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This Isn't Going to End Well: The True Story of a Man I Thought I Knew - Library Edition
If we're lucky, we all encounter at least one person whose life elevates and inspires our own. For acclaimed novelist Daniel Wallace, he had one hero and inspiration for so much of what followed: his longtime friend and brother-in-law William Nealy. Seemingly perfect, impossibly cool, William was James Dean, Clint Eastwood, and MacGyver all rolled into one, an acclaimed outdoorsman, a famous cartoonist, an accomplished author, a master of all he undertook, William was the ideal that Daniel sought to emulate. But when William took his own life at age 48, Daniel was left first grieving, and then furious with the man who broke his and his sister's hearts. That anger led him to commit a grievous act of his own, a betrayal that took him down a dark path into the tortured recesses of William's past. Eventually, a new picture of William emerged, of a man with too many secrets and too much shame to bear. This Isn't Going to End Well is Daniel Wallace's first foray into nonfiction. Part love story, part true crime, part a desperate search for the self and how little we really can know another, This Isn't Going to End Well tells an intimate and moving story of what happens when we realize our heroes are human.
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First published April 11, 2023
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About the author
Daniel Wallace
83books437followersDaniel Wallace is author of five novels, including Big Fish (1998), Ray in Reverse (2000), The Watermelon King (2003), Mr. Sebastian and the Negro Magician (2007), and most recently The Kings and Queens of Roam (2013).
He has written one book for children, Elynora, and in 2008 it was published in Italy, with illustrations by Daniela Tordi. O Great Rosenfeld!, the only book both written and illustrated by the author, has been released in France and Korea and is forthcoming in Italy, but there are not, at this writing, any plans for an American edition.
His work has been published in over two dozen languages, and his stories, novels and non-fiction essays are taught in high schools and colleges throughout this country. His illustrations have appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Italian Vanity Fair, and many other magazines and books, including Pep Talks, Warnings, and Screeds: Indispensible Wisdom and Cautionary Advice for Writers, by George Singleton, and Adventures in Pen Land: One Writer's Journey from Inklings to Ink, by Marianne Gingher. Big Fish was made into a motion picture of the same name by Tim Burton in 2003, a film in which the author plays the part of a professor at Auburn University.
He is in fact the J. Ross MacDonald Distinguished Professor of English, and director of the Creative Writing Program, at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, his alma mater (Class of '08). He lives with his wife, Laura Kellison Wallace, in Chapel Hill. More information about him, his writing, and his illustrations can be found at and .
He has written one book for children, Elynora, and in 2008 it was published in Italy, with illustrations by Daniela Tordi. O Great Rosenfeld!, the only book both written and illustrated by the author, has been released in France and Korea and is forthcoming in Italy, but there are not, at this writing, any plans for an American edition.
His work has been published in over two dozen languages, and his stories, novels and non-fiction essays are taught in high schools and colleges throughout this country. His illustrations have appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Italian Vanity Fair, and many other magazines and books, including Pep Talks, Warnings, and Screeds: Indispensible Wisdom and Cautionary Advice for Writers, by George Singleton, and Adventures in Pen Land: One Writer's Journey from Inklings to Ink, by Marianne Gingher. Big Fish was made into a motion picture of the same name by Tim Burton in 2003, a film in which the author plays the part of a professor at Auburn University.
He is in fact the J. Ross MacDonald Distinguished Professor of English, and director of the Creative Writing Program, at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, his alma mater (Class of '08). He lives with his wife, Laura Kellison Wallace, in Chapel Hill. More information about him, his writing, and his illustrations can be found at and .
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October 28, 2023
This Isn’t Going to End Well: The True Story of a Man I Thought I Knew � Daniel Wallace - (2023) -
In this deeply profound family memoir, the author explores the exciting life and tragic suicide death of his late brother-in-law William Nealy (1953-2001). Nealy-- a college graduate, was a true career humanitarian that rescued people and saved lives, and was the sole caregiver of his disabled wife, Holly. He was an iconic accomplished author- publisher, artist, cartoonist, of a dozen books, he designed and built his own exclusive home near Hillsborough, N.C. He seemed to thrive on the edgy daring recklessness of adrenaline in extreme sports. As a detective, and man of few words, he was investigating the drug related murder of a close friend before he died. Without question, William Nealy was a gifted, intelligent, and brilliant man, but his dynamic brilliance had a flip side.
David Wallace is a distinguished professor of English at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. In the 1970’s, the two men met as teens in Birmingham, AL. Wallace practically worshiped Nealy, a very cool free-spirit who had dropped out of high school and dated his sister. The men would always remain close and connected. Wallace was completely devastated after Nealy died� and wondered how he could voluntarily leave his vulnerable medically fragile sister. Wallace traced Nealy’s life from his own recollections over several decades, and used his writings, art, and dozens of personal journals to understand the man he thought he knew. In addition, this outstanding book probes several aspects and stages of grief and healing. Some of Nealy’s appealing art and drawings were included. ** With thanks to Algonquin Books via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.
In this deeply profound family memoir, the author explores the exciting life and tragic suicide death of his late brother-in-law William Nealy (1953-2001). Nealy-- a college graduate, was a true career humanitarian that rescued people and saved lives, and was the sole caregiver of his disabled wife, Holly. He was an iconic accomplished author- publisher, artist, cartoonist, of a dozen books, he designed and built his own exclusive home near Hillsborough, N.C. He seemed to thrive on the edgy daring recklessness of adrenaline in extreme sports. As a detective, and man of few words, he was investigating the drug related murder of a close friend before he died. Without question, William Nealy was a gifted, intelligent, and brilliant man, but his dynamic brilliance had a flip side.
