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Class: A Memoir of Motherhood, Hunger, and Higher Education
From the New York Times bestselling author who inspired the hit Netflix series about a struggling mother barely making ends meet as a housecleaner—a gripping memoir about college, motherhood, poverty, and life after Maid.
When Stephanie Land set out to write her memoir Maid, she never could have imagined what was to come. Handpicked by President Barack Obama as one of the best books of 2019, it was called “an eye-opening journey into the lives of the working poor� (People). Later it was adapted into the hit Netflix series Maid, which was viewed by 67 million households and was Netflix’s fourth most-watched show in 2021, garnering three Primetime Emmy Award nominations. Stephanie’s escape out of poverty and abuse in search of a better life inspired millions.
Maid was a story about a housecleaner, but it was also a story about a woman with a dream. In Class, Land takes us with her as she finishes college and pursues her writing career. Facing barriers at every turn including a byzantine loan system, not having enough money for food, navigating the judgments of professors and fellow students who didn’t understand the demands of attending college while under the poverty line—Land finds a way to survive once again, finally graduating in her mid-thirties.
Class paints an intimate and heartbreaking portrait of motherhood as it converges and often conflicts with personal desire and professional ambition. Who has the right to create art? Who has the right to go to college? And what kind of work is valued in our culture? In clear, candid, and moving prose, Class grapples with these questions, offering a searing indictment of America’s educational system and an inspiring testimony of a mother’s triumph against all odds.
When Stephanie Land set out to write her memoir Maid, she never could have imagined what was to come. Handpicked by President Barack Obama as one of the best books of 2019, it was called “an eye-opening journey into the lives of the working poor� (People). Later it was adapted into the hit Netflix series Maid, which was viewed by 67 million households and was Netflix’s fourth most-watched show in 2021, garnering three Primetime Emmy Award nominations. Stephanie’s escape out of poverty and abuse in search of a better life inspired millions.
Maid was a story about a housecleaner, but it was also a story about a woman with a dream. In Class, Land takes us with her as she finishes college and pursues her writing career. Facing barriers at every turn including a byzantine loan system, not having enough money for food, navigating the judgments of professors and fellow students who didn’t understand the demands of attending college while under the poverty line—Land finds a way to survive once again, finally graduating in her mid-thirties.
Class paints an intimate and heartbreaking portrait of motherhood as it converges and often conflicts with personal desire and professional ambition. Who has the right to create art? Who has the right to go to college? And what kind of work is valued in our culture? In clear, candid, and moving prose, Class grapples with these questions, offering a searing indictment of America’s educational system and an inspiring testimony of a mother’s triumph against all odds.
288 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 7, 2023
527 people are currently reading
40.4k people want to read
About the author
Stephanie Land
5Ìýbooks1,723ÌýfollowersStephanie Land is the instant bestselling author of "MAID: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive." Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Guardian, The Atlantic, and many other outlets. Her writing focuses on social and economic justice. Follow everywhere @stepville or stepville.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,634 reviews
August 31, 2023
As a reminder, this is how I track and share thoughts about my personal reading. This is not the NYTBR and we are not obligated to love every book we read.
I went into reading Class with great interest because I really enjoyed Maid. Land is a great writer, particularly when conveying the relentless nature of poverty and the systems that work against women, especially. What works well in Class is showing how challenging it is to be poor and a single parent. The loneliness and the hunger, both literal and metaphorical, are well conveyed. And affecting. The book is the most powerful when Land articulates how the rules can be so very different for the poor, how every choice is judged.
As she details the challenges she faces going to school and raising her daughter Emilia and having a life of her own, many readers will judge her choices. That’s what memoir does in part—it allows us to share our truths but it also opens those truths up to the judgments of strangers.
It’s important, I think, for readers to ask themselves why they would judge her choices. Poverty doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to make messy romantic choices. It doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to go to college or get a nice haircut. And so I also admired how this book will serve as quite the mirror for the inherent biases many people hold about who can do what and why.
Where the book falters is that at times, it feels like a recitation of things that happened without enough insight or context from the author. And I see this largely as an editorial problem. The book feels unfinished, rushed. There is at times a real lack of self-awareness which isn’t the end of the world. It happens to us all. But it does create some issues.
There is a line, toward the end, about how Land has no patience for friends she relies heavily on to let her down which, okay. Sure. But we don’t see any kind of reciprocity in her friendships. It’s only what she asks of her friends over and over. I don’t believe she isn’t a reciprocal friend but reciprocity doesn’t come across in the book. When I came to this line it was WILD. Which brings me back to the editorial issue. An outside perspective needs to point this out and ask her to take a pass at the manuscript to show that these are mutual relationships or else it comes across strangely. I keep thinking about it and just shaking my head.
This book is definitely worth reading especially if you enjoyed MAID. I just wished it had lived up to its potential but sophomore books are challenging, especially when you’ve had a wildly successful debut. I am eager to see what Land does next.
I went into reading Class with great interest because I really enjoyed Maid. Land is a great writer, particularly when conveying the relentless nature of poverty and the systems that work against women, especially. What works well in Class is showing how challenging it is to be poor and a single parent. The loneliness and the hunger, both literal and metaphorical, are well conveyed. And affecting. The book is the most powerful when Land articulates how the rules can be so very different for the poor, how every choice is judged.
As she details the challenges she faces going to school and raising her daughter Emilia and having a life of her own, many readers will judge her choices. That’s what memoir does in part—it allows us to share our truths but it also opens those truths up to the judgments of strangers.
It’s important, I think, for readers to ask themselves why they would judge her choices. Poverty doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to make messy romantic choices. It doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to go to college or get a nice haircut. And so I also admired how this book will serve as quite the mirror for the inherent biases many people hold about who can do what and why.
Where the book falters is that at times, it feels like a recitation of things that happened without enough insight or context from the author. And I see this largely as an editorial problem. The book feels unfinished, rushed. There is at times a real lack of self-awareness which isn’t the end of the world. It happens to us all. But it does create some issues.
There is a line, toward the end, about how Land has no patience for friends she relies heavily on to let her down which, okay. Sure. But we don’t see any kind of reciprocity in her friendships. It’s only what she asks of her friends over and over. I don’t believe she isn’t a reciprocal friend but reciprocity doesn’t come across in the book. When I came to this line it was WILD. Which brings me back to the editorial issue. An outside perspective needs to point this out and ask her to take a pass at the manuscript to show that these are mutual relationships or else it comes across strangely. I keep thinking about it and just shaking my head.
This book is definitely worth reading especially if you enjoyed MAID. I just wished it had lived up to its potential but sophomore books are challenging, especially when you’ve had a wildly successful debut. I am eager to see what Land does next.
June 4, 2023
I was SO excited to see this advance reader’s edition sitting on the shelf at work because I remember absolutely loving her first book, Maid, when I read it in 2020. Unfortunately this was a minimally enjoyable read for me.
I want to preface by saying that this book focuses on the author’s experience living through incredibly difficult circumstances that I don’t fully understand, and I think she does an incredible job in Maid of telling a gripping story about how fucking impossible it was to not only be a mother, but to generally survive through abuse and poverty. Unfortunately, I do not feel the same about this book.
I couldn’t stand reading about Land taking risk after risk, and then being SURPRISED when shit hit the fan. I often forgot I was reading the words of a 35-year-old and not a 21-year-old. It was giving teen motherhood gone wrong, at an age where motherhood is pretty standard. At one point, a friend expressed concern re: her decision-making, and she immediately concluded the friend was “condescending� and looking for a way to feel superior to Land’s low-income status. She immediately declared the friendship over, even after the friend was willing to chauffeur her around and babysit her child, but I was kinda sitting there in agreement with her friend.
I had a brief moment in the beginning where I loved the book because it IS fairly well-written and I admired her dedication to becoming a writer, but by 40% of the way through I was just reading for the sake of finishing. And boy was it unenjoyable! I simply had no words when she was lamenting about how she “felt like nobody wanted to have a baby with her� when:
a) she was consistently dating the most deadbeat men who were NEVER all that nice to her
b) she spent the whole book been talking about she could barely afford to feed and clothe the child she already had???? (!!!!????)
I just. I don’t know. I couldn’t make this into a coherent review on account of the fact I left the book feeling so beyond frustrated. That being said, I’d again like to point out that I have no fucking idea what it’s like to live in this type of poverty, so I’m hesitant to criticize her life choices. I can’t judge, but I also really took issue with the narration of this book.
I think Class deserves at least three stars because this is pretty clear/concise memoir writing, but I honestly hated it, so I’m giving it two.
(Would recommend Maid though!)
I want to preface by saying that this book focuses on the author’s experience living through incredibly difficult circumstances that I don’t fully understand, and I think she does an incredible job in Maid of telling a gripping story about how fucking impossible it was to not only be a mother, but to generally survive through abuse and poverty. Unfortunately, I do not feel the same about this book.
I couldn’t stand reading about Land taking risk after risk, and then being SURPRISED when shit hit the fan. I often forgot I was reading the words of a 35-year-old and not a 21-year-old. It was giving teen motherhood gone wrong, at an age where motherhood is pretty standard. At one point, a friend expressed concern re: her decision-making, and she immediately concluded the friend was “condescending� and looking for a way to feel superior to Land’s low-income status. She immediately declared the friendship over, even after the friend was willing to chauffeur her around and babysit her child, but I was kinda sitting there in agreement with her friend.
I had a brief moment in the beginning where I loved the book because it IS fairly well-written and I admired her dedication to becoming a writer, but by 40% of the way through I was just reading for the sake of finishing. And boy was it unenjoyable! I simply had no words when she was lamenting about how she “felt like nobody wanted to have a baby with her� when:
a) she was consistently dating the most deadbeat men who were NEVER all that nice to her
b) she spent the whole book been talking about she could barely afford to feed and clothe the child she already had???? (!!!!????)
I just. I don’t know. I couldn’t make this into a coherent review on account of the fact I left the book feeling so beyond frustrated. That being said, I’d again like to point out that I have no fucking idea what it’s like to live in this type of poverty, so I’m hesitant to criticize her life choices. I can’t judge, but I also really took issue with the narration of this book.
I think Class deserves at least three stars because this is pretty clear/concise memoir writing, but I honestly hated it, so I’m giving it two.
(Would recommend Maid though!)
August 10, 2023
TW: Language, abortion, classism, graphic sex scenes, child abandonment, abuse, toxic parent relationship, gaslighting, cheating
SPOILERS
About the book:Land takes us with her as she finishes college and pursues her writing career. Facing barriers at every turn including a byzantine loan system, not having enough money for food, navigating the judgments of professors and fellow students who didn’t understand the demands of attending college while under the poverty line—Land finds a way to survive once again, finally graduating in her mid-thirties.
Release Date: November 7th, 2023
Genre: Memoir
Pages: 288
Rating: â�
What I Liked:
1. The beginning
What I Didn't Like:
1. Graphic sex scene(s)
2. The book from page 50 and on
3. She's acting like the victim
Overall Thoughts:
I loved Maid and it was a 5 - star for me. I related to the story and devoured it.
