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If You Bite & Devour One Another
Conflict in churches is a pervasive problem we know all too well. If You Bite & Devour One Another is the only book of its kind, examining all the biblical passages on conflict and outlining key scriptural principles for handling various kinds of conflicts among Christian--whether personal disputes, issues of Christian liberty in lifestyles, congregational matters, or disagreements about important doctrines. The book emphasizes Spirit-controlled attitudes and behaviors through solid Bible exposition and true-to-life stories of Christians handling real-life conflicts in a Christ-honoring way.
192 pages, Paperback
First published April 18, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
July 30, 2024
While not the most exhaustive book on the topic of church conflict, this was nonetheless helpful. It's a fairly accessible book, hardly Calvin's 'Institutes', succinct in its nature. The main cause of its helpfulness lies behind its both provoking and challenging Biblical literacy, as well as challenging the attitude borne towards that literacy. Strauch makes use of handy examples, demonstrating the ways in which various conflicts can be manifested and the ways to handle them, hence why I laud its accessibility. If nothing else, this was a great reminder of just how much God loathes conflicts between believers, and an excellent exhortation to strive for peace.
May 4, 2024
A little gem! Highly recommend for pastors.
June 23, 2021
Helpful book on handling conflict among Christian believers, covering 10 principles drawn from Scripture. The title suggests something more edgy than it actually was, but ultimately a sensible and straightforward read.
March 23, 2023
Concise, thorough, practical, balanced, referenceable, Biblical.
March 30, 2024
Nothing revelatory, but a good and faithful treatment of how discord happens and how it can be prevented. Just a really good reminder that humility and grace and a willingness to listen can work wonders in a conflict.
March 14, 2024
This book is fantastic. Incredibly convicting and hard to read because of it. It made me rethink all of my disagreements, how I handled myself in the past, and how I hope to handle myself in the future.
The majority of the book is stuff we should know, but still need to be told. No matter the disagreement we are always told to check our anger, watch our tongue, and do not sin. We will be held accountable for what we say and do even in the heat of an argument, or even in the defense of God. There is no call for anger, to be quarrelsome, or to let untruthful or hurtful statements from your mouth.
We should know this, but we often need to be told this. I kept hoping for the other foot to drop . . . don't be angry until they are angry first. Don't attack and fight back until they attack you. Keep the moral high road until it is convenient, easy, or more profitable to mud wrestle. That part is never coming. There is no other side coming. As God's people we are called, and enabled, to live lives where we don't need to defend ourselves with anger, or meet every angry accusation with an angry rebuttal. It's hard to read, even harder to put into practice; the only perfect example is Christ being put through a sham trail and then executed. He never fought back, never became angry, and is the ultimate example of allowing bad things to happen while He maintains His composure.
The next section is about Church Discipline. A subject missing from our churches, largely ignored, or misused over any slight perceived disagreement one has with the pastor. The steps are simple: try to be reconciled with your brother one-on-one. If they refuse to acknowledge their wrong doing, then take a group of witnesses. These witness are not passive observers, but are called to investigate and get both sides of the story, the witnesses actually have to do work and get to the bottom of the problem. The witnesses then confront the person in the wrong and seek to show him the sin he has committed. If the person continues to refuse to acknowledge their sin, then it is brought to the congregation and the congregation seeks to show this person the error of their ways. If the sin is sill not confessed and repented, then the person is removed from social fellowship and the church no longer has anything to do with them other than pray with them.
There is a lot of really solid practical matters from 30+ years of ministry that Pastor Strauch brings to the table. DON'T hold the special congregational meetings on Sunday mornings, but have special meeting for these. DON'T keep the entire congregation in the dark, don't gossip, but make sure you stop any gossip as well. DO seek reconciliation with a brother over anything else.
This is incredibly difficult; my only experience with church discipline was a pastor we had left 3 years earlier seeking to stop me from becoming a speaker at a church because I called him on his false teaching. He brought in the elders to take his side, they sat quietly while he leveled all sorts of accusations at me and my family. Including calling my kids distractions during his preaching.
Like I said, this book brought up a lot of very difficult memories that I'm trying to work through, and it's made me rethink a lot of the decisions I've had to make and a lot of the church trauma I've gone through.