David Wallace is a distinguished professor of English at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. In the 1970’s, the two men met as teens in Birmingham, AL. Wallace practically worshiped Nealy, a very cool free-spirit who had dropped out of high school and dated his sister. The men would always remain close and connected. Wallace was completely devastated after Nealy died� and wondered how he could voluntarily leave his vulnerable medically fragile sister. Wallace traced Nealy’s life from his own recollections over several decades, and used his writings, art, and dozens of personal journals to understand the man he thought he knew. In addition, this outstanding book probes several aspects and stages of grief and healing. Some of Nealy’s appealing art and drawings were included. ** With thanks to Algonquin Books via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.
September 1, 2023
is a poignant biography of William Nealy, the brother-in-law of author Daniel Wallace. Wallace has written six books and Nealy wrote 10 books, primarily how-to adventure and river map books.
Wallace met Nealy when Nealy began dating Wallace's sister, Holly. Wallace was eleven years old when he met Nealy and over the next several decades he viewed Nealy as a mentor, friend, and sherpa.
Nealy committed suicide at age 48 and this book explores the intersection of Nealy and Wallace's lives.
I listened to this on audiobook and it is narrated superbly by Michael Crouch.
Wallace met Nealy when Nealy began dating Wallace's sister, Holly. Wallace was eleven years old when he met Nealy and over the next several decades he viewed Nealy as a mentor, friend, and sherpa.
Nealy committed suicide at age 48 and this book explores the intersection of Nealy and Wallace's lives.
I listened to this on audiobook and it is narrated superbly by Michael Crouch.
April 16, 2023
2 1/2
So often we go into a book experience with expectations. In this case, after reading that Daniel Wallace wrote the novel which was the basis for a movie I adored, "Big Fish," I presumed, rightly or wrongly, that I would equally adore his writing.
Caveat: I have not nor will I finish this book. I'm 3/4 of the way through, maybe more, but the reading for me is challenging because my opinions/experience/feelings are not changing. And, unfortunately, I'm frankly bored. Maybe there's something titillating as a reviewer suggested, but if it hasn't occurred by this point, it's moot.
While "This Isn't Going to End Well" feels like a series of essays that are all supposed to be about Wallace's brother-in-law, William Nealy, they are as much about Wallace, his obsession with Nealy, and some seemingly un-self-aware observations. When an individual suggested early on that they would not participate in an interview to add to the author's advancement, I didn't see any flag but now wonder. How is it acceptable to take a deceased individual's journals and use them as a prop for the latter half of your book when you've already decided that he was unworthy because he committed suicide and left your sister in need? Perhaps there's a revelation near the end. Or perhaps not.
***Having lost someone to suicide, I do know it's painful. But I also know that many live with inner demons that urge them to take action. And sometimes those demons are not on the inside. Neither here nor there but compassion is something all humans have, or should have, inside. Suicidal people don't care how much they're going to be missed; they just want to end a pain that feels all-encompassing.***
Even before Wallace wrote of taking possession of the journals and utilizing them, the book was not relatable to me. The entire concept that a writer can only be someone who has experienced taking the life of something or performing daring deeds seems to be a frail Hemingway concept, built on machismo.
Lastly, I have to express some astonishment that a writer older than me is surprised that a man was not who he thought he was. If you dig deep enough, no one is.
Lastly two. I am surprised by how annoyed I am that the writer did not follow through with his sister's wishes on her deathbed because he became angry at his brother-in-law. His actions felt like those of a scorned lover rather than a brother-in-law who should have, at the top of his mind, his sister's last directions.
All in all, a frustrating read.
I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
So often we go into a book experience with expectations. In this case, after reading that Daniel Wallace wrote the novel which was the basis for a movie I adored, "Big Fish," I presumed, rightly or wrongly, that I would equally adore his writing.
Caveat: I have not nor will I finish this book. I'm 3/4 of the way through, maybe more, but the reading for me is challenging because my opinions/experience/feelings are not changing. And, unfortunately, I'm frankly bored. Maybe there's something titillating as a reviewer suggested, but if it hasn't occurred by this point, it's moot.
While "This Isn't Going to End Well" feels like a series of essays that are all supposed to be about Wallace's brother-in-law, William Nealy, they are as much about Wallace, his obsession with Nealy, and some seemingly un-self-aware observations. When an individual suggested early on that they would not participate in an interview to add to the author's advancement, I didn't see any flag but now wonder. How is it acceptable to take a deceased individual's journals and use them as a prop for the latter half of your book when you've already decided that he was unworthy because he committed suicide and left your sister in need? Perhaps there's a revelation near the end. Or perhaps not.
***Having lost someone to suicide, I do know it's painful. But I also know that many live with inner demons that urge them to take action. And sometimes those demons are not on the inside. Neither here nor there but compassion is something all humans have, or should have, inside. Suicidal people don't care how much they're going to be missed; they just want to end a pain that feels all-encompassing.***
Even before Wallace wrote of taking possession of the journals and utilizing them, the book was not relatable to me. The entire concept that a writer can only be someone who has experienced taking the life of something or performing daring deeds seems to be a frail Hemingway concept, built on machismo.
Lastly, I have to express some astonishment that a writer older than me is surprised that a man was not who he thought he was. If you dig deep enough, no one is.
Lastly two. I am surprised by how annoyed I am that the writer did not follow through with his sister's wishes on her deathbed because he became angry at his brother-in-law. His actions felt like those of a scorned lover rather than a brother-in-law who should have, at the top of his mind, his sister's last directions.
