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Where I Belong: Healing Trauma and Embracing Asian American Identity
An essential resource that addresses the unique experiences of trauma, healing, and mental health in Asian and Asian American communities.
Coauthors Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon are professional therapists who witnessed firsthand how mental health issues often went unaddressed not only in their own immigrant families, but in Asian and Asian American communities. Where I Belong shows us how the cycle of trauma can play out in our relationships, placing Asian American experiences front and center to help us process and heal from racial and intergenerational trauma.
This book validates our experiences and helps us understand how they fit into the broader context of our family history and the trauma experienced by previous generations. Lee and Yoon draw on their own stories, as well as those of a diverse segment of the Asian diaspora, to help us feel seen and connected to our wider community. They provide essential therapeutic tools, reflection questions, journal prompts, and grounding exercises to empower readers to identify their strengths and resilience across generations and to embrace the beauty and fullness of their own identity and culture.
Coauthors Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon are professional therapists who witnessed firsthand how mental health issues often went unaddressed not only in their own immigrant families, but in Asian and Asian American communities. Where I Belong shows us how the cycle of trauma can play out in our relationships, placing Asian American experiences front and center to help us process and heal from racial and intergenerational trauma.
This book validates our experiences and helps us understand how they fit into the broader context of our family history and the trauma experienced by previous generations. Lee and Yoon draw on their own stories, as well as those of a diverse segment of the Asian diaspora, to help us feel seen and connected to our wider community. They provide essential therapeutic tools, reflection questions, journal prompts, and grounding exercises to empower readers to identify their strengths and resilience across generations and to embrace the beauty and fullness of their own identity and culture.
320 pages, Hardcover
Published January 9, 2024
67 people are currently reading
1736 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
February 16, 2024
This is the book I needed like 5 years ago when I started going to therapy. An absolutely wonderful book for anyone who is Asian American and is reflecting on their own psychology and well-being. Also great for anyone that is trying to understand the Asian American experience!
I don't think I learned many new things from this, but it's a great entry-level/primer/Trauma 101 kind of book.
things I liked:
- how organized this book was
- the mix of information, stories, journaling prompts, and mindfulness exercises
- not proposing expensive solutions
- how authors tried their best and acknowledged that the Asian American experience is very very wide and very diverse within itself
- super easy to read
- left me feeling a lot more compassionate towards myself and very validated
things I disliked:
- that this book didn't come out when I was a young adult!!
- that there aren't more books like this one!!
I don't think I learned many new things from this, but it's a great entry-level/primer/Trauma 101 kind of book.
things I liked:
- how organized this book was
- the mix of information, stories, journaling prompts, and mindfulness exercises
- not proposing expensive solutions
- how authors tried their best and acknowledged that the Asian American experience is very very wide and very diverse within itself
- super easy to read
- left me feeling a lot more compassionate towards myself and very validated
things I disliked:
- that this book didn't come out when I was a young adult!!
- that there aren't more books like this one!!
October 3, 2024
"Where I Belong" had a promising premise but didn’t quite hit the mark for me. I picked it up because I’m a fan of Claire Jean Kim’s research, and I was hoping for a deeper dive into the complexities of how Asians are positioned in a predominantly white society. While the book touches on topics like the model minority myth and racial triangulation theory, it never fully explores them.
It felt like the book couldn’t quite decide on its audience. It seemed positioned as a resource for the healing journey of the Asian diaspora but read more like an introductory overview of the Asian American experience. The focus on personal stories and trauma might resonate with those less familiar with these issues, but as a second-generation immigrant, I found many of the narratives repetitive and lacking new insights.
The stories also lacked depth in describing how people moved past their struggles. They often skipped over the difficult parts and relied on vague statements like, “they connected with their emotions� or “reflected on their relationships.� It reminded me of that “How to Draw an Owl� meme—showing the first few steps, then jumping straight to the final picture without explaining the process in between.
Ultimately, the book might be a good starting point for those just beginning to explore their identity or healing, but it falls short for anyone looking for a deeper analysis or fresh perspective on these issues. It’s more about sharing and affirming common experiences than diving into theory or offering actionable insights.
It felt like the book couldn’t quite decide on its audience. It seemed positioned as a resource for the healing journey of the Asian diaspora but read more like an introductory overview of the Asian American experience. The focus on personal stories and trauma might resonate with those less familiar with these issues, but as a second-generation immigrant, I found many of the narratives repetitive and lacking new insights.
The stories also lacked depth in describing how people moved past their struggles. They often skipped over the difficult parts and relied on vague statements like, “they connected with their emotions� or “reflected on their relationships.� It reminded me of that “How to Draw an Owl� meme—showing the first few steps, then jumping straight to the final picture without explaining the process in between.
