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The Position
From the bestselling author of The Wife —Meg Wolitzer’s “hilariously moving, sharply written novel� ( USA TODAY ), hailed by critics and loved by readers worldwide, with its “dead-on observations about sex, marriage, and the family ties that strangle and bind� ( Cleveland Plain Dealer ).
Crackling with intelligence and humor, The Position is the masterful story of one extraordinary family at the hilarious height of the sexual revolution—and through the thirty-year hangover that followed.
In 1975, Paul and Roz Mellow write a bestselling Joy of Sex -type book that mortifies their four school-aged children and ultimately changes the shape of the family forever. Thirty years later, as the now dispersed family members argue over whether to reissue the book, we follow the complicated lives of each of the grown children and their conflicts in love, work, marriage, parenting, and, of course, sex—all shadowed by the indelible specter of their highly sexualized parents. Insightful, panoramic, and compulsively readable, The Position is an American original.
Crackling with intelligence and humor, The Position is the masterful story of one extraordinary family at the hilarious height of the sexual revolution—and through the thirty-year hangover that followed.
In 1975, Paul and Roz Mellow write a bestselling Joy of Sex -type book that mortifies their four school-aged children and ultimately changes the shape of the family forever. Thirty years later, as the now dispersed family members argue over whether to reissue the book, we follow the complicated lives of each of the grown children and their conflicts in love, work, marriage, parenting, and, of course, sex—all shadowed by the indelible specter of their highly sexualized parents. Insightful, panoramic, and compulsively readable, The Position is an American original.
307 pages, Paperback
First published March 1, 2005
306 people are currently reading
3,963 people want to read
About the author
Meg Wolitzer
40Ìýbooks2,975ÌýfollowersMeg Wolitzer is the New York Times–bestselling author of The Interestings, The Uncoupling, The Ten-Year Nap, The Position, The Wife, and Sleepwalking. She is also the author of the young adult novel Belzhar. Wolitzer lives in New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 486 reviews
December 22, 2015
This is one of those ‘ennui of modern American life as seen through one dysfunctional family� novels that I normally avoid like the plague � and indeed, an early chapter featuring yet another melancholy genius worrying about his antidepressants and sexual hang-ups made me fear the worst. But I was strangely won round, mainly thanks to some smart narrative focus which helps keep things tight and under control.
Our main characters are the four children of Roz and Paul Mellow, a couple who achieved notoriety in the seventies by bringing out a Joy of Sex-style lovemaking manual, complete with explicit illustrations of themselves in various acrobatic positions; now, thirty years later, a re-issue is planned, which gives us an excuse to catch up on how their children have dealt with this weight of embarrassment, inspiration, anticipation and disillusion about sex as they've grown up to have their own relationships.
Inasmuch as this is a literary novel about sex, it's remarkably successful. The sex scenes themselves are probably the best bits, pleasingly diverse and realistic and crowded around with the participants' thoughts, anxieties, awkwardnesses. There are plenty of moments in here where you think, oh I've totally thought the same thing, I've never seen a novelist mention that before � or, even better, where Wolitzer makes you feel instant recognition for something that you haven't experienced in exactly that way yourself.
I said these scenes were realistic, but perhaps ‘plausible� is a better word. The point is not exactly that you recognise everything as being true to life, but rather that the descriptions are so sharp and so free from cliché, and that what is being described is what is often passed over by other novelists. Verisimilitude is not always required for this to come off well. The man-on-man bits, for instance, sometimes seem more like how a female novelist might imagine gay sex than anything totally naturalistic � a character reminisces about
I'm…pretty sure men don't have sex by rubbing their dicks together, but OK let's go with it. The lesbian encounters are also somewhat detached from reality, not least because they involve one of the lead actresses from Friends (or its fictional stand-in); this, thinks her partner blissfully,
Again, this is all very nicely written without necessarily being wholly convincing. And lots of other lines could be cited. The female body, in a sexual context, is described as ‘that banshee with its throat sounds and wet center and locked jaw and tree-dweller toes� � that's weird but it works � and an over-attentive husband is slyly critiqued for approaching sex with his wife with
Also nice to see how many of these scenes are written against the ‘accepted� narrative of such things � a brilliantly-written moment of childhood sexual abuse, to take the most striking example, is presented as something irritating, strange, curious, but not something overwhelmingly damaging that is supposed to leave lifetime scars. At times like this Wolitzer judges the tone perfectly.
The problem with this book is that there is a fair amount of filler � something slightly rambling about the prose style, something a bit too taking-the-pencil-for-a-walk about many of the scenes, which are apt to digress into the sort of moody ruminations on modern life that you can read in a hundred other lit-fic paperbacks. The long, elaborative, multi-clause sentences that Wolitzer favours when she's looking for literary effect don't quite work for me; the novel's opening paragraph-sentence is a good example of what I mean:
If that works for you then you'll definitely love this book; if you find it a little overwritten and creative-writing-course then you'll understand why I had some problems settling into the narrative voice. But complaining too much seems very unkind with a book like this, which is really a lot of fun and which convinced me that there was an underlying irony and wisdom holding things together; it's endearing, it's perceptive, it's well worth a go for any couples taking a break between ‘Riding St George� and ‘Electric Forgiveness�.
Our main characters are the four children of Roz and Paul Mellow, a couple who achieved notoriety in the seventies by bringing out a Joy of Sex-style lovemaking manual, complete with explicit illustrations of themselves in various acrobatic positions; now, thirty years later, a re-issue is planned, which gives us an excuse to catch up on how their children have dealt with this weight of embarrassment, inspiration, anticipation and disillusion about sex as they've grown up to have their own relationships.