All in all, a frustrating read.
I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
February 15, 2023
This is a deeply moving and personal book that will not be for everyone simply because it focuses on such touchy subject matter. It's well written and delves deep. An emotional read.
January 31, 2024
As powerful and moving and important as it gets. While the book certainly has its share of heartbreak and hardship, it's a remarkable true story and a gripping read, and for me at least, I felt I was better for having taken the trip. I learned valuable lessons about empathy, the price of discovery, and the struggles so many people keep hidden and we never see. Daniel Wallace has done us all a great favor with END WELL.
December 2, 2022
Like every great piece of nonfiction, this book reads like fiction. It made me laugh and (unfortunately) cry next to a stranger on a plane. I will never forgive Daniel Wallace for that. This story is courageously honest, and its prose flies at lightning speed. Cheers to William Nealy. Cheers to Daniel Wallace.
April 12, 2023
This isn't Going to End Well: The True Story of a Man I Thought I Knew, by Daniel Wallace.
William Nealy was the older brother-in-law everyone dreamed of…the one who taught you and praised you and raised you up, while others dragged you down. Older and wiser, he was the quintessential clone of “The Fonz�, everyone’s beloved thug. He was a major character in the memory of my life, since I grew up in the approximate time in which "Happy Days" was set. Fonzie was not really a thug, but he looked and acted like one to survive. William was a real life Fonzie to Daniel. He was his hero. He gave him strength when he was weak, support when he felt abandoned. He was his teacher and his friend. Daniel wanted to be like him, but not to be him. Daniel tries to answer the question, who was Nealy really? Did anyone know? He tries to identify and honor him, to solve the puzzle that was William Nealy, and to discover why he took his own life when he had so much talent, so much success and was appreciated and thought of as a gift to so many. Why, when he seemed to have so much to live for, did he not want to live?
Holly was Daniel's sister and William's soulmate. Holly and Nealy were a pair, like a cup and a saucer. She suffered from debilitating arthritis, and he was her hero, her caregiver, her lover. Nealy saw what was troubling everyone else, but evidently no one saw what was really troubling him. Was he ultimately left to drift alone? This book honors William's memory, including his search for justice for his friend Edgar. It is written with so much warmth and honesty, that it cannot fail to touch your heart as you learn what possibly led to his untimely death. Tenderly written by a man who loved him, was influenced by him, and perhaps shaped by him, the book brings to life this fallen hero that few recognized as someone also in need. He did not reveal his own troubled, private thoughts, but instead created an external persona which was that of a brave man of many talents who could do anything he set his mind to do. His brief life had a tragic ending instead of a hero’s welcome because he lived a double life, one private and one public.
Wallace’s easy writing style is easy to read. His real feeling for Nealy is palpable. The man he emulated, on the outside was rough-hewn, but on the inside, he was angel-smooth. He was gentle, helpful, and so very compassionate, but he was also dangerous, because he was an impulsive risk-taker. He abused drugs and
alcohol. Overshadowing that was his sense of loyalty and his kindness. He sacrificed for others. He was talented and successful, and yet, he was not content. He died to soon, thinking he left no permanent mark. He may have believed he failed, but he was a heroic figure and lives on in the memory of those who knew him and in the work he left behind.
William Nealy was the older brother-in-law everyone dreamed of…the one who taught you and praised you and raised you up, while others dragged you down. Older and wiser, he was the quintessential clone of “The Fonz�, everyone’s beloved thug. He was a major character in the memory of my life, since I grew up in the approximate time in which "Happy Days" was set. Fonzie was not really a thug, but he looked and acted like one to survive. William was a real life Fonzie to Daniel. He was his hero. He gave him strength when he was weak, support when he felt abandoned. He was his teacher and his friend. Daniel wanted to be like him, but not to be him. Daniel tries to answer the question, who was Nealy really? Did anyone know? He tries to identify and honor him, to solve the puzzle that was William Nealy, and to discover why he took his own life when he had so much talent, so much success and was appreciated and thought of as a gift to so many. Why, when he seemed to have so much to live for, did he not want to live?
Holly was Daniel's sister and William's soulmate. Holly and Nealy were a pair, like a cup and a saucer. She suffered from debilitating arthritis, and he was her hero, her caregiver, her lover. Nealy saw what was troubling everyone else, but evidently no one saw what was really troubling him. Was he ultimately left to drift alone? This book honors William's memory, including his search for justice for his friend Edgar. It is written with so much warmth and honesty, that it cannot fail to touch your heart as you learn what possibly led to his untimely death. Tenderly written by a man who loved him, was influenced by him, and perhaps shaped by him, the book brings to life this fallen hero that few recognized as someone also in need. He did not reveal his own troubled, private thoughts, but instead created an external persona which was that of a brave man of many talents who could do anything he set his mind to do. His brief life had a tragic ending instead of a hero’s welcome because he lived a double life, one private and one public.
Wallace’s easy writing style is easy to read. His real feeling for Nealy is palpable. The man he emulated, on the outside was rough-hewn, but on the inside, he was angel-smooth. He was gentle, helpful, and so very compassionate, but he was also dangerous, because he was an impulsive risk-taker. He abused drugs and
alcohol. Overshadowing that was his sense of loyalty and his kindness. He sacrificed for others. He was talented and successful, and yet, he was not content. He died to soon, thinking he left no permanent mark. He may have believed he failed, but he was a heroic figure and lives on in the memory of those who knew him and in the work he left behind.
