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Barbara the Slut and Other People
A fresh, honest, and darkly funny debut collection about family, friends, and lovers, and the flaws that make us most human.
Fearless, candid, and incredibly funny, Lauren Holmes is a newcomer who writes like a master. She tackles eros and intimacy with a deceptively light touch, a keen awareness of how their nervous systems tangle and sometimes short-circuit, and a genius for revealing our most vulnerable, spirited selves.
In “Desert Hearts,� a woman takes a job selling sex toys in San Francisco rather than embark on the law career she pursued only for the sake of her father. In “Pearl and the Swiss Guy Fall in Love,� a woman realizes she much prefers the company of her pit bull—and herself—to the neurotic foreign fling who won’t decamp from her apartment. In “How Am I Supposed to Talk to You?� a daughter hauls a suitcase of lingerie to Mexico for her flighty, estranged mother to resell there, wondering whether her personal mission—to come out—is worth the same effort. And in “Barbara the Slut,� a young woman with an autistic brother, a Princeton acceptance letter, and a love of sex navigates her high school’s toxic, slut-shaming culture with open eyes.
With heart, sass, and pitch-perfect characters, Barbara the Slut is a head-turning debut from a writer with a limitless career before her.
Fearless, candid, and incredibly funny, Lauren Holmes is a newcomer who writes like a master. She tackles eros and intimacy with a deceptively light touch, a keen awareness of how their nervous systems tangle and sometimes short-circuit, and a genius for revealing our most vulnerable, spirited selves.
In “Desert Hearts,� a woman takes a job selling sex toys in San Francisco rather than embark on the law career she pursued only for the sake of her father. In “Pearl and the Swiss Guy Fall in Love,� a woman realizes she much prefers the company of her pit bull—and herself—to the neurotic foreign fling who won’t decamp from her apartment. In “How Am I Supposed to Talk to You?� a daughter hauls a suitcase of lingerie to Mexico for her flighty, estranged mother to resell there, wondering whether her personal mission—to come out—is worth the same effort. And in “Barbara the Slut,� a young woman with an autistic brother, a Princeton acceptance letter, and a love of sex navigates her high school’s toxic, slut-shaming culture with open eyes.
With heart, sass, and pitch-perfect characters, Barbara the Slut is a head-turning debut from a writer with a limitless career before her.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published August 31, 2014
128 people are currently reading
9584 people want to read
About the author
Lauren Holmes
1book97followersLauren Holmes grew up in upstate New York. She received a BA from Wellesley College and an MFA from Hunter College, where she was a Hertog Fellow and a teaching fellow. Her work has appeared in Granta, where she was a 2014 New Voice, and in Guernica. Holmes lives in New York’s Hudson Valley.
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August 2, 2018
Barbara the Slut and Other People is a collection of eight short stories that tackle everything about family, friends, and lovers, and the flaws that make us most human.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK TO YOU?: 4/5 stars
In Mexico City customs, twenty-year-old Lala has fifty pairs of Victoria’s Secret underwear with tags on them in her suitcase. They were for her mom to sell to the teenagers in her town for a markup of three hundred percent.
Lala said she would do it because she hadn’t visited her mom in three years. And also, she was supposed to use this trip to tell her she was gay.
“So, are there any boys I should know about?� said my mom. Always her first question.
“Nope,� I said. “Still no boys.� That was always my answer, and she never seemed to think it was weird or some kind of clue, which she shouldn’t have needed anyway. Shouldn’t she have noticed when I was born? Wasn’t there something about me that told her I was going to grow up to cut my hair and wear sturdy underwear and date a girl who brought her leather biker boots to textile recycling and then bought vegan ones? And if not when I was born, she should have noticed in elementary school when I was obsessed with amphibians and reptiles and with my friend Emily. And if still not then, she definitely would have noticed in middle school, when I hit puberty and was really confused and, according to my dad, really weird. But she was already gone.�
I loved the writing and the setting of this story. The beach is my favorite place, so visiting it in writing was just as magical.
“At the end of the day we went back to the beach to watch the sunset. My mom said that when the sun set in Pie de la Cuesta, it lit up the backs of the waves, and you could see the silhouettes of kids swimming. Tonight the waves were too small, although they didn’t look small to me. If I were braver I would have gone in and felt the water rush over my body and my head, and I probably would have been fine. But I was scared. My mom wasn’t one to tell me something was dangerous if it wasn’t. And she was sometimes one to tell me something was safe when it wasn’t.�
The imagery in the caption above was stunning.
And after talking to her girlfriend, Dana, Lala eventually opens up and tells her mother that she's into girls.
“Are you going to tell her when she gets back?�
“Yes,� I said. “Of course, I’ll tell her right away.�
“Are you being sarcastic?�
“Not at all,� I said. “Maybe I’ll hide in the kitchen and when she comes in I’ll jump out and shout, ‘I’m gay!’�
“You’re being sarcastic.�
It was a good opening to this collection of stories and an interesting exploration of their relationship as mother-daughter, but I still would’ve loved to uncover more.
WEEKEND WITH BETH, KELLY, MUSCLE, AND PAMMY: 3/5 stars
Told from the point of view of Jason, who's not quite sure how he should feel towards his volatile friend, Beth.
It was a pretty timid and average read. The writing wasn't as compelling in this story as it was in the last one. But I really appreciated the quiet humor thrown into the dialogue.
“My friends might have called her a slut, but I didn’t have any friends. And when I was in high school my mom sat me down to talk about the word “slut� and to give me a general lecture about how to make her proud despite my being a man.�
I’m the mom.
And what I slowly started to notice throughout this collection was that the endings weren't really endings. They just felt like endings of chapters in books.
MIKE ANONYMOUS: 2.5/5 stars
Mike Anonymous calls the clinic and Vivian, our narrator, who’s a quarter Japanese, was made to pick up the phone because Mike has an Asian accent, so naturally that makes sense for people�
“They always made me pick up when someone with an Asian accent called, like I could speak a word of any Asian language, which I couldn’t.�
The overall storyline was a bit confusing because half of the time we were trying to figure out what Mike Anonymous was trying to convey, and in the other half Vivian was performing STD testings. I'm still a bit confused and underwhelmed.
