesy towards others. For example in his chapter about naming, he talks about naming people what he like (He calls his wife Unit 2, and his parents Slave and Stupid), but gets angry when they don't respect his made-up names.
Last, I was troubled with Robison's chapter about how Asperger's is essentially a choice. He writes how he was able to improve his communication and his interactions with the outside world. He was able to do this because he "chose Door #1" and didn't withdraw into himself. He feels badly for children who "choose Door #2" and become uncommunicative. I feel like by making Asperger's seem like a choice, it disrespects and blames the children (and their families) who are on a different part of the spectrum.
April 1, 2013
A thoughtful and entertaining memoir of someone who has Asperger's, but he wasn't diagnosed until he was 40. Before then, John knew there was something wrong with him, but he didn't know what. When he was young he wanted to make friends and be part of a team, but he had trouble talking to other kids. He couldn't understand social cues and didn't understand when other people got mad at him for asking inappropriate questions or smiling at the wrong times. Worst of all, John would often look at the floor when someone talked to him, and grownups often yelled at him to "look me in the eye! What are you hiding?"
John Elder Robison is also known for being the brother of Augusten Burroughs, who wrote "Running With Scissors." Both brothers are wonderful storytellers, and John has some great ones. After he dropped out of high school, he started working with a local band because he was good at fixing their sound equipment. One day he ran into some of the tech crew for Pink Floyd, and he was able to fix their speakers. This led to a job traveling around the country fixing sound equipment for other bands, and he also designed special effects for Ace Frehley from KISS. Later, John worked at Milton Bradley designing some early electronic games. Throughout his life, John enjoyed playing pranks on people and telling long tales.
The book does a good job of showing the thought processes of someone with Asperger's. I work with some students who are on the autism spectrum, and it helped to get more insight into how they might think.
John Elder Robison is also known for being the brother of Augusten Burroughs, who wrote "Running With Scissors." Both brothers are wonderful storytellers, and John has some great ones. After he dropped out of high school, he started working with a local band because he was good at fixing their sound equipment. One day he ran into some of the tech crew for Pink Floyd, and he was able to fix their speakers. This led to a job traveling around the country fixing sound equipment for other bands, and he also designed special effects for Ace Frehley from KISS. Later, John worked at Milton Bradley designing some early electronic games. Throughout his life, John enjoyed playing pranks on people and telling long tales.
The book does a good job of showing the thought processes of someone with Asperger's. I work with some students who are on the autism spectrum, and it helped to get more insight into how they might think.
June 4, 2022
‘Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s� by John Elder Robison is the autobiography of Augusten Burroughs' brother. Burroughs is the more famous brother who wrote under a name he had chosen himself because he disliked his father and the name he had been given at birth. John is eight years older than Burroughs, and he thinks he and his brother had very different parenting as a result. In any case, they both had tough childhoods due to their father’s alcoholism and their mother’s mental illness.
I kept feeling jolts of recognition in John’s descriptions of his mental processing and problems in dealing with other people. This book is very interesting, but I think some people will skim those parts where Robison details his work, inventions, and interests. To me, though, the manner in which he details those interests was EXACTLY the same manner, the cadence of thought, if you forgive my presumption, of an individual I know personally. Wow!
I have copied the book blurb because it is accurate:
”Ever since he was small, John Robison had longed to connect with other people, but by the time he was a teenager, his odd habits—an inclination to blurt out non sequiturs, avoid eye contact, dismantle radios, and dig five-foot holes (and stick his younger brother in them)—had earned him the label “social deviant.� No guidance came from his mother, who conversed with light fixtures, or his father, who spent evenings pickling himself in sherry. It was no wonder he gravitated to machines, which could, at least, be counted on.
After fleeing his parents and dropping out of high school, his savant-like ability to visualize electronic circuits landed him a gig with KISS, for whom he created their legendary fire-breathing guitars. Later, he drifted into a “real� job, as an engineer for a major toy company. But the higher Robison rose in the company, the more he had to pretend to be “normal� and do what he simply couldn’t: communicate. It wasn’t worth the paycheck.
It was not until he was forty that an insightful therapist told him he had the form of autism called Asperger’s syndrome. That understanding transformed the way Robison saw himself—and the world.
Look Me in the Eye is the moving, darkly funny story of growing up with Asperger’s at a time when the diagnosis simply didn’t exist. A born storyteller, Robison takes you inside the head of a boy whom teachers and other adults regarded as “defective,� who could not avail himself of KISS’s endless supply of groupies, and who still has a peculiar aversion to using people’s given names (he calls his wife “Unit Two�). He also provides a fascinating reverse angle on the younger brother he left at the mercy of their nutty parents—the boy who would later change his name to Augusten Burroughs and write the bestselling memoir Running with Scissors.