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April 5, 2023I received a copy of this book courtesy of LibraryThing Early Reviewers and the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
Daniel Wallace's first foray into nonfiction is a memoir dedicated to his brother-in-law, fellow author, and complete idol . Wallace traces their intertwined lives from their first meeting in 1971 through William's suicide in 2001, and Wallace's own reconciliation with this fact in 2019. Wallace writes about the man he admired so much, the man he modeled his own life after, who influenced so many decisions Wallace himself made in his life, not least of which was to become a novelist. And then he writes about Nealy's death and the aftermath that rippled through he own life, and the twenty years it took for him to understand what happens when heroes die and become flawed humans all over again.
Is there such a thing as a selfish memoir? Because that's the way this read to me. I struggled a lot with this, because it seemed as if Wallace couldn't decide if he was writing Nealy's story, or Holly's (Nealy's wife/Wallace's sister), or his own, so he tries to write all three, and it doesn't quite stick the landing, IMO. We watch Wallace struggle to reconcile the man he idolized with the actual human being he was. He compares himself to Max Brod, close friend and literary executor of Franz Kafka, who promised Kafka he'd destroy his works upon his death but instead published them against Kafka's wishes. Wallace doesn't publish Nealy's private journals in full here, but he does pull large chunks of them out to be examined, when it is obvious Nealy never intended for that to happen.
Wallace also draws a thru line of motifs (The Great Pretender/imposter syndrome) from his own novels to this book. Was Nealy the ultimate Great Pretender, leading a dual life? Was his friendship with Edgar Hitchcock (another man who lived on the edge of death) borne from this similarity? Were they kindred spirits because both had a death wish?
Nealy had an extraordinary life that needed no embellishment. He also struggled with a lot of demons, including the unsolved murder of his best friend, and near-constant suicidal ideation. You either understand suicidal depression or you don't, and pretty clearly Wallace doesn't. It is cringe-inducing to read his fumbling about for reasons why why Nealy lived - and died - the way he did. He spends a lot of time being angry with Nealy for leaving his sister, and refuses to fulfill said sister's wishes after she dies, and it takes nearly twenty years for him to try to right that wrong. Without any sort of belief in the spirit world or afterlife, however, this rings incredibly hollow. Wallace may have believed he came full circle, but I don't.
I have enjoyed Wallace's novels before, and find his style of writing to be compulsively readable, but I had an extremely hard time with this. I don't think he accomplished what he wanted to with this memoir, and unfortunately my opinion of him has changed for the worse rather than the better after reading this.
Daniel Wallace's first foray into nonfiction is a memoir dedicated to his brother-in-law, fellow author, and complete idol . Wallace traces their intertwined lives from their first meeting in 1971 through William's suicide in 2001, and Wallace's own reconciliation with this fact in 2019. Wallace writes about the man he admired so much, the man he modeled his own life after, who influenced so many decisions Wallace himself made in his life, not least of which was to become a novelist. And then he writes about Nealy's death and the aftermath that rippled through he own life, and the twenty years it took for him to understand what happens when heroes die and become flawed humans all over again.
Is there such a thing as a selfish memoir? Because that's the way this read to me. I struggled a lot with this, because it seemed as if Wallace couldn't decide if he was writing Nealy's story, or Holly's (Nealy's wife/Wallace's sister), or his own, so he tries to write all three, and it doesn't quite stick the landing, IMO. We watch Wallace struggle to reconcile the man he idolized with the actual human being he was. He compares himself to Max Brod, close friend and literary executor of Franz Kafka, who promised Kafka he'd destroy his works upon his death but instead published them against Kafka's wishes. Wallace doesn't publish Nealy's private journals in full here, but he does pull large chunks of them out to be examined, when it is obvious Nealy never intended for that to happen.
Wallace also draws a thru line of motifs (The Great Pretender/imposter syndrome) from his own novels to this book. Was Nealy the ultimate Great Pretender, leading a dual life? Was his friendship with Edgar Hitchcock (another man who lived on the edge of death) borne from this similarity? Were they kindred spirits because both had a death wish?
Nealy had an extraordinary life that needed no embellishment. He also struggled with a lot of demons, including the unsolved murder of his best friend, and near-constant suicidal ideation. You either understand suicidal depression or you don't, and pretty clearly Wallace doesn't. It is cringe-inducing to read his fumbling about for reasons why why Nealy lived - and died - the way he did. He spends a lot of time being angry with Nealy for leaving his sister, and refuses to fulfill said sister's wishes after she dies, and it takes nearly twenty years for him to try to right that wrong. Without any sort of belief in the spirit world or afterlife, however, this rings incredibly hollow. Wallace may have believed he came full circle, but I don't.
I have enjoyed Wallace's novels before, and find his style of writing to be compulsively readable, but I had an extremely hard time with this. I don't think he accomplished what he wanted to with this memoir, and unfortunately my opinion of him has changed for the worse rather than the better after reading this.
December 2, 2023
He was always there, all of his selves, but maybe we hadn’t tried that hard to figure him out. Maybe we’d preferred the mask. He brought talents to the tale that no one else in our family had. He built, fixed, and loved in ways we couldn’t, or didn’t want to, or did’t have to because he was there.What a lovely tribute this book is to an unknowable man - heartfelt without being schmaltzy. Wish I’d been able to meet William Nealy, but this book is really enough. No spoiler warning about what happened to Nealy: the author prefaces this book with pertinent information about the 988 suicide prevention hotline (ETA: the 988 hotline is now available here in Canada. You can also call 1-833-456-4566 if you need support for thoughts of suicide - you are not alone! ) Beautiful writing, highly recommended. 5 stars.