Ultimately, the book might be a good starting point for those just beginning to explore their identity or healing, but it falls short for anyone looking for a deeper analysis or fresh perspective on these issues. It’s more about sharing and affirming common experiences than diving into theory or offering actionable insights.
December 9, 2024
I really appreciate the wide range of perspectives and stories throughout this book. Towards the end, it felt like a lot of the same points were being rehashed, but overall a great introduction to Asian American identity and healing.
May 10, 2025
Learned so much, and will absolutely come back over and over again especially to do the journal prompts.
March 3, 2024
I absolutely loved this book. So thoughtfully written, and inclusive of many Asian identities (usually South Asians and Sri Lankans specifically are excluded from the Asian narrative), and countless new & creative journaling prompts that will set me for the year. I don’t say this often, but this might be a book I have to buy for myself one day because it is such a gem! I really liked that instead of just telling me about different sectors of the Asian American experience, I read real stories of real experiences that SHOWED the themes for each chapter and connected with key takeaways. I’m obsessed with how this whole collection was organized, even right down to the font, which is very aesthetic. I wish I didn’t have to return this to the library tomorrow�
May 2, 2025
It’s Asian American, Native Hawaiian, and Pacific Islander (AANHPI) month!Ìý
Starting the month off with Where I Belong: Healing Trauma and Embracing Asian American Identity by Soo Jin Lee, LMFT, and Linda Yoon, LCSW.ÌýWritten in reaction to anti-Asian hate post-COVID, Where I Belong feels like a vital resource for exploring trauma, healing, and mental health within Asian American communities.
Likes
* Many illustrative personal stories from a diverse Asian diaspora, including Southeast Asians, refugees, undocumented individuals, South Asians, queer voices, and more. I appreciate this so much because I feel like so many texts center primarily East Asians.
* Lots of culturally informed therapeutic tools, like reflective questions, journal prompts, and grounding techniques. This text is helpful as a workbook, and I definitely annotated the hell out of this book.
* Really enjoyed the chapters on bodily responses to racial identity; guilt, shame, and grief; self-compassion
* Acknowledges the ever-evolving nature of identity and connection
Other notes
-I wanted less history (although I liked l when it was more contextual) and more exploration of such theories like racial triangulation
-I think, like a lot of Asian American texts, it can feel too general or introductory, and wide-sweeping to address specific harms. The authors do their best to acknowledge this. Still, it’s a great starting point for those looking to address the cyle of trauma in Asian American individuals and communities.
Starting the month off with Where I Belong: Healing Trauma and Embracing Asian American Identity by Soo Jin Lee, LMFT, and Linda Yoon, LCSW.ÌýWritten in reaction to anti-Asian hate post-COVID, Where I Belong feels like a vital resource for exploring trauma, healing, and mental health within Asian American communities.
Likes
* Many illustrative personal stories from a diverse Asian diaspora, including Southeast Asians, refugees, undocumented individuals, South Asians, queer voices, and more. I appreciate this so much because I feel like so many texts center primarily East Asians.
* Lots of culturally informed therapeutic tools, like reflective questions, journal prompts, and grounding techniques. This text is helpful as a workbook, and I definitely annotated the hell out of this book.
* Really enjoyed the chapters on bodily responses to racial identity; guilt, shame, and grief; self-compassion
* Acknowledges the ever-evolving nature of identity and connection
Other notes
-I wanted less history (although I liked l when it was more contextual) and more exploration of such theories like racial triangulation
-I think, like a lot of Asian American texts, it can feel too general or introductory, and wide-sweeping to address specific harms. The authors do their best to acknowledge this. Still, it’s a great starting point for those looking to address the cyle of trauma in Asian American individuals and communities.
January 23, 2025
As a Filipina American and therapist, Where I Belong: Healing Trauma and Embracing Asian American Identity felt like it was written for me. This book not only uplifts the AANHPI community but also provides powerful tools like mindfulness meditations, journal prompts, and practical tips to explore identity and mental health.
What I loved most was how it normalizes the ever-changing nature of identity. For those of us in the diaspora who feel disconnected from our culture, this book offers hope and reassurance that there’s no "right" time or way to embrace who we are. It celebrates growth and evolution at every stage of life.
I learned that I am Cebuano two years before this book came out. Initially, I felt shame for not knowing this, even though I didn’t have access to my Filipino family and, therefore, wouldn't; I somehow felt it was my fault for not knowing. Reading this book helped remove any remnants of that shame. It gave me permission to embrace my identity, even as someone who doesn’t yet know all the details of my culture. The Cebuano people, indigenous to the Philippines, have a rich history, but not knowing that history firsthand doesn’t diminish my right to claim it. This book reminded me that identity is about connection, growth, and discovery, no matter when or how it happens.