I WILL CRAWL TO RALEIGH IF I HAVE TO: 2/5 stars
Natalie and her mom were on their way to Emerald Isle and Natalie's plan to break up with her boyfriend goes awry when the muffler fell off of the car right before the exit they needed to take to Raleigh, and her mom said they couldn’t stop anymore.
They eventually arrive at Emerald Isle, where we get to see just how selfish and mundane our main character is. Her problems felt like such #whitepeopleproblems that bringing myself to care for them felt extremely unlikely.
But I did like that this story was also set at the beach:
“I waded into the cold water and then dove. I swam along the sand for a few minutes and then floated on my back. The water felt good and I felt completely empty, my stomach and my brain, like I didn’t have any thoughts at all.�
She perfectly described how peacefully it feels to float on your back in the ocean.
And her brother waking her up to watch the sunrise was described beautifully:
“I’m going to go watch the sunrise,� he said.
“What?� I said.
“You should watch it with me,� he said. “It will make you feel better.�
I made myself wake up and we took our blankets and pillows off our beds and walked to the beach. We lay down on one blanket and put the other one over us. Petey lay down on top, with his butt on me and his head on Noah.
Soon there was the faintest glow at the end of the water. I propped myself up on my elbows. The sun came up slowly and then quickly. And Noah was right, it did make me feel a little bit better.
We watched until the sun took its place in the sky.�
I felt like I was right there looking at the sunrise.
DESERT HEARTS: 1/5 stars
Speaking of #whitepeopleproblems, this story was everything I despise in a character blended into one:
� ignorant
� whiny
� mundane as hell
� blank characteristics
This is the infamous story of Brenda, who takes a job selling sex toys in San Francisco rather than embark on the law career she pursued only for the sake of her father.
“Marc told me that poppers were muscle relaxants and he also told me that Pam didn’t want me to work at Desert Hearts because I didn’t look gay.
“That’s discrimination,� I said.
“What are you going to do, call a lawyer?� said Marc.�
ughhhh... discrimination??
Also, she then goes to cut her hair to look “gayer”�.
“My hair was longer than I had wanted—to the bottom of my ears with sort of side-swept bangs. But I looked like a new woman, and that was exactly what I had wanted.
“Do I look gay?� I said.
“You look gayer,� she said.�
Her ignorance is vast.
I'm not even going to try to analyse any of her other actions because I don't hate myself that much.
PEARL AND THE SWISS GUY FALL IN LOVE: 2.5/5 stars
When our narrator meets the Swiss guy, she's instantly enamored, partly because she hadn’t had sex in over a year and partly because he's the only semi-decent guy she's met this far.
“I hadn’t had sex in over a year, partly because I didn’t like anyone I met on the internet and partly because I adopted a pit bull who wouldn’t let men into my apartment�
Her pit bull, Pearl, freaks the Swiss guy out quite a bit. But they still end up at her apartment... and this is where he really starts to show his true colors. I mean, every time the Swiss guy opened up his mouth, I cringed.
“He kissed me. I put my hand on his arm, but he pulled his arm away.
“What’s wrong?�
“You touched Pearl and then you touched me.�
“Uh,� I said. “She’s not really that dirty.�
“I don’t know,� he said.
I washed my hands and he kissed me again.
“Okay,� he said. “Good-bye. Good-bye, Pearl.� He waved at her. She wagged her tail.�
If you don't like dogs, then why the hell are you seeing someone who loves her dog more than life itself???? These two were so not compatible.
They made me feel so uncomfortable when they were together, especially towards the end. I somehow even ended up feeling sorry for the main character for having to put up with someone this... this creepy.
But it also taught me a lesson: never let your hormones take over and let some random guy stay at your place for more than a day just for the sex.
NEW GIRLS: 4.5/5 stars
This was my favorite story from this collection, which I greatly appreciated because I was starting to lose hope.
We follow Steph, a sixth grader who just moved to Germany for two years with her parents and brother. We get to see her be an outsider, insider and everything in-between. It really captured the process of growing up and trying to adjust to a new country.
“On the first day of school I went in with Brigitta, and everyone crowded around us and asked me questions in English. They wanted to know where I was from and why I moved to Germany, and they wanted to know which language I was going to take and which religion class I was going to be in. For religion there were only two choices, katholisch and evangelisch. I wondered why there were no other choices. Almost all the kids in my old school were Jewish, except for one kid who was Zoroastrian. I didn’t know what that meant and we didn’t study either of those things. I tried to tell the kids I wasn’t religious at all but they said I had to pick one. I picked evangelisch because I was sure I wasn’t katholisch. Half of the class cheered, and I didn’t know whether it was the katholisch half or the evangelisch half.�
The accuracy and humor in this was on point.
Also, the ending of this story kind of shattered my heart.
MY HUMANS: 2.5/5 stars
Told from the point of view of Princess, the dog that Jenna and Mike adopt. We get to see the rise and fall of their relationship from the dog's eyes, which was a really fascinating thing to explore.
But it lost its spark when the entire focus on their relationship was mainly whether Jenna was cheating on Mike with Nick... which she was. Kind of disappointing. But on the other hand, I wasn't entirely invested in their lives from the get-go, so I was left feeling quite numb towards the end.
JERKS: 3/5 stars
Jane runs into the boy she loved in high school, Silas, while shopping for art supplies.
“Deaf Girl!� and then, “Oh shit, I’m sorry.�
“It’s fine,� I said. “It’s Jane.� Deaf Girl was my behind-the-back nickname in high school, even though I could hear fine with my hearing aids.�
But the main focus isn't on their relationship rather on Jane babysitting when her dad’s girlfriend asks her to care for Timmy, a hearing impaired kid. Since she was borrowing money and living at her dad’s, it was hard to turn down the job.
“Timmy was much deafer than I was, he was doing much better than I had, and he was a little asshole.�
Reading about her watching over him that very first day was distressing, to say the least. Kids can be cruel. It made me rethink a lot of my choices.
BARBARA THE SLUT: 4/5 stars
I was really looking forward to this story. I mean, if it’s in the title of the collection, it had to be good on some level, right?
Barbara, a young woman with an autistic brother, a Princeton acceptance letter, and a love of sex navigates her high school’s toxic, slut-shaming culture with open eyes.
While the previous story reminded me of how cruel kids can be, Barbara the Slut reminded me of just how hateful the whole process of being in high school can be. It made me shake and shiver.