Ah this book stated off so good. I was tabbing and underlining everything. The author had so much to say and she made me remember how hard life was to deal when going through all of this. Sadly what lost me was around page 48 where the author time and time again mentions how she'll leave her daughter with pretty much anyone that talks to her. She buys underage people beer as payment for watching her kid. She puts her daughter in these questionable circumstances and it made me mad. The book almost turns into this conquest of how many men can the author mention that she is sleeping with. She's very obtuse to the whole thing. I'd be questioning why all these men would want to watch my daughter.
As you continue to read on you pretty quickly lose the essence of what this book was going for, instead giving us a tell all about man after man that that the author is chasing next. At one point her ex is staying with her and she's off with another man who is seeing someone else. I lost all feelings of relatability with the author and my tabbing/highlighting got less and less. It all becames relentless - find random person to babysit, meet a man, ditch daughter - rinse and repeat.
Author writes in a tone where you almost forget we are reading about a woman that is in her mid 30s. I understand that being a single parent is stressful but her ex is a bum so she is stuck picking up the pieces, but there were times when it read like she didn't even want her daughter.
I am perplexed as to how the author says she struggled to even get food. She's going drinking at bars, concerts, and just hanging out doing whatever. I thought she was working all the time. When I read Maid that's how the author made it sound. I am really thinking that the person in that book is not the person in this one.
Timeline was confusing. In one section she mentions Kelly moving back and paying rent for that month, then another section Seth is picking up her daughter, so is Seth still living there when Kelly is?
The she gets mad at her friend for talking to her about the pregnancy. She's worried she can't do it. Author decides she doesn't need that negativity, which just sounded like someone was concerned. Not only that but everyone else is watching her daughter and I'd be worried to if someone pawned two kids off on me. As far as I'm concerned her friend is helping her in so many ways so she should have a say in things.
The author would say things that made me seriously question if she was old enough to understand the world - at 35. There's a part where they've taken away her food stamps and she says;
Well, yeah! How else would they know how much to give you?? People could just lie about how much they make and take from people that need the assistance.
The author is so delusional. She acts like she is the victim of everything and everyone is picking on her. She gets mad at her daughter's teacher because she cares that she isn't in school or is late. The author goes on to say;
I find it ironic that the author would make a huge deal out how important her own education is while pretty much not giving a shit about her own daughter's - saying what does it matter if she's late or misses days - I'm more important because I want to sleep or can't take the time to care about her.
Everything the author does for her kid just feels like the bare minimum. There are so many times she could get a real part time job that pays more so her and her daughter will have a little more stability but time and time again she would rather her daughter wear clothing that's too small and not even eat properly. There are SO many times where she should swallow her pride and try for her daughter. There's a part where she wants to go to the food bank but in the end says she doesn't deserve to go. What a weird thing to think; if it were for my kid I'd do anything if it meant they got food. Author just sounds like she's always just out to help herself and cares only about herself.
Author spends more time trying to get money off of her ex than actually getting a job that pays. She already get child support but she wants more money. I find it funny that on page 16 this happens;
And then on page 221;
Its funny because NOW she needs counseling after her child support is lowered and she wanted more - NOW her daughter needs to stop seeing her father and they need proof that the judge would side with. This woman will stop at nothing to get more money and do the less amount possible. Just because you are in college does not mean that other people - your childs parent should pay for you to do that. She also acts like she isn't playing the system working for cash because she knows they'll take her money out of her checks and she wouldn't get things from the government. I'm sure her daughter doesn't need counseling because her mom is always ditching her and leaving her with random people. Author even says her daughter acts out and I have to question if her daughter acts out because she always comes last.
Poor Sylvie is told she is a bad friend because she can't be one of the people on the list to help the author. Well, that's understandable because Sylvie has 4 kids - she can't just drop everything to help the author. That's the problem with the author. She expects everyone to understand her experiences but then when someone else can't do something they are branded a bad friend. The author is the bad friend. No matter what happen do for her she just expects it. She's always needing something. She now has 9 people on that list of people to help but she stops being friends with someone like a child because they can't do it. There is no way this author is 35.
Final Thoughts:
This book started off good. I was enthralled but that died off pretty quickly. Memoirs are always a tricky thing because you either come out loving the person or hating them. While I don't hate the author I just was bothered by her attitude that she deserved things just because she had a child.
Recommend For:
� Single moms
|
Thanks to Netgalley and Simon & Schuster for this advanced copy of the book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
SPOILERS
About the book:Land takes us with her as she finishes college and pursues her writing career. Facing barriers at every turn including a byzantine loan system, not having enough money for food, navigating the judgments of professors and fellow students who didn’t understand the demands of attending college while under the poverty line—Land finds a way to survive once again, finally graduating in her mid-thirties.
Release Date: November 7th, 2023
Genre: Memoir
Pages: 288
Rating: â�
What I Liked:
1. The beginning
What I Didn't Like:
1. Graphic sex scene(s)
2. The book from page 50 and on
3. She's acting like the victim
Overall Thoughts:
I loved Maid and it was a 5 - star for me. I related to the story and devoured it.
Ah this book stated off so good. I was tabbing and underlining everything. The author had so much to say and she made me remember how hard life was to deal when going through all of this. Sadly what lost me was around page 48 where the author time and time again mentions how she'll leave her daughter with pretty much anyone that talks to her. She buys underage people beer as payment for watching her kid. She puts her daughter in these questionable circumstances and it made me mad. The book almost turns into this conquest of how many men can the author mention that she is sleeping with. She's very obtuse to the whole thing. I'd be questioning why all these men would want to watch my daughter.
As you continue to read on you pretty quickly lose the essence of what this book was going for, instead giving us a tell all about man after man that that the author is chasing next. At one point her ex is staying with her and she's off with another man who is seeing someone else. I lost all feelings of relatability with the author and my tabbing/highlighting got less and less. It all becames relentless - find random person to babysit, meet a man, ditch daughter - rinse and repeat.
Author writes in a tone where you almost forget we are reading about a woman that is in her mid 30s. I understand that being a single parent is stressful but her ex is a bum so she is stuck picking up the pieces, but there were times when it read like she didn't even want her daughter.
I am perplexed as to how the author says she struggled to even get food. She's going drinking at bars, concerts, and just hanging out doing whatever. I thought she was working all the time. When I read Maid that's how the author made it sound. I am really thinking that the person in that book is not the person in this one.
Timeline was confusing. In one section she mentions Kelly moving back and paying rent for that month, then another section Seth is picking up her daughter, so is Seth still living there when Kelly is?
The she gets mad at her friend for talking to her about the pregnancy. She's worried she can't do it. Author decides she doesn't need that negativity, which just sounded like someone was concerned. Not only that but everyone else is watching her daughter and I'd be worried to if someone pawned two kids off on me. As far as I'm concerned her friend is helping her in so many ways so she should have a say in things.
The author would say things that made me seriously question if she was old enough to understand the world - at 35. There's a part where they've taken away her food stamps and she says;
"My value, it seemed, was entirely based on whether or not I worked at a job that could be verified with a real pay stub."
Well, yeah! How else would they know how much to give you?? People could just lie about how much they make and take from people that need the assistance.
The author is so delusional. She acts like she is the victim of everything and everyone is picking on her. She gets mad at her daughter's teacher because she cares that she isn't in school or is late. The author goes on to say;
"Tardiness three times in one month didn’t seem like a big deal for a new kindergartner and her parent trying to get everyone used to a new routine."
I find it ironic that the author would make a huge deal out how important her own education is while pretty much not giving a shit about her own daughter's - saying what does it matter if she's late or misses days - I'm more important because I want to sleep or can't take the time to care about her.
Everything the author does for her kid just feels like the bare minimum. There are so many times she could get a real part time job that pays more so her and her daughter will have a little more stability but time and time again she would rather her daughter wear clothing that's too small and not even eat properly. There are SO many times where she should swallow her pride and try for her daughter. There's a part where she wants to go to the food bank but in the end says she doesn't deserve to go. What a weird thing to think; if it were for my kid I'd do anything if it meant they got food. Author just sounds like she's always just out to help herself and cares only about herself.
Author spends more time trying to get money off of her ex than actually getting a job that pays. She already get child support but she wants more money. I find it funny that on page 16 this happens;
"“Does he pay child support ?� she asked, and I nodded. “Well, if he has less visitation, then he owes more in support. It’s that simple.�
And then on page 221;
"Emilia had never been to a therapist before, and part of the reason I felt it was so important now was to document what I suspected was emotional abuse that my daughter experienced. Though difficult, I knew the therapy sessions would be necessary if I wanted to modify our parenting plan."
Its funny because NOW she needs counseling after her child support is lowered and she wanted more - NOW her daughter needs to stop seeing her father and they need proof that the judge would side with. This woman will stop at nothing to get more money and do the less amount possible. Just because you are in college does not mean that other people - your childs parent should pay for you to do that. She also acts like she isn't playing the system working for cash because she knows they'll take her money out of her checks and she wouldn't get things from the government. I'm sure her daughter doesn't need counseling because her mom is always ditching her and leaving her with random people. Author even says her daughter acts out and I have to question if her daughter acts out because she always comes last.
Poor Sylvie is told she is a bad friend because she can't be one of the people on the list to help the author. Well, that's understandable because Sylvie has 4 kids - she can't just drop everything to help the author. That's the problem with the author. She expects everyone to understand her experiences but then when someone else can't do something they are branded a bad friend. The author is the bad friend. No matter what happen do for her she just expects it. She's always needing something. She now has 9 people on that list of people to help but she stops being friends with someone like a child because they can't do it. There is no way this author is 35.
Final Thoughts:
This book started off good. I was enthralled but that died off pretty quickly. Memoirs are always a tricky thing because you either come out loving the person or hating them. While I don't hate the author I just was bothered by her attitude that she deserved things just because she had a child.
Recommend For:
� Single moms
|
Thanks to Netgalley and Simon & Schuster for this advanced copy of the book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
March 5, 2025
Ugh! This was a chore to get through for two reasons: the aimless narrative and the limited viewpoint Stephanie displays.
Having recently listened to Maid, I once again find that the author starts strong with her perspective on social support programs. But then the writing shifts and bogs down with her time in college, the classes she took, the instructors she had, and her personal (sex) life.
Listening to Stephanie's story, I thought she came across as entitled and wanting special privileges. She never realizes that we're all jumping through the same hoops. We all struggle in some way, we all have something in our lives that makes it harder - a child or children, medical limitations, medical bills, helping out family with expenses, and much more. I'm not sure she realizes that her child opened up the availability of benefits that others also needed and would have benefitted from but would never qualify for because they were just one person. But rent and utilities are no cheaper for one without a small child than they are for someone with. Many people also struggle to afford fresh produce and meat, this is not unique to her. In 2012 she spent more on groceries per month than I did for the same size household, except I had two adults. The little things add up -- lunch on campus was a luxury, not a necessity. A sandwich brought from home saves money that could have been used on other things.
