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Hurricane Hearts #1
There's Only After
THERE’S ONLY AFTER
A Hurricane Hearts Novel
Book 1
Two lives shattered by suicide.
Two men searching for hope.
Jackson:
Andrew was my life. My husband. My reason for breathing.
“Time of death eleven-forty-nine p.m.�
I will never be whole again.
Andrew doesn’t wake up.
And I can’t let him go.
A past filled with secrets, lies, and unimaginable trauma.
Lawson:
Brandon was more than my brother; he was my best friend.
“You did everything you could.�
I was told that sometime soon, my memories of that night would return.
They did, with a vengeance, three nights later in the form of an horrific nightmare that taunted me with visions of my brother’s lifeless body and pale blue lips.
What if there’s no happy ever after?
What if there’s only after?
.
.
.
PLEASE NOTE:
This novel contains graphic descriptions of suicide.
For content warnings check the author's website.
A Hurricane Hearts Novel
Book 1
Two lives shattered by suicide.
Two men searching for hope.
Jackson:
Andrew was my life. My husband. My reason for breathing.
“Time of death eleven-forty-nine p.m.�
I will never be whole again.
Andrew doesn’t wake up.
And I can’t let him go.
A past filled with secrets, lies, and unimaginable trauma.
Lawson:
Brandon was more than my brother; he was my best friend.
“You did everything you could.�
I was told that sometime soon, my memories of that night would return.
They did, with a vengeance, three nights later in the form of an horrific nightmare that taunted me with visions of my brother’s lifeless body and pale blue lips.
What if there’s no happy ever after?
What if there’s only after?
.
.
.
PLEASE NOTE:
This novel contains graphic descriptions of suicide.
For content warnings check the author's website.
527 pages, ebook
Published September 23, 2023
50 people are currently reading
351 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 64 reviews
January 4, 2024
4.5 stars
Starting off the new reading year with a bang! This was painful but still so beautiful. And it was worth going through the heartache alongside Jackson and Lawson to get to see them reach the light that eventually came them.
Jackson loses his husband Andrew to suicide after battling trauma and depression.
Lawson loses his baby brother Brandon to suicide after his wife died of cancer.
They both are the ones to find them. Both of them struggle hard with the “Why?� and the notion not being there sooner to prevent it.
� please note: Read the Trigger Warning at the beginning of the book. Mind your own mental health, it’s graphic.
I was on the fence with my feelings for Andrew A LOT. I felt so much compassion for him and what he’s been through before he gave up but I was also so angry at him. Just like Jackson was.
And boy did Andrew (almost) destroy Jackson spectacularly. Drew takes up a lot of space in this book and not only in memories but so much in the present as well. And while I usually wouldn’t appreciate a storytelling like this I think it was very important to do so to understand Jackson —his pain and his need. And Jackson struggles fiercely with the loss of his husband. His love for him bordered on obsession even though it might be considered toxic at times.
That’s when Lawson comes into play. They both first meet at a group therapy session for people dealing with loss and grief.
When Jackson starts to spiral in earnest, Lawson finds his reason to go on. Helping Jackson through his grief and saving him from making his own mistake.
Their love story is complicated and tentative as one would expect in the situation they’re in. But there is also so much want and need for one another between them. Their pull to one another is beautiful to watch even though you can relate to every second of guilt Jackson feels about it.
This was such a beautiful sentiment it almost brought me to tears. I loved that Lawson never felt jealous over the love Jackson felt and will probably always feel for his late husband and even encouraged him to carry Andrew in his heart always, even when they were eventually able to move on.
The whole story that was revealed about Andrew’s past is gut wrenching and I think his parents take the cake for most horrible parents.
� It wasn’t all that often but when it suited the story we also got multiple POVs of other characters and I really liked that!
� Shoutout to the author for providing a character list at the end of the book. I referred to it quite a few times.
side note: While I look forward to quite a few of the upcoming books in the series I especially can’t wait for “Hey, Jude�. What I’ve seen so far from both main characters sounds delicious.
**
Hurricane Hearts Series
Book 1 - There’s Only After - 4.5 stars
Book 2 - From Heartache to Hope - release unknown
works in progress (order of release not known yet):
� Hey, Jude
� Healing Joshua
� Change of Heart
� Callously Cracked
� Savagely Shattered
Starting off the new reading year with a bang! This was painful but still so beautiful. And it was worth going through the heartache alongside Jackson and Lawson to get to see them reach the light that eventually came them.
Jackson loses his husband Andrew to suicide after battling trauma and depression.
Lawson loses his baby brother Brandon to suicide after his wife died of cancer.
They both are the ones to find them. Both of them struggle hard with the “Why?� and the notion not being there sooner to prevent it.
� please note: Read the Trigger Warning at the beginning of the book. Mind your own mental health, it’s graphic.
Dearest Andrew,
I hate you for loving me.
I hate you for leaving me.
I hate you for this fractured fairy tale.
I hate the silence that lingers now that you’re gone.
Most of all, I hate that sometimes, there is no happy ever after.
There’s only after.
P.S. I love you,
Jackson
I was on the fence with my feelings for Andrew A LOT. I felt so much compassion for him and what he’s been through before he gave up but I was also so angry at him. Just like Jackson was.
Why do the ones we love so fiercely, destroy us so spectacularly?
And boy did Andrew (almost) destroy Jackson spectacularly. Drew takes up a lot of space in this book and not only in memories but so much in the present as well. And while I usually wouldn’t appreciate a storytelling like this I think it was very important to do so to understand Jackson —his pain and his need. And Jackson struggles fiercely with the loss of his husband. His love for him bordered on obsession even though it might be considered toxic at times.
That’s when Lawson comes into play. They both first meet at a group therapy session for people dealing with loss and grief.
When Jackson starts to spiral in earnest, Lawson finds his reason to go on. Helping Jackson through his grief and saving him from making his own mistake.
Their love story is complicated and tentative as one would expect in the situation they’re in. But there is also so much want and need for one another between them. Their pull to one another is beautiful to watch even though you can relate to every second of guilt Jackson feels about it.
“I’m afraid, too,� I whisper. I press a soft kiss to his lips. “Afraid that it’s too soon to move on. That I’m betraying Drew.� I blink back tears and when Lawson tries to pull away, I tug him closer once again. “But I want to move on, I’m ready to try. With you. Can we try, please?�
---
[Lawson:] “I’m so sorry for what you endured, Andrew.� I open my eyes and blink up at the stars. A tear falls from my eye as I whisper into the darkness, “I’ll take care of him from here.�
This was such a beautiful sentiment it almost brought me to tears. I loved that Lawson never felt jealous over the love Jackson felt and will probably always feel for his late husband and even encouraged him to carry Andrew in his heart always, even when they were eventually able to move on.
The whole story that was revealed about Andrew’s past is gut wrenching and I think his parents take the cake for most horrible parents.
� It wasn’t all that often but when it suited the story we also got multiple POVs of other characters and I really liked that!
� Shoutout to the author for providing a character list at the end of the book. I referred to it quite a few times.
side note: While I look forward to quite a few of the upcoming books in the series I especially can’t wait for “Hey, Jude�. What I’ve seen so far from both main characters sounds delicious.
**
Hurricane Hearts Series
Book 1 - There’s Only After - 4.5 stars
Book 2 - From Heartache to Hope - release unknown
works in progress (order of release not known yet):
� Hey, Jude
� Healing Joshua
� Change of Heart
� Callously Cracked
� Savagely Shattered
October 16, 2024
This book was absolutely beautiful. But also so fucking sad. This book is filled with grief, happiness, sorrow. Literally all the emotions and heartbreak.