Ultimately, this is the story of Robison’s journey from his world into ours, and his new life as a husband, father, and successful small business owner—repairing his beloved high-end automobiles. It’s a strange, sly, indelible account—sometimes alien, yet always deeply human.�
I know someone on the autism spectrum. For ten years I thought this person might be a sociopath, but there were puzzling differences from what I read in psychology books. When autism began to be talked and written about, I felt like a lightening bolt had struck me! This! This! He was clearly high functioning, able to work, even was promoted to management. Yet. There was chaos.
There were odd mishaps because of crazy clumsiness. It is definitely obvious he thoroughly studies a problem and comes up with solutions or conclusions which are completely either incompetent due to no clue of what is common knowledge or his ideas are brilliantly innovative and off the wall. In certain areas, he was genius, like in anything mechanical, but he also had a sometimes annoying confidence in himself as the only one who could do it right even if one could see he kinda was doing it the hard way. He can’t ‘read the room.� He doesn’t recognize people by their faces or names, instead does so by their clothes or voice. He refused to call people he knew by their names; instead he gave them descriptive names, like calling his niece “The Girl� all of the time. He can’t tolerate at all hundreds of ordinary things - many sounds, anything tight, things like toothpaste or shampoo being put in the ‘wrong� place� or not set EXACTLY there where he had put it where it was the perfect place (“don’t touch it!�) or things that are not being used the ‘right way�, the color red (???), certain shapes, particular asymmetrical ones, that simply look wrong or scary - ffs, scary!
Many things which are insignificant or tolerable to most of us, things which I didn’t ever notice or care if I did, he can’t bear them. He has learned to surreptitiously change whatever room or environment or conversation topic he is around. My god, is he sly! I keep my silence when I see him manipulate people to change their conversation to something less personal (changes topics to in-depth discussion of weather, airplanes, cars, mechanical repairs) or move objects to a different spot or even hide them from his sight. He squares up everything - objects on a table, pictures on a wall. So casually! He seems to ONLY be interested in weather, cars and in how objects, things like radios, worked. He takes everything apart to understand its mechanisms, and sometimes loses all interest in putting it back together to the frustration of the owner of whatever device he just HAD to take apart. Every computer, or device like a remote, I have ever decided is too old to sell, he has taken apart and then tells me what every single little component must be and do. He refuses to throw away anything mechanical which is broken. He has learned to make jokes (terrible), and keep his voice relaxed, light, despite that he actually is very serious and will not tolerate dissent or disagreements without extreme annoyance, even rage. Knowing him as I do, I head off the tantrum I can see building by distraction, changing the subject.
Strangely, most people never notice his, or my, maneuvering! Only those folks who do things or go places with him a lot, and then only over a long period of time, start to see it. It’s amazing. For me, though, I can see he has memorized how to act like the majority of us in so many ways. Even so, I am asked sometimes, “is he autistic?� There was a time when no one who picked up on his quirks asked me this, they just decided he was crazy. Now, he fascinates them, but they limit their time with him sometimes. I believe he doesn’t know. He can’t ‘read� nuances or subtleties, and I have definitely had to step in on occasion to prevent a situation he is misinterpreting as disrespect or an insult. Omg, btw, satire is a trigger for rage! But most humor is quite impossible for him to truly grok, and his own natural humor is shockingly tone deaf, mean, and cruel to those who can’t follow his reasoning! So. It’s better he memorizes things to say and joke about for sure. He tells great jokes! There is a section in Robison's book about humor, and omg did this resonate with me!
To me, 'Look Me in the Eye' is absolutely authentic.
I kept feeling jolts of recognition in John’s descriptions of his mental processing and problems in dealing with other people. This book is very interesting, but I think some people will skim those parts where Robison details his work, inventions, and interests. To me, though, the manner in which he details those interests was EXACTLY the same manner, the cadence of thought, if you forgive my presumption, of an individual I know personally. Wow!
I have copied the book blurb because it is accurate:
”Ever since he was small, John Robison had longed to connect with other people, but by the time he was a teenager, his odd habits—an inclination to blurt out non sequiturs, avoid eye contact, dismantle radios, and dig five-foot holes (and stick his younger brother in them)—had earned him the label “social deviant.� No guidance came from his mother, who conversed with light fixtures, or his father, who spent evenings pickling himself in sherry. It was no wonder he gravitated to machines, which could, at least, be counted on.
After fleeing his parents and dropping out of high school, his savant-like ability to visualize electronic circuits landed him a gig with KISS, for whom he created their legendary fire-breathing guitars. Later, he drifted into a “real� job, as an engineer for a major toy company. But the higher Robison rose in the company, the more he had to pretend to be “normal� and do what he simply couldn’t: communicate. It wasn’t worth the paycheck.
It was not until he was forty that an insightful therapist told him he had the form of autism called Asperger’s syndrome. That understanding transformed the way Robison saw himself—and the world.
Look Me in the Eye is the moving, darkly funny story of growing up with Asperger’s at a time when the diagnosis simply didn’t exist. A born storyteller, Robison takes you inside the head of a boy whom teachers and other adults regarded as “defective,� who could not avail himself of KISS’s endless supply of groupies, and who still has a peculiar aversion to using people’s given names (he calls his wife “Unit Two�). He also provides a fascinating reverse angle on the younger brother he left at the mercy of their nutty parents—the boy who would later change his name to Augusten Burroughs and write the bestselling memoir Running with Scissors.
