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Franklin and Eleanor: An Extraordinary Marriage
Franklin Delano and Eleanor Roosevelt’s marriage is one of the most celebrated and scrutinized partnerships in presidential history. It raised eyebrows in their lifetimes and has only become more controversial since their deaths. From FDR’s lifelong romance with Lucy Mercer to Eleanor’s purported lesbianism—and many scandals in between—the American public has never tired of speculating about the ties that bound these two headstrong individuals. Some claim that Eleanor sacrificed her personal happiness to accommodate FDR’s needs; others claim that the marriage was nothing more than a gracious façade for political convenience. No one has told the full story until now.
In this groundbreaking new account of the marriage, Hazel Rowley describes the remarkable courage and lack of convention—private and public—that kept FDR and Eleanor together. She reveals a partnership that was both supportive and daring. Franklin, especially, knew what he owed to Eleanor, who was not so much behind the scenes as heavily engaged in them. Their relationship was the product of FDR and Eleanor’s conscious efforts—a partnership that they created according to their own ambitions and needs.
In this dramatic and vivid narrative, set against the great upheavals of the Depression and World War II, Rowley paints a portrait of a tender lifelong companionship, born of mutual admiration and compassion. Most of all, she depicts an extraordinary evolution—from conventional Victorian marriage to the bold and radical partnership that has made Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt go down in history as one of the most inspiring and fascinating couples of all time.
In this groundbreaking new account of the marriage, Hazel Rowley describes the remarkable courage and lack of convention—private and public—that kept FDR and Eleanor together. She reveals a partnership that was both supportive and daring. Franklin, especially, knew what he owed to Eleanor, who was not so much behind the scenes as heavily engaged in them. Their relationship was the product of FDR and Eleanor’s conscious efforts—a partnership that they created according to their own ambitions and needs.
In this dramatic and vivid narrative, set against the great upheavals of the Depression and World War II, Rowley paints a portrait of a tender lifelong companionship, born of mutual admiration and compassion. Most of all, she depicts an extraordinary evolution—from conventional Victorian marriage to the bold and radical partnership that has made Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt go down in history as one of the most inspiring and fascinating couples of all time.
368 pages, Hardcover
First published October 15, 2010
153 people are currently reading
2,180 people want to read
About the author
Hazel Rowley
10Ìýbooks29ÌýfollowersHazel Rowley was a British-born Australian author and biographer.
Born in London, Rowley emigrated with her parents to Adelaide at the age of eight. She studied at the University of Adelaide, graduating with Honours in French and German. Later she acquired a PhD in French. She taught literary studies at Deakin University in Melbourne, before moving to the United States.
Rowley's first published biography, of Australian novelist Christina Stead, was critically acclaimed and won the National Book Council's "Banjo" Award for non-fiction in 1994. Her next biographical work was about the African American writer Richard Wright. Her best-known book, Tête-à -tête (2005), covers the lives of Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre (de Beauvoir had been the subject of Rowley's PhD thesis). Her last published book is Franklin & Eleanor: An Extraordinary Marriage, about Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt (2011).
Rowley suffered a cerebral hemorrhage in New York in February 2011 and died there on 1 March.
Born in London, Rowley emigrated with her parents to Adelaide at the age of eight. She studied at the University of Adelaide, graduating with Honours in French and German. Later she acquired a PhD in French. She taught literary studies at Deakin University in Melbourne, before moving to the United States.
Rowley's first published biography, of Australian novelist Christina Stead, was critically acclaimed and won the National Book Council's "Banjo" Award for non-fiction in 1994. Her next biographical work was about the African American writer Richard Wright. Her best-known book, Tête-à -tête (2005), covers the lives of Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre (de Beauvoir had been the subject of Rowley's PhD thesis). Her last published book is Franklin & Eleanor: An Extraordinary Marriage, about Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt (2011).
Rowley suffered a cerebral hemorrhage in New York in February 2011 and died there on 1 March.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 413 reviews
April 23, 2025
4.5 stars
"Throughout the world, [Franklin] and Eleanor were widely viewed as embodying the best of the American character. In their personal and political lives, they were idealistic, energetic, hardworking, courageous, and deeply democratic. . . . Eleanor Roosevelt could not have been the woman she was without Franklin, but nor could Franklin Roosevelt have been the man he was without Eleanor." -- from the preface
Author Rowley's Franklin and Eleanor is one of those books that has a sort of oddball charm - it's informative, well-researched, sometimes fascinating, but yet also has a soap operatic or car crash quality to it. Fifth cousins once removed, Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt married at the dawn of the 20th century and quickly had six children within ten years. Then their marriage . . . had pretty much run its traditional course. However, as FDR pursued a career in politics - Secretary of the Navy, state senator / governor of New York, and then four (!) elected terms as U.S. President - it would have been unthinkable at that time for divorce to have been a reasonable option. Instead, they remained wed but lived parallel lives for over twenty years, with Franklin having a number of younger female paramours and Eleanor apparently dabbling in bisexuality. Now, this was all kept strictly under wraps from the nation - much like the general public being completely unaware that FDR was confined to a wheelchair due to his poliomyelitis - and yet the couple remained on generally good terms and even carried out work to keep the country afloat during the one-two punch of the Great Depression and WWII. It may not be a lifestyle to be emulated or celebrated, but it strangely enough it succeeded on its own terms. At first I thought the use of 'extraordinary' in the book's subtitle to be quite the stretch, but if you substitute synonyms such as peculiar or uncommon it makes much more sense.