We literally just have two MCs who are trying to find their way through life after losing very important people they love. This book definitely brought lots of tears to my eyes, and at times I had to stop. The drama plot to it definitely helped with the heaviness to it and I can't wait to read more from the series. I wanted nothing but happiness for Jackson and Lawson. Their HEA was so hard earned. Again Julie's writing is so captivating and I can't wait to read more of her work.
This book was ALOT. so please check TW ⚠️
We literally just have two MCs who are trying to find their way through life after losing very important people they love. This book definitely brought lots of tears to my eyes, and at times I had to stop. The drama plot to it definitely helped with the heaviness to it and I can't wait to read more from the series. I wanted nothing but happiness for Jackson and Lawson. Their HEA was so hard earned. Again Julie's writing is so captivating and I can't wait to read more of her work.
This book was ALOT. so please check TW ⚠️
October 8, 2023
Wow! This book was an incredible ride. This is the first book I have read by this author and I really loved their writing. I haven’t read something quite like this book before. I beg you to read the trigger warnings before reading. At times it was a lot and very hard to get through some scenes but if you can, the story between Jackson and Lawson is wonderful. Incredibly heartbreaking and I honestly didn’t see at some points how they’d get a HEA but thankfully they do!
The way this author writes had me so invested in Jackson and Lawson and even Andrew (Jackson’s husband who passed). It felt like Andrew was still there and we were rooting for him to get justice. The other side of this though is I was so invested I had a very hard time getting through one particular scene. Had to ask my friend to spoil it for me so I didn’t feel so anxious and could continue.
One thing I had a hard time with though was all the extra side characters and the plot outside of the romance. At times it was too much. I got confused with introductions of new characters that I felt I should have known about. Also I would get super invested in Jackson and Lawson and then we’d get a chapter from another characters POV (even one of the villains) and it threw me off the story.
The story of Jackson and Lawson’s healing and growing relationship was absolutely amazing! If you don’t mind extra characters and side plots then I 100% urge you to read this book if you can handle the trigger warnings. It’s absolutely worth the read.
The way this author writes had me so invested in Jackson and Lawson and even Andrew (Jackson’s husband who passed). It felt like Andrew was still there and we were rooting for him to get justice. The other side of this though is I was so invested I had a very hard time getting through one particular scene. Had to ask my friend to spoil it for me so I didn’t feel so anxious and could continue.
One thing I had a hard time with though was all the extra side characters and the plot outside of the romance. At times it was too much. I got confused with introductions of new characters that I felt I should have known about. Also I would get super invested in Jackson and Lawson and then we’d get a chapter from another characters POV (even one of the villains) and it threw me off the story.
The story of Jackson and Lawson’s healing and growing relationship was absolutely amazing! If you don’t mind extra characters and side plots then I 100% urge you to read this book if you can handle the trigger warnings. It’s absolutely worth the read.
October 11, 2023
Pros:
JAA writing will always be my favorite. She describes depression in a huntingly beautiful words without sugar coating. Not really a fan of mixing poetry with novels because they tend to be OTT but JAA just nailed that part.
Lawson: The perfect book bookfriend (sigh)
Merilee Covington: That last scene with her husband was sooo satisfying.😈
Andrew: I love that Andrew is NOT perfect. I cried for him so many times. Thinking about him now made me teary eyes.
CON:
Too many secondary characters. Honestly It felt like she introduced new characters in every chapter😂 I really got dizzy. So if you’re going to read this book, be ready to take down notes if who is who to avoid confusion. I was like who??? most of the time while reading this.
Jackson
When Jackson and Lawson are having their ‘moments� there was a little voice in my head that nagging me something is not right. Then this happened.
"𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙚. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨," 𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙪𝙨. "𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧. 𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙤-𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮. 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩, 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙬."
Holy fucking shit!
Jackson did not just drop that!
After everything Lawson did to him. After everything he had been through!
He did not deserve that!
Just because your grieving doesnt mean you have to be cruel.
Yes Jackson needs him.
He needs his kindness
His support
His love
His body
But he did not love him😭
What he felt for Lawson is nothing compared for what he had with andrew
I don’t believe it will ever come to that!
And Lawson deserves so much more😭
"𝙄'𝙢 𝙖𝙛𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪," 𝙄 𝙖𝙙𝙢𝙞𝙩. "𝘼𝙛𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙚𝙧. 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙖𝙧 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧.."
This words from Jackson was supposed to placate my broken heart. But it did not because they are just words.
All tell. No show.
Even Lawson knew that.
𝙄 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩
-𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢
𝙢𝙚, 𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙠."
Oh Lawson😭😭😭
𝙄 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙪𝙣 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙛𝙚𝙩𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙛.
Me too babe. Me too😭
𝘼𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨?" 𝙁𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙗𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙠, 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨, 𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚-𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙨, "𝘼𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨, 𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙠?
I don’t know Lawson. I don’t trust him anymore.
𝙄 𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙥𝙞𝙙 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜. 𝙄𝙛 𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙨 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣, 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚.
😭😭😭
3.5🌟
This is a beautiful, heartbreaking and thought provoking book. A story about love, lost and grief. Depression and suicide. Its hard to accept the lost of someone we love, especially on suicide.
Whatever we go through in life, I wish each and everyone of us will never underestimate the hole our absence would leave.
I still highly recommend this book.
JAA writing will always be my favorite. She describes depression in a huntingly beautiful words without sugar coating. Not really a fan of mixing poetry with novels because they tend to be OTT but JAA just nailed that part.
Lawson: The perfect book bookfriend (sigh)
Merilee Covington: That last scene with her husband was sooo satisfying.😈
Andrew: I love that Andrew is NOT perfect. I cried for him so many times. Thinking about him now made me teary eyes.
CON:
Too many secondary characters. Honestly It felt like she introduced new characters in every chapter😂 I really got dizzy. So if you’re going to read this book, be ready to take down notes if who is who to avoid confusion. I was like who??? most of the time while reading this.
Jackson
When Jackson and Lawson are having their ‘moments� there was a little voice in my head that nagging me something is not right. Then this happened.
"𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙚. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨," 𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙪𝙨. "𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧. 𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙤-𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮. 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩, 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙬."
Holy fucking shit!
Jackson did not just drop that!
After everything Lawson did to him. After everything he had been through!
He did not deserve that!
Just because your grieving doesnt mean you have to be cruel.
Yes Jackson needs him.
He needs his kindness
His support
His love
His body
But he did not love him😭
What he felt for Lawson is nothing compared for what he had with andrew
I don’t believe it will ever come to that!
And Lawson deserves so much more😭
"𝙄'𝙢 𝙖𝙛𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪," 𝙄 𝙖𝙙𝙢𝙞𝙩. "𝘼𝙛𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙚𝙧. 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙖𝙧 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧.."
This words from Jackson was supposed to placate my broken heart. But it did not because they are just words.
All tell. No show.
Even Lawson knew that.
𝙄 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩
-𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢
𝙢𝙚, 𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙠."
Oh Lawson😭😭😭
𝙄 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙪𝙣 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙛𝙚𝙩𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙛.
Me too babe. Me too😭
𝘼𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨?" 𝙁𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙗𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙠, 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨, 𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚-𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙨, "𝘼𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨, 𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙠?
I don’t know Lawson. I don’t trust him anymore.
𝙄 𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙥𝙞𝙙 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜. 𝙄𝙛 𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙨 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣, 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚.
