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Go the Fuck to Sleep
ŷ Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Humor (2011)A laugh-out-loud, adults-only bedtime story for parents familiar with the age-old struggle of putting their kids to bed
“Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.�
Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night.
Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.
“Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.�
Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night.
Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.
64 pages, Hardcover
First published June 14, 2011
1,925 people are currently reading
44.6k people want to read
About the author
Adam Mansbach
34books378followersAdam Mansbach is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Go the Fuck to Sleep, as well as the novels Rage is Back, The End of the Jews (winner of the California Book Award), and Angry Black White Boy, and the memoir-in-verse I Had a Brother Once. With Dave Barry and Alan Zweibel, he co-authored For This We Left Egypt, a finalist for the Thurber Award for American Humor, and the bestselling A Field Guide to the Jewish People. Mansbach's debut screenplay, for the Netflix Original BARRY, was nominated for an Independent Spirit Award and an NAACP Image Award, and he is a two-time recipient of the Reed Award and the American Association of Political Consultants' Gold Pollie Award, for his 2012 Obama/Biden campaign video "Wake The Fuck Up" and his 2020 Biden/Harris campaign ad "Same Old," both starring Samuel L. Jackson. Mansbach's work has appeared in The New Yorker, New York Times Book Review, Esquire, The Believer, The Guardian, and on National Public Radio's All Things Considered, The Moth Storytelling Hour, and This American Life. His next novel, The Golem of Brooklyn, will be published by One World in September.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 4,161 reviews
May 26, 2023
F*cking funny!
The day is over, the night has set in;
Your kid is a joyful, innocent and sweet;
But for chrissakes, the little brat is restless;
Why on earth, can’t he f*cking sleep!
This review will be short, as it should be;
No detailed analysis, no rec I can give;
This book is so funny, haha you will see;
I’m off now, don't disturb my f*cking sleep.
-----------------------------------------------
PERSONAL NOTE : Thank you Berengaria and Zoey for the rec!
[2011] [17p] [Humor] [Conditional Recommendable]
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¡La p*ta pero que gracioso!
El día terminó, la noche ya llegó;
Tu hijo es un amor, dulce e inocente;
Pero la p*ta, el pendejo no se duerme;
Santo Jebús, ¡dormite de un maldita vez!
Esta reseña será corta, como debe ser;
Sin análisis detallado; complicado recomendarlo;
Este libro es muy gracioso, jaja van a ver;
Me voy, ahora cállense y dejenme dormir.
-----------------------------------------------
NOTA PERSONAL : Gracias Berengaria y Zoey por la rec!
[2011] [17p] [Humor] [Recomendable Condicional]
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The day is over, the night has set in;
Your kid is a joyful, innocent and sweet;
But for chrissakes, the little brat is restless;
Why on earth, can’t he f*cking sleep!
This review will be short, as it should be;
No detailed analysis, no rec I can give;
This book is so funny, haha you will see;
I’m off now, don't disturb my f*cking sleep.
-----------------------------------------------
PERSONAL NOTE : Thank you Berengaria and Zoey for the rec!
[2011] [17p] [Humor] [Conditional Recommendable]
-----------------------------------------------
¡La p*ta pero que gracioso!
El día terminó, la noche ya llegó;
Tu hijo es un amor, dulce e inocente;
Pero la p*ta, el pendejo no se duerme;
Santo Jebús, ¡dormite de un maldita vez!
Esta reseña será corta, como debe ser;
Sin análisis detallado; complicado recomendarlo;
Este libro es muy gracioso, jaja van a ver;
Me voy, ahora cállense y dejenme dormir.
-----------------------------------------------
NOTA PERSONAL : Gracias Berengaria y Zoey por la rec!
[2011] [17p] [Humor] [Recomendable Condicional]
-----------------------------------------------
May 15, 2020
“I know you're not thirsty. That's bullshit. Stop lying. Lie the fuck down, my darling, and sleep.�
Why does this book sound so much just like me? My babysitting skills in a nutshell here!
Why does this book sound so much just like me? My babysitting skills in a nutshell here!
June 9, 2011
NEVER MIND THE VERY CATCHY TITLE...and disregard that it is only 32 pages long and designed to emulate those children’s books we parents read ad nauseum to our kids�THIS IS AN ANTHEM TO PARENTS EVERYWHERE, an honest celebration of that all too familiar experience that we have all been through…and I laughed my mental-cursing, temper-losing, patience-exhausted, anger-rising, sleep-deprived ass off the entire time I was reading it.
In addition to being Hangover funny, it is also surprisingly comforting to all of us who have been through this. Every single word of every page screamed “We’ve been there too� and “You’re not alone.� It lets us know that every time we find ourselves alone at night with our too awake, sugar addicted, energizer bunny of a child, that we are part of a great parental circle of life that understands what were going through. It reminds us that millions of others are suffering the same injustice we are at the hands of that lying, evil monster that just an hour ago…AN HOUR AGO…pinky promised us they would go to sleep with no fuss if we would only let them have ice cream after dinner. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, call me a parent because we never learn.