Finally, probably the best section of the book is the last two chapters. One deals directly with false teachers, teachers who teach a gospel contrary to what is in the Bible; the second deals with differences over church doctrine.
False teachers are to be confronted and avoided. We don't engage them simply because that gives legitimacy to their erroneous teaching. This is still done in accordance with the first section of the book. In love, with peace, and with the intent being to win the lost and protect the flock.
I wanted more from his section about differences in doctrine. He readily admits that this is incredibly challenging, and tells believers to focus on what we have in common as opposed to where we split doctrinally.
How far does this go? Keep the main thing the main thing (Christ crucified and resurrected), but then . . . work through the rest with patience and being willing to agree to disagree.
Realize that his examples are not color of carpet, heating systems, VBS programs, or any number of stupid things we fight about. One of his examples is woman's roles in ministry, one is same-sex marriage, one is baptism, one is authority of scripture; I mean, there is a large range here of very important v. non-important doctrines.
By far the hardest thing to do in all of this is to know where to draw the line between what we are going to consider worthy of a fight and what we just agree to disagree over. His example of Whitefield and Wycoff and the doctrine of election is a far cry from same-sex marriage, his example premillennialism and amillennialism is worlds apart from woman pastors v. no woman pastors.
He admits this, and is really trying to stick to how we deal with conflict as members of the Body of Christ. He admits that many of these things need to be contested and can't just be agree-to-disagree matters.
This is hard. Depending on how you chose to look at these doctrines, it becomes very easy for small doctrinal matters to become church shaking scandals. This is the downgrade controversy, and false teaching, NAR, and cults use this stuff to worm their way into the Body.
The false teacher I had to deal with confided in me that he didn't believe the Bible was inerrant or sufficient (he refused to repent of these comments or admit that he said them), he had no problem with woman in ministry, denied any difference between Catholic and Protestant, believes that someday man will stop sinning, and thinks that God has plans to "reverse sin." He told my kids that death was scary, believes the Trinity was added to the Bible much later, is open to tongues and miracles, believes we can find truth outside the Bible (he held up Rob Bell as a great-thinker), applauded The Shack showing God as a black woman, and insisted I read the NAR (New Apostolic Reformation) systematic theology book. He then denied ever saying or doing any of this, was mad that I told the elders what all he had said and done, tried to place me under church discipline (three years later) for guest speaking at a church, and I have strong suspicions he called the church to get me in trouble with them and end my time there.
Did I handle myself with the love and peace of Jesus Christ? No. I made mistakes as well. But which of these items should I just agree-to-disagree with and seek peace and unity?
This is hard stuff. It isn't easy. But this book is about as clear and convicting as you can get.
The majority of the book is stuff we should know, but still need to be told. No matter the disagreement we are always told to check our anger, watch our tongue, and do not sin. We will be held accountable for what we say and do even in the heat of an argument, or even in the defense of God. There is no call for anger, to be quarrelsome, or to let untruthful or hurtful statements from your mouth.
We should know this, but we often need to be told this. I kept hoping for the other foot to drop . . . don't be angry until they are angry first. Don't attack and fight back until they attack you. Keep the moral high road until it is convenient, easy, or more profitable to mud wrestle. That part is never coming. There is no other side coming. As God's people we are called, and enabled, to live lives where we don't need to defend ourselves with anger, or meet every angry accusation with an angry rebuttal. It's hard to read, even harder to put into practice; the only perfect example is Christ being put through a sham trail and then executed. He never fought back, never became angry, and is the ultimate example of allowing bad things to happen while He maintains His composure.
The next section is about Church Discipline. A subject missing from our churches, largely ignored, or misused over any slight perceived disagreement one has with the pastor. The steps are simple: try to be reconciled with your brother one-on-one. If they refuse to acknowledge their wrong doing, then take a group of witnesses. These witness are not passive observers, but are called to investigate and get both sides of the story, the witnesses actually have to do work and get to the bottom of the problem. The witnesses then confront the person in the wrong and seek to show him the sin he has committed. If the person continues to refuse to acknowledge their sin, then it is brought to the congregation and the congregation seeks to show this person the error of their ways. If the sin is sill not confessed and repented, then the person is removed from social fellowship and the church no longer has anything to do with them other than pray with them.