Inasmuch as this is a literary novel about sex, it's remarkably successful. The sex scenes themselves are probably the best bits, pleasingly diverse and realistic and crowded around with the participants' thoughts, anxieties, awkwardnesses. There are plenty of moments in here where you think, oh I've totally thought the same thing, I've never seen a novelist mention that before � or, even better, where Wolitzer makes you feel instant recognition for something that you haven't experienced in exactly that way yourself.
One night, when Roz and Paul were making love, she heard herself command Paul, Fuck me, and she realized that she'd forgotten that this was exactly what he was already doing; she'd been lost inside the act, and it was like listening to music and thinking, I'd like to listen to some music now, because you were so stimulated that you needed an influx of new stimulation, an overlay of something else. Bring on the next thing, you thought, come on, come on, make it snappy.
I said these scenes were realistic, but perhaps ‘plausible� is a better word. The point is not exactly that you recognise everything as being true to life, but rather that the descriptions are so sharp and so free from cliché, and that what is being described is what is often passed over by other novelists. Verisimilitude is not always required for this to come off well. The man-on-man bits, for instance, sometimes seem more like how a female novelist might imagine gay sex than anything totally naturalistic � a character reminisces about
the wonderful rub of parts that even to this day reminded Dashiell of Boy Scouts, trying to make a fire with two sticks. You could feel boyish and scoutlike in bed.
I'm…pretty sure men don't have sex by rubbing their dicks together, but OK let's go with it. The lesbian encounters are also somewhat detached from reality, not least because they involve one of the lead actresses from Friends (or its fictional stand-in); this, thinks her partner blissfully,
is so amazingly aesthetic. That was the thing about two good-looking women having sex. At first you could almost die from the delicacy, from the long wrists, yoga-bred bodies, and subtle flashes of thin gold chain or ear-stud or pearl-gloss pedicure. Sex between two women now seemed to her like an exclusive club, and in order to join you would need to look like this, and admire yourself and the other person, and feel a great relief that no one else was allowed in.
Again, this is all very nicely written without necessarily being wholly convincing. And lots of other lines could be cited. The female body, in a sexual context, is described as ‘that banshee with its throat sounds and wet center and locked jaw and tree-dweller toes� � that's weird but it works � and an over-attentive husband is slyly critiqued for approaching sex with his wife with
the kind of interest that men sometimes had in wines or stereo equipment or cars. How did they taste, sound, run? Which was the best one, and what was the best way to try it out?
Also nice to see how many of these scenes are written against the ‘accepted� narrative of such things � a brilliantly-written moment of childhood sexual abuse, to take the most striking example, is presented as something irritating, strange, curious, but not something overwhelmingly damaging that is supposed to leave lifetime scars. At times like this Wolitzer judges the tone perfectly.
The problem with this book is that there is a fair amount of filler � something slightly rambling about the prose style, something a bit too taking-the-pencil-for-a-walk about many of the scenes, which are apt to digress into the sort of moody ruminations on modern life that you can read in a hundred other lit-fic paperbacks. The long, elaborative, multi-clause sentences that Wolitzer favours when she's looking for literary effect don't quite work for me; the novel's opening paragraph-sentence is a good example of what I mean:
The book was placed on a high shelf in the den, as though it were the only copy in the world and if the children didn't find it they would be forever unaware of the sexual lives of their parents, forever ignorant of the press of hot skin, the overlapping voices, the stir and scrape of the brass headboard as it lightly battered the plaster, creating twin finial-shaped depressions over the years in the wall of the bedroom in which the parents slept, or didn't sleep, depending on the night.
If that works for you then you'll definitely love this book; if you find it a little overwritten and creative-writing-course then you'll understand why I had some problems settling into the narrative voice. But complaining too much seems very unkind with a book like this, which is really a lot of fun and which convinced me that there was an underlying irony and wisdom holding things together; it's endearing, it's perceptive, it's well worth a go for any couples taking a break between ‘Riding St George� and ‘Electric Forgiveness�.
May 3, 2012
Where to begin? I love Meg Wolitzer. Only recently did I become aware of her, and to date I've only read two of her books. But from what I know, from what I've read, this is the novelist for me. This is someone interested in the things I'm interested in -- human relationships, relationships between parents and children, relationships between lovers. There's romance here, but never sentimentality. There's sex, but it's always realistic and tasteful. She's not afraid to deal with the great existential issues, but her novels are always so well-grounded in her characters that they never feel pedantic or overly cerebral.
Meg Wolitzer is -- pardon the cliche -- a hidden treasure. If you like Wharton and Woolf, if you like Franzen and Eugenides, then you need to check out Meg Wolitzer.
Meg Wolitzer is -- pardon the cliche -- a hidden treasure. If you like Wharton and Woolf, if you like Franzen and Eugenides, then you need to check out Meg Wolitzer.
April 17, 2009
When I first read the back of this book I thought it sounded potentially hilarious and at the very least quite interesting. And while the premise certainly is interesting, Wolitzer falls a little flat on her delivery. The story begins in the seventies when the Mellows first publish their how-to sex guide (featuring illustrations of themselves in all the positions!) but rapidly moves to the present day and focuses on the current lives and loves of the four grown children.
It's hard to imagine, but this story truly was boring. The book was well-written, the author's way with language and humor was fairly adept, and yet I was just soooo bored. The adult characters were really still just whiny adolescents blaming their parents for all their problems, and the parents were now retirees unable to accept the realities of age and still stuck in the memory of their sexual heyday.