"Throughout the world, [Franklin] and Eleanor were widely viewed as embodying the best of the American character. In their personal and political lives, they were idealistic, energetic, hardworking, courageous, and deeply democratic. . . . Eleanor Roosevelt could not have been the woman she was without Franklin, but nor could Franklin Roosevelt have been the man he was without Eleanor." -- from the preface
Author Rowley's Franklin and Eleanor is one of those books that has a sort of oddball charm - it's informative, well-researched, sometimes fascinating, but yet also has a soap operatic or car crash quality to it. Fifth cousins once removed, Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt married at the dawn of the 20th century and quickly had six children within ten years. Then their marriage . . . had pretty much run its traditional course. However, as FDR pursued a career in politics - Secretary of the Navy, state senator / governor of New York, and then four (!) elected terms as U.S. President - it would have been unthinkable at that time for divorce to have been a reasonable option. Instead, they remained wed but lived parallel lives for over twenty years, with Franklin having a number of younger female paramours and Eleanor apparently dabbling in bisexuality. Now, this was all kept strictly under wraps from the nation - much like the general public being completely unaware that FDR was confined to a wheelchair due to his poliomyelitis - and yet the couple remained on generally good terms and even carried out work to keep the country afloat during the one-two punch of the Great Depression and WWII. It may not be a lifestyle to be emulated or celebrated, but it strangely enough it succeeded on its own terms. At first I thought the use of 'extraordinary' in the book's subtitle to be quite the stretch, but if you substitute synonyms such as peculiar or uncommon it makes much more sense.
March 11, 2025
Finishing this on President's Day had a nice ring to it.
I'm not even an American history buff, but this compassionate profile of the Roosevelt marriage completely sucked me in.
to hear more of my thoughts over on my Booktube channel, abookolive!
I'm not even an American history buff, but this compassionate profile of the Roosevelt marriage completely sucked me in.
to hear more of my thoughts over on my Booktube channel, abookolive!
September 12, 2015
This is an excellent read for those of us who like a good dollop of human interest in our politics. I had the added bonus of being a Brit, and a fairly uneducated one at that. So the whole book for me was a revelation in various ways.
* Learning about Franklin and Eleanor - two powerful, intelligent, charismatic and often trail- blazing figures.
* Learning about FDR's revolutionary politics in response to the Great Depression and the Second World War, and Eleanor's work with African Americans, women's rights and her war work.
* Learning about the ravages of polio.
* Learning about skillful public relations, and keeping the press in check, so they could hush up the extent of the president's disability.
* Learning about love, flirtations and friendship spanning many years, between Franklin and Eleanor, and also between them and some of their passionately loyal band followers. I think they fell in love several times with other people, and these relationship often spanned decades - yet in spite of this they continued to work together brilliantly as a team.
Most of all I was struck by what charismatic figures both FDR and Eleanor were - they inspired massive loyalty in their staff and friends. FDR was obviously incredibly warm, attractive and able, and those close to him responded with a fierce devotion to the man and to his ideas, and they really gave their all to serve him.
I loved his politics. He became president in early January 1933, just a few years into The Great Depression.... And what a breath of fresh air he was after President Hoover. I think the Republicans thought the country would go down the pan with FDR in power, with his namby-pamby ideas like the New Deal.
Through the New Deal he fought for:
* a minimum wage
* an eight hour day
* a five day week
* cheaper electricity in rural areas
* unemployment relief through public works
* getting child labour outlawed.
* The legal right of workers to form unions.
And over the period of four years the New Deal transformed the lives of Americans.
Later he put through The Social Security Act, which dealt with matters like
* Social Security benefits
* Old-age pensions
* Disability benefits
* Aid for dependent mothers and children.
The author says that "By the time Congress had finished with it the bill was not nearly as inclusive as FDR had hoped, but he could still boast that this was watershed legislation "historic for all time".
I was also fascinated by what the book had to say about America's part in World War 2. Most of the population were utterly against the US joining the Allies to fight a 'European war'. Not so FDR, who was often accused of being a warmonger.
Then FDR came up with the brilliant idea of the Lend Lease Scheme in 1941, as a way of supporting the Allies in spite of the American people not wanting to enter the war.
As things turned out, the Lend Lease Scheme was to do much to put the American economy back on its feet.
Then of course all hell broke loose, when Pearl Harbour was attacked on 7th December 1941.
*2,403 American servicemen were killed.
*188 military aircraft were destroyed.
*Most of the battleships in the US Pacific Fleet were sunk.
America was now at war with Japan, and shortly afterwards, Hitler and Mussolini declared war on America too.
The book discusses the relationship between FDR, Stalin and Churchill, which I found very interesting. Whilst Churchill and FDR had got on very well for some years, (not least because Churchill bent over backwards to court the goodwill of FDR), as time went on there was nevertheless no doubt about the hierarchy between the major powers. They had a big meeting together in Tehran, and later Churchill wrote:
Sadly, after the Tehran conference, FDR was not a well man. He died 13 months later, in his fourth term of office, just before the fall of Germany and the ending of the war in the Pacific.
This book discusses Eleanor just as much as it discusses FDR, and although I have concentrated on discussing FDR - when you read the book you get a very good rounded picture of both of them.....and Eleanor is a hugely interesting figure too - liberal, modern and generous in her ideas, and just as determined as FDR to put them into practice.
I did not enjoy the beginning of the book very much - I just didn't find their childhoods all that gripping - but the book really took off for me about one third of the way through. I love reading about exciting, strong and inspiring people. Good people. And FDR and Eleanor fill that niche in bucketloads.
* Learning about Franklin and Eleanor - two powerful, intelligent, charismatic and often trail- blazing figures.
* Learning about FDR's revolutionary politics in response to the Great Depression and the Second World War, and Eleanor's work with African Americans, women's rights and her war work.
* Learning about the ravages of polio.
* Learning about skillful public relations, and keeping the press in check, so they could hush up the extent of the president's disability.
* Learning about love, flirtations and friendship spanning many years, between Franklin and Eleanor, and also between them and some of their passionately loyal band followers. I think they fell in love several times with other people, and these relationship often spanned decades - yet in spite of this they continued to work together brilliantly as a team.
Most of all I was struck by what charismatic figures both FDR and Eleanor were - they inspired massive loyalty in their staff and friends. FDR was obviously incredibly warm, attractive and able, and those close to him responded with a fierce devotion to the man and to his ideas, and they really gave their all to serve him.
I loved his politics. He became president in early January 1933, just a few years into The Great Depression.... And what a breath of fresh air he was after President Hoover. I think the Republicans thought the country would go down the pan with FDR in power, with his namby-pamby ideas like the New Deal.
Through the New Deal he fought for:
* a minimum wage
* an eight hour day
* a five day week
* cheaper electricity in rural areas
* unemployment relief through public works
* getting child labour outlawed.
