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Before You Go
In this “dazzling debut� (Publishers Weekly), the moving story of one man’s quest for happiness is interwoven with speculative tales of the Before and After, resulting in a profound yet playful literary journey into the ache and wonder of being human.
In the Before, humankind is created with a hole in its heart, the designers not realizing their mistake—if it was a mistake—until too late.
Elliot Chance is just a boy, and knows nothing of this. All he knows is that he doesn’t feel at home in this world, and his desire for escape becomes more urgent as he grows into adulthood, where the turbulence of life seems to offer no cure for the emptiness. Desperate and lost, he stumbles upon a support group on the edge of Manhattan. There he meets two other drifting souls—Sasha, a young woman who leaves coded messages in the copy she writes for advertising campaigns, and Bannor, whose detailed depictions of the future make Elliot think he may have actually been there. With these two unlikely allies, Elliot launches into the business of life, determined to be happy in spite of himself.
Yet the hole in the heart is not so easily filled.
In the Before, humankind is created with a hole in its heart, the designers not realizing their mistake—if it was a mistake—until too late.
Elliot Chance is just a boy, and knows nothing of this. All he knows is that he doesn’t feel at home in this world, and his desire for escape becomes more urgent as he grows into adulthood, where the turbulence of life seems to offer no cure for the emptiness. Desperate and lost, he stumbles upon a support group on the edge of Manhattan. There he meets two other drifting souls—Sasha, a young woman who leaves coded messages in the copy she writes for advertising campaigns, and Bannor, whose detailed depictions of the future make Elliot think he may have actually been there. With these two unlikely allies, Elliot launches into the business of life, determined to be happy in spite of himself.
Yet the hole in the heart is not so easily filled.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published August 11, 2020
129 people are currently reading
8957 people want to read
About the author
Tommy Butler
1book129followersTommy Butler was raised in Stamford, Connecticut, and has since called many places home, including New Hampshire, San Diego, Boston, New York City, and San Francisco. A graduate of Dartmouth College and Harvard Law School, he was a Peter Taylor Fellow at the Kenyon Review Writers Workshop and is an alumnus of the Screenwriters Colony (now Almanack Screenwriters.) His feature screenplay, Etopia, was the winner of Showtime's Tony Cox Screenplay Competition at the Nantucket Film Festival.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 197 reviews
October 3, 2020
Loved it! Elliot was such a great character and I was completely drawn into his world - his loneliness, his struggles, his imagination. The moments of “before� and “after� perfectly complimented the storyline. I was a bit wary of the description that said “sci-fi�, but it was not what I expected. Be forewarned that the book deals with suicide. The author, though, has such a beautiful, lyrical prose that I found myself highlighting many passages.
From the simple: “My heart cares about your heart.�
To the simply haunting: “There’s a particular ache that results when a person is right there next to you but feels a universe away � a loneliness that is somehow unbecoming, given that you’re not alone.�
And the simply wishful: “If you’re lucky, people will love you in the way they know how. And if you’re really lucky, the love they can give will be the love you need.�
From the simple: “My heart cares about your heart.�
To the simply haunting: “There’s a particular ache that results when a person is right there next to you but feels a universe away � a loneliness that is somehow unbecoming, given that you’re not alone.�
And the simply wishful: “If you’re lucky, people will love you in the way they know how. And if you’re really lucky, the love they can give will be the love you need.�
December 13, 2020
This is my favorite kind of book: not afraid to tussle with life’s biggest questions about purpose and meaning but does so without taking itself too seriously. This book is an important book but it isn’t self-important. It tackles heavy themes (suicide and life after death) but does so with a light touch. I adored everything about this book and though it was about the difficult questions about choosing to carry on, ultimately I found it redemptive and an ode to the beautiful heartache that is life itself.
October 18, 2020
Oh my God. This was absolutely marvellous. I adored adored, adore that novel.