Wolitzer's primary focus in the book is certainly the notion of self-discovery -- a worthy one for discussion and certainly relevant to any reader, as were other primary issues (family, expectations, sexuality, acceptance.) I think all the right elements were present in the novel but never quite achieved their potential. I give this book 2.5 stars - it would make a good beach read, but make sure you're wearing sunscreen in case you fall asleep!
It's hard to imagine, but this story truly was boring. The book was well-written, the author's way with language and humor was fairly adept, and yet I was just soooo bored. The adult characters were really still just whiny adolescents blaming their parents for all their problems, and the parents were now retirees unable to accept the realities of age and still stuck in the memory of their sexual heyday.
Wolitzer's primary focus in the book is certainly the notion of self-discovery -- a worthy one for discussion and certainly relevant to any reader, as were other primary issues (family, expectations, sexuality, acceptance.) I think all the right elements were present in the novel but never quite achieved their potential. I give this book 2.5 stars - it would make a good beach read, but make sure you're wearing sunscreen in case you fall asleep!
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July 15, 2020This novel has Meg Wolitzer's signature charm, which I love, and the premise is interesting: the children of a couple who wrote an illustrated sex manual find the book and the discovery changes everyone.
March 9, 2022
to hear my thoughts on this book over on my Booktube channel, abookolive!
November 28, 2013
I woke up in the middle of the night and all I could think about was being only 25% away from finishing this book, so I got up and did. That's the strength of Meg Wolitzer's characters. They read in a way that feels so real that when the book is put down, the reader keeps on thinking about them and wondering. She has a great gift for telling things in multiple discourse, flashing forward and back and looking at the same events from different characters' experiences and never loses the reader.
March 14, 2008
I listened to Wolitzer give a talk at a writing conference in 2007. She said that she was intrigued by writing about the mundanities of life, like food and sex. She didn't think people wrote well about it.
She preached what was to me a curious distance--she didn't think that sex scenes should be titillating, and hers are mostly not.
Despite that, her characters are well developed, and her writing is very good. I was quite amused throughout most of the book. There appeared to me to be some point of view problems, although I'll probably give her the benefit of the doubt on that, since she's far more experienced at this than I am.
All in all, a good read with an interesting premise.
She preached what was to me a curious distance--she didn't think that sex scenes should be titillating, and hers are mostly not.
Despite that, her characters are well developed, and her writing is very good. I was quite amused throughout most of the book. There appeared to me to be some point of view problems, although I'll probably give her the benefit of the doubt on that, since she's far more experienced at this than I am.
All in all, a good read with an interesting premise.
March 31, 2008
Fantastic. Meg writes in a way that makes me want to write. She has a wit and a humor so subtle and smart that it takes my breath away.
Her knowledge of what makes people "tick" (especially CHILDREN) and the ways our young souls are marred is at such a depth that I wonder sometimes about her own story as I read: HOW does she know so much about human nature?
Brilliant, smart, biting and kind - a feminist who is not held down or in her anger. She sees well, she loves well, and I am always left changed by her writing.
Her knowledge of what makes people "tick" (especially CHILDREN) and the ways our young souls are marred is at such a depth that I wonder sometimes about her own story as I read: HOW does she know so much about human nature?
Brilliant, smart, biting and kind - a feminist who is not held down or in her anger. She sees well, she loves well, and I am always left changed by her writing.
July 7, 2013
Enjoyed this one but now donating as clearing bookshelves for move.
December 3, 2022
blah, phew.
ETA: (I know what she's going for, I just don't particularly...like it)
ETA: (I know what she's going for, I just don't particularly...like it)
October 18, 2015
Your parents write a book about sex and are featured in tasteful drawings in many, many positions, one of which they invent.
You and your three siblings discover said bestseller on top of a cupboard when you all are six to 14 years old.
Surprise, surprise. Screwed up adulting in your future. Guaranteed.
You and your three siblings discover said bestseller on top of a cupboard when you all are six to 14 years old.
Surprise, surprise. Screwed up adulting in your future. Guaranteed.
March 15, 2008
A very odd book. No discenerable plot. Basically just a sequence of events.
September 23, 2015
eh... it sounded like an interesting story line but it really lacked anything significant or meaningful. I didn't find it to be funny, happy or sad. Just boring.
August 28, 2017
3.5 stars
This is the first book by Meg Wolitzer that I've managed to finish because for a while I kept buying her books without actually finishing (or even starting) any of them. I was just straight up collecting them.
I enjoyed this, although it took me a while to get into it, but I also stopped thinking about it the moment I finished the last page.
The writing was exceptionally good. The characters were flawed but well written. The premise, revolving around the infamous book, was great. The whole novel lacked of substance, though.
Meh.
This is the first book by Meg Wolitzer that I've managed to finish because for a while I kept buying her books without actually finishing (or even starting) any of them. I was just straight up collecting them.
I enjoyed this, although it took me a while to get into it, but I also stopped thinking about it the moment I finished the last page.
The writing was exceptionally good. The characters were flawed but well written. The premise, revolving around the infamous book, was great. The whole novel lacked of substance, though.
Meh.
June 5, 2016
I love the creative plot ideas Wolitzer seems to have no problem coming up with. "The Position" creates the what-if scenario involving two parents who write a best selling manual on sex. Real smart. If you love your children, you do not publicize dozens of baked sketches of the two of you having sex in caps Kuma-Sutra positions. They even create their own position, christened "Electric Forgiveness". Something like sitting facing each other, wrapping arms in a hug-like position, then inserting the penis into the vagina and slowly, "lovingly" gyrating until climax; at which point, both should "fall back onto the bed". It is, apparently, " a wonderful way to achieve climax quickly and lovingly after a scene of anger or distress". Ha. How completely not creative or new.
