What do you think?
Rate this book
You're Leaving When?: Adventures in Downward Mobility
From the New York Times bestselling author of I See You Made an Effort comes a timely and hilarious chronicle of downward mobility, financial and emotional.
With signature "sharp wit" (NPR), Annabelle Gurwitch gives irreverent and empathetic voice to a generation hurtling into their next chapter with no safety net and proves that our no-frills new normal doesn't mean a deficit of humor.
In these essays, Gurwitch embraces homesharing, welcoming a housing-insecure young couple and a bunny rabbit into her home. The mother of a college student in recovery who sheds the gender binary, she relearns to parent, one pronoun at a time. She wades into the dating pool in a Miss Havisham-inspired line of lingerie and flunks the magic of tidying up.
You're Leaving When? is for anybody who thought they had a semblance of security but wound up with a fragile economy and a blankie. Gurwitch offers stories of resilience, adaptability, low-rent redemption, and the kindness of strangers. Even in a muted Zoom.
With signature "sharp wit" (NPR), Annabelle Gurwitch gives irreverent and empathetic voice to a generation hurtling into their next chapter with no safety net and proves that our no-frills new normal doesn't mean a deficit of humor.
In these essays, Gurwitch embraces homesharing, welcoming a housing-insecure young couple and a bunny rabbit into her home. The mother of a college student in recovery who sheds the gender binary, she relearns to parent, one pronoun at a time. She wades into the dating pool in a Miss Havisham-inspired line of lingerie and flunks the magic of tidying up.
You're Leaving When? is for anybody who thought they had a semblance of security but wound up with a fragile economy and a blankie. Gurwitch offers stories of resilience, adaptability, low-rent redemption, and the kindness of strangers. Even in a muted Zoom.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published March 2, 2021
278 people are currently reading
3,398 people want to read
About the author
Annabelle Gurwitch
14Ìýbooks199ÌýfollowersANNABELLE GURWITCH grew up hoping that she was the long lost daughter of Joni Mitchell or the reincarnation of an Egyptian princess. Neither of those things turned out to be true. She is the author of The New York Times bestseller and Thurber Prize Finalist for Humor Writing 2015, I See You Made an Effort; You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up (co-written with husband Jeff Kahn); and Fired! which was also a Showtime Comedy Special.
Annabelle was the original co-host of Dinner & a Movie for 6 seasons on TBS and host of Planet Green's WA$TED. Other acting credits include Seinfeld, Dexter, Boston Legal. Her essays and satire have appeared in The New York Times, The New Yorker, Los Angeles Times, Marie Claire, The Nation, Men's Health, Glamour, Salon.com. She was a regular commentator on NPR for numerous years and regularly performs at arts venues across the country. She is empty nesting in Los Angeles. Annabelle is a Jewish mother, a reluctant atheist, and an avid environmentalist.
Annabelle was the original co-host of Dinner & a Movie for 6 seasons on TBS and host of Planet Green's WA$TED. Other acting credits include Seinfeld, Dexter, Boston Legal. Her essays and satire have appeared in The New York Times, The New Yorker, Los Angeles Times, Marie Claire, The Nation, Men's Health, Glamour, Salon.com. She was a regular commentator on NPR for numerous years and regularly performs at arts venues across the country. She is empty nesting in Los Angeles. Annabelle is a Jewish mother, a reluctant atheist, and an avid environmentalist.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 141 reviews
October 10, 2021
"There are times in our lives when the story we tell ourselves about who we are no longer matches up to the story we are actually living. At fifty-five, I wasn't sure who I was anymore." -- page 95
Possibly best appreciated if you have read her two previous amusing memoir-ish essay collections I See You Made an Effort (2014) and Wherever You Go, There They Are (2017), Ms. Gurwitch's newest - entitled You're Leaving When? - is more of the same, but I don't mean to make that sound like an acerbic insult. I very much enjoy the way she can continually establish a mellow rapport with her stories in such a humor-laced, self-deprecating conversational style that it gently hooks a reader and takes them along for the quirky ride. This latest volume has a very topical bent to it - the COVID-19 pandemic, homelessness, and preferred pronouns are some of the issues discussed - which dovetails with her latest life experiences such as dating after divorce, solo home ownership, the deaths of her elderly parents, and her college-age son's substance abuse. Columnist / author Dave Barry is quoted on the dust-jacket that "[She] is so funny that, even when bad things happen, she writes about them in a brilliantly entertaining way." I think he is correct - she could opt to be underststandably bitter or even morose about some of her situations, but instead she openly shares them so we can snicker with her.
