What do you think?
Rate this book
If I Tell You the Truth
ŷ Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Poetry (2021)Perfect for fans of Elizabeth Acevedo and Rupi Kaur, this heartrending story told in prose, poetry, and illustration weaves together the stories of a mother and daughter’s lives.
In this stunning sophomore novel, acclaimed writer Jasmin Kaur explores trauma, fear, courage, community, and the healing power of love in its many forms.
Kiran flees her home in Punjab for a fresh start in Canada after a sexual assault leaves her pregnant. But overstaying her visa and living undocumented brings its own perils for both her and her daughter, Sahaara.
Sahaara would do anything to protect her mother. When she learns the truth about Kiran’s past, she feels compelled to seek justice—even if it means challenging a powerful and dangerous man.
if i tell you the truth
that i’ve dug
from the hardened depths
of this shrapnel-filled dirt
with these aching, bloody hands
would you believe me?
would you still love me?
In this stunning sophomore novel, acclaimed writer Jasmin Kaur explores trauma, fear, courage, community, and the healing power of love in its many forms.
Kiran flees her home in Punjab for a fresh start in Canada after a sexual assault leaves her pregnant. But overstaying her visa and living undocumented brings its own perils for both her and her daughter, Sahaara.
Sahaara would do anything to protect her mother. When she learns the truth about Kiran’s past, she feels compelled to seek justice—even if it means challenging a powerful and dangerous man.
if i tell you the truth
that i’ve dug
from the hardened depths
of this shrapnel-filled dirt
with these aching, bloody hands
would you believe me?
would you still love me?
464 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 19, 2021
104 people are currently reading
9,205 people want to read
About the author
Jasmin Kaur
4books197followersJasmin Kaur is a writer, illustrator and spoken word artiste living in Vancouver, BC. Her writing, which explores feminism, social empowerment, love and survival, acts as a means of healing and reclaiming identity. As an arts facilitator and fourth-grade teacher, Jasmin has been leading creative-writing workshops for young people across North America, the UK, and Australia over the past five years.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 268 reviews
May 23, 2021
| |
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫
I struggled with rating this book. I always feel books that touch upon highly sensitive topics need to be 5⭐️ because, though I’ve never (thankfully) experienced these things I know many people who have and it changed their lives immensely.
This book has many trigger warnings, which the author dedicates a page of listing them to warn the reader prior to jumping in.
This book is half novel half poetry and it is really amazing. I love the set up and it breaks up some of the heavier topics. It’s a story about a girl Kiran who leaves Punjab to Canada to study Biology at college after she is sexually assaulted and impregnated by her rapist.
It goes into detail about how this young girl survived all odds, raised her daughter and lived in Canada undocumented for 20+ years. Then as you go we start to change perspectives to Kirans daughter Sahaara and what it is like growing up worrying about her undocumented mom and navigating school and love and college.
So many heartbreaks and triumphs in this book. I read it in less than 24 hours.
Also there’s a cute love story that unfolds but we never really know the outcome. Also the ending, wasn’t what I was hoping for but I mean, this would be real life and things just don’t change overnight.
This was a real eye opening book for me to read about immigrants, rape, hope, deceit, friendship, fear & love.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫
I struggled with rating this book. I always feel books that touch upon highly sensitive topics need to be 5⭐️ because, though I’ve never (thankfully) experienced these things I know many people who have and it changed their lives immensely.
This book has many trigger warnings, which the author dedicates a page of listing them to warn the reader prior to jumping in.
This book is half novel half poetry and it is really amazing. I love the set up and it breaks up some of the heavier topics. It’s a story about a girl Kiran who leaves Punjab to Canada to study Biology at college after she is sexually assaulted and impregnated by her rapist.
It goes into detail about how this young girl survived all odds, raised her daughter and lived in Canada undocumented for 20+ years. Then as you go we start to change perspectives to Kirans daughter Sahaara and what it is like growing up worrying about her undocumented mom and navigating school and love and college.
So many heartbreaks and triumphs in this book. I read it in less than 24 hours.
Also there’s a cute love story that unfolds but we never really know the outcome. Also the ending, wasn’t what I was hoping for but I mean, this would be real life and things just don’t change overnight.
This was a real eye opening book for me to read about immigrants, rape, hope, deceit, friendship, fear & love.
February 2, 2021
An emotional story soaked in truth and told through a mix of prose and poetry, it brings forward the highly realistic yet under-explored experiences of immigration, the underlying horror of every day while the fear of deportation is a sword dangling above one's neck, the unneeded gender-restricted expectations set for a daughter by her family, the happiness of bringing a new life to this world being drenched in the pain of being assaulted, the trauma that transcends generation, and the overall beauty of finding trust and support in a friend.
� listened to the audiobook on scribd �
January 15, 2021
| Review by Beth Mowbray
Just over a year after her debut novel, When You Ask Me Where I’m Going, captivated readers, Jasmin Kaur is releasing her sophomore work, If I Tell You the Truth. With a similarly unique format, Kaur weaves together prose, poetry, and illustrations to bring readers back to the lives of the characters from her first book, while also expanding the bounds of their world and of her storytelling.
If I Tell You the Truth is the powerful tale of a mother and daughter pair, Kiran and Sahaara, which alternates between each of their viewpoints. The basic premise is this: Kiran has fled her home in India after being sexually assaulted by her fiance’s brother, leading to a pregnancy for which she is shamed by her family. She begins to attend university in Canada as previously planned; but after Sahaara is born, and her family cuts ties with her, it becomes more and more difficult to attend school while working to support herself and her child.