But I was beyond proud of Barbara when she took matters into her own hands and fucked over the people that thought they could shame her.
“Hello?� said Roger.
“It’s Barbara,� I said. “If you ever call me a slut again, I’ll tell everyone at school you couldn’t keep it up when we fucked. Okay?�
He didn’t say anything but I could hear him breathing.
“And I heard you need a baseball scholarship because you’re so dumb, and you probably wouldn’t want me to call your recruiters and tell them that you do steroids and you’re suffering from testicular atrophy.�
More breathing.
“I’m sure you don’t know what that means, but it’s when your balls deflate.�
I hung up because it didn’t seem like Roger had anything to add. I didn’t think threatening Roger was going to make things better with Lacey or Melissa or anyone else, but I did think he was going to make the right choice.�
I love her for being herself.
So while that ending was satisfying, I can't ignore that the majority of these stories fell flat for me, which is a damn shame. I was really looking forward to loving this collection, but I left with only two of the eight stories in my heart.
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK TO YOU?: 4/5 stars
In Mexico City customs, twenty-year-old Lala has fifty pairs of Victoria’s Secret underwear with tags on them in her suitcase. They were for her mom to sell to the teenagers in her town for a markup of three hundred percent.
Lala said she would do it because she hadn’t visited her mom in three years. And also, she was supposed to use this trip to tell her she was gay.
“So, are there any boys I should know about?� said my mom. Always her first question.
“Nope,� I said. “Still no boys.� That was always my answer, and she never seemed to think it was weird or some kind of clue, which she shouldn’t have needed anyway. Shouldn’t she have noticed when I was born? Wasn’t there something about me that told her I was going to grow up to cut my hair and wear sturdy underwear and date a girl who brought her leather biker boots to textile recycling and then bought vegan ones? And if not when I was born, she should have noticed in elementary school when I was obsessed with amphibians and reptiles and with my friend Emily. And if still not then, she definitely would have noticed in middle school, when I hit puberty and was really confused and, according to my dad, really weird. But she was already gone.�
I loved the writing and the setting of this story. The beach is my favorite place, so visiting it in writing was just as magical.
“At the end of the day we went back to the beach to watch the sunset. My mom said that when the sun set in Pie de la Cuesta, it lit up the backs of the waves, and you could see the silhouettes of kids swimming. Tonight the waves were too small, although they didn’t look small to me. If I were braver I would have gone in and felt the water rush over my body and my head, and I probably would have been fine. But I was scared. My mom wasn’t one to tell me something was dangerous if it wasn’t. And she was sometimes one to tell me something was safe when it wasn’t.�
The imagery in the caption above was stunning.
And after talking to her girlfriend, Dana, Lala eventually opens up and tells her mother that she's into girls.
“Are you going to tell her when she gets back?�
“Yes,� I said. “Of course, I’ll tell her right away.�
“Are you being sarcastic?�
“Not at all,� I said. “Maybe I’ll hide in the kitchen and when she comes in I’ll jump out and shout, ‘I’m gay!’�
“You’re being sarcastic.�
It was a good opening to this collection of stories and an interesting exploration of their relationship as mother-daughter, but I still would’ve loved to uncover more.
WEEKEND WITH BETH, KELLY, MUSCLE, AND PAMMY: 3/5 stars
Told from the point of view of Jason, who's not quite sure how he should feel towards his volatile friend, Beth.
It was a pretty timid and average read. The writing wasn't as compelling in this story as it was in the last one. But I really appreciated the quiet humor thrown into the dialogue.
“My friends might have called her a slut, but I didn’t have any friends. And when I was in high school my mom sat me down to talk about the word “slut� and to give me a general lecture about how to make her proud despite my being a man.�
I’m the mom.
And what I slowly started to notice throughout this collection was that the endings weren't really endings. They just felt like endings of chapters in books.
MIKE ANONYMOUS: 2.5/5 stars
Mike Anonymous calls the clinic and Vivian, our narrator, who’s a quarter Japanese, was made to pick up the phone because Mike has an Asian accent, so naturally that makes sense for people�
“They always made me pick up when someone with an Asian accent called, like I could speak a word of any Asian language, which I couldn’t.�
The overall storyline was a bit confusing because half of the time we were trying to figure out what Mike Anonymous was trying to convey, and in the other half Vivian was performing STD testings. I'm still a bit confused and underwhelmed.
I WILL CRAWL TO RALEIGH IF I HAVE TO: 2/5 stars
Natalie and her mom were on their way to Emerald Isle and Natalie's plan to break up with her boyfriend goes awry when the muffler fell off of the car right before the exit they needed to take to Raleigh, and her mom said they couldn’t stop anymore.
They eventually arrive at Emerald Isle, where we get to see just how selfish and mundane our main character is. Her problems felt like such #whitepeopleproblems that bringing myself to care for them felt extremely unlikely.
But I did like that this story was also set at the beach:
“I waded into the cold water and then dove. I swam along the sand for a few minutes and then floated on my back. The water felt good and I felt completely empty, my stomach and my brain, like I didn’t have any thoughts at all.�
She perfectly described how peacefully it feels to float on your back in the ocean.
And her brother waking her up to watch the sunrise was described beautifully:
“I’m going to go watch the sunrise,� he said.
“What?� I said.
“You should watch it with me,� he said. “It will make you feel better.�
I made myself wake up and we took our blankets and pillows off our beds and walked to the beach. We lay down on one blanket and put the other one over us. Petey lay down on top, with his butt on me and his head on Noah.
Soon there was the faintest glow at the end of the water. I propped myself up on my elbows. The sun came up slowly and then quickly. And Noah was right, it did make me feel a little bit better.
We watched until the sun took its place in the sky.�
I felt like I was right there looking at the sunrise.
DESERT HEARTS: 1/5 stars
Speaking of #whitepeopleproblems, this story was everything I despise in a character blended into one:
� ignorant
� whiny
� mundane as hell
� blank characteristics
This is the infamous story of Brenda, who takes a job selling sex toys in San Francisco rather than embark on the law career she pursued only for the sake of her father.
“Marc told me that poppers were muscle relaxants and he also told me that Pam didn’t want me to work at Desert Hearts because I didn’t look gay.
“That’s discrimination,� I said.
“What are you going to do, call a lawyer?� said Marc.�
ughhhh... discrimination??