😭😭😭
3.5🌟
This is a beautiful, heartbreaking and thought provoking book. A story about love, lost and grief. Depression and suicide. Its hard to accept the lost of someone we love, especially on suicide.
Whatever we go through in life, I wish each and everyone of us will never underestimate the hole our absence would leave.
I still highly recommend this book.
December 11, 2024
Jackson � Lawson
�.
“I put him on the highest pedestal; one that reached for the stars, because one thing I knew was, if he could pull the silver moon from the midnight sky and drop it at my feet, he would do it. He was� he is stardust encased in human skin, a beacon of light�
�.
Difficult. One word to describe this read. It was a difficult read. The theme’s brought into this one. I was sucker punched. Boom, boom, bam. Yet, the author made me care so much and I really want to know what’s next in the Hurricane Hearts and I will willingly follow�
(Jude and Bodhi book. Neeeeed. And Oliver� )
�.
Les Friction - Your World Will Fail
�.
“…in another world, or another lifetime, I’d chase him with reckless abandon. In this lifetime, I have no chance with him�.� // “I’ll take care of him from here…� // “I’m scared…� // “You’re like the sunshine breaking through the clouds, brightening my world and warming me from the inside.� // “A soft kiss is pressed to my spine…� // “Is it time to go to the lighthouse yet?� // “maybe there was never meant to be a happy ever after…Maybe there’s only after, and what we choose to do with it…�
�.
�.
“I put him on the highest pedestal; one that reached for the stars, because one thing I knew was, if he could pull the silver moon from the midnight sky and drop it at my feet, he would do it. He was� he is stardust encased in human skin, a beacon of light�
�.
Difficult. One word to describe this read. It was a difficult read. The theme’s brought into this one. I was sucker punched. Boom, boom, bam. Yet, the author made me care so much and I really want to know what’s next in the Hurricane Hearts and I will willingly follow�
(Jude and Bodhi book. Neeeeed. And Oliver� )
�.
Les Friction - Your World Will Fail
�.
“…in another world, or another lifetime, I’d chase him with reckless abandon. In this lifetime, I have no chance with him�.� // “I’ll take care of him from here…� // “I’m scared…� // “You’re like the sunshine breaking through the clouds, brightening my world and warming me from the inside.� // “A soft kiss is pressed to my spine…� // “Is it time to go to the lighthouse yet?� // “maybe there was never meant to be a happy ever after…Maybe there’s only after, and what we choose to do with it…�
�.
October 5, 2023
This is a story that tears your heart out. Then it pieces it back together again. Beautiful story but keep the tissues handy.
I received an ARC and this is my unbiased opinion
I received an ARC and this is my unbiased opinion
October 20, 2023
"Did he believe it was strength that led him to that final act, or did he believe it was weakness?"
So there I am, at 2am starfished on my bed and staring at my ceiling.... Crying and not able to stop it. And I can always stop it.
Because flashbacks. And triggers. FROM THE FUCKING START.
When I dealt with that particular wound, by trying to read this with spaces in between instead of a single sitting,.... Then comes Jackson trying to come to terms with the knowledge of emotional and mental abuse he unknowingly suffered cuz Love. Fucking love.
And what did this get me? Flashbacks. And fucking triggers.
Gosh, this was painful. It was not just a knife to the heart, it was repeated stabbing. I felt for Lawson when Jackson hurt him every time....and I felt for Jackson when he did that.... Cuz grief. And fucking love.
But this gave me something else too and that's fucking relief... Because I find feeling pain a good thing. (Yeah yeah, it's not healthy...blah blah, I can't hear you). Especially when mental illness makes your emotions numb.
It was triggering and cathartic at the same time. It was killing and it was soothing.It wasn't just a book, it got personal for me, which I didn't expect tbh.
One thing that was a little confusing to me was all the characters that appeared here. It was quite overwhelming at some points, I guess.
Anyways, The writing was beautiful � and the setting was good but the emotions, especially the angst is fucking crazy, man. Julie warned me that it could wreck but I didn't think it would obliterate. I loved it. 🤍
So there I am, at 2am starfished on my bed and staring at my ceiling.... Crying and not able to stop it. And I can always stop it.
Because flashbacks. And triggers. FROM THE FUCKING START.
When I dealt with that particular wound, by trying to read this with spaces in between instead of a single sitting,.... Then comes Jackson trying to come to terms with the knowledge of emotional and mental abuse he unknowingly suffered cuz Love. Fucking love.
And what did this get me? Flashbacks. And fucking triggers.
Gosh, this was painful. It was not just a knife to the heart, it was repeated stabbing. I felt for Lawson when Jackson hurt him every time....and I felt for Jackson when he did that.... Cuz grief. And fucking love.
But this gave me something else too and that's fucking relief... Because I find feeling pain a good thing. (Yeah yeah, it's not healthy...blah blah, I can't hear you). Especially when mental illness makes your emotions numb.
It was triggering and cathartic at the same time. It was killing and it was soothing.It wasn't just a book, it got personal for me, which I didn't expect tbh.
One thing that was a little confusing to me was all the characters that appeared here. It was quite overwhelming at some points, I guess.
Anyways, The writing was beautiful � and the setting was good but the emotions, especially the angst is fucking crazy, man. Julie warned me that it could wreck but I didn't think it would obliterate. I loved it. 🤍
October 9, 2023
Well, that was a difficult one.
The trigger warnings are not to be ignored in this story.
I put 4 stars in the beginning because I was a bit overwhelmed but I think I want to rate it 5 stars.
This is not your usual hurt/comfort love story. We get more POVs than just the MCs and some of them are quite shocking as you can imagine.
This book, and I believe the whole series, deals with suicide, pedophilia, sex trafficking, and many other difficult topics.
However, the MCs' love story signs through all the darkness. They are good people who deserve their HEA. Jackson is broken and it takes much longer to realize he can have happiness again. A new type of happiness that involves someone putting Jackson's well-being above anything else.
Lawson is also suffering from a loss but he seems to be a bit stronger than Jackson and he is the first one to realize that they can be together.
The title says it all. After inconsolable losses, the only thing you can do is work on yourself and make it possible to move on. People around you are the most important pieces of this puzzle you are trying to piece together.
There Is Only After!
There are many many side characters that are important parts of the story and that we are gonna meet in the following books.
The Hurricane Hearts series is gonna be as devastating as incredible!
Thank you @gay.romance.reviews for the copy!
The trigger warnings are not to be ignored in this story.
I put 4 stars in the beginning because I was a bit overwhelmed but I think I want to rate it 5 stars.
This is not your usual hurt/comfort love story. We get more POVs than just the MCs and some of them are quite shocking as you can imagine.
This book, and I believe the whole series, deals with suicide, pedophilia, sex trafficking, and many other difficult topics.
However, the MCs' love story signs through all the darkness. They are good people who deserve their HEA. Jackson is broken and it takes much longer to realize he can have happiness again. A new type of happiness that involves someone putting Jackson's well-being above anything else.
Lawson is also suffering from a loss but he seems to be a bit stronger than Jackson and he is the first one to realize that they can be together.
The title says it all. After inconsolable losses, the only thing you can do is work on yourself and make it possible to move on. People around you are the most important pieces of this puzzle you are trying to piece together.
There Is Only After!
There are many many side characters that are important parts of the story and that we are gonna meet in the following books.
The Hurricane Hearts series is gonna be as devastating as incredible!