October 27, 2020
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Tommy Butler. This brilliant and beautiful novel really just blew
me away. It’s prose is striking, it’s tone both meditative and bold and it’s characters so completely real and resonant. I applaud the author for capturing so much poetry and “realness� in the depictions of growing up, family dynamincs, aging, reoccurring suicidal thoughts and how all these things keep swirling around in Elliot’s inner monologue seamlessly as his journey progresses. The “vignettes� perfectly nestled and woven throughout the main narrative are thought provoking, life affirming and reflective. This sad l, moving and heartbreaking novel was an incredibly rewarding reading experience that will stay with me for a very long time.
me away. It’s prose is striking, it’s tone both meditative and bold and it’s characters so completely real and resonant. I applaud the author for capturing so much poetry and “realness� in the depictions of growing up, family dynamincs, aging, reoccurring suicidal thoughts and how all these things keep swirling around in Elliot’s inner monologue seamlessly as his journey progresses. The “vignettes� perfectly nestled and woven throughout the main narrative are thought provoking, life affirming and reflective. This sad l, moving and heartbreaking novel was an incredibly rewarding reading experience that will stay with me for a very long time.
August 26, 2020
Finished this book a few weeks ago and plan to read it again. Thoughtful and introspective, it is written in a light manner and as a result I found it a fairly quick read. There were moments where I literally laughed out loud. Despite the playfulness, the writing style is extremely beautiful and even poetic at times. I was kept guessing how it would all come together in the end. This book will stay with me for a long time. Great debut, Tommy!
August 24, 2020
2.5
The writing style is gorgeous and I enjoyed the myriad of themes the author explored in the book, but the plot itself felt too insubstantial and hollow for my liking. In the frame story, things would just...happen for no discernible reason.
Also, I wasn’t in love with any of the characters � the narrator and supporting cast have the collective personality of wallpaper paste, to be perfectly honest. I also felt like this book was trying to juggle too many things, and wished the author stuck with a central idea and explored it in-depth rather than attempting to be profound in all manner of topics.
Tonally, the book also felt off � the beginning reads like a classic hero-falls-down-the-rabbit-hole fairytale, the middle a gritty New York period piece following a disillusioned Everyman stuck in a dead-end corporate job, and the ending a philosophical literary drama about life. The chapters were also interspersed with...sci-fi snippets? Told through a side character we barely know of/care about? What?
However, I will say, for a debut, it’s a passable story. A little more organization and coherence in the plot would go a long way. I’d pick up another book by the author for the writing style alone � it’s one of the book’s few saving graces.
The writing style is gorgeous and I enjoyed the myriad of themes the author explored in the book, but the plot itself felt too insubstantial and hollow for my liking. In the frame story, things would just...happen for no discernible reason.
Also, I wasn’t in love with any of the characters � the narrator and supporting cast have the collective personality of wallpaper paste, to be perfectly honest. I also felt like this book was trying to juggle too many things, and wished the author stuck with a central idea and explored it in-depth rather than attempting to be profound in all manner of topics.
Tonally, the book also felt off � the beginning reads like a classic hero-falls-down-the-rabbit-hole fairytale, the middle a gritty New York period piece following a disillusioned Everyman stuck in a dead-end corporate job, and the ending a philosophical literary drama about life. The chapters were also interspersed with...sci-fi snippets? Told through a side character we barely know of/care about? What?
However, I will say, for a debut, it’s a passable story. A little more organization and coherence in the plot would go a long way. I’d pick up another book by the author for the writing style alone � it’s one of the book’s few saving graces.
January 27, 2020
Thank you. That was intense and beautiful.
September 19, 2020
Wow. The most beautiful book about life and death and suicide that I never knew I needed. Do yourself a favor and read this 🙌🏻👏🏻👏🏻
June 2, 2020
This is a really beautiful book that explores the human condition and human nature in its many forms. It explores themes of loneliness, yearning to connect, the cost of happiness. The story is very imaginative and moving but not cheesy. I read one review that called it profound and yet playful and those two words, I found, are quite accurate descriptions. Excited to see more from this author. Thanks to Netgalley for my ARC.
October 1, 2020
Beautifully written. The story and the way it's articulated is so poetic. There is both beauty and sadness in every line. As someone who loves philosophy this book really was of great interest to me. The view of life and how it should be lived expands across many points of view and opened doors to different perspectives for me. The story itself was also so real and so raw, a life of tragedy within beauty and fulfillment. Loved it!
January 1, 2021
"If you are lucky, people will love you in the way they know how. And if you're really lucky, the love they can give will be the love you need."
