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Not If I See You First
The Rules
Don't deceive me. Ever. Especially using my blindness. Especially in public.
Don't help me unless I ask. Otherwise you're just getting in my way or bothering me.
Don't be weird. Seriously, other than having my eyes closed all the time, I'm just like you only smarter.
Parker Grant doesn't need 20/20 vision to see right through you. That's why she created the Rules: Don't treat her any differently just because she's blind, and never take advantage. There will be no second chances. Just ask Scott Kilpatrick, the boy who broke her heart.
When Scott suddenly reappears in her life after being gone for years, Parker knows there's only one way to react - shun him so hard it hurts. She has enough on her mind already, like trying out for the track team (that's right, her eyes don't work but her legs still do), doling out tough-love advice to her painfully naive classmates, and giving herself gold stars for every day she hasn't cried since her dad's death three months ago. But avoiding her past quickly proves impossible, and the more Parker learns about what really happened - both with Scott, and her dad - the more she starts to question if things are always as they seem. Maybe, just maybe, some Rules are meant to be broken.
Combining a fiercely engaging voice with true heart, debut author Eric Lindstrom's Not If I See You First illuminates those blind spots that we all have in life, whether visually impaired or not.
Don't deceive me. Ever. Especially using my blindness. Especially in public.
Don't help me unless I ask. Otherwise you're just getting in my way or bothering me.
Don't be weird. Seriously, other than having my eyes closed all the time, I'm just like you only smarter.
Parker Grant doesn't need 20/20 vision to see right through you. That's why she created the Rules: Don't treat her any differently just because she's blind, and never take advantage. There will be no second chances. Just ask Scott Kilpatrick, the boy who broke her heart.
When Scott suddenly reappears in her life after being gone for years, Parker knows there's only one way to react - shun him so hard it hurts. She has enough on her mind already, like trying out for the track team (that's right, her eyes don't work but her legs still do), doling out tough-love advice to her painfully naive classmates, and giving herself gold stars for every day she hasn't cried since her dad's death three months ago. But avoiding her past quickly proves impossible, and the more Parker learns about what really happened - both with Scott, and her dad - the more she starts to question if things are always as they seem. Maybe, just maybe, some Rules are meant to be broken.
Combining a fiercely engaging voice with true heart, debut author Eric Lindstrom's Not If I See You First illuminates those blind spots that we all have in life, whether visually impaired or not.
310 pages, Hardcover
First published December 1, 2015
221 people are currently reading
15.8k people want to read
About the author
Eric Lindstrom
6Ìýbooks299ÌýfollowersIn addition to writing Young Adult novels, Eric Lindstrom has worked in the interactive entertainment industry for years as a creative director, game designer, writer, and usually combinations of all three. As Editor and Co-Writer for Tomb Raider: Legend he received a 2006 BAFTA nomination for Best Video Game Screenplay, and then as the Creative Director for Tomb Raider: Underworld he received a 2009 BAFTA nomination for Best Action Adventure Video Game and a 2009 WGA nomination for Best Writing in a Video Game.
He has also raised children, which led to becoming first a school volunteer, then a substitute teacher, then a part time kindergarten teacher, then getting a credential to teach elementary school, and most importantly the discovery that YA literature is awesome. It’s pretty much all he ever reads, and now writes, in his house near the beach on the west coast, with his wife and, yes, cats.
He has also raised children, which led to becoming first a school volunteer, then a substitute teacher, then a part time kindergarten teacher, then getting a credential to teach elementary school, and most importantly the discovery that YA literature is awesome. It’s pretty much all he ever reads, and now writes, in his house near the beach on the west coast, with his wife and, yes, cats.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,590 reviews
January 26, 2016
Have you ever read a book and not realised you were expecting it to be bad until it’s actually pretty good and you’re surprised? That’s how I felt about this.
There's been a lot of hype and starred reviews for , but I think I had it in the back of my mind that it would be yet another -style book. I was subconsciously predicting that this would be to blindness what TFiOS was to cancer and was to suicide. A contrived, forcefully-philosophical novel with characters that feel like incarnations of John Green.
But it was actually pretty damn good.
I'm seeing two main criticisms of this book floating around - one being that the romance is not that good, the other being that the main character is unlikable. Strangely, though, these are the two things I liked most about it.
I honestly really liked that Parker was quite unlikable, outspoken and selfish at times, in a way that I personally thought was realistic and relatable. How annoying it would have been if she had simply been portrayed as a one-dimensional blind girl who can do no wrong. Instead, she is given a layered personality, flaws, and a sharp tongue that made for some funny moments.
And most romance fans won't like this romance because it's just not that much of a romance. In , it is easy to distinguish the two main characters as Hazel and Gus. But this book's main characters are not simply a guy and a girl. In fact, Parker's girlfriends play a much bigger part in this story. For me, it was more about friendship than romance.
The romantic side is less about getting the two teens together, and more a lesson on growing up, changing and learning to listen. Or it was to me. Which is why I am one of the few people who liked the atypical ending.
Lots of diverse female friendship, low on the melodrama and philosophical messages, and nowhere near as neat and cute as I'd imagined it would be. If I were to issue one warning, it's that the book is a little quieter than many readers might like. But it was fun and insightful to read a book from such a different perspective, whilst also having the author treat Parker like a human being.
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There's been a lot of hype and starred reviews for , but I think I had it in the back of my mind that it would be yet another -style book. I was subconsciously predicting that this would be to blindness what TFiOS was to cancer and was to suicide. A contrived, forcefully-philosophical novel with characters that feel like incarnations of John Green.
But it was actually pretty damn good.
I'm seeing two main criticisms of this book floating around - one being that the romance is not that good, the other being that the main character is unlikable. Strangely, though, these are the two things I liked most about it.
I honestly really liked that Parker was quite unlikable, outspoken and selfish at times, in a way that I personally thought was realistic and relatable. How annoying it would have been if she had simply been portrayed as a one-dimensional blind girl who can do no wrong. Instead, she is given a layered personality, flaws, and a sharp tongue that made for some funny moments.
And most romance fans won't like this romance because it's just not that much of a romance. In , it is easy to distinguish the two main characters as Hazel and Gus. But this book's main characters are not simply a guy and a girl. In fact, Parker's girlfriends play a much bigger part in this story. For me, it was more about friendship than romance.
The romantic side is less about getting the two teens together, and more a lesson on growing up, changing and learning to listen. Or it was to me. Which is why I am one of the few people who liked the atypical ending.
Lots of diverse female friendship, low on the melodrama and philosophical messages, and nowhere near as neat and cute as I'd imagined it would be. If I were to issue one warning, it's that the book is a little quieter than many readers might like. But it was fun and insightful to read a book from such a different perspective, whilst also having the author treat Parker like a human being.
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December 15, 2017
I really enjoyed this read. It had a nice balance of light-heartedness and intensity. I had never read a novel with a blind protagonist before, but I believe it was a perfect introduction.
Parker is a badass. An absolute badass. Her narration was the highlight of the story. I just loved how unapologetically herself she is. I also loved watching her grow and heal after her father's death. It was a unique and complex journey and I feel it was executed well. I obviously cannot speak for the blind representation, but it's clear the author did extensive research by interacting with the blind community & working with professionals. I am definitely pleased that Parker's blindness is never viewed as something that prevents her from living to the fullest. If anything, she weighs the hardships she experiences AND the advantages she has found fairly equally. She felt like a whole, complete character and I just loved her so much.
Overall I enjoyed my time reading this story. I sped through it and ultimately had a good time, but there were pieces that were somewhat disappointing. Firstly, this book had been sold to me as "blind girl joins her school track team" which is what really drew me to the story. Unfortunately, the running/track team parts of the story are really only prominent in the beginning and the end of the story. The middle is mostly about Parker coping with her father's death and dealing with the return of an ex who betrayed her in the past. I was really looking forward to Parker training, competing at meets, but it really was not as significant as I was expecting.
Additionally, Scott, Parker's ex, was a really underdeveloped character in my opinion. We essentially only learn about him through hearsay, he doesn't play an active role in the story until the very end despite being a large part of the story. I just couldn't care about him because I don't feel like I really knew him. I knew Parker was hurt by him but still felt some attachment to him, but he fell very flat for me. It made the book a little more underwhelming because so much of it was focused on Parker and Scott, even though Scott was a very minimal character in my opinion. I definitely am already suffering from the disappointment of there not being as much track running as I wanted, but the bulk of the story that replaced the expected-track parts wasn't as engaging.
All in all, this was a nice read. I have my personal critiques, but when I think of Not If I See You First, I'm going to think of how much I enjoyed my time reading it.
Parker is a badass. An absolute badass. Her narration was the highlight of the story. I just loved how unapologetically herself she is. I also loved watching her grow and heal after her father's death. It was a unique and complex journey and I feel it was executed well. I obviously cannot speak for the blind representation, but it's clear the author did extensive research by interacting with the blind community & working with professionals. I am definitely pleased that Parker's blindness is never viewed as something that prevents her from living to the fullest. If anything, she weighs the hardships she experiences AND the advantages she has found fairly equally. She felt like a whole, complete character and I just loved her so much.
Overall I enjoyed my time reading this story. I sped through it and ultimately had a good time, but there were pieces that were somewhat disappointing. Firstly, this book had been sold to me as "blind girl joins her school track team" which is what really drew me to the story. Unfortunately, the running/track team parts of the story are really only prominent in the beginning and the end of the story. The middle is mostly about Parker coping with her father's death and dealing with the return of an ex who betrayed her in the past. I was really looking forward to Parker training, competing at meets, but it really was not as significant as I was expecting.
Additionally, Scott, Parker's ex, was a really underdeveloped character in my opinion. We essentially only learn about him through hearsay, he doesn't play an active role in the story until the very end despite being a large part of the story. I just couldn't care about him because I don't feel like I really knew him. I knew Parker was hurt by him but still felt some attachment to him, but he fell very flat for me. It made the book a little more underwhelming because so much of it was focused on Parker and Scott, even though Scott was a very minimal character in my opinion. I definitely am already suffering from the disappointment of there not being as much track running as I wanted, but the bulk of the story that replaced the expected-track parts wasn't as engaging.
All in all, this was a nice read. I have my personal critiques, but when I think of Not If I See You First, I'm going to think of how much I enjoyed my time reading it.
June 16, 2015
Find all of my reviews at:
I’m always on the lookout for YA books with a fresh approach. When Not If I See You First popped up, I thought maybe it would be something special. I appreciated that the blurb clearly pointed out there was potential for some romance in the storyline, and the double-bonus was it was clear that Parker would be going through some grown-up stuff � mainly the fact that her father just died and that she is blind. Sadly, this book ended up being the same old tired out crap that leaves an old lady like me feeling kind of like . . .
Okay, I’ll be realistic. My reaction probably looks a little more like this . .
The problem? The MC was sooooooo unlikeable. She was such a selfish asshole, I just couldn’t route [yep Ron - I just couldn't follow the course of direction ; ) ] for her at all. In fact, I wished her BFF, or her cousin, or a frenemy, or someone would just . . .
Things that are awesome: Not judging a book by its cover � i.e., not giving a shit what color or size someone is or what kind of clothes they wear before becoming friends with them.
Things that make you an asshole: Not caring enough about your friends to know what color they are or their size or what kind of clothes they like to wear. These types of things come up in conversation without specific and/or insulting questions being asked. You should know your friend is a bit chubby because she has made some sort of comment about it � NOT because she “breathes weird� sometimes. Same regarding clothing. A friend who wears sweatpants every day will probably mention while on the phone/at school/somewhere that she can’t wait to get out of her tight blue jeans on the days she wears them.
Not knowing much of anything about your supposed friends after an accident made you blind almost 10 YEARS AGO is definitely NOT their fault.
Of course there was a redemption arc at some point, but in the immortal words of one Roger Murtaugh � “I’m getting too old for this shit.� There’s enough assholery in my day-to-day life, I just don’t have the patience to tolerate it in my fiction at this point. To the target demographic � you’ll probably like this one just fine. As for me? I’ll keep trying, because there are some amazing YA books constantly being released.