Possibly best appreciated if you have read her two previous amusing memoir-ish essay collections I See You Made an Effort (2014) and Wherever You Go, There They Are (2017), Ms. Gurwitch's newest - entitled You're Leaving When? - is more of the same, but I don't mean to make that sound like an acerbic insult. I very much enjoy the way she can continually establish a mellow rapport with her stories in such a humor-laced, self-deprecating conversational style that it gently hooks a reader and takes them along for the quirky ride. This latest volume has a very topical bent to it - the COVID-19 pandemic, homelessness, and preferred pronouns are some of the issues discussed - which dovetails with her latest life experiences such as dating after divorce, solo home ownership, the deaths of her elderly parents, and her college-age son's substance abuse. Columnist / author Dave Barry is quoted on the dust-jacket that "[She] is so funny that, even when bad things happen, she writes about them in a brilliantly entertaining way." I think he is correct - she could opt to be underststandably bitter or even morose about some of her situations, but instead she openly shares them so we can snicker with her.
Read
February 23, 2021Hilarious and poignant essays about the challenges of mid-life.
March 9, 2021
This is a book of essays that embrace the idea of home-sharing. It was fantastic, and I loved the author's writing style. Humor seems to be an excellent lens in how we can look at life. Sometimes, there's nothing that can change your mood faster than finding humor in the terrible things. It's how we can laugh at life. Home-sharing is something many people have been doing, especially through the pandemic. Monetizing your home to underwrite a mortgage seems to be a feasible option.
There is a scene where the author takes in a Frenchman as a boarder for extra money. Everything smells like duck lard and bacon. She could've written it as a woe is me" scenario. Instead, she wrote it in such a fun and visual way. There are a couple of chapters that are more "big-think" chapters like the one on retail therapy and how we think it will make everything better.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
There is a scene where the author takes in a Frenchman as a boarder for extra money. Everything smells like duck lard and bacon. She could've written it as a woe is me" scenario. Instead, she wrote it in such a fun and visual way. There are a couple of chapters that are more "big-think" chapters like the one on retail therapy and how we think it will make everything better.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
February 17, 2021
ThisÌýis by far the funniest book that I have read since the pandemic began. IÌýadmit to being intrigued by the title of Gurwitch's memoir. ÌýIt reminded me of my favorite Edward Gorey rhyme from "The Doubtful Guest": Ìý"It came seventeen years ago, and to this day, it has shown no intention of going away. " However, I was even more intrigued by the subtitle "Adventures in Downward Mobility." IÌýam drawn to accounts of womenÌýfalling through the holes of our slender social safety nets (see "Maid" and "Nomadland") and still getting up. But even more if they can laugh about it.ÌýÌýGurwitch is the Ìýfriend that I wish I'd had to share my own humiliating times with, from parenthood to Ìýmiddle-age, when I thought that they were mine alone. As soon as I finished it, I went right out and got her earlier book, "You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up." ÌýI am a fan for life.Ìý
May 1, 2021
Hey, I'm all for books that are windows and not mirrors. But the glass of this window was, for me, so opaque it might as well have been a closed door. I'd be hard-pressed to name anything I've read that I personally related to less. Which would have been fine, I guess, if the view had been interesting—in my case, it wasn't. And not to contribute to our strident 21st Century screeching about privilege, because, dear God, please make it stop, but it's impossible, while reading this book, especially with its subtitle, to not be acutely cognizant of the fact that some of us, when we begin our descent, have much farther to fall.