Thank you @gay.romance.reviews for the copy!
October 14, 2023
5 Freaking Incredible Stars ⭐️
Jackson and Lawson ❤️
This book absolutely wrecked me, stitched me up and healed my heart, I fell like I've been hit by a bus emotionally speaking and I couldn't be happier about it. I am going to be extremely vague with this review story wise because honestly to spoil this story would be unfair to the potential reader and to this new to me author. I have read hundreds of books and I can without a doubt say that less than 10 have truly stayed with me or touched me like this one. I cried, I ugly cried and then I cried again throughout this book. Simply put, It was a painfully beautiful love story and so worthy of being one of the best M/M stories of the year. I highly recommend this book, please pay attention to the content warnings. It's not an easy read but it is fantastic.
* I received an ARC from GRR, this is my open and honest review *
Jackson and Lawson ❤️
This book absolutely wrecked me, stitched me up and healed my heart, I fell like I've been hit by a bus emotionally speaking and I couldn't be happier about it. I am going to be extremely vague with this review story wise because honestly to spoil this story would be unfair to the potential reader and to this new to me author. I have read hundreds of books and I can without a doubt say that less than 10 have truly stayed with me or touched me like this one. I cried, I ugly cried and then I cried again throughout this book. Simply put, It was a painfully beautiful love story and so worthy of being one of the best M/M stories of the year. I highly recommend this book, please pay attention to the content warnings. It's not an easy read but it is fantastic.
* I received an ARC from GRR, this is my open and honest review *
September 25, 2023
Wow. What a journey. While this was by no means an easy read, it is an amazing, emotional story.
Jackson loses his husband and Lawson loses his brother to suicide. It's what comes After that leads these to men to each other.
Their grief and healing took me on a journey where I was cheering them on for their wins and concerned for the unwise and reckless decisions they would eachmake.
There is so much pain and heartbreak but there is also friendship and hope. It is beautifully written in a way that makes you feel everything right along with Jackson and Law.
I kinda bought this book on a whim and it's one of the best books I've read this year.
Please, please read the trigger warnings.
Jackson loses his husband and Lawson loses his brother to suicide. It's what comes After that leads these to men to each other.
Their grief and healing took me on a journey where I was cheering them on for their wins and concerned for the unwise and reckless decisions they would eachmake.
There is so much pain and heartbreak but there is also friendship and hope. It is beautifully written in a way that makes you feel everything right along with Jackson and Law.
I kinda bought this book on a whim and it's one of the best books I've read this year.
Please, please read the trigger warnings.
October 16, 2023
I voluntarily read and reviewed an ARC of this book. This is the first book in the A Hurricane Hearts series.
*Warning* Please read the trigger warning in this book. There are very sensitive subjects described in very detail.
Jackson and Lawson are both trying to come to terms with the facts that their loved ones are no longer living. They each struggle in their own ways. They meet at group therapy and quickly become friends. They help each other through their grief and form a bond.
This was my first book by this author, and I loved it. This book was not something I had ever read before. It was an emotional and heartbreaking ride. So grab those tissues. Can't wait to read more from this series.
*Warning* Please read the trigger warning in this book. There are very sensitive subjects described in very detail.
Jackson and Lawson are both trying to come to terms with the facts that their loved ones are no longer living. They each struggle in their own ways. They meet at group therapy and quickly become friends. They help each other through their grief and form a bond.
This was my first book by this author, and I loved it. This book was not something I had ever read before. It was an emotional and heartbreaking ride. So grab those tissues. Can't wait to read more from this series.
October 11, 2023
One of the most beautiful and heartbreaking reads of 2023. After the loss of Jackson’s husband Andrew, and Lawson’s brother Brandon, the two men come into one another’s lives.
Their lives, now forever changed, are interwoven in inexplicable ways. Jackson, in many ways, is stuck and struggles to move on. Lawson, angry that his brother left him in this situation, struggles to forgive.
This story is raw, and it is about grief, and loss, it is about love. It is about holding onto memories. It is about forgiveness. It is about holding space, while still allowing yourself to move on.
I cannot wait for more in this series!
Their lives, now forever changed, are interwoven in inexplicable ways. Jackson, in many ways, is stuck and struggles to move on. Lawson, angry that his brother left him in this situation, struggles to forgive.
This story is raw, and it is about grief, and loss, it is about love. It is about holding onto memories. It is about forgiveness. It is about holding space, while still allowing yourself to move on.
I cannot wait for more in this series!
October 10, 2023
Raw and gritty and incredibly painful reading. I loved the MCs and how eventually they managed to support each other from the worst of grief, and in Jackson's case also mental abuse. The characters and plots around them are complicated and there are clearly plenty of difficult stories to come. Lots of on page potential triggers of all sorts so please be careful if those are issues.
I received a complimentary copy of this book and am honoured to leave a voluntary review.
I received a complimentary copy of this book and am honoured to leave a voluntary review.
October 13, 2023
This book should come with a tissue box alert. It is so emotional. Andrew's story which unfolds throughout this book is devastating. His husband Jack is struggling and thank goodness for Lawson entering his life. The characters in this book are extremely well written, including the disgusting ones. Such a hard book to get right I would think but this author has done an amazing job! I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.
October 14, 2023
This book will put you through so many emotions and several boxes of tissues but is so worth the read. My first book by this author but it won't be my last.
I voluntarily reviewed this after receiving an ARC.
I voluntarily reviewed this after receiving an ARC.
October 18, 2023
I had all the feels with this book. It is so well written and has the right amount of drama. The title I think is perfect. Only after the loss they had, these two characters find each other. I went through so many emotions with the story and the romance is a balm after that much tragedy. Loved it!
October 7, 2023
This book had me in tears for the first 20% and several times after. What an amazing, heartbreaking story. The love, loss and raw emotions bled off the page and seeped into my soul. I felt their despair and lived it right alongside them.
Jackson losing his partner in love and life was on of the most devastating storylines I ever read. As the story progresses and he uncovers secrets which puts Andrew in a different light, you feel him move through several stages of grief. The way Julie Anne can write this is mind blowing, it all flows so well together.
Lawson loses his brother Brandon, a brother who was so lost in grief he couldn’t stand it anymore. You feel Lawson’s inner struggle with his loss but also with anger over Brandon’s choice and how he failed to save him.
These two beautiful characters find comfort in each other, someone who knows and shares in their grief. They have to find their peace and acceptance through a journey of heartache, secrets and heart shattering revelations.
”You're like the sunshine breaking through the clouds, brightening my world and warming me from the inside."
Julie Anne Addicott had a poetic way of writing. It just grabs you and pulls you in. I loved this story from start to finish. A beautiful, heart breaking and complex story I will read and think back on time and again.
You will also encounter characters from previous books and I cannot wait to read their books in the future.
I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Jackson losing his partner in love and life was on of the most devastating storylines I ever read. As the story progresses and he uncovers secrets which puts Andrew in a different light, you feel him move through several stages of grief. The way Julie Anne can write this is mind blowing, it all flows so well together.
Lawson loses his brother Brandon, a brother who was so lost in grief he couldn’t stand it anymore. You feel Lawson’s inner struggle with his loss but also with anger over Brandon’s choice and how he failed to save him.
These two beautiful characters find comfort in each other, someone who knows and shares in their grief. They have to find their peace and acceptance through a journey of heartache, secrets and heart shattering revelations.
”You're like the sunshine breaking through the clouds, brightening my world and warming me from the inside."