Also, she then goes to cut her hair to look “gayer”�.
“My hair was longer than I had wanted—to the bottom of my ears with sort of side-swept bangs. But I looked like a new woman, and that was exactly what I had wanted.
“Do I look gay?� I said.
“You look gayer,� she said.�
Her ignorance is vast.
I'm not even going to try to analyse any of her other actions because I don't hate myself that much.
PEARL AND THE SWISS GUY FALL IN LOVE: 2.5/5 stars
When our narrator meets the Swiss guy, she's instantly enamored, partly because she hadn’t had sex in over a year and partly because he's the only semi-decent guy she's met this far.
“I hadn’t had sex in over a year, partly because I didn’t like anyone I met on the internet and partly because I adopted a pit bull who wouldn’t let men into my apartment�
Her pit bull, Pearl, freaks the Swiss guy out quite a bit. But they still end up at her apartment... and this is where he really starts to show his true colors. I mean, every time the Swiss guy opened up his mouth, I cringed.
“He kissed me. I put my hand on his arm, but he pulled his arm away.
“What’s wrong?�
“You touched Pearl and then you touched me.�
“Uh,� I said. “She’s not really that dirty.�
“I don’t know,� he said.
I washed my hands and he kissed me again.
“Okay,� he said. “Good-bye. Good-bye, Pearl.� He waved at her. She wagged her tail.�
If you don't like dogs, then why the hell are you seeing someone who loves her dog more than life itself???? These two were so not compatible.
They made me feel so uncomfortable when they were together, especially towards the end. I somehow even ended up feeling sorry for the main character for having to put up with someone this... this creepy.
But it also taught me a lesson: never let your hormones take over and let some random guy stay at your place for more than a day just for the sex.
NEW GIRLS: 4.5/5 stars
This was my favorite story from this collection, which I greatly appreciated because I was starting to lose hope.
We follow Steph, a sixth grader who just moved to Germany for two years with her parents and brother. We get to see her be an outsider, insider and everything in-between. It really captured the process of growing up and trying to adjust to a new country.
“On the first day of school I went in with Brigitta, and everyone crowded around us and asked me questions in English. They wanted to know where I was from and why I moved to Germany, and they wanted to know which language I was going to take and which religion class I was going to be in. For religion there were only two choices, katholisch and evangelisch. I wondered why there were no other choices. Almost all the kids in my old school were Jewish, except for one kid who was Zoroastrian. I didn’t know what that meant and we didn’t study either of those things. I tried to tell the kids I wasn’t religious at all but they said I had to pick one. I picked evangelisch because I was sure I wasn’t katholisch. Half of the class cheered, and I didn’t know whether it was the katholisch half or the evangelisch half.�
The accuracy and humor in this was on point.
Also, the ending of this story kind of shattered my heart.
MY HUMANS: 2.5/5 stars
Told from the point of view of Princess, the dog that Jenna and Mike adopt. We get to see the rise and fall of their relationship from the dog's eyes, which was a really fascinating thing to explore.
But it lost its spark when the entire focus on their relationship was mainly whether Jenna was cheating on Mike with Nick... which she was. Kind of disappointing. But on the other hand, I wasn't entirely invested in their lives from the get-go, so I was left feeling quite numb towards the end.
JERKS: 3/5 stars
Jane runs into the boy she loved in high school, Silas, while shopping for art supplies.
“Deaf Girl!� and then, “Oh shit, I’m sorry.�
“It’s fine,� I said. “It’s Jane.� Deaf Girl was my behind-the-back nickname in high school, even though I could hear fine with my hearing aids.�
But the main focus isn't on their relationship rather on Jane babysitting when her dad’s girlfriend asks her to care for Timmy, a hearing impaired kid. Since she was borrowing money and living at her dad’s, it was hard to turn down the job.
“Timmy was much deafer than I was, he was doing much better than I had, and he was a little asshole.�
Reading about her watching over him that very first day was distressing, to say the least. Kids can be cruel. It made me rethink a lot of my choices.
BARBARA THE SLUT: 4/5 stars
I was really looking forward to this story. I mean, if it’s in the title of the collection, it had to be good on some level, right?
Barbara, a young woman with an autistic brother, a Princeton acceptance letter, and a love of sex navigates her high school’s toxic, slut-shaming culture with open eyes.
While the previous story reminded me of how cruel kids can be, Barbara the Slut reminded me of just how hateful the whole process of being in high school can be. It made me shake and shiver.
But I was beyond proud of Barbara when she took matters into her own hands and fucked over the people that thought they could shame her.
“Hello?� said Roger.
“It’s Barbara,� I said. “If you ever call me a slut again, I’ll tell everyone at school you couldn’t keep it up when we fucked. Okay?�
He didn’t say anything but I could hear him breathing.
“And I heard you need a baseball scholarship because you’re so dumb, and you probably wouldn’t want me to call your recruiters and tell them that you do steroids and you’re suffering from testicular atrophy.�
More breathing.
“I’m sure you don’t know what that means, but it’s when your balls deflate.�
I hung up because it didn’t seem like Roger had anything to add. I didn’t think threatening Roger was going to make things better with Lacey or Melissa or anyone else, but I did think he was going to make the right choice.�
I love her for being herself.
So while that ending was satisfying, I can't ignore that the majority of these stories fell flat for me, which is a damn shame. I was really looking forward to loving this collection, but I left with only two of the eight stories in my heart.
*Note: I'm an Amazon Affiliate. If you're interested in buying Barbara the Slut and Other People, just click on the image below to go through my link. I'll make a small commission!*
Support creators you love. Buy a Coffee for nat (bookspoils) with
September 22, 2015
What I like best about these short stories is that the author, Lauren Holmes, gives us a
good personality profile of her characters, sets up the story situations, but never
gives us the root cause for any person, place, or circumstances. Instead of reading the stories 'unfold' as we often do... She leaves out the 'unfolding'.
The result is thought-provoking....leaving purposeful-reader-interpretation.
Starting with the title of the book...the word 'Slut'...opens up a door for conversation
The word itself comes with historical baggage. ( shame), yet in recent years there has been
a social shift in how the word might be talked about. (feminist issues, double standards)
In the title story Barbara is a High a school student who wants to have sex on her own terms.