She does admit to some assumptions like when she thought (all) parents paid for college for their kids but I'm not sure if she extrapolated out further to the fact that parents do not have to help their children. Some don't want to, some can't afford to, none HAVE to. She also assumed that everything would be the same in Missoula as it was in Oregon, and even after her misjudgments, I wasn't sure if she could accept differences and move forward in a constructive way. She also speaks about scammers, and wrongly believes people are not duplicitous enough to abuse social support programs. Her naivete shows, she does not know the extent of scammers. Yes, they will sit in a government office for hours to get something handed to them for free. There are more than people realize and they work and think in many different ways than other people. I will take a step back and say that maybe it's not always an intentional scam, but a different way of looking at things that people believe to be right and justified even when it doesn't fall within the program guidelines.
In the end, what did Stephanie learn? Once again, like her first book, I am left wondering what the point was. She shared things that seemed more diary-like than intentional reference, and was often stuff I didn't want or need to know about her life. She seemed to want to share her choices and decisions, thus opening up those things to critique, but then takes issue with and has no tolerance for concern trolling, which she sees as insincere. She has no empathy, no trust, no ability to see it from another perspective, she judges others based on her own assumptions, often placing words in their mouths that they never said, yet can't stand when others judge her. Hypocritical much?
She mentions bad decisions she supposedly made and is offended that others are questioning some of her decisions. She did have the right to have a baby, to have an education, to have enough food, but others have the right to the same things and to expect not to have to pay for someone else to have their own individual choices. This is a greater problem than she has realized. She has to work to improve her situation, not wait for others to work to do so. This is the biggest thing I took away: Stephanie sees life as something one does only with help, rather than something you do on your own. Success only comes with help, no one can do it on their own, and certainly shouldn't even try. I can understand the community mentality, but each person also bears a responsibility and a role within their own life, family unit, and community.
In the acknowledgments she share a bit of the intent behind Maid and Class. In Maid, her purpose was to dismantle stigmas surrounding single mothers, and in Class she wanted to share a story like hers, one of struggles, and to show each of us is not alone. It is hard to see what she learned from her struggles, and from the process of writing these two books. I think she was successful in sharing her story, but less so in dismantling stigmas, and even less so in effecting real change which I believe was her ultimate goal.
Despite not caring for her biographical exposition, I can extend a conciliatory gesture. I can sympathize with some of her feelings and preconceptions; we all see the world in different ways, and we all need to take that into consideration when working with others.
Having recently listened to Maid, I once again find that the author starts strong with her perspective on social support programs. But then the writing shifts and bogs down with her time in college, the classes she took, the instructors she had, and her personal (sex) life.
Listening to Stephanie's story, I thought she came across as entitled and wanting special privileges. She never realizes that we're all jumping through the same hoops. We all struggle in some way, we all have something in our lives that makes it harder - a child or children, medical limitations, medical bills, helping out family with expenses, and much more. I'm not sure she realizes that her child opened up the availability of benefits that others also needed and would have benefitted from but would never qualify for because they were just one person. But rent and utilities are no cheaper for one without a small child than they are for someone with. Many people also struggle to afford fresh produce and meat, this is not unique to her. In 2012 she spent more on groceries per month than I did for the same size household, except I had two adults. The little things add up -- lunch on campus was a luxury, not a necessity. A sandwich brought from home saves money that could have been used on other things.
She does admit to some assumptions like when she thought (all) parents paid for college for their kids but I'm not sure if she extrapolated out further to the fact that parents do not have to help their children. Some don't want to, some can't afford to, none HAVE to. She also assumed that everything would be the same in Missoula as it was in Oregon, and even after her misjudgments, I wasn't sure if she could accept differences and move forward in a constructive way. She also speaks about scammers, and wrongly believes people are not duplicitous enough to abuse social support programs. Her naivete shows, she does not know the extent of scammers. Yes, they will sit in a government office for hours to get something handed to them for free. There are more than people realize and they work and think in many different ways than other people. I will take a step back and say that maybe it's not always an intentional scam, but a different way of looking at things that people believe to be right and justified even when it doesn't fall within the program guidelines.
In the end, what did Stephanie learn? Once again, like her first book, I am left wondering what the point was. She shared things that seemed more diary-like than intentional reference, and was often stuff I didn't want or need to know about her life. She seemed to want to share her choices and decisions, thus opening up those things to critique, but then takes issue with and has no tolerance for concern trolling, which she sees as insincere. She has no empathy, no trust, no ability to see it from another perspective, she judges others based on her own assumptions, often placing words in their mouths that they never said, yet can't stand when others judge her. Hypocritical much?
She mentions bad decisions she supposedly made and is offended that others are questioning some of her decisions. She did have the right to have a baby, to have an education, to have enough food, but others have the right to the same things and to expect not to have to pay for someone else to have their own individual choices. This is a greater problem than she has realized. She has to work to improve her situation, not wait for others to work to do so. This is the biggest thing I took away: Stephanie sees life as something one does only with help, rather than something you do on your own. Success only comes with help, no one can do it on their own, and certainly shouldn't even try. I can understand the community mentality, but each person also bears a responsibility and a role within their own life, family unit, and community.
In the acknowledgments she share a bit of the intent behind Maid and Class. In Maid, her purpose was to dismantle stigmas surrounding single mothers, and in Class she wanted to share a story like hers, one of struggles, and to show each of us is not alone. It is hard to see what she learned from her struggles, and from the process of writing these two books. I think she was successful in sharing her story, but less so in dismantling stigmas, and even less so in effecting real change which I believe was her ultimate goal.
Despite not caring for her biographical exposition, I can extend a conciliatory gesture. I can sympathize with some of her feelings and preconceptions; we all see the world in different ways, and we all need to take that into consideration when working with others.
September 16, 2024
This book is the memoir of a 35 yr old white unmarried undergrad with an uninvolved baby daddy and a 6 year old daughter. The writing is top-notch but the situations play out like a cautionary tale. It is especially annoying to me to read about the author blaming society for her own bad life choices. As a Latina I found my self shaking my head. I kept wondering, "my family has been in this country for about as long as Stephanie has been alive, how is it that we know more about avoiding the financial and situational pitfalls she so willingly falls into time and time again?" Why doesn't she know better? Yet this book shows us that 8.2% of white Americans fall below the poverty line, and better yet why.
She spends so much of the book talking about a ridiculous MFA, which she thinks will make her a real writer. I was also an English major for undergrad, and while the professors talked about how wonderful MFA's are, to me it seems like a lot of navel-gazing and a waste of 50,000. She is a great writer and that is the strength here. It am not convinced that she needed that useless degree. And she's pretty naive if she thought she couldn't get a job as a receptionist without it. I'm tempted to quote Good Will Hunting “You wasted $150,000 on an education you coulda got for $1.50 in late fees at the public library.� As far as I am convinced, all her degree got her was connections in the publishing world which she also could have gotten if she had spent some time researching them on the internet.
The content.... the retelling of her experiences having one girl, two abortions and one baby and a dog she can't afford. Lack of contraception, health care, good nutrition, meal planning skills.... This girl had no home training. I get that her mom was an absentee parent and her father was kind of checked out but she if only she could have known the language to ask her teachers or guidance counselors for help... oh wait, she did speak the language. She was smart. She could have asked for help in high school. Her choice of friends and men is equal to plenty of friends who are total dirt bags. It is a miracle her good writing has taken her out of poverty and hopefully her writing can stay ahead of her poor life choices. If that sounds judgy it kind of is. This is my unbiased review. As a Latina I am hard on the white poor in this country when they are like her. She has lived an experience that just by the longevity of her family's tenure in this country she ought to have avoided simple because she ought to have known better. Its is not as though she were one of my clients, new to this country, still trying to figure out laws and customs. She had a library card, she had teachers. She could have done a myriad of other things than what she did. It's kind of Miraculous that it worked out for her.
The content was 3 stars, the writing was 5. This equals 4 stars. I wish the author the best. This is my honest review.
She spends so much of the book talking about a ridiculous MFA, which she thinks will make her a real writer. I was also an English major for undergrad, and while the professors talked about how wonderful MFA's are, to me it seems like a lot of navel-gazing and a waste of 50,000. She is a great writer and that is the strength here. It am not convinced that she needed that useless degree. And she's pretty naive if she thought she couldn't get a job as a receptionist without it. I'm tempted to quote Good Will Hunting “You wasted $150,000 on an education you coulda got for $1.50 in late fees at the public library.� As far as I am convinced, all her degree got her was connections in the publishing world which she also could have gotten if she had spent some time researching them on the internet.
The content.... the retelling of her experiences having one girl, two abortions and one baby and a dog she can't afford. Lack of contraception, health care, good nutrition, meal planning skills.... This girl had no home training. I get that her mom was an absentee parent and her father was kind of checked out but she if only she could have known the language to ask her teachers or guidance counselors for help... oh wait, she did speak the language. She was smart. She could have asked for help in high school. Her choice of friends and men is equal to plenty of friends who are total dirt bags. It is a miracle her good writing has taken her out of poverty and hopefully her writing can stay ahead of her poor life choices. If that sounds judgy it kind of is. This is my unbiased review. As a Latina I am hard on the white poor in this country when they are like her. She has lived an experience that just by the longevity of her family's tenure in this country she ought to have avoided simple because she ought to have known better. Its is not as though she were one of my clients, new to this country, still trying to figure out laws and customs. She had a library card, she had teachers. She could have done a myriad of other things than what she did. It's kind of Miraculous that it worked out for her.
The content was 3 stars, the writing was 5. This equals 4 stars. I wish the author the best. This is my honest review.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 31, 2023
I was curious how Land would follow up her debut, Maid, which was a bookstagram darling when it came out in 2019. I admit that I wasn't the biggest fan of that book because I did not like Land's victimhood mentality or her whiny voice. Sadly, this book was an extension of both of those things. For whatever reason, Land has a tendancy to come across as immature and does not trigger my sypathetic feelings at all.
In this extension of her story, Land is now a 35-year-old woman with a child who moves to Montana to get her BA in English. Throughout the book, she relays the challenges and complications that go along with single parenting, low income, and juggling work with a school schedule. All of those things are valid issues and I wanted to root for her. But overwhelmingly, some of her hardships came from her terrible decision making.
I would have liked more commentary on her thesis - Class - but there isn't much here regarding that topic. Many of Land's personal choices make her life what it is - this book relays those choices, but doesn't really add anything to a conversation about Class in America. I found that alone to be a disappointment for my overall feelings towards the book.
A minor, but constant, complaint of hers is how tired she is being a single parent. But then in the next sentence she whines about wanting a babysitter so she can go out and party. The woman is 35 years old...and being nearly the same age, I was just confused as to why partying is still so important to her. I also cringed at how freely she would leave her daughter with literally anyone...as long as she could get her break to go to a party. She didn't vet these people - just dumped her kid on them and hoped for the best!
I don't want to discount the trials Land goes through. I think her situation would be very hard, but the way she relays her story just doesn't translate on paper. She's irritating in her decisions and priorities and doesn't seem capable of making good choices.
Her debut story, Maid, was made into a Netflix series which was EXCELLENT! It was this series that made me decide to give her a second chance, but after reading Class, I think I can safely say Land isn't an author for me.