Anyways, although I have these complaints, it is actually regarding Wolitzer's characters, not a flaw in her writing. Not really identifying nor actually liking any of her characters (except maybe Dashiell, although his peer-pressured switch to the Republican Partyis a serious deterrent), it says something that I still liked this book a lot. Sure, it was a little annoying. The first reaction would likely be: "Yes, purposely exclude your children, ages 7-15, to your best selling guide to sex featuring images of the two of you in various positions, and you will likely scar them for life. So what?"
Although that is indeed what I thought at first, Wolitzer's insightful description of a dysfunctional family, sibling dynamics, and the price ocess of reconciling the last is what makes this novel shine.
**** Spoilers ****
Elaborates on how each of their four children are affected by this. Oldest sister has disowned herself, making her own way. Older brother in New York. Not married, but having problems in his long term relationship. Sexual problems, that is as a result side effects from an antidepressant medication. He is visiting his father in Florida, where he moved following the Famous Mellows' divorce. His mother wants him to convince him to republish their sex book for the fiftieth anniversary. Younger son is gay, now married to a wonderful man. However, he is unfortunately destined to be struck withHuntington's. The youngest has had self esteem problems all her life, only now meeting someone of serious interest. Of course, ironically, she meets him when visiting her childhood home; he is the son of the couple currently living there. As for the Mellow parents, the father is still in love with his wife (although she left him at about the same time the success of the book was exponentially increasing). Ironically, it is for their photographer for their sexual positions, Jonathan. Now, she is still happily married to him, desperately wanting Ira publication of she and her ex-husband's masterpiece from 50 years ago. Unfortunately, he is highly resistant, until, finally he is able to like go out there spending a month with his oldest son, getting hit to know him better for the first time in their lives.
With these fascinating worlds with other magical realism or intriguing circumstances that I only wonder how no one came up with it before Wolitzer had written another winner.
Anyways, although I have these complaints, it is actually regarding Wolitzer's characters, not a flaw in her writing. Not really identifying nor actually liking any of her characters (except maybe Dashiell, although his peer-pressured switch to the Republican Partyis a serious deterrent), it says something that I still liked this book a lot. Sure, it was a little annoying. The first reaction would likely be: "Yes, purposely exclude your children, ages 7-15, to your best selling guide to sex featuring images of the two of you in various positions, and you will likely scar them for life. So what?"
Although that is indeed what I thought at first, Wolitzer's insightful description of a dysfunctional family, sibling dynamics, and the price ocess of reconciling the last is what makes this novel shine.
**** Spoilers ****
Elaborates on how each of their four children are affected by this. Oldest sister has disowned herself, making her own way. Older brother in New York. Not married, but having problems in his long term relationship. Sexual problems, that is as a result side effects from an antidepressant medication. He is visiting his father in Florida, where he moved following the Famous Mellows' divorce. His mother wants him to convince him to republish their sex book for the fiftieth anniversary. Younger son is gay, now married to a wonderful man. However, he is unfortunately destined to be struck withHuntington's. The youngest has had self esteem problems all her life, only now meeting someone of serious interest. Of course, ironically, she meets him when visiting her childhood home; he is the son of the couple currently living there. As for the Mellow parents, the father is still in love with his wife (although she left him at about the same time the success of the book was exponentially increasing). Ironically, it is for their photographer for their sexual positions, Jonathan. Now, she is still happily married to him, desperately wanting Ira publication of she and her ex-husband's masterpiece from 50 years ago. Unfortunately, he is highly resistant, until, finally he is able to like go out there spending a month with his oldest son, getting hit to know him better for the first time in their lives.
With these fascinating worlds with other magical realism or intriguing circumstances that I only wonder how no one came up with it before Wolitzer had written another winner.
February 5, 2013
Meg Wolitzer takes up an entire shelf at my local library. Where is a girl to start? Ten-Year Nap? Um, I haven't actually woken up from mine yet. So, no thanks. The Uncoupling? The Wife? Um, relationships are hard. I get it... So, no thanks. The Position? Let's see... Children haunted by parent's sex book. Crackling with intelligence and humor. Set in 1970s suburbia. That should be a suitable escape - nothing that hits too close to home.
Boy, was I wrong. This story, with its seemingly far-fetched premise of four children who accidentally discover a book with lifelike drawings of their parents in various and sundry sexual positions, is really a story about the every-family.
A story about the exercise in failure that is all parenting.
A story about those un-aired grievances families drag around like leg irons.
A story about the massive potholes we all have to navigate along the road to adulthood.
A story about the fleeting, finicky, feline nature of sexual desire.
A story about how love can just up and walk away when you least expect it.
All of these themes are endlessly relatable, the stuff of practically every shelf in the library - and yet Meg Wolitzer's prose has a fresh, crisp quality that doesn't feel pre-chewed - it's worth the read for her metaphors alone!
Chances are that the characters that inhabit this book are no strangers: first born, over-achiever Michael, good-time girl, lost-angel Holly, conflicted conservative Dashiell and unattractive slow-starter Claudia. A Breakfast Club of siblings. They each find a kind of closure in the end - slightly more than resignation with their lot and slightly less than sailing off into the sunset on Larry Ellison's yacht. Tidy, but not too tidy.