Yet, without giving the story away... the way she goes about it, she seems adamant
and rigid with her plan. I couldn't help but wonder if she was really in the drivers
seat of her own life, or, we (as readers), were really to look at those deeper root causes for her choices. It seemed she was 're-acting' to cultural dissatisfaction more that she was 'at cause'.
My favorite story - A STAND OUT - for me -is the very first story called:
"How Am I Suppose To Talk To You"?
What I loved about it...is that on one hand Lala is a gay woman - ( coming out to her mother),
but it's SO MUCH more that 'coming out'. ( it's a brilliant story in my opinion)...
The author took a key issue which becomes the secondary issue ...
Much I could discuss about this one story alone. Here are a few questions I was left with
....why had Lala not seen her mother for 10 years?
....why did Lala's mother ask to see her when she did?
....why did Lala tell her father before her mother?
....what happened in that family -( what broke)- in the marriage - with the grandfather - with the
mother's hiding her level of education?
....why is it more disturbing to Lala's mother that her ex-husband knew about Lala being gay before her - yet has no problem with her being gay?
There was only one story told from the male's perspective called:
"Weekend With Beth, Kelly, Muscle, and Pammy". This story leaves questions too.
We have a couple who have sex on their first night together ( he had a lot to drink), later they
become friends. He struggles with his inner feelings about not feeling attractive towards
her....he feels like he should.
I'm left wondering ... Why is with all the modern sexual awareness - sexual communication
'still' seems to be the most difficult for partners to be fully honest with each other?
It's not just women who struggle with 'speaking up'
In "Desert Hearts", a woman, ( law student, and engaged to be married), takes a job
selling sex toys in San Francisco rather than pursue her law career. There is tension between
she and her father - ( who paid for Law School). I wasn't completely sure if her 'sex-selling' job
was all about anger towards her father - her fiancé - or that deep down she had never yet
explored 'who she is'... 'what she wants to do in the world'... and by beginning by exploring
with her own sexuality wasn't as good of a place to start as any?
All these stories - and the others are not just about sexual situations - and sexual politics -
but about relationships, family, and intimacy.... with varied emotional ranges. ( sad - funny- and
primal).
Thank You to HarperCollins Pubishing, Netgalley, and Lauren Holmes
good personality profile of her characters, sets up the story situations, but never
gives us the root cause for any person, place, or circumstances. Instead of reading the stories 'unfold' as we often do... She leaves out the 'unfolding'.
The result is thought-provoking....leaving purposeful-reader-interpretation.
Starting with the title of the book...the word 'Slut'...opens up a door for conversation
The word itself comes with historical baggage. ( shame), yet in recent years there has been
a social shift in how the word might be talked about. (feminist issues, double standards)
In the title story Barbara is a High a school student who wants to have sex on her own terms.
Yet, without giving the story away... the way she goes about it, she seems adamant
and rigid with her plan. I couldn't help but wonder if she was really in the drivers
seat of her own life, or, we (as readers), were really to look at those deeper root causes for her choices. It seemed she was 're-acting' to cultural dissatisfaction more that she was 'at cause'.
My favorite story - A STAND OUT - for me -is the very first story called:
"How Am I Suppose To Talk To You"?
What I loved about it...is that on one hand Lala is a gay woman - ( coming out to her mother),
but it's SO MUCH more that 'coming out'. ( it's a brilliant story in my opinion)...
The author took a key issue which becomes the secondary issue ...
Much I could discuss about this one story alone. Here are a few questions I was left with
....why had Lala not seen her mother for 10 years?
....why did Lala's mother ask to see her when she did?
....why did Lala tell her father before her mother?
....what happened in that family -( what broke)- in the marriage - with the grandfather - with the
mother's hiding her level of education?
....why is it more disturbing to Lala's mother that her ex-husband knew about Lala being gay before her - yet has no problem with her being gay?
There was only one story told from the male's perspective called:
"Weekend With Beth, Kelly, Muscle, and Pammy". This story leaves questions too.
We have a couple who have sex on their first night together ( he had a lot to drink), later they
become friends. He struggles with his inner feelings about not feeling attractive towards
her....he feels like he should.
I'm left wondering ... Why is with all the modern sexual awareness - sexual communication
'still' seems to be the most difficult for partners to be fully honest with each other?
It's not just women who struggle with 'speaking up'
In "Desert Hearts", a woman, ( law student, and engaged to be married), takes a job
selling sex toys in San Francisco rather than pursue her law career. There is tension between
she and her father - ( who paid for Law School). I wasn't completely sure if her 'sex-selling' job
was all about anger towards her father - her fiancé - or that deep down she had never yet
explored 'who she is'... 'what she wants to do in the world'... and by beginning by exploring
with her own sexuality wasn't as good of a place to start as any?
All these stories - and the others are not just about sexual situations - and sexual politics -
but about relationships, family, and intimacy.... with varied emotional ranges. ( sad - funny- and
primal).
Thank You to HarperCollins Pubishing, Netgalley, and Lauren Holmes
May 12, 2016
Important facts about this book:
1. These are those kind of stories that are really scenes, slices of characters' lives. Don't expect them to have endings. (It's not just a stylistic quirk that the subtitle is 'And Other People' instead of 'And Other Stories'. These are sketches of individuals first and foremost.)
2. This is mainly a book about sex and dogs. But not in a weird way.
3. I was impressed with how real (almost) all of these characters felt to me, but something about the stories consistently left me a little cold.
How Am I Supposed To Talk To You?
A girl goes to visit her mother in Mexico, armed with a suitcase of Victoria's Secret underwear which the two of them will sell on the beach - 'she said the kids there wanted this underwear more than marijuana'. A good opener for the book, this story sets the tone; it's simple, clean in its prose, careful in its detail, and anticlimactic.
Weekend With Beth, Kelly, Muscle, and Pammy
A guy called Jason spends a weekend in New York with his sister and a friend (the other two names in the title - Muscle and Pammy - are different names for the same dog). Along the way he ruminates on his relationship with Beth, his ex-flatmate and one-time lover, who seems to both attract and disgust him. This was my least favourite story of the collection - I didn't find Jason's voice convincing at all; I couldn't believe he was a guy (as opposed to a guy written by a woman, I mean). Thankfully, none of the other stories turned out to be narrated by male characters.