In this extension of her story, Land is now a 35-year-old woman with a child who moves to Montana to get her BA in English. Throughout the book, she relays the challenges and complications that go along with single parenting, low income, and juggling work with a school schedule. All of those things are valid issues and I wanted to root for her. But overwhelmingly, some of her hardships came from her terrible decision making.
I would have liked more commentary on her thesis - Class - but there isn't much here regarding that topic. Many of Land's personal choices make her life what it is - this book relays those choices, but doesn't really add anything to a conversation about Class in America. I found that alone to be a disappointment for my overall feelings towards the book.
A minor, but constant, complaint of hers is how tired she is being a single parent. But then in the next sentence she whines about wanting a babysitter so she can go out and party. The woman is 35 years old...and being nearly the same age, I was just confused as to why partying is still so important to her. I also cringed at how freely she would leave her daughter with literally anyone...as long as she could get her break to go to a party. She didn't vet these people - just dumped her kid on them and hoped for the best!
I don't want to discount the trials Land goes through. I think her situation would be very hard, but the way she relays her story just doesn't translate on paper. She's irritating in her decisions and priorities and doesn't seem capable of making good choices.
Her debut story, Maid, was made into a Netflix series which was EXCELLENT! It was this series that made me decide to give her a second chance, but after reading Class, I think I can safely say Land isn't an author for me.
September 11, 2023
"Class" is a memoir that shares the experiences of author Stephanie Land as a struggling single mother living in poverty. It is a follow up to the New York Times bestseller “Maid,� which became a limited series on Netflix. While this new memoir does shed light on the challenges faced by many women in similar situations, it is hard to fully empathize with Land due to the choices she makes throughout the book.
Throughout "Class," the author repeatedly finds herself in difficult situations, often as a result of impulsive decisions and a lack of long-term planning. Her willingness to engage in risky behaviors, like accepting rides from strangers or dating men who offer little stability, raises questions about her judgment and priorities. It is very hard to feel sympathy for someone whose choices continuously seem to compound her struggles, rather than making her life better.
I often found the narrative self-indulgent and lacking in self-awareness. It felt like the author downplayed her own agency in the circumstances of her life, often choosing to blame her hardships on external forces instead of acknowledging her own role in shaping her fate. This lack of introspection made it difficult for me to fully connect with her and her story.
While the memoir does help readers learn more about the issues and inequalities that people face when living in poverty, the author’s own bad choices overshadow the broader social commentary. I found myself questioning whether the vast amounts of empathy she has been given for her situation is actually warranted, given what seems to be her failure to learn from her mistakes, or to take more proactive steps to improve life for herself and her daughter.
Throughout "Class," the author repeatedly finds herself in difficult situations, often as a result of impulsive decisions and a lack of long-term planning. Her willingness to engage in risky behaviors, like accepting rides from strangers or dating men who offer little stability, raises questions about her judgment and priorities. It is very hard to feel sympathy for someone whose choices continuously seem to compound her struggles, rather than making her life better.
I often found the narrative self-indulgent and lacking in self-awareness. It felt like the author downplayed her own agency in the circumstances of her life, often choosing to blame her hardships on external forces instead of acknowledging her own role in shaping her fate. This lack of introspection made it difficult for me to fully connect with her and her story.
While the memoir does help readers learn more about the issues and inequalities that people face when living in poverty, the author’s own bad choices overshadow the broader social commentary. I found myself questioning whether the vast amounts of empathy she has been given for her situation is actually warranted, given what seems to be her failure to learn from her mistakes, or to take more proactive steps to improve life for herself and her daughter.
November 15, 2023
This is enraging! As someone from the town where Class takes place, a former UM student and also as a former single Mom...this book is NOT true. The way she speaks of former professors by name, and accuses them of horrible things...wrong, and completely not true. This book is victim 101. If you would like to read a book about a 35 year old sex addict and crap mom...this is your book. Stephanie Land clearly has Borderline Personality Disorder and somehow won the book lottery. Don't waste your time, and do not give anyone like this your money. This is a book about someone who makes one stupid decision after another and then wants others to clean up her shit show. It's like listening to an 8th grader bitch because they have to do homework (also the writing is on an 8th grade level)
December 8, 2023
3.5 stars rounded up
Taking place where Maid ended, Class is the personal memoir of Stephanie Land and her time at college in Missoula. After leaving behind her abusive ex and starting fresh at college in a new state, Land is still struggling to raise her daughter and attend school at the same time. Child support and food stamps are not enough, and Land faces new hardships while working to make a better life for her and her child.
I really loved the book Maid, it's one of my favorite nonfiction books. Class is similar and yet different from its first book. Land is an excellent writer and has a way of drawing in her readers with her stories. It definitely was hard for me to understand some of Land's choices in her new life. Yes, she worked really hard and earned every great thing that came her way. I had a hard time reading why Land let go of some friendships seemingly so easily, I don't think as a reader we got enough context. And there were many different men mentioned, to the point I lost track of who was who.
But what makes this book is the little moments: where someone was kind when they didn't have to be, getting ice cream with her daughter, a trip to the hair salon. I can find myself getting choked up at certain moments when listening. If Land writes more about her life, I am seated and ready to read it. She writes what not many people are writing and I very much enjoy her stories.
Taking place where Maid ended, Class is the personal memoir of Stephanie Land and her time at college in Missoula. After leaving behind her abusive ex and starting fresh at college in a new state, Land is still struggling to raise her daughter and attend school at the same time. Child support and food stamps are not enough, and Land faces new hardships while working to make a better life for her and her child.
I really loved the book Maid, it's one of my favorite nonfiction books. Class is similar and yet different from its first book. Land is an excellent writer and has a way of drawing in her readers with her stories. It definitely was hard for me to understand some of Land's choices in her new life. Yes, she worked really hard and earned every great thing that came her way. I had a hard time reading why Land let go of some friendships seemingly so easily, I don't think as a reader we got enough context. And there were many different men mentioned, to the point I lost track of who was who.
But what makes this book is the little moments: where someone was kind when they didn't have to be, getting ice cream with her daughter, a trip to the hair salon. I can find myself getting choked up at certain moments when listening. If Land writes more about her life, I am seated and ready to read it. She writes what not many people are writing and I very much enjoy her stories.
November 16, 2023
2.5 but rounded down. This was a compelling read in the sense that I wanted to keep reading to find out what would happen next. However, this read as if it was written in a hurry, and I guess that turned out to be true. Structurally, the chronology was difficult to follow (at times there are flashbacks within flashbacks that just come across as clunky). Once she finds out she's pregnant, this book really goes off the rails in a not great way.
I always say this when I review memoirs--particularly those by women--but I never judge a narrator's actions as long as there's self awareness on the page. This was my big problem with Class: it's significantly lacking.
When the narrator becomes unexpectedly pregnant, one of her only friends mentioned by name asks Land questions about her decision to keep the baby. This, apparently, is unacceptable "concern trolling." There is nothing in the text to suggest this friend was anything other than sincere. We're told in the first pages of this book that Sylvie, a different friend, who drives Land to Oregon and Idaho, isn't someone she considers to be a "close" friend. Yet Land apparently becomes enraged when Sylvie ( a mother of four, it should be pointed out) can't commit to being on call as Land's due date approaches. The impression readers are left of is that she's a terrible, self-centered friend who somehow holds friends to a standard she'd never come close to approaching.
Other reviews mention the partying and men, but I didn't think this was as bad as those reviews indicated. All I really have to say about that is . . . it's really weird that she seems to want a baby, at least initially, more as a way of binding herself to a dude--any dude--rather than because she wants to experience motherhood again. These guys in the picture are best classified as friends with benefits, which makes it especially strange that she's somehow surprised when they're not exactly eager at the prospect of having a baby with her. That doesn't excuse the verbal abuse she receives from Daniel, though.
Then there's the weird thread about the U of M MFA. First, I doubt this topic is even interesting to anyone who doesn't have an MFA or an interest in getting one. It's unclear why she felt so frankly entitled to getting into this highly selective, top-ranked program when it seemed like she was aware that the professors she would have worked with didn't actually seem to like her or her writing that much--and she didn't seem to like them either. Ye Land seemed to expect that their opinion of her as a student (and yes, as a person, too) wouldn't impact the committee's decision. There are many worthy conversations to be had about how MFA programs, even fully funded ones, are lacking in diversity and cater to those with outside financial support, but that wasn't what Land really does here. Instead, it feels much pettier and personal.
Land laments at several points that the English degree did nothing to prepare students for actual careers or demystify the publishing process--a fair complaint that should have been fleshed out. But Land is guilty of the same thing in this book. There's no hint of how she landed a book deal, which would have provided a life-changing amount of money. Even if the book didn't go that far in the future, instead of describing the first few months postpartum--giving readers a glimpse into what life was like on a daily basis; what Land did for money and if she used her degree; and how the financial issues raised here played out--we're given . . . nothing. It just ends with the birth of her second child, and it feels unearned and evasive. Maybe there's a third book that will address some of the things I wanted to know more about here, but I'm not sure I'll have the energy to read it unless Land becomes more self aware on the page.
I always say this when I review memoirs--particularly those by women--but I never judge a narrator's actions as long as there's self awareness on the page. This was my big problem with Class: it's significantly lacking.
When the narrator becomes unexpectedly pregnant, one of her only friends mentioned by name asks Land questions about her decision to keep the baby. This, apparently, is unacceptable "concern trolling." There is nothing in the text to suggest this friend was anything other than sincere. We're told in the first pages of this book that Sylvie, a different friend, who drives Land to Oregon and Idaho, isn't someone she considers to be a "close" friend. Yet Land apparently becomes enraged when Sylvie ( a mother of four, it should be pointed out) can't commit to being on call as Land's due date approaches. The impression readers are left of is that she's a terrible, self-centered friend who somehow holds friends to a standard she'd never come close to approaching.
Other reviews mention the partying and men, but I didn't think this was as bad as those reviews indicated. All I really have to say about that is . . . it's really weird that she seems to want a baby, at least initially, more as a way of binding herself to a dude--any dude--rather than because she wants to experience motherhood again. These guys in the picture are best classified as friends with benefits, which makes it especially strange that she's somehow surprised when they're not exactly eager at the prospect of having a baby with her. That doesn't excuse the verbal abuse she receives from Daniel, though.
Then there's the weird thread about the U of M MFA. First, I doubt this topic is even interesting to anyone who doesn't have an MFA or an interest in getting one. It's unclear why she felt so frankly entitled to getting into this highly selective, top-ranked program when it seemed like she was aware that the professors she would have worked with didn't actually seem to like her or her writing that much--and she didn't seem to like them either. Ye Land seemed to expect that their opinion of her as a student (and yes, as a person, too) wouldn't impact the committee's decision. There are many worthy conversations to be had about how MFA programs, even fully funded ones, are lacking in diversity and cater to those with outside financial support, but that wasn't what Land really does here. Instead, it feels much pettier and personal.