April 14, 2023
I wanted to like this book more than I did. I have immersed my life in male friendships, so I share what it means to look up to someone based on his adventuresome spirit. I do feel like I got to understand the author pretty well, but as for the object of his youthful and mature adoration, the character of William is frustratingly distant for me. I wanted in. I wanted to know him better. I get all the surface characteristics of Wm, and based on the journals, and what we learned in the course of the novel/memoir, I feel like I should know more than I did. It’s almost a piece of journalism, measured an objective, rather than a memoir. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s well written. I just felt cold at the end.
March 5, 2025
William Nealy was a famous cartoonist and river map maker when he killed himself at age 48 in 2001. He was the brother-in-law of author Daniel Wallace (author of Big Fish among others), who uses his writing ability to try and work out what happened, why, and his own feelings about the cool guy who was married to his disabled sister, Holland. Daniel idolized William from the time they met when Daniel was 12 and William 18. Yet, Wallace acknowledges this was a complicated relationship made more so by drug use (on both their parts), often living in different states or countries, and general family dynamics. This is an open and raw memoir written by someone who knows how to write, but as Wallace focuses on the emotion some of the needed details get left behind.
July 2, 2023
We live and die by the lights of the stories we tell about ourselves. They can both sustain us and sink us. "Daniel Wallace".
This book is about the story's we don't tell, and they are the story's that kill us.
I imagine many people have story's they don't tell anyone. Those stories are on lockdown, in solitary confinement. In the rib cage behind or near the heart. Until it's so unbearable not to tell the story, the only alternative they see in front of them is death. Even Carlos Santana once said, "No matter how much accolades, fame, talent, money, and loving family he had he still had the unrelenting pain from his childhood trauma." That sort of pain that cant be undone. It's a part of you until death.
This book is about the story's we don't tell, and they are the story's that kill us.
I imagine many people have story's they don't tell anyone. Those stories are on lockdown, in solitary confinement. In the rib cage behind or near the heart. Until it's so unbearable not to tell the story, the only alternative they see in front of them is death. Even Carlos Santana once said, "No matter how much accolades, fame, talent, money, and loving family he had he still had the unrelenting pain from his childhood trauma." That sort of pain that cant be undone. It's a part of you until death.
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March 20, 2024Non-fiction. Story about the suicide of the author's brother-in-law.
May 17, 2023
I'm a little miffed I broke my streak of all-female authors in 2023 for this. It's tough to think of this as a memoir, because Wallace only speaks of himself in relationship to William (his brother-in-law whose suicide is the impetus for this book). An it's also tough to think of this as a biography of William, because the coverage of his life is so spotty. Like, did he and Wallace's sister Holly ever get married? I thought they had, but sometimes it seemed like they hadn't. Wouldn't it have been better to make that clear, and to include a wedding scene, if there was one?
I don't know, the whole book kind of felt like Wallace saying, "Man, William was sure a character. And he sure did die by suicide. Nuts, huh??" Any time Wallace tries to psychoanalyze the dead man, it falls flat for me.
The afterword indicates that Wallace did a huge number of interviews about William's life with all kinds of folks, but they mostly didn't get quoted. It's hard to say what contributions they made, except for in the one chapter where William is convinced that this one rando murdered his friend. Then you saw a bit more input from others.
The fact that Wallace had largely drifted away from William and Holly in adulthood just made this a really strange choice of topic for a book. I hesitate to label the author either voyeuristic or exploitative, because I think ultimately he probably just wanted more people to know about William and he has the platform to be able to do it. Nevertheless, I can't really recommend this book.
I don't know, the whole book kind of felt like Wallace saying, "Man, William was sure a character. And he sure did die by suicide. Nuts, huh??" Any time Wallace tries to psychoanalyze the dead man, it falls flat for me.
The afterword indicates that Wallace did a huge number of interviews about William's life with all kinds of folks, but they mostly didn't get quoted. It's hard to say what contributions they made, except for in the one chapter where William is convinced that this one rando murdered his friend. Then you saw a bit more input from others.
The fact that Wallace had largely drifted away from William and Holly in adulthood just made this a really strange choice of topic for a book. I hesitate to label the author either voyeuristic or exploitative, because I think ultimately he probably just wanted more people to know about William and he has the platform to be able to do it. Nevertheless, I can't really recommend this book.
April 26, 2023
I requested this book from Netgalley with only the memory of Wallace's story, Big Fish, in mind, though I had seen it as a play, and hadn't yet read the book. (Do you see my TBR pile growing?) Wallace brings the sadly familiar story of a light that burns just a little too brightly before it is abruptly extinguished. I had never heard of his brother-in-law, William Nealy, but, looking at his life in hindsight, it's not hard to see how he could have captivated Wallace in his youth. For such a tragically short life, William accomplished more than many of us—his books and maps are expressions of pure joy and are still out there in the world he left behind. Wallace seems somehow beholden to Nealy's legacy, but of course his own accomplishments have already matched or outpaced his hero by now. This is a moving and compassionate story about love, family, and living on your own terms.
October 16, 2023
Reading this book made me loathe the author. Seriously, what an awful person. I can't imagine desecrating the mortal wishes and remains of multiple people and then writing about it in such a flippant manner, after airing personal details of their sex life for no constructive reason and then drawing the most inane and likely incorrect assumptions about all of their lives. And not even being aware of it. Navel-gazing trash but also likely harmful disclosures involving very real people that serve no purpose other than to satisfy the ego of the author. I found it all extremely disrespectful and cringeworthy and pointless. The subjects of this book deserved better.
