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343 pages, Hardcover
First published September 1, 2003
"Instead of being wakened to the sound of birdsong, like princesses in books, I was wakened to the sound of Rommel shrieking as Fat Louie beat him senseless for getting into his bowl of Fancy Feast."
And, of course, a Tiffany’s charm bracelet with a charm that says Property of Michael Moscovitz on it that I could wear everywhere I go and so the next time some European prince asks me to dance at a ball I can hold up the bracelet and be all, ‘Sorry, can’t you read? I belong to Michael Moscovitz.- serio, Mia??
So this one was all about Mia’s heartfelt desire to go to prom with Michael which, in her opinion, would bring her one step closer to achieving self-actualization. (*insert scoffing sound*) Every book in a series has its protagonist facing great adversities. The enemy gets bigger and badder with each installment. In the Princess Diaries series, however, the “difficulties� Mia faces are:
1-Who is going to take me to the Cultural Diversity Dance?
2-Ditto Nondenominational Winter Dance.
3-Will I ever get a boyfriend?
4-Will I be able to have my first date with Michael?
And now Ladies and Gentleman, this:
5-WILL MICHAEL ASK ME TO GO TO PROM WITH HIM? WELL? WILL HE? WILL HE?
LOL. This stuff is so dumb, I love it.
All it took was the mere mentioning of prom by Shameeka, Mia’s friend, and that did it. Boy did she make use of EVERY WAKING MOMENT to obsess over it! She had this really really REALLY satisfying (for me) conversation with Lily about it in which Lily said everything I wanted to hear. She told Mia that her vegetarian diet was messing with her brain and she was going nuts and when Mia ranted about her life’s problems Lily said LIKE A BOSS,� You forgot to complain about your grandmother.�
The whole Boris/Lily thing was actually interesting. Lily was such a jerk-ass in this one. Mia’s writing got no further than the school menu, Rocky Thermopolis-Gianini was born, Tina and Boris got together and of course, Mia got to go to prom. The pattern of these books has become quite clear now. Obviously the writer knew she was going to write a lot of books so she made sure that as little as possible happens in each one. Aside from people getting together or people breaking up, what essentially happens is that Mia finds a new thing in each book to whine about, she whines about it while disregarding every good thing that has happened to her then she gets what she wants in the end. Rinse repeat.
Despite hating Mia’s guts, I kept reading and that is why it gets 3 stars. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go read the next book.
Tina just called. She is kvelling over getting to go to the prom. It is, she says, like a dream come true. I told her I couldn’t agree more. She asked me how I thought we’d come to be so lucky.
I told her: Because we are both kind and pure of heart (237).