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley!
I’m always on the lookout for YA books with a fresh approach. When Not If I See You First popped up, I thought maybe it would be something special. I appreciated that the blurb clearly pointed out there was potential for some romance in the storyline, and the double-bonus was it was clear that Parker would be going through some grown-up stuff � mainly the fact that her father just died and that she is blind. Sadly, this book ended up being the same old tired out crap that leaves an old lady like me feeling kind of like . . .
Okay, I’ll be realistic. My reaction probably looks a little more like this . .
The problem? The MC was sooooooo unlikeable. She was such a selfish asshole, I just couldn’t route [yep Ron - I just couldn't follow the course of direction ; ) ] for her at all. In fact, I wished her BFF, or her cousin, or a frenemy, or someone would just . . .
Things that are awesome: Not judging a book by its cover � i.e., not giving a shit what color or size someone is or what kind of clothes they wear before becoming friends with them.
Things that make you an asshole: Not caring enough about your friends to know what color they are or their size or what kind of clothes they like to wear. These types of things come up in conversation without specific and/or insulting questions being asked. You should know your friend is a bit chubby because she has made some sort of comment about it � NOT because she “breathes weird� sometimes. Same regarding clothing. A friend who wears sweatpants every day will probably mention while on the phone/at school/somewhere that she can’t wait to get out of her tight blue jeans on the days she wears them.
Not knowing much of anything about your supposed friends after an accident made you blind almost 10 YEARS AGO is definitely NOT their fault.
Of course there was a redemption arc at some point, but in the immortal words of one Roger Murtaugh � “I’m getting too old for this shit.� There’s enough assholery in my day-to-day life, I just don’t have the patience to tolerate it in my fiction at this point. To the target demographic � you’ll probably like this one just fine. As for me? I’ll keep trying, because there are some amazing YA books constantly being released.
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley!
January 16, 2016
I'm so pleasantly surprised by this book! I wasn't sure what to expect when I started it but Not If I See You First is definitely one of my favorite of 2015!
I love the writing of this book. It's written really realistically. The dialogue and characters are very real and honest.
I liked Parker a lot. She wasn't always likable but it was realistic. She had her ups and downs but who doesn't?
I just loved reading about her. And her character development was great. It was a little rushed at on point in the book, but that's just a little thing.
My favorite thing about this book is it wasn't romance driven. It wasn't about Parker finding a boyfriend. It was about Parker and her life. How she lives her life without her parents. How she copes with high school and her friendships. Sure, it has some romance but it wasn't the main point of the plot. And that's why I loved this book so much.
I wasn't exactly pleased with the last %4 of this book. I thought it was a little too late in the game though throw that kind of a curve ball. But it really didn't affect my opinion of this book. I think it's more of something that readers can have a discussion about than something that can majorly affected a readers thoughts on the book.
Overall, I loved this book and I highly recommend it. It's really well written and different from any other book that I've read. It has great character development and I loved the plot.
I love the writing of this book. It's written really realistically. The dialogue and characters are very real and honest.
I liked Parker a lot. She wasn't always likable but it was realistic. She had her ups and downs but who doesn't?
I just loved reading about her. And her character development was great. It was a little rushed at on point in the book, but that's just a little thing.
My favorite thing about this book is it wasn't romance driven. It wasn't about Parker finding a boyfriend. It was about Parker and her life. How she lives her life without her parents. How she copes with high school and her friendships. Sure, it has some romance but it wasn't the main point of the plot. And that's why I loved this book so much.
I wasn't exactly pleased with the last %4 of this book. I thought it was a little too late in the game though throw that kind of a curve ball. But it really didn't affect my opinion of this book. I think it's more of something that readers can have a discussion about than something that can majorly affected a readers thoughts on the book.
Overall, I loved this book and I highly recommend it. It's really well written and different from any other book that I've read. It has great character development and I loved the plot.
August 17, 2018
wowow i read a whole ass book and i didn't even update it on goodreads...i totally forgot. when has that EVER happened??? who even am i?? i don't know myself.
reading this was an extremely odd experience, and actually i'm just going to link to Cait @ Paper Fury's review b/c it is perfect and completely covers my thoughts and then i'll just rehash some of them here i guess for the sake of "actually writing a review, kind of." or whatever.
but really, again - you should just read Cait's.
so Not If I See You First follows a blind girl named Parker. Parker's dad just died and her aunt + co. (including two cousins) moved into her house b/c it was nicer than their old one. yikes!! anyway Parker is a bit of a...how you say...um...insufferable meanie. honestly it's a whole lot to deal with. anyway it's the first day of school (how exciting) (yay school supplies) (yay a nice new outfit) (don't you love it) (august just end already god i'm excited) and Parker's old high school is joinin' up with a different high school in the area and long story short PARKER'S EX BOYFRIEND IS IN HER GOSH DAMN CLASS!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT.
this ex boyfriend Wronged Her Severely (but no spoilers) () but actually they are soulmates and best friends even though they were 13 when they ""dated.""
god honestly is that a normal behavior for thirteen year olds??? thirteen year old me was way too busy memorizing rote biographical information about teen pop sensations and ignoring all information about how to apply makeup to kiss ANYONE.
anyway the plot of this book is confusing if it's there. i don't know if this is about Parker's Romantic Life� (which includes Ex-Bf Dreamboat and Charming Shoe Salesman, ).
i don't know if this is about Parker's Friendship Life� (she has a whopping 3 friends and nonstop drama with them which, guess what, MAKES NO SENSE).
similarly i do not know if this is about Parker's Family Life� (because god it should be - listen to this sh*t: )
anyway. there are bits of this i liked: Parker's blindness, obviously. um. she also runs, which is cool. and there are a lot of background characters that tried to explore a lot of different populations and give rep to a lot of people. and that might be it, because there was a lot of stuff i didn't like.
for example:
- trying to do WAY TOO MUCH and so doing all of it kind of badly
- this is not what teenage girls are like, I.M.O., and i should know b/c i'm 20 and i have a youthful spirit
- going off of that, this is by a male author and i'm always wary of male writers doing teenage girl characters. this was far from the worst i've seen (not toooo much girl hate, though there's a good bit) but it wasn't awesome. (also i see that this author's other book is also a female teenage protagonist so i'm kinda like...why?)
- Parker is WAY TOO MEAN!!! unrealistically so. and some of it goes away a bit with character development but it doesn't make sense in the first place
- there is no conclusion to ANYTHING!!! there are these crazy family tragedies and complex relationships and hints of romance and none of it comes to fruition at ALL. even like, little bits of information are introduced like they mean something and totally forgotten! (i.e., this completely random totally dropped 20-page subplot about Parker's friend's sister).
- i just hate hate hatedddd the romance.
- people are mean to a fat character for being fat and that's just...okay??? like they're "good" characters?? and still??? nothing changes????
- also there's a point where a character is like "yeah she'd be pretty if she wasn't fat! i'm not fatphobic you know what i mean!!" no sarah. no one knows what you mean.
- there were a lot of little things like that, really. throwaway lines that just make ya go "oof. not very good."
anyway. i didn't realize i had such a rant in me. lower rating than i expected it is!
bottom line: there need (need need need) to be more books about blind characters. and also i would like if they were better than this one.
reading this was an extremely odd experience, and actually i'm just going to link to Cait @ Paper Fury's review b/c it is perfect and completely covers my thoughts and then i'll just rehash some of them here i guess for the sake of "actually writing a review, kind of." or whatever.
but really, again - you should just read Cait's.
so Not If I See You First follows a blind girl named Parker. Parker's dad just died and her aunt + co. (including two cousins) moved into her house b/c it was nicer than their old one. yikes!! anyway Parker is a bit of a...how you say...um...insufferable meanie. honestly it's a whole lot to deal with. anyway it's the first day of school (how exciting) (yay school supplies) (yay a nice new outfit) (don't you love it) (august just end already god i'm excited) and Parker's old high school is joinin' up with a different high school in the area and long story short PARKER'S EX BOYFRIEND IS IN HER GOSH DAMN CLASS!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT.
this ex boyfriend Wronged Her Severely (but no spoilers) () but actually they are soulmates and best friends even though they were 13 when they ""dated.""
god honestly is that a normal behavior for thirteen year olds??? thirteen year old me was way too busy memorizing rote biographical information about teen pop sensations and ignoring all information about how to apply makeup to kiss ANYONE.
anyway the plot of this book is confusing if it's there. i don't know if this is about Parker's Romantic Life� (which includes Ex-Bf Dreamboat and Charming Shoe Salesman, ).
i don't know if this is about Parker's Friendship Life� (she has a whopping 3 friends and nonstop drama with them which, guess what, MAKES NO SENSE).
similarly i do not know if this is about Parker's Family Life� (because god it should be - listen to this sh*t: )
anyway. there are bits of this i liked: Parker's blindness, obviously. um. she also runs, which is cool. and there are a lot of background characters that tried to explore a lot of different populations and give rep to a lot of people. and that might be it, because there was a lot of stuff i didn't like.
for example:
- trying to do WAY TOO MUCH and so doing all of it kind of badly
- this is not what teenage girls are like, I.M.O., and i should know b/c i'm 20 and i have a youthful spirit
- going off of that, this is by a male author and i'm always wary of male writers doing teenage girl characters. this was far from the worst i've seen (not toooo much girl hate, though there's a good bit) but it wasn't awesome. (also i see that this author's other book is also a female teenage protagonist so i'm kinda like...why?)
- Parker is WAY TOO MEAN!!! unrealistically so. and some of it goes away a bit with character development but it doesn't make sense in the first place
- there is no conclusion to ANYTHING!!! there are these crazy family tragedies and complex relationships and hints of romance and none of it comes to fruition at ALL. even like, little bits of information are introduced like they mean something and totally forgotten! (i.e., this completely random totally dropped 20-page subplot about Parker's friend's sister).
- i just hate hate hatedddd the romance.
- people are mean to a fat character for being fat and that's just...okay??? like they're "good" characters?? and still??? nothing changes????
- also there's a point where a character is like "yeah she'd be pretty if she wasn't fat! i'm not fatphobic you know what i mean!!" no sarah. no one knows what you mean.
- there were a lot of little things like that, really. throwaway lines that just make ya go "oof. not very good."
anyway. i didn't realize i had such a rant in me. lower rating than i expected it is!
bottom line: there need (need need need) to be more books about blind characters. and also i would like if they were better than this one.
March 28, 2021
Parker is blind, but she doesn't want special treatment. Parker is also tough: she never gives up and is as hard on herself as she is on just about everyone else. She also has RULES, and if you break any of them, you will feel the sharp bite of her tongue like a lash.
Prickly Parker is difficult to warm up to at first, but the author does an excellent job at character development, and towards the end of the novel you are cheering for her, both on and off the high school track field. Parker's father recently died, and as the story opens, she is repressing all of her dark emotions. But when her ex-friend and "almost boyfriend," Scott, is transferred to her high school, her fragile hold on the brave facade she has been presenting to her friends and classmates disintegrates - with a vengeance!
Ultimately, Parker realizes that she doesn't want to be the unforgiving "mean girl" she had become. She decides to forgive, and seek forgiveness, for something that happened when she and Scott were just 13 years old. What truly impressed me was the fact that the author did not have the characters fall back immediately into their old relationship: both have to rebuild trust; both have abandonment issues that need to be dealt with and resolved before they can be friends again. This was a heartwarming, realistic approach to resolving the conflict between the two main characters.
Eric Lindstrom is very in touch with his feelings - and he obviously understands teens and children very well. (I bet he is a fabulous father and husband! He gets all the Best Dad mugs, for sure!). I look forward to future novels from this author. I highly, highly recommend this excellent novel.
