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Lapham's Rules of Influence: A Careerist's Guide to Success, Status, and Self-Congratulation
As the editor of Harper's Magazine , Lewis Lapham has enjoyed entrée to America's "cultural elite," a class distinguished by its talent for currying favor, licking boots, and kissing ass. Now, in this scathingly funny and politically incorrect self-help book, Mr. Lapham offers his best advice to aspiring careerists seeking to ride in helicopters and see themselves on television.
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Drawing upon a lifetime of experience among the cogno-scenti, Mr. Lapham breaks rank and reveals the unspoken secrets of getting what to say, how to dress, when to lie, whom to befriend, where to be seen, and why it is absolutely essential to wear clean shoes. ("The first impression is also the last impression. You don't wish to be remembered as the stain on the rug.")
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Anyone interested in self-advancement will be transformed by Lapham's Rules of Influence , which offers proven nuggets of wisdom. For example, when trying to impress the boss, "Flattery cannot be too often or too recklessly applied. Think of it as suntan lotion or moisturizing cream."
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Written with stinging wit and tongue planted firmly in cheek, Lapham's Rules of Influence is a brilliant critique of class and manners in America, packed with the kind of irreverent observation that only Lewis Lapham can provide.
ÌýÌýSeek out the acquaintance of people richer and more important than yourself, and never take an interest in people who cannot do you any favors.
ÌýÌýRumor tinged with malice is the most precious form of gossip. When you are invited to spend a weekend with important journalists or movie stars, it is considered polite to bring four items of unpublished slander in lieu of a house present or a bottle of wine.
ÌýÌýMake unsparing use of clichés. The empty word is the correct word. Contrary to the opinion of snobbish New York intellectuals, the placid murmur of cliché is always preferable to the expression of strong feeling, which is an embarrassment.
ÌýÌýA truly fashionable dinner party ends at the moment when all the guests have arrived and everybody has been seen or not seen. Once attendance has been taken, the rest of the evening is superfluous.
ÌýÌýA good meeting is one at which nothing happens. Sit erect, second all the motions, remember everybody's name.
ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý
Drawing upon a lifetime of experience among the cogno-scenti, Mr. Lapham breaks rank and reveals the unspoken secrets of getting what to say, how to dress, when to lie, whom to befriend, where to be seen, and why it is absolutely essential to wear clean shoes. ("The first impression is also the last impression. You don't wish to be remembered as the stain on the rug.")
ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý
Anyone interested in self-advancement will be transformed by Lapham's Rules of Influence , which offers proven nuggets of wisdom. For example, when trying to impress the boss, "Flattery cannot be too often or too recklessly applied. Think of it as suntan lotion or moisturizing cream."
ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý
Written with stinging wit and tongue planted firmly in cheek, Lapham's Rules of Influence is a brilliant critique of class and manners in America, packed with the kind of irreverent observation that only Lewis Lapham can provide.
ÌýÌýSeek out the acquaintance of people richer and more important than yourself, and never take an interest in people who cannot do you any favors.
ÌýÌýRumor tinged with malice is the most precious form of gossip. When you are invited to spend a weekend with important journalists or movie stars, it is considered polite to bring four items of unpublished slander in lieu of a house present or a bottle of wine.
ÌýÌýMake unsparing use of clichés. The empty word is the correct word. Contrary to the opinion of snobbish New York intellectuals, the placid murmur of cliché is always preferable to the expression of strong feeling, which is an embarrassment.
ÌýÌýA truly fashionable dinner party ends at the moment when all the guests have arrived and everybody has been seen or not seen. Once attendance has been taken, the rest of the evening is superfluous.
ÌýÌýA good meeting is one at which nothing happens. Sit erect, second all the motions, remember everybody's name.
- GenresNonfictionBusinessHumor
176 pages, Paperback
First published May 18, 1999
4 people are currently reading
45 people want to read
About the author
Lewis H. Lapham
164Ìýbooks131ÌýfollowersLewis Henry Lapham was the editor of Harper's Magazine from 1976 until 1981, and again from 1983 until 2006. He is the founder and current editor of Lapham's Quarterly, featuring a wide range of famous authors devoted to a single topic in each issue. Lapham has also written numerous books on politics and current affairs.
Lapham's Quarterly
Lapham's Quarterly
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
May 4, 2008
I put this under non-fiction, but really, it is a satire on the upper classes. Looks at American society, but really, the lessons in this book apply anywhere.
May 16, 2025
Excellent sardonic advice for the careerist in development!
August 19, 2012
Don’t know whether you read Lapham’s columns in Harper’s, but this is a short distillation of most of the points he’s made about the new upper classes in the past ten years � a tongue-in-cheek Emily Post.
February 28, 2007
Lapham is quite pissed at the direction that the American "power system" (for lack of a better term) seems to be heading nowadays and sarcasm is his weapon of choice in this little expose.
July 25, 2007
It was very funny and very true.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
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