Julie Anne Addicott had a poetic way of writing. It just grabs you and pulls you in. I loved this story from start to finish. A beautiful, heart breaking and complex story I will read and think back on time and again.
You will also encounter characters from previous books and I cannot wait to read their books in the future.
I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
September 25, 2023
I just want to say - I’ve been a fan of Julie’s since I found and read her first book back in 2017. She’s an amazing author and the worlds she builds are intoxicating.
First, if you haven’t read LLHW or My Name is Tryst then that’s okay. You can read this as a stand alone� BUT it’s better if you read those first.
Second, Lawson 💕💕💕. I’m so in love with him!
This book can be hard to read if you have triggers pertaining to suicide, cancer, depression, etc. I’ve dealt with depression my whole life and suicide ideation, and I can honestly say she nailed it on the head.
I was crying while reading most of this story, but it was so worth it. From Jackson and Andrew’s heart wrenching tale to Lawson’s, it was� incredible. The way Julie invades your heart and soul with each line, and the depth of each character is just so beautiful. Her world building and character dynamics are well done and leaves you wanting more. I was left speechless after reading There’s Only After, and I’m still struggling with a book hangover. That’s a good thing as it tells me that this book blew me away.
Please, if you have any triggers visit Julie’s website to see the list. If you don’t, then enjoy reading. 💜
First, if you haven’t read LLHW or My Name is Tryst then that’s okay. You can read this as a stand alone� BUT it’s better if you read those first.
Second, Lawson 💕💕💕. I’m so in love with him!
This book can be hard to read if you have triggers pertaining to suicide, cancer, depression, etc. I’ve dealt with depression my whole life and suicide ideation, and I can honestly say she nailed it on the head.
I was crying while reading most of this story, but it was so worth it. From Jackson and Andrew’s heart wrenching tale to Lawson’s, it was� incredible. The way Julie invades your heart and soul with each line, and the depth of each character is just so beautiful. Her world building and character dynamics are well done and leaves you wanting more. I was left speechless after reading There’s Only After, and I’m still struggling with a book hangover. That’s a good thing as it tells me that this book blew me away.
Please, if you have any triggers visit Julie’s website to see the list. If you don’t, then enjoy reading. 💜
September 29, 2023
Oh this book�
This book is so beautifully written. Not many authors can capture such pure, raw, beautifully devastating emotion like Julie Anne Addicott. I’m an emotional puddle having just finished it, full of heartbreak, and hope, and anger, and happiness.
This is a very hard read. Grief, loss, survival, found family - oh the found family is amazing, I’m in love with everyone and can’t wait for all of their books - and more, are all prominent themes throughout. But Jackson and Lawson make every tear worth it.
A star for every bump and turn this emotional rollercoaster took me on. This one is definitely going to the top of my reread pile.
Ps. I now know that it’s been two years that a complicated yet beloved character has been waiting to be set free (purposely vague for spoiler reasons) and I’m just here to say that I’ll wait forever if needed.
This book is so beautifully written. Not many authors can capture such pure, raw, beautifully devastating emotion like Julie Anne Addicott. I’m an emotional puddle having just finished it, full of heartbreak, and hope, and anger, and happiness.
This is a very hard read. Grief, loss, survival, found family - oh the found family is amazing, I’m in love with everyone and can’t wait for all of their books - and more, are all prominent themes throughout. But Jackson and Lawson make every tear worth it.
A star for every bump and turn this emotional rollercoaster took me on. This one is definitely going to the top of my reread pile.
Ps. I now know that it’s been two years that a complicated yet beloved character has been waiting to be set free (purposely vague for spoiler reasons) and I’m just here to say that I’ll wait forever if needed.
October 10, 2023
I feel compelled to give this five stars because this author did a spectacular job on this book. The subject material was very intense, it was emotionally draining and disturbing. The love story had it’s merit, for sure, it was just so graphic that it was unsettling. The sinister behavior of some was alarming. I’m not sure how this story came to be, it was done very well there is no doubt about that, it’s just so startling and heartbreaking. I found myself in knots and I even had to skip over parts that left my heart feeling raw. This author has a talent for descriptive writing that is indisputable. Five stars and a warning that this book is not for the faint of heart because your heart will break and you may feel emotionally spent when it’s over. I voluntarily reviewed an arc of this book.
October 9, 2023
This is a new to me author and the first book I’ve read by them and it definitely won’t be the last, this story is a hard, emotional read, so please read the trigger warnings and keep tissues close, Jackson and Lawson meet at a support therapy group and become friends and it was good watching that relationship blossom and develop as they supported each other through their individual circumstances and losses, going to go and read more from this author while I wait on the next book in this series.
October 13, 2023
There seems no end to the pain they suffer from the death of someone they loved by their own hand. They think they will never feel safe or be in love again. Can meeting each other help? Can they finally find happiness again? See how they get on
November 15, 2023
Five stars for this brilliant portrayal of suicide grief and loss. But first a bit of a story of how I came to find this book: On the 5th anniversary of my brother’s suicide I was scrolling Instagram and came across an interview type post with this author; in it they said that parts of this story were taken from real life discussions with people who’ve experienced suicide loss. Fiction based on fact is something I am always up for. The fact that I lost my own brother to since drew me in and intrigued, I had to know more about this book to see for myself if it was done appropriately.
I was not disappointed, in fact I am awed by the talent of this author and wish I’d known about them sooner.
To begin I will say if you have any qualms about suicide and the related thought process a person goes through to seek that option or are grieving the loss of a loved one due to suicide you will need an extremely thick skin to be able to make it through this book unscathed. This author has a magnificent way of drawing out every possible emotion it’s as though they have reached into the depths of the very soul of the characters and taken the most painful parts of their existence to bring them to life.
The depictions of mental illnesses such as PTSD, depression, anxiety, are all done with grace and care and attention to detail. Emotions aren’t glossed over, romanticised or minimised to save face. The fear, self loathing, apprehension, grief; they’re all right there at the forefront.
The depiction of the actual suicide is again done with care.
Andrew’s character is at the end of his rope and with no hope left we follow his journey from the moment he made the fateful decision to end his life, until his untimely death.
The first ten chapters are painful.
Andrew is slipping away and our main character Jackson can do nothing but watch from the sidelines as his world implodes.
I’ve never felt for a fictional character like I did for Andrew, even after the truth of him is revealed.
Onto Jackson and Lawson the main characters of this beautifully written story.
Jackson is grieving his husband’s (Andrew’s) death and is struggling to find a reason to go on while simultaneously fearing what that means for himself. Wanting to die but being afraid of the actual act is something I personally dealt with after the suicide of my brother. It’s a lonely and dark place to be.
What I appreciated here was the inclusion of mental health support services, group therapy and individual therapy for the main characters showing the author put care and attention into real and valid research surrounding suicide loss grief and support. Kudos to the author for this.
Group is where Lawson meets Jackson for the first time and over time they form a tentative friendship through their shared losses. (Lawson’s brother died by suicide also).
Lawson is the stronger of the two and while he carries immense amounts of guilt and anger toward his brother he is also a steadfast and loyal supporter and friend to Jackson.
Lawson’s parents are sweethearts but the loss of their son has them lashing out at Lawson a few times creating some tension in their relationship that was overwhelmingly realistic but perfectly done.