There is a lot of really solid practical matters from 30+ years of ministry that Pastor Strauch brings to the table. DON'T hold the special congregational meetings on Sunday mornings, but have special meeting for these. DON'T keep the entire congregation in the dark, don't gossip, but make sure you stop any gossip as well. DO seek reconciliation with a brother over anything else.
This is incredibly difficult; my only experience with church discipline was a pastor we had left 3 years earlier seeking to stop me from becoming a speaker at a church because I called him on his false teaching. He brought in the elders to take his side, they sat quietly while he leveled all sorts of accusations at me and my family. Including calling my kids distractions during his preaching.
Like I said, this book brought up a lot of very difficult memories that I'm trying to work through, and it's made me rethink a lot of the decisions I've had to make and a lot of the church trauma I've gone through.
Finally, probably the best section of the book is the last two chapters. One deals directly with false teachers, teachers who teach a gospel contrary to what is in the Bible; the second deals with differences over church doctrine.
False teachers are to be confronted and avoided. We don't engage them simply because that gives legitimacy to their erroneous teaching. This is still done in accordance with the first section of the book. In love, with peace, and with the intent being to win the lost and protect the flock.
I wanted more from his section about differences in doctrine. He readily admits that this is incredibly challenging, and tells believers to focus on what we have in common as opposed to where we split doctrinally.
How far does this go? Keep the main thing the main thing (Christ crucified and resurrected), but then . . . work through the rest with patience and being willing to agree to disagree.
Realize that his examples are not color of carpet, heating systems, VBS programs, or any number of stupid things we fight about. One of his examples is woman's roles in ministry, one is same-sex marriage, one is baptism, one is authority of scripture; I mean, there is a large range here of very important v. non-important doctrines.
By far the hardest thing to do in all of this is to know where to draw the line between what we are going to consider worthy of a fight and what we just agree to disagree over. His example of Whitefield and Wycoff and the doctrine of election is a far cry from same-sex marriage, his example premillennialism and amillennialism is worlds apart from woman pastors v. no woman pastors.
He admits this, and is really trying to stick to how we deal with conflict as members of the Body of Christ. He admits that many of these things need to be contested and can't just be agree-to-disagree matters.
This is hard. Depending on how you chose to look at these doctrines, it becomes very easy for small doctrinal matters to become church shaking scandals. This is the downgrade controversy, and false teaching, NAR, and cults use this stuff to worm their way into the Body.
The false teacher I had to deal with confided in me that he didn't believe the Bible was inerrant or sufficient (he refused to repent of these comments or admit that he said them), he had no problem with woman in ministry, denied any difference between Catholic and Protestant, believes that someday man will stop sinning, and thinks that God has plans to "reverse sin." He told my kids that death was scary, believes the Trinity was added to the Bible much later, is open to tongues and miracles, believes we can find truth outside the Bible (he held up Rob Bell as a great-thinker), applauded The Shack showing God as a black woman, and insisted I read the NAR (New Apostolic Reformation) systematic theology book. He then denied ever saying or doing any of this, was mad that I told the elders what all he had said and done, tried to place me under church discipline (three years later) for guest speaking at a church, and I have strong suspicions he called the church to get me in trouble with them and end my time there.
Did I handle myself with the love and peace of Jesus Christ? No. I made mistakes as well. But which of these items should I just agree-to-disagree with and seek peace and unity?
This is hard stuff. It isn't easy. But this book is about as clear and convicting as you can get.
Read
December 15, 2012Good book. The author Alexander Strauch is able to write this book with a pastoral heart. Addresses the issue of Christian and conflict. Admonishes the believers to act in the Spirit, love and humility, while controlling anger, tongue and criticism and pursing reconciliation and peace. A good work for the pastor to use for counseling with a believer on addressing conflicts biblically. Also has two chapters on facing false teachers and controversy respectively, which balances the book lest one thinks that a Christian should avoid conflict at all costs, even at the expense of the Gospel. Balance book, and convicting. Don't forget to also read the appendix--which I appreciated and wish he would develop it into a chapter length, focusing on how sanctification occurs with our union with Christ. Recommended!
September 1, 2012
Fantastic book, one that is greatly needed pretty much everywhere.