* The legal right of workers to form unions.
And over the period of four years the New Deal transformed the lives of Americans.
Later he put through The Social Security Act, which dealt with matters like
* Social Security benefits
* Old-age pensions
* Disability benefits
* Aid for dependent mothers and children.
The author says that "By the time Congress had finished with it the bill was not nearly as inclusive as FDR had hoped, but he could still boast that this was watershed legislation "historic for all time".
I was also fascinated by what the book had to say about America's part in World War 2. Most of the population were utterly against the US joining the Allies to fight a 'European war'. Not so FDR, who was often accused of being a warmonger.
Then FDR came up with the brilliant idea of the Lend Lease Scheme in 1941, as a way of supporting the Allies in spite of the American people not wanting to enter the war.
"It combined altruism with national self-interest. It was to be a critical factor in the eventual success of the Allies. The idea was, that whilst officially remaining neutral, the US would embark on massive war production - ships, planes, arms, tanks, bombs - and 'sell, transfer, lend, lease' armaments, foodstuffs and other materials to countries whose defence was considered crucial to its own. The US would be helping the Allies, whilst buying its own security. It would take six weeks of impassioned debate for FDR to convince Congress that the best way to keep the US out of the war was for it to become 'the great arsenal of democracy'.
As things turned out, the Lend Lease Scheme was to do much to put the American economy back on its feet.
Then of course all hell broke loose, when Pearl Harbour was attacked on 7th December 1941.
*2,403 American servicemen were killed.
*188 military aircraft were destroyed.
*Most of the battleships in the US Pacific Fleet were sunk.
America was now at war with Japan, and shortly afterwards, Hitler and Mussolini declared war on America too.
The book discusses the relationship between FDR, Stalin and Churchill, which I found very interesting. Whilst Churchill and FDR had got on very well for some years, (not least because Churchill bent over backwards to court the goodwill of FDR), as time went on there was nevertheless no doubt about the hierarchy between the major powers. They had a big meeting together in Tehran, and later Churchill wrote:
"I realised at Tehran for the first time what a small nation we are. There I sat with the great Russian bear on one side of me, with paws outstretched, and on the other side sat the great American buffalo, and between the two sat the poor little English donkey."
Sadly, after the Tehran conference, FDR was not a well man. He died 13 months later, in his fourth term of office, just before the fall of Germany and the ending of the war in the Pacific.
This book discusses Eleanor just as much as it discusses FDR, and although I have concentrated on discussing FDR - when you read the book you get a very good rounded picture of both of them.....and Eleanor is a hugely interesting figure too - liberal, modern and generous in her ideas, and just as determined as FDR to put them into practice.
I did not enjoy the beginning of the book very much - I just didn't find their childhoods all that gripping - but the book really took off for me about one third of the way through. I love reading about exciting, strong and inspiring people. Good people. And FDR and Eleanor fill that niche in bucketloads.
June 13, 2021
"FRANKLIN AND ELEANOR: An Extraordinary Marriage" is one of the best biographies it has been my joy to read. In it, the full expanse and richness --- as well as the highs and lows -- of the lives of 2 very unique people (Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt) are laid out before the reader. Indeed, the more one reads this book, the more Franklin and Eleanor become relatable on a very human level. There are also photos of Franklin and Eleanor from various times in their lives (from their March 1905 marriage to their time in the White House), as well as photos of some of the people who figured prominently in both of their lives.
Through reading this book, I came to a keener understanding of the capacity of both Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt to attract and inspire people to devote their lives to work for them and, by doing so, help both Roosevelts achieve many of their dreams for a better nation and world. Both sincerely believed in public service and gave the full measure of their lives in service to humanity. Hazel Rowley is to be commended for writing with consummate skill a biography that made the lives of Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt real, poignant, and tangible.
Through reading this book, I came to a keener understanding of the capacity of both Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt to attract and inspire people to devote their lives to work for them and, by doing so, help both Roosevelts achieve many of their dreams for a better nation and world. Both sincerely believed in public service and gave the full measure of their lives in service to humanity. Hazel Rowley is to be commended for writing with consummate skill a biography that made the lives of Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt real, poignant, and tangible.
February 14, 2016
Hazel Rowley is well-regarded as a biographer, and the Roosevelts were interesting people whose lives were internationally significant. Her focus in this book is not on their public lives, however, but more the relationship between the two lead characters, Eleanor and Franklin, and their close relationships with others. These were no doubt scandalous at the time, and would still be seen as scandalous in the hypocritical miasma surrounding modern political life. I didn't find them particularly interesting.
I was more interested in learning some of the dynamics of the Roosevelt governments during the Depression and WWII. Rowley has drawn extensively on diaries and personal correspondence to reveal details of domestic life and sources of tension within the Roosevelt household. She has written anecdotally, rather than analytically, in a fairly flat prose style.
I felt early on that the book should be more engaging than it is, and that's how I feel now that I've finished it.
It's up for discussion at the next book club meeting, will be interesting to see what others think.
I was more interested in learning some of the dynamics of the Roosevelt governments during the Depression and WWII. Rowley has drawn extensively on diaries and personal correspondence to reveal details of domestic life and sources of tension within the Roosevelt household. She has written anecdotally, rather than analytically, in a fairly flat prose style.
I felt early on that the book should be more engaging than it is, and that's how I feel now that I've finished it.
It's up for discussion at the next book club meeting, will be interesting to see what others think.
July 16, 2024
I'm fascinated with both of them, individually and as a couple, so this was a no-brainer for me. I sailed through. In fact, it inspired a side trip to Hyde Park later in the month. Now that's what I call a good book . . .
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July 27, 2012That Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt formed a splendid partnership is not news. While FDR superbly calculated the political consequences of nearly every move he made, Eleanor encouraged him to act on his convictions -- sometimes goading him to do the right thing at the risk of his career. And it is not surprising to learn about FDR's extramarital dalliances with other women, or about Eleanor's passionate attachments to both women and men, attachments that verged on and perhaps included romantic affairs.