Jackson’s life becomes a mass of unhealthy coping mechanisms which leads Lawson to “rescue� him giving them the opportunity to become closer. As thier relationship grows more is revealed about Andrew’s childhood and some quite shocking revelations come to light I was not expecting. I haven’t read this author’s other books yet but plan to rectify that immediately. There are characters introduced who I believe have made appearances in a previous book. I’m looking forward to learning more about them, particularly Bradley Morgen who was a strong character I connected with on many levels.
Jackson and Lawson’s relationship is a slow burn with little angst or drama that captures the hesitancy, anxiety and hope that comes with beginning a new relationship while grieving the loss of a previous one. When they finally find their feet and come together, each interaction is chock-full of love and adoration. While the sexual scenes aren’t erotic or overly spicy they are tastefully done in a way that suits these characters and I appreciate the realistic portrayal of gay men having sex which is too often done wrong or done without any care or knowledge in the subject.
There are many heartbreaking moments in this book along with moments of happiness and joy and the addition of a large loyal group of friends who have each others backs regardless of circumstance.
I will not give spoilers but the demise of a certain evil character was exceptionally well written and I had shivers reading about the heinous acts this character committed under the guise of love. Other characters don’t end up getting what the deserve though I have hope that their demise will appear in future books.
In the end Lawson and Jackson get their hard won and well deserved happily ever after that was quite swoon worthy if I may say so. The symbolic significance of the lighthouse fit perfectly with this story.
The bonus chapter was devastating but ultimately necessary. In one short chapter I was enamoured by the character and the recollection of their too short life and the loss of hope for their love.
I have become an immediate, huge fan of this authors work. Love the writing style, attention to detail and the poetic additions of small short quotations and poetry at the beginning of each chapter was unique and set the scene for the upcoming chapters.
Another thing I enjoyed was the large cast of characters all with their own histories, trauma and stories I can’t wait to read in the future.
I’m off to find out all I can about this truly talented author and to read their entire backlist.
I was not disappointed, in fact I am awed by the talent of this author and wish I’d known about them sooner.
To begin I will say if you have any qualms about suicide and the related thought process a person goes through to seek that option or are grieving the loss of a loved one due to suicide you will need an extremely thick skin to be able to make it through this book unscathed. This author has a magnificent way of drawing out every possible emotion it’s as though they have reached into the depths of the very soul of the characters and taken the most painful parts of their existence to bring them to life.
The depictions of mental illnesses such as PTSD, depression, anxiety, are all done with grace and care and attention to detail. Emotions aren’t glossed over, romanticised or minimised to save face. The fear, self loathing, apprehension, grief; they’re all right there at the forefront.
The depiction of the actual suicide is again done with care.
Andrew’s character is at the end of his rope and with no hope left we follow his journey from the moment he made the fateful decision to end his life, until his untimely death.
The first ten chapters are painful.
Andrew is slipping away and our main character Jackson can do nothing but watch from the sidelines as his world implodes.
I’ve never felt for a fictional character like I did for Andrew, even after the truth of him is revealed.
Onto Jackson and Lawson the main characters of this beautifully written story.
Jackson is grieving his husband’s (Andrew’s) death and is struggling to find a reason to go on while simultaneously fearing what that means for himself. Wanting to die but being afraid of the actual act is something I personally dealt with after the suicide of my brother. It’s a lonely and dark place to be.
What I appreciated here was the inclusion of mental health support services, group therapy and individual therapy for the main characters showing the author put care and attention into real and valid research surrounding suicide loss grief and support. Kudos to the author for this.
Group is where Lawson meets Jackson for the first time and over time they form a tentative friendship through their shared losses. (Lawson’s brother died by suicide also).
Lawson is the stronger of the two and while he carries immense amounts of guilt and anger toward his brother he is also a steadfast and loyal supporter and friend to Jackson.
Lawson’s parents are sweethearts but the loss of their son has them lashing out at Lawson a few times creating some tension in their relationship that was overwhelmingly realistic but perfectly done.
Jackson’s life becomes a mass of unhealthy coping mechanisms which leads Lawson to “rescue� him giving them the opportunity to become closer. As thier relationship grows more is revealed about Andrew’s childhood and some quite shocking revelations come to light I was not expecting. I haven’t read this author’s other books yet but plan to rectify that immediately. There are characters introduced who I believe have made appearances in a previous book. I’m looking forward to learning more about them, particularly Bradley Morgen who was a strong character I connected with on many levels.
Jackson and Lawson’s relationship is a slow burn with little angst or drama that captures the hesitancy, anxiety and hope that comes with beginning a new relationship while grieving the loss of a previous one. When they finally find their feet and come together, each interaction is chock-full of love and adoration. While the sexual scenes aren’t erotic or overly spicy they are tastefully done in a way that suits these characters and I appreciate the realistic portrayal of gay men having sex which is too often done wrong or done without any care or knowledge in the subject.
There are many heartbreaking moments in this book along with moments of happiness and joy and the addition of a large loyal group of friends who have each others backs regardless of circumstance.
I will not give spoilers but the demise of a certain evil character was exceptionally well written and I had shivers reading about the heinous acts this character committed under the guise of love. Other characters don’t end up getting what the deserve though I have hope that their demise will appear in future books.
In the end Lawson and Jackson get their hard won and well deserved happily ever after that was quite swoon worthy if I may say so. The symbolic significance of the lighthouse fit perfectly with this story.
The bonus chapter was devastating but ultimately necessary. In one short chapter I was enamoured by the character and the recollection of their too short life and the loss of hope for their love.
I have become an immediate, huge fan of this authors work. Love the writing style, attention to detail and the poetic additions of small short quotations and poetry at the beginning of each chapter was unique and set the scene for the upcoming chapters.
Another thing I enjoyed was the large cast of characters all with their own histories, trauma and stories I can’t wait to read in the future.
I’m off to find out all I can about this truly talented author and to read their entire backlist.
March 22, 2024
Writing style: First person. This book has chapters that are POVs outside of the two MCs.
MCs: Jackson (28) and Lawson (35)
Would I recommend: No
Other person drama: yes
Cheating: previous partners cheated but not cheating between MCs
Breakup: yes
TW: many- see author’s list- Detailed trigger warnings at the end of review
Spice- 1.5 out of 5- not much and not anything special
HEA/ HFN: HFN- relationship is happy but some bad guys are still free and there are threats against MCs
This book disappointed me so many times. I’m really mad because there were parts of this books I absolutely loved. There were many highlighted quotes. First off I love books with many trigger warnings so that wasn’t the problem. My complaints have zero to do with the TW material. The beginning of the book, I was very invested. It was interesting to include the POV of the character who dies by suicide. It was intense to read and I was excited to see depth in the story. I was loving it up until about a third of the way. Then the choices being made were strange and I started to see some cracks. It became a mess. It feels like she thought of any possible way to cause drama or angst and threw it in without considering whether it added to the story or made sense. It majorly took away from the story.
This book was way too long. If she cut out about half the book, included the poor choices, it would have been a good book. The author wasted sooooo many pages giving us details, stories, and other character POVs to try to start storylines for future books. It was not needed and very much took away from the current story. The length is way too much. By the time most books are finished, this book still has MCs being angsty and the relationship still hasn’t started. It felt like the author couldn’t pick a storyline so they just included every possible one imaginal. What did I even just read? The final nail in the coffin was the dead character’s father’s POV. It did not contribute the story like it should have. The author included dub con for no reason in one of these chapters. So much wasted time and pages.