August 17, 2023
Obviously, a story about suicide is going to be sad, but there is not a single easy/breezy moment in this story. The whole thing is so melancholy. It's sunny and 80 some degrees outside, but this book makes everything seem so bleak. Like the cold and dreary days of winter.
May 19, 2023
I read about this book in the April BookPage. I was intrigued by the story, and, although I was not familiar with either the author or his subject, his brother-in-law, I loved the movie Big Fish. Wallace wrote that book, so he was ahead of the game in my estimation. This is a disturbing book. Suicide is perhaps inevitably disturbing, but Wallace knows that this book is an exposure, even possibly a betrayal, of the darkness his brother-in-law William contained. Wallace also understands that this book exposes him, the author, also. Wallace never shies away from either exposure. If Wallace intended to portray William as hero and dreadfully haunted friend, he has done justice to both sides of his subject. Wallace also finds wonderful and succinct words to depict his sister, Holly, William’s lifetime companion, who suffered debilitating health problems and who never seemed to wilt underneath those ailments. It’s quite a moving book, especially in the end chapters. And though a reader might become angry and frustrated with both William and Wallace, both men are due our respect for the difficult choices they have made.
June 8, 2023
A love story that will break your heart. Wallace literally puts it all out on display for his readers, raw and vulnerable.
February 10, 2023
I received this book as a giveaway from Library Thing, thank you for the opportunity to read this author.
William Nealy is a self made man, a man’s man. He loves adventure, craves it. Self taught, he can ride the rapids on most any river. Can hunt, fish, ski and roller blade. He is also a writer and cartoonist.
Holly is the love of William’s life. She is also the authors sister. Together they treasure this man. A man they don’t fully know. A man with inner thoughts and torments that will effect them deeply. “This Isn’t Going to End Well� thoughtfully and lovingly tells his story.
William Nealy is a self made man, a man’s man. He loves adventure, craves it. Self taught, he can ride the rapids on most any river. Can hunt, fish, ski and roller blade. He is also a writer and cartoonist.
Holly is the love of William’s life. She is also the authors sister. Together they treasure this man. A man they don’t fully know. A man with inner thoughts and torments that will effect them deeply. “This Isn’t Going to End Well� thoughtfully and lovingly tells his story.
March 12, 2024
I flew through this book in a few sittings. Daniel beautifully writes of his brother in law William, a truly fascinating but troubled man. There was a cast of other interesting family and friends and even a murder mystery to keep me turning the pages. I was hooked from the first pages of the book when William jumped off the roof of Daniel’s childhood home into their swimming pool.
January 30, 2023
This was a remarkably quick read for me for a couple of reasons:
1 - Daniel Wallace is a fantastic storyteller, and even though we know what's coming (to some degree anyhow), there's enough light in the early going to offset the darkness we know lies around the corner.
2 - There's elements of a number of different styles of story here: the building dread of horror, with enough hints of what's to come, both direct and indirect, that we feel the need to keep marching to the inevitable and sad conclusion; a bit of mystery and murder (which comes as something of a surprise, the murder at least, and gives us some layers of mystery to contend with); memoir and biography both, via the author's personal connection with the subject who is in fact a fascinating and somewhat notable subject; and folklore, which Wallace has always done so well
3 - Stories about artists and their creations are always interesting to me - how does the sausage get made, and what unpleasant byproducts are we left with?
4 - Coming of age also factors heavily, with healthy doses of young joy (and foolishness) balanced by the view in retrospect of all the things one doesn't see in the moment.
Ultimately, this book succeeds by offering a balanced view of William Neely, tortured as he may have been in private, but often generous to those around him when needed. We get many of these stories served to us, but rarely from someone as close to the subject and talented enough to do him justice (as a full human) on the page.
It's not exactly light reading in terms of subject matter. But Wallace does an admirable job injecting levity where appropriate, and introducing us (those of us who hadn't know Neely previously) to an indisputably interesting man gone too soon.
1 - Daniel Wallace is a fantastic storyteller, and even though we know what's coming (to some degree anyhow), there's enough light in the early going to offset the darkness we know lies around the corner.
2 - There's elements of a number of different styles of story here: the building dread of horror, with enough hints of what's to come, both direct and indirect, that we feel the need to keep marching to the inevitable and sad conclusion; a bit of mystery and murder (which comes as something of a surprise, the murder at least, and gives us some layers of mystery to contend with); memoir and biography both, via the author's personal connection with the subject who is in fact a fascinating and somewhat notable subject; and folklore, which Wallace has always done so well
3 - Stories about artists and their creations are always interesting to me - how does the sausage get made, and what unpleasant byproducts are we left with?
4 - Coming of age also factors heavily, with healthy doses of young joy (and foolishness) balanced by the view in retrospect of all the things one doesn't see in the moment.
Ultimately, this book succeeds by offering a balanced view of William Neely, tortured as he may have been in private, but often generous to those around him when needed. We get many of these stories served to us, but rarely from someone as close to the subject and talented enough to do him justice (as a full human) on the page.
It's not exactly light reading in terms of subject matter. But Wallace does an admirable job injecting levity where appropriate, and introducing us (those of us who hadn't know Neely previously) to an indisputably interesting man gone too soon.