November 17, 2020
We live in a world of conflict. Families are in conflict. Nations are in conflict. Political parties are in conflict. Even in the church there is conflict. So, what does the Bible have to say about conflict? As it turns out, the Bible has much to say about handling conflict. And, spoiler alert, the Scripture overwhelmingly puts the onus on me to resolve conflict instead of waiting for someone else to initiate resolution.
Alexander Strauch takes the title for his book from Galatians 5:15. The Galatians were in danger of "biting and devouring one another" through their conflict over the nature of the gospel. Paul provides a memorable word picture of the damage conflict inflicts on its unwitting victims. Strauch does an excellent job tracing the causes and the principles of handling conflict. Strauch's book is not creative--it isn't mean to be. Rather, Strauch's book is Biblically faithful.
This is an excellent book for a small group Bible study, or for a family or a group of friends. If you or someone you love is facing conflict (and, let's face it, who isn't these days?), then read this book for practical help and a firm, Biblical understanding of the subject. Happy reading!
Alexander Strauch takes the title for his book from Galatians 5:15. The Galatians were in danger of "biting and devouring one another" through their conflict over the nature of the gospel. Paul provides a memorable word picture of the damage conflict inflicts on its unwitting victims. Strauch does an excellent job tracing the causes and the principles of handling conflict. Strauch's book is not creative--it isn't mean to be. Rather, Strauch's book is Biblically faithful.
This is an excellent book for a small group Bible study, or for a family or a group of friends. If you or someone you love is facing conflict (and, let's face it, who isn't these days?), then read this book for practical help and a firm, Biblical understanding of the subject. Happy reading!
March 25, 2024
A reference guide to life together
In this book Strauch goes in depth into how to handle conflict in the Church. While I believe his tactic of creating "real world examples" can feel a bit caricatured, he does an incredible job of speaking truth through Scriptural examples as well.
I would say this book really shines in it's formatting of it's chapters. It seems to have been built as a reference guild to Christian conflict and it does it well. Each chapter is clear in it's intentions and is broken down into sections which are broken down into subsections which footnotes filled with the breath of life we call our Bible.
I encourage everyone to read this if they are dealing with Christian conflict in their lives, but also, if you are struggling with what the Bible says about how to deal with the even harder parts of Christian conflict, such as false teachers and unrepentant church members.
This book fills one with more knowledge of the Word and a confidence in understanding the Word being spoken.
In this book Strauch goes in depth into how to handle conflict in the Church. While I believe his tactic of creating "real world examples" can feel a bit caricatured, he does an incredible job of speaking truth through Scriptural examples as well.
I would say this book really shines in it's formatting of it's chapters. It seems to have been built as a reference guild to Christian conflict and it does it well. Each chapter is clear in it's intentions and is broken down into sections which are broken down into subsections which footnotes filled with the breath of life we call our Bible.
I encourage everyone to read this if they are dealing with Christian conflict in their lives, but also, if you are struggling with what the Bible says about how to deal with the even harder parts of Christian conflict, such as false teachers and unrepentant church members.
This book fills one with more knowledge of the Word and a confidence in understanding the Word being spoken.
December 8, 2018
Strauch writes in an exciting, engaging and informed manner on a topic that naturally would crush the pastoral heart of the Christian reader. I enjoyed the concise nature of and how accessible/easily comprehensible the text was. His real-life re-enactments, anecdotal illustrations and quotations of notable theologians/practitioners are spot-on, providing clarity and exemplification of the substantives.
I appreciated how the content was grounded in and with constant reference to Scripture; other well-meaning authors who base their material on their wisdom and experience, unfortunately, cannot provide the godly encouragement and direction that God's Word can. I thoroughly enjoyed and was so enriched by this book (that I borrowed from my school library) - I bought one copy to keep on my bookshelf of 6-star books.
I appreciated how the content was grounded in and with constant reference to Scripture; other well-meaning authors who base their material on their wisdom and experience, unfortunately, cannot provide the godly encouragement and direction that God's Word can. I thoroughly enjoyed and was so enriched by this book (that I borrowed from my school library) - I bought one copy to keep on my bookshelf of 6-star books.
