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162 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 3, 2021
“I wanted to fucking take everything, and I did not share. Even the women who were only mine for a night knew the ropes, knew the hand of another man could never touch them until I was done with them and moving on to the next.�(@8%)
The only thing “special� about h was that she was the forbidden as his BFF's daughter & he'd fantasize about her for about 1 year since she was 18yo. Instead of him taking what he wanted right away. But being possessive with his very-casual lovers was his usual everyday fare.
H raped h & was not some kind of sexy “consensual non-consent� (CNC) or dubious consent (dubcon) sex: �
“â€Uncle Landon, stop it,â€� she begged. “I didn’t sign a contract. I didn’t agree to this! â€� she shrieked as I laid her back on the bed. Staring up at me, the tremble in her body did nothing to convince me. She was upset. Terrified that I’d caught her in such a precarious position.
Afraid I would tell her father. But I couldn’t. Not now that I’d implicated myself. Not now that I had her petite body pinned beneath me, squirming against my cock.�(@19%)
It was straight-up rape from h's verbal “noâ€s & repeated “stopâ€�/â€it hurtsâ€�/“I didn't sign a contractâ€� for the pretend-rape with H BEFORE his 1st rape-penetration & during his continued rape when she kept telling him it wasn't her he had a dubcon/CNC assignation with that night. He continued raping her because he wanted to, despite her pleas for him to stop. Even afterwards, she kept telling him that she was NOT a willing participant:...
“He was still inside of me. My father’s best friend had taken my virginity. He’d stolen it from me when I hadn’t wanted to give it. I wanted it back.� (22%)
â€â€œYou’re sick. This is wrong , Uncle Landon,â€� I said, grabbing his hand and trying to pry it off my bare skin. “You touched me. You kept touching me after you knew I had no part in your twisted little game with some random woman. You can’t claim a misunderstanding when you didn’t stop.â€�(@23%)
It was clear that, despite her orgasms, she didn't change her view of their sex as rape. She even immediately threatened to go to the cops to report his rape of her. However, H viewed her getting pleasure out of the rape as her consent. That it wasn't that bad of a rape. He had no compassion/empathy for the pain she went through with him. It was all about him—his fantasies, his pleasure, his wants.
He was dismissive about his raping her:
““I fucked up. I explained it, and I meant it when I told you I regretted the circumstances and that it hurt you. But I will not tolerate blatant disrespect either, Everlee,� he said, startling a gasp from my mouth.
After all that he’d done, all that he’d ruined, he had the fucking audacity to act like my anger wasn’t warranted? Like I didn’t have every right to hate him for the rest of my life?� (@30%)
With an attitude of a typical repeat-rapist who basically says “we'll, it's too late since I've already done it so we're just going to keep having sex� & “I knew you've wanted me & I want you too�. And this H covers it up with his Daddy/Little-Girl & possessive claiming “mine� talk. To make it sound not like rape or forced sex. He also tended to roughly smex her for giving him the “wrong “answer�(21%), when she'd protest or disagree with him about their new relationship:
““Don’t walk away from me,� he warned.
“Stop being such an asshole. I’ve made it clear that I don’t want anything to do with this,� I said, gesturing between us.
“If you don’t mind your fucking mouth, I swear to God I will take you upstairs and choke you with my cock until you’re too sore to speak.� (@32%)
Threatening rape again because she said disagrees with him. Where's the romance in that? Where's his remorse? Where's his love for her? Taking her to a fancy restaurant & spending money on her plus some orgasms is his way of compensating for her discomfort.
It's not romantic at all for h to feel betrayed that her long-time crush with H would end up raping her: �
“The side he showed now that things had shifted wasn’t a side that I wanted to know. I wanted to erase the last twenty-four hours and go back to when I pined away for a man I would never have, and he still existed as a perfect specimen in my head. Not the monster who had thrown me in a trunk, pinned me down, and fucked me while I cried.� (@30%)
Her POV clarified that her teen fantasies of H were just fantasies. And the sex she's had with him (even with orgasms) was a violation. A betrayal. Despite her attraction to him since a teen/pre-teen, she viewed him as like a father/caretaker in her life since she was a baby since her father raised her as single dad due to mom's disinterest in raising a child. He kept raping her after he devirginized her & bulldozing his way into her life. Telling her who she can't talk to, what to do, etc. Controlling her life now that she's had sex with him. He essentially started grooming her to accept that she had no choice but to be involved sexually/etc with him now since he demanded it. Basically, his de-virginizing her through rape was the end of her freedom from him.
H was a creepy man who only had casual sex with multiple women he liked to practice his kink (he liked women screaming for him during sex). He was mysogynistic, seeing women as either sweet & innocent (so therefore treated kindly & respectfully) or as whores who he can use & abuse without reserve:
“It was agony, watching in those moments as the image I’d painted in my head of the innocent virgin came crashing down. Seeing her for who she was, another woman determined to fuck her way through Boston. She was just like the rest, and there was nothing wrong with that. It just wasn’t what I wanted to believe of the girl that I’d denied being half in love with for at least a year...I’d wanted—no, needed—her to be better than me to justify why I couldn’t have her.� (@13% when he thought she was the woman he had a sex-contract with)
“I’d been so blinded by my need for her that I’d seen what I wanted to see, a woman who wanted me enough to risk everything for it and play along with my own deviant desires. The woman I’d wanted more than anything. I moved, brushing the hair back from her face and staring down at her as her teary stare met mine. “I thought you were someone else. Someone who agreed to all of this,� I explained.
“I told you I wasn’t a part of whatever this was,� she said, her voice catching on a sob. “Why didn’t you believe me?�
“It doesn’t matter now,� I said, sighing as I tucked her into my chest. She flinched away, the fear in her body grating against me.� (@21%)
So, once H views a woman as sexually experienced or non-monogamous, he can treat them with cruelty & disrespect. He was a sociopath who acted nice & caring to others but underneath lay his plotting to assuage his selfish wants without inner genuine remorse & rationalized his hurtful behaviors by blaming others like telling h that he knew she wanted him to excuse the gravity of his raping her. f there was any OTT about H, it's that he's OTT delusional. For him to think that what he had with h was love or romance. Or that she was ok with his raping her a few times.
This book lacked any emotional or romantic feel. The writing was descriptive but lacked emotional pull. Even the descriptive sex scenes were cringey due to h's POV of her physical pain from H's thrusts & her feelings of betrayal of his violation of her. Overall writing was unclear, even from the 1st page. As if talking in circles & not straight to the point. The words didn't evoke romance or sweetness or angst. Just disgust & creepiness, especially the sex scenes. Even when h orgasmed it felt like it was forced on her by creepy-grooming H. I did like how it was repeatedly clarified from h's POV & words to H that what happened between them was rape & was not romantic to h. But in H's delusional eyes was a different matter. If it was only the 1st sex scene, I would've been able to excuse it. But the next 3 sex scenes were still forced on her. Yes, she orgasmed but her POV showed that she wasn't consenting to him. But he forced her again & again. That's rape & there was no romance there. There's no going back from that.
I like dubious consent books but I have to be convinced that there's deep love & romance from both main characters for each other. This author/book failed to do that her. Before, during, and after about 4 of their sex scenes. This H is not my kind of redeemable anti-Hero.
So, DNF. At least it answered my questions (from other GR reviews) about this book.