June 21, 2021
When I started reading You’re Leaving When? I think maybe I was a little burned out on reading after reading over 150 books since the pandemic hit and for that reason I read it slow. I asked myself do I identify with anything in this book and my
Answer was no. I put it down for a few months and started back up and low and behold I now recognized a lot. As a fifty something retiree and single living alone I began to see the humor in her midlife circumstances. I loved the chapter -They got the alias that we’ve been living under. I’ll never look at some of these movies the same , her commentaries were insightful and down right hilarious to me. I would recommend this book to any middle aged person because you’ll be able to identify with most of it. Also it’s very humorous for any adult and will make you laugh out loud or at least smile. Don’t give up on it if it starts slow because Annebelle Gurwitch is a talented humor writer and maybe all that’s just me anyways.
Answer was no. I put it down for a few months and started back up and low and behold I now recognized a lot. As a fifty something retiree and single living alone I began to see the humor in her midlife circumstances. I loved the chapter -They got the alias that we’ve been living under. I’ll never look at some of these movies the same , her commentaries were insightful and down right hilarious to me. I would recommend this book to any middle aged person because you’ll be able to identify with most of it. Also it’s very humorous for any adult and will make you laugh out loud or at least smile. Don’t give up on it if it starts slow because Annebelle Gurwitch is a talented humor writer and maybe all that’s just me anyways.
November 1, 2020
You're Leaving When: Adventures in Downward Mobility by Annabelle Gurwitch is an entertaining book. It is a look at a life with all of its disappointments, surprises, funny times and sad times. Gurwitch shares details about her divorce, post divorce dating, being the parent of a nonbinary boomerang child and renting out part of her house to a pot smoking young man from France, among other things. I found myself laughing out loud at some parts but then at others was a little sad at the author's financial and emotional "downward mobility". The author addresses some tough contemporary problems but she does it by sort of poking fun at how she herself has handled these same problems. More than anything, this is a story of resilience and the ability to keep moving forward regardless of what life throws at you. I highly recommend this book and thank NetGalley, the author and the publisher for providing me with a digital copy of this book prior to publication in exchange for my honest review.
July 5, 2021
I've read a few of Ms Gurwitch's books and several of the essays have stayed with me for years. In one, she chronicles the humbling experience of growing old and out of favor in Hollywood. Waiting in line in a cattle call for extras can be quite humbling after being a hot, young property in the city of dreams.
Her writing about all the surgeries and pain of having a newborn child with multiple birth defects was truly touching and humbling.
But this book as a whole is uneven. Some are very funny and incisive, like her reviews of movies of middle aged women finding love and sex on island vacations. Others are a awkward as she tries to justify calling her son they.
I glanced at my reviews of her other books showed I had the same mixed feelings. But I still read her for the unique perspective. It's a good insight into what happens when the sitcom money dries up, kids move out, and husband moves on.
Her writing about all the surgeries and pain of having a newborn child with multiple birth defects was truly touching and humbling.
But this book as a whole is uneven. Some are very funny and incisive, like her reviews of movies of middle aged women finding love and sex on island vacations. Others are a awkward as she tries to justify calling her son they.
I glanced at my reviews of her other books showed I had the same mixed feelings. But I still read her for the unique perspective. It's a good insight into what happens when the sitcom money dries up, kids move out, and husband moves on.
May 17, 2021
You're Leaving When?: Adventures in Downward Mobility is a cute read for when you're looking for something easy. Author Annabelle Gurwitch makes light about serious issues: divorce, financial precarity, her child's transition. Not all the jokes land—can they, considering how depressing some of this is?—but I rooted for her throughout.
March 15, 2021
It's great to read a book that is funny and self-inspecting without being snooty or biting in its attempt at getting a laugh. Too often, memoirs that are meant to be funny and relatable leave "middle America" out in the cold while the authors bemoans the rising price of top-notch vodka, for example. There was none of that here. Gurwitch was able to laugh at herself while exploring common-enough problems and issues. I don't have to be divorced or have a child in college (although I DO have a child in college!) to appreciate her take on these issues.