And the pages are full of such smart observations and ideas that Meg W. will take a permanent place at your virtual dinner party table. My favorite is the take down/defense of the GOP from Dashiell, the Log Cabin Republican son. Or maybe the spot-on description of the film school for second-chancers and trust-fund-babies which the youngest daughter Claudia attends. All seemingly insignificant details, but ones that deepen the reading and have you starting conversations with the book.
Escape, you will have to find elsewhere. Dive in here and you may be surprised to learn how much solace there is in imperfection. That's what this book is: a toast to imperfection.
Boy, was I wrong. This story, with its seemingly far-fetched premise of four children who accidentally discover a book with lifelike drawings of their parents in various and sundry sexual positions, is really a story about the every-family.
A story about the exercise in failure that is all parenting.
A story about those un-aired grievances families drag around like leg irons.
A story about the massive potholes we all have to navigate along the road to adulthood.
A story about the fleeting, finicky, feline nature of sexual desire.
A story about how love can just up and walk away when you least expect it.
All of these themes are endlessly relatable, the stuff of practically every shelf in the library - and yet Meg Wolitzer's prose has a fresh, crisp quality that doesn't feel pre-chewed - it's worth the read for her metaphors alone!
Chances are that the characters that inhabit this book are no strangers: first born, over-achiever Michael, good-time girl, lost-angel Holly, conflicted conservative Dashiell and unattractive slow-starter Claudia. A Breakfast Club of siblings. They each find a kind of closure in the end - slightly more than resignation with their lot and slightly less than sailing off into the sunset on Larry Ellison's yacht. Tidy, but not too tidy.
And the pages are full of such smart observations and ideas that Meg W. will take a permanent place at your virtual dinner party table. My favorite is the take down/defense of the GOP from Dashiell, the Log Cabin Republican son. Or maybe the spot-on description of the film school for second-chancers and trust-fund-babies which the youngest daughter Claudia attends. All seemingly insignificant details, but ones that deepen the reading and have you starting conversations with the book.
Escape, you will have to find elsewhere. Dive in here and you may be surprised to learn how much solace there is in imperfection. That's what this book is: a toast to imperfection.
March 1, 2010
How would you and your siblings react if your parents had written the nation's best selling sex guide (complete with graphic illustrations of themselves demonstrating various positions) of the 1970's? This novel opens with the four Mellow children gathering in the den one afternoon to page through the volume. Their initial reactions as well as the lifelong effect of carrying the Mellow name and feeling like the whole world has watched your parents have sex over and over again is chronicled in this book. Wolitzer also examines the effect of the guide's success on the marriage of the authors, Paul and Roz Mellow.
Wolizter's strength is well developed characters who come across as real people. She transitions reasonably well between flashbacks and present day to give appropriate back story, which aids in fleshing out the characters. It's easy to imagine these people interacting together as a family in all the comfort and tension that implies. Even the secondary characters were well written. The novel wraps up in a reasonably honest fashion. It's not happily ever after for every character but neither is it hopelessness for all.
The one thing I found a bit annoying was sometimes feeling like that irritating narrator from Desperate Housewives was telling the story. At times I also wanted to slap a few of the characters and tell them, "You can't blame all your problems in life on this book." Fortunately, as the characters grew, their awareness and ability to parse out cause and effect did too.
Wolizter's strength is well developed characters who come across as real people. She transitions reasonably well between flashbacks and present day to give appropriate back story, which aids in fleshing out the characters. It's easy to imagine these people interacting together as a family in all the comfort and tension that implies. Even the secondary characters were well written. The novel wraps up in a reasonably honest fashion. It's not happily ever after for every character but neither is it hopelessness for all.
The one thing I found a bit annoying was sometimes feeling like that irritating narrator from Desperate Housewives was telling the story. At times I also wanted to slap a few of the characters and tell them, "You can't blame all your problems in life on this book." Fortunately, as the characters grew, their awareness and ability to parse out cause and effect did too.
August 7, 2015
What a difficult book to rate! First let's start with the (in my opinion) pretty weird premise for a book.
In the 1970s, a husband and wife who have 4 children decide to write a book about their sex life complete with pictures and one of the kids discovers the book and shares it with his siblings. So now all 4 children have seen graphic pictures of their parents having sex.
Despite this really weird beginning for a book, it is very well-written and as the book continues by following the lives of the family members, it really is quite compelling. Needless to say, all 4 kids end up with "issues" as adults - one is a drug addict, one a homosexual, one suffers from anxiety and depression and one has an appalling lack of self-esteem and direction.
The book has some really interesting family dynamics and the author is truly a wonderful writer - in some ways this book reminds me of John Irving's earlier books - wonderful tales based on some fanciful ideas.
If you are "conservative" (read: prudish) this book is not for you - some very graphic descriptions of the sex act between men and women, men and men, women and women....
In the 1970s, a husband and wife who have 4 children decide to write a book about their sex life complete with pictures and one of the kids discovers the book and shares it with his siblings. So now all 4 children have seen graphic pictures of their parents having sex.
Despite this really weird beginning for a book, it is very well-written and as the book continues by following the lives of the family members, it really is quite compelling. Needless to say, all 4 kids end up with "issues" as adults - one is a drug addict, one a homosexual, one suffers from anxiety and depression and one has an appalling lack of self-esteem and direction.
The book has some really interesting family dynamics and the author is truly a wonderful writer - in some ways this book reminds me of John Irving's earlier books - wonderful tales based on some fanciful ideas.
If you are "conservative" (read: prudish) this book is not for you - some very graphic descriptions of the sex act between men and women, men and men, women and women....
July 4, 2013
I loved this book from the first word to the last! I don't know how I have missed all of Meg Wolitzer's novels over the years but she is my new favorite, albiet belated, discovery.