Just over a year after her debut novel, When You Ask Me Where I’m Going, captivated readers, Jasmin Kaur is releasing her sophomore work, If I Tell You the Truth. With a similarly unique format, Kaur weaves together prose, poetry, and illustrations to bring readers back to the lives of the characters from her first book, while also expanding the bounds of their world and of her storytelling.
If I Tell You the Truth is the powerful tale of a mother and daughter pair, Kiran and Sahaara, which alternates between each of their viewpoints. The basic premise is this: Kiran has fled her home in India after being sexually assaulted by her fiance’s brother, leading to a pregnancy for which she is shamed by her family. She begins to attend university in Canada as previously planned; but after Sahaara is born, and her family cuts ties with her, it becomes more and more difficult to attend school while working to support herself and her child.
May 14, 2021
3.5/5
April 1, 2021
More thoughts will be shared on my Youtube channel!
*turns on megaphone* HELLO HELLO. I think I may have found another favorite author who writes novels in verse and prose and I need you all to READ Jasmin Kaur's If I Tell You the Truth!!! Not a lot of you have read this book and we need to change that.
I want to begin by applauding the author for adding trigger warnings before the story started. I'm a firm believer in having trigger content warnings in books and NO, I don't consider them as spoilers.
I listened to the audiobook and it was also narrated by Jasmin Kaur and it was PHENOMENAL! I highly suggest picking the audiobook up when you read this book.
- The story is told in two POVs: Kiran Kaur and her daughter Sahaara Kaur. Kiran is a victim of sexual assault that ended getting her pregnant. Afraid for her and her daughter's safety, she fled to Canada and entered college. When the person she most expects to believe what she's been through only blames her and is more worried about their family's image, Kira decided to take this head-on alone. Balancing her studies and going through her pregnancy have placed her student visa on the line.
- It was maddening and heart-wrenching to read the story as Kiran navigates the world of parenthood and being the victim of rape when the odds are systemically against her as a Punjab woman.
The book touches upon prejudice against women of color, being a victim of sexual assault AND victim-blaming, how justice is seldom and hard to find for marginalized people (women, especially), how immigration isn't always a black or white thing, and surviving a world full of hatred, prejudice, and lies takes a whole lot of courage and bravery.
It's so hard to choose a SINGLE favorite quote because I might as well have highlighted the whole book because of how amazing it is. Every line either hurts or makes me pine for the character or both at the same time. But here's one:
"The word no was an art form foreign to me. I mean, I'd always loved the idea of saying no, but nothing made my skin crawl like the thought of disappointing people."
CONCLUSION: I recommend this to everyone, especially fans of Elizabeth Acevedo's works!
Trigger/Content Warning: sexual assault, rape, abortion, teenage pregnancy, police brutality, immigrant trauma, victim-blaming, alcoholism, depression, anxiety, death of a parent
*turns on megaphone* HELLO HELLO. I think I may have found another favorite author who writes novels in verse and prose and I need you all to READ Jasmin Kaur's If I Tell You the Truth!!! Not a lot of you have read this book and we need to change that.
I want to begin by applauding the author for adding trigger warnings before the story started. I'm a firm believer in having trigger content warnings in books and NO, I don't consider them as spoilers.
I listened to the audiobook and it was also narrated by Jasmin Kaur and it was PHENOMENAL! I highly suggest picking the audiobook up when you read this book.
- The story is told in two POVs: Kiran Kaur and her daughter Sahaara Kaur. Kiran is a victim of sexual assault that ended getting her pregnant. Afraid for her and her daughter's safety, she fled to Canada and entered college. When the person she most expects to believe what she's been through only blames her and is more worried about their family's image, Kira decided to take this head-on alone. Balancing her studies and going through her pregnancy have placed her student visa on the line.
- It was maddening and heart-wrenching to read the story as Kiran navigates the world of parenthood and being the victim of rape when the odds are systemically against her as a Punjab woman.
The book touches upon prejudice against women of color, being a victim of sexual assault AND victim-blaming, how justice is seldom and hard to find for marginalized people (women, especially), how immigration isn't always a black or white thing, and surviving a world full of hatred, prejudice, and lies takes a whole lot of courage and bravery.
It's so hard to choose a SINGLE favorite quote because I might as well have highlighted the whole book because of how amazing it is. Every line either hurts or makes me pine for the character or both at the same time. But here's one:
"The word no was an art form foreign to me. I mean, I'd always loved the idea of saying no, but nothing made my skin crawl like the thought of disappointing people."
CONCLUSION: I recommend this to everyone, especially fans of Elizabeth Acevedo's works!
Trigger/Content Warning: sexual assault, rape, abortion, teenage pregnancy, police brutality, immigrant trauma, victim-blaming, alcoholism, depression, anxiety, death of a parent
February 23, 2021
**Trigger Warnings:
This book was intense and it was a lot to take in. I read this book in a little bit over 24 hours so all of its contents are swirling around in my head, but it was so captivating that I had to keep going.
I'm not going to describe it great detail what this about, because it will be triggering to some people, but the story told in this book is an important one.
These characters were lovable and I ached for them. I felt the pain through the authors writing and I just wanted to do something to help them even though they are fictional.