Land laments at several points that the English degree did nothing to prepare students for actual careers or demystify the publishing process--a fair complaint that should have been fleshed out. But Land is guilty of the same thing in this book. There's no hint of how she landed a book deal, which would have provided a life-changing amount of money. Even if the book didn't go that far in the future, instead of describing the first few months postpartum--giving readers a glimpse into what life was like on a daily basis; what Land did for money and if she used her degree; and how the financial issues raised here played out--we're given . . . nothing. It just ends with the birth of her second child, and it feels unearned and evasive. Maybe there's a third book that will address some of the things I wanted to know more about here, but I'm not sure I'll have the energy to read it unless Land becomes more self aware on the page.
August 18, 2023
**I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review.
I honestly think people are missing the point of this book. People living at the poverty line are still allowed to have hopes and dreams, as Stephanie Land did with her MFA, but a lot of the other reviews criticize her for taking too many risks or being selfish. Being able to live a life free of risk (or taking calculated risk) is a privilege afforded to people with money. Security is a privilege when it should be a right, and Land was working hard to make that happen for herself.
The story is emotional and really kept me turning the pages. As a higher education professional, this is a must read. Anyone who claims to cultivate inclusive university environments needs to take notes on how to keep doing better.
I really enjoyed this book and it was a quick read for me. I’m rating it a 5 to offset the negative reviews.
I honestly think people are missing the point of this book. People living at the poverty line are still allowed to have hopes and dreams, as Stephanie Land did with her MFA, but a lot of the other reviews criticize her for taking too many risks or being selfish. Being able to live a life free of risk (or taking calculated risk) is a privilege afforded to people with money. Security is a privilege when it should be a right, and Land was working hard to make that happen for herself.
The story is emotional and really kept me turning the pages. As a higher education professional, this is a must read. Anyone who claims to cultivate inclusive university environments needs to take notes on how to keep doing better.
I really enjoyed this book and it was a quick read for me. I’m rating it a 5 to offset the negative reviews.
March 18, 2024
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you're stupid and make bad choices.
probable spoilers occur below this line
I tagged this as "memoirs" but it might fit the fiction section just as well. There's definitely a demographic who would believe every bit of this, while others are a tad more skeptical.
If everyone around you is the problem, then maybe you're the problem. Stephanie's dad is an asshole for not giving her money. Her mom is an asshole for moving to France with her second husband. Her aunt is an asshole for not giving her money. (For fuck's sake, Stephanie, you're 30+ years old!) The university counselors are assholes for requiring her to be a Montana resident before letting her get in-state tuition. Her (first) babydaddy is an abusive asshole, as is every single guy she gets involved with, unless he provides free babysitting. Her friends are all assholes, even though she views her relationships as transactionally as they do. This one professor, who she names, is an asshole because she chose someone else for a fellowship instead of Stephanie, even though Stephanie admits she didn't meet the qualifications. Another professor is a "creep" when he helps her revise a paper describing sexual encounters. A friend of Stephanie's, who drove 1000 miles round-trip to pick up Stephanie's child from Portland, gets cut off because she's unable to volunteer to take Stephanie to the birth center (this is not a last-minute cop-out, either).
I read Maid a few years ago, thought it was a crock of bull, and had no intention of reading this one, but circumstances conspired to put me and this book in a room with a dearth of other entertainment options, so there you go. It's terrible. From page 2, Stephanie is a victim. She revels in her victimhood. She glories in her victimhood. She neglects her own child and a completely unnecessary dog while she wallows in self-pity that nobody wants to marry a broke 34-year-old with an illegitimate kindergartener, no degree, no full-time job, and no accounting for what happened during the years when a person most typically goes to college (ages 18-25). Nothing is ever her fault. The one time in the whole book where she takes responsibility for anything is when there's a minor scheduling snafu with her daughter and a babysitter. That's it. *Everything* else is someone else's fault. There's no reflection, no self-examination, no honest look at her predicament and how she might have caused or contributed to it. At one point, she alludes to having "complex PTSD" but she comes off to me like someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, especially when she mentions the relationship with her first babydaddy.
Also, she's inefficient and woefully incompetent, likely on purpose. I noticed this in Maid, too, where instead of actually working, she'd spend hours and hours commuting, not getting paid, rather than setting up a schedule where she'd see proximal clients on the same day. Rather than getting a full-time job and securing child care, then going to college part-time once her kid was school-aged or full-time once she'd built a financial buffer, she decides to live on grants, loan proceeds, public assistance, and a few bucks from cleaning a couple of houses while constantly bitching about how poor she is and how "privileged" her fellow students are. She goes into depression once her daughter enters school full-time, because the state expects her to be able to work a whopping 20 hours per week and cuts her food stamps accordingly. (I actually wonder if she didn't accidentally-on-purpose get pregnant in order to restart the WIC clock, though that's an admittedly cynical take, even for me. Timeline checks out tho.)
I hate to point out that all of her problems are of her own making, but when you're in a hole, the general advice is to Stop Digging. Don't get a pet if you can't afford a pet. Don't go to school for a degree in a low-value subject when you have a small child to feed. Certainly don't attempt to get a master's degree in a low-value subject to increase your marketability. Get a damned job. There are a lot of jobs that are compatible with a school schedule, especially in a college town, but she never makes the slightest effort to find one. (She whines about the family court judge calling her out for "voluntary underemployment" when she's trying to demand more child support from the babydaddy.)
The child neglect really got me, though it's subtly recounted. There's a scene where she returns home to her 6-year-old daughter topless with a man, and the same child understands the mechanics and purpose of sexual intercourse. She packs child off to spend the night or the weekend with casual acquaintances so that she can go out partying. Child completely comes apart after visiting her father, and it's clear to the reader that she is experiencing parental alienation from at least one parent but more likely both. Stephanie has a string of roommates (both male and female) that she gives breaks on the rent to for watching her kid, and buys beer for underage neighbors in exchange for childminding. The daughter has ongoing problems at school, but they're not recounted to the reader other than an admission that she's occasionally tardy and that she sometimes speaks out of turn. The child has an extremely limited palate because her mother won't risk buying new foods in case the daughter doesn't like them.
I will say that I'm looking forward to reading Emilia's memoir. She's almost 17 years old, and might have a very different story to tell about her childhood than the one that her mother recounts.
probable spoilers occur below this line
I tagged this as "memoirs" but it might fit the fiction section just as well. There's definitely a demographic who would believe every bit of this, while others are a tad more skeptical.
If everyone around you is the problem, then maybe you're the problem. Stephanie's dad is an asshole for not giving her money. Her mom is an asshole for moving to France with her second husband. Her aunt is an asshole for not giving her money. (For fuck's sake, Stephanie, you're 30+ years old!) The university counselors are assholes for requiring her to be a Montana resident before letting her get in-state tuition. Her (first) babydaddy is an abusive asshole, as is every single guy she gets involved with, unless he provides free babysitting. Her friends are all assholes, even though she views her relationships as transactionally as they do. This one professor, who she names, is an asshole because she chose someone else for a fellowship instead of Stephanie, even though Stephanie admits she didn't meet the qualifications. Another professor is a "creep" when he helps her revise a paper describing sexual encounters. A friend of Stephanie's, who drove 1000 miles round-trip to pick up Stephanie's child from Portland, gets cut off because she's unable to volunteer to take Stephanie to the birth center (this is not a last-minute cop-out, either).
I read Maid a few years ago, thought it was a crock of bull, and had no intention of reading this one, but circumstances conspired to put me and this book in a room with a dearth of other entertainment options, so there you go. It's terrible. From page 2, Stephanie is a victim. She revels in her victimhood. She glories in her victimhood. She neglects her own child and a completely unnecessary dog while she wallows in self-pity that nobody wants to marry a broke 34-year-old with an illegitimate kindergartener, no degree, no full-time job, and no accounting for what happened during the years when a person most typically goes to college (ages 18-25). Nothing is ever her fault. The one time in the whole book where she takes responsibility for anything is when there's a minor scheduling snafu with her daughter and a babysitter. That's it. *Everything* else is someone else's fault. There's no reflection, no self-examination, no honest look at her predicament and how she might have caused or contributed to it. At one point, she alludes to having "complex PTSD" but she comes off to me like someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, especially when she mentions the relationship with her first babydaddy.
Also, she's inefficient and woefully incompetent, likely on purpose. I noticed this in Maid, too, where instead of actually working, she'd spend hours and hours commuting, not getting paid, rather than setting up a schedule where she'd see proximal clients on the same day. Rather than getting a full-time job and securing child care, then going to college part-time once her kid was school-aged or full-time once she'd built a financial buffer, she decides to live on grants, loan proceeds, public assistance, and a few bucks from cleaning a couple of houses while constantly bitching about how poor she is and how "privileged" her fellow students are. She goes into depression once her daughter enters school full-time, because the state expects her to be able to work a whopping 20 hours per week and cuts her food stamps accordingly. (I actually wonder if she didn't accidentally-on-purpose get pregnant in order to restart the WIC clock, though that's an admittedly cynical take, even for me. Timeline checks out tho.)
I hate to point out that all of her problems are of her own making, but when you're in a hole, the general advice is to Stop Digging. Don't get a pet if you can't afford a pet. Don't go to school for a degree in a low-value subject when you have a small child to feed. Certainly don't attempt to get a master's degree in a low-value subject to increase your marketability. Get a damned job. There are a lot of jobs that are compatible with a school schedule, especially in a college town, but she never makes the slightest effort to find one. (She whines about the family court judge calling her out for "voluntary underemployment" when she's trying to demand more child support from the babydaddy.)
The child neglect really got me, though it's subtly recounted. There's a scene where she returns home to her 6-year-old daughter topless with a man, and the same child understands the mechanics and purpose of sexual intercourse. She packs child off to spend the night or the weekend with casual acquaintances so that she can go out partying. Child completely comes apart after visiting her father, and it's clear to the reader that she is experiencing parental alienation from at least one parent but more likely both. Stephanie has a string of roommates (both male and female) that she gives breaks on the rent to for watching her kid, and buys beer for underage neighbors in exchange for childminding. The daughter has ongoing problems at school, but they're not recounted to the reader other than an admission that she's occasionally tardy and that she sometimes speaks out of turn. The child has an extremely limited palate because her mother won't risk buying new foods in case the daughter doesn't like them.
I will say that I'm looking forward to reading Emilia's memoir. She's almost 17 years old, and might have a very different story to tell about her childhood than the one that her mother recounts.
October 14, 2024
I did read some of the negative reviews prior and went in thinking people were overdramatic and frankly, quite rude about this second book from Stephanie Land. I wasn’t as enamored with Maid as other people but thought it was still quite a beautiful and necessary story to tell. It was a solid 3 stars and I thought the show was well done and was excited to read more of her story about moving to Montana. After getting about 30% through this book, I started understanding the negative reviews about this and by 60%, I was agreeing with them all.
I’d like to preface this with my take before and after I read the book. I have never experienced some of the things Land has gone through but I have been through the DV and abusive situations and I think people severely underestimate how abuse changes a person in every way. Hearing her perspective is very important to her entire story but people also aren’t seeing the other side effects. How it quite literally changes the way your brain views the world. A lot of people were commenting on how it’s exhausting to read about her going in a cycle constantly and making the same poor decisions over and over again especially at 35. While I don’t disagree with this, it’s a very clear effect from the abuse she went through and her upbringing that this behaviour is a direct consequence of that. People seem to be missing this perspective and trying to identify it from their own point of view. I wonder what examples she had growing up? How did the abuse lead her to constantly choosing horrible men? How did that affect the actual chemistry of her brain and skew the way she makes everyday decisions let alone struggling with all she does on top of that?