Mike Anonymous
In contrast, I loved this one, and I think of all the stories, this was the most original and interesting. The narrator works in a sexual health clinic, and Mike Anonymous is an incomprehensible patient she has to deal with. Fresh and funny and sad.
I Will Crawl To Raleigh If I Have To
(I like the fact that some of these story titles sound like emo song titles.) This one's about a girl who's planning to break up with her boyfriend; in fact, she's desperate to break up with him, but her plans are derailed by a family holiday. The American-middle-class-family-vacation stuff was a turn-off, but I loved the narrator's account of her relationship, a great example of the sad/funny balance that Holmes seems to do really well.
Desert Hearts
A young woman moves to San Francisco with her boyfriend, who's starting a lucrative role in a law firm. She's got a law degree too, but doesn't want to work in law, partly to spite her father. So she gets a sales job in a sex shop. This was another one of the best, and most comic - the narrator's lies spiral out of control after she pretends to be a lesbian in order to get hired, then has to keep justifying her faux-sexuality to a suspicious colleague.
Pearl and the Swiss Guy Fall In Love
An unnamed narrator starts dating a man known only as 'the Swiss guy'. Pearl is her dog, a pit bull who hates men until the Swiss guy comes along. It's only when the narrator lets the Swiss guy move into her apartment, supposedly on a temporary basis, that she realises she doesn't actually like him (while Pearl grows to like him instead). This was fine, but kind of depressing.
New Girls
A (pre-teen, young teen?) girl moves from America to Germany with her family. Her story is structured according to a chronological list of the girls she becomes friends - or enemies - with in her new hometown. A good evocation of what it's like to live in an unfamiliar country while young, though the various characters are too briefly described to make a proper impression.
My Humans
Given the number of times dogs appear in this book, it isn't really surprising to find one of the stories is narrated by a dog. This charts the disintegration of a relationship - that of the owners - through the eyes of said dog, Princess. I thought this was going to work badly at first, but I liked the way the owners' affection towards the dog was developed. Towards the end, the story becomes more reliant on dialogue, which actually improves it. Quite cleverly done.
Jerks
I couldn't remember a thing about this when I came to write this review. Which maybe says a lot. Having skimmed it again, it seems to me that it typifies the book - another one about a postgrad student who moves somewhere (in this case back home with her dad) after a breakup; a character who's broke but has rich parents. The story is about her interest in photography and her experiences with babysitting a troublesome little boy.
Barbara the Slut
The blurb says this story follows the title character as she overcomes her high school's toxic slut-shaming culture, which is a buzzwordy way to describe it, but also not actually what happens. The story is set up with this idea that Barbara only sleeps with every boy one time, that this is because she once slept with the same boy more than once and 'it made him dishonest' - but there's no real examination of why Barbara thinks like this, how a girl would come to such a conclusion by the age of sixteen. Which is fine, the story doesn't have to explain that, but because it doesn't, Barbara reads too much like a teen written by an adult, with an adult's hindsight, a too-mature self-possession about sex and the transactional nature of high school relationships. By making her perfect in every other way (she's a fitness-obsessed, straight-A student who wins a place at Princeton while also caring for her autistic brother) the story also felt like it was hitting me over the head with the idea that she couldn't really be a 'slut' because she was objectively a 'good person' - which surely undermines its supposed message. Wouldn't this have been a more interesting and daring story if Barbara's sex life had been the only thing that defined her, and/or had distracted/taken away from other things in her life? If the reader had been challenged to sympathise with her despite that? As it was, the story actually had the opposite impact, as I found the character smug and annoying, and wasn't inclined to sympathise with her individually. (This story annoyed me, can you tell?) In short, I wasn't convinced by anything about the character or scenario at all.
What I really felt this collection needed was greater diversity. All of the stories are written in first person; they're all about young or young-ish people trying to find their way in the world; they're all about American characters from similar backgrounds; they're all set in America in the present day (except 'New Girls', which depicts an American protagonist in Germany, and appears to take place in the late 90s). Even the dog-centric story has much the same tone and focus as the others.
Despite my rant about the final story, I think it's clear from her sharp-eyed prose and the clever humour in stories like 'Mike Anonymous' and 'Desert Hearts' that Holmes is a talent to watch. This book, overall, simply fell a little short of my expectations.
1. These are those kind of stories that are really scenes, slices of characters' lives. Don't expect them to have endings. (It's not just a stylistic quirk that the subtitle is 'And Other People' instead of 'And Other Stories'. These are sketches of individuals first and foremost.)
2. This is mainly a book about sex and dogs. But not in a weird way.
3. I was impressed with how real (almost) all of these characters felt to me, but something about the stories consistently left me a little cold.
How Am I Supposed To Talk To You?
A girl goes to visit her mother in Mexico, armed with a suitcase of Victoria's Secret underwear which the two of them will sell on the beach - 'she said the kids there wanted this underwear more than marijuana'. A good opener for the book, this story sets the tone; it's simple, clean in its prose, careful in its detail, and anticlimactic.
Weekend With Beth, Kelly, Muscle, and Pammy
A guy called Jason spends a weekend in New York with his sister and a friend (the other two names in the title - Muscle and Pammy - are different names for the same dog). Along the way he ruminates on his relationship with Beth, his ex-flatmate and one-time lover, who seems to both attract and disgust him. This was my least favourite story of the collection - I didn't find Jason's voice convincing at all; I couldn't believe he was a guy (as opposed to a guy written by a woman, I mean). Thankfully, none of the other stories turned out to be narrated by male characters.
Mike Anonymous
In contrast, I loved this one, and I think of all the stories, this was the most original and interesting. The narrator works in a sexual health clinic, and Mike Anonymous is an incomprehensible patient she has to deal with. Fresh and funny and sad.
I Will Crawl To Raleigh If I Have To
(I like the fact that some of these story titles sound like emo song titles.) This one's about a girl who's planning to break up with her boyfriend; in fact, she's desperate to break up with him, but her plans are derailed by a family holiday. The American-middle-class-family-vacation stuff was a turn-off, but I loved the narrator's account of her relationship, a great example of the sad/funny balance that Holmes seems to do really well.
Desert Hearts
A young woman moves to San Francisco with her boyfriend, who's starting a lucrative role in a law firm. She's got a law degree too, but doesn't want to work in law, partly to spite her father. So she gets a sales job in a sex shop. This was another one of the best, and most comic - the narrator's lies spiral out of control after she pretends to be a lesbian in order to get hired, then has to keep justifying her faux-sexuality to a suspicious colleague.
