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Things I've Learned from Dying: A Book About Life
"Every life is different, but every death is the same. We live with others. We die alone."
In his riveting, artfully written memoir The Autobiography of an Execution, David Dow enraptured readers with a searing and frank exploration of his work defending inmates on death row. But when Dow's father-in-law receives his own death sentence in the form of terminal cancer, and his gentle dog Winona suffers acute liver failure, the author is forced to reconcile with death in a far more personal way, both as a son and as a father.
Told through the disparate lenses of the legal battles he's spent a career fighting, and the intimate confrontations with death each family faces at home, Things I've Learned from Dying offers a poignant and lyrical account of how illness and loss can ravage a family. Full of grace and intelligence, Dow offers readers hope without cliché and reaffirms our basic human needs for acceptance and love by giving voice to the anguish we all face--as parents, as children, as partners, as friends--when our loved ones die tragically, and far too soon.
In his riveting, artfully written memoir The Autobiography of an Execution, David Dow enraptured readers with a searing and frank exploration of his work defending inmates on death row. But when Dow's father-in-law receives his own death sentence in the form of terminal cancer, and his gentle dog Winona suffers acute liver failure, the author is forced to reconcile with death in a far more personal way, both as a son and as a father.
Told through the disparate lenses of the legal battles he's spent a career fighting, and the intimate confrontations with death each family faces at home, Things I've Learned from Dying offers a poignant and lyrical account of how illness and loss can ravage a family. Full of grace and intelligence, Dow offers readers hope without cliché and reaffirms our basic human needs for acceptance and love by giving voice to the anguish we all face--as parents, as children, as partners, as friends--when our loved ones die tragically, and far too soon.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published December 1, 2013
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3,248 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 124 reviews
August 12, 2014
Author David Dow is a death penalty lawyer in Texas. He is also just a guy with a family and a job. But he writes about and intertwines his experiences with people (and pets, if you can imagine me reading that) who are about to die in a truly readable and beautiful way. From his clients on death row, to his father-in-law, to his beloved dog Winona, Dow wrote about these experiences and observations as eloquently as I have ever read.
This is the best book I've read all year. It's not an easy book to read, but it is a great book. If you like books that put you in a state of contemplation, then you'll love this book. It was written in very short "chapters" that made it easy to pick up and put down, not that I ever wanted to put it down.
This is the best book I've read all year. It's not an easy book to read, but it is a great book. If you like books that put you in a state of contemplation, then you'll love this book. It was written in very short "chapters" that made it easy to pick up and put down, not that I ever wanted to put it down.
May 18, 2016
This book was selected by my book group for an April 16th discussion. I wasn't sure I wanted to read it, but felt obligated. About 40 pages in, I realized this wasn't going to be what I had expected -- it took me a while to get used to the author's style of writing, but by page 46, I was hooked. Dow's interaction with death row inmates and the Texas criminal appellate system were interwoven with his personal recollections of dealing with his father-in-law's diagnosis and treatments for terminal cancer, as well as the severe illness and death of a beloved pet.
On a United flight from Chicago to Richmond, cruising at 35,000 feet and fighting back great big tears, I read the final pages of this book. The multiple damp round spots on the pages have dried; however, the book has left a lasting impact. I even took the time to write down several quotations on the back of my boarding pass. "... just because life is impossible is no reason not to enjoy it." (p. 186) "There is something worse than dying a slow death before you are ready to die. It is to die with regret." (p. 204) And a corollary to that, "I don't know if I've learned anything more important than to leave nothing unsaid." (p. 254) Very thought provoking. Very emotional for me.
On a United flight from Chicago to Richmond, cruising at 35,000 feet and fighting back great big tears, I read the final pages of this book. The multiple damp round spots on the pages have dried; however, the book has left a lasting impact. I even took the time to write down several quotations on the back of my boarding pass. "... just because life is impossible is no reason not to enjoy it." (p. 186) "There is something worse than dying a slow death before you are ready to die. It is to die with regret." (p. 204) And a corollary to that, "I don't know if I've learned anything more important than to leave nothing unsaid." (p. 254) Very thought provoking. Very emotional for me.