Roz and Paul Mellow become rich and famous in the 1970s when their book "Pleasuring" (think "Joy of Sex") becomes hugely successful. The book contains many drawings of the couple in various sexual poses. "The Position" begins on the day their four children discover the book hidden away in the den and follows the family over the next 30+ years, recording how the fallout of the book impacts them all.
What I loved most about the book is how every character was completely true and three dimensional; no heroes, no evil characters. Everyone acted well and not so well. And the writing is just perfect.
Roz and Paul Mellow become rich and famous in the 1970s when their book "Pleasuring" (think "Joy of Sex") becomes hugely successful. The book contains many drawings of the couple in various sexual poses. "The Position" begins on the day their four children discover the book hidden away in the den and follows the family over the next 30+ years, recording how the fallout of the book impacts them all.
What I loved most about the book is how every character was completely true and three dimensional; no heroes, no evil characters. Everyone acted well and not so well. And the writing is just perfect.
July 12, 2012
I've been on a real suburban fiction kick lately and this one really sung to me. It follows a family who lives change in the 70's after the parents write an illustrated sex manual a la "The Joy of Sex."
While the book becomes famous and offers the family money and fame, the (sex) lives of all four children and the parents are affected in many different ways as they move on to adulthood.
The prose in this is wonderful and it's not a Good Read but a great one.
While the book becomes famous and offers the family money and fame, the (sex) lives of all four children and the parents are affected in many different ways as they move on to adulthood.
The prose in this is wonderful and it's not a Good Read but a great one.
May 25, 2022
I hated everything about this book but I was over halfway through by the time I realized my despise. I am so sad
April 22, 2019
I've read four of Wolitzer's books now. Just like the other three (The Female Persuasion, The Interestings, and The Wife), The Position an incredible piece of work.
One of Wolitzer's powers is her ability to make the characters feel so plausibly real. When her characters fall in love, it's electric. When they cheat on one another, it's heart breaking. When one gets sick, it's terrifying. The lives of these characters could be my friends and family, or they could be me. The situations are believable, the reactions true. It's impressive, moving, and occasionally, devastating.
The way Wolitzer writes about the passage of time and our connections to physical objects is one of my favorite things about her writing. Take this short quote:
I don't generally consider myself sentimental in regards to the stuff that I own, but sometimes I do think about the objects in my life - cars, books, DVDs, games, clothes, etc., and think about the stories behind them, and the choices that led to them ending up in my day to day life. These choices often seem inconsequential - What color should we paint the bedroom? What couch should we buy? What painting should we hang on the wall? - but how you respond to all these tiny silly situations shapes the world you live in, and that world is all you will ever truly know, and that counts for something, at least to you.
The mug I drink my coffee from doesn't mean anything by itself, but where it came from certainly does. Maybe it's one of the first mugs my wife and I ever picked out together for our house, maybe it's a souvenir from a memorable trip, maybe it was handed down to me from my parents when I first moved out, or, maybe we just bought it one afternoon aimlessly wandering around Target. No matter how it ended up in my life, it did, and here it is. And maybe I'll break it, and it will be gone forever, or maybe I'll keep it until the day that I die, and it will be donated to a thrift store, where someone else will buy it, and it will become part of their story.
Wolitzer captures the wonder of this kind of ordinary in a way that is truly special. The mixed reception for this book makes it obvious that not everyone feels the same way I do, but I am supremely grateful that I discovered her writing. She makes me think about the lives of the people around me more often and with more empathy, and she makes me think about my life in ways that I never have.
As I always do when I read Wolitzer, I highlighted quite a few passages as I read, but I'll leave just one more here that I think illustrates her power.
One of Wolitzer's powers is her ability to make the characters feel so plausibly real. When her characters fall in love, it's electric. When they cheat on one another, it's heart breaking. When one gets sick, it's terrifying. The lives of these characters could be my friends and family, or they could be me. The situations are believable, the reactions true. It's impressive, moving, and occasionally, devastating.
The way Wolitzer writes about the passage of time and our connections to physical objects is one of my favorite things about her writing. Take this short quote:
Roz closed her eyes for a moment, and then she let them fly open, wanting to be surprised all over again at the way Jack had sifted through their things and ordered them while she was gone. She also wanted to look more closely at all the things they had gathered over time, or that had incidentally gathered around them. It seemed that Roz Mellow was looking at time itself now, which had somehow expanded so greatly that it had managed to fill every closet and room and hallway of this house.
I don't generally consider myself sentimental in regards to the stuff that I own, but sometimes I do think about the objects in my life - cars, books, DVDs, games, clothes, etc., and think about the stories behind them, and the choices that led to them ending up in my day to day life. These choices often seem inconsequential - What color should we paint the bedroom? What couch should we buy? What painting should we hang on the wall? - but how you respond to all these tiny silly situations shapes the world you live in, and that world is all you will ever truly know, and that counts for something, at least to you.
The mug I drink my coffee from doesn't mean anything by itself, but where it came from certainly does. Maybe it's one of the first mugs my wife and I ever picked out together for our house, maybe it's a souvenir from a memorable trip, maybe it was handed down to me from my parents when I first moved out, or, maybe we just bought it one afternoon aimlessly wandering around Target. No matter how it ended up in my life, it did, and here it is. And maybe I'll break it, and it will be gone forever, or maybe I'll keep it until the day that I die, and it will be donated to a thrift store, where someone else will buy it, and it will become part of their story.