The most brilliant part of this book is that the authors didn’t exaggerate in order to try and sneak in a few extra chuckles, and they didn’t insert any excess crudity to increase the potential shock value. They just allowed the book to mirror the real life experience of every parents and what shines through is the kind of TRUTH that we laugh hardest at because it is just so universal.
Even when the truth is something that we hate to admit, we will still smile when confronted with it because we just know...we just know it's true!!
I will end by saying that this book has ascended to the top spot as our new #1 gift to new parents and I think it will take something pretty special to knock out this champ. HIGHEST POSSIBLE RECOMMENDATION!!!
In addition to being Hangover funny, it is also surprisingly comforting to all of us who have been through this. Every single word of every page screamed “We’ve been there too� and “You’re not alone.� It lets us know that every time we find ourselves alone at night with our too awake, sugar addicted, energizer bunny of a child, that we are part of a great parental circle of life that understands what were going through. It reminds us that millions of others are suffering the same injustice we are at the hands of that lying, evil monster that just an hour ago…AN HOUR AGO…pinky promised us they would go to sleep with no fuss if we would only let them have ice cream after dinner. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, call me a parent because we never learn.
The most brilliant part of this book is that the authors didn’t exaggerate in order to try and sneak in a few extra chuckles, and they didn’t insert any excess crudity to increase the potential shock value. They just allowed the book to mirror the real life experience of every parents and what shines through is the kind of TRUTH that we laugh hardest at because it is just so universal.
Even when the truth is something that we hate to admit, we will still smile when confronted with it because we just know...we just know it's true!!
I will end by saying that this book has ascended to the top spot as our new #1 gift to new parents and I think it will take something pretty special to knock out this champ. HIGHEST POSSIBLE RECOMMENDATION!!!
June 15, 2011
I can't express how much I love this book. My son is currently whining because he's supposed to be napping.
Yeah, good fucking luck on that one.
But this book is so awesome because it's true. I think I've thought almost every word in this book toward my son at some point.
Seriously, boy! Mummy needs her GoodReads time so GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!!!
Yeah, good fucking luck on that one.
But this book is so awesome because it's true. I think I've thought almost every word in this book toward my son at some point.
Seriously, boy! Mummy needs her GoodReads time so GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!!!
March 14, 2024
A Future Classic?
I’ve been wanting to read this book for a long time. I’ve been very curious. So when Amazon had it on sale I snapped it up.
The story is told through the father’s point of view. I’m sure many of you have guessed that, already.
The parent has a disciplinary problem with his toddler, who needs to be cursed at in order to go to sleep.
No, I’m not taking this book seriously. I know it’s tongue in cheek. As a matter of fact, I would love to hear the audio version.
I’m told Samuel L. Jackson is the narrator. Imagine that.
Five stars. 💫💫💫💫💫
I’ve been wanting to read this book for a long time. I’ve been very curious. So when Amazon had it on sale I snapped it up.
The story is told through the father’s point of view. I’m sure many of you have guessed that, already.
The parent has a disciplinary problem with his toddler, who needs to be cursed at in order to go to sleep.
No, I’m not taking this book seriously. I know it’s tongue in cheek. As a matter of fact, I would love to hear the audio version.
I’m told Samuel L. Jackson is the narrator. Imagine that.
Five stars. 💫💫💫💫💫
February 22, 2017
I am not one for profanity...but...this book read by Samuel L. Jackson is truly what happens at sleep time! An Adult read!
You can hear this on You Tube narrated by Samuel L. Jackson: ...
You can hear this on You Tube narrated by Samuel L. Jackson: ...
June 6, 2023
So funny! Better appreciated with a small kid at home but it not a must. You can hear this on You Tube narrated by Samuel L. Jackson:
Thanks to Alina for the inspiration to read/listen to this.
Thanks to Alina for the inspiration to read/listen to this.
April 23, 2025
The flowers doze low in the meadows
And high on the mountains so steep.
My life is a failure, I'm a shitty-ass parent.
Stop fucking with me, please, and sleep.
Ah, yes, the beautiful poetry of parenthood. I wonder if it's appropriate to read this to my twelve-year-old? I guess I always thought that he'd be less annoying at bedtime the older he got, but somehow my son only thinks of things he desperately needs to ask/tell me after 9 p.m. (and also when I'm reading. Always.) My husband and I will be settling down to watch an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when, out of nowhere, “Hey, mom. What are we having for dinner tomorrow night?� 🙄🙄🙄
Seriously, he's a great kid but I totally get the sentiment behind this book.
Also, don't bother checking this out from the library. Go find the YouTube video of Samuel L. Jackson reading it out loud, because it makes it all the more hilarious. I mean, just imagine Jackson reading the lines “Fuck your stuffed bear, I'm not getting you shit. Close your eyes. Cut the crap. Sleep.� Perfection.