September 7, 2020
I did this as a bible study with a friend. It was great, and the biggest thing I got out of it is that we should always keep the goals and will of God in mind, always being concerned for the soul of those we are in conflict with, and looking at the Gospel for how to deal with others in a loving manner. We must deal with others as Christ would.
June 22, 2021
A thoroughly Biblical guide to Christ-centred, God-honouring, truth-preserving conflict resolution in the context of the local church. If you have never been or seen a conflict among believers, this would probably be an abstract read for you, however, if you are in the middle of something and you want an aid that will help you think Biblically about it, this will feel like a step-by-step guide. It covers a wide range of issues that can crop up among God's people, seeking to deal with them in a manner faithful to the Bible, and without the modern gimmicks.
May 10, 2023
This is a great, accessible resource for handling conflict in the church, particularly before it has started, but can also be good if there is already conflict between believers. I highly recommend this book for any Christian.
December 23, 2018
This book is a dry read, but it has valuable, perceptive teaching.
June 9, 2020
Wow! This book was convicting and so helpful. It is easy to read and loaded in with Scripture. Every Christian should read this, especially in the present climate.
January 22, 2021
Best book on conflict
June 8, 2012
Like you'd expect if you're familiar with Strauch at all, this is a straightforward biblical treatment of his topic. Strauch is biblical, direct, and relatively simple in his writing style. I really appreciated the call to a biblical perspective of handling conflict.
Cons
At times, Strauch's hypotheticals struck me as...cheesy. Also, his quotes at time lack any "punch" and at others seem to be set up poorly. Of the three books of his that I have read, I feel this is the least well-written.
Overall
Worth the read simply for the biblical worldview. Also, the appendix on the word "flesh" is a great word study.
Cons
At times, Strauch's hypotheticals struck me as...cheesy. Also, his quotes at time lack any "punch" and at others seem to be set up poorly. Of the three books of his that I have read, I feel this is the least well-written.
Overall
Worth the read simply for the biblical worldview. Also, the appendix on the word "flesh" is a great word study.
November 21, 2011
Strauch deals thoroughly with his subject matter and bring the reader face t face with practical steps for revolving conflict in the church. I found this book readable and helpful. I probably preferred Ken Sande's Book on Peacemaking - the two books involve a great deal of overlap. But, this is a good read!
October 8, 2013
This book does not deal with the practical issues related to conflict resolution, which is exactly the reason why I loved it. This book presents the Christ-like characteristics that every individual needs to deal with conflicts in a biblical manner. Very convicting and very encouraging all at once.
October 1, 2015
This book is the best I've read on dealing with conflict as a believer. As usual, Strauch stresses the importance of love for the believer and how that ought to be played out in dealing through conflict. This would be an essential book to go through as leaders and also for marriage counseling. As always, anything Strauch writes is golden.
February 6, 2015
Biting and devouring one another is bad. Strauch keeps it simple throughout the whole book and, in fact, sometimes I think his coverage is too simplistic. But I'm still grateful for, and would commend the book to others for, the clear reminders.
September 21, 2012
Really good. Convicting.
I wrote this blog post inspired on this book:
And Douglas Wilson has a short review here:
I wrote this blog post inspired on this book:
And Douglas Wilson has a short review here:
June 26, 2015
This is a must-read for any Christian. It is foundational in helping to correct and establish how we are to love one another and be faithful within ministry and fellowship. I wish Strauch had gone deeper or more detailed in areas, but appreciate his fierce and faithful application of scripture.
August 20, 2021
Needed book
I enjoyed this book. I’ve served as a senior pastor to over 30 years. I’ve seen firsthand what conflict can do to a church. The principles in this book are very helpful.
I enjoyed this book. I’ve served as a senior pastor to over 30 years. I’ve seen firsthand what conflict can do to a church. The principles in this book are very helpful.
April 19, 2012
A good primer on biblically thinking through conflict. Nothing earth shaking, but solid material.
December 23, 2012
Short but comprehensive look at church disunity, gospel, back-stabbing, etc.
February 24, 2014
Great book. Exegetical and applicable.
March 3, 2015
A good study of biblically dealing with conflict within the church and among Christians. Lots of scriptural support. I would recommend it.
November 24, 2014
An excellent book on relationships, communicating and showing the love taught us in Scripture.
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