A great book to start off the year, it was a very interesting read, it made me pause and think about my own life. I don't re-read books but I'll definitely re-read this one.
A great book to start off the year, it was a very interesting read, it made me pause and think about my own life. I don't re-read books but I'll definitely re-read this one.
February 19, 2021
Spent 45 minutes writing a beautiful review of this incredible book and ŷ went down before it posted. Don’t have the heart to redo it right now. But this is beautifully written.
November 21, 2020
Truly one of the best books I’ve read this year.
In its most basic form, this book is about the meaning of life and how we choose to spend it.
In its most basic form, this book is about the meaning of life and how we choose to spend it.
September 29, 2021
5 “My heart cares about your heart� Stars
I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that this dazzling, stunning, and insightful novel is ’s debut. Before you go took me by surprise and kept me enchanted, charmed, but also wounded the whole time. I wouldn’t get enough of it.
is definitely a character-driven story that follows Elliot Chance’s journey as he navigates life searching for the meaning of being human and looking for happiness, love, and a place where he feels seen, understood, and welcomed.
Compassion is perilous. When there is nothing left of you but an empty vessel, a black hole, immune to the blows of life—the loneliness and confusion, the profound disappointment, the anger—it is the kind word that breaches the event horizon, that rips your heart back open, that compels you to once again suffer the concussion of your existence
We first see Elliot as a boy with big dreams of other worlds and enchanted lands and then we follow him as he stumbles through life feeling this emptiness inside of him, an emptiness that keeps him from feeling fulfilled, from being completely and unconditionally understood. As we stumble with him through his life while he struggles to fill that void inside him with work, love, family, and friendship, we see him grow and change and despair but we also see him fall in love, connect and succeed.
Through the ups and downs of his life, we get a glimpse of what being human really means and how the inevitable feeling of loss can break up or drive us to feel more, to love more, and to live more.
There's a particular ache that results when a person is right there next to you but feels a universe away—a loneliness that is somehow unbecoming, given that you're not alone.
is a groundbreaking story that mixes elements of magical realism, fantasy and speculative fiction into a tale of humanity and beauty. Alternating between The life of Elliot and the before and after chapters, The story takes us on a wild, an intimate, and profound journey from creation to letting go, and it’s filled with moments of awe and anguish in equal measures.
If you’re lucky, people will love you in the way they know-how. And if you’re really lucky, the love they can give will be the love you need.
It was so easy for me to fall in love with the story right from the start with a sense of wonder that kept me hooked. I was deeply invested in everything that happened with and to Elliot; a character I couldn’t help but relate to and root for from the depths of my soul. The author easily balanced the feeling of melancholy and the joy of life in his story with his beautiful writing, complex characters, and engaging dynamics.
I really can’t recommend this book enough; It was sublime, poignant, and raw; definitely, a must-read.
“Life is in the living," say the brass. "There is no way to fail.�
December 22, 2020
A JD Salinger vibe, with an element of fable. Tackling the loaded theme of emptiness. Felt pain and joy while reading. “If you’re lucky people will love you in the way they know how, and if you’re really lucky the love they can give will be the love you need�
December 22, 2020
Original, profound, compassionate ... and a superb origin story.
I'd hope for a movie, except they'd probably butcher it.
I'd hope for a movie, except they'd probably butcher it.
August 8, 2020
I haven’t read a book like Before You Go by Tommy Butler in a long time (or maybe ever!). It’s a unique speculative fiction novel that deftly explores the meaning of life.
The protagonist, Elliot Chance, starts out as a young boy. He spends his time catching leaves with his brother and playing baseball. But soon, his childhood experiences become less ordinary. He starts seeing what he believes are benevolent monsters, and the way he feels about the world begins to shift.
We follow him from boyhood until his death. In between, we get glimpses into what seems to be a collection of the beings who created humankind. Somehow, by accident, they made a mistake (or is it?) by leaving a whole in the human heart that’s difficult to fill.
This book blew me away. It’s a powerful novel, especially for those of us who have ever felt adrift or unsure about our purpose in this world. I love how Butler was able to drill down to the particulars of one man’s story, while also successfully covering such a sweeping, over-arching theme: what it is to be human.