This book is so good. I cannot say it enough. There is so much emotion in the audiobook as well since the author narrates the story.
This book was intense and it was a lot to take in. I read this book in a little bit over 24 hours so all of its contents are swirling around in my head, but it was so captivating that I had to keep going.
I'm not going to describe it great detail what this about, because it will be triggering to some people, but the story told in this book is an important one.
These characters were lovable and I ached for them. I felt the pain through the authors writing and I just wanted to do something to help them even though they are fictional.
This book is so good. I cannot say it enough. There is so much emotion in the audiobook as well since the author narrates the story.
December 7, 2023
3.5 stars*
October 1, 2021
4.5⭐️
An incredible read, made all the more powerful through the creative combination of prose, poetry and illustrations.
This book does a terrific job in telling the story of so many profiles (sexual assault survivors, undocumented immigrants, single parents, teen mothers) and the obstacles/stigma that they face, and giving them a voice.
Kiran and Sahaara are characters you'll want to root for. Their strength, bravery, courage and spirit left me wowed. Fictional characters they might be, but their experiences are all too real.
An incredible read, made all the more powerful through the creative combination of prose, poetry and illustrations.
This book does a terrific job in telling the story of so many profiles (sexual assault survivors, undocumented immigrants, single parents, teen mothers) and the obstacles/stigma that they face, and giving them a voice.
Kiran and Sahaara are characters you'll want to root for. Their strength, bravery, courage and spirit left me wowed. Fictional characters they might be, but their experiences are all too real.
�"This life has taught me that sometimes, the most beautiful humans find themselves in painful situations. That doesn't mean they're not worth fighting for."
�"It is an act of bravery to live through hell and run from it when we have been made to believe that running is far more dangerous than staying."
�"This world makes us feel like our stories begin and end with men � the ones who want us or don't want us or hurt us or love us. But if I've learned anything, it's that happiness doesn't need to hinge on the boy you end up with. You can choose yourself, too."
March 18, 2021
To anyone who's planning to read this book, I'd recommend taking the trigger warnings at the beginning of the book very seriously.
Everyone who read Jasmin Kaur's first book 'When you ask me where I'm going' already knows enough about Kiran and Sahaara's story to know what the topic is about. I'm not gonna repeat the plot of the story, I only want to talk about how I feel about this novel in general. I want to start with this quote from the book...
"I hand her the letter, my excitement now stained with fear. Within this envelope could simply be a request for more documents. Or a rejection. Or an approval. Mom grasps the letter in both hands, her face a kaleidoscopic phulkari of emotion."
First off all, Jasmin Kaur's writing style and choice of words left me speechless. She's definitely one of my favourite writers at the moment.
TW: mentions of sexual assault
I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced any kind of sexual assault themself can even imagine what it's like to have to deal with this kind of trauma. Jasmin Kaur tells the story of the pregnant Punjabi girl Kiran Kaur who has been raped and flees to Canada after being abandoned by her own mother who accuses her of lying about the assault. While we find out what Kiran goes through mentally and physically through the years after this incident, the novel tells the story of how she tries to bring up her Canadian born daughter Sahaara in a foreign country without any legal documents.
We learn a lot about Sahaara and about how she deals with her own emotions as a teenager brought up by an undocumented mother who can't go back to India.
We get to read from the perspective of two women. One who has experienced abuse and a young woman who is trying desperately to be an ally to her mother who has experienced abuse. Their lives are constantly filled with anxiety, worry and fear and I was impressed by how well the author managed to put all these emotions into words.
I think this story and the characters' thoughts make it easier to understand the impact the assault has on both of the main characters. On one side we have Kiran, who manages to speak up about her trauma after almost 19 years. But the flashbacks are only a small part of the aftermath of speaking about her assault. She's confused, struggling with the truth and reliving the whole incident in her head all over again. But a trauma such as the one she's experienced can't be forgotten.
On the other side we have Sahaara, who is confused about her mother's boundaries. It's hard for her to understand when and how much her mother should be confronted with this incident from the past. She tries to help her mother to get revenge and speak up about the assault publicly, to prevent her abuser from assaulting more women.
I think everyone will read this story from a different perspective and point of view. There are a lot of messages coming from this novel and to be honest, it's a lot to take in.
I particularly liked the focus on how Sahaara slowly learns how to be an ally to her mother:
"to be an effective ally to survivors of sexual assault you need to be prepared to listen more than you speak.
to push your own ideas of healing or justice onto a survivor may be to traumatize them again. remember that they have been through a storm that has likely felt uncontrollable, outside of their power to contain."
I recommend this book to anyone who has someone in their life who has experienced sexual assault and anyone who wants to learn how to be an effective ally to survivors. It's a start to learn what survivors have to go through even years after their assault.
I'd also recommend it to survivors but ONLY if the topic and the description of certain emotions doesn't trigger them. It might make them feel less lonely, especially when they don't have someone around them who has experienced something similar and can relate to them.
Everyone who read Jasmin Kaur's first book 'When you ask me where I'm going' already knows enough about Kiran and Sahaara's story to know what the topic is about. I'm not gonna repeat the plot of the story, I only want to talk about how I feel about this novel in general. I want to start with this quote from the book...
"I hand her the letter, my excitement now stained with fear. Within this envelope could simply be a request for more documents. Or a rejection. Or an approval. Mom grasps the letter in both hands, her face a kaleidoscopic phulkari of emotion."