June 21, 2018
Mr. Dow shows through his book "Things I've Learned from Dying" a deep insight into the death regarding a comparison between the dead beings and the ones who have been left alive. This book has taught me how to live with the destiny of death.
Through the three chapters of this book, I was amazed at the beginning then I felt sadness at the middle then I cried a lot at the end.
David Dow is a unique author who can engage his readers to live with his book's characters and to make them feel their feelings.
This is the only book that I finished reading without my notice. I'm very lucky to have this book as a part of my yearly challenge. I highly recommend it to any reader who is passionate about reading nonfiction books on dying.
Through the three chapters of this book, I was amazed at the beginning then I felt sadness at the middle then I cried a lot at the end.
David Dow is a unique author who can engage his readers to live with his book's characters and to make them feel their feelings.
This is the only book that I finished reading without my notice. I'm very lucky to have this book as a part of my yearly challenge. I highly recommend it to any reader who is passionate about reading nonfiction books on dying.
January 22, 2014
Life teaches all of us many important lessons if we are paying attention. Sometimes we have to make mistakes in order to learn our lessons. Dow shows us through the deaths of his dog, his father-in-law, and his death row clients about living life. I was expecting it to be primarily about the morality of capital punishment. Happily it was not. The story balanced three entirely different deaths and brought them together by surrounding each with his personal experiences when faced with death. It was about choices people make when they die or those around them are in the dying process. It is a personal, heartfelt, and authentic story that draws us in to his world for moments in time and reveals life lessons to ponder. Very well done.
March 22, 2015
Dow is a death penalty lawyer who writes about the final months and then roughly contemporaneous deaths of his father-in-law, a reformed client, and the family dog. Each story is poignant and instructive in its own way but the commonalities among the experiences offer learnings about dying that point to empathy as the core of human goodness. For me, the joy, pain, and overall impact of the life and death of Winona, the family dog, seemed at least as powerful for the author, his wife and their son as were their human losses. A reminder to me that connection and meaning in our lives can arise from interactions with the very same shedding quadrupeds that chew my books, soil our rugs, and bark righteously at triggers that have never once preceded an actual threat.
January 31, 2019
Things I've Learned from Dying is a memoir written by David R.Dow, who is a death row lawyer. In this book, Dow talks about the inmates and his attempts to save their lives. The main client he focused on was Eddie Waterman. Dow explains the laws of the death sentence in Texas, saying that it is the state which has the strictest laws on the death row. But then, Dow's father-in-law receives his own death sentence. Terminal cancer. When things could not get worse, his dog Winona suffers from acute liver failure. He then has to learn to take death more personally. I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a book full of emotions.
January 28, 2014
Outstanding! I was immediately engaged with the author and the main characters in this memoir / meditation, as much as I am when reading a wonderful novel. Much of his prose has almost a lyrical quality, something that can be difficult to achieve when writing on such serious themes as he does. Dow writes with honesty and humility, and he has left me with much to think about. Even before I finished reading his excellent book, I found myself wishing I could meet him in person and "continue the conversation." I highly recommend this book as an extremely worthwhile use of one's time. (My only caveat is that since Dow includes, of necessity, some grim - and even grisly - material, parts of it might not be the best "just-before-bedtime" reading choice for someone who tends towards squeamishness.)
March 21, 2014
This was such a great book by such a great writer/lawyer/father. There are three stories going on at once but they all weave together gracefully. I would recommend this to anyone that has lost someone to cancer or lost a dog. It's a hard book to finish (because of the tears you will shed) but very rewarding once completed. Thank you David Dow.
October 18, 2021
Setiap kali keluar berita mahkamah menjatuhkan hukuman mati kepada pesalah, atau dokumentari mengenai banduan akhir, saya selalu terbaca komen sebegini di media sosial:
"Sekurang-kurangnya dia tahu bila dia akan mati, berbanding kita yang tak tahu bila ajal bakal menjemput."