June 21, 2021
Excellent post-pandemic humor. I learned about mukbanging!
Read
January 21, 2021I am pretty sure I am the target audience for this book. I am about the same age as Gurwitch, have a son that graduated college in 2020, just as her child did, live in Los Angeles and am experiencing many of the same thoughts and struggles as she does. I even spent an entire week trying to figure out how to fit a boarder into my 1,000 sq. ft. house just to help pay the mortgage.
I laughed out loud more than once while reading; as much from a feeling of recognition as a result of her genuinely funny writing.
Thanks to Counterpoint Press for providing me with an advanced reading copy via NetGalley.
I laughed out loud more than once while reading; as much from a feeling of recognition as a result of her genuinely funny writing.
Thanks to Counterpoint Press for providing me with an advanced reading copy via NetGalley.
December 21, 2020
The title and the cover photo caught my attention immediately but what kept it is the honesty and humor within the pages of Gurwitch's book about reinventing---or re-establishing---yourself in midlife when you never anticipated doing so. She details real life solutions in a humorous manner, described risks she took as she made her way through her 'new normal', whatever that is, and along the way, makes you feel comfortable in your own skin. She really does make the poor decisions, silly mistakes, goofy risks and all the good stuff we do feel just right.
May 5, 2021
Some of the short stories are hilarious...others, I had to breeze through or skip through they were so boring. Not sure what the point was really...
January 11, 2022
Funny. Vulnerable. Worth the read.
April 25, 2021
Clever book. Series of stories really. But all ties together. Very insightful of the times we live in now. So many things examined. Homelessness. The working poor. What a woman over 50 faces especially if financially insecure which who isn’t these days? Such serious topics but the book has so much humor and heart. Will look into her other books for sure. Read this in two days. Actually felt good to know I wasn’t alone in some of the things I have been fretting about lately. Highly entertaining and topical.
April 14, 2021
It’s All True
Gurwitch pens a frank and funny appraisal of life as a middle-aged woman navigating the punishing waves of economic insecurity, parenting, and living up to the expectations of Los Angeles and the entertainment industry. If I hadn’t lived a parallel life, I’d think she was writing fiction.
Gurwitch pens a frank and funny appraisal of life as a middle-aged woman navigating the punishing waves of economic insecurity, parenting, and living up to the expectations of Los Angeles and the entertainment industry. If I hadn’t lived a parallel life, I’d think she was writing fiction.
Read
October 5, 2021I hadn't read this author before and somehow got a very incorrect impression about what this book was about. I thought it was going to be something like Nomadland. It's not! I'm definitely not (yet?) the target audience for this book.
March 11, 2021
An absolute joy! So relatable and fun. I can’t wait to share with my book club.
March 26, 2021
Loved this book! Gurwitch is so funny and so kind-hearted.
April 25, 2024
Unfortunately, not everyone needs to write a memoir
March 18, 2021
Well written essay type memoir. I am surprised to see that most reviewers found it hilarious. I found it more sad than hilarious.
March 24, 2021
Hilariously funny for the middle aged women.
March 24, 2021
The writing is intelligent, funny, moving and genuine. I recommend this book. I have read all of Annabelle's books. :)
May 23, 2021
Such a breezy fun read w/ sharp nuggets of insight and wit - and oh yeah, she's talking about significant personal hardship & a path that mirrors so many others right now in society.
March 16, 2021
Laugh out loud funny. Annabelle Gurwich is so observant and very relevant. I could totally relate to this book.
March 13, 2021
I always love Annabelle
This book gets five stars from me because I love Annabelle's writing, her humor and her honesty, and I'm always interested in the stories she tells about her life.
This book gets five stars from me because I love Annabelle's writing, her humor and her honesty, and I'm always interested in the stories she tells about her life.
April 4, 2021
It was a good read.
June 23, 2021
I love essayists and their jumble of personal stories. It is especially relevant when the subject is a woman of a certain age and extremely relatable.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 141 reviews
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get help and learn more about the design.