But Hazel Rowley, author of acclaimed biographies of Christina Stead, Richard Wright, and Jean Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir, dramatizes in intimate detail just how close the connection between husband and wife became, and how incredibly generous they were with one another. FDR even built a home on his Hyde Park estate for two women who had become his wife's intimate friends. He took an active interest in Eleanor's female partners, such as Lorena Hickok, whom FDR employed in the Federal Emergency Relief Administration.
This was never merely a marriage of convenience. Eleanor needed Franklin to involve her in a broader and more complex world than her sheltered upbringing allowed her to imagine. Initially, she had no interest in politics, but in her efforts to please her husband, she discovered that she actually excelled in the public arena. Franklin relied on Eleanor as an antidote to his manipulative, controlling mother. It was Eleanor who helped him break out of his depression after contracting polio, urging him to continue his quest to become president at a time his mother wanted to confine him to a life of pampered invalidism at his Hyde Park estate.
Even more importantly, Eleanor came to love Louis Howe, the single most important figure in Franklin's rise to the presidency. At first, Howe, a chain smoking, rumpled ex-journalist who crafted FDR's public persona, disgusted Eleanor, but the undeterred Howe encouraged her involvement in politics at a time when candidates' wives were hardly more than decorative features of political campaigns.
What united FDR and ER was their sense of community. They wanted friends and lovers around them, and they wanted to share their homes and the White House itself with those who served them and supplied the news about the world. Franklin Roosevelt and Eleanor Roosevelt, upper New York State aristocrats, became more attuned to the lives of the American people than any other presidential couple -- not a claim Rowley makes, but one that becomes evident in reading her magnificent biography.
But Hazel Rowley, author of acclaimed biographies of Christina Stead, Richard Wright, and Jean Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir, dramatizes in intimate detail just how close the connection between husband and wife became, and how incredibly generous they were with one another. FDR even built a home on his Hyde Park estate for two women who had become his wife's intimate friends. He took an active interest in Eleanor's female partners, such as Lorena Hickok, whom FDR employed in the Federal Emergency Relief Administration.
This was never merely a marriage of convenience. Eleanor needed Franklin to involve her in a broader and more complex world than her sheltered upbringing allowed her to imagine. Initially, she had no interest in politics, but in her efforts to please her husband, she discovered that she actually excelled in the public arena. Franklin relied on Eleanor as an antidote to his manipulative, controlling mother. It was Eleanor who helped him break out of his depression after contracting polio, urging him to continue his quest to become president at a time his mother wanted to confine him to a life of pampered invalidism at his Hyde Park estate.
Even more importantly, Eleanor came to love Louis Howe, the single most important figure in Franklin's rise to the presidency. At first, Howe, a chain smoking, rumpled ex-journalist who crafted FDR's public persona, disgusted Eleanor, but the undeterred Howe encouraged her involvement in politics at a time when candidates' wives were hardly more than decorative features of political campaigns.
What united FDR and ER was their sense of community. They wanted friends and lovers around them, and they wanted to share their homes and the White House itself with those who served them and supplied the news about the world. Franklin Roosevelt and Eleanor Roosevelt, upper New York State aristocrats, became more attuned to the lives of the American people than any other presidential couple -- not a claim Rowley makes, but one that becomes evident in reading her magnificent biography.
May 2, 2025
I've always enjoyed reading about FDR & Eleanor and their life. The pov of their marriage was truly interesting, I can't help comparing everything to today's world and feeling sad. If you r enjoy this type of book I think most people would enjoy it.
May 2, 2011
OK, why are some of the best Presidents such ego maniacs? Seriously...it's almost like they feel like they have earned their vices if they are off saving the world or have the best interests of the world at heart. And sadly, Franklin Roosevelt was no different. He was a great President. This book confirms that. But he was a bastard of a husband. Luckily Eleanor was strong, and she found companionship and love from others. But his slimy sexual appetite is astounding...especially that it never wanes. Is this what all men wish that they could do, if only they had the power and money?...be like Hugh Hefner?...a blonde or two on each arm! Aside from being kind of disgusted by his personal behavior, I was impressed by their tenacity in the face of such hard times in America. It was amazing how decadent their lives were...they truly were the blue blood of America. It is a life that very few get to experience, and I guess it is admirable that they were so thoughtful of the working poor, when they were the furthest from it. Their time together growing up is marvelous to read. The relationship that Franklin has with his mother is classic. Franklin is perfectly passive aggressive. The theme of lesbianism is strong in this book. It is interesting how many women who are lesbians Eleanor is close with. It was interesting to me that so many of them were living as openly gay at this time. I thought that Eleanor was particularly open to falling in love period, and not being concerned with gender. She was very strong and powerful, but sadly the culture of the times made women apologize for their strength and try to downplay it. It's a shame that she had so many kids. She admits that being a mother was the least natural role for her. Although her relationship with her daughter seems to have stayed strong though out their lives. One thing that I kept thinking, while reading this book, was how similar the political landscape is today, with the issues we have on hand. It is true that what we don't remember we will be doomed to repeat. I recommend reading this book! A great read.
March 10, 2012
I would probably never have bothered to read this book if it hadn’t been written by the noted Australian biographer, Hazel Rowley (1951-2011). For a start, as an Australian I am naturally more interested in reading about our political leaders than American ones, but also I’m not interested in their private lives at all because I believe it’s none of my business, nor anyone else’s.
However I was attracted to Franklin and Eleanor: An Extraordinary Marriage when I saw it at the library because it had received considerable publicity at the time of Rowley’s premature death last year and had received generous reviews. It turned out to be well worth reading, partly because it’s so well-written but also because it traverses territory that transcends the individuals concerned.
Franklin and Eleanor is about what is nowadays called an ‘open marriage�, that is, one in which the couple tacitly or explicitly give one another permission to have loving relationships with others. In the case of the Roosevelts, both had relationships which were enduring and which provided emotional support as well as companionship. It would have been unusual for any couple at that time, but it is astonishing that America’s first couple were able to sustain long-lasting extra-marital relationships without the press finding out about it until years after Eleanor Roosevelt’s death.
To read the rest of my review please visit
However I was attracted to Franklin and Eleanor: An Extraordinary Marriage when I saw it at the library because it had received considerable publicity at the time of Rowley’s premature death last year and had received generous reviews. It turned out to be well worth reading, partly because it’s so well-written but also because it traverses territory that transcends the individuals concerned.