Four brilliant f**king stars.
And high on the mountains so steep.
My life is a failure, I'm a shitty-ass parent.
Stop fucking with me, please, and sleep.
Ah, yes, the beautiful poetry of parenthood. I wonder if it's appropriate to read this to my twelve-year-old? I guess I always thought that he'd be less annoying at bedtime the older he got, but somehow my son only thinks of things he desperately needs to ask/tell me after 9 p.m. (and also when I'm reading. Always.) My husband and I will be settling down to watch an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when, out of nowhere, “Hey, mom. What are we having for dinner tomorrow night?� 🙄🙄🙄
Seriously, he's a great kid but I totally get the sentiment behind this book.
Also, don't bother checking this out from the library. Go find the YouTube video of Samuel L. Jackson reading it out loud, because it makes it all the more hilarious. I mean, just imagine Jackson reading the lines “Fuck your stuffed bear, I'm not getting you shit. Close your eyes. Cut the crap. Sleep.� Perfection.
Four brilliant f**king stars.
February 22, 2017
Hilarious!
As soon as I saw this, I had to read it. I went straight to Amazon and snatched the kindle edition. The story is hilarious and the illustrations are great. A definite conversation piece.
After buying it, I realized I could've watched it on YouTube for free! And better yet, narrated by one of my favorite actors, Samuel L. Jackson.
4****
As soon as I saw this, I had to read it. I went straight to Amazon and snatched the kindle edition. The story is hilarious and the illustrations are great. A definite conversation piece.
After buying it, I realized I could've watched it on YouTube for free! And better yet, narrated by one of my favorite actors, Samuel L. Jackson.
4****
June 25, 2011
Oh my gosh this book is fucking hilarious!
I had a discussion only this week with my husband about why the hell people don’t tell you how evil kids are before you have the little fuckers.
The author of this book needs to write a whole series � I already have book titles prepared:
~ Sit the fuck on the toilet
~ Eat your fucking vegetables
~ Stop bitch slapping your brother
~ Stop screaming before mummy turns fucking cray cray.
And the one I currently need:
~ Get that finger out of your fucking nose
And one that is probably more specific for my two year old son at the moment:
~ Stop tasting your urine, its fucking disgusting.
I don't think I have ever had such a strong spiritual bond with another book in my entire life.
My kids are exactly like the child in - Go The Fuck To Sleep, as you can see from the image of my kids below � they are freaking zombie devil children.
Well it isn’t really, but its sorta how I picture them in my head and every night my husband and I go through the same routine after putting the kids to bed.
"Mum I need a tissue"
Dad I need to go to the toilet
Mum I need a drink of water
So every single page of this book hit close to home. Adam Mansbach - You rock!!
Check it out on Youtube
I had a discussion only this week with my husband about why the hell people don’t tell you how evil kids are before you have the little fuckers.
The author of this book needs to write a whole series � I already have book titles prepared:
~ Sit the fuck on the toilet
~ Eat your fucking vegetables
~ Stop bitch slapping your brother
~ Stop screaming before mummy turns fucking cray cray.
And the one I currently need:
~ Get that finger out of your fucking nose
And one that is probably more specific for my two year old son at the moment:
~ Stop tasting your urine, its fucking disgusting.
I don't think I have ever had such a strong spiritual bond with another book in my entire life.
My kids are exactly like the child in - Go The Fuck To Sleep, as you can see from the image of my kids below � they are freaking zombie devil children.
Well it isn’t really, but its sorta how I picture them in my head and every night my husband and I go through the same routine after putting the kids to bed.
"Mum I need a tissue"
Dad I need to go to the toilet
Mum I need a drink of water
So every single page of this book hit close to home. Adam Mansbach - You rock!!
Check it out on Youtube
July 21, 2016
I just had to get this audio when I heard that Samuel L. Jackson was the narrator! I just love him! He has a little intro he does in the beginning talking about his kids and his friends kids that was funny as well.
This is a funny ADULT CHILDREN'S BOOK! This is NOT A BOOK TO READ TO YOUR KIDS! Unless you really want to �
The book is a very short audio book as you can imagine but it was only $3 and some change on Amazon and hey, it's Samuel reading! I loved it! �
MY BLOG:
February 23, 2017
If you are looking for a quick laugh (about 5 mins) listen to this book. Samuel Jackson reading this funny adult book. Though, there is a lot of swearing. I heard the audio was great and I had been looking for it. Thanks to Mischenko for pointing out it is available on YouTube:
June 16, 2011
I guess my parents were lucky -- we pretty much went to sleep without fussing. And if we got up again we usually played quietly without disturbing our parents. And the kids I baby-sat most often went to sleep pretty obligingly, too, probably because I played energetic games with them so they were wiped out. I remember having to convince one very docile girl that it would be okay for her to go to bed early if she wanted to. She could hardly keep her eyes open by 7:20 but thought she had to stay up till 8. I suggested she could brush her teeth and get in bed, and we would read until 8. I think she made it to 7:40. What? Not helping? Oh, sorry. Well, sometimes my boyfriend wakes me up in the night for -- That doesn't count? Well, it's not my fault you have kids. Keep it in your pants next time, why doncha?