Pearl and the Swiss Guy Fall In Love
An unnamed narrator starts dating a man known only as 'the Swiss guy'. Pearl is her dog, a pit bull who hates men until the Swiss guy comes along. It's only when the narrator lets the Swiss guy move into her apartment, supposedly on a temporary basis, that she realises she doesn't actually like him (while Pearl grows to like him instead). This was fine, but kind of depressing.
New Girls
A (pre-teen, young teen?) girl moves from America to Germany with her family. Her story is structured according to a chronological list of the girls she becomes friends - or enemies - with in her new hometown. A good evocation of what it's like to live in an unfamiliar country while young, though the various characters are too briefly described to make a proper impression.
My Humans
Given the number of times dogs appear in this book, it isn't really surprising to find one of the stories is narrated by a dog. This charts the disintegration of a relationship - that of the owners - through the eyes of said dog, Princess. I thought this was going to work badly at first, but I liked the way the owners' affection towards the dog was developed. Towards the end, the story becomes more reliant on dialogue, which actually improves it. Quite cleverly done.
Jerks
I couldn't remember a thing about this when I came to write this review. Which maybe says a lot. Having skimmed it again, it seems to me that it typifies the book - another one about a postgrad student who moves somewhere (in this case back home with her dad) after a breakup; a character who's broke but has rich parents. The story is about her interest in photography and her experiences with babysitting a troublesome little boy.
Barbara the Slut
The blurb says this story follows the title character as she overcomes her high school's toxic slut-shaming culture, which is a buzzwordy way to describe it, but also not actually what happens. The story is set up with this idea that Barbara only sleeps with every boy one time, that this is because she once slept with the same boy more than once and 'it made him dishonest' - but there's no real examination of why Barbara thinks like this, how a girl would come to such a conclusion by the age of sixteen. Which is fine, the story doesn't have to explain that, but because it doesn't, Barbara reads too much like a teen written by an adult, with an adult's hindsight, a too-mature self-possession about sex and the transactional nature of high school relationships. By making her perfect in every other way (she's a fitness-obsessed, straight-A student who wins a place at Princeton while also caring for her autistic brother) the story also felt like it was hitting me over the head with the idea that she couldn't really be a 'slut' because she was objectively a 'good person' - which surely undermines its supposed message. Wouldn't this have been a more interesting and daring story if Barbara's sex life had been the only thing that defined her, and/or had distracted/taken away from other things in her life? If the reader had been challenged to sympathise with her despite that? As it was, the story actually had the opposite impact, as I found the character smug and annoying, and wasn't inclined to sympathise with her individually. (This story annoyed me, can you tell?) In short, I wasn't convinced by anything about the character or scenario at all.
What I really felt this collection needed was greater diversity. All of the stories are written in first person; they're all about young or young-ish people trying to find their way in the world; they're all about American characters from similar backgrounds; they're all set in America in the present day (except 'New Girls', which depicts an American protagonist in Germany, and appears to take place in the late 90s). Even the dog-centric story has much the same tone and focus as the others.
Despite my rant about the final story, I think it's clear from her sharp-eyed prose and the clever humour in stories like 'Mike Anonymous' and 'Desert Hearts' that Holmes is a talent to watch. This book, overall, simply fell a little short of my expectations.
November 1, 2015
i guess at hunter's mfa program they don't teach how to write endings. whooooa okay, shots fired. but seriously, this book is SO sophomoric and simple to the point where I felt insulted after reading it. it is occasionally funny, but relies on ridiculously easy (and easily ridiculous) jokes. in order to blend in with her new lesbian friends, a woman decides she needs a rattail. seriously. aren't we beyond those jokes?
her prose is clean as hell, which is great, but because the prose is so into the idea of being apathetic and withdrawn, the narratives don't elicit the emotions that readers should be feeling. just as in phil klay's redeployment (i mentioned klay because he is a a good friend of holmes and a fellow hunter grad) all of the stories blend together because they are told in the exact same voice, despite centering on very different characters. writers like amy hempel and rebecca curtis can get away with this mostly because they are clearly writing about themselves and they very never stray too far from their own experiences.
this is the quintessential millenial book--and i say this as a millenial: it's unaffected, apathetic, evocative of Big Ideas but ultimately does not want to put in the effort of rendering thos ideas in emotionally interesting ways. man, i feel like i sound like aaron sorkin. i should probably quit this review before i start ranting about how buzzfeed has ruined the world.
her prose is clean as hell, which is great, but because the prose is so into the idea of being apathetic and withdrawn, the narratives don't elicit the emotions that readers should be feeling. just as in phil klay's redeployment (i mentioned klay because he is a a good friend of holmes and a fellow hunter grad) all of the stories blend together because they are told in the exact same voice, despite centering on very different characters. writers like amy hempel and rebecca curtis can get away with this mostly because they are clearly writing about themselves and they very never stray too far from their own experiences.
this is the quintessential millenial book--and i say this as a millenial: it's unaffected, apathetic, evocative of Big Ideas but ultimately does not want to put in the effort of rendering thos ideas in emotionally interesting ways. man, i feel like i sound like aaron sorkin. i should probably quit this review before i start ranting about how buzzfeed has ruined the world.
March 9, 2016
Me during the first story:
Me after the third story:
This shit was a BOREFEST! The first story was alright but the second story was so boring and bland I was so scared to go on. I moved on to story 3 and it was just as boring if not more than story 2. With that title for a book, I was expecting something hilarious, dark, and deep. I didn't get any of those things. This was a waste of time. I would not recommend it AT ALL.
Me after the third story:
This shit was a BOREFEST! The first story was alright but the second story was so boring and bland I was so scared to go on. I moved on to story 3 and it was just as boring if not more than story 2. With that title for a book, I was expecting something hilarious, dark, and deep. I didn't get any of those things. This was a waste of time. I would not recommend it AT ALL.
June 17, 2023
Audiobook narrated by Jorjeana Marie 5hrs 12 minutes
First time that I have listened to a short story collection on Audible. I chose this book because of it's "in your face" title. But that may have been the most provocative thing about it. My main take way from my reading experience seemed to be that Lauren Holmes has met a lot of people that feel the dog is a third wheel in a couple's relationship and she has a difficult time concluding a story.
