Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ

Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

You’re Not the Only One F*cking Up: Breaking the Endless Cycle of Dating Mistakes

Rate this book
Dating in a modern world can be, shall we say, challenging. Between deciphering mixed messages about what is � or isn’t � a red flag, or finding potential romantic prospects that turn out to be all-around disappointing, it’s easy to get dating and relationship fatigue. Throw in the relentless cultural pressure to find the right person before it’s “too late,� and it becomes a high-stakes nightmare. No wonder so many of us feel like we’re messing it up and can’t seem to trust our own instincts.

Bestselling author and comedian Lane Moore, whose hugely popular Tinder Live with Lane Moore shows have earned widespread acclaim, is no stranger to what she calls the “endless cycle of mistakes� that we find ourselves making in the quest for love. In You’re Not the Only One F*cking Up: Breaking the Endless Cycle of Dating Mistakes, Moore explores the trials and tribulations of real people who have been through the struggle of navigating the dating pool yet still surfaced to the top. Drawing from a diverse range of perspectives and experiences, their firsthand stories paint a comprehensive picture of the pitfalls that come with modern dating. She also shares moments from her own personal battles with this cycle, while reassuring the reader how each of these mistakes made over� and over� ultimately can lead us back to trusting what works for our own selves. Moore breaks down everything from missed warning signs to mistaking “potential� for love, while using her signature empathy and humor to offer actionable insight on how to grow through the all-too-frequent errors we tend to (unintentionally) make.

Going beyond dating advice, You’re Not the Only One F*cking Up is a testament to the universality of the human inclination to screw up, and a call to prioritize the love and trust we have in ourselves despite living in a societal culture that aims to tell us there’s only one right way to establish romantic relationships. Whether you’re currently seeking � or in � a relationship, if you’re an expert on the digital dating landscape, or even if you’ve been out of the dating scene for years, there’s plenty to relate to � and learn from � in this Everand Original audiobook and ebook from Lane Moore.

60 pages, ebook

Published January 17, 2024

1 person is currently reading
40 people want to read

About the author

Lane Moore

7Ìýbooks329Ìýfollowers
Lane Moore is an award-winning writer, comedian, actor, and musician. She is the host of I Thought It Was Just Me podcast.

Her first book, How To Be Alone: If You Want To And Even If You Don’t became a #1 bestseller and was praised as one of the best books of the year by The New York Times, New York Magazine, and NPR. Her second book, You Will Find Your People, will be released in 2023.

Her comedy show “Tinder Live!� is regarded as one of the best comedy shows around and has been praised by The New York Times, Spin Magazine, Entertainment Tonight, CBS, Time Out New York, and New York Magazine.

As a musician, Moore is the frontperson and songwriter in the band “It Was Romance,� which BUST Magazine named the Best Band of 2015, and Billboard named one of 16 Female-Fronted Bands You Should Know.

Moore has written for The Onion, The New Yorker Shouts and Murmurs, The Washington Post, Teen Vogue, GQ, Glamour, and Playboy. In her time as the the Sex and Relationships Editor at Cosmopolitan, she won a GLAAD award for her groundbreaking work championing diverse, inclusive coverage.

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
12 (13%)
4 stars
26 (30%)
3 stars
36 (41%)
2 stars
10 (11%)
1 star
2 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
Profile Image for Marci Heath.
466 reviews29 followers
March 29, 2024
This book is so enjoyable and quick to read !!!! I listened to the audiobook and the narration was amazing. This book dives into dating and how all of us who are looking for our soulmates are not alone. There are answers to the questions we all have and you will find them in this book. Enjoy!!
Profile Image for Jacque Dalton.
267 reviews9 followers
March 22, 2024
I read and requested this audiobook for the context of giving dating advice, not getting! Happily married in a 6 year relationship!

This book was quick & good. I will say it’s geared towards people who identify as women. It dives into the meet cute expectation, how annoying being told to “get out there can be�, but then also being told to rest and wait for the right person, etc. This audiobook reads like a podcast, which I love! The narrator is fiery and passionate. It can come across a little ranty but as is the topic of the book. The author mentions dating experts and their “red flags�, toxic starts being the exception � not the rule, and more.

I love that she brought up the double standard of men vs women in “unsuccessful� relationships. You don’t need someone who “made all the pain worth it.� We also do not need to fix men for free!

All good info for being so short!

I will be reading her book about adult friendships! That is advice I actually need.😆

Thank you NetGalley for providing me this audiobook in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Tiara Lynn.
86 reviews
September 16, 2024
“We must know, without a shred of doubt, that we are absolutely allowed to want what we want, and to want a whole person whom we don’t have to fix.� FELT! I enjoyed this audiobook and recommend it to anyone looking for something fast but enjoyable.

Excerpt from: "You’re Not the Only One F*cking Up: Breaking the Endless Cycle of Dating Mistakes" by Lane Moore. Scribd.
This material may be protected by copyright.