Franklin and Eleanor is about what is nowadays called an ‘open marriage�, that is, one in which the couple tacitly or explicitly give one another permission to have loving relationships with others. In the case of the Roosevelts, both had relationships which were enduring and which provided emotional support as well as companionship. It would have been unusual for any couple at that time, but it is astonishing that America’s first couple were able to sustain long-lasting extra-marital relationships without the press finding out about it until years after Eleanor Roosevelt’s death.
To read the rest of my review please visit
July 9, 2015
I just finished the Ken Burns Roosevelt documentary & wanted to go more into the relationship between Eleanor & FDR. This bio was pretty good since it was told thru letter they wrote to each other. Although, their relationship was far from a true love story, it seems they did highly esteem each other to stay together for that long, 40 yrs. I ultimately feel bad for Eleanor who seemed she just wanted to be loved back but she was a courageous woman & will be one of my ultimate hero's!
August 15, 2011
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Since my childhood, one of my favorite literary genres has been biographies. In particular, I have enjoyed reading up on the lives of accomplished and strong women, which is why I was automatically drawn to this book. Though this was a biography and it was full of historical facts and references it was fresh and readable and an absolute page turner.
I have long admired and looked up to Eleanor Roosevelt -- for me her life has served as an inspiration -- and this book was an absolute pleasure to read. I came across this book on NPR's booklover's podcast series and I was extremely intrigued by the talk that the author gave on the book. The author, Hazel Rowley, hypothesized in her talk that the Roosevelt marriage evolved from a standard Victorian Era marriage into a surprisingly modern and progressive one, where the couple pursued companionship (both romantic and non-romantic ones) and interests outside of their marriage yet still remained connected to one another. They never stopped relying on each other and without one another, each could not have become the figures that they became.
The parts that I enjoyed the most about the book was the extraordinary stregnth and courage that Eleanor showed when FDR was stricken with polio. Without her committed focus to rehabilitate FDR and get him back into politics and reclaim his life, history would have taken a very different path. FDR's illness also marked Eleanor's first foray into independence and politics. She got involved in politics to help her husband and through it she discovered her own passion for poltiics, her leadership abilities and inspired confidence not only in herself and those around her. FDR, though he could be insensitive sometimes to his wife, was acutely aware of what a powerful political ally his wife was.
I would like to point out that this book paints a realistic portrait of who Eleanor and FDR were. Both were great, charismatic and accomplished characters, AND like all human beings both were flawed as well. Rowley, honestly points out that Eleanor was lacking as a mother and at times even a wife. FDR could be insensitive to his wife's needs at times and sacrificed his family life for his political aspirations.
I felt like I really got to know Eleanor and FDR and I have come to admire them deeply. For all you history buffs out there and for those of you seeking inspiration, I highly recommend this book. It will not disappoint.
I have long admired and looked up to Eleanor Roosevelt -- for me her life has served as an inspiration -- and this book was an absolute pleasure to read. I came across this book on NPR's booklover's podcast series and I was extremely intrigued by the talk that the author gave on the book. The author, Hazel Rowley, hypothesized in her talk that the Roosevelt marriage evolved from a standard Victorian Era marriage into a surprisingly modern and progressive one, where the couple pursued companionship (both romantic and non-romantic ones) and interests outside of their marriage yet still remained connected to one another. They never stopped relying on each other and without one another, each could not have become the figures that they became.
The parts that I enjoyed the most about the book was the extraordinary stregnth and courage that Eleanor showed when FDR was stricken with polio. Without her committed focus to rehabilitate FDR and get him back into politics and reclaim his life, history would have taken a very different path. FDR's illness also marked Eleanor's first foray into independence and politics. She got involved in politics to help her husband and through it she discovered her own passion for poltiics, her leadership abilities and inspired confidence not only in herself and those around her. FDR, though he could be insensitive sometimes to his wife, was acutely aware of what a powerful political ally his wife was.
I would like to point out that this book paints a realistic portrait of who Eleanor and FDR were. Both were great, charismatic and accomplished characters, AND like all human beings both were flawed as well. Rowley, honestly points out that Eleanor was lacking as a mother and at times even a wife. FDR could be insensitive to his wife's needs at times and sacrificed his family life for his political aspirations.
I felt like I really got to know Eleanor and FDR and I have come to admire them deeply. For all you history buffs out there and for those of you seeking inspiration, I highly recommend this book. It will not disappoint.
July 11, 2011
I chose to read this book because I am very curious about the marriage and relationship of Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt. Although I enjoyed reading this book and found it very interesting, I didn't feel that it lived up to how it was marketed. I felt the book focused more on the details of Franklin Roosevelt's political career with some family background thrown in rather than specifically the relationship between these two impressive people.Of course, Roosevelt's political career was always very much intertwined with his relationship with Eleanor as she was a very strong personality in her own rite and was always very involved in his campaigns and discussions of policy. I just never really developed a clear picture of what their relationship REALLY was. I did enjoy this book, however, because I have always been a huge fan of Franklin Roosevelt and his presidency.
In the end, I came away feeling that just as Franklin and Eleanor (along with close friends, aides and the media) had kept hidden the extent of Roosevelt's paralysis from polio from the country at large. they did an equally fine job of keeping hidden the private people behind the public figures.Although this booked addressed the long held rumors that Franklin and Eleanor each had lovers throughout their marriage, it was also apparent that they cared for their family and were interested in and committed to their shared political views and what they felt was important for the country. Ultimately, perhaps that is ALL that is important to know.
In the end, I came away feeling that just as Franklin and Eleanor (along with close friends, aides and the media) had kept hidden the extent of Roosevelt's paralysis from polio from the country at large. they did an equally fine job of keeping hidden the private people behind the public figures.Although this booked addressed the long held rumors that Franklin and Eleanor each had lovers throughout their marriage, it was also apparent that they cared for their family and were interested in and committed to their shared political views and what they felt was important for the country. Ultimately, perhaps that is ALL that is important to know.