Each chapter ends with a mindfulness technique and journal prompt. One new to me was butterfly tapping as a grounding technique—a simple and beautiful way to reconnect with the body. The book’s ability to break down complex concepts like "intersectionality" and define them in relatable terms also makes it an incredible educational tool—perfect for therapists working with AANHPI clients and readers wanting to deepen their understanding of their own experiences.
The focus on community building as essential for mental health, especially for AANHPI individuals, deeply resonated with me. It aligns so beautifully with cultural values and emphasizes the importance of connection. The encouragement to shift focus from self-criticism to small, neutral acknowledgments of progress felt so validating and actionable.
This book will make you think, cry, and feel seen. I recommend it to anyone in the AANHPI diaspora or working with this community, and honestly, I’m hoping for a part two!
Full disclosure: I know the authors—I've met them at book launches and had the pleasure of having them on my podcast. That said, their insights and compassionate writing make it hard not to give this book five stars.
What I loved most was how it normalizes the ever-changing nature of identity. For those of us in the diaspora who feel disconnected from our culture, this book offers hope and reassurance that there’s no "right" time or way to embrace who we are. It celebrates growth and evolution at every stage of life.
I learned that I am Cebuano two years before this book came out. Initially, I felt shame for not knowing this, even though I didn’t have access to my Filipino family and, therefore, wouldn't; I somehow felt it was my fault for not knowing. Reading this book helped remove any remnants of that shame. It gave me permission to embrace my identity, even as someone who doesn’t yet know all the details of my culture. The Cebuano people, indigenous to the Philippines, have a rich history, but not knowing that history firsthand doesn’t diminish my right to claim it. This book reminded me that identity is about connection, growth, and discovery, no matter when or how it happens.
Each chapter ends with a mindfulness technique and journal prompt. One new to me was butterfly tapping as a grounding technique—a simple and beautiful way to reconnect with the body. The book’s ability to break down complex concepts like "intersectionality" and define them in relatable terms also makes it an incredible educational tool—perfect for therapists working with AANHPI clients and readers wanting to deepen their understanding of their own experiences.
The focus on community building as essential for mental health, especially for AANHPI individuals, deeply resonated with me. It aligns so beautifully with cultural values and emphasizes the importance of connection. The encouragement to shift focus from self-criticism to small, neutral acknowledgments of progress felt so validating and actionable.
This book will make you think, cry, and feel seen. I recommend it to anyone in the AANHPI diaspora or working with this community, and honestly, I’m hoping for a part two!
Full disclosure: I know the authors—I've met them at book launches and had the pleasure of having them on my podcast. That said, their insights and compassionate writing make it hard not to give this book five stars.
December 21, 2024
I really wanted to be able to rave about this book because it initially seemed like a 2-day breakthrough therapy sesh, but as I got deeper, the content felt repetitive and barely scratched the surface of the significant topics, with each paragraph ending with a broad and oversimplified conclusion like an AP lang essay. I dog eared multiple grounding exercises that will surely come in handy for calming general anxiety but again didn’t feel specific or insightful to addressing the deep-rooted issues faced by the Asian community as it was seemingly built up to do (or maybe that was my own unrealistic expectation). This did make me extra grateful and nostalgic for VSA and PAN for providing a fun, supportive community to build my sense of identity and belonging in predominantly white spaces.
July 30, 2024
This book offers so much for Asian American mental health by including vignettes from South Asians and Asians living in America from so many different marginalized intersectional identities (immigrants, refugees, undocumented folks, bicultural and biracial, queer identities). The authors provide grounding exercises at the end of each chapter- trauma informed! I love it! This book is great for therapists who want to be more culturally informed, for Asian Americans who are beginning to think about their mental health, and for Asian Americans who are knee deep into their own mental health journey.
December 21, 2024
Asian Americans as a group is a very diverse population--there is simply is not "one" (or even a handful) of experiences that can sum up this diverse group. Lee and Yoon understood this from the start and made a conscious effort to input and share as many stories from varied backgrounds as possible for this book, which I appreciated. I read stories from a wide group of Asian Americans, which I feel like I would've had to read multiple books for if I was researching for on my own.
The book covers a wide range of struggles (e.g. domestic violence, historical/generational trauma, guilt/shame, the complex dynamics of being the "model minority", self-compassion and self-acceptance, etc.) that our community faces. Obviously in 320 pages the book can't provide a deep analysis into every subject, but I found the historical parts to be good introductory explanations to each topic.
The chapters are divided into three parts: providing historical data and background about the topic, sharing personal narratives from people with experiences with it, and then giving exercises to the reader for self-healing related to it (e.g. mindfulness exercises to calm your body, journaling prompts related to the topic for self-discovery, teaching skills for boundary setting or self-compassion, etc.). These exercises for self-healing might be familiar for someone who has been to therapy for a long time (such as myself) but regardless, I found them to be insightful still.