Profile Image for Ishtars.epeolatry.
50 reviews8 followers
March 8, 2024
As someone who's been single for a while... a lot of these stories resonated with me. I'm a little tired as the single person being told "it'll happen when you least expect it", "you need to hurry, the clocks ticking". Or any other cliche thing a partnered person wants me to know. Being told by the dating coaches about how I need to heal myself and be ready for someone - because everyone one there fixed themselves before they met their partners - right? I'm not jaded.... but this short book made me feel normal and human and rethink these cliches. Thank you!
Profile Image for Doreen.
3,075 reviews87 followers
February 9, 2024
2/8/2024 Timely, lol. Full review tk at .

2/9/2024 When I picked up this book for review, I did not realize that it would become incredibly relevant to my personal life. Everything happens for a reason, and I was genuinely pleased to get a little guidance as I navigate a chaotic (and frankly exhausting!) new-again world. But even if you're not currently in the dating trenches, this short non-fiction book has a lot of great advice for those trying to figure out their own hearts and relationships, as well as the patterns that have brought them to where they are in their emotional lives.

Lane Moore is a bestselling author and comedian whose show, Tinder Live, dissects modern dating with both humor and heart. Wanting to further highlight the universality of the confusing and occasionally self-defeating dating experience, she put out a call for horrific dating stories, several of which form the backbone of this absorbing book. Too often, it's made clear, people make poor choices almost out of habit, ignoring things they know are bad for them in hope of finally finding The One.

A lot of this, Ms Moore points out, is due to societal pressure on women in particular to make relationships work. The general expectation is for women to put in the labor, emotional or otherwise, in order to make a man choose her. This is, ofc, utter nonsense, but a hard lesson to unlearn given how ingrained it is in so much of society:

So, as women, we take on people like projects -- not simply because we believe it's the only way we might find love, but also because we falsely believe it is noble to work, to grind, and to contort ourselves to have the love story we've always wanted.


Ms Moore takes pains, however, to remind readers that all this chaos isn't just a modern innovation. With the story of George, a sixty-eight year-old who dated well before the Internet, she underscores how people have always fallen into self-defeating patterns when it comes to seeking out romance. Modern society might be a mess, but it's certainly better than eras past, when fewer people questioned the entirely sexist notion that women had a shelf life while men could remain attractive forever.

But this book isn't about women being long-suffering saints cleaning up after trash men (tho there are certainly paragraphs that allude to that due to the sheer prevalence of that situation on the relationship scene.) It's about self-assessment and being realistic without being self-defeating. You're Not The Only One F*cking Up urges readers to truly evaluate what they want out of romantic relationships, to ask if something is actually a red flag or just something society tells them should be, and to believe in their own self-worth and dignity:

We must know, without a shred of a doubt, that we are absolutely allowed to want what we want, and to want a whole person whom we don't have to fix.


This is a terrific, quick read filled with humor and wisdom that is invaluable to anyone navigating the dating scene. It also has a lot of great advice for anyone just worrying about love in general.

You’re Not The Only One F*cking Up by Lane Moore was published January 17 2024 by where it is exclusively available.
Profile Image for Mina.
22 reviews1 follower
April 2, 2024
Wanted to give fewer star to this book since it has been a long while I have stopped being in the dating game, then I remembered all the shortcomings I used to ignore... All the said RED FLAGS... All the people I allowed to treat me like dirt and all the people I treated like dirt... I don't know if it is more really the society and the fear of being alone or more being the outcome of my very shady upbringing in a very unloving family... Still... 3 stars because for a self-help book, I don't think it really brought much helping but pointing the obvious fact of hey, we are all f*cking up? Didn't sit well with me. It was funny though.
Profile Image for Olivia Nahmias.
460 reviews6 followers
April 3, 2024
*4 stars*
Humorous, matter-of-fact, and wonderfully blunt without being preachy. The author really tells it like it is by calling out societal norms, gender roles, horrible subliminal messaging from TV and films, and internalized sexism in ourselves despite our best efforts.
.
Whether you're happily (or unhappily) married, engaged, single, child-less, or 4 children deep... all women will find this relatable. It's nice to feel seen, even on a generic level. I'll definitely be looking out for more of Lane Moore's books.
Profile Image for Kim.
300 reviews
February 17, 2024
Better as a podcast episode . . . Not a “book�

Of course, my connection to “books� - even audiobooks - is extremely skewed. If you’re looking for a quick listen that will make you chuckle, check it out on Everand or hoopla. I wouldn’t purchase this one on audible or buy a printed copy even though it checks the box for entertaining which may have been the author’s goal. For that, I’d give it 5 stars!
Profile Image for Jenn Quinn.
61 reviews7 followers
July 15, 2024
It was ok. I liked the red flags section and the hearing others� stories. However, I didn’t really feel like I got any new knowledge from it sadly.

Thank you NetGalley for this ARC of You’re Not The Only One F*cking Up.
Profile Image for dee.
183 reviews1 follower
December 22, 2024
The red flags chapter was fun but other than that, its just a bunch of rehashes of common knowledge about what to-do and not to-do when it comes to modern-age dating. A quick, quirky and inconsequential read.
Profile Image for Hannah Dalton.
20 reviews
March 23, 2024
I only read this because my sister did and I enjoyed it! The ranting style made me feel like I was having a spill sesh and it was a fun and fast listen.
Profile Image for Cara.
AuthorÌý20 books101 followers
July 14, 2024
I thought this was going to be funny and/or insightful but I didn’t find it so.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.