November 12, 2011
I just devoured this book. I am not an historian, so I cannot debate the veracity of the facts. However, assuming this story sprung from research with integrity, it was a fascinating read. Indeed, a remarkable relationship existd between Franklin & Eleanor. It was based on acceptance of one another which stemmed from them being accepting of people in general. Superficial traits and public opinion had little to do with their loyalties, although they did require secrecy to live as their true selves. I like the idea that they both retained their humanity, the good, the bad, and the ugly, despite their public lives. Who are we to judge? As seems to be true for many memorable leaders, it seemes to me that the children probably suffered more than either parent. In this case, both parents were great leaders, so I would be interested to learn more about the impact their life choices had on their five children. Most interesting to me: their love of communal living combined with their fierce independence and their personal insecurities.
November 1, 2014
I like to think that I'm at least a somewhat intellectually curious person, but there is one topic that typically bores me, and it's a big one, and I'm a little ashamed to admit it, but I can't deny - history typically bores me. And I further hate that what helps me engage with history is when it's a small story about a few people rather than narratives about grand sweeping periods of time or movements and their impact on current day (so "girly" of me to want to hear the personal dram - bleh), but there you have it. Unless history involves personal drama - I'm out.
But this book was great, because I get some history creds in a context that I could stick with.
By the end of the book I admired both Franklin and Eleanor, I appreciated their complex personal lives and admired the hell out of their drive to better society.
As far as their personal lives go: Eleanor comes out on top more often than not (pun/innuendo intended).
But this book was great, because I get some history creds in a context that I could stick with.
By the end of the book I admired both Franklin and Eleanor, I appreciated their complex personal lives and admired the hell out of their drive to better society.
As far as their personal lives go: Eleanor comes out on top more often than not (pun/innuendo intended).
October 2, 2012
This was most interesting and easy to read. The way they created separate, but integrated lives is most fascinating. At the center was Franklin and his political life, all revolved around that. Yet she was able to become her own person, have her own friends and still fill the role as his wife and the First Lady.
November 21, 2018
I just love history. What an amazing progressive marriage. Possibly that’s what it takes for such powerful public roles. I was shocked at the lifestyle the rich can lead. I want to know more about them both. Courageous without fear! Great last line of the book, and apparently so true!
February 21, 2017
As the title implies, the book takes a tight view on the Franklin-Eleanor relationship, and at a very brisk and readable 300 pages (without index and notes), this tight focus naturally excludes or diminishes a lot of the history that this famous couple generated. Because of this, big controversial issues - such as FDR's executive order that caused American citizens of Japanese descent to be imprisoned - are covered only very briefly in the context of the First Couple: in this case, in a few sentences, we learn that Eleanor objected to it, but fairly quickly conceded publicly to FDR's stance that it was a necessary ugly thing to do.
Rowley's prose is straightforward and very readable, covering more than 40 years in a short amount of time, all while packing in lots of human detail. The most interesting thing to me was to discover just how much Eleanor and FDR forged a unique relationship where they were both partners, and yet had distinctly separate lives. I had known before reading this book that there were hints of Eleanor having a lesbian affair, but I hadn't known just how many of her friends and influencers were open lesbians, or how she lost herself passionately to both men and women outside her marriage. I also hadn't realized how much FDR cultivated such a community/family/loyalty cadre of people that he had around him at all times.
Recommended.
Rowley's prose is straightforward and very readable, covering more than 40 years in a short amount of time, all while packing in lots of human detail. The most interesting thing to me was to discover just how much Eleanor and FDR forged a unique relationship where they were both partners, and yet had distinctly separate lives. I had known before reading this book that there were hints of Eleanor having a lesbian affair, but I hadn't known just how many of her friends and influencers were open lesbians, or how she lost herself passionately to both men and women outside her marriage. I also hadn't realized how much FDR cultivated such a community/family/loyalty cadre of people that he had around him at all times.
Recommended.
October 2, 2024
I wasn't sure what I wanted to read next and I saw this in my Nook library and was like, "Yes, this is the comfort read I was looking for." Yes, books about the Roosevelt marriage are my comfort reads. Then I went onto Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ and saw that I had read this in 2011, which checks out, but I was like, "Whatever, I liked it then and it's what I'm in the mood for." And all that tells you a lot about me.
After outlining their upbringings, Rowley guides the reader through the Roosevelt courtship and 40 years of marriage. She naturally goes through events going on around the couple, but doesn't go into much detail about political maneuvering. Her focus is on the relationship between Eleanor and Franklin, as well as their relationships with others, from Eleanor chafing under Franklin's mother to Franklin's affair with Lucy Mercer to Eleanor's relationships with various men and women to Franklin's flirtations and companions over the years. Rowley manages to not judge either, but instead look at how those other relationships fit into that of Franklin and Eleanor. About one of Franklin's later companions, a friend of Eleanor's wrote "Mrs. R explained to me last night that there always was a Martha for relaxation and for the non-ending pleasure of having an admiring audience for every breath. She is just a bit annoyed" (p. 267).
Rowley admits up front that she's a Roosevelt fan. Even so, she doesn't hesitate to show both Franklin and Eleanor's faults. She highlighted something I've encountered in other books about Franklin, about how he was personable with anyone but very few people got to know him. "Franklin perfected the art of amiable chatter, without revealing a thing about his inner self," she noted about his time in prep school (p. 28). "He disliked intimate, introspective talk, and had long since learned to deal with emotional problems by ignoring them" (p. 55). People are quick to blame Eleanor for Franklin straying, but living with that kind of husband must've been hard, particularly for someone like Eleanor, who "would always feel that she had to deserve love" (p. 31).
Eleanor, meanwhile, toward the end of Franklin's life hounded him about issues when he was desperately ill, to the point that most of Franklin's inner circle tried to protect him from her. She would go into funks and hold grudges and was not a good mother. She cared passionately and demanded a lot--probably too much--from those around her. She also wrote effusively to those she loved; there are letters she wrote that I can't imagine even writing to my husband.
A good read and a great insight into these extraordinary people. That said, my biggest takeaway might be of the mentions of flying to Chicago. They had to stop to refuel TWICE in flying from New York! Later, a flight from either DC or New York took NINE HOURS. NINE HOURS. It's amazing how much the world has changed.