Ultimately, this is the story of Robison’s journey from his world into ours, and his new life as a husband, father, and successful small business owner—repairing his beloved high-end automobiles. It’s a strange, sly, indelible account—sometimes alien, yet always deeply human.�
I know someone on the autism spectrum. For ten years I thought this person might be a sociopath, but there were puzzling differences from what I read in psychology books. When autism began to be talked and written about, I felt like a lightening bolt had struck me! This! This! He was clearly high functioning, able to work, even was promoted to management. Yet. There was chaos.
There were odd mishaps because of crazy clumsiness. It is definitely obvious he thoroughly studies a problem and comes up with solutions or conclusions which are completely either incompetent due to no clue of what is common knowledge or his ideas are brilliantly innovative and off the wall. In certain areas, he was genius, like in anything mechanical, but he also had a sometimes annoying confidence in himself as the only one who could do it right even if one could see he kinda was doing it the hard way. He can’t ‘read the room.� He doesn’t recognize people by their faces or names, instead does so by their clothes or voice. He refused to call people he knew by their names; instead he gave them descriptive names, like calling his niece “The Girl� all of the time. He can’t tolerate at all hundreds of ordinary things - many sounds, anything tight, things like toothpaste or shampoo being put in the ‘wrong� place� or not set EXACTLY there where he had put it where it was the perfect place (“don’t touch it!�) or things that are not being used the ‘right way�, the color red (???), certain shapes, particular asymmetrical ones, that simply look wrong or scary - ffs, scary!
Many things which are insignificant or tolerable to most of us, things which I didn’t ever notice or care if I did, he can’t bear them. He has learned to surreptitiously change whatever room or environment or conversation topic he is around. My god, is he sly! I keep my silence when I see him manipulate people to change their conversation to something less personal (changes topics to in-depth discussion of weather, airplanes, cars, mechanical repairs) or move objects to a different spot or even hide them from his sight. He squares up everything - objects on a table, pictures on a wall. So casually! He seems to ONLY be interested in weather, cars and in how objects, things like radios, worked. He takes everything apart to understand its mechanisms, and sometimes loses all interest in putting it back together to the frustration of the owner of whatever device he just HAD to take apart. Every computer, or device like a remote, I have ever decided is too old to sell, he has taken apart and then tells me what every single little component must be and do. He refuses to throw away anything mechanical which is broken. He has learned to make jokes (terrible), and keep his voice relaxed, light, despite that he actually is very serious and will not tolerate dissent or disagreements without extreme annoyance, even rage. Knowing him as I do, I head off the tantrum I can see building by distraction, changing the subject.
Strangely, most people never notice his, or my, maneuvering! Only those folks who do things or go places with him a lot, and then only over a long period of time, start to see it. It’s amazing. For me, though, I can see he has memorized how to act like the majority of us in so many ways. Even so, I am asked sometimes, “is he autistic?� There was a time when no one who picked up on his quirks asked me this, they just decided he was crazy. Now, he fascinates them, but they limit their time with him sometimes. I believe he doesn’t know. He can’t ‘read� nuances or subtleties, and I have definitely had to step in on occasion to prevent a situation he is misinterpreting as disrespect or an insult. Omg, btw, satire is a trigger for rage! But most humor is quite impossible for him to truly grok, and his own natural humor is shockingly tone deaf, mean, and cruel to those who can’t follow his reasoning! So. It’s better he memorizes things to say and joke about for sure. He tells great jokes! There is a section in Robison's book about humor, and omg did this resonate with me!
To me, 'Look Me in the Eye' is absolutely authentic.
November 8, 2007
very funny book! describes bits and pieces of Asperger's, but it is not a book about Asperger's. It is a very funny life story of someone who understands that there are social mores, but has to eventually learn to do them and even as an adult remind himself to follow them. I say that it is funny because he is very light hearted about his trials and tribulations.
One thing he mentions about asperger's is the autistic spectrum, and that with his strong memories of himself as a child, he strongly feels that if he had not been around other people who offered social and intellectual stimulation for him, he may have slipped into autism. I think this is incredibly important for parents to realize and to obtain early intervention if they even suspect delays with their child.
JER further goes on to explain that as he progressed socially through the years, he lost many of his abilities. He looks at work (circuits and things) that he's done 25 years prior and knows he could never work at that level again. He writes that it was worth the trade off to be more socially accepted, and happy, pointing out that he believes that it is not that autistic kids choose to be alone and not interact, but that they want to and just can't.
One thing he mentions about asperger's is the autistic spectrum, and that with his strong memories of himself as a child, he strongly feels that if he had not been around other people who offered social and intellectual stimulation for him, he may have slipped into autism. I think this is incredibly important for parents to realize and to obtain early intervention if they even suspect delays with their child.