I think it’s important to have that information (or empathy) going in. This can be an incredibly frustrating read where Land seems to be settling into her ways as an adult but never having learned anything from her experiences. She even mentions multiple times that she gets along better with people a decade younger than her, mentally and maturity wise and not just for the financial congruities. And it’s clear she can’t afford the therapy to break these cycles, as was mentioned in the book, which kind of begs the reason of the entire book. How poverty affects people in every aspect of life. How do you know you need to break a cycle when you can’t even see it needs to be broken? Yes, she repeatedly makes the same terrible decisions and then is shocked by the outcome. She treats people like trash and as disposable and then complains about not having any support. She ends friendships with supportive friends who want to help her break these toxic cycles because she views them as superior and that they are “concern trolling� her. The hypocrisy of every choice is horrifyingly apparent and can be incredibly frustrating to read about, I get that. And I also don’t disagree but it seems the lack of empathy is missing from people reading that wasn’t there the last time and I wonder if it’s due to her age. As a society we make a lot of allowances for young people, but what happens when you’re 35 and are still living mentally as a 20 year old?
With all of that being said, people do have points in rating this book low and I don’t disagree with all of them. The writing felt a lot less poignant and more just angry circles of antagonizing stories. Land writes from a “better than� perspective here that loses a lot of what she captured in her first memoir. There were a lot of things about Maid that felt like someone who possibly can see the light at the end of the tunnel, someone who may make it out. Not necessarily out of poverty, but for the life that she was forced down due to circumstances beyond her control. Class is more like a door closing and that light being erased. Yes, she’s an authour now and I root for her but I really have trouble getting on the same page again if this is the kind of person she inevitably becomes.
I’d like to preface this with my take before and after I read the book. I have never experienced some of the things Land has gone through but I have been through the DV and abusive situations and I think people severely underestimate how abuse changes a person in every way. Hearing her perspective is very important to her entire story but people also aren’t seeing the other side effects. How it quite literally changes the way your brain views the world. A lot of people were commenting on how it’s exhausting to read about her going in a cycle constantly and making the same poor decisions over and over again especially at 35. While I don’t disagree with this, it’s a very clear effect from the abuse she went through and her upbringing that this behaviour is a direct consequence of that. People seem to be missing this perspective and trying to identify it from their own point of view. I wonder what examples she had growing up? How did the abuse lead her to constantly choosing horrible men? How did that affect the actual chemistry of her brain and skew the way she makes everyday decisions let alone struggling with all she does on top of that?
I think it’s important to have that information (or empathy) going in. This can be an incredibly frustrating read where Land seems to be settling into her ways as an adult but never having learned anything from her experiences. She even mentions multiple times that she gets along better with people a decade younger than her, mentally and maturity wise and not just for the financial congruities. And it’s clear she can’t afford the therapy to break these cycles, as was mentioned in the book, which kind of begs the reason of the entire book. How poverty affects people in every aspect of life. How do you know you need to break a cycle when you can’t even see it needs to be broken? Yes, she repeatedly makes the same terrible decisions and then is shocked by the outcome. She treats people like trash and as disposable and then complains about not having any support. She ends friendships with supportive friends who want to help her break these toxic cycles because she views them as superior and that they are “concern trolling� her. The hypocrisy of every choice is horrifyingly apparent and can be incredibly frustrating to read about, I get that. And I also don’t disagree but it seems the lack of empathy is missing from people reading that wasn’t there the last time and I wonder if it’s due to her age. As a society we make a lot of allowances for young people, but what happens when you’re 35 and are still living mentally as a 20 year old?
With all of that being said, people do have points in rating this book low and I don’t disagree with all of them. The writing felt a lot less poignant and more just angry circles of antagonizing stories. Land writes from a “better than� perspective here that loses a lot of what she captured in her first memoir. There were a lot of things about Maid that felt like someone who possibly can see the light at the end of the tunnel, someone who may make it out. Not necessarily out of poverty, but for the life that she was forced down due to circumstances beyond her control. Class is more like a door closing and that light being erased. Yes, she’s an authour now and I root for her but I really have trouble getting on the same page again if this is the kind of person she inevitably becomes.
December 11, 2023
There is so much to say about the failing of the system for poor people, especially single mothers, and just how hard the working class have to work with absolutely zero safety net. The tenuous balance of those trying to get ahead is a message that should be told...this is not the person to tell that story. This is a person who is so self-indulged and without any sense of prioritization or strong decision making. I found myself flabbergasted again and agin by the actions of this person and how much of her stress was brought on by herself, versus the system.
Shelved as 'did-not-finish'
June 7, 2023Started with a lot of anticipation and am DNF’ing about 15% of the way in. I appreciated Land’s story in Maid and was eager to read this follow up, but a few things annoyed me enough to stop reading. The main thing was the constant mention of never being able to do anything because of her “kid� (the overuse of that word rather than child, daughter or an actual name was another annoyance) and then the next sentence would describe her out at a party. I don’t care that she went to parties, but in a memoir like this where the main complaint is how hard life is with a “kid�, including the trials of finding and paying for childcare for every outing is crucial. It’s what makes the story whole and real. While reading, I just kept getting caught up in how she was able to GO to the party, and not as much caring about what happened at the party. I have lived the experience of not being to leave the house without childcare, and the trials and tribulations involved with how I was ever able to do so is a story in itself! A careful editor or even beta reads should have caught this.
I look forward to reading other reviews of this book in the future and hope someone finds value within its pages.
Source: digital review copy via Edelweiss
I look forward to reading other reviews of this book in the future and hope someone finds value within its pages.
Source: digital review copy via Edelweiss
October 3, 2023
3.5 Stars
I have read and really enjoyed the author's previous memoir so I was excited to continue her story in this book. The reviews are coming back with mixed ratings and I get it. This book is complicated. The author is not perfect which makes for a challenging read. This woman is very honest in the choices and consequences she faced. But what I see other reviewers ignore is our own privilege. It's easy to be judgey from a place of financial and food security. Poverty is a complicated experience and the author does not shy away from those aspects.
I would recommend this memoir to readers looking to put themselves in the shoes of someone who has experienced poverty as a single mom.
Disclaimer I received a copy of this book from the publisher.
I have read and really enjoyed the author's previous memoir so I was excited to continue her story in this book. The reviews are coming back with mixed ratings and I get it. This book is complicated. The author is not perfect which makes for a challenging read. This woman is very honest in the choices and consequences she faced. But what I see other reviewers ignore is our own privilege. It's easy to be judgey from a place of financial and food security. Poverty is a complicated experience and the author does not shy away from those aspects.
I would recommend this memoir to readers looking to put themselves in the shoes of someone who has experienced poverty as a single mom.
Disclaimer I received a copy of this book from the publisher.
December 1, 2023
This book could have been an email.
I hate to rate a memoir but this book was bad.
I hate to rate a memoir but this book was bad.
May 1, 2024
This book is a frustrating read because the author lacks a lot of self awareness and she doesn’t fully understand the ways in which she is benefitting from white privilege. She acknowledges her white privilege very briefly in one paragraph which reads like something her editor made her include.
There are countless examples of times when she benefits from her whiteness and makes no note of it while continuing to share her endless self-pity.
Tell me which racialized person can send notes to their professors TELLING(not asking) them that they will be bringing their 6yo to senior level undergrad classes.
Or the time there is no one to meet her child at bus stop and a STRANGER who is also a mom happens to take care of her child for seemingly at least 2-3 hours. No one calls child services on her and she doesn’t even bring that up as a possibility. This book would be done halfway through if the story featured a Black single mom because her child would have been taken away.
Another example of her white privilege is when she hurts her leg out of her own foolish choice to climb a building and then proceeds to boldly tell her professor that she hurt her leg doing something “epic�. At no point is she concerned about how her professor will view her or the fact that everyone knows she is a single mom who is willfully making choices to put herself in harms way. Again, if this were a Black or racialized single mom there’s no way she would tell her professor such things for fear of child services being called.
There are many other reviews that discuss her decision making and I agree that she makes choices without much forethought or consideration of long term impacts. Like if you are pregnant and food insecure, why bring another person into an already fraught situation. In addition, you already have one child who has a difficult relationship with her dad and now you choose to have another one with no father figure at all? Removing the possibility for the next child to have any relationship with her dad? Is that fair to the child?
I will say the book highlights the difficulties people have with accessing social services and the lack of streamlining. Also, it examines the challenges single parents encounter while pursuing higher education. That is my rationale for giving an additional star.
There are countless examples of times when she benefits from her whiteness and makes no note of it while continuing to share her endless self-pity.
Tell me which racialized person can send notes to their professors TELLING(not asking) them that they will be bringing their 6yo to senior level undergrad classes.
Or the time there is no one to meet her child at bus stop and a STRANGER who is also a mom happens to take care of her child for seemingly at least 2-3 hours. No one calls child services on her and she doesn’t even bring that up as a possibility. This book would be done halfway through if the story featured a Black single mom because her child would have been taken away.
Another example of her white privilege is when she hurts her leg out of her own foolish choice to climb a building and then proceeds to boldly tell her professor that she hurt her leg doing something “epic�. At no point is she concerned about how her professor will view her or the fact that everyone knows she is a single mom who is willfully making choices to put herself in harms way. Again, if this were a Black or racialized single mom there’s no way she would tell her professor such things for fear of child services being called.
There are many other reviews that discuss her decision making and I agree that she makes choices without much forethought or consideration of long term impacts. Like if you are pregnant and food insecure, why bring another person into an already fraught situation. In addition, you already have one child who has a difficult relationship with her dad and now you choose to have another one with no father figure at all? Removing the possibility for the next child to have any relationship with her dad? Is that fair to the child?
I will say the book highlights the difficulties people have with accessing social services and the lack of streamlining. Also, it examines the challenges single parents encounter while pursuing higher education. That is my rationale for giving an additional star.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 10, 2023
Lets agree that we are not to judge another’s actions, especially as few of us have never been impulsive, mislead, needy, ignorant, or just plain stupid enough to have committed an act we would rather not anyone know about. And, if you did not come from a family that moved on with no care for you, and were abused, and faced hunger, and wondered where you would sleep at night, you can’t pass judgement on those who have.
If you ever had a dream of a better life, and sought to have motherhood and education and a better future, if you ever were lonely, hungry, scared, and depressed, if you have loved a child, if you stretched yourself so thin you were desperate for any affection, even a passing encounter, then you will understand.
I was a huge fan of Stephanie Land’s memoir Maid. Her new memoir takes up her story at university, much older than the other students, and hoping to go on to earn an MFA and fulfill her childhood dream of writing. While in school she must also work and care for her daughter.