First off all, Jasmin Kaur's writing style and choice of words left me speechless. She's definitely one of my favourite writers at the moment.
TW: mentions of sexual assault
I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced any kind of sexual assault themself can even imagine what it's like to have to deal with this kind of trauma. Jasmin Kaur tells the story of the pregnant Punjabi girl Kiran Kaur who has been raped and flees to Canada after being abandoned by her own mother who accuses her of lying about the assault. While we find out what Kiran goes through mentally and physically through the years after this incident, the novel tells the story of how she tries to bring up her Canadian born daughter Sahaara in a foreign country without any legal documents.
We learn a lot about Sahaara and about how she deals with her own emotions as a teenager brought up by an undocumented mother who can't go back to India.
We get to read from the perspective of two women. One who has experienced abuse and a young woman who is trying desperately to be an ally to her mother who has experienced abuse. Their lives are constantly filled with anxiety, worry and fear and I was impressed by how well the author managed to put all these emotions into words.
I think this story and the characters' thoughts make it easier to understand the impact the assault has on both of the main characters. On one side we have Kiran, who manages to speak up about her trauma after almost 19 years. But the flashbacks are only a small part of the aftermath of speaking about her assault. She's confused, struggling with the truth and reliving the whole incident in her head all over again. But a trauma such as the one she's experienced can't be forgotten.
On the other side we have Sahaara, who is confused about her mother's boundaries. It's hard for her to understand when and how much her mother should be confronted with this incident from the past. She tries to help her mother to get revenge and speak up about the assault publicly, to prevent her abuser from assaulting more women.
I think everyone will read this story from a different perspective and point of view. There are a lot of messages coming from this novel and to be honest, it's a lot to take in.
I particularly liked the focus on how Sahaara slowly learns how to be an ally to her mother:
"to be an effective ally to survivors of sexual assault you need to be prepared to listen more than you speak.
to push your own ideas of healing or justice onto a survivor may be to traumatize them again. remember that they have been through a storm that has likely felt uncontrollable, outside of their power to contain."
I recommend this book to anyone who has someone in their life who has experienced sexual assault and anyone who wants to learn how to be an effective ally to survivors. It's a start to learn what survivors have to go through even years after their assault.
I'd also recommend it to survivors but ONLY if the topic and the description of certain emotions doesn't trigger them. It might make them feel less lonely, especially when they don't have someone around them who has experienced something similar and can relate to them.
January 31, 2021
Wow. This book has left me utterly speechless. I know that this work will sit with me for a lifetime. As a 2nd generation South Asian immigrant there were many things in this book that hit extremely close to home, especially in the aspect of family relationships and friendships. I felt deeply connected to each of the people in this collection and my heart both ached and was so proud reading the words on every page. This book should be one every single person needs to read in their life. It talks about experiences that real immigrant families go through and the struggles of coming to a new country and setting up a new life. We always hear on the news of people getting deported and being forced to leave the US, sometimes when this is the only country and home they've ever known. This book is raw and dives into these topics fearlessly and it has educated me, made me a more aware and compassionate individual. This book stands for feminism and promoting woman's ability's to make their own choices about their body. This book is an embodiment of things that are wrong in the world that we as the general population need to know about because ignorance does not help people in these situations. Genuinely, one of the best books of this year. I don't have enough words to praise this work.
July 7, 2021
This is a beautiful, important book. It is written in a combination of poetry and prose and shorts perspective but it does so organically and with ease. The reader is instant wrapped into the lives of these women. The book tackles issues that are too often ignored, the plight of abused women in India and of the too often silenced immigrant population in Canada. I read much about undocumented immigrants in the US but this is the first time I’ve seen it from a Canadian perspective.
September 6, 2021
I'm not sure why I couldn't enjoy this like the first one, I really wanted to love it too. The first one was really good but this one I found a few that I could like.
January 3, 2022
Blend of prose and poetry. Very emotional.
February 4, 2022
Powerful piece 🤗
March 6, 2021
Oh my god. Where do I even start? Jasmin Kaur is an amazing story teller. The story has so many layers, but it's all woven together with so much care. The pacing, the prose, the details. Just everything! There were moments that had me very emotional but I held it together and then on the last page, I found big fat tears streaming down my face. This is honestly, such a beautiful book.
November 16, 2021
This book screams I'm from a very sheltered upbringing but I desperately want to write about social justice to the point where I'll create poems based off of made up scenarios that come off as fantasies. Her writing is about as deep as Rupi Kaur's with bigger vocabulary.
December 6, 2021
If I Tell You the Truth by Jasmin Kaur follows the story of Kiran and her daughter Sahaara, and it is told from both of their alternating perspectives. A compelling part of the novel is the fact that some of the story is told in verse, while the rest of it reads like a normal novel. When the novel is in verse, it is often to display emotions like sadness or anger. This allows for the distressed thoughts that the characters feel to be expressed deeper. Kiran is Punjabi, and comes to Canada on an educational visa. She leaves her strict family to go to university else where, but the reader soon discovers that she has a child on the way as a result of sexual assault. Her decision to keep her future daughter strains her relationship with her family, and leaves her isolated in a foreign country. Kiran struggles with letting her daughter grow up without much money and familial support, and there is an added fear of getting deported. Kiran had to overstay her visa in Canada for her daughter since she didn’t want to go back to her home country out of fear of finding her rapist.