April 11, 2022
Book and Audible review!!
I have already read and reviewed this book recently. It was a fun read. My fellow ŷ friend Tracy told me about the audible, so I listened to it. HILARIOUS!!
Hands down best audible I have heard to date! Thank you
Samuel L. Jackson for making an already good book, even better!!
I have to say though, I think James Earl Jones would be just as amazing as Samuel L Jackson narrating this! Fingers crossed, maybe one day..??!!
So move over Goodnight Moon, this is definitely a soon to be classic kids bedtime story!
I have already read and reviewed this book recently. It was a fun read. My fellow ŷ friend Tracy told me about the audible, so I listened to it. HILARIOUS!!
Hands down best audible I have heard to date! Thank you
Samuel L. Jackson for making an already good book, even better!!
I have to say though, I think James Earl Jones would be just as amazing as Samuel L Jackson narrating this! Fingers crossed, maybe one day..??!!
So move over Goodnight Moon, this is definitely a soon to be classic kids bedtime story!
May 6, 2015
Every parent whose ever lived has, at some point (but mostly regularly, at lots of points) wanted to tell their kid GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP. (And if you say you never wanted to, your child either didn't have vocal cords or you are telling big porkies). This book says it on every page and the beautiful illustrations and to-the-point poetry will elicit much sympathy and humour on the part of any reader. But perhaps not the knowing looks that will pass between the tired, sleep-deprived parents of a baby, a toddler or just an effing little brat, on receiving this book as a creative gift from you.
December 15, 2024
اینو خیلی وقت پیش خوندم و ظاهراً اضافه نکرده بودم. دیدم دوستان خوندن گفتم اضافه کنم شمام چشمتون به جمالش روشن شه
نسخه صوتی با صدای ساموئل ال جکسون
نسخه صوتی با خوانش جنیفر گارنر که کاملش رو نمیخون�
نسخه صوتی با صدای ساموئل ال جکسون
نسخه صوتی با خوانش جنیفر گارنر که کاملش رو نمیخون�
October 6, 2011
I stumbled across this book on Amazon and thought it looked cute, so I bought it to read for my four-year-old at bedtime. I was looking forward to receiving it, but when I opened up the package, I was horrified to see a sleeping child surrounded by tigers. Children should not sleep in the presence of tigers. Tigers are dangerous! Had I noticed the tigers on the cover from the start, I never would have purchased the book. I thought they were just really big cats from some magical land like Oz or The Magical Land of the Really Big Cats.
I should have thrown the book straight in the trash after seeing the cover, but I’m not exactly made of money so I taped a page from a newspaper to hide the cover from Max and read it to him later that night. I started reading it and it was really great, but then I got to the last sentence on the first page and was horrified! I’ve never read such filthy language in a children’s book. I wanted to stop reading. I NEEDED to stop reading. But Max is the pushiest four year old I’ve ever met so he wouldn’t let me stop reading.
I read more and more of the book and felt intense nausea, but I had to continued because Max would have would have squirmed away and told me that he hated me if I stopped reading before the end. The publisher of this book should be ashamed of themselves for publishing such filth. Not a page went by without one usage of the f-word. And there was even one page with the word for excrement!
Page after page. A few of them even had children playing with tigers like on the cover! I’m mortified that Max will leave the house and spend the night sleeping in the zoo surrounded by deadly predators rather than sleep in his room surrounded by his 27 teddy bears. And then there’s that page with the child falling through the air attached to a parachute. Oh my Lord! I don’t know what’s more dangerous: a child spending time with tigers or jumping out of a plane to go skydiving.
This horrible book is only 18 pages, but it felt like an eternity while I was reading it. I’m surprised I didn’t have a heart attack before I finished reading its last obscene sentence.
And then I saw the final page with the biographical data of the evil evil men who wrote and illustrated the book. I didn’t read it aloud to Max because it always angers him whenever I accidentally read a page like this. But I was shocked…absolutely shocked to learn that not only did the author have a filthy mouth and advocate putting small children in dangerous situations, but he is also an anti-Semite. Even worse than an anti-Semite. He is a proponent for the extinction of all Jews. I will never, ever read his book, The End of the Jews, especially to Max. At that moment, I felt like I had just read a children’s book written by Adolf Hitler.
Shame on you, Amazon! Shame on you for your false advertising. You are to blame for not listing the book’s actual title. How was I supposed to know what the book was actually called when you censored the title’s filthy word? I never thought anyone would use THAT word in a children’s book title. I thought it was a Sumerian word or something. I thought the book would be educational. Teach Max a few words from an ancient language before he went to sleep. But no—instead he’s been talking like a hummus and salsa factory worker ever since I made possibly the biggest mistake of my life.