Benarkah? Benarkah memangkah kalendar setiap hari bagi menghitung hari yang masih berbaki itu lebih baik daripada keluar rumah lalu dilanggar lori atau mati akibat nahas pesawat? Bukankah mereka yang mati kerana kemalangan itu juga tahu yang dia akan mati suatu hari nanti?
Persoalan inilah yang sebahagiannya cuba dijawab David R. Dow melalui pengalamannya sebagai 'death penalty lawyer'.
'Trial lawyer' mewakili klien mereka semasa perbicaraan mahkamah bagi membantu membuktikan yang si tertuduh tidak bersalah. Namun, apabila mahkamah telah menjatuhkan hukuman mati kepada pesalah, hakim akan melantik seorang 'death penalty lawyer' bagi membuat rayuan supaya pesalah diberi peluang untuk meneruskan hidup.
Semasa proses membuat kertas kerja, sebahagian banduan meminta peguam mereka menghentikan rayuan. Mereka telah bersedia untuk dihukum mati. Kebanyakan peguam berfikir banduan ini sudah tidak waras lalu cuba mengubah fikiran klien mereka. Banduan ini duduk di dalam sel penjara seluas 60 kaki persegi dengan hanya ada satu jalur cahaya yang memasuki tingkap. Tiada televisyen atau komputer dan dibenarkan mandi tiga kali seminggu. Dalam keadaan begini, keputusan mereka untuk rela dihukum mati adalah rasional.
Dalam buku ini, penulis menceritakan pengalaman menyelamatkan nyawa klien bernama Waterman. Waterman dihukum mati atas kesalahan membunuh semasa melakukan rompakan di stesen minyak. Pada masa yang sama, ayah mentua penulis disahkan menghidap kanser.
Ada dua strategi yang selalu digunakan oleh 'death penalty lawyer' bagi menyelamatkan klien mereka daripada hukuman mati. Yang pertama, mereka cuba mencari bukti yang 'trial lawyer' sebelumnya terlepas pandang dan seterusnya membuktikan yang klien mereka tidak bersalah sepenuhnya dalam menyebabkan kematian mangsa. Yang kedua, dengan memandang ke hadapan, iaitu membuktikan yang klien mereka telah pun insaf dan berkelakuan baik sepanjang di dalam penjara. Ini akan mengubah pendirian juri dan banduan ini ada peluang untuk menjalani hukuman penjara. Banduan ini seterusnya dianggap tidak lagi berbahaya untuk dilepaskan kepada masyarakat apabila hukuman penjara itu berakhir.
Saya lebih suka dengan strategi kedua kerana kita tidak boleh mengubah masa silam dan memadamkan apa yang telah terjadi. Namun, bagi kes Waterman, penulis memilih cara pertama. Dia mengambil kesaksian daripada dua orang pakar patologi forensik untuk membuktikan tembakan Waterman tidak membunuh mangsa.
Sepanjang membaca buku ini, saya diselubungi dengan pertanyaan. Dapatkah penulis menyelamatkan Waterman daripada hukuman mati? Dan dapatkah rawatan yang dijalani membantu ayah mentuanya untuk meneruskan hidup?
Saya belajar banyak tentang sistem keadilan jenayah di AS melalui buku ini.
"Sekurang-kurangnya dia tahu bila dia akan mati, berbanding kita yang tak tahu bila ajal bakal menjemput."
Benarkah? Benarkah memangkah kalendar setiap hari bagi menghitung hari yang masih berbaki itu lebih baik daripada keluar rumah lalu dilanggar lori atau mati akibat nahas pesawat? Bukankah mereka yang mati kerana kemalangan itu juga tahu yang dia akan mati suatu hari nanti?
Persoalan inilah yang sebahagiannya cuba dijawab David R. Dow melalui pengalamannya sebagai 'death penalty lawyer'.