If writing requires ruthlessness, Land is ruthless in exposing herself in this memoir. Nothing is held back. She shares her emotional rollercoaster as she struggles to meet her needs and her daughter’s needs, and the university’s demands, and the requirements set by law to receive child support from her daughter’s father, and loans for school, and governmental assistance programs.
And the assistant programs are not set up to help the needy but to cull out everyone possible. With the end of welfare, the system discourages higher education by requiring recipients to work.
Land never felt entitled. In fact, she felt guilty for choosing to get an education when she could be working. But we have been told that an education is the pathway to wealth and security. Land believed in that dream. Sadly, the system is not set up to support her.
Land was in her thirties while at school. She had friends with benefits, but no one who was willing to be involved with a woman with a child. When she became pregnant during her senior year, she wanted to have the baby, believing it to be her last chance. It is heartbreaking to read of her food insecurity while pregnant.
It was hard to put this book down. Land’s brutal honesty drew me in as she shared dreams, her needs, her love for her child and revealed the challenges of poverty in America.
Thanks to the publisher for a free book.
If you ever had a dream of a better life, and sought to have motherhood and education and a better future, if you ever were lonely, hungry, scared, and depressed, if you have loved a child, if you stretched yourself so thin you were desperate for any affection, even a passing encounter, then you will understand.
I was a huge fan of Stephanie Land’s memoir Maid. Her new memoir takes up her story at university, much older than the other students, and hoping to go on to earn an MFA and fulfill her childhood dream of writing. While in school she must also work and care for her daughter.
If writing requires ruthlessness, Land is ruthless in exposing herself in this memoir. Nothing is held back. She shares her emotional rollercoaster as she struggles to meet her needs and her daughter’s needs, and the university’s demands, and the requirements set by law to receive child support from her daughter’s father, and loans for school, and governmental assistance programs.
And the assistant programs are not set up to help the needy but to cull out everyone possible. With the end of welfare, the system discourages higher education by requiring recipients to work.
Land never felt entitled. In fact, she felt guilty for choosing to get an education when she could be working. But we have been told that an education is the pathway to wealth and security. Land believed in that dream. Sadly, the system is not set up to support her.
Land was in her thirties while at school. She had friends with benefits, but no one who was willing to be involved with a woman with a child. When she became pregnant during her senior year, she wanted to have the baby, believing it to be her last chance. It is heartbreaking to read of her food insecurity while pregnant.
It was hard to put this book down. Land’s brutal honesty drew me in as she shared dreams, her needs, her love for her child and revealed the challenges of poverty in America.
Thanks to the publisher for a free book.
November 8, 2023
So was super excited to get a copy of the follow up to Maid, loved the show and let me just say this was a let down for me. Stephanie is VERY whiny, numerous times she does things that just have you thinking WHY? Why would a sane person do that or make that choice? And then some very different viewpoints on systems that are in place to help and aid�.just overall left me annoyed and disappointed. The writing honestly is all over the place and not easy to follow. Kinda mad that I wasted time on this one.
Trigger warnings: abortion, derogatory religious perspectives, language.
Thanks to Netgalley and Atria Books for my electronic advanced reader copy in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.
Trigger warnings: abortion, derogatory religious perspectives, language.
Thanks to Netgalley and Atria Books for my electronic advanced reader copy in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.
October 20, 2023
This is a book I was looking forward to, and I was so excited to receive an eARC of it earlier this month! It was, as was the first one, a relatively quick read - I devoured it during my morning and afternoon commute, and was done in two days.
After reading it, though, I made the terrible mistake of going online to see what other reviewers were thinking - naively believing that most of us would have interpreted it in a similar way. I was sorely disappointed, when instead of five-star reviews - which this one is, by the way - I found quite a lot of negative comments, complaining, mostly, about the “graphic� sex scenes and Land’s “bad decision-making� skills.
Let me just start with the first point : the sex scenes. Honestly ? You’ve probably seen worse in your latest favorite TV show. Land doesn’t write very detailed, graphic sex scenes, no matter what some reviewers seem to have read (did we get the same eARC ? Were pages missing in mine?).
Yes, this is a book destined for an adult audience. Yes, it will talk about things that matter in an adult woman’s life - including, but not limited to, her relationships with others. Just because it’s a woman writing about it doesn’t make it inherently vulgar or useless in a story.Ìý
Secondly, on the topic of “badâ€� decision-makingâ€� Who are you to judge ?Ìý
Land’s difficulties with the world of academia are real, and show us the barriers between poor citizens and higher education. Those that would judge her for trying to achieve something bigger than what she originally had - trying to get into the MFA program, for example - seem to have no comprehension of the intrinsic dilemma of higher education for low-income individuals : in order to try and grab our “chance at a better life� through a college or university diploma, we must make unsound financial decisions, like getting an insurmountable amount of student loans, or quitting a full-time job to try and get some classes part-time in a semester.
Yet, if we do not try our very best and aim to change our situation by getting a post-secondary degree, we are seen as lazy, unwilling to work for better living conditions, and, ultimately, deserving of our situation.Ìý
This book asks us : Who has the right to go to college? Who has the right to have dreams and hopes for the future? Who has the right to want things for themselves?
Unfortunately, it seems some readersâ€� answers to those questions are, “not you. Not the way you’re doing it. Not those choices.â€�.Ìý
Land’s memoir shows us the reality of what she had to go through to get to where she is now, in all its complicated details and heartbreaking turns. Yes, she may have made choices you personally don’t agree with, or that don’t seem to make sense to you, and it might make you uncomfortable - that’s the point of reading this book. Don’t let your discomfort prevent you from feeling empathy.Ìý
This is a beautiful book that I believe will be eye-opening for a lot of people, and I wish it just as much success as the first one. It deserves it.
After reading it, though, I made the terrible mistake of going online to see what other reviewers were thinking - naively believing that most of us would have interpreted it in a similar way. I was sorely disappointed, when instead of five-star reviews - which this one is, by the way - I found quite a lot of negative comments, complaining, mostly, about the “graphic� sex scenes and Land’s “bad decision-making� skills.
Let me just start with the first point : the sex scenes. Honestly ? You’ve probably seen worse in your latest favorite TV show. Land doesn’t write very detailed, graphic sex scenes, no matter what some reviewers seem to have read (did we get the same eARC ? Were pages missing in mine?).
Yes, this is a book destined for an adult audience. Yes, it will talk about things that matter in an adult woman’s life - including, but not limited to, her relationships with others. Just because it’s a woman writing about it doesn’t make it inherently vulgar or useless in a story.Ìý
Secondly, on the topic of “badâ€� decision-makingâ€� Who are you to judge ?Ìý
Land’s difficulties with the world of academia are real, and show us the barriers between poor citizens and higher education. Those that would judge her for trying to achieve something bigger than what she originally had - trying to get into the MFA program, for example - seem to have no comprehension of the intrinsic dilemma of higher education for low-income individuals : in order to try and grab our “chance at a better life� through a college or university diploma, we must make unsound financial decisions, like getting an insurmountable amount of student loans, or quitting a full-time job to try and get some classes part-time in a semester.
Yet, if we do not try our very best and aim to change our situation by getting a post-secondary degree, we are seen as lazy, unwilling to work for better living conditions, and, ultimately, deserving of our situation.Ìý
This book asks us : Who has the right to go to college? Who has the right to have dreams and hopes for the future? Who has the right to want things for themselves?
Unfortunately, it seems some readersâ€� answers to those questions are, “not you. Not the way you’re doing it. Not those choices.â€�.Ìý
Land’s memoir shows us the reality of what she had to go through to get to where she is now, in all its complicated details and heartbreaking turns. Yes, she may have made choices you personally don’t agree with, or that don’t seem to make sense to you, and it might make you uncomfortable - that’s the point of reading this book. Don’t let your discomfort prevent you from feeling empathy.Ìý
This is a beautiful book that I believe will be eye-opening for a lot of people, and I wish it just as much success as the first one. It deserves it.
June 3, 2023
Thanks for the free copy.
An interesting read.
However, I was a bit put off by the way she lived her life, as though someone (everyone?) owed her something.
Obviously intelligent, she should have known to use birth control.
An interesting read.
However, I was a bit put off by the way she lived her life, as though someone (everyone?) owed her something.
Obviously intelligent, she should have known to use birth control.
June 19, 2024
it's weird to review memoirs but here we are. i much preferred maid, as this one felt a bit rushed and disjointed at times
November 13, 2023
I was very excited to see that Stephanie Land had written a follow up book to Maid, and immediately had to get my hands on it. I was very moved by Land's account of doing everything she could in what were often impossible circumstances in Maid, and I cheered her on - every page along the way - as she worked relentlessly towards her goals.
I'm sad to say that Class left me with a very different impression, almost more of the feeling you have if you witness someone oversharing with a lack of insight and angry self-indulgence. A couple of times I paused to consider what I think is the distinct possibility that Land intentionally wrote Class in a tone that would be controversial to drum up publicity.
While I absolutely believe Stephanie Land's life is exhausting and difficult and she must often feel like she's Sisyphus pushing the boulder up a hill, I also couldn't imagine being a friend to her and NOT telling her to wake the f* up. If you were to read Class without more context, you'd swear you were reading about a woman in her early 20's with the priorities of this age in life.. Nope. Land is 35. Like, 5 years away from 40. A fully grown ass adult. Drinking and partying and casual sexual partners (without protection because it's "expensive")... leaving her daughter time and time again with people she barely knows... page after page, the book unfolds in all sorts of choices that put her daughter at risk. She (correctly) describes Jamie as abusive, not just to herself but to their daughter, yet then laments that he cancels visitations. I am not going to criticize the degree that she chooses to work towards as I don't think it's fair to say it's indulgent, but I do understand that it's a "long-haul" degree that she simply may not realistically be in a great position to pursue without a good amount of support. That's not a value judgement, it's just reality.
I still root for Stephanie Land, but I'm hoping that she'll move on from what is beginning to feel like a bit of a schtick and write about something else next time.
I'm sad to say that Class left me with a very different impression, almost more of the feeling you have if you witness someone oversharing with a lack of insight and angry self-indulgence. A couple of times I paused to consider what I think is the distinct possibility that Land intentionally wrote Class in a tone that would be controversial to drum up publicity.
While I absolutely believe Stephanie Land's life is exhausting and difficult and she must often feel like she's Sisyphus pushing the boulder up a hill, I also couldn't imagine being a friend to her and NOT telling her to wake the f* up. If you were to read Class without more context, you'd swear you were reading about a woman in her early 20's with the priorities of this age in life.. Nope. Land is 35. Like, 5 years away from 40. A fully grown ass adult. Drinking and partying and casual sexual partners (without protection because it's "expensive")... leaving her daughter time and time again with people she barely knows... page after page, the book unfolds in all sorts of choices that put her daughter at risk. She (correctly) describes Jamie as abusive, not just to herself but to their daughter, yet then laments that he cancels visitations. I am not going to criticize the degree that she chooses to work towards as I don't think it's fair to say it's indulgent, but I do understand that it's a "long-haul" degree that she simply may not realistically be in a great position to pursue without a good amount of support. That's not a value judgement, it's just reality.
I still root for Stephanie Land, but I'm hoping that she'll move on from what is beginning to feel like a bit of a schtick and write about something else next time.