JER further goes on to explain that as he progressed socially through the years, he lost many of his abilities. He looks at work (circuits and things) that he's done 25 years prior and knows he could never work at that level again. He writes that it was worth the trade off to be more socially accepted, and happy, pointing out that he believes that it is not that autistic kids choose to be alone and not interact, but that they want to and just can't.
January 28, 2009
I was expecting this memoir to be an astonishing insight into Asperger's syndrome, a glimpse into the mind of the author. Instead, what I got was a bunch of semi-interesting stories about this dude's life, with the Asperger's aspect as almost an afterthought. Other reviews I've read have called Robison a "born storyteller" but I personally didn't find this to be all that engrossing. You'd think that one would be able to make touring with Kiss into a enjoyable story...but the writing was so robotic that it wasn't holding my attention very well. I suppose that's part of the syndrome itself, which is why I'm giving this a second star. It was ok.
October 21, 2008
I finished this book last week. At first I wasn't sure I'd like the book, b/c I wasn't sure I liked the author! He described a lot of what I considered to be mean spirited pranks he'd play on people, including on his little brother- who was going through his own trials and tribulations. . .Then as I read on I got to truly appreciate and admire this remarkable man. He tells a great story, honestly sharing his struggles and joys. I was relieved in many parts of the book, to learn that he was able to rise to such successes, given all the obstacles he had to face.
I think this book could be very encouraging to readers w/AS.. but it could also be perhaps discouraging too.. as the author is a high functioning Aspie, brilliant, successful, married w/a kid.. I know many people w/AS may feel that this level of functioning is unattainable for them.. There are countless Aspies who can't even make friends never mind finding a mate, who long for gainful employment but can't hold even a simple job. So my hope is that it is not discouraging to the wonderful eccentrics out there who can't attain the same level as Robison.
I think this book could be very encouraging to readers w/AS.. but it could also be perhaps discouraging too.. as the author is a high functioning Aspie, brilliant, successful, married w/a kid.. I know many people w/AS may feel that this level of functioning is unattainable for them.. There are countless Aspies who can't even make friends never mind finding a mate, who long for gainful employment but can't hold even a simple job. So my hope is that it is not discouraging to the wonderful eccentrics out there who can't attain the same level as Robison.
May 14, 2023
When I was trying to decide between 4 or 5 stars on John Elder Robison’s memoir I reminded myself how much of his personal life he reflected on and shared with everyone (without knowing what the reception would be) and it was easy to decide on 5 stars.
This is an honest telling of a man’s life from childhood to present and he shares many of his personal experiences, thoughts, struggles and victories along the way. I have more than a few close family members on the spectrum and Robison’s descriptions of this thought processes and decision making and feelings helped me understand and empathize a bit more with all other humans.
He wraps up his epilogue by saying:
“I may look and act pretty strange at times, but deep down I just want to be loved and understood for who and what I am. I want to be accepted as part of society, not an outcast or outsider. I don’t want to be a genius or a freak or something on display. I wish for empathy and compassion from those around me, and I appreciate sincerity, clarity, and logicality in other people. I believe most people - autistic or not - share this wish.�
This is an honest telling of a man’s life from childhood to present and he shares many of his personal experiences, thoughts, struggles and victories along the way. I have more than a few close family members on the spectrum and Robison’s descriptions of this thought processes and decision making and feelings helped me understand and empathize a bit more with all other humans.
He wraps up his epilogue by saying:
“I may look and act pretty strange at times, but deep down I just want to be loved and understood for who and what I am. I want to be accepted as part of society, not an outcast or outsider. I don’t want to be a genius or a freak or something on display. I wish for empathy and compassion from those around me, and I appreciate sincerity, clarity, and logicality in other people. I believe most people - autistic or not - share this wish.�
February 20, 2020
2.5 stars
Augusten Burroughs's older brother is an Aspie. This is his autobiography. He has the Aspergian tendency to wax verbose ad tedium about a single subject, so prepare to grow old and shriveled whilst he rhapsodizes about his triumphs in electronics.
Far more interesting are the parts about growing up with Asperger syndrome in an era when it had not yet been identified as a condition. He was treated like a freak, a defective, a troublemaker. "What is WRONG with you?" was the common refrain from adults and other kids all throughout his childhood and adolescence. Having read Augusten's books, I also found it interesting to view their home life from a new perspective. John is eight years older, so he was able to get away from home before the events Augusten writes about, but things were plenty insane even before he left.
Augusten Burroughs's older brother is an Aspie. This is his autobiography. He has the Aspergian tendency to wax verbose ad tedium about a single subject, so prepare to grow old and shriveled whilst he rhapsodizes about his triumphs in electronics.
Far more interesting are the parts about growing up with Asperger syndrome in an era when it had not yet been identified as a condition. He was treated like a freak, a defective, a troublemaker. "What is WRONG with you?" was the common refrain from adults and other kids all throughout his childhood and adolescence. Having read Augusten's books, I also found it interesting to view their home life from a new perspective. John is eight years older, so he was able to get away from home before the events Augusten writes about, but things were plenty insane even before he left.