It is literary fiction, so don’t go into this expecting a high-octane, heavily plot-driven story. But please don’t take that to mean it’s boring � not in the least. I enjoyed every moment; even those that were bittersweet. And despite the more serious subject matter, there were many moments that were playful and humorous.
While I (fortunately) don’t relate to everything the main character felt or experienced, many parts of the story made me feel seen. Butler has this incredible way of writing that pulls you in to even the most mundane-seeming experience, and makes you realize it’s actually quite profound (and SO relatable).
Before You Go was an emotional and fascinating speculation on the human experience. This story will stick with me for a long time, and I’m incredibly grateful to have read it. Highly recommended!
(Especially recommended for fans of David Mitchell, Margaret Atwood, Kazuo Ishiguro, and Emily St. John Mandel.)
**Thank you to Harper Books for the review copy!
The protagonist, Elliot Chance, starts out as a young boy. He spends his time catching leaves with his brother and playing baseball. But soon, his childhood experiences become less ordinary. He starts seeing what he believes are benevolent monsters, and the way he feels about the world begins to shift.
We follow him from boyhood until his death. In between, we get glimpses into what seems to be a collection of the beings who created humankind. Somehow, by accident, they made a mistake (or is it?) by leaving a whole in the human heart that’s difficult to fill.
This book blew me away. It’s a powerful novel, especially for those of us who have ever felt adrift or unsure about our purpose in this world. I love how Butler was able to drill down to the particulars of one man’s story, while also successfully covering such a sweeping, over-arching theme: what it is to be human.
It is literary fiction, so don’t go into this expecting a high-octane, heavily plot-driven story. But please don’t take that to mean it’s boring � not in the least. I enjoyed every moment; even those that were bittersweet. And despite the more serious subject matter, there were many moments that were playful and humorous.
While I (fortunately) don’t relate to everything the main character felt or experienced, many parts of the story made me feel seen. Butler has this incredible way of writing that pulls you in to even the most mundane-seeming experience, and makes you realize it’s actually quite profound (and SO relatable).
Before You Go was an emotional and fascinating speculation on the human experience. This story will stick with me for a long time, and I’m incredibly grateful to have read it. Highly recommended!
(Especially recommended for fans of David Mitchell, Margaret Atwood, Kazuo Ishiguro, and Emily St. John Mandel.)
**Thank you to Harper Books for the review copy!
October 20, 2020
Before You Go was an extraordinary story, but unfortunately it's not one whose details are sticking with me very well... When I pick it up and skim through a few pages, some of it comes back to me, but even without doing that, I know it was a really great story and absolutely worth reading. It's really rare for me to say this, but I think it would even be worth reading more than once. Every time I look at it and struggle to remember exactly what happened, but do remember that I loved it while I was reading it, I want to read it again. The book is definitely a keeper, and made me feel a little better about my uncertainties in life while I was reading it.
Note: I received this book for free through ŷ Giveaways.
Note: I received this book for free through ŷ Giveaways.
January 5, 2021
I really enjoyed the book. Tommy Butler did a great job at tying different themes together. The way he sectioned the different chapters and concepts of death together. Though a bit abstract, I understand the world he was piecing together.
I wish I could write this review and do the book justice. I don’t often read fiction, I prefer books with lessons and ideas, usually self help books. I won the book in a give away. Somehow books about death end up in my library, a common contemplated subject in my life so I appreciate being able to read the book.
I wish I could write this review and do the book justice. I don’t often read fiction, I prefer books with lessons and ideas, usually self help books. I won the book in a give away. Somehow books about death end up in my library, a common contemplated subject in my life so I appreciate being able to read the book.
October 16, 2020
A beautiful book which deals with very depressing issues of suicide and love. I never enjoy when they glorrify this horrific condition or event but the author, Tommy Butler does a great job. Would recommend
October 21, 2020
Filled with wonder
This book was so interesting and unlike any other that I have read... it left me contemplating ideas about life (& death); what is valuable (vs perception). Truly had me in a state of wonder...may have to read this one again!
This book was so interesting and unlike any other that I have read... it left me contemplating ideas about life (& death); what is valuable (vs perception). Truly had me in a state of wonder...may have to read this one again!