'Trial lawyer' mewakili klien mereka semasa perbicaraan mahkamah bagi membantu membuktikan yang si tertuduh tidak bersalah. Namun, apabila mahkamah telah menjatuhkan hukuman mati kepada pesalah, hakim akan melantik seorang 'death penalty lawyer' bagi membuat rayuan supaya pesalah diberi peluang untuk meneruskan hidup.
Semasa proses membuat kertas kerja, sebahagian banduan meminta peguam mereka menghentikan rayuan. Mereka telah bersedia untuk dihukum mati. Kebanyakan peguam berfikir banduan ini sudah tidak waras lalu cuba mengubah fikiran klien mereka. Banduan ini duduk di dalam sel penjara seluas 60 kaki persegi dengan hanya ada satu jalur cahaya yang memasuki tingkap. Tiada televisyen atau komputer dan dibenarkan mandi tiga kali seminggu. Dalam keadaan begini, keputusan mereka untuk rela dihukum mati adalah rasional.
Dalam buku ini, penulis menceritakan pengalaman menyelamatkan nyawa klien bernama Waterman. Waterman dihukum mati atas kesalahan membunuh semasa melakukan rompakan di stesen minyak. Pada masa yang sama, ayah mentua penulis disahkan menghidap kanser.
Ada dua strategi yang selalu digunakan oleh 'death penalty lawyer' bagi menyelamatkan klien mereka daripada hukuman mati. Yang pertama, mereka cuba mencari bukti yang 'trial lawyer' sebelumnya terlepas pandang dan seterusnya membuktikan yang klien mereka tidak bersalah sepenuhnya dalam menyebabkan kematian mangsa. Yang kedua, dengan memandang ke hadapan, iaitu membuktikan yang klien mereka telah pun insaf dan berkelakuan baik sepanjang di dalam penjara. Ini akan mengubah pendirian juri dan banduan ini ada peluang untuk menjalani hukuman penjara. Banduan ini seterusnya dianggap tidak lagi berbahaya untuk dilepaskan kepada masyarakat apabila hukuman penjara itu berakhir.
Saya lebih suka dengan strategi kedua kerana kita tidak boleh mengubah masa silam dan memadamkan apa yang telah terjadi. Namun, bagi kes Waterman, penulis memilih cara pertama. Dia mengambil kesaksian daripada dua orang pakar patologi forensik untuk membuktikan tembakan Waterman tidak membunuh mangsa.
Sepanjang membaca buku ini, saya diselubungi dengan pertanyaan. Dapatkah penulis menyelamatkan Waterman daripada hukuman mati? Dan dapatkah rawatan yang dijalani membantu ayah mentuanya untuk meneruskan hidup?
Saya belajar banyak tentang sistem keadilan jenayah di AS melalui buku ini.
December 7, 2021
When I 1st discovered Mr. Dow’s work and decided to give it a try, knowing that the author himself had narrated the book, I was looking forward to to it. I normally enjoy when an author narrates their own story. If I were a writer I couldn’t imagine not reading my own book. It would be like allowing someone else to explain all the reasons why you love your child! Lol. But Mr. Dow started out as a bit of a letdown for me. I didn’t enjoy his delivery, tone, or overall cadence. Now though, after listening to my 2nd book of his I wouldn’t have it any other way. It took me some time to realize that his cadence is literally a giant PART of the story he’s telling.
In this one things are a lot closer to home and we deal with a lot more grief. It’s heavy. As always though these books are very thought-provoking. They force you to look at yourself and how your going about life. I really enjoy that. It’s also full of great conversation, touching on personal theories, opinions, and many mantras that are not only true, but wouldn’t hurt to adopt to oneself. Philosophy is a major subject with this author and he lays these conversations out and dissects them from everyone’s point of view that are affected in the story. He doesn’t try to come off as being smarter than anyone, he has a great ability to bring you along with him every step of the way…as I said.