I should have thrown the book straight in the trash after seeing the cover, but I’m not exactly made of money so I taped a page from a newspaper to hide the cover from Max and read it to him later that night. I started reading it and it was really great, but then I got to the last sentence on the first page and was horrified! I’ve never read such filthy language in a children’s book. I wanted to stop reading. I NEEDED to stop reading. But Max is the pushiest four year old I’ve ever met so he wouldn’t let me stop reading.
I read more and more of the book and felt intense nausea, but I had to continued because Max would have would have squirmed away and told me that he hated me if I stopped reading before the end. The publisher of this book should be ashamed of themselves for publishing such filth. Not a page went by without one usage of the f-word. And there was even one page with the word for excrement!
Page after page. A few of them even had children playing with tigers like on the cover! I’m mortified that Max will leave the house and spend the night sleeping in the zoo surrounded by deadly predators rather than sleep in his room surrounded by his 27 teddy bears. And then there’s that page with the child falling through the air attached to a parachute. Oh my Lord! I don’t know what’s more dangerous: a child spending time with tigers or jumping out of a plane to go skydiving.
This horrible book is only 18 pages, but it felt like an eternity while I was reading it. I’m surprised I didn’t have a heart attack before I finished reading its last obscene sentence.
And then I saw the final page with the biographical data of the evil evil men who wrote and illustrated the book. I didn’t read it aloud to Max because it always angers him whenever I accidentally read a page like this. But I was shocked…absolutely shocked to learn that not only did the author have a filthy mouth and advocate putting small children in dangerous situations, but he is also an anti-Semite. Even worse than an anti-Semite. He is a proponent for the extinction of all Jews. I will never, ever read his book, The End of the Jews, especially to Max. At that moment, I felt like I had just read a children’s book written by Adolf Hitler.
Shame on you, Amazon! Shame on you for your false advertising. You are to blame for not listing the book’s actual title. How was I supposed to know what the book was actually called when you censored the title’s filthy word? I never thought anyone would use THAT word in a children’s book title. I thought it was a Sumerian word or something. I thought the book would be educational. Teach Max a few words from an ancient language before he went to sleep. But no—instead he’s been talking like a hummus and salsa factory worker ever since I made possibly the biggest mistake of my life.
October 11, 2018
First of all, that title!
Second of all, Sam L Jackson!
Finally,
So I'm off the fuck to sleep.
Yeah I know I'm at work.
But I don't give a damn. Bitch.
Thanks for bringing this to me Adina...
Second of all, Sam L Jackson!
Finally,
So I'm off the fuck to sleep.
Yeah I know I'm at work.
But I don't give a damn. Bitch.
Thanks for bringing this to me Adina...
September 28, 2013
Even though I will vehemently deny it around people who know me, every once in a while I look at all the people who suck in the world and think I owe it to humanity to procreate. Why? Because, and I don't want to undersell this, I really think my children would be awesome. However, there are three primary reasons I have thus far refused to give in to any maternal instinct: 1) pregnancy and childbirth hold no appeal whatsoever as I don't think the whole host/parasite dynamic is that magical, 2) with my luck, my children would be cheerleaders and football players--and I just can't risk that, and 3) I would be the type of parent who would tell my kid to go the fuck to sleep--at least until they had the ability to mimic everything I said. I have proof of this because of the summer I baby-sat my 6 month old nephew. That child may never remember it, but during those two months he heard language normally only uttered by drunken sailors on leave--albeit in a sweet, sing-songy voice. And the only thing I wanted from him all summer was for him to go to frackin' sleep so I could read. That summer I learned why it's called baby-sitting (literally, that's all you can do--sit and watch the baby) and why I probably should not consider being a parent.
It's also because of that summer that I can understand the frustration of the narrator in this book. I also highly recommend listening to the audio version narrated by Samuel L. Jackson while reading. No one can throw down vulgarities like my man Samuel. He perfectly captures a loving, but tired parent's increasing tension and frustration while trying to coax a young'un into sleep until he finally reaches a Jules "And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger" Winnfield crescendo. And. It. Is. Awesome.
Cross posted at
It's also because of that summer that I can understand the frustration of the narrator in this book. I also highly recommend listening to the audio version narrated by Samuel L. Jackson while reading. No one can throw down vulgarities like my man Samuel. He perfectly captures a loving, but tired parent's increasing tension and frustration while trying to coax a young'un into sleep until he finally reaches a Jules "And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger" Winnfield crescendo. And. It. Is. Awesome.
Cross posted at
March 27, 2017
I've read a lot of reviews on how this wonderful little poem reminded people of their own children or children in general.
Do you know what this reminded me of?
Myself.