Wolitzer captures the wonder of this kind of ordinary in a way that is truly special. The mixed reception for this book makes it obvious that not everyone feels the same way I do, but I am supremely grateful that I discovered her writing. She makes me think about the lives of the people around me more often and with more empathy, and she makes me think about my life in ways that I never have.
As I always do when I read Wolitzer, I highlighted quite a few passages as I read, but I'll leave just one more here that I think illustrates her power.
They thought briefly of their children, as all parents do, picturing a scene of laughter and drinking and jokes with cultural references that neither Roz nor Paul would understand, for references had changed, and jokes had changed, and after a certain age it was just impossible to keep up, and then after a while you didn’t want to try, but left the new references to the newer people and simply kept thinking about the old references, the names from past decades that still rang inside you.
December 30, 2021
This somewhat curious, but definitely compelling, novel by Meg Wolitzer should win an award for the strangest plot premise: The married parents of four school-age children have written a runaway bestseller—complete with explicit illustrations!—on how to have sex. What effect does this have on their children as they grow up and become adults in the shadow of such parents?
It's the mid-1970s, and Paul and Roz Mellow have been married long enough to have four children, ages 15 to 6, but they are still madly in love and in lust with each other. They decide to enlighten the rest of the world about their bedroom secrets by writing "Pleasuring: One Couple's Journey to Fulfillment." (Think "The Joy of Sex.") For months on end, the couple even pose nude having sex so an artist can capture their instructions in graphic illustrations. One day when Paul and Roz are off delivering a lecture in New York City, Michael, age 13, finds "Pleasuring" high up on a bookshelf. He reads it. And then he shares it with his siblings. All of them—even the 6-year-old. None of them is ever the same again. Each of them deals with the shock and embarrassment in different ways—from self-destructive to just plain sad. The children's lives are further complicated when Roz does something truly scandalous that has dire consequences for the family.
What makes this book so interesting is the fact that it primarily focuses on the four children and the effect their parents' bizarre and unusual actions have on them over the next 30 years. While parts of the novel are truly gripping, other parts are kind of boring. Why is it boring? The characters.
My No. 1 complaint—and the only reason I didn't give the book five stars—is that this is a character-driven novel, but in some cases, the characters aren't that well defined and become more like a charcoal caricature instead of a colorful, vividly drawn portrait. Because of this it doesn't quite succeed, even with the incredibly creative plot premise.
Just know this before you start reading: Because of the plot, this book it is more sexually explicit than many literary novels. If you're offended by this kind of thing, this isn't the book for you.
It's the mid-1970s, and Paul and Roz Mellow have been married long enough to have four children, ages 15 to 6, but they are still madly in love and in lust with each other. They decide to enlighten the rest of the world about their bedroom secrets by writing "Pleasuring: One Couple's Journey to Fulfillment." (Think "The Joy of Sex.") For months on end, the couple even pose nude having sex so an artist can capture their instructions in graphic illustrations. One day when Paul and Roz are off delivering a lecture in New York City, Michael, age 13, finds "Pleasuring" high up on a bookshelf. He reads it. And then he shares it with his siblings. All of them—even the 6-year-old. None of them is ever the same again. Each of them deals with the shock and embarrassment in different ways—from self-destructive to just plain sad. The children's lives are further complicated when Roz does something truly scandalous that has dire consequences for the family.
What makes this book so interesting is the fact that it primarily focuses on the four children and the effect their parents' bizarre and unusual actions have on them over the next 30 years. While parts of the novel are truly gripping, other parts are kind of boring. Why is it boring? The characters.
My No. 1 complaint—and the only reason I didn't give the book five stars—is that this is a character-driven novel, but in some cases, the characters aren't that well defined and become more like a charcoal caricature instead of a colorful, vividly drawn portrait. Because of this it doesn't quite succeed, even with the incredibly creative plot premise.
Just know this before you start reading: Because of the plot, this book it is more sexually explicit than many literary novels. If you're offended by this kind of thing, this isn't the book for you.
January 6, 2016
This book drew me in with promises of humor and a trajectory of family growth and development in the age of the sexual revolution. What I got in turn was a weak, depressing, unfulfilled snooze-fest of festering self-loathing and self-pity among the members of this sad, pathetic excuse for a family. The idea of "loving" parents couldn't have been more antithetical in this book. These parents loved no-one but themselves. And it wasn't because of their love of sexual exploration. It was that they didn't include their children in the developing life they were trying to lead.
Guidance was absent, and the love affairs in the book were nothing short of desperation and pathos. The only two characters from the entire book I was actually rooting for were the younger pair of siblings, though neither had much to recommend them as human beings other than shy, self-loathing and political rebellion and alternative sexual preferences. I felt only sympathy for them. The drain of reading this novel was almost enough to give me sexual dysfunction and the need for antidepressants.
Normally, I read rather quickly, I devour books like some people eat M&M's, however it took me almost a week to get through this book. The real disappointment was that I had looked forward to reading it with eager anticipation. What a disappointment to see the droning vocabulary and the sleepy progression of the book. I found myself skipping over large segments of text in a skimming fashion, hopeful that the next paragraph, chapter or character introduction would bring something substantial to the story. But the methodical presentation of all these unconnected and mournful characters did nothing to add to the enjoyment of a wasted effort. The only thing that I looked forward to was the end of the novel- not because of a resolution I craved or at that point even felt hopeful of having, but rather so that I could say I had finished it and never have to open it and feel the cold, choking dread of continuing another word of this book. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless you prefer books that will make you feel awful and add no enjoyment to the hours of your day.