If you do a little research into the book before using a credit, as I did, and your reading my review I advise you to go for it. You will not be disappointed. There’s also a strong sense of what all, or I’d say most middle-aged men deal with and it really resonated with me. I also love that Lincoln still “speaks� the same way even tho this book is a few years after the 1st book I read! Thank you for a great story Mr. Dow
In this one things are a lot closer to home and we deal with a lot more grief. It’s heavy. As always though these books are very thought-provoking. They force you to look at yourself and how your going about life. I really enjoy that. It’s also full of great conversation, touching on personal theories, opinions, and many mantras that are not only true, but wouldn’t hurt to adopt to oneself. Philosophy is a major subject with this author and he lays these conversations out and dissects them from everyone’s point of view that are affected in the story. He doesn’t try to come off as being smarter than anyone, he has a great ability to bring you along with him every step of the way…as I said.
If you do a little research into the book before using a credit, as I did, and your reading my review I advise you to go for it. You will not be disappointed. There’s also a strong sense of what all, or I’d say most middle-aged men deal with and it really resonated with me. I also love that Lincoln still “speaks� the same way even tho this book is a few years after the 1st book I read! Thank you for a great story Mr. Dow
September 3, 2018
This book seriously puts a lot of things in to perspective.
April 13, 2014
I found David Dow’s book “Things I’ve Learned From Dying� to be a powerful, moving, a book that renews ones faith in humanity.
The book deals with complex social and moral issues in a direct unflinching way.
It is a memoir written by a death-penalty lawyer (he founded the Texas Innocence Network) that details the complex and often unfair process of institutionalized death penalty specifically in the state of Texas.
He simultaneously extracts life lessons from period of time when he had to deal with three losses, his previously vigorous 60-year-old father-in-law to melanoma; of his beloved Doberman to sudden liver failure and of a legal battle to save the life of a particularly affecting prisoner on Texas’s death row.
While a sad tale I did not find the book to be depressing. I loved reading about his relationship with his own wife and son and how it evolved and grew due to the life/death lessons he presented.
Dow emphasized that the biggest lesson he learned (and there were many) was the ability to empathize. This touched a cord in me due to my personal feelings regarding the use of the death penalty in our country.
I highly recommend this book regardless of the stand one takes (pro or anti death penalty) and I will include it in my limited list of “one of my favorite books�.
As an aside I learned that the book was published by TWELVE 12, a book publishing company established in 2005 with the objective of publishing no more than one book per month. For more information
The book deals with complex social and moral issues in a direct unflinching way.
It is a memoir written by a death-penalty lawyer (he founded the Texas Innocence Network) that details the complex and often unfair process of institutionalized death penalty specifically in the state of Texas.
He simultaneously extracts life lessons from period of time when he had to deal with three losses, his previously vigorous 60-year-old father-in-law to melanoma; of his beloved Doberman to sudden liver failure and of a legal battle to save the life of a particularly affecting prisoner on Texas’s death row.
While a sad tale I did not find the book to be depressing. I loved reading about his relationship with his own wife and son and how it evolved and grew due to the life/death lessons he presented.
Dow emphasized that the biggest lesson he learned (and there were many) was the ability to empathize. This touched a cord in me due to my personal feelings regarding the use of the death penalty in our country.
I highly recommend this book regardless of the stand one takes (pro or anti death penalty) and I will include it in my limited list of “one of my favorite books�.
As an aside I learned that the book was published by TWELVE 12, a book publishing company established in 2005 with the objective of publishing no more than one book per month. For more information
August 14, 2016
This book is closer to 4-4.5 stars, but since I cried more than once while reading it, I'm bumping it to 5 stars for giving me the feels.
David Dow is a Texas death penalty lawyer, so he's seen his share of death and misery. Around the same time Dow works tirelessly to acquit a death row inmate, his vibrant and active father-in-law (FIL) contracts terminal cancer. On top of that, the family dog gets sick too.