As a child, I was known in my family for my erratic sleeping patterns. I used to silently roam the halls of my house at somewhere around 3 AM like a good old fashioned spirit. Almost gave heart attacks to many poor souls.
Ah, good times.
Now, about this poem.
Imagine that read by Samuel L Jackson!
It's just so awesome!
The first two lines of every stanza are really sweet and cute, followed by the lines that presented sheer hopelessness of every parent!
Many audio renditions of this short poem, including Samuel L Jackson's famous performance (5 min) are now available on YouTube. If you want a motherly version, try Jenifer Garner's rendition! (2 min)
Why are you still here? Go the fu...uhh, I mean, go to YouTube and listen to this now!
Do you know what this reminded me of?
Myself.
As a child, I was known in my family for my erratic sleeping patterns. I used to silently roam the halls of my house at somewhere around 3 AM like a good old fashioned spirit. Almost gave heart attacks to many poor souls.
Ah, good times.
Now, about this poem.
Imagine that read by Samuel L Jackson!
It's just so awesome!
The first two lines of every stanza are really sweet and cute, followed by the lines that presented sheer hopelessness of every parent!
Many audio renditions of this short poem, including Samuel L Jackson's famous performance (5 min) are now available on YouTube. If you want a motherly version, try Jenifer Garner's rendition! (2 min)
Why are you still here? Go the fu...uhh, I mean, go to YouTube and listen to this now!
June 21, 2011
So I was checking out Audible.com tonight and they were giving this away for free. And who was reading it? Samuel L. Jackson. I'm sure the text and pictures are hilarious in the print version, but with Mr. Motherfucker himself reading this, I nearly had a rupture from the laughter.
And it’s especially funny to me because I don’t have kids. So I’ll be dreaming about all you parents cursing your children as I’m getting a solid 8 to 9 hours of sleep tonight. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ......
And it’s especially funny to me because I don’t have kids. So I’ll be dreaming about all you parents cursing your children as I’m getting a solid 8 to 9 hours of sleep tonight. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ......
September 18, 2011
If Snakes on a Plane and Mother Goose's Nursery Rhymes had a baby it would be this audio book. It was pure genius to have Samuel L. Jackson narrate. I mean, who's inner Samuel L. Jackson doesn't come out when they are sleep deprived, right?
When I'm sleepy, I'm the nastiest person you would ever have the misfortune of meeting. But somehow fate would have it that I'd be
Last night at the ripe hour of 3 am, my 13 month old (who we have affectionately dubbed "Destructo" for his uncanny ability to destroy anything he gets his hands on) felt it was the perfect time to play with mommy and daddy. After one extreme acrobatic nursing session, our night went a little something like this:
*Destructo plays in between mama and dada on the bed*
Me: I can't function.
The Mister: I told you not to put him to bed early. Now he won't go back to sleep.
Me: IT WAS BEDTIME!
The Mister: Shhh! You'll wake the Diva.
Me: No I won't. She's done for the nig---
*In walks the Diva*
Me: Damn, damn, damn!
The Mister: I told you so.
Me: Shut up. Go put her back in bed.
*Destructo's toe lands in my eye and he appropriately laughs*
The Mister: She's back in bed.
Me: Good. Now handle your son.
The Mister: He doesn't want me. He wants to go play.
**Suddenly, the voice of Samuel L. Jackson fills my mind.**
You know where you can go? The fuck to sleep!
Me: Amen!
The Mister: What?
Me: Nothing.
*We head downstairs. He plays. I curse my life in the corner silently.*
About 2 hours later we finally got Destructo back to sleep. Around here sleep is more precious than gold. So if you ever happen to visit during bedtime, we have a strict OCD like ritual you must adhere to. We turn the portable fans on for white noise. If this makes you cold, tuff ninnies! Don't use the microwave. Cold food wont kill ya. Put your damn phone on vibrate. And for the love of all things cheesy, don't flush the fucking toilet! Goodnight.
More reviews and more at .
December 16, 2015
First, thank you StumbleUpon, for taking me to , and allowing me to experience the audio reading of this book, with accompanying video of the illustrations. It was awesome.
I think if I had read this on my own... 3 stars maybe. It was cute, kinda witty, but nothing spectacular. But I gave this 5 stars. And called it 'awesome'.
Why? Four words: Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson.
That's right. Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson. And for all 6 minutes of this audio, I was enthralled, laughing and empathizing. I think that Mr. Motherfucking Jackson added so much to this experience, that I think that the book should be sold with a CD of this, so that parents can push play, Mr. Motherfucking Jackson can read to the kids, and mom and dad can have some alone time.
BET those kids stay the fuck in bed, too. O_O
But honestly, the reading was spectacular. I know, I know... It's a 6 minute long reading of a for-adults-at-kids'-bed-time story, but Mr. Motherfucking Jackson MADE this reading. You can hear him losing his patience, mentally counting to 5, or 10, or 100 maybe, so that he keeps from putting the kid to sleep the violent way. You can hear his desperation, sleep deprivation, pleading need for a rest... just 5 minutes without "Mommy can I..." or "Daddy I need..."s. You can feel his dread that this will continue, every night, forever, and that he will lose it, and that he will snap, and CPS will be called and his life will be ruined, and all because little Mr. Motherfucking Jackson Jr wouldn't Go The Fuck To Sleep.