Guidance was absent, and the love affairs in the book were nothing short of desperation and pathos. The only two characters from the entire book I was actually rooting for were the younger pair of siblings, though neither had much to recommend them as human beings other than shy, self-loathing and political rebellion and alternative sexual preferences. I felt only sympathy for them. The drain of reading this novel was almost enough to give me sexual dysfunction and the need for antidepressants.
Normally, I read rather quickly, I devour books like some people eat M&M's, however it took me almost a week to get through this book. The real disappointment was that I had looked forward to reading it with eager anticipation. What a disappointment to see the droning vocabulary and the sleepy progression of the book. I found myself skipping over large segments of text in a skimming fashion, hopeful that the next paragraph, chapter or character introduction would bring something substantial to the story. But the methodical presentation of all these unconnected and mournful characters did nothing to add to the enjoyment of a wasted effort. The only thing that I looked forward to was the end of the novel- not because of a resolution I craved or at that point even felt hopeful of having, but rather so that I could say I had finished it and never have to open it and feel the cold, choking dread of continuing another word of this book. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless you prefer books that will make you feel awful and add no enjoyment to the hours of your day.
January 25, 2008
I love character-driven fiction, but this is pretty character-heavy/plot-lite even for me.
The story here is great, but the set-up is tough: picking up 30 years after a particular event -- four children discovering that their parents had written, posed for, and would become famous for a sex guide -- makes it difficult to really go into much depth.
Each of the main characters, particularly the children, are supremely messed up, but Wolitzer is kind of asking her reader to do her a favor and just go along with the idea that it's because of the parents' book. The story is also told from a rotation of about 6 points of view, with each chapter serving as, more of less, a summary of what has happened to each character over the previous 30 years. I started getting the feeling that the book came about by stringing together a series of really well-written character sketches.
BUT, I would say it's worth reading! There are a couple of storylines exposed in the final chapters and I always like to be surprised. Plus, I was left with both warm and fuzzy feelings and wicked sadness, and that seems pretty hard to bring about, so cheers to that.
The story here is great, but the set-up is tough: picking up 30 years after a particular event -- four children discovering that their parents had written, posed for, and would become famous for a sex guide -- makes it difficult to really go into much depth.
Each of the main characters, particularly the children, are supremely messed up, but Wolitzer is kind of asking her reader to do her a favor and just go along with the idea that it's because of the parents' book. The story is also told from a rotation of about 6 points of view, with each chapter serving as, more of less, a summary of what has happened to each character over the previous 30 years. I started getting the feeling that the book came about by stringing together a series of really well-written character sketches.
BUT, I would say it's worth reading! There are a couple of storylines exposed in the final chapters and I always like to be surprised. Plus, I was left with both warm and fuzzy feelings and wicked sadness, and that seems pretty hard to bring about, so cheers to that.
February 3, 2013
The premise of this book stretchs your credulity -- how would it feel to be the children of a couple that produced a famous sex manual, replete with life-like drawings of your parents coupling in various positions? Meg Wolitzer pulls this off with panache. She develops a wide cast of characters that react to the situation in different, but understandable ways. The writing is clear, and sometimes gorgeous. I will look for more of her work.
October 31, 2013
I loved everything about this book. Funny, smart, revealing, thought-provoking. It's one of those rare books you wish you could forget, so you could read it again for the first time!
May 21, 2018
I like the author, so I was optimistic and intrigued when reaching for this book.
Initially, it got me interested, then it got a bit boring, over-stretched, overly focused on sex, depression, antidepressants, psychology... Very East Coast, very New Yorkish, tedious, I thought.
Fortunately halfway through it got interesting again.
The book tells the story of a bit dysfunctional, a bit weird family. The parents wrote a wildly successful book with sex advice, a modern-day American Kamasutra ;) And the children read this book way to soon in their lives, realizing their parents DO have sex ;) Most of the book focuses on the children, on how their handle their lives, succeed and fail. There is the suggestion that the book influenced their fate, and it's probably right.
There's a lot of clever and witty observations on marriage, family life, sex. And it's worth reading. So if you get stuck at 30% at some point, as I did, maybe just set down your ereader for a day or two, and try coming back to the book.
Initially, it got me interested, then it got a bit boring, over-stretched, overly focused on sex, depression, antidepressants, psychology... Very East Coast, very New Yorkish, tedious, I thought.
Fortunately halfway through it got interesting again.
The book tells the story of a bit dysfunctional, a bit weird family. The parents wrote a wildly successful book with sex advice, a modern-day American Kamasutra ;) And the children read this book way to soon in their lives, realizing their parents DO have sex ;) Most of the book focuses on the children, on how their handle their lives, succeed and fail. There is the suggestion that the book influenced their fate, and it's probably right.
There's a lot of clever and witty observations on marriage, family life, sex. And it's worth reading. So if you get stuck at 30% at some point, as I did, maybe just set down your ereader for a day or two, and try coming back to the book.
December 22, 2024
The Position is a story of suburban parents in the height of the sexual revolution in the 1970s who decide to make a book called Pleasuring. It's basically a Joy of Sex book with drawn renderings of them making love. They have 4 children who are mortified as the book becomes a runaway bestseller. Cue 30 years later and the telling of what has happened to the family. My general thought was "meh". I enjoyed the characters, but I thought they needed more fleshing out - pun intended :)
November 14, 2020
Typical of Meg Wolitzer, this book follows several people through many years of their lives. However, I didn’t love it as much as I enjoyed her other books. It felt a little laborious and overly focused on sex. (Makes sense for the context of the plot, but it just seemed heavy-handed.) Still interesting and well-written, but not my favorite of hers.
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