Prickly Parker is difficult to warm up to at first, but the author does an excellent job at character development, and towards the end of the novel you are cheering for her, both on and off the high school track field. Parker's father recently died, and as the story opens, she is repressing all of her dark emotions. But when her ex-friend and "almost boyfriend," Scott, is transferred to her high school, her fragile hold on the brave facade she has been presenting to her friends and classmates disintegrates - with a vengeance!
Ultimately, Parker realizes that she doesn't want to be the unforgiving "mean girl" she had become. She decides to forgive, and seek forgiveness, for something that happened when she and Scott were just 13 years old. What truly impressed me was the fact that the author did not have the characters fall back immediately into their old relationship: both have to rebuild trust; both have abandonment issues that need to be dealt with and resolved before they can be friends again. This was a heartwarming, realistic approach to resolving the conflict between the two main characters.
Eric Lindstrom is very in touch with his feelings - and he obviously understands teens and children very well. (I bet he is a fabulous father and husband! He gets all the Best Dad mugs, for sure!). I look forward to future novels from this author. I highly, highly recommend this excellent novel.
February 26, 2016
(Source: I received a digital copy of this book for free on a read-to-review basis. Thanks to HarperCollins UK, Children's and NetGalley.)
Rule #8: Don’t treat me like I’m stupid or a child. Blind doesn’t mean brain damaged.
This was a YA story about a blind girl, with a dash of romance.
Parker was quite a prickly person really, and her rules were pretty unforgiving � no second chances with this girl (because obviously she never makes mistakes). I actually felt quite sorry for her friends and family who did their best to make things a bit easier for her and got it thrown back in their faces! See Rule #4: Don’t help me unless I ask. Otherwise you’re just getting in my way or bothering me.
The storyline in this was about Parker and her day-to-day life, as well as a bit of romance, partly in the form of a cute guy called Jason, and her ex-boyfriend Scott, who was in trouble for breaking rule #1 Don’t deceive me. Ever. And thus fell under rule #INFINITY: There are no second chances. Pretty harsh when all the guy did was tell someone where they’d be making out at lunchtime.
Anyway, the pace dragged in this quite a bit, Parker was a bit snarky, and I did think her rules were a bit harsh. I also felt like the romance was a bit wishy-washy � did she like Jason, or did she like Scott? Would she ever make up her mind?
The ending to this was then okay, but was left slightly open to interpretation.
6 out of 10
Rule #8: Don’t treat me like I’m stupid or a child. Blind doesn’t mean brain damaged.
This was a YA story about a blind girl, with a dash of romance.
Parker was quite a prickly person really, and her rules were pretty unforgiving � no second chances with this girl (because obviously she never makes mistakes). I actually felt quite sorry for her friends and family who did their best to make things a bit easier for her and got it thrown back in their faces! See Rule #4: Don’t help me unless I ask. Otherwise you’re just getting in my way or bothering me.
The storyline in this was about Parker and her day-to-day life, as well as a bit of romance, partly in the form of a cute guy called Jason, and her ex-boyfriend Scott, who was in trouble for breaking rule #1 Don’t deceive me. Ever. And thus fell under rule #INFINITY: There are no second chances. Pretty harsh when all the guy did was tell someone where they’d be making out at lunchtime.
Anyway, the pace dragged in this quite a bit, Parker was a bit snarky, and I did think her rules were a bit harsh. I also felt like the romance was a bit wishy-washy � did she like Jason, or did she like Scott? Would she ever make up her mind?
The ending to this was then okay, but was left slightly open to interpretation.
6 out of 10
April 15, 2019
If there’s anyone who has the right to be a snobbish, self-centered bitch, it’s Parker Grant and true to her form, she was very consistent to the title up to about 75% mark of the book and I honestly respect her for it. Her mom got herself and seven-year old Parker in a fatal accident causing the then little girl not only the loss of her eyesight but a mother as well. I doubt anyone will be sweet as an angel after that.
Ever since, she has been surviving and coping, living her life as perfectly as she could without her eyesight and has generally been defensive by creating all these stern rules to protect herself from further hurting physically, but especially emotionally after another recent tragic loss and after an incident she thought betrayed her entire trust to a person.
She’s been playing it cool, trying to act normal until like a dam, she explodes and crashes due to pent up emotions and realizes that she may not be right all the time and that the ability to see isn’t necessarily the same as being able to understand and that most of the time, she’s an even more capable person than those who have the sense of sight and therefore making her realize that not everything is about her.
Just because others could see and Parker couldn’t doesn’t have to mean she is at a disadvantage all the time because there are things people get to understand deeper without seeing. The story is a nice reminder of people’s physical and emotional differences and that every person loses something valuable all the time. It doesn’t give us the right to be mean to other people though or be so defensive. We have to accept and learn that everyone needs help and I’m very glad that as soon as Parker realizes this, she opens herself up to people who genuinely care about her.
February 20, 2018
3.75* Not If I See You First was funny, adorable and heartbreaking, whilst also being continuously informative and enlightening to someone who hasn't experienced being blind, nor read a book with a blind protagonist (which is something I definitely need to read more of!) I really enjoyed Parker as a character, she was a tough, honest, witty teenage with flaws. Yes, my heart broke for her, due to everything she'd had to deal with, but it also cheered her on. She was definitely frustrating at times but despite that, I couldn't dislike her. She was delightfully cynical and kickass but also vulnerable and desperately trying to hold herself together, which I think is a feeling a lot of people can to relate to.
I absolutely adored the multiple friendship dynamics. They all came from different friendship groups and had their ups and downs but were their for each other despite their differences. They fought for each other, against each other but most of all they communicated, which was so lovely to read. Although the romance did fall a little flat for me, I ended up really appreciating it. It wasn't a 'sweep you off your feet' or a 'heart broken on the floor' dramatic love but it felt refreshingly low-key. Plus the ending made my heart incredibly happy.
My main criticism of this was the occasional but nonetheless clear and harmful body shaming/fatphobic language. This is something that always frustrates me to no end and unfortunately did somewhat taint my reading experience. Nevertheless, this was an enjoyable, heartwarming and easy read discussing grief, blindness, friendship, family and so much more.
TW:
� discussion of possible suicide/drug overdose.
� body shaming/fatphobic language.
I absolutely adored the multiple friendship dynamics. They all came from different friendship groups and had their ups and downs but were their for each other despite their differences. They fought for each other, against each other but most of all they communicated, which was so lovely to read. Although the romance did fall a little flat for me, I ended up really appreciating it. It wasn't a 'sweep you off your feet' or a 'heart broken on the floor' dramatic love but it felt refreshingly low-key. Plus the ending made my heart incredibly happy.
My main criticism of this was the occasional but nonetheless clear and harmful body shaming/fatphobic language. This is something that always frustrates me to no end and unfortunately did somewhat taint my reading experience. Nevertheless, this was an enjoyable, heartwarming and easy read discussing grief, blindness, friendship, family and so much more.
TW:
� discussion of possible suicide/drug overdose.
� body shaming/fatphobic language.
June 1, 2017
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.�
----Maya Angelou
Eric Lindstrom, an American author, has penned a terrific debut young adult contemporary fiction called, Not If I See You First that revolves around a blind teenage girl, who recently lost her father and since then she hasn't cried at all, and she loves to play by her strict rule book, and if anyone breaks those rules, then there is no second chance for that person, but lately, this girl is finding it real hard to stop herself from falling in love with someone who once broke her heart and all her emotions are welling up on the inside upon learning some secrets from the past that she has buried.
Synopsis:
The Rules:
Don't deceive me. Ever. Especially using my blindness. Especially in public.
Don't help me unless I ask. Otherwise you're just getting in my way or bothering me.
Don't be weird. Seriously, other than having my eyes closed all the time, I'm just like you only smarter.
Parker Grant doesn't need 20/20 vision to see right through you. That's why she created the Rules: Don't treat her any differently just because she's blind, and never take advantage. There will be no second chances. Just ask Scott Kilpatrick, the boy who broke her heart.
When Scott suddenly reappears in her life after being gone for years, Parker knows there's only one way to react-shun him so hard it hurts. She has enough on her mind already, like trying out for the track team (that's right, her eyes don't work but her legs still do), doling out tough-love advice to her painfully naive classmates, and giving herself gold stars for every day she hasn't cried since her dad's death three months ago. But avoiding her past quickly proves impossible, and the more Parker learns about what really happened--both with Scott, and her dad--the more she starts to question if things are always as they seem. Maybe, just maybe, some Rules are meant to be broken.
Parker Grant, the high school teenager, is a blind girl whose other senses work better than normal teenagers' and hence no one dares to mess up with her in school and not to mention, she has a set of strict rules that everyone including herself needs to abide by and if they don't, there is no forgiveness or second chances for that person. Parker is a nonsense teenager, who advises her peers about the reality behind teenage love stories, but lately she herself can't escape from cupid's arrow when she finds herself feeling smitten over Jason and his charm, adding fuel to that fire is Scott, who broke her heart long time ago and now is back again to steal her heart. Even though she hasn't shed a single tear drop after her father's death and is learning to cope with her new life amongst her aunt and her cousin, yet she is bending the rules of her own for the first time ever, when she learns the ugly truth behind her father's death.
This is the first time that I read any teenage fiction which is quite profound and not cliched in any possible way. This book has exceeded all my expectations and turned out to be so brilliantly charming as well as thought-provocative. Nowadays, the YA market is full of cliched and melodramatic teenage love stories, where the hero or the heroine is flawed because of their mental illness or some fatal illness, and is finding love with someone flawless, instead this one turned out to be a fresh read for me. And I'm glad that I picked up a copy of this book. The best thing is that the author has kept the story line light yet he has managed to touch bases with some real-life teenage problems vividly.
The writing is fresh and coherent enough to let the readers comprehend with its eloquent prose. The emotions aren't too deep yet it will strike the readers with its force at the right places. The narrative is catchy and flows freely through the story line, and is laced with realism all throughout. The pacing is moderate, as there aren't much drama, but readers will follow around the life of the protagonist who goes through transition period after learning certain truths about her past.
The characters are well developed, here I would like to say only the main character takes the center stage and from her perspective, the readers will get to learn about the supporting cast, which fails to leave an impression on it's readers' minds. Parker is a great protagonist, who will inspire the young minds with her ordeal through life. Parker has a smart mouth, speaks honestly and that might annoy few readers for Parker being too selfish and frank, both at the same time. And gradually the readers can see the soft side of Parker which exists under layers of pain and grief that she has never shared, but eventually she learns to cope with everything, her feelings and all and that will make the readers fall for her.
The romance remains in the backseat of this whole story (thank god for that!) pretty much the entire length of this novel, as the author majorly focuses on teenage female friendships and the value of those who matter to us, despite not being related by blood, and also Parker's self growth from being too cynical to being thoughtful and mature. And that sums up the entire novel, where Parker learns to bend her own rules.
In a nutshell, the author promotes self love through this book, even though the main character suffers from a disability, yet she is depicted as brave and someone who needs no saving from anyone. A smart and fearless take on teenage friendships and dealings with grief and loss.
Verdict: A highly entertaining and an enlightening novel about a blind girl and her take on this world.
Courtesy: Thanks to the publishers from Harper Collins India for giving me an opportunity to read and review this book.
----Maya Angelou
Eric Lindstrom, an American author, has penned a terrific debut young adult contemporary fiction called, Not If I See You First that revolves around a blind teenage girl, who recently lost her father and since then she hasn't cried at all, and she loves to play by her strict rule book, and if anyone breaks those rules, then there is no second chance for that person, but lately, this girl is finding it real hard to stop herself from falling in love with someone who once broke her heart and all her emotions are welling up on the inside upon learning some secrets from the past that she has buried.
Synopsis:
The Rules:
Don't deceive me. Ever. Especially using my blindness. Especially in public.
Don't help me unless I ask. Otherwise you're just getting in my way or bothering me.
Don't be weird. Seriously, other than having my eyes closed all the time, I'm just like you only smarter.
Parker Grant doesn't need 20/20 vision to see right through you. That's why she created the Rules: Don't treat her any differently just because she's blind, and never take advantage. There will be no second chances. Just ask Scott Kilpatrick, the boy who broke her heart.