March 6, 2023
A very compelling story of the life of an amazing and tragic figure. Many of us have had someone in our lives who was a bit older and we viewed as so cool. We molded ourselves to be more like them, adopting styles and changing tastes to be more like that person. This is ultimately a story about the dichotomies in every one of us: Appearance vs. reality, good vs. evil, fiction vs. fact... and which of these wins out in the end. How many of us have the strength to pursue the truth even when it shatters everything we've ever believed about ourselves or the people we've loved and admired? Daniel Wallace has told this chapter of his life with a raw honesty that kept me wondering what was going to come next. I found the story of William alternately amusing, sad, and cringe-inducing. I highly recommend this book.
February 23, 2023
where do I start? This memoir is simultaneously a really moving book about compassion and forgiveness; a study about death by suicide and its rippling impact (including grief and anger) and, at the same time, it's a page-turner.
Daniel Wallace has been a favorite fiction author for a long time, but, as it turns out, he can really tell an important and relatable non-fiction story. I'm sure there was much more to tell, but what is here paints a portrait that is wide and deep. I felt like I knew everyone in the book. We have all had those people we thought we knew inside and out only to find out we knew nothing but what they decided to share... or in this case, pretend. This book filled my head for days with philosophical questions and images - and for me, being haunted like this is the mark of an incredible book! Get it!!!
Daniel Wallace has been a favorite fiction author for a long time, but, as it turns out, he can really tell an important and relatable non-fiction story. I'm sure there was much more to tell, but what is here paints a portrait that is wide and deep. I felt like I knew everyone in the book. We have all had those people we thought we knew inside and out only to find out we knew nothing but what they decided to share... or in this case, pretend. This book filled my head for days with philosophical questions and images - and for me, being haunted like this is the mark of an incredible book! Get it!!!
July 17, 2023
Wallace is twelve years older than I am. He's the age of the teens at the end of the cul du sac I lived in until I was five. They were like him too, boys who felt invulnerable to everything, who wanted to do everything without second thoughts. I didn't understand them or see the appeal of what they did either.
August 12, 2023
Weird. The authors obsession with his brother in law and his suicide plus the analysis of why he did was bizarre.
August 18, 2023
I’m not sure Wallace knew what he really wanted to do with this idea.
His personal journey with his idol, doesn’t fit.
Interesting stories but it’s not good.
His personal journey with his idol, doesn’t fit.
Interesting stories but it’s not good.
July 21, 2023
“The flawed ideas we have of the people we love the most are the hardest ones to surrender.�
We all love a good page-turner—wondering what will happen next, how it will all get tied up with a bow, and finally asking, “How come it all ended in a church?� But the conclusion of Daniel Wallace’s memoir, This Isn't Going to End Well, is clear from the moment we see the cover. It is revealed early on that the book’s main “character,� Wallace’s brother-in-law William Nealy, would commit suicide. Yet, I couldn’t help but keep pushing on, proceeding not with reckless abandon, but with cautious (?) abandon. This Isn’t Going to End Well is equal parts foreboding, humorous, and heart-wrenching, creating a page-turner in which you can’t stop reading, but also don’t want to turn the page for fear of confronting William’s inevitable fate.
The first time Wallace sees William Nealy (famous cartoonist, author, adrenaline junkie, carpenter, adventurer, local eccentric, etc.), he is jumping from the roof to the pool of the Wallaces� house. From that point on, from adolescence into adulthood, Wallace sought not to simply be like William but to become William. William builds things, does drugs, likes reptiles, travels, listens to loud music, writes, and draws. William was a hero, until his suicide turned Wallace’s love and adoration into intense shock, bitterness, hatred, and eventually a burning curiosity.
Wallace tells William’s story by weaving his own anecdotes with William’s journal entries uncovered after his sister’s death, which not only lead to Wallace’s discovery of William’s “shadow life”—his self-flagellation, suicidal ideation, struggles with his failing body and addictions—but to a realization that the signs were always there. As more of Nealy’s mind is revealed, it becomes less “Why would he do this?� and more “How could I have missed it?� As life became more and more "normal," William gradually locked himself away from the outside world and descended into himself. For all of his accomplishments and experiences, there was still more out there that just wouldn’t be possible anymore. What do you do when you’ve milked the last ounce out of life? Wallace’s adolescent fear of becoming something uncool, prudent, un-William, turns to pride in the fact that he goes to bed early, looks both ways before crossing the road, and takes small bites when he eats. He still wishes there were a little more William in him, however.
Wallace reveals himself through William and vice-versa, but he also reveals a greater truth about what it means to each of us to be alive. We all want to be like our heroes, and we all have that little bit of William-ness in us. Sometimes we stay up too late, we watch Avatar and get so high we get scared of Sigourney Weaver’s CGI counterpart. We drive too fast and listen to loud music until we get tinnitus. Before we pass the point of no return, though, our heels screech to a halt, Wile E. Coyote style. We could keep up the chase and follow Road Runner off the cliff, or get back in a warm bed, watch a movie, and power nap through football on a Sunday afternoon. And it's a relief that we stop there. But that precipice is mighty appealing sometimes.
We all love a good page-turner—wondering what will happen next, how it will all get tied up with a bow, and finally asking, “How come it all ended in a church?� But the conclusion of Daniel Wallace’s memoir, This Isn't Going to End Well, is clear from the moment we see the cover. It is revealed early on that the book’s main “character,� Wallace’s brother-in-law William Nealy, would commit suicide. Yet, I couldn’t help but keep pushing on, proceeding not with reckless abandon, but with cautious (?) abandon. This Isn’t Going to End Well is equal parts foreboding, humorous, and heart-wrenching, creating a page-turner in which you can’t stop reading, but also don’t want to turn the page for fear of confronting William’s inevitable fate.