November 7, 2007
Haven't read Augusten Burroughs' books so didn't feel a connection on that level.
Sorry the author had a crappy childhood (like a lot of kids w/alcoholic parents) and that he had a tough time socially (like a lot of kids) but this guy has had a way more successful life than almost anyone I know ...
Not 1 but 3 amazingly successful lucrative careers, not 1 but 2 deep and meaningful long-term relationships, a great kid, a beautiful house ...
Am I supposed to feel sorry for this guy because he's a genius w/Asperger's? I dunno. Not particularly detailed, pretty much straight narrative. Easy to read. Best part was when he was designing exploding guitars for the band Kiss.
Overall, eh.
Sorry the author had a crappy childhood (like a lot of kids w/alcoholic parents) and that he had a tough time socially (like a lot of kids) but this guy has had a way more successful life than almost anyone I know ...
Not 1 but 3 amazingly successful lucrative careers, not 1 but 2 deep and meaningful long-term relationships, a great kid, a beautiful house ...
Am I supposed to feel sorry for this guy because he's a genius w/Asperger's? I dunno. Not particularly detailed, pretty much straight narrative. Easy to read. Best part was when he was designing exploding guitars for the band Kiss.
Overall, eh.
May 6, 2015
I did a whole bloody review and it disappeared.
When I stop being cross about it I will write a proper one. Maybe.
I wish there was an automatic save function as there is on some blogging sites.
Hate hate hate losing a review.
When I stop being cross about it I will write a proper one. Maybe.
I wish there was an automatic save function as there is on some blogging sites.
Hate hate hate losing a review.
February 17, 2016
Reviewing this book will be a complex affair; I gave it four stars but I wouldn't say I "liked" or "enjoyed" it. It was certainly educational, about Aspies yes, but also about humanity in general. The book often made me angry, however, with its characteristic habits (which I find among "normal" men as well as Aspies) of blowing off anything that he personally wasn't interested in or good at as unimportant... and by chronically lumping all "normal" people as possessing certain characteristics. Many "normal" people experience the same sufferings that he describes, only we suck it up and learn to cope, or pretend to cope. And not all "normal" people prefer platitudes to actual conversation -- and when we do, it is often for a functional reason. So I hope he gets off his "actually, this is better" place, and grows up some more.
So the book was often infuriating.
But maybe that's just me.
I will have to think about that. I do hope to review it eventually, but for now I'm really glad I've finally finished it.
I read the paperback, which apparently has been "cleaned up" in terms of language compared to the original hardcover. The hardcover has been left raw. So read them both if you like.
So the book was often infuriating.
But maybe that's just me.
I will have to think about that. I do hope to review it eventually, but for now I'm really glad I've finally finished it.
I read the paperback, which apparently has been "cleaned up" in terms of language compared to the original hardcover. The hardcover has been left raw. So read them both if you like.
October 10, 2016
A beautifully written memoir. I read this before Running with Scissors and I feel this book is SO much better. John Elder's life is like an epic myth. Escaping a troubled childhood, touring with bands, making pyrotechnics for Kiss, and making toys. I grew up in the 70's and experienced first hand everything he worked on. So cool! Even though he quit school, he came to understand how he relates to the world and builds an incredible life. I could relate to many ways he saw the world and how he explained his thinking. I am a better teacher and better human being having read this book. Touching, humorous, and enlightening. I strongly recommend.
November 12, 2010
I really enjoyed this book. It was insightful, witty, and entertaining. I'm sending it on to a friend whose son has Asperger's. I'm watching Running with Scissors again as there were many references to it in the book.
June 10, 2009
"Look me in the eye," is something John Robinson grew up hearing. He was constantly told that he would end up as a criminal, him having shifty eyes and all, and what did he have to hide?
Unfortunately for John, Asperger's Syndrome wasn't widely known when he was growing up. In his time, the only autism that was "seen" was the extreme cases, the ones that were locked away in worlds of their own, that couldn't function in society at all.
I was drawn to this book for a few reasons. The first being that I loved the cover and the title. The second, that my own little Superman has been diagnosed with autism and I wanted to learn more from the humanistic standpoint.
This book chronicles his life as an undiagnosed Aspergian. There are some very painful moments, but his wit and humor kept me glued to my seat--excuse the cliche--and I finished it in nearly one sitting. He explains how he thought, how he saw the world, and how the world saw him. He states that some have said that people with Asperger's (or autism) have no desire to interact socially with others. He corrects this way of thinking. He wanted to interact, would loved to have been accepted, but didn't know how. He eventually quit trying because he couldn't take any more rejections from the children he was trying to make friends with.
His life took some wild curves and turns, and it wasn't until he was in his 40s that he was diagnosed with Asperger's. His life was unbelievable, but completely human at the same time. And something he's learned since writing this book and doing book tours is that it's a common thing for humans to yearn for acceptance, even as they feel rejection. And no one is immune.
