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Themes and Variations

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In this Kindle-exclusive essay, international bestselling humor writer David Sedaris shares the rewards of a book tour and his devoted readers� worst-kept secrets.

Dismissed by a bored author at a book signing, a betrayed young man named David Sedaris made a vow. Someday, when it was his turn at the table, he’d connect with his readers. The experience has been even more revealing than he’d hoped.

In this hilarious and perceptive essay, the celebrated humorist reflects on the unusual patterns of forced socialization between author and audience, and the obligations and sometimes surprising returns of not-so-chance encounters with strangers: jokes, secrets, insights, and even charity.


RUNNING TIME � 30mins.

©2020 David Sedaris (P)2020 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.

1 pages, Audible Audio

First published April 28, 2020

2771 people are currently reading
11546 people want to read

About the author

David Sedaris

111Ìýbooks27.5kÌýfollowers
David Raymond Sedaris is an American humorist, comedian, author, and radio contributor. He was publicly recognized in 1992 when National Public Radio broadcast his essay "Santaland Diaries". He published his first collection of essays and short stories, Barrel Fever, in 1994. His next book, Naked (1997), became his first of a series of New York Times Bestsellers, and his 2000 collection Me Talk Pretty One Day won the Thurber Prize for American Humor.
Much of Sedaris's humor is autobiographical and self-deprecating and often concerns his family life, his middle-class upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, his Greek heritage, homosexuality, jobs, education, drug use, and obsessive behaviors, as well as his life in France, London, New York, and the South Downs in England. He is the brother and writing collaborator of actress Amy Sedaris.
In 2019, Sedaris was elected to the American Academy of Arts and Letters.

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5 stars
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3 stars
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 749 reviews
Profile Image for Rosh ~catching up slowly~.
2,188 reviews4,331 followers
November 26, 2023
In a Nutshell: An essay by an acclaimed humour writer, detailing some memorable experiences, “themes and variations� while interacting with readers during book tours. A quick, fun read.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As a reader, you might have attended book-signing events, and while in queue, you might have wondered what to say to the author. Now here’s an essay that shows you the same event from an author’s point of view.

When David Sedaris was a boy, he had a bad experience at a book signing event, where the visiting author didn’t acknowledge him or even glance at him while signing the book. He was so affected by this that many years later, when it was his turn to be on the other side of the signing table, he decided that he would make every reader feel special.

What resulted from this decision was some intriguing reader interactions, amusing anecdotes, and unbelievable revelations, ranging from hilarious to outright bizarre. This little 19-page essay explores some of David’s more memorable experiences while on his book tours.

The word ‘essay� is, of course, very loosely applicable to this write-up. ‘Essay� somehow conjures up the image of something tedious. But this is a light-hearted read, with David’s self-deprecating humour balanced by his friendly approachability. It offers an unseen glimpse at modern authorial life while also showing how crazy some people are.

Many anecdotes in this piece are funny, some are heartwarming, and some left me befuddled at the lack of common sense in human beings. The jokes are quite good, though some seem too exaggerated.

Even if contemporary authors are reclusive introverts who prefer to sit at their writing stations than interacting with their readers, they cannot escape public events in today’s world. Be it social media or live interactions or interviews, authors are reliant on such exchanges to establish a connect with their readers. If all authors took a page out of David Sedaris� books [Not literally!] and ensured that the readers at their events get their complete attention when their turn comes, trust me, they will have earned a fan for life.

A recommended write-up for all readers who dream of author interactions and for all authors who dread forced socialization.

3.75 stars.


This essay is currently available free to Amazon Prime subscribers.





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Profile Image for Julie Ehlers.
1,117 reviews1,576 followers
April 29, 2020
This essay was only about 15 pages long but the ratio of genuine laughs to pages was very high.
Profile Image for Dez the Bookworm.
515 reviews312 followers
January 28, 2023
Interesting short listen or read, didn’t wow me.

This started out really funny, but then waned for me. I stoped laughing and just waited…but the next laugh never came. I think this particular essay will either strike you as funny, or just plain annoy you.

This is one of those essays that depends on your sense of humor.
Profile Image for Mark (Day 19 Cairns to Adelaide) Porton.
575 reviews716 followers
April 13, 2023
Themes and Variations by David Sedaris

This is a short, funny read from the irrepressible David Sedaris. He shares anecdotes from his book tours � as you’d expect these are often hilarious and sometimes informative. A couple I found particularly interesting was how women put up with the inconvenience and discomfort due to wearing bras and also some stories involving hapless men inserting various objects up their bum.

You know, typical Sedaris.

He also shared funny jokes � these obtained from people he met on tour, usually during book signings � my favourite:

A man is getting ready for bed, when he hears a knock at the door. He opens it and looks down to see a snail. “Yes,� it says , “I’d like to talk to you about buying some magazine subscriptions�.

Beside himself with rage, the man rears back, kicks the snail as hard as he can and returns to bed.

Two years later there comes another knock on the door. The man answers, and again he finds the snail, who looks up at him and says, “What the f**k was that all about?�


That was one of many times I howled with laughter during this delightful read.