When Scott suddenly reappears in her life after being gone for years, Parker knows there's only one way to react-shun him so hard it hurts. She has enough on her mind already, like trying out for the track team (that's right, her eyes don't work but her legs still do), doling out tough-love advice to her painfully naive classmates, and giving herself gold stars for every day she hasn't cried since her dad's death three months ago. But avoiding her past quickly proves impossible, and the more Parker learns about what really happened--both with Scott, and her dad--the more she starts to question if things are always as they seem. Maybe, just maybe, some Rules are meant to be broken.
Parker Grant, the high school teenager, is a blind girl whose other senses work better than normal teenagers' and hence no one dares to mess up with her in school and not to mention, she has a set of strict rules that everyone including herself needs to abide by and if they don't, there is no forgiveness or second chances for that person. Parker is a nonsense teenager, who advises her peers about the reality behind teenage love stories, but lately she herself can't escape from cupid's arrow when she finds herself feeling smitten over Jason and his charm, adding fuel to that fire is Scott, who broke her heart long time ago and now is back again to steal her heart. Even though she hasn't shed a single tear drop after her father's death and is learning to cope with her new life amongst her aunt and her cousin, yet she is bending the rules of her own for the first time ever, when she learns the ugly truth behind her father's death.
This is the first time that I read any teenage fiction which is quite profound and not cliched in any possible way. This book has exceeded all my expectations and turned out to be so brilliantly charming as well as thought-provocative. Nowadays, the YA market is full of cliched and melodramatic teenage love stories, where the hero or the heroine is flawed because of their mental illness or some fatal illness, and is finding love with someone flawless, instead this one turned out to be a fresh read for me. And I'm glad that I picked up a copy of this book. The best thing is that the author has kept the story line light yet he has managed to touch bases with some real-life teenage problems vividly.
The writing is fresh and coherent enough to let the readers comprehend with its eloquent prose. The emotions aren't too deep yet it will strike the readers with its force at the right places. The narrative is catchy and flows freely through the story line, and is laced with realism all throughout. The pacing is moderate, as there aren't much drama, but readers will follow around the life of the protagonist who goes through transition period after learning certain truths about her past.
The characters are well developed, here I would like to say only the main character takes the center stage and from her perspective, the readers will get to learn about the supporting cast, which fails to leave an impression on it's readers' minds. Parker is a great protagonist, who will inspire the young minds with her ordeal through life. Parker has a smart mouth, speaks honestly and that might annoy few readers for Parker being too selfish and frank, both at the same time. And gradually the readers can see the soft side of Parker which exists under layers of pain and grief that she has never shared, but eventually she learns to cope with everything, her feelings and all and that will make the readers fall for her.
The romance remains in the backseat of this whole story (thank god for that!) pretty much the entire length of this novel, as the author majorly focuses on teenage female friendships and the value of those who matter to us, despite not being related by blood, and also Parker's self growth from being too cynical to being thoughtful and mature. And that sums up the entire novel, where Parker learns to bend her own rules.
In a nutshell, the author promotes self love through this book, even though the main character suffers from a disability, yet she is depicted as brave and someone who needs no saving from anyone. A smart and fearless take on teenage friendships and dealings with grief and loss.
Verdict: A highly entertaining and an enlightening novel about a blind girl and her take on this world.
Courtesy: Thanks to the publishers from Harper Collins India for giving me an opportunity to read and review this book.
January 20, 2016
Not If I See You First was an exceptional debut that managed to captivate me from page 1 and not let go until long after reading. Lindstrom creates a MC that refuses to let her lack of sight get in her way, she’s downright ferocious at times. Parker is strong, funny, and sarcastic, she wants to be treated like any other teenager. This book will make you laugh, cry; both with joy and sadness and more profoundly change your outlook on life, I can’t think of a better way to start your 2016 than with this heartwarming book.
Parker was in a car accident at age 7 in which Parker lost her mother and her sight. Parker’s life has been difficult ever since but she refuses to let her lack of sight hold her back, she still attends school, hangs out with her friends and even going on daily morning runs. What really rocks Parker’s world is losing her father, as a result her auntie and cousins have come to live with Parker so she can stay in her home and school, an environment that she is already familiar with. Adding to Parker’s traumatic few months, she soon discovers that Scott, her former best childhood best friend and boyfriend, who betrayed Parker so deeply years ago, is now in her high school.
Parker is fantastic, she’s just so inspirational and not because she’s blind or considered disabled and you feel sorry for her, nope none of that bullshit, because of her no nonsense attitude is freaking infectious, she’s a thorny rose and I absolutely adore her and what’s more is that she’s a little bit of a mess and selfish and inconsiderate at times; in short, she’s no perfect princess and hallelujah for that! More main character’s like Parker and her relationship’s with her friends are what we need more of in YA books and of course it’s terrific that we get to read about character’s with disabilities but to write it well is another thing, Lindstrom’s writing was so emotional and wonderful allowing you to experience everything Parker goes through.
The romance was my favorite; oh there aren’t enough words to express how much I enjoyed it! I understood both characters, I understood their worries and concerns and was able to be on both sides at the same time, but I also see why each held on to their past mistakes but watching them break away from that was so heartwarming and uplifting; Parker and Scott’s bond is truly one of a kind.
Overall Not If I See You First was an emotionally charged debut that will take you on a roller-coaster of emotions and soon enough you won’t want it to end. I was so sad to say goodbye to Parker, her character development was so fantastic but I look forward to more of Lindstrom’s work. I highly recommend this to literally everyone, go read it!
| |
Parker was in a car accident at age 7 in which Parker lost her mother and her sight. Parker’s life has been difficult ever since but she refuses to let her lack of sight hold her back, she still attends school, hangs out with her friends and even going on daily morning runs. What really rocks Parker’s world is losing her father, as a result her auntie and cousins have come to live with Parker so she can stay in her home and school, an environment that she is already familiar with. Adding to Parker’s traumatic few months, she soon discovers that Scott, her former best childhood best friend and boyfriend, who betrayed Parker so deeply years ago, is now in her high school.
Parker is fantastic, she’s just so inspirational and not because she’s blind or considered disabled and you feel sorry for her, nope none of that bullshit, because of her no nonsense attitude is freaking infectious, she’s a thorny rose and I absolutely adore her and what’s more is that she’s a little bit of a mess and selfish and inconsiderate at times; in short, she’s no perfect princess and hallelujah for that! More main character’s like Parker and her relationship’s with her friends are what we need more of in YA books and of course it’s terrific that we get to read about character’s with disabilities but to write it well is another thing, Lindstrom’s writing was so emotional and wonderful allowing you to experience everything Parker goes through.
The romance was my favorite; oh there aren’t enough words to express how much I enjoyed it! I understood both characters, I understood their worries and concerns and was able to be on both sides at the same time, but I also see why each held on to their past mistakes but watching them break away from that was so heartwarming and uplifting; Parker and Scott’s bond is truly one of a kind.
Overall Not If I See You First was an emotionally charged debut that will take you on a roller-coaster of emotions and soon enough you won’t want it to end. I was so sad to say goodbye to Parker, her character development was so fantastic but I look forward to more of Lindstrom’s work. I highly recommend this to literally everyone, go read it!
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March 4, 2017
Before I started this book, I was doubting my love for YA, because I'd read some predictable books. But this book made me fall in love all over again with YA. This is a perfect contemporary, and I love it to pieces.
I understand why people want to underline things in books, but I'm glad I did not started it, because at one point I would have had three completely marked pages.
I'm almost sad I got this book from the library and I did not buy it.
I recommend this if you like a diversity, out of your comfort zone book. The main character is blind, it this books really shows you (pun not intended) how different the world is if you are not able to see.
And she is badass, I really like her. While she is blind, she stumbles upon things other teenagers can also experience, in school or with friends. but because she is blind, everything is more intense somehow, the emotions and the meaning of stuff. This is logical in the story, it is not over the top or anything.
But I really felt and lived with her because I recognized some things, and she really handles them in a realistic but very good manner. A meaningful YA book, for lovers of or .
But also, this book is really cute and fluffy, so if you love or , I also recommend this book.
Just go and read it if you like YA contemporary, trust me :)
I understand why people want to underline things in books, but I'm glad I did not started it, because at one point I would have had three completely marked pages.
I'm almost sad I got this book from the library and I did not buy it.
I recommend this if you like a diversity, out of your comfort zone book. The main character is blind, it this books really shows you (pun not intended) how different the world is if you are not able to see.
And she is badass, I really like her. While she is blind, she stumbles upon things other teenagers can also experience, in school or with friends. but because she is blind, everything is more intense somehow, the emotions and the meaning of stuff. This is logical in the story, it is not over the top or anything.
But I really felt and lived with her because I recognized some things, and she really handles them in a realistic but very good manner. A meaningful YA book, for lovers of or .
But also, this book is really cute and fluffy, so if you love or , I also recommend this book.
Just go and read it if you like YA contemporary, trust me :)
Read
December 28, 2015Okay, I loved 99 percent of this book. I love prickly, super-snarky characters and if anyone deserves to be snarky, it's Parker. She's got a pretty tough life and she uses her snark as a defense mechanism to keep others at a distance.
So if you don't like snarky characters, rest assured that Parker does experience some character growth. However, given that character arc (which is also linked to the romance) I found the ending pretty unsatisfying. I'm not that reader who insists on a HEA - I don't mind sad endings or somewhat unresolved endings but this book seemed to me to be leading me toward a certain type of ending, based on what the characters seemed to be thinking and feeling and then .... what the what????
Other than that issue, I really enjoyed this.
Read more of my reviews on or follow me on
Thanks to the publisher for providing an advance copy for review!
So if you don't like snarky characters, rest assured that Parker does experience some character growth. However, given that character arc (which is also linked to the romance) I found the ending pretty unsatisfying. I'm not that reader who insists on a HEA - I don't mind sad endings or somewhat unresolved endings but this book seemed to me to be leading me toward a certain type of ending, based on what the characters seemed to be thinking and feeling and then .... what the what????
Other than that issue, I really enjoyed this.
Read more of my reviews on or follow me on
Thanks to the publisher for providing an advance copy for review!
August 2, 2019
LINK UPDATED
Actual rating 4.25
Aunt Celia, Uncle Sam, and cousins Sheila and Petey have moved into Parker’s house to save her from having to move and change school on top of everything else.
The rest of this review can be found
Actual rating 4.25
I know it was an accident. Oxycodone for your back, then some more when it didn’t work along with some ibuprofen for swelling, plus some Xanax, and then a couple beers that made you forget you already took them and you took more, and extra Xanax because you were having a bad week, all adding up to stop your breathing sometime between one and three in the morning. I know you wouldn’t have left me here alone on purpose, no matter what the cops or the insurance people or my closest relatives say. I know it.Three months ago, Parker Grant’s father died and she’s having a bit of a rough time without him, but she’s putting on a brave face. And there’s a lot to keep her distracted.
Aunt Celia, Uncle Sam, and cousins Sheila and Petey have moved into Parker’s house to save her from having to move and change school on top of everything else.
I’d caused a minor uproar when they first moved in because after I cut my food I don’t switch my fork to my right hand for each bite. This is a concept that (1) had never occurred to me, (2) is common etiquette supposedly, at least among people who still obsess about things like this, and (3) is something that I find utterly bizarre.The other school in town has been shut down, so there’s an influx of new kids to educate in the rules according to Parker, and her ex-best friend turned lifelong enemy is among them.
I usually wear a frayed army jacket, arms torn off, covered with buttons that friends bought or made over the years. Slogans like Yes, I’m blind, get over it! and Blind, not deaf, not stupid! and my personal favorite, Parker Grant doesn’t need eyes to see through you! Aunt Celia talked me out of it this morning, saying it would overwhelm all the people from Jefferson who don’t know me. She’s wrong, it turns out. They need to be overwhelmed.And she’s met a new boy.