Overall, this is a great introductory book that covers a lot about how varied and wide our community is. I wish I had a book like this in my teenage years to hear other Asian American stories and learn that I wasn't so alone as I felt growing up.
The book covers a wide range of struggles (e.g. domestic violence, historical/generational trauma, guilt/shame, the complex dynamics of being the "model minority", self-compassion and self-acceptance, etc.) that our community faces. Obviously in 320 pages the book can't provide a deep analysis into every subject, but I found the historical parts to be good introductory explanations to each topic.
The chapters are divided into three parts: providing historical data and background about the topic, sharing personal narratives from people with experiences with it, and then giving exercises to the reader for self-healing related to it (e.g. mindfulness exercises to calm your body, journaling prompts related to the topic for self-discovery, teaching skills for boundary setting or self-compassion, etc.). These exercises for self-healing might be familiar for someone who has been to therapy for a long time (such as myself) but regardless, I found them to be insightful still.
Overall, this is a great introductory book that covers a lot about how varied and wide our community is. I wish I had a book like this in my teenage years to hear other Asian American stories and learn that I wasn't so alone as I felt growing up.
May 22, 2024
While I've heard of the Yellow Chair Collective (a psychotherapy group practice based in California), I first discovered Where I Belong through a colleague. Having read another Asian American mental health book Permission to Come Home, I looked forward seeing what therapists Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon had to offer for the Asian American community.
Addressing the unique experiences of trauma, healing, and mental health in Asian and Asian American communities, Lee and Yoon discuss the psychology of trauma to validate our experiences. They also share a variety of Asian American stories to help us feel more seen and connected. In addition, they offer therapeutic tools, questions, journal prompts, and grounding exercises to promote healing around identity and community.
It's hard to write a book about such a diverse group, though Lee and Yoon add the disclaimer that there's no one way to be Asian American and that was a reassuring takeaway, especially when identity is complicated. I appreciated the range of stories they shared with some being more relatable than others. The book is focused on trauma and if you already know a bit about it, it's nothing new, though I liked how it ties in the historical and systemic contexts of Asian migration. The exercises at the end of each chapter are welcome points of reflection. Compared to Permission to Come Home, this read a little more like a textbook rather than self-help outside of the stories and exercises, so maybe that's part of why it felt a little less engaging. Overall, Where I Belong is an important book for Asian American mental health.
Addressing the unique experiences of trauma, healing, and mental health in Asian and Asian American communities, Lee and Yoon discuss the psychology of trauma to validate our experiences. They also share a variety of Asian American stories to help us feel more seen and connected. In addition, they offer therapeutic tools, questions, journal prompts, and grounding exercises to promote healing around identity and community.
It's hard to write a book about such a diverse group, though Lee and Yoon add the disclaimer that there's no one way to be Asian American and that was a reassuring takeaway, especially when identity is complicated. I appreciated the range of stories they shared with some being more relatable than others. The book is focused on trauma and if you already know a bit about it, it's nothing new, though I liked how it ties in the historical and systemic contexts of Asian migration. The exercises at the end of each chapter are welcome points of reflection. Compared to Permission to Come Home, this read a little more like a textbook rather than self-help outside of the stories and exercises, so maybe that's part of why it felt a little less engaging. Overall, Where I Belong is an important book for Asian American mental health.
March 29, 2024
This book really is geared to the American Asian community. Lots of things can apply to the general reader. I really like the focus on Asian-Americans who can identify with what the author is getting across in this non-fiction book. This is a validation for the experiences and gives helpful understanding how Asian-Americans fit into the broader context of our family history and the trauma experienced by previous generations. The authors Lee and Yoon draw on their own stories as well as those of a diverse segent of the Asian population. The book provides therapeutic tools, reflection questions, journal prompts, and grounding exercises. All these things help the reader to recognize their strengths and determination across generations. This helps to embrace the their own identities and culture.
March 31, 2024
This book reads like a more trauma-focused version of Permission to Come Home. Similar themes of taking care of mental health and embracing Asian-American identity, but more practical exercises and more psychoeducation around trauma.
November 25, 2024
Very approachable and readable book with lots of history and easy-to-remember definitions.
It’s a lot of review for people who might already know some psychology or trauma terms, but the stories from real life people were lovely and affirming.
It’s a lot of review for people who might already know some psychology or trauma terms, but the stories from real life people were lovely and affirming.
December 19, 2024
Where I belong is a beautifully moving book that will resonate with Asian American readers and anyone who has felt they do not belong. The stories in the book are touching, salient, and help readers feel connected. A powerful read!
March 24, 2025
A great introduction if you are new to reading or thinking about the Asian American identity. I personally found it too general and wanted a deeper dive. However, I appreciate the tone of acceptance and validation. 3.5 stars.
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