4 Stars
Profile Image for Anne .
458 reviews442 followers
May 1, 2020
A fun little taste of Sedaris at his best; hilarious mixed with the bizarre. Just wish it had been longer. Now I finally understand why he always has long and fruitful discussions with his audiences after his readings, while signing his books.
Profile Image for Leslie.
1,163 reviews303 followers
April 29, 2020
When Amazon emails you at 12:01 am to say that David Sedaris has something new out, you one click buy it. Even if it’s 1.99 for 17 pages. I don’t make the rules.

This was short and snarky and felt like a tease. I found it a bit mean spirited. He has times when he goes too far in that direction for my liking. But at the same time, it’s very clear he knows that about himself and he often mocks himself more than anyone else. So I still enjoyed it.

It doesn’t seem fair for Sedaris to offer us one, tiny tale. But I’ll take what I can get. And anxiously await his next full length book, whenever that may be.

Because I love him.
Profile Image for Elyse Walters.
4,010 reviews11.8k followers
December 25, 2020
Books....
Bras....
Fifty-dollar bills....ranch dressing.... dented can goods.... asking doesn’t cost a thing....
looking for somebody who is poor?
Three raisins stuck to the bottom of your airline check in bag....
A package of Marboro‘s...
Greasy hair guys with missing front teeth...
A mental ill ‘pass�....
The audience chooses what they want to focus on...
and.....
I’m not a bad man....
Take “THAT� GOD
Badass Hilarious!!!!
Profile Image for Dave Schaafsma.
AuthorÌý6 books32k followers
June 21, 2020
I've listened to this 17 page new story by Sedaris twice so far and have laughed several times. You can get it for $1.99 but if you do, you have to get the audible version of him reading it himself. He's one of the best readers in the world, with great timing, and I laughed out loud a few times. I admired it the second time even more and suspect I will listen to and love it even more. In a sense, it's standard Sedaris, but that still means one of the best.

He begins by talking about 1984 when he moved to Chicago and loved reading stories in the public library, and going to readings by various authors in favorite bookstores. Stories, good stories, one theme. We are asked to reflect on those and why they are good.

But the central theme is about the relationship between readers and audiences. One time he went to a book signing and he was ignored; he made a commitment after that: If he ever was in that position as author, he would pay attention. And this is where many of his good stories have come from. Sedaris would seem to be a crazy magnet. People tell him the strangest things, which he carries from town to town and they just multiply: One woman tells him, "you made me put my bra back on!" (since she had gone home, relaxed but changed her mind to come out to listen to him). But then he tells that story from town to town and asks other women about their bras and incorporates those good stories in his work..

Sedaris always pushes the offensive a bit, as in hearing and retelling stories he has heard about objects people insert into themselves, but this is also funny, a good story, and he knows it. The best stuff is about giving money to the poor, especially now that he is "well-0ff." Here his variation on that theme spins into how interesting people are, and he's never mean about them. And he's self-deprecating, always, which helps make him, as always, likable. Which helps in making a good story.
Profile Image for Sam Quixote.
4,738 reviews13.3k followers
May 20, 2020
Themes and Variations is an Amazon Original Stories nonfiction essay by the delightful David Sedaris about his book tours. And, like a lot of Sedaris� essays, this one is quite amusing.

His tours each seem to have their own themes that randomly and naturally develop. In one, he discovers that women remove their bras as soon as their workday is over, something every woman he meets tells him they do. In another, he collects jokes and in another he hears numerous anecdotes about the myriad and bizarre things men shove up their bums.

The jokes are kinda cheesy and forgettable and the bra stuff/anal insertions aren’t that novel a concept but there’s some fun to be had there. I particularly liked Sedaris� summation: “If women come home from work and take their bras off, their husbands return and look for things they can force up their asses.�

The best part of the essay was Sedaris being asked by his media escort in Milwaukee that she’d been given $50 by her pastor to give to someone who looked like they needed it before 3.16pm that day (that time specifically because of a Bible verse) - but she was busy and could Dave do it for her? So off Sedaris goes, in search of the homeless - where else? - in the local library!

Of course it’s not quite so straightforward for Sedaris, and he even encounters problems when he takes pity on a homeless man picking up cigarette butts and buys him a pack of smokes.

Themes and Variations is a cute little piece that has a couple funny moments in it but it’s not among David Sedaris� best.
Profile Image for Chavelli Sulikowska.
226 reviews262 followers
June 17, 2020
This was exactly the sort of book I needed to read when I read it. Short, funny and contemporary. After a few heavy classics, the stresses of covid-19 lock down and a debilitating ankle injury I needed something uplifting, light and positive!

Sedaris is a very funny man. He is also an excellent writer. In this essay, Sedaris shares the quirks of undertaking a book tour. After a bad experience at a book signing in his youth where the featuring author was really rude, Sedaris pledged that if he was ever to become a successful author, he would never snub any of his fans who turned up to his readings � instead he would do his best to be personal and connect with each person who made the effort to come and see him. What ensues is a hilarious account of many of his surprising experiences meeting fans. It is also a revealing study of the unusual relationship and obligations between authors and their audiences.