“You’re admitting to being at a loss for words? Careful, I don’t think I can handle my world turning upside down twice in one conversation.�
I take another breath. “All I can say is, he knew how to talk to a blind girl.�
“Damn, girl, that’s all you needed to say.�
The rest of this review can be found
September 14, 2017
This book is not about blindness. This book is about a girl who is blind.
Though the differences between the two above may seem minute, it is an important distinction to make. If you approach this book with the former, you will probably be disappointed. Conversely, if you approach this book with the latter, you may enjoy it as much as I did.
Not If I See You First is as surprisingly delightful debut. A largely character-driven book, it offers layers and layers of character development that pairs and builds wonderfully with Parker's blindness. I couldn't stop taking notes whilst reading this book; it engaged me and I relished in its spectacular and nuanced writing and narrative.
Parker is, at first, unlikable. She is honest to a fault, wears her blindness like spiked armour, and cynical. For this reason, the book may take time to get into, but your patience will be rewarded; Parker's character development is one of the most wonderful executions I have read in a long time. It's almost poetic; given Parker's plethora of flaws, that message is very pertinent to the reader's perceptions of her. Parker is a seemingly caustic girl who is, underneath her exterior, a girl who thinks a lot and lets those thoughts affect her reality, is scared to trust people, and is trying to navigate new friendships without getting hurt but makes many mistakes in the process. She is a messy human being but delightfully so.
Not If I See You First examines a handful of ideas, but there is one that I would like to highlight. At its heart, Not If I See You First explores the dual nature of perception; namely, the ability to see as well as how we view the world. It explores how blindness allows Parker to 'see' people clearly for who they are, but how that kind of perception also makes her 'blind' to how perceptions affect and change people. It is truly fascinating, and I enjoyed the duality and the complex parallel metaphors. More so, the book also sheds light on how so many of our social standards and social pressures are correlated with things that we can see, thus promising some pleasantly surprising truths about the book's characters.
Essentially, Lindstrom has crafted a character and narrative that eloquently communicates the underlying themes of the book: that first impressions are not always correct and that appearances can be deceiving. It is also about how people change, and though we understand that fact about ourselves, we seldom understand and recognize that in others. And this holds true for the relationships between Parker and the other characters, which were fantastically written and remarkably down-to-earth. Can I also say that Parker's friends were just so, so amazing?
Not If I See You First is a lighthearted and heartfelt book about a girl and how she makes mistakes, realizes she is and can be wrong, but grows and learns. It may explore a myriad of ideas, namely disabilities and ableism, grief, independence, family, friendship, love, growth, and change. The more I think about this book, the more I find and appreciate and the more I fall in love with it. Honest, profound, candid but also subtle, Not If I See You First is a wonderful debut, and I can't wait to read more of Lindstrom's work.
Rating: 4 / 5
-
Is this book for you?
PremiseÌýin a sentence:ÌýA blind teen has to confront her past.
Perfect for:ÌýReaders who love an unlikeable character, and readers who likes book that subvert the status quo of contemporary novels.
Genre:ÌýYoung adult,Ìýcontemporary
Recommended? Yes!
-
This review can also be found on my book blog,
Though the differences between the two above may seem minute, it is an important distinction to make. If you approach this book with the former, you will probably be disappointed. Conversely, if you approach this book with the latter, you may enjoy it as much as I did.
Not If I See You First is as surprisingly delightful debut. A largely character-driven book, it offers layers and layers of character development that pairs and builds wonderfully with Parker's blindness. I couldn't stop taking notes whilst reading this book; it engaged me and I relished in its spectacular and nuanced writing and narrative.
Parker is, at first, unlikable. She is honest to a fault, wears her blindness like spiked armour, and cynical. For this reason, the book may take time to get into, but your patience will be rewarded; Parker's character development is one of the most wonderful executions I have read in a long time. It's almost poetic; given Parker's plethora of flaws, that message is very pertinent to the reader's perceptions of her. Parker is a seemingly caustic girl who is, underneath her exterior, a girl who thinks a lot and lets those thoughts affect her reality, is scared to trust people, and is trying to navigate new friendships without getting hurt but makes many mistakes in the process. She is a messy human being but delightfully so.
It’s a common belief that losing your sight heightens your other senses, and it’s true, but not by magnifying them. It just gets rid of the overwhelming distraction of seeing everything all the time.
Not If I See You First examines a handful of ideas, but there is one that I would like to highlight. At its heart, Not If I See You First explores the dual nature of perception; namely, the ability to see as well as how we view the world. It explores how blindness allows Parker to 'see' people clearly for who they are, but how that kind of perception also makes her 'blind' to how perceptions affect and change people. It is truly fascinating, and I enjoyed the duality and the complex parallel metaphors. More so, the book also sheds light on how so many of our social standards and social pressures are correlated with things that we can see, thus promising some pleasantly surprising truths about the book's characters.
Essentially, Lindstrom has crafted a character and narrative that eloquently communicates the underlying themes of the book: that first impressions are not always correct and that appearances can be deceiving. It is also about how people change, and though we understand that fact about ourselves, we seldom understand and recognize that in others. And this holds true for the relationships between Parker and the other characters, which were fantastically written and remarkably down-to-earth. Can I also say that Parker's friends were just so, so amazing?
Not If I See You First is a lighthearted and heartfelt book about a girl and how she makes mistakes, realizes she is and can be wrong, but grows and learns. It may explore a myriad of ideas, namely disabilities and ableism, grief, independence, family, friendship, love, growth, and change. The more I think about this book, the more I find and appreciate and the more I fall in love with it. Honest, profound, candid but also subtle, Not If I See You First is a wonderful debut, and I can't wait to read more of Lindstrom's work.
Rating: 4 / 5
-
Is this book for you?
PremiseÌýin a sentence:ÌýA blind teen has to confront her past.
Perfect for:ÌýReaders who love an unlikeable character, and readers who likes book that subvert the status quo of contemporary novels.
Genre:ÌýYoung adult,Ìýcontemporary
Recommended? Yes!
-
This review can also be found on my book blog,
October 9, 2017
Now, let me explain the only 3 stars for my review.
This book was well written, the characters were real, the time and place were drawn well and, though I am not blind so I am not sure how someone who does not see would feel, I think the MC being blind and how she dealt with it was realistically done.
The part that made this only three stars and toss the book down about a third of the way in? The teenage drama. Blind teens have the same drama as those with sight. They aren't any different from anyone else. And that is shown in this book. I really do not do drama and since this book had a goodly amount of it, it just didn't work for me. But I'm not the target demographic with this book.
I think YA readers who enjoy contemporary settings and high school drama will really enjoy this book. Drama is not for me, but that's just me. The rest of this book is solid in building the characters in your mind, getting to understand a little of what a blind person goes through each day and the setting is realistic. So no, not a bad book, just not quite the right fit for me.
I definitely recommend this book if you are looking for a protagonist who has a disability and is living a regular life, including high school drama. 3 stars, but if this was my type of book, four to four and a half I think.
My thanks to NetGalley and Little, Brown Books for Young Readers Poppy for an eARC copy of this book to read and review.
This book was well written, the characters were real, the time and place were drawn well and, though I am not blind so I am not sure how someone who does not see would feel, I think the MC being blind and how she dealt with it was realistically done.
The part that made this only three stars and toss the book down about a third of the way in? The teenage drama. Blind teens have the same drama as those with sight. They aren't any different from anyone else. And that is shown in this book. I really do not do drama and since this book had a goodly amount of it, it just didn't work for me. But I'm not the target demographic with this book.
I think YA readers who enjoy contemporary settings and high school drama will really enjoy this book. Drama is not for me, but that's just me. The rest of this book is solid in building the characters in your mind, getting to understand a little of what a blind person goes through each day and the setting is realistic. So no, not a bad book, just not quite the right fit for me.
I definitely recommend this book if you are looking for a protagonist who has a disability and is living a regular life, including high school drama. 3 stars, but if this was my type of book, four to four and a half I think.
My thanks to NetGalley and Little, Brown Books for Young Readers Poppy for an eARC copy of this book to read and review.
January 20, 2016
This was definitely a fun read because of its concept. I've always wondered about the logistics of being blind and it was great to explore in this book and gain some empathy, even if the main character was overly whine-y. Cute but unsatisfying romance too.
October 7, 2015
Parker Grant may be blind, but she's the girl we would all liked to have been in high school: cool, smart, outwardly fearless and with a bullshit detector that she wields like the weapon it is. She's got the usual teen problems around boys, and a great group of friends, as well as some pretty entertaining frenemies. But what really makes this book terrific is her determination, in a completely unsentimental way, to not let her blindness interfere with her life. This comes across as part of her innate character - you know she would be a fighter, whether she was blind or not, and Lindstrom has nicely captured the 'sturm und drang' of her teenage emotions. And there's some good plays in the story on metaphorical blindness, to which Parker herself is not immune. The backstory on her parents adds a touch of tragedy, and is part of what she has to come to terms with in order to grow up. An interesting stylistic note: as she's blind, we mostly find out about people she meets through their voices. An absorbing, read-until-one-in-the-morning story. Recommended with pleasure.
March 8, 2017
3,5 sterren: erg leuk boek dat jammer genoeg wel een beetje vaag was. De schrijfstijl is lekker vlot maar soms een beetje té, de hoofdpersoon is heerlijk stoer en toch heel kwetsbaar en onzeker. Ik vond het erg goed hoe het blind-zijn beschreven wordt, en dan vooral de fantastische schateren en grinniken-humor. Uitgebreide recensie:
February 8, 2017
Parker lost her sight in a car accident that killed her mother when she was young. Since then, her father was her everything. They had a close-knit relationship, and he was her best friend. But three months before the novel takes place, Parker’s dad died of an overdose on anti-depressants. She had no idea he was even on them. Now living in her dad’s house with her aunt and her aunt’s family, Parker hasn’t cried ever since the day he died. Not even once. And Parker shrouds herself in a thick armor. She doesn’t need vision to see through your bullshit; she has a list of rules that you cannot break. Fool her once, and you won’t get a second chance. She’s created a balance for herself, but that balance is thrown off kilter when Scott Kilpatrick � her bestfriend turned boyfriend when she was thirteen � shows up at her high school.
Not If I See You First is shelved under romance on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ, but that’s a straight-up lie. This is not a romance book. It is a book about one girl’s struggle with her unwillingness to feel grief, her life after the demise of her parents, her struggles with letting people in without treating them like crap. This is a story about Parker’s growth, her development from a closed-off, bitter young woman to who she is at the end of the novel. Romance plays a role, but this is not a book with a romance between Parker and Scott, or Parker and some other love interest. It’s a ‘romanceâ€� between Parker and her girl friendships, between Parker and her new family, between Parker and herself. Don’t go into this expecting a romance, because you won’t get it.
And in many ways, that’s the strongest feat of the novel. Lindstrom seems to have a set plan in mind from the get-go. Parker is the main character, and the rest is background noise. Anything not revolving around our protagonist is given little to no thought, and usually that’s a bother for someone like me who prefers ‘wholesome� contemporaries, but not this one (not that this book isn’t wholesome because it really is). Because Parker’s strength as a character is such a powerful force that you begin to see everything through her eyes. You feel her anger, her frustration, the private moments of grief that she allows herself to feel. She feels like an actual person, and when you turn the last page, you feel a sense of loss because you got to know her. You got to be with her, and despite her severe flaws, despite her vices, you grow to love Parker. Like a sister, like a friend, like someone you can look up to.
I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t wary in the beginning of the book. Parker’s such a sarcastic, sharp-tongued, quippy, bitter person that you ask yourself, “Do I want to read a book where the main character, who is blind, is so bitter?� I was under the misconception that Parker was so closed-off because she’d lost her sight, but as the novel progresses, as things begin to unfold and fall into place, it becomes apparent that this was never a book about Parker being blind or her struggles. She does struggle, but she also doesn’t let her disability dictate what she can do. She’s a runner, she’s a good student, she’s completely independent. And this is something a lot of authors can learn from � Lindstrom doesn’t share Parker’s disability, so a story about her disability and her struggles is not a story for him to write. But he can write about grief. Parker’s short-temper and frustration is a by-product of her forbidding herself to feel, because she believes that to feel is to be weak. This story is about grief and loss, and most of all, friendship.