The first half of the book is told from Kiran’s point of view, and the rest is from Sahaara. Sahaara wants to find her own identity since she doesn’t know about Kiran’s background. When she learns about what happened to her mother, she fights to help take down the rapist and stand by her mother, while struggling with her own self identity in the process. If I Tell You the Truth is very well written, and it expands on the important theme of community and loyalty while displaying the growing relationship between mother and daughter. Kiran’s and Sahaara’s story will strike a chord in many hearts. This is an exceptional novel, and I couldn’t recommend it more.
Reviewed by Ima T.
The first half of the book is told from Kiran’s point of view, and the rest is from Sahaara. Sahaara wants to find her own identity since she doesn’t know about Kiran’s background. When she learns about what happened to her mother, she fights to help take down the rapist and stand by her mother, while struggling with her own self identity in the process. If I Tell You the Truth is very well written, and it expands on the important theme of community and loyalty while displaying the growing relationship between mother and daughter. Kiran’s and Sahaara’s story will strike a chord in many hearts. This is an exceptional novel, and I couldn’t recommend it more.
Reviewed by Ima T.
December 8, 2021
4.5/5
This was a powerful story that focuses on very heavy and important themes of sexual assault and being an undocumented immigrant. It's also a book about female empowerment and motherhood.
The story is told from two POVs and timelines - Kiran, and her daughter Sahaara. When Kiran became pregnant after being sexually assaulted, no one believed that the honourable Ahluwalia was capable of doing such a thing. Even Kiran's own family turned their backs on her. Left with no choice, Kiran flees to Canada and overstays her student visa to raise her child far from the man who abused her and the family who abandoned her. But fleeing to Canada doesn't even begin to solve her problems. Being undocumented and a victim of assault means living in constant fear. It also means a strained relationship with her daughter. How much should Kiran tell Sahaara? How would this information impact Sahaara's life?
This book did such a fantastic job exploring the generational trauma left behind by victims of sexual assault. It also did a great job addressing the prejudices and discrimination against marginalized women, especially women of colour, undocumented immigrants, victims of sexual assault, and single mothers.
And that was just the first half of the book.
The second half of the book focuses primarily on Sahaara's story, and how she coped with learning the truth about her mother's past. She encourages her mother to speak out against her rapist, who is now a prominent politician in Punjab. Speaking out against such a powerful figure is both terrifying and potentially dangerous.
While the writing and poetry for the most part was beautiful, I think I would have preferred if this was a novel-in-verse, rather than a series of poems scattered throughout the novel. Regardless, this was an extremely memorable and emotional book.
This was a powerful story that focuses on very heavy and important themes of sexual assault and being an undocumented immigrant. It's also a book about female empowerment and motherhood.
The story is told from two POVs and timelines - Kiran, and her daughter Sahaara. When Kiran became pregnant after being sexually assaulted, no one believed that the honourable Ahluwalia was capable of doing such a thing. Even Kiran's own family turned their backs on her. Left with no choice, Kiran flees to Canada and overstays her student visa to raise her child far from the man who abused her and the family who abandoned her. But fleeing to Canada doesn't even begin to solve her problems. Being undocumented and a victim of assault means living in constant fear. It also means a strained relationship with her daughter. How much should Kiran tell Sahaara? How would this information impact Sahaara's life?
This book did such a fantastic job exploring the generational trauma left behind by victims of sexual assault. It also did a great job addressing the prejudices and discrimination against marginalized women, especially women of colour, undocumented immigrants, victims of sexual assault, and single mothers.
And that was just the first half of the book.
The second half of the book focuses primarily on Sahaara's story, and how she coped with learning the truth about her mother's past. She encourages her mother to speak out against her rapist, who is now a prominent politician in Punjab. Speaking out against such a powerful figure is both terrifying and potentially dangerous.
if i speak out about ahluwalia i'm drawing attention to us
but if i don't speak out i'm letting him get away
but if i speak out i'm putting us in danger
but if i don't speak out i'm putting others in danger
but if i speak out i'm diving head-first into the memories
but if i don't speak out i'll be haunted by him forever
but if i speak out they could all call me a liar
but if i don't speak out they'll call another woman's accusation baseless
but if i -
While the writing and poetry for the most part was beautiful, I think I would have preferred if this was a novel-in-verse, rather than a series of poems scattered throughout the novel. Regardless, this was an extremely memorable and emotional book.
May 23, 2022
This is a book that will spit you out but at the same time gently guide you to the ending.
It’s definitely not a book you wanna pick up if you need a no-brainer.
This book is beautifully written in poems and chapters. It’s so well written that I can see the described artwork like it’s in front off me.
It spans 20 years and centers around mother and daughter.
It’s about immigration, being undocumented, sexual assault, growing up, friendship, family & found family, depression and societies standards. It shows what having power means.
The author takes great regard in the way which she portrays these themes.
It also shows us how beautiful but also difficult relationships can be, how your body can be something that feels foreign and how (any) event (good or bad) can carve out a future for us if we let it define us.
But most of all it’s about speaking up, expressing yourself and love in all its forms.
I highly recommend it.
It’s definitely not a book you wanna pick up if you need a no-brainer.
This book is beautifully written in poems and chapters. It’s so well written that I can see the described artwork like it’s in front off me.
It spans 20 years and centers around mother and daughter.
It’s about immigration, being undocumented, sexual assault, growing up, friendship, family & found family, depression and societies standards. It shows what having power means.