After outlining their upbringings, Rowley guides the reader through the Roosevelt courtship and 40 years of marriage. She naturally goes through events going on around the couple, but doesn't go into much detail about political maneuvering. Her focus is on the relationship between Eleanor and Franklin, as well as their relationships with others, from Eleanor chafing under Franklin's mother to Franklin's affair with Lucy Mercer to Eleanor's relationships with various men and women to Franklin's flirtations and companions over the years. Rowley manages to not judge either, but instead look at how those other relationships fit into that of Franklin and Eleanor. About one of Franklin's later companions, a friend of Eleanor's wrote "Mrs. R explained to me last night that there always was a Martha for relaxation and for the non-ending pleasure of having an admiring audience for every breath. She is just a bit annoyed" (p. 267).
Rowley admits up front that she's a Roosevelt fan. Even so, she doesn't hesitate to show both Franklin and Eleanor's faults. She highlighted something I've encountered in other books about Franklin, about how he was personable with anyone but very few people got to know him. "Franklin perfected the art of amiable chatter, without revealing a thing about his inner self," she noted about his time in prep school (p. 28). "He disliked intimate, introspective talk, and had long since learned to deal with emotional problems by ignoring them" (p. 55). People are quick to blame Eleanor for Franklin straying, but living with that kind of husband must've been hard, particularly for someone like Eleanor, who "would always feel that she had to deserve love" (p. 31).
Eleanor, meanwhile, toward the end of Franklin's life hounded him about issues when he was desperately ill, to the point that most of Franklin's inner circle tried to protect him from her. She would go into funks and hold grudges and was not a good mother. She cared passionately and demanded a lot--probably too much--from those around her. She also wrote effusively to those she loved; there are letters she wrote that I can't imagine even writing to my husband.
A good read and a great insight into these extraordinary people. That said, my biggest takeaway might be of the mentions of flying to Chicago. They had to stop to refuel TWICE in flying from New York! Later, a flight from either DC or New York took NINE HOURS. NINE HOURS. It's amazing how much the world has changed.
December 12, 2011
Next to Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Delano Roosevelt has always been an idol of mine. When fighting for the little man was not popular, and in fact, very much a deterring factor in politics -- when the Roaring 20's and free market, conservatism reigned -- along came a politician named FDR who, despite his own good fortune and wealth, did not neglect to see the responsibility he had to make the world a better place for those less fortunate. How easy it could have been for him to take the path of other politicians of his class; he could very easily have protected his own interests and wealth by making policies that would have benefited him at the expense of the average man. Like Jack Kennedy after him, he served the common man's needs in America despite the wealth that could have easily dictated more selfish goals. In the past decade, politics has often been governed by fear. This was certainly true in FDR's time. Herbert Hoover's blatant disregard for regulation set the course that led to the Great Depression. The right, at the time, used fear as a tactic in their own attempt to thwart Roosevelt's agenda, inciting socialist fears that the nation would falter. Instead, FDR's steady demeanor, ability to relate & connect to the common man, along with his consistent mission to lead in spite of fear, were all important factors that led to the nation enduring during one of the most turbulent times in American history. Behind this great man, was an equally great woman. FDR and Eleanor did indeed have an extraordinary marriage. Perfect it was not, but they were progressive and courageous in the way they chose to live. Americans are not known for their study or understanding of history. Indeed, it often leads to uninformed decisions (and potential leaders). Written by a British born woman, this book serves as both a history lesson and invaluable reminder of how great this nation could be when lead by greatness.
May 17, 2012
Hazel Rowley has written a good book here, but it seems to me one that didn’t need writing. After having read biographies of both these monumental people, I found little new either in content or approach to freshen my view of them either as individuals or as a couple.
Perhaps the most interesting insight--available to me after my other reading if I’d only been intelligent enough to catch it--in Franklin and Eleanor is the idea that both of them had a penchant for a communal existence. They liked people, and they liked a lot of them around. With their wealth, they were able to support or at least supplement the existence of a good many. Hyde Park turned from a residence into a compound over the years, and the White House collective changed shape with the frequency of an amoeba during the presidency. This condition, it seems to me, was useful in that it provided cover for the many intriguing relationships that developed around the marriage. Franklin had a number of relationships with women, Eleanor a number with both women and men. How many of the relationships were romantic and/or sexual and how meaningful or reciprocal has been always a mystery, and Rowley does nothing to clear that up.
People around the community were extraordinarily respectful of Roosevelt privacy. They kept their mouths shut. They burned letters. Even those who wrote autobiographies didn’t seem to know much and didn’t pretend to know more than they did. Those were the days.
If this is the first book about the Roosevelt’s you have read, it’s a good starting point, but don’t stop. There’s much more to learn.
Perhaps the most interesting insight--available to me after my other reading if I’d only been intelligent enough to catch it--in Franklin and Eleanor is the idea that both of them had a penchant for a communal existence. They liked people, and they liked a lot of them around. With their wealth, they were able to support or at least supplement the existence of a good many. Hyde Park turned from a residence into a compound over the years, and the White House collective changed shape with the frequency of an amoeba during the presidency. This condition, it seems to me, was useful in that it provided cover for the many intriguing relationships that developed around the marriage. Franklin had a number of relationships with women, Eleanor a number with both women and men. How many of the relationships were romantic and/or sexual and how meaningful or reciprocal has been always a mystery, and Rowley does nothing to clear that up.
People around the community were extraordinarily respectful of Roosevelt privacy. They kept their mouths shut. They burned letters. Even those who wrote autobiographies didn’t seem to know much and didn’t pretend to know more than they did. Those were the days.
If this is the first book about the Roosevelt’s you have read, it’s a good starting point, but don’t stop. There’s much more to learn.
January 26, 2019
A review of the lives of Eleanor and Franklin Roosevelt; and reflection of the time they lived in. The book is written in a very easy to read way and does not require external sources to enjoy while at the same time opens the door further reading.
Some of the characters were passed over like Howe and Missy - they were presented as one-dimensional: thinker and loyal assistant respectively- but with the number of characters in the book, it is almost impossible to portray all with same details.