Through short chapters, some of which are told through the FIL's words, we learn how Dow deals with death, what these experiences have taught him, and how it changed the way he lives. Since the conclusions are inevitable from the start of the book, the sting of the death is slightly lessened, and helps to ease what is certainly a heavy and difficult subject matter.
Reading what the FIL thought about his impending death particularly moved me. Here's a man who, after initially receiving his diagnosis, wanted his death to go one way, while his family had other ideas. This aspect prompted plenty of thoughts for me, and while I haven't encountered many deaths so far (thankfully), the FIL's words and the frank and open discussion he and Dow had made me wish I had talked about it with one of my friends before she passed.
Death is a touchy subject, though after reading this book I feel it's something that should be discussed, under certain circumstances. Dow's writing style felt a bit unwieldy at times, though overall I like how he tied together three stories, and related what he learned.
David Dow is a Texas death penalty lawyer, so he's seen his share of death and misery. Around the same time Dow works tirelessly to acquit a death row inmate, his vibrant and active father-in-law (FIL) contracts terminal cancer. On top of that, the family dog gets sick too.
Through short chapters, some of which are told through the FIL's words, we learn how Dow deals with death, what these experiences have taught him, and how it changed the way he lives. Since the conclusions are inevitable from the start of the book, the sting of the death is slightly lessened, and helps to ease what is certainly a heavy and difficult subject matter.
Reading what the FIL thought about his impending death particularly moved me. Here's a man who, after initially receiving his diagnosis, wanted his death to go one way, while his family had other ideas. This aspect prompted plenty of thoughts for me, and while I haven't encountered many deaths so far (thankfully), the FIL's words and the frank and open discussion he and Dow had made me wish I had talked about it with one of my friends before she passed.
Death is a touchy subject, though after reading this book I feel it's something that should be discussed, under certain circumstances. Dow's writing style felt a bit unwieldy at times, though overall I like how he tied together three stories, and related what he learned.
February 24, 2014
I don’t know if it’s because I was overprotected as a child or just very fortunate, but I’ve never had much exposure to the dead. The downside (if you could call it that) to such good fortune is I don’t know much about death or the process grieving. As a result, I find myself drawn to books on this topic, if only to try to get a better handle, sooner rather than later, on the inevitable. This book recounts the story of three deaths—those of the author’s father in law (cancer), his dog (liver failure), and his client (lethal injection).
To be frank, I didn’t care much for David Dow’s personality. He comes across as insufferable and self-righteous. As his father in law tells him, “you can be a judgmental and pedantic S-O-B.� But, to his credit, he’s at least self-aware of his own difficultness. I wouldn’t want to live with Dow’s worldview, but he does offer a keen and unglossy picture of the process, the pain, and the sometimes hopelessness of death. “I think we owe each other honesty,� his father in law says. And at least as the memoir is written, all three who lose their lives seem to do so with some sense of peace.
To be frank, I didn’t care much for David Dow’s personality. He comes across as insufferable and self-righteous. As his father in law tells him, “you can be a judgmental and pedantic S-O-B.� But, to his credit, he’s at least self-aware of his own difficultness. I wouldn’t want to live with Dow’s worldview, but he does offer a keen and unglossy picture of the process, the pain, and the sometimes hopelessness of death. “I think we owe each other honesty,� his father in law says. And at least as the memoir is written, all three who lose their lives seem to do so with some sense of peace.
February 25, 2014
Having read David R. Dow's Book, "The Autobiography of an Execution", I couldn't wait to read "Things I've Learned from Dying". I was not disappointed. Mr. Dow is an attorney who represents death row defendants in Texas. This memoir tells the story of three deaths. The first person is a prisoner facing death by execution. The second person is Mr. Dow's beloved father-in-law, a healthy 59 year old man diagnosed with advanced melanoma. Finally, the third party is Mr. Dow's adored Rottweiler, Winona. Their stories are told in alternating chapters. Mr. Dow is a gifted writer. His prose is beautiful. While each of the three faces death, their circumstances are very different. There are similarities, however. In each case hope comes and goes. Choices have to be made - some good, some bad. Mistakes are made in each case. The one constant in this book is Mr. Dow's humanity. The book begins with, "Every life is different, but every death is the same. We live with others. We die alone." I highly recommend this book.