It’s unfortunate that so few YA books that I’ve read emphasize the importance of friendship. They usually go something like � boy meets girl, one of them is going through crap, they fall in love and learn to cope. Which is fine, but how about friendship? This novel puts friendship to the forefront. Parker would never learn from her mistakes if she didn’t let her friends in. She would completely break down in her home environment if she didn’t start communicating with her aunt and cousin. Even with regards to Scott, most of the book looks at him through the lens of best friend rather than ex-boyfriend. He understood Parker, he helped her without ever making her realize that she was being helped, and she misses him because he was her best friend, not because they share some great kisses. Friendship. Parker and friendship � that’s what this book is about.
But despite all my praise, this isn’t a perfect book by any means. Because romance felt like such an insignificant part of the story, I wasn’t fully invested in the other love interest introduced. I would have loved more closure with regards to Parker’s home life, because despite being the most interesting aspect of the narrative for me, it was largely skimmed over � some parts left abandoned � at the end. But despite these minor issues, Not If I See You First is an incredible, beautifully written story that I won’t forget for a long, long time.
Not If I See You First is shelved under romance on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ, but that’s a straight-up lie. This is not a romance book. It is a book about one girl’s struggle with her unwillingness to feel grief, her life after the demise of her parents, her struggles with letting people in without treating them like crap. This is a story about Parker’s growth, her development from a closed-off, bitter young woman to who she is at the end of the novel. Romance plays a role, but this is not a book with a romance between Parker and Scott, or Parker and some other love interest. It’s a ‘romanceâ€� between Parker and her girl friendships, between Parker and her new family, between Parker and herself. Don’t go into this expecting a romance, because you won’t get it.
And in many ways, that’s the strongest feat of the novel. Lindstrom seems to have a set plan in mind from the get-go. Parker is the main character, and the rest is background noise. Anything not revolving around our protagonist is given little to no thought, and usually that’s a bother for someone like me who prefers ‘wholesome� contemporaries, but not this one (not that this book isn’t wholesome because it really is). Because Parker’s strength as a character is such a powerful force that you begin to see everything through her eyes. You feel her anger, her frustration, the private moments of grief that she allows herself to feel. She feels like an actual person, and when you turn the last page, you feel a sense of loss because you got to know her. You got to be with her, and despite her severe flaws, despite her vices, you grow to love Parker. Like a sister, like a friend, like someone you can look up to.
I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t wary in the beginning of the book. Parker’s such a sarcastic, sharp-tongued, quippy, bitter person that you ask yourself, “Do I want to read a book where the main character, who is blind, is so bitter?� I was under the misconception that Parker was so closed-off because she’d lost her sight, but as the novel progresses, as things begin to unfold and fall into place, it becomes apparent that this was never a book about Parker being blind or her struggles. She does struggle, but she also doesn’t let her disability dictate what she can do. She’s a runner, she’s a good student, she’s completely independent. And this is something a lot of authors can learn from � Lindstrom doesn’t share Parker’s disability, so a story about her disability and her struggles is not a story for him to write. But he can write about grief. Parker’s short-temper and frustration is a by-product of her forbidding herself to feel, because she believes that to feel is to be weak. This story is about grief and loss, and most of all, friendship.
It’s unfortunate that so few YA books that I’ve read emphasize the importance of friendship. They usually go something like � boy meets girl, one of them is going through crap, they fall in love and learn to cope. Which is fine, but how about friendship? This novel puts friendship to the forefront. Parker would never learn from her mistakes if she didn’t let her friends in. She would completely break down in her home environment if she didn’t start communicating with her aunt and cousin. Even with regards to Scott, most of the book looks at him through the lens of best friend rather than ex-boyfriend. He understood Parker, he helped her without ever making her realize that she was being helped, and she misses him because he was her best friend, not because they share some great kisses. Friendship. Parker and friendship � that’s what this book is about.
But despite all my praise, this isn’t a perfect book by any means. Because romance felt like such an insignificant part of the story, I wasn’t fully invested in the other love interest introduced. I would have loved more closure with regards to Parker’s home life, because despite being the most interesting aspect of the narrative for me, it was largely skimmed over � some parts left abandoned � at the end. But despite these minor issues, Not If I See You First is an incredible, beautifully written story that I won’t forget for a long, long time.
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January 19, 2016
You know that one GIF of Emma Stone crying and taking a photo with a camera? That's me right now. This book is so beautifully, mind-blowingly perfect, I don't know how I'm functioning. And yes, this is Shae saying these things about a contemporary. I know, apocalypse is nigh, right?
THINGS I LIKED:
-Parker. PARKERRRRRRRRRRRR. Parker is awesome. I loved so many things about Parker. I loved that she very firmly did NOT fall into the "sainted disabled person" trap. I love that she's blunt and sarcastic and sometimes not nice. I love that she makes mistakes—BIG ones—and totally digs in her heels and doesn't deal with it until the consequences slap her upside the back of the head, because how human is that? I love how loyal of a friend she is. I love that she gets scared but also takes no crap from anyone. Just... PARKERRRRRRRRR. (As an aside here, I've been shocked before at how poorly some male writers do with writing female characters. Not this guy. Not only did Parker feel 100% legitimate, but her FRIENDSHIPS with other females felt just right as well, and do you guys have any idea how rare that is?? A+++ FOR YOUR, MR. LINDSTROM, SIR!)
-Every other freaking character in this book. All of them! (Except maybe Aunt Celia, but she serves her purpose, too.) I cannot begin to describe the love I have for these characters. Sarah is the best friend anyone could ever ask for, Faith (Parker's anointed "enemend") is delightful, Scott is just nnnnnnnnnnnngh, Stockley was a surprising treat, Molly is perfect, and I still have a great deal of affection in my heart for Jason. Even Sheila ended up surprising me! Oh and Petey was too cute. Like I said, all of them, all of these wonderful, mixed up, messed up humans. *kisses them all on their little foreheads*
-The friendships. Holy wow. YA has gotten some flack over its lack of solid female friendships (beyond the stereotypical Kickbutt Heroine and her Girly Puppet Friend.) Not so here. Parker's support system is SO INSANELY TIGHT, and it goes both ways! Even better, there are different KINDS of friendships! Parker doesn't have the same relationship with Molly as she does Sarah as she does Faith. But all the friendships overlap and form a kind of metaphorical net that keeps them all safe and I just... I can't... Gah. AND there are platonic male-female friendships, which is awesome. ANNNNNNND, in a way, Parker's friendships extend to the entire school. The story opens with her school combining with another school, so she goes from knowing everyone and everyone knowing her to being a fish in a bigger pond, and most of her inner thoughts are about how she's going to have to teach the new kids the Rules. Because Parker has spent years teaching her school how to treat a blind person, and you better believe that even if she isn't besties with everyone (she totally isn't), they all still treat her with respect. The ONLY bullying she has to deal with in the entire book comes from the outsiders, and geez louise it's so refreshing not to have to be subjected to the standard high school cliques in this book.
-The romance. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH I CAN'T. It's too wonderful for words. All the romances/romantic relationships. What happens between Sarah and Rick and how they talk about it? Gold. Parker and Jason? Too realistic for my heart, yo. Parker and Scott? *explodes in a shower of glitter* Do you want to know how much I love Scott? How great I think this guy is? How good his heart is? Scott is like the contemporary Hector. There. I said it. I love this kid. And he totally makes mistakes, because dude is still a high school kid, but the road these two take and the mistakes they make and the conversations they have are positively life-giving.
-The issues and the talks. This book covers so many things. I mean, there's divorce and death and abandonment and suicide and insecurity and trust issues and being blind (both physically and figuratively) and superficiality and how to be a good friend and how to MAKE friends and so many other things that are all twisted around each other like spaghetti noodles and it's all handled so WELL. Even the minutiae about life as a blind person felt really real and perfect. (Standard disclaimer: I am not blind, nor am I emotionally close to anyone who is, so please take all praise and damnation on these issues with a grain of salt and defer to an actual blind person should they weigh in.)
I read this book in one round-trip train ride within Brooklyn and one laundromat visit. I DEVOURED this book, and I'm still riding on its high. Please, remember this is the girl who is so rarely sold on contemporaries and heed my words. Read this book.
LITTLE, BROWN! MY PEOPLE! YOU DONE GOOD, Y'ALL!
Notes for parents: (as best I can remember) Language, making out, trigger warnings for suicide, bullying, and car accidents.
THINGS I LIKED:
-Parker. PARKERRRRRRRRRRRR. Parker is awesome. I loved so many things about Parker. I loved that she very firmly did NOT fall into the "sainted disabled person" trap. I love that she's blunt and sarcastic and sometimes not nice. I love that she makes mistakes—BIG ones—and totally digs in her heels and doesn't deal with it until the consequences slap her upside the back of the head, because how human is that? I love how loyal of a friend she is. I love that she gets scared but also takes no crap from anyone. Just... PARKERRRRRRRRR. (As an aside here, I've been shocked before at how poorly some male writers do with writing female characters. Not this guy. Not only did Parker feel 100% legitimate, but her FRIENDSHIPS with other females felt just right as well, and do you guys have any idea how rare that is?? A+++ FOR YOUR, MR. LINDSTROM, SIR!)
-Every other freaking character in this book. All of them! (Except maybe Aunt Celia, but she serves her purpose, too.) I cannot begin to describe the love I have for these characters. Sarah is the best friend anyone could ever ask for, Faith (Parker's anointed "enemend") is delightful, Scott is just nnnnnnnnnnnngh, Stockley was a surprising treat, Molly is perfect, and I still have a great deal of affection in my heart for Jason. Even Sheila ended up surprising me! Oh and Petey was too cute. Like I said, all of them, all of these wonderful, mixed up, messed up humans. *kisses them all on their little foreheads*
-The friendships. Holy wow. YA has gotten some flack over its lack of solid female friendships (beyond the stereotypical Kickbutt Heroine and her Girly Puppet Friend.) Not so here. Parker's support system is SO INSANELY TIGHT, and it goes both ways! Even better, there are different KINDS of friendships! Parker doesn't have the same relationship with Molly as she does Sarah as she does Faith. But all the friendships overlap and form a kind of metaphorical net that keeps them all safe and I just... I can't... Gah. AND there are platonic male-female friendships, which is awesome. ANNNNNNND, in a way, Parker's friendships extend to the entire school. The story opens with her school combining with another school, so she goes from knowing everyone and everyone knowing her to being a fish in a bigger pond, and most of her inner thoughts are about how she's going to have to teach the new kids the Rules. Because Parker has spent years teaching her school how to treat a blind person, and you better believe that even if she isn't besties with everyone (she totally isn't), they all still treat her with respect. The ONLY bullying she has to deal with in the entire book comes from the outsiders, and geez louise it's so refreshing not to have to be subjected to the standard high school cliques in this book.
-The romance. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH I CAN'T. It's too wonderful for words. All the romances/romantic relationships. What happens between Sarah and Rick and how they talk about it? Gold. Parker and Jason? Too realistic for my heart, yo. Parker and Scott? *explodes in a shower of glitter* Do you want to know how much I love Scott? How great I think this guy is? How good his heart is? Scott is like the contemporary Hector. There. I said it. I love this kid. And he totally makes mistakes, because dude is still a high school kid, but the road these two take and the mistakes they make and the conversations they have are positively life-giving.
-The issues and the talks. This book covers so many things. I mean, there's divorce and death and abandonment and suicide and insecurity and trust issues and being blind (both physically and figuratively) and superficiality and how to be a good friend and how to MAKE friends and so many other things that are all twisted around each other like spaghetti noodles and it's all handled so WELL. Even the minutiae about life as a blind person felt really real and perfect. (Standard disclaimer: I am not blind, nor am I emotionally close to anyone who is, so please take all praise and damnation on these issues with a grain of salt and defer to an actual blind person should they weigh in.)
