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Diary of a Narcissistic Bloodsucker, a Humorous Vampire Tale
Spicy Vampire Humor/Satire
Zara is a very naughty vampire. She lusts for both sex and blood. Unfortunately, something has gone awry and her normal habits now create new problems to solve. In the midst of sorting things out, she meets an intriguing human named Niven -- a musician who lives in the magical kingdom of contemporary Boulder, CO -- and discovers that he is much more than he appears to be. Then, if things weren't interesting enough, Zara encounters her old mentor/lover -- the vampire who originally turned her -- and things get downright supernatural.
Zara is a very naughty vampire. She lusts for both sex and blood. Unfortunately, something has gone awry and her normal habits now create new problems to solve. In the midst of sorting things out, she meets an intriguing human named Niven -- a musician who lives in the magical kingdom of contemporary Boulder, CO -- and discovers that he is much more than he appears to be. Then, if things weren't interesting enough, Zara encounters her old mentor/lover -- the vampire who originally turned her -- and things get downright supernatural.
32 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 25, 2010
1 person is currently reading
149 people want to read
About the author
Lynda Hilburn
20Ìýbooks314ÌýfollowersLynda's books can be classified as urban fantasy/dark fantasy with romance, suspense/mystery, satire, horror, humor and sex.
Lynda Hilburn writes paranormal fiction. More specifically, she writes vampire books. After a childhood filled with invisible friends, sightings of dead relatives and a fascination with the occult, turning to the paranormal was a no-brainer. In her other reality, she makes her living as a psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, professional psychic/tarot reader, university instructor and workshop presenter. Her series, Kismet Knight, Vampire Psychologist is being rewritten and will be republished by Quercus Books in the UK and Europe, and by Sterling Publishing/Silver Oak in North America. The UK version of the first book in the series, "The Vampire Shrink" will be published September, 2011. The North American version a few months later. Book #2 (tentatively titled "Blood Therapy"), which is a new book, will be published a year later, and book #3 (the book that used to be called "Dark Harvest") will follow a year later. She also has a short story in the anthology, "Mammoth Book of Paranormal Romance," called "Blood Song." "Diary of a Narcissistic Bloodsucker" and "Undead in the City" are available through Amazon.com and Smashwords.
Lynda Hilburn writes paranormal fiction. More specifically, she writes vampire books. After a childhood filled with invisible friends, sightings of dead relatives and a fascination with the occult, turning to the paranormal was a no-brainer. In her other reality, she makes her living as a psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, professional psychic/tarot reader, university instructor and workshop presenter. Her series, Kismet Knight, Vampire Psychologist is being rewritten and will be republished by Quercus Books in the UK and Europe, and by Sterling Publishing/Silver Oak in North America. The UK version of the first book in the series, "The Vampire Shrink" will be published September, 2011. The North American version a few months later. Book #2 (tentatively titled "Blood Therapy"), which is a new book, will be published a year later, and book #3 (the book that used to be called "Dark Harvest") will follow a year later. She also has a short story in the anthology, "Mammoth Book of Paranormal Romance," called "Blood Song." "Diary of a Narcissistic Bloodsucker" and "Undead in the City" are available through Amazon.com and Smashwords.
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
March 15, 2011
This was a fun and sexy glimpse into the world of a sensual female vampire!
I was hooked on this novella from page one and mourned the ending.
Zara is a great heroine who knows who she is and does not apologizes for it. She's smart, sexy, quite often arrogant in her narration, but you just can't seem to hate her! Her charisma and great sense of humor brings a lightness to the usual "woe is me" vampire tale.
Diary of a Narcissistic Bloodsucker is an original story with a strong female lead who doesn't need to have a happily ever after to be satisfied. The surprising twist at the end is unexpected but definitely justifiable. It's the perfect blend of excitement and vampire erotica! I, for one, would love to read more journal entries by this narcissistic bloodsucker!
I was hooked on this novella from page one and mourned the ending.
Zara is a great heroine who knows who she is and does not apologizes for it. She's smart, sexy, quite often arrogant in her narration, but you just can't seem to hate her! Her charisma and great sense of humor brings a lightness to the usual "woe is me" vampire tale.
Diary of a Narcissistic Bloodsucker is an original story with a strong female lead who doesn't need to have a happily ever after to be satisfied. The surprising twist at the end is unexpected but definitely justifiable. It's the perfect blend of excitement and vampire erotica! I, for one, would love to read more journal entries by this narcissistic bloodsucker!
December 24, 2011
This story is a little longer. But it is still a short story.
It is the year 2160. I know the time threw me off too� but believe me� it’s not futurist or anything like that� Men are still men! Go figure!
So, let me introduce you to She Demon� Her real name is Zarafina of Sherbrook. Zara is the oldest of her kind still playing amongst the petty humans of the world. What is she you might ask� A vampire and she is the oldest one living. She was transcended or born� into the world of darkness on her 26th human birthday. ((Oh and by the way� she is in no way humble about being drop dead gorgeous)). She decided to share with us a journal of her memoirs of her life.
Before she shares with us her memories, she teaches us a lesson or two about undead mythology. She shares with us what the sun really does to them and how drinking our blood is the most intoxicating thing to them.