I loved the humor. My favorite part was when he was determined to make friends with Chuckie. He decided that to introduce himself, he would pet her on the head. His reasoning is that dogs liked it, it's how they made friends, and that he liked it. It calmed him down and soothed him when his mom would rub his head and arm at night. Her reaction wasn't quite what he was going for. She smacked him. Undeterred, but confused, he decided to try again, this time with a stick. His reasoning was that if she couldn't reach him, she couldn't smack him. Unfortunately, the teacher didn't see it that way. >.<
There is a bit of language, and his life addresses some serious issues: abuse (family), mental illnesses, alcholism, drugs (he made guitars for KISS) and all the things that go with traveling with rock stars, bullying, and dropping out of school. The paperback is a revised version that he pruposefully cleaned up the language for because he knew there might be younger people reading his book.
My only quibble was that it ended. I loved the book and hope he writes more in the future.
My favorite line: "It's not a disease. It doesn't need curing. It's just how you are."
5 out of 5 stars
Unfortunately for John, Asperger's Syndrome wasn't widely known when he was growing up. In his time, the only autism that was "seen" was the extreme cases, the ones that were locked away in worlds of their own, that couldn't function in society at all.
I was drawn to this book for a few reasons. The first being that I loved the cover and the title. The second, that my own little Superman has been diagnosed with autism and I wanted to learn more from the humanistic standpoint.
This book chronicles his life as an undiagnosed Aspergian. There are some very painful moments, but his wit and humor kept me glued to my seat--excuse the cliche--and I finished it in nearly one sitting. He explains how he thought, how he saw the world, and how the world saw him. He states that some have said that people with Asperger's (or autism) have no desire to interact socially with others. He corrects this way of thinking. He wanted to interact, would loved to have been accepted, but didn't know how. He eventually quit trying because he couldn't take any more rejections from the children he was trying to make friends with.
His life took some wild curves and turns, and it wasn't until he was in his 40s that he was diagnosed with Asperger's. His life was unbelievable, but completely human at the same time. And something he's learned since writing this book and doing book tours is that it's a common thing for humans to yearn for acceptance, even as they feel rejection. And no one is immune.
I loved the humor. My favorite part was when he was determined to make friends with Chuckie. He decided that to introduce himself, he would pet her on the head. His reasoning is that dogs liked it, it's how they made friends, and that he liked it. It calmed him down and soothed him when his mom would rub his head and arm at night. Her reaction wasn't quite what he was going for. She smacked him. Undeterred, but confused, he decided to try again, this time with a stick. His reasoning was that if she couldn't reach him, she couldn't smack him. Unfortunately, the teacher didn't see it that way. >.<
There is a bit of language, and his life addresses some serious issues: abuse (family), mental illnesses, alcholism, drugs (he made guitars for KISS) and all the things that go with traveling with rock stars, bullying, and dropping out of school. The paperback is a revised version that he pruposefully cleaned up the language for because he knew there might be younger people reading his book.
My only quibble was that it ended. I loved the book and hope he writes more in the future.
My favorite line: "It's not a disease. It doesn't need curing. It's just how you are."
5 out of 5 stars
March 3, 2009
I really enjoyed this book. Several times I laughed out loud, and then was stumped how to answer my son's question, "What's so funny, Momma?"
"Well, son, he sent a blow up doll to his crappy teacher."
Or:
"You see, Sam, he shot a snake that was slithering around outside his hotel room."
No, none of those would do.
While I loved reading the many misadventures of Robison, I also felt a great deal of sorrow; for his troubled childhood and for how misunderstood he was as a person with Asperger's.
The true value in this book is that Robison educates readers on Asperger's. How differently Aspergians (his word) view the world, and while they may seem cold and unaware, they are not.
"Well, son, he sent a blow up doll to his crappy teacher."
Or:
"You see, Sam, he shot a snake that was slithering around outside his hotel room."
No, none of those would do.
While I loved reading the many misadventures of Robison, I also felt a great deal of sorrow; for his troubled childhood and for how misunderstood he was as a person with Asperger's.
The true value in this book is that Robison educates readers on Asperger's. How differently Aspergians (his word) view the world, and while they may seem cold and unaware, they are not.
September 13, 2007
This is one of the best books I've read all year - and the cover is fantastic too. I've been reading the author's blog (jerobison.blogspot.com) and find myself wanting to read the book again. It's really one guy's story about trying to get through life - but he happens to be Augusten Burrough's brother, he worked for KISS for several years and he has Asperger's - well-written, clever and funny in so many ways.
February 23, 2008
I've been looking for a book like this since summer when my 10-year-old was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. I was confused about what his future prospects were. What could I expect? Would he be living with me the rest of his life? Could he be productive in society? Since that time I have heard of other Aspergians who have been successful to varying degrees but have never talked to one about their experiences. "Look me in the eye" gives that viewpoint in rich detail from a man who not only has experienced it but who can insightfully explain why he responded the way he did in certain situations. He has the ability to step through his thought process to pinpoint where his thinking differs from the "Normal" person. And it all makes sense. So much so that I first began wondering if his way of thinking didn't make more sense, then wondering if Aspergian aren't more normal than the normal person, and finally, "Maybe I'm a bit Aspergerish myself."