I read this book in one round-trip train ride within Brooklyn and one laundromat visit. I DEVOURED this book, and I'm still riding on its high. Please, remember this is the girl who is so rarely sold on contemporaries and heed my words. Read this book.
LITTLE, BROWN! MY PEOPLE! YOU DONE GOOD, Y'ALL!
Notes for parents: (as best I can remember) Language, making out, trigger warnings for suicide, bullying, and car accidents.
May 13, 2016
I really couldn't connect to Parker, who was prickly and rude. Fair enough she had a reason to be, but when people are trying to be considerate to you and you never really give them a chance, that just means you're mean. The high school drama in this book was also a bit much.
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This review appears on Check it out for more reviews.
Not If I See You First was an eye-opener when it came to blind characters. Although she can’t see, Parker doesn’t need anyone’s help or pity, and she has her guard up when it comes to letting others in.
After being in a car accident that resulted in losing her sight and mother, and then her father to a suspected suicide, Parker has a reason to be angry. She’s lost everything she’s ever cared about, including her best friend who she fell in love with when she was young. He hurt her as well, and she’s never given him the light of the day after that. She was really prickly and unpleasant throughout the whole book, and I just couldn’t understand why she was so nasty and unpleasant.
Her rude and abrasive behaviour had me scratching my head a few times during the novel. Yes you’re blind, but if people are trying to be conscious about that and making an effort to be nice to you, you’re not a nice person if you just snap at them or give them the cold shoulder. She has a massive list of rules for strangers to adhere to, some which made sense, like not sneaking up on her or touching her without her permission, but others that were a bit of a stretch, like not offering to help her. I understood that just because she’s disabled she’s not helpless, but the way she acted went that extra mile into mean territory.
Obviously this is a coming of age novel, where Parker learns how unnecessary she’s being especially towards people who love you, and she gets slightly better later on as she learns some crucial life lessons. But in order to reach this process, she has a massive breakdown and lashes out at her cousin, pushes away someone who really cares about her and pretty much plays with the feelings of a really nice guy that she dated. You’d have to be patient to emphasise with Parker’s behaviour and the high school drama here became unbearable at certain points.
It’s kind of refreshing to read about a different character that doesn’t have it together, that does have her flaws that reach beyond her disability. But Parker was someone who was really frustrating at the best of times. The book addresses the disability in a straightforward way, where I realised what was and wasn’t okay when it comes to dealing with blind people, and is empowering for those with the disability. However, because I couldn’t emphasise with Parker’s character, I wasn’t really invested in her story.
I received a review copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
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This review appears on Check it out for more reviews.
Not If I See You First was an eye-opener when it came to blind characters. Although she can’t see, Parker doesn’t need anyone’s help or pity, and she has her guard up when it comes to letting others in.
After being in a car accident that resulted in losing her sight and mother, and then her father to a suspected suicide, Parker has a reason to be angry. She’s lost everything she’s ever cared about, including her best friend who she fell in love with when she was young. He hurt her as well, and she’s never given him the light of the day after that. She was really prickly and unpleasant throughout the whole book, and I just couldn’t understand why she was so nasty and unpleasant.
Her rude and abrasive behaviour had me scratching my head a few times during the novel. Yes you’re blind, but if people are trying to be conscious about that and making an effort to be nice to you, you’re not a nice person if you just snap at them or give them the cold shoulder. She has a massive list of rules for strangers to adhere to, some which made sense, like not sneaking up on her or touching her without her permission, but others that were a bit of a stretch, like not offering to help her. I understood that just because she’s disabled she’s not helpless, but the way she acted went that extra mile into mean territory.
Obviously this is a coming of age novel, where Parker learns how unnecessary she’s being especially towards people who love you, and she gets slightly better later on as she learns some crucial life lessons. But in order to reach this process, she has a massive breakdown and lashes out at her cousin, pushes away someone who really cares about her and pretty much plays with the feelings of a really nice guy that she dated. You’d have to be patient to emphasise with Parker’s behaviour and the high school drama here became unbearable at certain points.
It’s kind of refreshing to read about a different character that doesn’t have it together, that does have her flaws that reach beyond her disability. But Parker was someone who was really frustrating at the best of times. The book addresses the disability in a straightforward way, where I realised what was and wasn’t okay when it comes to dealing with blind people, and is empowering for those with the disability. However, because I couldn’t emphasise with Parker’s character, I wasn’t really invested in her story.
I received a review copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
January 21, 2018
I FREAKING LOVE PARKER SO FREAKING MUCH!
Her character was everything plus having a blind MC was refreshing! I totally want to be her best friend after reading this book - well actually, while reading this book. Either way I want her for a best friend because I loved everything about her character.
Then there's Hazel, who I loved but I felt so bad because her parents were embarrassed when people asked what her oxygen mask was for. Like why the hell are acting embarrassed?!? They don't have to wear it! LE SIGH
But back to Parker and how much I lover her. She's such a strong and independent character and I just loved her. Plus, when she did eventually break down and cry like any normal person would - she had such great support. I loved all of it.
I want more from this book. I need to fine more books by Eric Lindstrom now.
Her character was everything plus having a blind MC was refreshing! I totally want to be her best friend after reading this book - well actually, while reading this book. Either way I want her for a best friend because I loved everything about her character.
Then there's Hazel, who I loved but I felt so bad because her parents were embarrassed when people asked what her oxygen mask was for. Like why the hell are acting embarrassed?!? They don't have to wear it! LE SIGH
But back to Parker and how much I lover her. She's such a strong and independent character and I just loved her. Plus, when she did eventually break down and cry like any normal person would - she had such great support. I loved all of it.
I want more from this book. I need to fine more books by Eric Lindstrom now.
November 16, 2018
3/5 stars
I really had no idea what to expect from this book, but I’ve come out really pleasantly surprised. There were really some things that I absolutely loved and some things that weren’t my favourite. I really enjoyed the exploring Parker’s relationships with her friends, and to be honest, that was probably my favourite aspect of the book altogether. This is also the first book that I’ve read from the perspective of someone that’s blind. I found it both interesting and eye-opening to read from such a different perspective than I’m used to and realising all the false stereotypes that I held about blind people before reading this book. It was just a really fast, enjoyable read that also had some meaningful moments in the mix. Equally, i found myself smiling at Parker’s antics but also sometimes being unbelievably frustrated at her. In the end though, I did find myself rooting for her more and more.
Parker Grant is really sick of people’s bullshit. She may be blind, but she isn’t dumb and she will but tolerate when people treat her as if she is. In order to ensure she is treated how she wants to be, she created a set of rules for people to follow. Breaking these rules are unforgivable, there are no second chances. Scott Kilpatrick, Parker’s boyfriend from middle school, learnt this the hard way, as Parker still hasn’t forgiven him for events years past and never plans to. When Scott suddenly re-enters Parker’s life, Parker starts to question the rules she’s crafted regarding those around her. Are all people that break the rules stupid or unforgivable? Perhaps overcoming the past is more important than following the rules, especially regarding people Patrick loves.
This is the first book that I’ve read from a blind person, especially a blind teenager. I found this to be a really interesting and unique perspective to read from, especially since I haven’t read anything like this before. Of course, I really don’t have the place to say whether this is an accurate portrayal or not, but I did really enjoy the discussion of the inherent ignorance and ableist ideology that people hold. It also made me question my perceptions regarding blind people and how I could treat people that are blind better. This is one thing I really love about books like this because they really open my eyes about experiences that I would never know by myself. I especially enjoyed how Parker had so many other personality traits and problems that are independent to her blindness. Just because she is blind, that doesn’t define her personality, which I think is really important to note.
There were also a couple of things that I didn’t so much like about this book. For one, there were times that I really didn’t like Parker. She was extremely selfish and unforgiving, which are both traits that I really don’t like. She was hard to empathise with because of my dislike for her, so large proportions of the book I didn’t like the perspective. I do admit, she gets so much better as the book progressed, which I think is a major driving theme behind the novel. I don’t know this for sure, but I think we might not be meant to really like Parker at the beginning of the novel, or at the very least were meant to notice her flaws. Even so, the development of her character was very predictable and the themes of the book were really not groundbreaking at all. I expected what was going to happen, which isn’t so bad but it just didn’t take me by surprise.
I also didn’t like the romance, which is a shocker for sure. I normally completely love the romance more than anything, but that was certainly not the case for this book. I thought it was irrelevant to the story and the motivations behind the romance didn’t make sense to me. The whole plot was driven by a relationship that occurred in middle school, which I didn’t really get. I’m sorry if I’m a cynic, but I find it hard to believe that a middle school romance has such a lasting impact on people’s lives. This meant I really didn’t believe in the romance and couldn’t feel much of a connection between the characters. I do admit, there were certainly some cute scenes that I thought were undeniably sweet. I guess that’s just the hopeless romantic in me.
I did overall enjoy the story, especially with Parker’s relationship with her friends. I’d definitely say that the friendship elements are my favourite aspect of the story. I thought they had such a fun relationship, full of inside jokes and easy banter. I found myself smiling at a lot of the scenes with Parker just being uniquely herself and her friends following suit. There was drama, sad moments and downright heartwarming scenes, and I found it all to be very entertaining and fulfilling.
I really had no idea what to expect from this book, but I’ve come out really pleasantly surprised. There were really some things that I absolutely loved and some things that weren’t my favourite. I really enjoyed the exploring Parker’s relationships with her friends, and to be honest, that was probably my favourite aspect of the book altogether. This is also the first book that I’ve read from the perspective of someone that’s blind. I found it both interesting and eye-opening to read from such a different perspective than I’m used to and realising all the false stereotypes that I held about blind people before reading this book. It was just a really fast, enjoyable read that also had some meaningful moments in the mix. Equally, i found myself smiling at Parker’s antics but also sometimes being unbelievably frustrated at her. In the end though, I did find myself rooting for her more and more.
Parker Grant is really sick of people’s bullshit. She may be blind, but she isn’t dumb and she will but tolerate when people treat her as if she is. In order to ensure she is treated how she wants to be, she created a set of rules for people to follow. Breaking these rules are unforgivable, there are no second chances. Scott Kilpatrick, Parker’s boyfriend from middle school, learnt this the hard way, as Parker still hasn’t forgiven him for events years past and never plans to. When Scott suddenly re-enters Parker’s life, Parker starts to question the rules she’s crafted regarding those around her. Are all people that break the rules stupid or unforgivable? Perhaps overcoming the past is more important than following the rules, especially regarding people Patrick loves.
This is the first book that I’ve read from a blind person, especially a blind teenager. I found this to be a really interesting and unique perspective to read from, especially since I haven’t read anything like this before. Of course, I really don’t have the place to say whether this is an accurate portrayal or not, but I did really enjoy the discussion of the inherent ignorance and ableist ideology that people hold. It also made me question my perceptions regarding blind people and how I could treat people that are blind better. This is one thing I really love about books like this because they really open my eyes about experiences that I would never know by myself. I especially enjoyed how Parker had so many other personality traits and problems that are independent to her blindness. Just because she is blind, that doesn’t define her personality, which I think is really important to note.
There were also a couple of things that I didn’t so much like about this book. For one, there were times that I really didn’t like Parker. She was extremely selfish and unforgiving, which are both traits that I really don’t like. She was hard to empathise with because of my dislike for her, so large proportions of the book I didn’t like the perspective. I do admit, she gets so much better as the book progressed, which I think is a major driving theme behind the novel. I don’t know this for sure, but I think we might not be meant to really like Parker at the beginning of the novel, or at the very least were meant to notice her flaws. Even so, the development of her character was very predictable and the themes of the book were really not groundbreaking at all. I expected what was going to happen, which isn’t so bad but it just didn’t take me by surprise.