This next part is not a complaint. The author can do whatever they want with the story. Simply explaining the dynamic and how it wasn’t what I expected. Based on the description I thought this was a go through similar pain then heal together and form a relationship book. Instead it is about MC1 being in a toxic, trauma bonded relationship with his husband who dies. He was abused by his husband and enabled and made excuses for him. Then enters into an unofficial relationship with MC2. MC1 starts doing the behaviors of his late husband and forms a trauma bond with MC2. And MC2 then is taking on the role of caring for someone who treats him horribly while falling apart. Repeating the cycle. He does stop being manipulative and abusive but that’s not until about 81%.
I’m including detailed trigger warnings for those who want more info to see if they can handle the triggers. Some would consider this a spoiler so do NOT read if you don’t want that info.
Detailed Triggers: graphic description of on page suicide; problematic alcohol and drug use; sexual activity with other people besides MCs; late husband cheated on him and was emotionally and mentally abusive; character (not MCs) engaged in prostitution when homeless; violation of basic standards of BDSM; MC is roofied and SAd on page; references to past child trafficking; description of a video of a minor being SAd; description of past incest against minor; dubcon not related to MCs; detailed on page murder
MCs: Jackson (28) and Lawson (35)
Would I recommend: No
Other person drama: yes
Cheating: previous partners cheated but not cheating between MCs
Breakup: yes
TW: many- see author’s list- Detailed trigger warnings at the end of review
Spice- 1.5 out of 5- not much and not anything special
HEA/ HFN: HFN- relationship is happy but some bad guys are still free and there are threats against MCs
This book disappointed me so many times. I’m really mad because there were parts of this books I absolutely loved. There were many highlighted quotes. First off I love books with many trigger warnings so that wasn’t the problem. My complaints have zero to do with the TW material. The beginning of the book, I was very invested. It was interesting to include the POV of the character who dies by suicide. It was intense to read and I was excited to see depth in the story. I was loving it up until about a third of the way. Then the choices being made were strange and I started to see some cracks. It became a mess. It feels like she thought of any possible way to cause drama or angst and threw it in without considering whether it added to the story or made sense. It majorly took away from the story.
This book was way too long. If she cut out about half the book, included the poor choices, it would have been a good book. The author wasted sooooo many pages giving us details, stories, and other character POVs to try to start storylines for future books. It was not needed and very much took away from the current story. The length is way too much. By the time most books are finished, this book still has MCs being angsty and the relationship still hasn’t started. It felt like the author couldn’t pick a storyline so they just included every possible one imaginal. What did I even just read? The final nail in the coffin was the dead character’s father’s POV. It did not contribute the story like it should have. The author included dub con for no reason in one of these chapters. So much wasted time and pages.
This next part is not a complaint. The author can do whatever they want with the story. Simply explaining the dynamic and how it wasn’t what I expected. Based on the description I thought this was a go through similar pain then heal together and form a relationship book. Instead it is about MC1 being in a toxic, trauma bonded relationship with his husband who dies. He was abused by his husband and enabled and made excuses for him. Then enters into an unofficial relationship with MC2. MC1 starts doing the behaviors of his late husband and forms a trauma bond with MC2. And MC2 then is taking on the role of caring for someone who treats him horribly while falling apart. Repeating the cycle. He does stop being manipulative and abusive but that’s not until about 81%.
I’m including detailed trigger warnings for those who want more info to see if they can handle the triggers. Some would consider this a spoiler so do NOT read if you don’t want that info.
Detailed Triggers: graphic description of on page suicide; problematic alcohol and drug use; sexual activity with other people besides MCs; late husband cheated on him and was emotionally and mentally abusive; character (not MCs) engaged in prostitution when homeless; violation of basic standards of BDSM; MC is roofied and SAd on page; references to past child trafficking; description of a video of a minor being SAd; description of past incest against minor; dubcon not related to MCs; detailed on page murder
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 12, 2023
Heinous, wonderful, highly descriptive, appalling with so much pain but so worth reading
This was an M/M romance like none other I have ever read. It is about Jackson Davidson, 28yo husband of Andrew Covington who committed suicide and Lawson Shore, 35yo whose brother and best friend, Brandon took his life. Jackson and Lawson meet at a counseling event and slowly become friends and then more. Rightful and deserved ending for Jack and Law.
It is a tribute to Ms. Addicott’s writing that I could continue reading after chapter 4. Very painful. If you need your tear ducts flushed, this is the book to read! The author states that she did research regarding suicide and near-misses. If accurate, I honestly think this should be required reading for Psychology majors who hope to go into counseling. There is one moment when Drew is dying and he wants to reverse it, but it is too late that broke my heart. I am crying right now just remembering that scene. In her research did Ms. Addicott find that this might happen?
By chapter 30 there will be the added element of intrigue that deals with child exploitation. Drew had been abused by many adults in his young life. On the surface this topic would seem something for only the shadows of society, but you need only to look at our southern border to see exploitation today. The unaccompanied minors have “uncles� or “aunts� or “cousins� who are found and vetted in hours or a day so as to send these children off with them. I pray that the majority are real family members, but I am afraid they are not. I truly want some characters to pay especially since I have no sway over this reality.
During this poignant story we also meet many other great characters whom I hope we meet later in this Hurricane Hills series. The author has stipulated that some scenes may be difficult. Believe her! Beyond this advice I still believe this is one of the best books of its kind that I have read this year. I volunteered to review an ARC of it through Gay Romance Reviews. I would give it more than 5 stars if I could.
This was an M/M romance like none other I have ever read. It is about Jackson Davidson, 28yo husband of Andrew Covington who committed suicide and Lawson Shore, 35yo whose brother and best friend, Brandon took his life. Jackson and Lawson meet at a counseling event and slowly become friends and then more. Rightful and deserved ending for Jack and Law.
It is a tribute to Ms. Addicott’s writing that I could continue reading after chapter 4. Very painful. If you need your tear ducts flushed, this is the book to read! The author states that she did research regarding suicide and near-misses. If accurate, I honestly think this should be required reading for Psychology majors who hope to go into counseling. There is one moment when Drew is dying and he wants to reverse it, but it is too late that broke my heart. I am crying right now just remembering that scene. In her research did Ms. Addicott find that this might happen?
By chapter 30 there will be the added element of intrigue that deals with child exploitation. Drew had been abused by many adults in his young life. On the surface this topic would seem something for only the shadows of society, but you need only to look at our southern border to see exploitation today. The unaccompanied minors have “uncles� or “aunts� or “cousins� who are found and vetted in hours or a day so as to send these children off with them. I pray that the majority are real family members, but I am afraid they are not. I truly want some characters to pay especially since I have no sway over this reality.
During this poignant story we also meet many other great characters whom I hope we meet later in this Hurricane Hills series. The author has stipulated that some scenes may be difficult. Believe her! Beyond this advice I still believe this is one of the best books of its kind that I have read this year. I volunteered to review an ARC of it through Gay Romance Reviews. I would give it more than 5 stars if I could.
October 28, 2023
4.5⭐️
3.5🌶
MM Romance
Trauma
Self Harm
Depression
Childhood Sexual Abuse
Sex Trafficking
Suicidal Ideation
Suicide
Forced Incest
Child P*rn
Interconnected Characters (Love Lost Her Way & My Name Is Tryst)
Mystery Elements
Series, Book 1
I stumbled upon this author a couple years ago when I read Love Lost Her Way, which to this day still remains to be one of my favorite books that I've read to date.