August 27, 2014
Mr. Dow, with all of the humility, optimism, and wisdom that one can muster from a career as a lawyer who runs a death penalty clinic in Texas, has delivered a powerful and haunting memoir. Most of Mr. Dow's work focuses on the inmates that he represents, set to be executed. But, within Things I Learn From Dying, Mr. Dow choses to explore grief on a much more personal level. The memoir focuses equally on three deaths within Mr. Dow's life: that of a client, of his father-in-law, and of a beloved family dog.
Their stories are delivered in sparse, episodic prose. Passages rarely last beyond two pages, and Mr. Dow jumps between each of the three stories with the ease and confidence of an accomplished author.
Through a combination of both skill as an author, along with experience in the realm of grief, Mr. Dow has delivered one of the most memorable works of non-fiction in recent years.
Their stories are delivered in sparse, episodic prose. Passages rarely last beyond two pages, and Mr. Dow jumps between each of the three stories with the ease and confidence of an accomplished author.
Through a combination of both skill as an author, along with experience in the realm of grief, Mr. Dow has delivered one of the most memorable works of non-fiction in recent years.
September 8, 2015
Things I've Learned From Dying by David R. Dow was a very unique read. In my opinion, this is not one of the better books I have read. I found the way the author switched between telling three different stories to be quite confusing at times, and I had a difficult time keeping up with all the information. Also, I got bored when reading this book, because of how the author talked so much about his personal life and how slow the plot moved along. I did enjoy reading about the criminal justice system, and how death row works because I learned a lot of new information. Overall, I do not think I would recommend this book to a friend, unless they specifically asked for a book about death or death row inmates.
May 14, 2020
It was only after reading this book and talking about some segments to a friend that I realise how much I enjoyed it.
The one statement that stayed with me is when the father in law had talked about killing himself, but when he was at the bottom of the body of water, he realised he had told his wife they'd go see his kids later, and he didn't want to die with his last words being a lie.
I don't know why that stayed with me, I didn't think it would, but here I am still and it's still with me.
The one statement that stayed with me is when the father in law had talked about killing himself, but when he was at the bottom of the body of water, he realised he had told his wife they'd go see his kids later, and he didn't want to die with his last words being a lie.
I don't know why that stayed with me, I didn't think it would, but here I am still and it's still with me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 13, 2014
Absorbing,sad informative book published by "TwelveBooks" which selects books to stir conversation about the topic (in this case death, and Texas death penalty).great mix of relationships, love of family, ideas and poetry as the tools that give meaning and joy to life. Portrayal of Eddie Waterman was honest and heart-breaking.
January 24, 2014
Honest and haunting. Methodically moving. Through direct, sparse prose, Dow has given us an essential meditation on death and on life.
August 13, 2014
Did not finish. The only thing I learned from this book was the cruelty of the State of Texas towards its death-row prisoners.
December 28, 2014
I didn't want to put this one down until I'd finished it. There are already plenty of reviews here that explain it better than I can... so I'll just say it is worth a read.
June 13, 2024
Very well written, compelling story, great realization of the characters. I don't recommend it as a light summer read, but I suppose the title should have given that away. Dow paints an accurate portrait of Houston and the surrounding area, and it was fun recognizing the scenes and places. The story is a triptych, and that works beautifully to layer meaning and build the drama. I've seen this done by fiction writers more often than non-fiction, and it's very effective.
Only one thing made this a three star rather than four: his particular brand of realism is, of course, based on his moral crusade (which I admire and respect). His criticisms of the Texas criminal system are harsh and one-dimensional, but he has seen the worst it can do, and had to learn to live and work within that system. He's not wrong. I do wish he had recognized at least some of the prosecutors, judges, and justices who are not lazy, bigoted, and casually cruel, but maybe that's just not this book. They are out there, and I guess that's just my particular hobby horse to ride.