I also didn’t like the romance, which is a shocker for sure. I normally completely love the romance more than anything, but that was certainly not the case for this book. I thought it was irrelevant to the story and the motivations behind the romance didn’t make sense to me. The whole plot was driven by a relationship that occurred in middle school, which I didn’t really get. I’m sorry if I’m a cynic, but I find it hard to believe that a middle school romance has such a lasting impact on people’s lives. This meant I really didn’t believe in the romance and couldn’t feel much of a connection between the characters. I do admit, there were certainly some cute scenes that I thought were undeniably sweet. I guess that’s just the hopeless romantic in me.
I did overall enjoy the story, especially with Parker’s relationship with her friends. I’d definitely say that the friendship elements are my favourite aspect of the story. I thought they had such a fun relationship, full of inside jokes and easy banter. I found myself smiling at a lot of the scenes with Parker just being uniquely herself and her friends following suit. There was drama, sad moments and downright heartwarming scenes, and I found it all to be very entertaining and fulfilling.
March 13, 2016
“He still looks at you like he used to, even before you got together, like you’re the most important thing in the world.�
This book took some warming up to.
In the beginning the main character, Parker, was a real jerk and her attitude put me off. But when I finally pushed past the first few chapters I realized that's the way she was supposed to act. She was a naturally blunt, honest, and rude person. A big part of the book was dedicated to Parker figuring out that she was mean and self-centered and trying to improve herself.
I learned so much about what it's like to be blind through Parker's attentive narrative. As a blind person, she became frustrated with the simple fact of not being able to see people's face expressions - as she had a right to be - and viewed the world primarily through her hearing and close observations.
I was surprised by how caught up I became in the love story. At first the only thing I knew about Parker and Scott was that they used to date when they were thirteen, but then Scott did something so awful Parker has never forgiven him for it.
Now, three years later, Scott shows up at Parker's school and suddenly she can't get him off her mind. Could she have been wrong about what he did? Should she give him a second chance? Amidst the drama of Parker dating another guy and Scott showing up to save Parker every time someone attacks her or she's about to crash into the bleachers, Parker finds her attraction toward Scott quickly returning.
From beginning to end, Parker grew from a don't-screw-with-me blind girl into someone genuinely trying to be a better person. When she took on the challenge of running track in her school, something she had never thought she could do before, and conquered this milestone, I was cheering so hard for her.
She didn't change into a sweet little princess by the end, but she came to realize that giving people second chances could be a good thing and not everyone was out to make evil plans behind her back. I found myself growing to love Parker, snarky voice and all.
May 31, 2017
I turned the last page expecting there to be mord but nope 🙃 I WANT MORE. I mean, objectively, that was a nice ending, an amazing one even, but I'm greedy.
The story took me a little while to get into but the weird thing is I didn't realize I was loving it until I was and I just kept flipping the pages. Parker's character development is so raw and real and just plain great. I loved how messy everything was and how it was still messy at the end but *she* changed the way she delt with the mess.
Her group of friends is awesome, the relationships are genuine and their banter is in turn deep and hilarious. I just loved how authentic they felt.
RTC !!
The story took me a little while to get into but the weird thing is I didn't realize I was loving it until I was and I just kept flipping the pages. Parker's character development is so raw and real and just plain great. I loved how messy everything was and how it was still messy at the end but *she* changed the way she delt with the mess.
Her group of friends is awesome, the relationships are genuine and their banter is in turn deep and hilarious. I just loved how authentic they felt.
RTC !!
March 30, 2016
That was kinda cute. I'm not overwhelmed, but it was better than I expected it to be.
Update: Changed the rating to 3/5 stars. My opinion remains the same, it just wasn't fair to my other 3-star books ( like they would mind it)
- Review : -
Update: Changed the rating to 3/5 stars. My opinion remains the same, it just wasn't fair to my other 3-star books ( like they would mind it)
- Review : -
October 6, 2017
I loved the main character, but there were quite a few comments that made me feel very uncomfortable (like "she'd be very pretty if she lost some weight").
February 6, 2017
Not If I See You First was both delightful and sad. Very real, and with a dash of drama thanks to Parker and the way she thought about herself first - like many other teenagers tend to do.
I'm not sure why I kept Not If I See You First for so long on my kindle without reading it - it was as if it was hiding in plain sight! Parker was a very prickly heroine, and some might not enjoy her at all. I found her to be refreshing in some ways, though, because not only was she brutally honest, she was able to deal with the aftermath of her honesty as well. Her life was not an easy one, and I guess that is partly why I was indulgent with her. Also, I think a lot of teens are quite self absorbed and somewhat unable to put themselves in someone else's situation. This is especially true for Parker, as her own situation was so complex it was impossible for her to imagine that other people had their own pains and their own drama.
It's not the first time I read a young adult story with a blind heroine, but I think Not If I See You First made a greater impression on me for several reasons. Parker did her very best to be independent and follow her own dreams. From running in the morning to navigating school mostly on her own. And I found the fact that she was able to ask for help when she really needed it good, too - even if she could be abrupt to the point of impolite when shutting people down when she didn't need their help.
Not If I See You First is a multilayered story, it deals with Parker's disability. And it also deals with grief. And it definitely deals with trust and forgiveness, too. Parker's prickliness could even be a good thing, because her abrasive personality shows that not everybody has to be people pleasers, as she still had friends who stood by her. And those friends were more numerous than she had anticipated when she really needed them. Thus dealing with several important moments in Parker's life, and seeing her coming to the realisation that her friends and acquaintances have feelings too was something I really enjoyed!
Written in first person point of view, from Parker's perspective, and in present tense, I really discovered things alongside Parker. This made me sometimes come to the same conclusions as her, even if I have more experience and should have been able to see things from a different angle. I guess I got so immersed in her I wasn't able to take that step back and be more analytical, and that's a good point in Not If I See You First's favor.
It's a common belief that losing your sight heightens your other senses, and it's true, but not by magnifying them. It just gets rid of the overwhelming distraction of seeing everything all the time. On the other hand, my experience of sitting with Marissa consisted almost entirely of hearing everything her mouth and nose were capable of in sticky detail. That's what unrequited love sounds like to me. Disgusting.
"I only want to help," she says. She sounds like she means it. Like I'm hurting her feelings. But if someone's feelings get hurt when they insist on giving me something I don't want, I don't see how that's my fault. It doesn't get us anywhere, though.
Faith and I don't hang out, mainly because we have almost nothing in common anymore. We cat like we don't get along but we're the opposite of frenemies; we're friends who pretend to be enemies. I guess that makes us enemends.
August 19, 2021
"Wie ich dich sehe" von Eric Lindstrom befand sich fast fünf Jahre lang ungelesen in meinem Regal, weil ich einige Bedenken hatte, ob mir die Geschichte tatsächlich gefallen könnte. Die Kurzbeschreibung klang zwar ganz nett, allerdings blieb immer ein Restzweifel, sodass ich skeptisch war. Nun habe ich mir endlich einen Ruck gegeben und ich muss sagen, dass ich zwar nicht enttäuscht, aber auch nicht restlos begeistert bin.
Die Geschichte ist an sich ganz süß und vom Autor toll und flüssig geschrieben, sodass man nur so durch die Seiten fliegt und die Figuren und deren Gefühle und Gedanken gut kennen lernt. Leider sind es doch auch genau die Figuren, die dafür gesorgt haben, dass ich von der Geschichte nicht gänzlich überzeugt bin und das Buch deswegen letztendlich nur ganz in Ordnung fand.
Parker hat es nicht leicht: Seit einem Unfall ist sie blind, ihre Eltern sind in Abständen zueinander gestorben. Um sie nicht aus ihrer gewohnten Umgebung zu reißen, zieht ihre Tante mit ihrer Familie zu Parker, um sich um sie zu kümmern. Was hier eine nette Geste ist, wird von Parker allerdings als vollkommen selbstverständlich angesehen. Sie weicht ihrer Familie aus und lässt auch in der Schule nur wenige Freundschaften zu, was vor allem an ihren strengen Regeln liegt, denn wer sich an diese nicht hält, hat keinen Platz in ihrem Leben. Parker empfand ich leider sehr oft als unsympathisch und egoistisch. Ihre Freunde sind nur ein nettes Beiwerk, die sich ihre Probleme anhören, aber sobald es anderen schlecht geht, wird es von Parker häufig verdrängt oder sie zieht sich von den Menschen zurück, sodass sie sehr häufig dabei ihre eigenen Regeln bricht, ohne es selbst zu merken.
Dazu ist sie, obwohl sie blind ist, sehr oberflächlich. Sie datet kurzzeitig einen Jungen und fragt ihre Freunde dabei ständig, ob er gut aussehen und welche Schuhe er sogar tragen würde. Gleichzeitig lacht sie ihre beste Freundin öffentlich aus, weil diese gerne Jogginghosen trägt. Über ihre neue Mitschülerin, die sich aufopfernd um sie kümmert, zeigt sie sich verwundert, als sie erfährt, dass sie ein wenig mehr auf die Waage bringt. Für jemanden, der darauf besteht, so akzeptiert zu werden, wie man ist, ist dies meiner Meinung nach harter Tobak und alles andere als sympathisch.
Trotz dieser Kritik ist die Geschichte aber dennoch nicht gänzlich schlecht, denn es ist eigentlich eine ganz süße High School Geschichte, bei der die Themen Liebe, Freundschaft, Ausgrenzung und die Suche nach sich selbst im Vordergrund stehen. Wären die Figuren sympathischer und weniger oberflächlich gewesen, hätte ich sicherlich mehr Spaß an der Geschichte gehabt.
Die Geschichte ist an sich ganz süß und vom Autor toll und flüssig geschrieben, sodass man nur so durch die Seiten fliegt und die Figuren und deren Gefühle und Gedanken gut kennen lernt. Leider sind es doch auch genau die Figuren, die dafür gesorgt haben, dass ich von der Geschichte nicht gänzlich überzeugt bin und das Buch deswegen letztendlich nur ganz in Ordnung fand.
Parker hat es nicht leicht: Seit einem Unfall ist sie blind, ihre Eltern sind in Abständen zueinander gestorben. Um sie nicht aus ihrer gewohnten Umgebung zu reißen, zieht ihre Tante mit ihrer Familie zu Parker, um sich um sie zu kümmern. Was hier eine nette Geste ist, wird von Parker allerdings als vollkommen selbstverständlich angesehen. Sie weicht ihrer Familie aus und lässt auch in der Schule nur wenige Freundschaften zu, was vor allem an ihren strengen Regeln liegt, denn wer sich an diese nicht hält, hat keinen Platz in ihrem Leben. Parker empfand ich leider sehr oft als unsympathisch und egoistisch. Ihre Freunde sind nur ein nettes Beiwerk, die sich ihre Probleme anhören, aber sobald es anderen schlecht geht, wird es von Parker häufig verdrängt oder sie zieht sich von den Menschen zurück, sodass sie sehr häufig dabei ihre eigenen Regeln bricht, ohne es selbst zu merken.
Dazu ist sie, obwohl sie blind ist, sehr oberflächlich. Sie datet kurzzeitig einen Jungen und fragt ihre Freunde dabei ständig, ob er gut aussehen und welche Schuhe er sogar tragen würde. Gleichzeitig lacht sie ihre beste Freundin öffentlich aus, weil diese gerne Jogginghosen trägt. Über ihre neue Mitschülerin, die sich aufopfernd um sie kümmert, zeigt sie sich verwundert, als sie erfährt, dass sie ein wenig mehr auf die Waage bringt. Für jemanden, der darauf besteht, so akzeptiert zu werden, wie man ist, ist dies meiner Meinung nach harter Tobak und alles andere als sympathisch.
Trotz dieser Kritik ist die Geschichte aber dennoch nicht gänzlich schlecht, denn es ist eigentlich eine ganz süße High School Geschichte, bei der die Themen Liebe, Freundschaft, Ausgrenzung und die Suche nach sich selbst im Vordergrund stehen. Wären die Figuren sympathischer und weniger oberflächlich gewesen, hätte ich sicherlich mehr Spaß an der Geschichte gehabt.
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