I found the book engaging, well-written and balanced. Both Franklin and Eleanor come alive showing both their strengths and weaknesses. As always, I loved the photos - I would have loved to see more.
NOTE TO SELF: given the chance go and visit Franklin's home and library in Hyde Park.
ELEANOR'S BIOS
- This is my Story (1937)
- This I Remember
- On My Own (1958)
NOTES
- original name was Rosenvelt (Field of Roses). Changed to Roosevelt when the family, originally from Holland, emigrated to New York (New Amsterdam)
- Very interesting to note the relationship with journalist and notice how different the codes of conduct changed over time.
- absolutely recommend. A solid NINE - and marked for a re-read.
Some of the characters were passed over like Howe and Missy - they were presented as one-dimensional: thinker and loyal assistant respectively- but with the number of characters in the book, it is almost impossible to portray all with same details.
I found the book engaging, well-written and balanced. Both Franklin and Eleanor come alive showing both their strengths and weaknesses. As always, I loved the photos - I would have loved to see more.
NOTE TO SELF: given the chance go and visit Franklin's home and library in Hyde Park.
ELEANOR'S BIOS
- This is my Story (1937)
- This I Remember
- On My Own (1958)
NOTES
- original name was Rosenvelt (Field of Roses). Changed to Roosevelt when the family, originally from Holland, emigrated to New York (New Amsterdam)
- Very interesting to note the relationship with journalist and notice how different the codes of conduct changed over time.
- absolutely recommend. A solid NINE - and marked for a re-read.
May 5, 2017
3.5 rounded up to 4 on technical merit. This is a difficult book for me to review. I admit I was drawn to it because the suggestion that they had an open marriage was somewhat titillating. In the end though, it seemed to fall at points into long lists of comings and goings. I expected to like them more, and I may have, had less of the story been told through their correspondence. It's a silly thing to say considering what primary sources like that lend to a biography, but in the context of the time period, the way they spoke and wrote in such gushing terms, I kept expecting F. Scott and Zelda to show up. When I wanted to know more about the politics or the decisions, it wasn't there - which is no fault of the book's, it was not the focus. The internment of Japanese-Americans is a good example. For all intents and purposes, it appears that FDR never encountered a germ that he didn't provide a good home for, and yet he managed to cross the Atlantic in a ship filled with the Spanish Flu and not get it. Almost enough to make you believe in fate, or miracles. While much was done to keep the evidence of it from the American people, it is nonetheless astonishing that a person with such a disability would be our longest serving president, and at such a dark time in our history. It's no wonder that it killed him, specially when you see how quickly our more modern presidents turn gray and age in just four years. In the end I think perhaps that I really just didn't get the sense from the writing as to how exactly it was that they engendered such unswerving devotion from those in their inner circle. I might read something more about them after a time and see if I feel differently.
May 20, 2017
This is a great summary of the Roosevelt's during their married years. I, personally, didn't feel it was a book ABOUT their marriage but more about them while they were married, which is a big difference for these two. This covers a lot of years quickly. If you haven't read much about the Roosevelt's I think you will find this book intriguing and well documented. If, like me, you have read numerous books about the Roosevelt's, especially Eleanor, you may find it to be a repeat of everything you already know. There were a few points that were new to me, or presented in a new way. It is well written and well researched. The audiobook is well done and I would recommend it to anyone interested.
July 3, 2023
Ok... it wasn't patriotism that led me here. It was curiosity about all those extramarital affairs and Eleanor's bisexuality within the confines of the most scrutinized office in the nation.
BUT! The book was so much more. It endeared the Roosevelts to me forever. This is a couple who lived bravely and radically for their time, and won. A handicapped world leader & bisexual first lady elected FOUR times in the 20th century?! That's special. That's America at its best. And while both came from privileged backgrounds and kept their identities secret, it's still important that they thrived, against every conservative American odd. The US was better for it. (We're made better by diverse perspectives! Who knew!)
But, of course, just as some feeling resembling patriotism began to arise in my stomach, it was quelled by mentions of Japanese internment camps + all of FDR's young mistresses. Hmm.
(Also just realized i finished this days before the 4th? Festive of me?)
Anyway, here's to Eleanor! My birthday twin and one of the most influential women to have ever lived. A Libra icon.
BUT! The book was so much more. It endeared the Roosevelts to me forever. This is a couple who lived bravely and radically for their time, and won. A handicapped world leader & bisexual first lady elected FOUR times in the 20th century?! That's special. That's America at its best. And while both came from privileged backgrounds and kept their identities secret, it's still important that they thrived, against every conservative American odd. The US was better for it. (We're made better by diverse perspectives! Who knew!)
But, of course, just as some feeling resembling patriotism began to arise in my stomach, it was quelled by mentions of Japanese internment camps + all of FDR's young mistresses. Hmm.
(Also just realized i finished this days before the 4th? Festive of me?)
Anyway, here's to Eleanor! My birthday twin and one of the most influential women to have ever lived. A Libra icon.
April 8, 2018
A very thorough and engaging portrait of two of the greatest figures in American history. I appreciated Hazel Rowley's forthright and non-judgmental coverage of the more unconventional aspects of FDR and Eleanor Roosevelt's marriage. I not only learned many historical details, but also began thinking about the question, "What makes a good marriage?", which is fitting preparation for my own wedding in two months (!).
November 8, 2018
An enjoyable, engaging, and readable exploration of Franklin and Eleanor's marriage, which also provided a good overview of their lives and political work. The book is well-researched, quoting many letters from the time, whilst the author is careful not to speculate too much where sources are not available. I found this to be a really good introduction to this unique couple, which leaves me wanting to find out more about them.
April 24, 2019
An interesting detailed book about both Franklin and Eleanor separately, and their marriage. I read No Ordinary Time years ago, which was also about them and also wonderful. This one focused more on their personal lives, the other one more on the time in which they lived, but I wholeheartedly recommend both. They were fascinating people, who lived during a fascinating time!
April 24, 2022
Really enjoyed this - well-written and engaging account of an unusual and powerful couple. I don’t know much about US history and leaders, so much was new to me.
May 20, 2024
A wonderful biography about two of our countries most extraordinary people ever to occupy the White House. They were trailblazers in every way.
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