I always hesitate to write a review for anything that I've read by this author because I couldn't possibly put into words just how gifted she truly is. Her words are written with such emotion that you can feel exactly what she's trying to portray and sometimes it can haunt you to your core. I don't know if she writes from experience, extensive research or maybe both... but it's always delivered with such precision and care. She writes about extremely difficult topics that may not be easy for some to read, so if you have any triggers be cautious of that.
It's hard to not fall in love with everything she writes and that's exactly why she remains to be my favorite author/poet. I recommend that you read her prior work, Love Lost Her Way and My Name is Tryst. This book stands alone on itself, but there are interconnected characters from those two books.
This book is about two men who meet while attending grief counseling for survivors that have lost a family member/loved one by suicide. Jackson loses his husband Andrew and Lawson loses his brother Brandon.
It's also a painful glimpse into the lives of both Andrew and Brandon who succumb to the demons they struggle with. Andrew has a tortured past of severe childhood sexual trauma/abuse. Brandon suffers with severe depression after losing his wife to cancer.
It's a painful journey for Jackson and Lawson but in the end their happily ever after is so deserved. I couldn't possibly give this book the review it deserves.
I look forward to reading the next book for this series or anything this author writes for that matter.
3.5🌶
MM Romance
Trauma
Self Harm
Depression
Childhood Sexual Abuse
Sex Trafficking
Suicidal Ideation
Suicide
Forced Incest
Child P*rn
Interconnected Characters (Love Lost Her Way & My Name Is Tryst)
Mystery Elements
Series, Book 1
I stumbled upon this author a couple years ago when I read Love Lost Her Way, which to this day still remains to be one of my favorite books that I've read to date.
I always hesitate to write a review for anything that I've read by this author because I couldn't possibly put into words just how gifted she truly is. Her words are written with such emotion that you can feel exactly what she's trying to portray and sometimes it can haunt you to your core. I don't know if she writes from experience, extensive research or maybe both... but it's always delivered with such precision and care. She writes about extremely difficult topics that may not be easy for some to read, so if you have any triggers be cautious of that.
It's hard to not fall in love with everything she writes and that's exactly why she remains to be my favorite author/poet. I recommend that you read her prior work, Love Lost Her Way and My Name is Tryst. This book stands alone on itself, but there are interconnected characters from those two books.
This book is about two men who meet while attending grief counseling for survivors that have lost a family member/loved one by suicide. Jackson loses his husband Andrew and Lawson loses his brother Brandon.
It's also a painful glimpse into the lives of both Andrew and Brandon who succumb to the demons they struggle with. Andrew has a tortured past of severe childhood sexual trauma/abuse. Brandon suffers with severe depression after losing his wife to cancer.
It's a painful journey for Jackson and Lawson but in the end their happily ever after is so deserved. I couldn't possibly give this book the review it deserves.
I look forward to reading the next book for this series or anything this author writes for that matter.
October 12, 2023
In the beginning, I really fell in love with this book, because it was hearbreaking and gut-wrenching. it was hard. Suicide is a difficult topic. There are so many questions. As someone who has been on both sides, I can empathize with the grief, and I can see myself in the depressed, thoughts of suicide part. I've been there. I've lost people to suicide and had all the questions. And as someone diagnosed with major depressive disorder who has attempted once and planned out others, I get it. This book is heavy and has difficult themes. It would have been 5 stars for me, but...
-There were parts that just didn't need to be included that I felt distracted from the story and didn't really add anything.
-There were so many characters that I was getting confused.
-The includsion of above characters' POVs. Again, unneccessary and distracted from the MC's story.
-Because of all 3 of the above, the book was longer than it needed to be.
-I feel like most of the story focused on Jackson's grief and not as much on Lawson's, and to me, it seemed more of Jackson's story and less Lawson's.
Anyway, despite those above gripes, I did enjoy this in that it talks about depression and suicide and not in a glossed over way, but in a gritty and heavy way that a lot of people can't really understand. I'm interested in continuing this series.
-There were parts that just didn't need to be included that I felt distracted from the story and didn't really add anything.
-There were so many characters that I was getting confused.
-The includsion of above characters' POVs. Again, unneccessary and distracted from the MC's story.
-Because of all 3 of the above, the book was longer than it needed to be.
-I feel like most of the story focused on Jackson's grief and not as much on Lawson's, and to me, it seemed more of Jackson's story and less Lawson's.
Anyway, despite those above gripes, I did enjoy this in that it talks about depression and suicide and not in a glossed over way, but in a gritty and heavy way that a lot of people can't really understand. I'm interested in continuing this series.
April 1, 2024
Holy hell, the depth of the emotions I felt while reading this book, especially during the first few chapters!!! I can’t even describe how palpable the grief, pain and loss were! If you’re a crier, be prepared to use a ton of tissue! Also, I’m really glad I had already read since this book provides updates on what happens after that one.
October 16, 2023
This book has very difficult subject matters. It is beautifully written, and I enjoyed getting to know the characters. I like seeing Lawson and Jackson together, and I adore Lawson's parents.. I had to have tissues at the ready but will definitely be reading next books in this series.
April 19, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ♾️
This book was so beautiful but so fucking sad.
Julie is such a beautiful writer but she also knows how to hit every emotion and just destroy your heart. But I’m such a sucker for it and I like to torture myself 😭
Lawson and Jackson are two beautiful humans who’ve lost the very people they loved the most, and are both just trying to get over their heartbreak so they can continue moving through life. They meet in a recovery center for grieving famile members who’ve lost a dear loved one. And through it they bond and also through a very large and interesting friend group. Julie writes in a lot of characters and there are lots of POVs which can be a lot to keep track of, but half of the characters we already know from Love Lost her Way and My Name is Tryst. But they are all important to the story and I loved how it all came together.
This story is a lot. It defiantly brought tears to my eyes a few times. It is a slow burn hurt/comfort with very dark elements and past trauma for both the lost ones who both unalived themselves. And our MC’s are in the thick of grieving and discovering things they didn’t know, but they finally get the most beautiful HEA!
This story connects to the dark underground world from Tryst. So please check your TWs ⚠️
I loved this book so much it plunged me into a terrible book funk afterwards and I had to sit with it for a while after 🥺
But highly recommended! 💯
FYI. This is the first book in the HURRICANE HEARTS series, where we get a lot more stories from the friend group.
This book was so beautiful but so fucking sad.
Julie is such a beautiful writer but she also knows how to hit every emotion and just destroy your heart. But I’m such a sucker for it and I like to torture myself 😭
Lawson and Jackson are two beautiful humans who’ve lost the very people they loved the most, and are both just trying to get over their heartbreak so they can continue moving through life. They meet in a recovery center for grieving famile members who’ve lost a dear loved one. And through it they bond and also through a very large and interesting friend group. Julie writes in a lot of characters and there are lots of POVs which can be a lot to keep track of, but half of the characters we already know from Love Lost her Way and My Name is Tryst. But they are all important to the story and I loved how it all came together.
This story is a lot. It defiantly brought tears to my eyes a few times. It is a slow burn hurt/comfort with very dark elements and past trauma for both the lost ones who both unalived themselves. And our MC’s are in the thick of grieving and discovering things they didn’t know, but they finally get the most beautiful HEA!
This story connects to the dark underground world from Tryst. So please check your TWs ⚠️
I loved this book so much it plunged me into a terrible book funk afterwards and I had to sit with it for a while after 🥺
But highly recommended! 💯
FYI. This is the first book in the HURRICANE HEARTS series, where we get a lot more stories from the friend group.
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