Brilliant.
I think if I had read this on my own... 3 stars maybe. It was cute, kinda witty, but nothing spectacular. But I gave this 5 stars. And called it 'awesome'.
Why? Four words: Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson.
That's right. Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson. And for all 6 minutes of this audio, I was enthralled, laughing and empathizing. I think that Mr. Motherfucking Jackson added so much to this experience, that I think that the book should be sold with a CD of this, so that parents can push play, Mr. Motherfucking Jackson can read to the kids, and mom and dad can have some alone time.
BET those kids stay the fuck in bed, too. O_O
But honestly, the reading was spectacular. I know, I know... It's a 6 minute long reading of a for-adults-at-kids'-bed-time story, but Mr. Motherfucking Jackson MADE this reading. You can hear him losing his patience, mentally counting to 5, or 10, or 100 maybe, so that he keeps from putting the kid to sleep the violent way. You can hear his desperation, sleep deprivation, pleading need for a rest... just 5 minutes without "Mommy can I..." or "Daddy I need..."s. You can feel his dread that this will continue, every night, forever, and that he will lose it, and that he will snap, and CPS will be called and his life will be ruined, and all because little Mr. Motherfucking Jackson Jr wouldn't Go The Fuck To Sleep.
Brilliant.
July 18, 2011
Cute. Marginally clever one-trick pony. The sad part is that as clever and as cute as this is, Mansbach isn't a good enough writer for the concept. It could have been far, far funnier, instead of relying on the constant repetition of "fuck" to carry the weight. I especially liked the page with the tiger, but mostly it was an exercise in regret that this book was not in the hands of someone like Dr. Seuss or even better, Philip Larkin. Two and a half stars, more for concept than execution.
September 5, 2018
I ordered this book mostly because of the great title (didn’t we all?). And every page contains a “fuck,� so you get your fill of this useful expletive. The problem is, that’s all there is.
I knew I was getting an adult book disguised as a kid’s picture book, but I thought it would be heftier—a long prose poem, for instance. But no. Glance at it, and you’re done. How did I know I’d get 14 teensy pages with four lines of poetry on each page? Lower my expectations, I tell myself. Yes, it’s funny, but it’s basically a short, clever email message with a bunch of cute drawings.
As you can gather from the title, the book is about a frustrated dad trying to talk his kid into going to sleep. He tries to be all cutesy and soothing when really he’s about to jump out of his skin. It made me chuckle, but I realize I’d appreciate the book more if I still had little kids.
Luckily I paid less than 5 bucks for it—but still, email messages, even with pictures, are free. Trying to look at its worth, I must say it would make a great gift for parents of little kids. Or you can put it on your coffee table to entertain nervous guests, though your old-school grandmother or uptight boss might be uneasy with “fuck� glaring at them from every page.
Cute and funny book? Yes. Juicy or substantial? Get the fuck out of here!
Update September 2018:
Have to add this link to the audio version, read by Samuel L. Jackson. It’s just too good! I love his voice and intonations! Thanks to Kelly (and the Book Boar) for letting me know about it.
I knew I was getting an adult book disguised as a kid’s picture book, but I thought it would be heftier—a long prose poem, for instance. But no. Glance at it, and you’re done. How did I know I’d get 14 teensy pages with four lines of poetry on each page? Lower my expectations, I tell myself. Yes, it’s funny, but it’s basically a short, clever email message with a bunch of cute drawings.
As you can gather from the title, the book is about a frustrated dad trying to talk his kid into going to sleep. He tries to be all cutesy and soothing when really he’s about to jump out of his skin. It made me chuckle, but I realize I’d appreciate the book more if I still had little kids.
Luckily I paid less than 5 bucks for it—but still, email messages, even with pictures, are free. Trying to look at its worth, I must say it would make a great gift for parents of little kids. Or you can put it on your coffee table to entertain nervous guests, though your old-school grandmother or uptight boss might be uneasy with “fuck� glaring at them from every page.
Cute and funny book? Yes. Juicy or substantial? Get the fuck out of here!
Update September 2018:
Have to add this link to the audio version, read by Samuel L. Jackson. It’s just too good! I love his voice and intonations! Thanks to Kelly (and the Book Boar) for letting me know about it.
February 18, 2017
5 Best.Bedtime.Story.Ever! stars
I must admit I'm still wondering if I should let my son listen to this little gem or not.
I'm sure he'll love it. And laugh about it. And that would just incite him more instead of helping him fall asleep.
You simply need to listen to Samuel L. Jackson reading this! He does an amazing job.