I love his unequivocal honesty and down to earth tone. He seems to be the kind of un-self-possessed author you could have a cappuccino with in a cool book store café.
Profile Image for Kasa Cotugno.
2,656 reviews560 followers
May 5, 2020
David Sedaris opens with his experience standing in line waiting for a author to sign a book, just to be in front of an admired person even if just for a second, and the betrayal he felt when given short shrift by a favorite. Deciding then that he would always engage with a person who lined up for his signature. Having stood in several of these lines, waiting for Mr. Sedaris to sign a book, I know he does. In one case, he even had stickers he affixed to the page (he put a picture of a deer on my sister in law's copy, calling her a "dear"). He didn't care that the line, longest I ever saw in that bookstore, wended through to the coffee shop and out into the parking lot. I'll read anything he writes. He never disappoints.
Profile Image for Diana.
451 reviews29 followers
May 13, 2022
I admit feeling a little disappointed in the past after reading a David Sedaris book I had high expectations for. This time I went with the audio version read by the author himself and I highly recommend this. Every time I have listened to an author read their own work I have enjoyed it very much!

Very short book full of lots of laughs.
Profile Image for Sonja Arlow.
1,201 reviews7 followers
August 21, 2020
3.5 stars

I am not sure if I would have bought this because it is so short, but I am glad I could listen to this on loan. This author’s books really work exceptionally well on audio.

If you are not familiar with his work, I would suggest starting with , if you are already a fan then you will find this a treat.
Profile Image for Jill.
389 reviews189 followers
February 15, 2021
I love laughing out loud. Recounting various book tours, this 11 page essay is great fun.


Profile Image for Tania.
1,398 reviews334 followers
July 27, 2020
3.5 stars. Short but sweet. If you're a fan of David Sedaris I highly recommend this short audio original about book tours. In less than half an hour he had me laughing out loud quite a few times, and towards the end smiling with tears in my eyes (which I think is his specialty).

Has anyone listened to , and if so how was it?
Profile Image for Heidi Kirsch.
211 reviews1 follower
April 28, 2020
When is he not funny and a lot naughty? Too short though
Profile Image for Helga Cohen.
668 reviews
May 8, 2020
Themes and Variation an Amazon Prime original story is another great essay from David Sedaris that is perceptive and humorous. Sedaris sees things, people and situations in his own unique way/ He is always a great way to spend a little time and break. This is another Sedaris gem.
Profile Image for Emily.
57 reviews6 followers
April 28, 2020
David at his most David. The last line always gets you, even in a single essay.
Profile Image for Alicia Hendrickson.
52 reviews
May 5, 2020
Hilarious!!! I so needed a laugh and I got several during this one!!! 🤣
Profile Image for Susan.
560 reviews46 followers
July 25, 2020
3.5*
A funny and entertaining look into the life of an author....it’s short, but well worth reading.
Profile Image for Zaphirenia.
289 reviews213 followers
September 13, 2020
Fun, probably will not remember that I read it two years from now.
Profile Image for Pam (Pam's Shenanigans).
676 reviews100 followers
June 19, 2021
More thoughts will also be shared on my Youtube channel!

A short and funny book that chronicles David's encounters with interesting people during his book tours. Looking forward to reading his other books!
Profile Image for Barbara.
1,068 reviews151 followers
December 23, 2020
Amazon Prime Kindle readers can get this for free - and it's so short (at about 18 pages - and I think that includes the author profile at the end) that I'd struggle to justify buying it.

I had it on a free 'loan' and decided to clean up my loan list to make space for some new reads.

I LOVE David Sedaris. I've seen him live - he's so understated and so laugh-out-loud funny that I really recommend booking if you ever get the chance. I had the pleasure of getting to talk to him before the show (recommendation - get him to sign before, not after, as the lines are much shorter). I didn't know about his bad experience of being snubbed by an author, but I can confirm that for the short time you're with him, he makes you feel like you're the centre of his universe. I apologised that I was probably going to cough through his set and he drew a swollen uvula in the front of my book with a label saying 'Your uvula'. It looked oddly obscene. He then told me stories about weird names he'd been asked to sign books for.

His set that year included the joy of women removing their bras (can't say I've ever done that - I just buy ones that fit properly) and about men putting strange things up their bottoms. I smiled to myself as I read and remembered.

There were a few new bits that I enjoyed - the distribution of money to poor people turned into a very Sedarian challenge.

Honestly, this guy can do no wrong in my eyes although I still live with the disappointment of the Santaland Diaries.

It'll take you just a few minutes to read and they'll be excellent minutes. Go for it.
Profile Image for Glire.
794 reviews617 followers
June 26, 2020
El humor negro suele ser mi favorito, pero de la mano de Sedaris se torna más en cinismo egocentrico y menos en humor. Nada como un libro de no ficción para darte cuenta que un autor no te agrada como persona.
Profile Image for Miranda Remaklus.
113 reviews11 followers
April 29, 2020
Really quick read! You can hear him telling you this great story based on his book signing events. If you enjoy David, please read this one.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 749 reviews

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