The author takes great regard in the way which she portrays these themes.
It also shows us how beautiful but also difficult relationships can be, how your body can be something that feels foreign and how (any) event (good or bad) can carve out a future for us if we let it define us.
But most of all it’s about speaking up, expressing yourself and love in all its forms.
I highly recommend it.
March 16, 2021
I really liked this book. I felt like it properly addressed sexual assault and rape and made these issues seen. The different perspectives were also wonderful and enjoyable. What I found interesting was how the author wrote it in poems and notes which I personally liked. At times the romance between Sahaara and Jeevan seemed unnecessary but overall great read! This had me crying during and after reading but I would absolutely recommend this to friends.
June 23, 2021
this read will definitely stay with me for a while. i don’t really know how to sum up my feelings for this but the writing was incredible and so lyrical and the story made my heart ache. i feel so deeply for both kiran and sahaara and felt so pained for them both.
“this isn’t a poem.
instead it’s an obituary
for the girl i used to be
the girl who belonged to
everyone but herself
the girl who swallowed
her heart and bit her tongue
the girl who would have
never dared to run.�
“this isn’t a poem.
instead it’s an obituary
for the girl i used to be
the girl who belonged to
everyone but herself
the girl who swallowed
her heart and bit her tongue
the girl who would have
never dared to run.�
August 25, 2020
Plot:
*Trigger Warnings: sexual assault, police brutality, immigrant trauma, victim-blaming, domestic violence, alcoholism, depression, anxiety*
Kiran came to Canada to major in biology at Simon Fraser University. As an immigrant from Punjab, Kiran realized that British Columbia is a lot different than her hometown, but at the university orientation, she met Joti, another Punjab immigrant that has been living in Canada for a while and took Kiran under her wing. Kiran had high expectations of her to do well in her major and then to come back and marry the man her mother wanted because he was from a “good family� one that would not embarrass her. To Kiran, her mother was always harsh and controlling, someone to obey and not to oppose. This is why Kiran chose to call her mother from Canada about the fact that she did not fly to Canada alone. Inside her stomach was a baby girl, soon to be named Sahaara, and Kiran was not going to get rid of. After her mother flew back to Canada, for Kiran’s birthday, and try to set up the abortion appointments herself, Kiran stood her ground, saying that she will have her child. Getting disowned by her parents, kicked out of her uncle and aunt’s house, Kiran moved in with Joti and her mother, to continue going to school for her visa, and raise Sahaara. When the university kicked Kiran out, because she could no longer keep up the course load along with working and raising her daughter, Kiran’s visa expired, leaving her in Canada with no papers. Not leaving her Canadian daughter, Kiran stayed, taking any job that would not ask for her papers, raising her daughter, and fearing the police. Sahaara grew up, forming a close friendship with her neighbor Jeevan, went to school, fell in love, graduated, went to college while living with her mother and her mother’s chosen family. Kiran never talked about Saaharra’s father, and it was not till Sahaara was older was when Kiran finally told her why. Her father was a powerful man in Punjab, one that abused his position of power and raped Kiran. The result of that abuse was Sahaara. Urging her mother to tell her story, about the rape, about being undocumented in Canada, about how when they fight she cannot look at her daughter without seeing him. Trading perspectives of Sahaara and Kiran, starting in August of 2001 and ending in June 2021, is the story of Kiran’s fight to stay in Canada, and Sahaara’s upbringing and trying to discover herself.
Thoughts:
Jasmin Kaur takes you on the emotional story of Kiran and her daughter Sahaara, on this twenty-year journey across the countries of Canada and India. This review is hard to write as there is so much depth in this novel, that I am surprised that Kaur did not go into thousands of pages, but kept it at a long novel of over four hundred pages. Kaur writes from the perspective of Kiran and Sahaara, mainly from Kiran at the beginning of the novel, and then switches to Sahaara’s when she is about ten and for the remainder of the novel. The trigger warnings at the start of the novel (and at the start of my review) are no joke, as Kaur takes you on the emotional journey of these two women. From the start where Joti tells Kiran that “Freshe� means fresh off the boat for immigrants, to the people in power trying to take advantage of Kiran as she tries to find a way to stay in Canada with her daughter. Her fear of being deported is etched into Sahaara’s life, of her mother fidgeting when cops are nearby, and her not being able to drive because she does not have her license. Yet, Kaur writes to Saharra to see her mother as strong, determined, yet full of fear and anxiety towards her daughter, and depression for what she has endured in the past. The ending, where accurate for many cases, is still heart wrenching, making this novel more realistic than the fiction it is meant to be. Written between chapters is poetry that is meant to be taken from the point of view of Kiran and Sahaara, reflective of what is going on in their lives, which is a beautiful edition and truly makes the book flow more powerful. The part that got me the most was Sahaara realizing whenever she and her mother fought, the reason why her mother could not look at her was that she saw her rapist in Sahaara’s features, even though she loved her daughter with all her heart. Truly an emotional novel, one that will capture your hearts for this mother-daughter pair that spans over two decades of their lives and a must-read for anyone who wants to shed some tears out of love.