I must admit I'm still wondering if I should let my son listen to this little gem or not.
I'm sure he'll love it. And laugh about it. And that would just incite him more instead of helping him fall asleep.
You simply need to listen to Samuel L. Jackson reading this! He does an amazing job.
March 27, 2017
Bwahahahaha. Definitely written by a parent - a very tired parent who just wanted some peace.
This is a short and simple book with a few pages of rhymes about a father's desperate attempts to get his child to sleep and all the excuses a child can come up with when it's just not tired.
What really made this perfect was the narration of this audio edition by none other than Samuel L. Jackson (as well as the story he told before narrating it, about his daughter and their code phrase when it was her bedtime). *lol*
By the way: no, I don't mind swearing at all. The star I deducted was for the sometimes not too original rhymes. You can keep it simple and yet rhyme a little bit better (more variety).
This is a short and simple book with a few pages of rhymes about a father's desperate attempts to get his child to sleep and all the excuses a child can come up with when it's just not tired.
What really made this perfect was the narration of this audio edition by none other than Samuel L. Jackson (as well as the story he told before narrating it, about his daughter and their code phrase when it was her bedtime). *lol*
By the way: no, I don't mind swearing at all. The star I deducted was for the sometimes not too original rhymes. You can keep it simple and yet rhyme a little bit better (more variety).
December 15, 2024
با تشکر از حمید بابت معرفی و لینک. کتاب رو با خوانش ساموئل ال جکسون گوش دادم که یه خاطره هم از خودش اولش تعریف میکن�.
همچین از ته دلش اون برو بگیر بکپ ها رو میگه که فقط میتونی بگی چشم و بری سمت خوابیدن!:))
خلاصه که خواستید بخونید/گوش بدید به لینکی که حمید گذاشته مراجعه کنین؛ تجربه خوبیه.
همچین از ته دلش اون برو بگیر بکپ ها رو میگه که فقط میتونی بگی چشم و بری سمت خوابیدن!:))
خلاصه که خواستید بخونید/گوش بدید به لینکی که حمید گذاشته مراجعه کنین؛ تجربه خوبیه.
December 14, 2024
یکی از دلایلی که خیلی مایل نیستم بچهدا� بشم اینه که پیشبین� میکنم اگر فرآیند به خواب رفتن بچه� از همون ابتدای خردسالی چیزی بیشتر از "من رفتم بخوابم مامان، شب بخیر" باشه، اینجوری باهاش حرف میزنم :)))
August 21, 2024
5 please go the f*ck to sleep stars!!
For a hilarious bedtime story for parents everywhere.
This was absolutely brilliant!!!
Thank you Jennifer for the tip and Adina for the link. 😘
I listened to the audio narrated by Samuel L. Jackson and what can I say?! Hilarious but absolutely honest and real. Brilliant! Or, better said, motherf*cking brilliant!
Let's face it. None of us are angels! I doubt there's any parent in this whole wide world who hasn't been there. Even the most loving parents can sometimes loose their patience trying to win the battle with the little champ at bedtime.
You know you are pissed and cannot really help it because you're exhausted and practically falling off your feet. And boy do you feel like a shitty parent!!!
We all think it and some of us may even say it, at the end of an exhausting hard day when patience is at an end and the little one just won't go to sleep. This books sends a message with every single page: We've all been there at one time or another!
Some may curse more and some not so much, but each and everyone of us can empathize.
At least he had the guts to say it outright!!!!
If you're in a mood for a good laugh as well as a bit of comfort in knowing that you are not alone in loosing patience at times, give this little book a try. It's real life experience and an universal truth that one cannot stop laughing at, because it is unquestionably real!
We may hate to admit it but, deep down inside, we just know it's true!
Check out this review and more over at
For a hilarious bedtime story for parents everywhere.
This was absolutely brilliant!!!
Thank you Jennifer for the tip and Adina for the link. 😘
I listened to the audio narrated by Samuel L. Jackson and what can I say?! Hilarious but absolutely honest and real. Brilliant! Or, better said, motherf*cking brilliant!
Let's face it. None of us are angels! I doubt there's any parent in this whole wide world who hasn't been there. Even the most loving parents can sometimes loose their patience trying to win the battle with the little champ at bedtime.
You know you are pissed and cannot really help it because you're exhausted and practically falling off your feet. And boy do you feel like a shitty parent!!!
We all think it and some of us may even say it, at the end of an exhausting hard day when patience is at an end and the little one just won't go to sleep. This books sends a message with every single page: We've all been there at one time or another!
Some may curse more and some not so much, but each and everyone of us can empathize.
At least he had the guts to say it outright!!!!
If you're in a mood for a good laugh as well as a bit of comfort in knowing that you are not alone in loosing patience at times, give this little book a try. It's real life experience and an universal truth that one cannot stop laughing at, because it is unquestionably real!
We may hate to admit it but, deep down inside, we just know it's true!
Check out this review and more over at
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