The first time Wallace sees William Nealy (famous cartoonist, author, adrenaline junkie, carpenter, adventurer, local eccentric, etc.), he is jumping from the roof to the pool of the Wallaces� house. From that point on, from adolescence into adulthood, Wallace sought not to simply be like William but to become William. William builds things, does drugs, likes reptiles, travels, listens to loud music, writes, and draws. William was a hero, until his suicide turned Wallace’s love and adoration into intense shock, bitterness, hatred, and eventually a burning curiosity.
Wallace tells William’s story by weaving his own anecdotes with William’s journal entries uncovered after his sister’s death, which not only lead to Wallace’s discovery of William’s “shadow life”—his self-flagellation, suicidal ideation, struggles with his failing body and addictions—but to a realization that the signs were always there. As more of Nealy’s mind is revealed, it becomes less “Why would he do this?� and more “How could I have missed it?� As life became more and more "normal," William gradually locked himself away from the outside world and descended into himself. For all of his accomplishments and experiences, there was still more out there that just wouldn’t be possible anymore. What do you do when you’ve milked the last ounce out of life? Wallace’s adolescent fear of becoming something uncool, prudent, un-William, turns to pride in the fact that he goes to bed early, looks both ways before crossing the road, and takes small bites when he eats. He still wishes there were a little more William in him, however.
Wallace reveals himself through William and vice-versa, but he also reveals a greater truth about what it means to each of us to be alive. We all want to be like our heroes, and we all have that little bit of William-ness in us. Sometimes we stay up too late, we watch Avatar and get so high we get scared of Sigourney Weaver’s CGI counterpart. We drive too fast and listen to loud music until we get tinnitus. Before we pass the point of no return, though, our heels screech to a halt, Wile E. Coyote style. We could keep up the chase and follow Road Runner off the cliff, or get back in a warm bed, watch a movie, and power nap through football on a Sunday afternoon. And it's a relief that we stop there. But that precipice is mighty appealing sometimes.
Read
May 22, 2023Thank you to @algonquinbooks for sending me an advanced reading copy of THIS ISN’T GOING TO END WELL: THE TRUE STORY OF A MAN I THOUGHT I KNEW by Daniel Wallace (on sale 4.11.23).
The man was unbelievably cool, standing on the roof about to jump into the Wallace family’s swimming pool. Such an act was dangerous, forbidden, but utterly breathtaking. Later, Daniel learned he was William Nealy, his older sister’s latest boyfriend.
William did everything with an effortless style and served as a model of manhood, an alternative to Daniel’s cautious and conservative father. William’s seize-the-day approach to life gave Daniel the courage to become a writer, and after William and his sister married they weren’t just brothers-in-law but the closest of friends.
A famed cartoonist and kayaker, William was also a dedicated caregiver to Daniel’s sister as they aged and her MS worsened. But at forty-eight (in 2001), William died by suicide, leaving the survivors both bereft and angry.
In THIS ISN’T GOING TO END WELL, Daniel Wallace (BIG FISH) scours his memory, letters, and William’s journal to make sense of something senseless, in the process learning about parts of William that were secreted under layers of defenses. The result is a searing, beautiful memoir about the author and the larger-than-life character who influenced him so greatly. It’s a vulnerable and revealing portrait of male friendship and the complicated mix of grief and anger that coexist after a loved one dies by suicide.
Definitely pick this up if you enjoy memoirs!
The man was unbelievably cool, standing on the roof about to jump into the Wallace family’s swimming pool. Such an act was dangerous, forbidden, but utterly breathtaking. Later, Daniel learned he was William Nealy, his older sister’s latest boyfriend.
William did everything with an effortless style and served as a model of manhood, an alternative to Daniel’s cautious and conservative father. William’s seize-the-day approach to life gave Daniel the courage to become a writer, and after William and his sister married they weren’t just brothers-in-law but the closest of friends.
A famed cartoonist and kayaker, William was also a dedicated caregiver to Daniel’s sister as they aged and her MS worsened. But at forty-eight (in 2001), William died by suicide, leaving the survivors both bereft and angry.
In THIS ISN’T GOING TO END WELL, Daniel Wallace (BIG FISH) scours his memory, letters, and William’s journal to make sense of something senseless, in the process learning about parts of William that were secreted under layers of defenses. The result is a searing, beautiful memoir about the author and the larger-than-life character who influenced him so greatly. It’s a vulnerable and revealing portrait of male friendship and the complicated mix of grief and anger that coexist after a loved one dies by suicide.
Definitely pick this up if you enjoy memoirs!
March 23, 2024
Daniel Wallace , Author of “This Isn’t Going to End Well� writes a powerful and intense memoir, that also serves as a tribute to his friends and sister. He mostly discusses his feelings towards his friend and brother-in-law, William Nealy. When William and Daniel were friends, Daniel admired how creative and talented William Was. Daniel wanted a water-bed, and couldn’t deal with the constant movement, so William made a platform for the bed. Daniel was determined to have a snake for a pet, and William made the snake a home. When Daniel tired of the waterbed, and snake, William helped him to get rid of it.
When William was 48, he took his own live. He made arrangements for his pets. As Daniel investigates journals that William had written years ago, in his sister’s possession, William becomes angry and wonders if he really knew his friend. There were many secrets that Daniel never realized.
This is a complex and complicated read with many thought-provoking questions.
When William was 48, he took his own live. He made arrangements for his pets. As Daniel investigates journals that William had written years ago, in his sister’s possession, William becomes angry and wonders if he really knew his friend. There were many secrets that Daniel never realized.
This is a complex and complicated read with many thought-provoking questions.
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