Not everyone will be able to relate to his life (from a fairly normal family, to an abusive family, to severely mentally handicapped parents, out of school at 16, and with KISS by age 18) but his struggles with relationships and understanding are universal. The only caveat I would mention is the language is rather rough throughout the book, and if you have a son who is already predispositioned toward sick and elaborate practical jokes, don't let him read this. However, if you are a parent of an Aspergian, this should be required reading.
Not everyone will be able to relate to his life (from a fairly normal family, to an abusive family, to severely mentally handicapped parents, out of school at 16, and with KISS by age 18) but his struggles with relationships and understanding are universal. The only caveat I would mention is the language is rather rough throughout the book, and if you have a son who is already predispositioned toward sick and elaborate practical jokes, don't let him read this. However, if you are a parent of an Aspergian, this should be required reading.
April 12, 2015
This book was a bit odd. It wasn't really about Asperger's as much as it was the story of Robison's life thus far - he wasn't diagnosed with any type of autistic disorder until he was in his later 30s. There were parts that were quite interesting, but nothing seemed really cohesive. Not bad, exactly, just not great.
****4/15 - This book was so unmemorable to me, I accidentally rebought it when it was the Kindle Deal of the Day. Crap.
****4/15 - This book was so unmemorable to me, I accidentally rebought it when it was the Kindle Deal of the Day. Crap.
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May 19, 2008I'm the author of Look Me in the Eye. I'm available to answer questions here and at my blog,
May 7, 2008
I was just saying the other day that it's interesting to read the family connection between John Elder Robison and his more well-known writing sibling; you can see a literary resemblance between John and his brother. Reading this book is like reading Augusten, if Augusten had Asperger's, if that makes any sense.
Aside from being highly entertaining in its own right as a memoir, I found this highly educational as an inside glimpse into the mind of someone with Asperger's. The most striking thing I took away from it mirrors the initial insight I got from reading Born on a Blue Day (an incredibly moving book, btw)--that people with Asperger's and with autism really want and crave connections with other people, and that it's incredibly frustrating to them that they can't decipher the social codes that allow them to make those connections.
This may not be an insight to some, but for myself I have to say that I had always assumed that it was a function of people with autism-spectrum disorder that they didn't enjoy interacting with others. That they do, and in many instance can't or have to fight so hard to make it happen, is profoundly sad to me. It would be easier, certainly, if it were just that the connections were unwanted. Sad as it may be, learning otherwise added a new dimension of compassion to my understanding of these disorders.
Back to John Robison--he's a funny guy, and it's hard to tell if it's intentional all the time, but I'll take it.
Aside from being highly entertaining in its own right as a memoir, I found this highly educational as an inside glimpse into the mind of someone with Asperger's. The most striking thing I took away from it mirrors the initial insight I got from reading Born on a Blue Day (an incredibly moving book, btw)--that people with Asperger's and with autism really want and crave connections with other people, and that it's incredibly frustrating to them that they can't decipher the social codes that allow them to make those connections.
This may not be an insight to some, but for myself I have to say that I had always assumed that it was a function of people with autism-spectrum disorder that they didn't enjoy interacting with others. That they do, and in many instance can't or have to fight so hard to make it happen, is profoundly sad to me. It would be easier, certainly, if it were just that the connections were unwanted. Sad as it may be, learning otherwise added a new dimension of compassion to my understanding of these disorders.
Back to John Robison--he's a funny guy, and it's hard to tell if it's intentional all the time, but I'll take it.
March 30, 2024
Turns out I'd read this before, but didn't remember it. Picked it up again after reading this author’s "Be Different" and unfortunately, since "Be Different" rehashes a lot of the material that is in "Look Me In The Eye" it is not to be recommended to read these books in that order.
Perhaps I've just read too many “life in the spectrum� books, but in my opinion, this Asperger’s memoir does not stand out in the genre.
Some readers will have encountered this writer as the brother in “Running With Scissors�.
Perhaps I've just read too many “life in the spectrum� books, but in my opinion, this Asperger’s memoir does not stand out in the genre.
Some readers will have encountered this writer as the brother in “Running With Scissors�.
October 24, 2013
Asperger's is not a disease. It's a way of being. There is no cure, nor is there a need for one.
I've read quite a bit of Augusten Burroughs -- for the most part when his various books first came out -- so although I have a pretty good mental picture of the neglect and chaos that surrounded his childhood, I really couldn't remember that he even had an older brother. I suppose that's understandable since Burroughs and John Elder Robison, author of , were born eight years apart and they have both written that it was as though they were raised in totally different families: When Robison was little, his parents weren't yet at war, his mother not yet descended into madness and his father not an alcoholic. Even still, Robison's early years were not happy: He has Asperger's, undiagnosed until he was forty, and what was natural behaviour for him was labelled stupid, lazy and obstinate by his parents and teachers -- and just weird by his fellow kids.