November 13, 2020
“If you’re lucky, people will love you in the way they know how. And if you’re really lucky, the love they can give will be the love you need.�
I know I’m going to reread this book again. Reminded me of “The Giver� meets “The Book Thief� in some ways. I loved it.
I know I’m going to reread this book again. Reminded me of “The Giver� meets “The Book Thief� in some ways. I loved it.
November 14, 2020
A brilliant book beyond amazing,a book about emotions,perception and acceptance .
about learning to be alive through a strong desire of death ,of giving up ,of suicide.
A book about life
January 11, 2021
Excellent writing. A subtle conversation of what makes us human. Who or what created humans? What happens after we die? Butler takes a hard, often combative, topic and weaves his reader through ideas and scenarios so quietly, the reader cannot be angry, instead contemplative. After finishing, I feel I must find someone to talk to about this novel!
September 9, 2020
My Highly Caffeinated Thought: A candid look at life and death mixed with a unique view on what came before we are who we are.
What do you say about a book like BEFORE YOU GO? It is one of those rare novels that push the boundaries of how you perceive our existence. It explores so many facets of human emotions while looking at the choices we make.
What I found most compelling about this story is the realness and the grit within the prose. Elliot’s life and his view on it were never once sugar-coated. The way he lived within the book felt authentic to what we all experience on some level. Then you add into the narrative a hint of the great beyond with the designers and how they created us all with a hole near our hearts so that we would want to leave earth when it was our time. Somehow, it all works well.
Through eloquent writing, a bit of imagination, and a true grounding in the real world, BEFORE YOU GO will make your heartbreak while at the same time offer hope. It truly celebrates all the aspects of what being human means.
Reviewer Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Highly Caffeinated Rating of� � � � �
� � � �
Follow the Highly Caffeinated Victoria Colotta:
| | | | ŷ
� � � �
What do you say about a book like BEFORE YOU GO? It is one of those rare novels that push the boundaries of how you perceive our existence. It explores so many facets of human emotions while looking at the choices we make.
What I found most compelling about this story is the realness and the grit within the prose. Elliot’s life and his view on it were never once sugar-coated. The way he lived within the book felt authentic to what we all experience on some level. Then you add into the narrative a hint of the great beyond with the designers and how they created us all with a hole near our hearts so that we would want to leave earth when it was our time. Somehow, it all works well.
Through eloquent writing, a bit of imagination, and a true grounding in the real world, BEFORE YOU GO will make your heartbreak while at the same time offer hope. It truly celebrates all the aspects of what being human means.
Reviewer Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Highly Caffeinated Rating of� � � � �
� � � �
Follow the Highly Caffeinated Victoria Colotta:
| | | | ŷ
� � � �
September 21, 2020
What an absolutely beautiful debut! Filled with heartache and searing truths, Butler takes us on a journey that fans of The Giver and The Alchemist will enjoy, with philosophical questioning and nuggets of of what life is really all about sprinkled within. Elliot Chance is a character who will wind his way into your heart as he ponders his existence to patch what’s missing in his. While navigating serious mental health issues like suicide and raw emotions of pain and loneliness, it’s ultimately an incredible story of all the beauty and imperfections that make life worth living and what it means to be human.
November 15, 2020
Only vague spoilers ahead. This book was exquisite. It could be unpleasant for a person who is uncomfortable reading about suicide. That out of the way, it was my favorite book I’ve read this year. I think it’s especially perfect for someone who struggles with depression but not suicidal ideation. I struggle with seasonal depression and reading this made me feel normal and more inspired to weather the temporary storm. It isn’t a sad story and it didn’t make me feel sad. This writing is poetic, the story is satisfying. There is humor, whimsy, and a hopeful spirit that makes me want to begin it again. I loved every word.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 30, 2020
I was looking forward to reading this book and it did not disappoint.
September 13, 2020
This book was a lot stranger than I thought it was going to be. Some people will find it too strange to read and I thought of putting it down at moments but I felt compelled to finish. the themes explored and the idea of this book was wonderful. the writing was fun, poignant and lyrical. The execution of the plot and characters, though, I think could have been better.
September 6, 2020
While there were things that bumped me while I was in the early pages, this story is all is worth it and so genuinely sweet & earnest that I want to hold it tight and kiss it softly and bake it cookies.
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