*Trigger Warnings: sexual assault, police brutality, immigrant trauma, victim-blaming, domestic violence, alcoholism, depression, anxiety*
Kiran came to Canada to major in biology at Simon Fraser University. As an immigrant from Punjab, Kiran realized that British Columbia is a lot different than her hometown, but at the university orientation, she met Joti, another Punjab immigrant that has been living in Canada for a while and took Kiran under her wing. Kiran had high expectations of her to do well in her major and then to come back and marry the man her mother wanted because he was from a “good family� one that would not embarrass her. To Kiran, her mother was always harsh and controlling, someone to obey and not to oppose. This is why Kiran chose to call her mother from Canada about the fact that she did not fly to Canada alone. Inside her stomach was a baby girl, soon to be named Sahaara, and Kiran was not going to get rid of. After her mother flew back to Canada, for Kiran’s birthday, and try to set up the abortion appointments herself, Kiran stood her ground, saying that she will have her child. Getting disowned by her parents, kicked out of her uncle and aunt’s house, Kiran moved in with Joti and her mother, to continue going to school for her visa, and raise Sahaara. When the university kicked Kiran out, because she could no longer keep up the course load along with working and raising her daughter, Kiran’s visa expired, leaving her in Canada with no papers. Not leaving her Canadian daughter, Kiran stayed, taking any job that would not ask for her papers, raising her daughter, and fearing the police. Sahaara grew up, forming a close friendship with her neighbor Jeevan, went to school, fell in love, graduated, went to college while living with her mother and her mother’s chosen family. Kiran never talked about Saaharra’s father, and it was not till Sahaara was older was when Kiran finally told her why. Her father was a powerful man in Punjab, one that abused his position of power and raped Kiran. The result of that abuse was Sahaara. Urging her mother to tell her story, about the rape, about being undocumented in Canada, about how when they fight she cannot look at her daughter without seeing him. Trading perspectives of Sahaara and Kiran, starting in August of 2001 and ending in June 2021, is the story of Kiran’s fight to stay in Canada, and Sahaara’s upbringing and trying to discover herself.
Thoughts:
Jasmin Kaur takes you on the emotional story of Kiran and her daughter Sahaara, on this twenty-year journey across the countries of Canada and India. This review is hard to write as there is so much depth in this novel, that I am surprised that Kaur did not go into thousands of pages, but kept it at a long novel of over four hundred pages. Kaur writes from the perspective of Kiran and Sahaara, mainly from Kiran at the beginning of the novel, and then switches to Sahaara’s when she is about ten and for the remainder of the novel. The trigger warnings at the start of the novel (and at the start of my review) are no joke, as Kaur takes you on the emotional journey of these two women. From the start where Joti tells Kiran that “Freshe� means fresh off the boat for immigrants, to the people in power trying to take advantage of Kiran as she tries to find a way to stay in Canada with her daughter. Her fear of being deported is etched into Sahaara’s life, of her mother fidgeting when cops are nearby, and her not being able to drive because she does not have her license. Yet, Kaur writes to Saharra to see her mother as strong, determined, yet full of fear and anxiety towards her daughter, and depression for what she has endured in the past. The ending, where accurate for many cases, is still heart wrenching, making this novel more realistic than the fiction it is meant to be. Written between chapters is poetry that is meant to be taken from the point of view of Kiran and Sahaara, reflective of what is going on in their lives, which is a beautiful edition and truly makes the book flow more powerful. The part that got me the most was Sahaara realizing whenever she and her mother fought, the reason why her mother could not look at her was that she saw her rapist in Sahaara’s features, even though she loved her daughter with all her heart. Truly an emotional novel, one that will capture your hearts for this mother-daughter pair that spans over two decades of their lives and a must-read for anyone who wants to shed some tears out of love.
January 17, 2022
Absolutely stunning, thrilling, lyrical, breathtaking, a new favourite! After reading her first collection of poems, I couldn’t wait to read Jasmin Kaur’s second novel, which is a YA fiction that includes prose and poetry. Major themes: sexual assault, immigration and deportation
January 26, 2021
If I Tell You The Truth Is One Of The Best Books I Have Read
I Love Jasmin Kaurś Writing It Hit Close To Home And Broke Me And I Loved This Book
I Love Jasmin Kaurś Writing It Hit Close To Home And Broke Me And I Loved This Book
March 18, 2021
This book will be challenging for me to review because of its inability to be classified as one genre. This is a book of poetry inside a novel with the occasional illustration, so it defies defining for me.
In the early 2000s, Kiran has the opportunity to attend university abroad in Canada. While this move is nerve wracking for her, it's also an escape from the trauma of her past -- her fiance's brother raped her back in India, and she is carrying his child. At university, she must balance being an immigrant, a freshman college student, and a single mother with no family support. After this section, the remainder of the book is spent mostly in the perspective of Sahaara, Kiran's daughter, and their family's life and the immigration process. Sahaara struggles with her identity (once she learns the truth of her conception) and the stress of living as a first-generation immigrant with an undocumented parent. When Kiran decides to confront her rapist in a public way, they are both confronted with questions and answers they've been fearing for too long.
This book was captivating for its character work and prose. I appreciated the varied chapters and perspectives which kept me reading just one more chapter. Some of the poetry was beautiful and impactful, but others for me just felt like they moved the plot forward with a different syntactical structure (which may have been the intent, but poetry isn't always my jam). I loved the relationship between Sahaara and Kiran -- it was realistic to their situation, and I appreciated that Kaur allowed it to grow.