I really like this part� It is about the “fact� of what the sun does to them. How drinking our blood really is an orgasmic feeling for them; her quote,
“It is divine orgasm�!! She says, “I think you’ve been led astray because we really don’t want you to know what we’ve got going here, because then too many of you would want to join in.�
Dairy of a Narcissistic Bloodsucker © Lynda Hilburn
Now Zara also has a unique ability� we know that vampires are commonly termed “blood suckers�, but her term would be “mind sucker..� When she sucks the blood for her “donator,� she absorbs the memories of the mind. If it goes to far� the “donator� becomes like a vegetable. Not a good thing.
But the story gets better� She meets Niven� whom she is very attracted to�
And he’s very attracted to her� But you will have to read the rest of the story to find out what happens to them� or with them!! ***wink, it is good***
It is the year 2160. I know the time threw me off too� but believe me� it’s not futurist or anything like that� Men are still men! Go figure!
So, let me introduce you to She Demon� Her real name is Zarafina of Sherbrook. Zara is the oldest of her kind still playing amongst the petty humans of the world. What is she you might ask� A vampire and she is the oldest one living. She was transcended or born� into the world of darkness on her 26th human birthday. ((Oh and by the way� she is in no way humble about being drop dead gorgeous)). She decided to share with us a journal of her memoirs of her life.
Before she shares with us her memories, she teaches us a lesson or two about undead mythology. She shares with us what the sun really does to them and how drinking our blood is the most intoxicating thing to them.
I really like this part� It is about the “fact� of what the sun does to them. How drinking our blood really is an orgasmic feeling for them; her quote,
“It is divine orgasm�!! She says, “I think you’ve been led astray because we really don’t want you to know what we’ve got going here, because then too many of you would want to join in.�
Dairy of a Narcissistic Bloodsucker © Lynda Hilburn
Now Zara also has a unique ability� we know that vampires are commonly termed “blood suckers�, but her term would be “mind sucker..� When she sucks the blood for her “donator,� she absorbs the memories of the mind. If it goes to far� the “donator� becomes like a vegetable. Not a good thing.
But the story gets better� She meets Niven� whom she is very attracted to�
And he’s very attracted to her� But you will have to read the rest of the story to find out what happens to them� or with them!! ***wink, it is good***
March 14, 2011
E-book/Kindle
We meet and learn about Zara, the centuries old vampire queen, by reading her diary entries. Zara is fun, light-hearted and extremely self-absorbed.
I enjoyed the new and unique aspects of the paranormal/vampire aspects -- I haven't read anything like these aspects before. The story is sensual, but not erotic, or a romance.
I liked the fun, quick read from author Lynda Hilburn, who wrote one of my all-time favorite reads, The Vampire Shrink, #1 Kismet Knight. Kismet is a psychologist in Denver, Colorado who suddenly encounters patients who believe there are vampires in the area. Deaveraux (sp?) is way high on my list of Most Lusted After Vampires in fiction! This is a FABULOUS book. I can't imagine why it's not more widely read. People I've recommended it to have loved it (5 star ratings) as well.
We meet and learn about Zara, the centuries old vampire queen, by reading her diary entries. Zara is fun, light-hearted and extremely self-absorbed.
I enjoyed the new and unique aspects of the paranormal/vampire aspects -- I haven't read anything like these aspects before. The story is sensual, but not erotic, or a romance.
I liked the fun, quick read from author Lynda Hilburn, who wrote one of my all-time favorite reads, The Vampire Shrink, #1 Kismet Knight. Kismet is a psychologist in Denver, Colorado who suddenly encounters patients who believe there are vampires in the area. Deaveraux (sp?) is way high on my list of Most Lusted After Vampires in fiction! This is a FABULOUS book. I can't imagine why it's not more widely read. People I've recommended it to have loved it (5 star ratings) as well.
March 22, 2011
This was a fun, hot & interesting read! Zara is a feisty Vampire who knows what she wants. The title really sums up the book well! If you're looking for a book with a relatable character, this one isn't for you (Unless you are a very old vampire!) However, if you're looking for a steamy read with a strong female lead, sizzling sex & hot males, this one is for you. For a short story, it's got a great twist!
December 4, 2016
Though this is about a female vampire in the Kismet Knight world it has nothing to do with the Dev/Kismet story.
Zara is a very sexual, ancient vampire newly awakened in 2160 Paris after having slept the last 100 years. She’s decided to write her memoirs. During the course of her flow-of-consciousness ramblings we find the story behind why she ‘hid� away in sleep.
Fave scenes: the tranced out young men and Zara’s revenge.
Zara is a very sexual, ancient vampire newly awakened in 2160 Paris after having slept the last 100 years. She’s decided to write her memoirs. During the course of her flow-of-consciousness ramblings we find the story behind why she ‘hid� away in sleep.
Fave scenes: the tranced out young men and Zara’s revenge.
March 5, 2011
I know the title should be a dead giveaway that the main character is very self-centered. But my gawd!! The voice of Zara is seriously grating on the nerves. I have to admit I skimmed some parts of this story.
March 27, 2011
Read my review here:
April 30, 2012
Delightful, quick read. I don't usually like first person narrative but Hilburn has a wonderful wit that shines through everything she writes, this novella included. Sexy fun.
September 3, 2012
Funny, lighthearted romp with the very germ of her later vampire novels peeking through... Enjoyable fluff...
January 18, 2011
I thoroughly enjoyed this short story. Zara has a wonderful "voice". I'd love to hear more of it.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
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