The title refers to the fact that Robison has a problem holding others' gaze while being spoken to -- "I don't really understand why it's considered normal to stare at someone's eyeballs" -- and in many other ways as he grew up, he was unable to crack the code of interacting with other people. What I found fascinating, and quite sad, was how badly he wanted that interaction -- I have very little intimate experience with Asperger's and the Autism Spectrum, but from what I think I know, aren't Aspergians supposed to prefer to be alone, to shun the company of others? For the first hand insight that this book gives into Asperger's, this is a valuable resource. (And I should remember that Autism is a spectrum, which means, perhaps, not all Aspergians share Robison's views or desires.)
What Robison did enjoy as a youth was a near savant-like ability to understand electronics. While he learned most of what he knew from books and interacting with clubs and labs at the University where his father taught, he developed an extra sense that allowed him to visualise the phenomena for which he didn't understand the mechanics. He turned this into a gift for repairing and modifying amplifiers, eventually doing work for Pink Floyd, and when he met Ace Frehley of Kiss, he was soon hired to modify his guitars with light and smoke effects. When he grew tired of the Rock and Roll lifestyle, Robison became one of the first electronic engineers for Milton-Bradley, and when he grew tired of the corporate life, he taught himself to repair foreign cars and opened a car lot/garage (which he still owns today, apparently a great success -- not bad for a high school dropout).
In Look Me in the Eye, Robison recounts pretty much his entire life from first memories to his two marriages and the birth of his son. The biographical information alone was interesting enough -- not everyone will tour with Kiss -- but it was the inside information on Asperger's that I found the most fascinating. Robison explains that he believes in a plasticity of the brain, citing certain times in his life that were critical for its development, and as horrifying as his childhood became, he always got just enough stimulation to prevent him from withdrawing totally into himself. I was most especially intrigued when he said that as a teenager, obsessed with electronics and studying how it all worked, it was as though he were standing in front of two doors: one that would lead him out into the world to use his knowledge and the other that would lead him to becoming a recluse. It was only thanks to his family, to the madness that drove Robison away from home, that he was forced to choose the first door; to find a way to interact with society at large. With another perspective on how their dysfunctional family life was a boon for his brother, Burroughs wrote in :
Sometimes I wonder if his life would have been easier if my parents had taken him to a doctor instead of just assuming he was cold and emotionally blocked. But then I remind myself that my parents had very questionable taste when it came to choosing medical professionals. With this in mind, I like to think that my brother wasn't so much overlooked as he was inadvertently protected.
Imagine that -- just when Robison needed it, his crazy home life saved him from something worse. Getting back to the idea of plasticity, Robison says that in a critical period in adulthood, when he decided to leave the world of electronics and concentrate on relationships (particularly with his first wife and child), the changes this made in his brain has left him now unable to understand the technical writings he himself had done twenty-five years earlier. Imagine that.
For the most part, I did enjoy Look Me in the Eye. I was a little disturbed by Robison's recounting of the pranks that he pulled off over the years -- and it's one thing to upset the police and fire departments by hanging a mannequin from a power tower in the woods over a burning pentagram in the middle of the night as a teenager, but it's pretty cruel to tell your young son that Santa is an alcoholic fugitive who operates a freight crane in the off season, skimming toys for a profit to support his various bad habits. Also, I understand that this book was written by a person with Asperger's and the language he chooses is a useful insight into the workings of his brain, but some things grew tiresome -- his son was hatched…at the hatchery…among the other hatchlings…or the people close to him are described as having paws and claws and fur -- I think a sensitive editor could have helped with this.
The Epilogue was surprisingly touching, though. Robison writes with emotion about the final illness and loss of his father and how they were able to reconcile before his death. That loss prompted him to write Look Me in the Eye, and after sharing the transcript with his mother, they were able to improve their relationship as well.
My overall impression is that this was interesting and informative, but maybe not a perfect book. I see that Robison has two other books (one that appears to be a how-to manual for Aspergians and one that goes further into his relationship with his hatchling) but I can't see me reading those; Look Me in the Eye covers those topics without enticing me to want to learn more. I hate to begin and end with Augusten Burroughs when reviewing a book by his brother, but one of the things I enjoyed the most was the light this book threw on what Burroughs has written about before. For example, Robison writes:
My father had been drinking for quite a while, but now he picked up the pace. The empty bottles began accumulating under the kitchen table. They lined the wall, and when we went to the dump, they filled the back of the car. They were not little bottles either; they were gallon jugs.
And in , Burroughs wrote:
My apartment is my secret. It's filled with empty liquor bottles. Not five or six. More like three hundred. Three hundred one-liter bottles of scotch…And when I used to drink beer instead of scotch, the beer bottles would collect. I counted the beer bottles once: one thousand, four hundred and fifty-two.
So that habit didn't come out of thin air�
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