There were a few moments, however, that I couldn't suspend disbelief, particularly with how the news coverage was handled near the end. Without spoiling anything, it just seemed unbelievable that the final conflict would have been handled that way in reality, and it seemed particularly traumatic in my opinion. Maybe it's a difference in how it would be handled in the US vs. abroad, but from my perspective, it was tough to believe. I also thought the voices/writing styles of Kiran and Sahaara were too close, which became especially apparent when their voices overlapped in certain chapters. I found it difficult to figure out who was who other than context clues, which occasionally didn't show up until a few pages into a scene. I struggled with deciding if I was bothered by this, since it also shows that they have a special bond through poetry and that they are similar, despite them not feeling super close towards the beginning of the book, but in the end, it did cause me some confusion.
Overall, I enjoyed this book and thought it was excellent social commentary with poignant themes and some great writing. While there are definitely many triggers in this book for students, I can see some of my older teen readers enjoying learning about these points of view.
In the early 2000s, Kiran has the opportunity to attend university abroad in Canada. While this move is nerve wracking for her, it's also an escape from the trauma of her past -- her fiance's brother raped her back in India, and she is carrying his child. At university, she must balance being an immigrant, a freshman college student, and a single mother with no family support. After this section, the remainder of the book is spent mostly in the perspective of Sahaara, Kiran's daughter, and their family's life and the immigration process. Sahaara struggles with her identity (once she learns the truth of her conception) and the stress of living as a first-generation immigrant with an undocumented parent. When Kiran decides to confront her rapist in a public way, they are both confronted with questions and answers they've been fearing for too long.
This book was captivating for its character work and prose. I appreciated the varied chapters and perspectives which kept me reading just one more chapter. Some of the poetry was beautiful and impactful, but others for me just felt like they moved the plot forward with a different syntactical structure (which may have been the intent, but poetry isn't always my jam). I loved the relationship between Sahaara and Kiran -- it was realistic to their situation, and I appreciated that Kaur allowed it to grow.
There were a few moments, however, that I couldn't suspend disbelief, particularly with how the news coverage was handled near the end. Without spoiling anything, it just seemed unbelievable that the final conflict would have been handled that way in reality, and it seemed particularly traumatic in my opinion. Maybe it's a difference in how it would be handled in the US vs. abroad, but from my perspective, it was tough to believe. I also thought the voices/writing styles of Kiran and Sahaara were too close, which became especially apparent when their voices overlapped in certain chapters. I found it difficult to figure out who was who other than context clues, which occasionally didn't show up until a few pages into a scene. I struggled with deciding if I was bothered by this, since it also shows that they have a special bond through poetry and that they are similar, despite them not feeling super close towards the beginning of the book, but in the end, it did cause me some confusion.
Overall, I enjoyed this book and thought it was excellent social commentary with poignant themes and some great writing. While there are definitely many triggers in this book for students, I can see some of my older teen readers enjoying learning about these points of view.
September 1, 2020
The mix of poetry, illustrations, and story telling in this novel is flawless. When I requested it, I didnt expect it to be so long, and yet I turned the final page hoping for more.
The author beautifully seamed this collection of mixed media into a story that will rip your heart out repeatedly, and yet leave you feeling.. full.
The mother/daughter dynamic of Sahaara and Kiran was truly authentic, I appreciated how similar they both were while not being a mirrored image of the other. They felt realistic.
Mainly this book shed light on the experiences of sexual assault victims, and the many ways an assault can change the entire direction of your life. I can't speak for the representation of the cultural talk in this novel, but the conversations it brought up did make me think about how much power a woman's word can hold dependent on where she is from.
If you enjoy modern poetry, strong female voices, and are mentally able to handle a lengthy book that doesn't shy away from the topic of sexual assault or deportation.. read this. It will stay with you.
Thank you to Net Galley for the ARC!
The author beautifully seamed this collection of mixed media into a story that will rip your heart out repeatedly, and yet leave you feeling.. full.
The mother/daughter dynamic of Sahaara and Kiran was truly authentic, I appreciated how similar they both were while not being a mirrored image of the other. They felt realistic.
Mainly this book shed light on the experiences of sexual assault victims, and the many ways an assault can change the entire direction of your life. I can't speak for the representation of the cultural talk in this novel, but the conversations it brought up did make me think about how much power a woman's word can hold dependent on where she is from.
If you enjoy modern poetry, strong female voices, and are mentally able to handle a lengthy book that doesn't shy away from the topic of sexual assault or deportation.. read this. It will stay with you.
Thank you to Net Galley for the ARC!
May 30, 2021
Rounded up to 3.75. The overall premise was gripping and I found the voices to be authentic and her struggles with relationships to be rich and well developed. I didn’t mind the interplay of poetry and prose - that did add to the dynamic storytelling. I loved Jeevan...he was authentic with his own struggles as well as hers. Plot-wise, I wondered why a DNA test was never suggested and I wanted some closure about Sunny. I also was underwhelmed by the “art� throughout the book. It was glorified clip art and could have been such a beautiful addition. Overall, this was a powerful, meaningful story that wove the intense elements of immigration, sexual assault, and misogynistic culture together quite well...it just was missing some other needed elements.
April 9, 2021
I'm giving this a low rating not because the book was bad, but because it was very difficult to read. I think most people have that one subject they have trouble reading or watching, for me it is this. The writing was good, very lyrical and descriptive. I think that was part of the problem, it was too real for me.
February 3, 2021
This is the kind of book that you know, even when you’re only halfway through, will stay with you for years to come.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 268 reviews
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get help and learn more about the design.