I hope he keeps working and writing for a very long time. We need lawyers and authors like him.
Only one thing made this a three star rather than four: his particular brand of realism is, of course, based on his moral crusade (which I admire and respect). His criticisms of the Texas criminal system are harsh and one-dimensional, but he has seen the worst it can do, and had to learn to live and work within that system. He's not wrong. I do wish he had recognized at least some of the prosecutors, judges, and justices who are not lazy, bigoted, and casually cruel, but maybe that's just not this book. They are out there, and I guess that's just my particular hobby horse to ride.
I hope he keeps working and writing for a very long time. We need lawyers and authors like him.
March 31, 2024
I liked this book as the author reflected on being a lawyer for clients who were to be executed. He was also processing his father in law coming to terms with his cancer diagnosis and whether his father in law wanted to die or live for others, and his family dog becoming ill and not getting better. He struggled with whether to keep her alive or allowing her to die. Was it too soon or the right time? How do we let animals and people die when they want or push them to live and fight for the clients who are on death row, knowing that for those people it may be for naught because higher decisions are made in Texas that don't care about whether murderers die.
It was heartfelt in the way people process their emotions around death and how much or how little people do around it and how death affects us all in different ways. There were many times when I was teary while I was reading as people processed the meaning behind making these choices and whose choice is it to allow one to die. I'm sure we have all been touched by this in one way or another.
It was heartfelt in the way people process their emotions around death and how much or how little people do around it and how death affects us all in different ways. There were many times when I was teary while I was reading as people processed the meaning behind making these choices and whose choice is it to allow one to die. I'm sure we have all been touched by this in one way or another.
June 29, 2017
I was hoping this book would challenge my view of the death penalty. It didn't. Although I would agree that the criminal justice system in Texas (based on what is presented in the book) definitely seems rigged against death penalty inmates, I felt this book presented a very one sided argument. The family of the victim in this case did not support the inmates execution but I wonder how often that is the case in death penalty cases. This book devoted a few pages to the victim and a few paragraphs to the victims family.
May 28, 2019
Interesting viewpoint drawing parallels between dying from cancer and being put on death row. The Author often plays the path of least resistance to try and mediate both sides of the Father and Daughter's approach to the cancer. Waterman's story is pretty interesting and I wanted to learn more about his life. The son is oddly insightful, often given an unobstructed and innocent/pure look at a situation when the Author is in a tough spot. Overall pretty sad, but hopeful towards the end
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 17, 2018
This was gripping from the moment I picked it up. A very interesting exploration of death and people and how they relate to each other (or not). Very well written, by a guy who has made a career of being a lawyer for people on death row. As well as studying a couple of these cases, he also looks at death on a personal level as it affects people that are close to him, and then finally even a family pet. A big recommend for this book.
July 16, 2020
4.5 Stars as it was compelling and held my attention quite well. Beautifully interwoven narratives, and a front-row seat to this specific period in the author's life. I usually reserve 5/5 for books I can't stop recommending to people, and I think I'd be more selective with who I recommend this to, in part because it touches on many topics close to my heart: cancer, psychology, death row, and the meaning of life as it relates to death.
June 15, 2024
At times a person asks themselves what is important in life and some may pick this book up hoping it will give them answers. Instead the book helps one understand how to react to changes in transition, how to face loss courageously, and help to help the ones around you.
The book is philosophical but also extremely touching, it's a reminder that the world can sometimes be cruel, and in that cruelty - how lucky we all are.
The book is philosophical but also extremely touching, it's a reminder that the world can sometimes be cruel, and in that cruelty - how lucky we all are.
July 4, 2017
I've rarely read a book over a weekend, however finished this in two days. It made me angry at the injustice of our (well, Texas') justice system; made me laugh and cry and think about whether it's better to know the day and time of your death or not know; and reminded me of the joy and grief that comes from loving our pets.
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