November 23, 2023
I liked “Maid� pretty well but this one was a no. I got so tired of the author feeling sorry for herself and repeatedly telling us what a victim she was while simultaneously running after men, going to concerts, drinking, and leaving her child with any Tom, Dick or Harry who happened to be around. While I sympathize with anyone struggling in poverty, the author managed to make me dislike her pretty early on.
January 11, 2024
This memoir by Stephanie Land should be on everyone's list if you haven't already read it. Classism as pertains to higher education amongst low income parents, low income students in general -- it's more pertinent than ever. Be prepared to set aside everything you think you know about government assistance, food benefits, time management, community, etc.
This is undoubtedly one of the best memoirs I've read to date.
This is undoubtedly one of the best memoirs I've read to date.
June 13, 2023
When I say I consumed this book...what an incredibly raw and real story. I lived the childhood that Emilia Story lived, celebrating even the smallest things because in our home they were huge. This book helped me heal and it helped me see my parents as people, with their own struggles and their own lives instead of just as parents who failed to give me the all-American suburban childhood.
I feel seen by this book. My struggles in college, my struggles with an emotionally and occasionally physically abusive ex husband, the choice I had to make multiple times between food and housing or a college education to better myself, and the casual judgement faced day in and day out as someone living in poverty.
Stephanie wasn't a hero, she didn't write herself as a hero, she didn't write herself as better than anyone else. She wrote herself. Every dark nook and cranny, every gasping panic attack, every "just one more step", every beautiful celebration and every dragging sadness.
I'm sure many people will read this book with eyes of judgement, and I'm equally sure many of those judgements will be from a position of privilege. So many people take their privilege for granted, and judge others who lack the same. Food security and housing security is a *privilege*. Financial security is a *luxury*.
I am someone who lived in 8 different homes in 2 different states before I was 14. Sneaking out for KFC with my dad was a special treat. One year for my birthday all I got from my parents was a CD and some candy. Almost everything my family owned was stolen when I was 9. Four of us lived in a one room cabin with no plumbing or electricity. My bedroom when I was 11 was a portion of the living room separated by a discarded cubicle wall. My parents often forgot to pick me up from band practice, and I rarely did after extra curricular activities or sports because we couldn't afford it. I started working nearly full time when I was 16 so I could get my own haircuts, stop eating free hot lunches at school, and buy myself nice shoes instead of clearance shoes. I still to this day feel a deep sense of discomfort at buying new clothes instead of shopping at a thrift store, and I very rarely can even bring myself to buy a new piece of clothing that's not on a really good sale or clearance.
All that to say, I empathize with this story. I think many other women will, it's beautiful and raw and puts everything we hide and pretend doesn't happen on the table in full view. It's a reminder that we must find balance in our lives, and that those of us who lack privilege must make very real sacrifices to get to a position of security and stability. For those of us will little to no means, making more of your life is a struggle of priorities and living on a knife edge.
It's a beautiful book that really vibrantly portrays the reality many of us live and few acknowledge.
I feel seen by this book. My struggles in college, my struggles with an emotionally and occasionally physically abusive ex husband, the choice I had to make multiple times between food and housing or a college education to better myself, and the casual judgement faced day in and day out as someone living in poverty.
Stephanie wasn't a hero, she didn't write herself as a hero, she didn't write herself as better than anyone else. She wrote herself. Every dark nook and cranny, every gasping panic attack, every "just one more step", every beautiful celebration and every dragging sadness.
I'm sure many people will read this book with eyes of judgement, and I'm equally sure many of those judgements will be from a position of privilege. So many people take their privilege for granted, and judge others who lack the same. Food security and housing security is a *privilege*. Financial security is a *luxury*.
I am someone who lived in 8 different homes in 2 different states before I was 14. Sneaking out for KFC with my dad was a special treat. One year for my birthday all I got from my parents was a CD and some candy. Almost everything my family owned was stolen when I was 9. Four of us lived in a one room cabin with no plumbing or electricity. My bedroom when I was 11 was a portion of the living room separated by a discarded cubicle wall. My parents often forgot to pick me up from band practice, and I rarely did after extra curricular activities or sports because we couldn't afford it. I started working nearly full time when I was 16 so I could get my own haircuts, stop eating free hot lunches at school, and buy myself nice shoes instead of clearance shoes. I still to this day feel a deep sense of discomfort at buying new clothes instead of shopping at a thrift store, and I very rarely can even bring myself to buy a new piece of clothing that's not on a really good sale or clearance.
All that to say, I empathize with this story. I think many other women will, it's beautiful and raw and puts everything we hide and pretend doesn't happen on the table in full view. It's a reminder that we must find balance in our lives, and that those of us who lack privilege must make very real sacrifices to get to a position of security and stability. For those of us will little to no means, making more of your life is a struggle of priorities and living on a knife edge.
It's a beautiful book that really vibrantly portrays the reality many of us live and few acknowledge.
January 20, 2024
No! Just No!
This woman is the quintessential slug that you find on a pylon on a pier in the ocean.
Just hanging on until time to make a move.
Mo Money.
That is what her name should be or maybe Ho Money.
This woman is a tramp. Plain and simple. She puts herself before her daughter ALL the time and pawns her daughter off on anyone who will watch her so she can go be a hobag for the night. She screws anyone. Gets knocked up. Has an abortion and it seems now she has another kid by a one night stand when she supposedly can’t afford the one she had first.
She puts her daughter in dangerous situations so she can go out and party. She pays underage college students to watch her daughter so she can go out and screw any trash bag she meets and she pays these underage students in alcohol�. So there she goes contributing to the delinquency of a minor so she can go get knocked up by the next Tom, Dick or Harry.
My word. This woman is vile!
She claims poverty�. But seems to have thousands of dollars of tattoos over her arms. Those things cost money. Where did that money come from when she feeds her child macaroni and cheese with a hot dog in it?
She even has the nerve to place the blame on her high tuition cost on parents whose children pay for in state tuition because since she migrated to Montana and applied to the University there she was still considered out of state because she had not lived there long enough to be called in state. Like it was the parent’s of the actual in state students fault that her tuition was so much. Tuition I am sure she has never thought twice about paying back.
So now�.this woman has two kids out of wedlock and seems to think a free living is owed to her. The bitch was 40 years old!!
My daughter, who is 38 and has a 16 month old daughter is working 50 hour weeks.. has bought a house in 2020 and lives paycheck to paycheck and has never taken a cent of money from any government organization. She does have me and her father here IF she needs us�. But has never asked us for a dime.
I also started babysitting and house sitting and cat sitting by the age of 12 and saved my money. I got a job at McDonalds when I was 17 and graduated high school and could not even think about attending college because my parents were doing all they could to put my 14 month older brother through Radford University and I was not going to sink them further into debt. I got a very physically hard job in a factory at age 18 and worked my ass off and bought a house at 19. I got married�. We waited 5 years and had my daughter. We SAVED and never asked for handouts from anyone.
She talks about the pain of cleaning houses for three hours?? Try working 12 hour shifts for 7 days a week with scoliosis and two knees that I had replaced before the age of 48. Cry me a river you whiny bitch.
I could not finish this book because I could not stomach her constant money grabbing complaints.
Supposedly her net worth is around 500K to 1 million from her book sales. Good for her. Now she should pay the government back all the money the taxpayers gave to support her trashy ass.
Prayers to Mia and any other child born to this pathetic excuse for a MOTHER. They deserved MUCH better.
This woman is the quintessential slug that you find on a pylon on a pier in the ocean.
Just hanging on until time to make a move.
Mo Money.
That is what her name should be or maybe Ho Money.
This woman is a tramp. Plain and simple. She puts herself before her daughter ALL the time and pawns her daughter off on anyone who will watch her so she can go be a hobag for the night. She screws anyone. Gets knocked up. Has an abortion and it seems now she has another kid by a one night stand when she supposedly can’t afford the one she had first.
She puts her daughter in dangerous situations so she can go out and party. She pays underage college students to watch her daughter so she can go out and screw any trash bag she meets and she pays these underage students in alcohol�. So there she goes contributing to the delinquency of a minor so she can go get knocked up by the next Tom, Dick or Harry.
My word. This woman is vile!
She claims poverty�. But seems to have thousands of dollars of tattoos over her arms. Those things cost money. Where did that money come from when she feeds her child macaroni and cheese with a hot dog in it?
She even has the nerve to place the blame on her high tuition cost on parents whose children pay for in state tuition because since she migrated to Montana and applied to the University there she was still considered out of state because she had not lived there long enough to be called in state. Like it was the parent’s of the actual in state students fault that her tuition was so much. Tuition I am sure she has never thought twice about paying back.
So now�.this woman has two kids out of wedlock and seems to think a free living is owed to her. The bitch was 40 years old!!
My daughter, who is 38 and has a 16 month old daughter is working 50 hour weeks.. has bought a house in 2020 and lives paycheck to paycheck and has never taken a cent of money from any government organization. She does have me and her father here IF she needs us�. But has never asked us for a dime.
I also started babysitting and house sitting and cat sitting by the age of 12 and saved my money. I got a job at McDonalds when I was 17 and graduated high school and could not even think about attending college because my parents were doing all they could to put my 14 month older brother through Radford University and I was not going to sink them further into debt. I got a very physically hard job in a factory at age 18 and worked my ass off and bought a house at 19. I got married�. We waited 5 years and had my daughter. We SAVED and never asked for handouts from anyone.
She talks about the pain of cleaning houses for three hours?? Try working 12 hour shifts for 7 days a week with scoliosis and two knees that I had replaced before the age of 48. Cry me a river you whiny bitch.
I could not finish this book because I could not stomach her constant money grabbing complaints.
Supposedly her net worth is around 500K to 1 million from her book sales. Good for her. Now she should pay the government back all the money the taxpayers gave to support her trashy ass.
Prayers to Mia and any other child born to this pathetic excuse for a MOTHER. They deserved MUCH better.
August 30, 2023
Thanks to my self-imposed rule to finish every book I start, I DID finish this one, but I was not happy with myself or the book for doing so. This book could have been SO useful and inspiring to others, but instead, chose to whine about EVERYTHING! I agree with other reviewers that with a subtitle that includes motherhood as the subject of this memoir, VERY little attention was given to actually MOTHERING the child. (I hazard a bet that if you highlighted the space she spent about interacting with her child in a meaningful way against the space taken by either chasing men and a good time and GRAPHICALLY describing how she and those men make each other cum exactly, you would find she probably spent much less time with the child than in the pursuit of personal pleasure.) Instead, "the kid" seems to be where she places much of the blame for her inability to party and go to school worry-free. What blame is not placed on the child is scattered among her parents, friends, exes, the school she attends, the systems of welfare...you name it. Where the blame NEVER seems to fall is on Land herself.
I had REALLY wanted to read Maid before I read this book and doubt now that I ever will.
I had REALLY wanted to read Maid before I read this book and doubt now that I ever will.
November 9, 2023
DNF. I loved the auth0r's first book, Maid, and the author herself after reading it. This one I couldn't get past 50 pages of a total whine-fest.
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