Maybe my expectations were too much but this one failed to grab my attention.
ŷ review published 17/06/23
First time that I have listened to a short story collection on Audible. I chose this book because of it's "in your face" title. But that may have been the most provocative thing about it. My main take way from my reading experience seemed to be that Lauren Holmes has met a lot of people that feel the dog is a third wheel in a couple's relationship and she has a difficult time concluding a story.
Maybe my expectations were too much but this one failed to grab my attention.
ŷ review published 17/06/23
March 22, 2015
These short stories are fresh and conversational, funny and modern. I'm sure they were horribly hard to write, as all the best stuff is, but you can't tell, because Holmes isn't interested in showing off. In contrast to a piece of sh*t like Hausfrau, here's a book that's full of ideas and fraught situations but not of pretension or self-importance.
The stories are about teenagers and people in their 20s; they're about sex, but they're also about how wonderful it is to have siblings, which I love. One of the best stories, "Jerks," is narrated by a dog. There's so much understated truth-telling here, it takes your breath away. It's one of those collections that makes you think, "I didn't even realize it was possible to be so honest."
The stories are about teenagers and people in their 20s; they're about sex, but they're also about how wonderful it is to have siblings, which I love. One of the best stories, "Jerks," is narrated by a dog. There's so much understated truth-telling here, it takes your breath away. It's one of those collections that makes you think, "I didn't even realize it was possible to be so honest."
April 19, 2022
A bit of a mixed bag, but a worthwhile reading experience. This is sort of the risk of short story collections from less familiar writers, I guess. I will say, the order of the stories was perfect and the end-caps were the ones that got me the most! Well, that and the sex toy shop story. That one was a gem.
I appreciate the themes of the stories, and the title story especially was effective, uncomfortable but I think really did a good job of communicating how deeply cutting bullying can be, and how prevalent shame and double standards are in our society.
I like the way Holmes writes, and her sense of humor. Fairly dark, understated and stealthily walloping your heart. I would definitely check out more of LH’s writing, preferably a novel. My main issues came down to uneven execution/lack of cohesion in some of the stories (although I really loved some of them, like I said a mixed bag), but I was able to get emotionally invested in a lot of the characters very quickly, and I like the dynamics between those characters. The dialogue felt organic even with the often absurd situations, and I laughed out loud a few times.
I’ll keep my eyes peeled for new work.
I appreciate the themes of the stories, and the title story especially was effective, uncomfortable but I think really did a good job of communicating how deeply cutting bullying can be, and how prevalent shame and double standards are in our society.
I like the way Holmes writes, and her sense of humor. Fairly dark, understated and stealthily walloping your heart. I would definitely check out more of LH’s writing, preferably a novel. My main issues came down to uneven execution/lack of cohesion in some of the stories (although I really loved some of them, like I said a mixed bag), but I was able to get emotionally invested in a lot of the characters very quickly, and I like the dynamics between those characters. The dialogue felt organic even with the often absurd situations, and I laughed out loud a few times.
I’ll keep my eyes peeled for new work.
September 29, 2015
Despite the salacious title, "Barbara the Slut" is not about sex. This book of 10 short stories is about the human condition -- relationships between siblings, parent/child relationships, life cross-roads, job stresses and more. Sure, sex plays a role -- to a varying degree -- in many of the stories, but it's not the central theme. Those hoping for pages of steamy love scenes will be disappointed.
I loved Holmes's style and wondered why I don't read short stories more often, as it's a powerful genre. In this collection Holmes delivers "slice of life" stories of people in completely different situations. There's not a lot of background at the start of her stories, nor are there tidy endings. I see in other reviews this is driving some readers batty, but it didn't bother me. Each of the characters in the stories is so distinct, that Holmes does not need to rely on plot in order for the story to be fulfilling. There was enough plot to satisfy, while having the characters drive each piece forward. It was a refreshing change from the confines of many novels I usually read.
4 stars.
I loved Holmes's style and wondered why I don't read short stories more often, as it's a powerful genre. In this collection Holmes delivers "slice of life" stories of people in completely different situations. There's not a lot of background at the start of her stories, nor are there tidy endings. I see in other reviews this is driving some readers batty, but it didn't bother me. Each of the characters in the stories is so distinct, that Holmes does not need to rely on plot in order for the story to be fulfilling. There was enough plot to satisfy, while having the characters drive each piece forward. It was a refreshing change from the confines of many novels I usually read.
4 stars.
November 3, 2021
This collection of short stories came out of left field and surprised the actual fuck out of me! I’m always hesitant when it comes to short story collections because they’re so hit or miss for me but this one was such an absolute HIT. With every story I thought it couldn’t get better and that one was my favourite but they just kept proving me wrong and getting better and better. I loved how they were all loosely connected by a sexual theme but not in a crass way, it was almost classy actually and quite subtle. It’s not something I’d normally go for or pick up on my own but it just goes to show that sometimes pushing out of your comfort zone when reading can be quite rewarding. This was such an excellent debut from Holmes and I’m very much looking forward to seeing more from her!
January 24, 2016
Totally enjoyed this at the sentence level, the slice-of-life-story level, and as a whole; maybe my favorite short stories this year, and I've read some good ones this year. 4.5 stars.
Was initially taken in by this book's title and awesome cover, and the content lived up to the high expectations raised. Loved this collection and want more Lauren Holmes, stat! I could/would have whizzed through these stories in no time, but fortunately life sent some obstacles my way, and I'm glad this created an opportunity to prolong the enjoyment.
Said cover and title/subtitle mirror the essence of the stories and prose to be encountered inside: simple and straightforward but impactful; deceptively effortless in appearance, but upon delving deeper, much thought and care and artistry is evident; poignant with more than a touch of whimsy. Holmes writes so well of the tribulations and triumphs of slow-onset adulthood - a hot pop culture topic these days - but adds something different to the conversation than, say, other hot properties like HBO's "Girls." Holmes is funny, but she creates complex characters that she presents so observantly and treats with respect as they encounter the relational revelations involved in the coming of age process and the ultimate project of developing self-surety and independence.
"Mike Anonymous" and "Desert Hearts" are two of my favorite short stories I've read in a while and definitely my favorite short stories set in an STD clinic and a sex toy shop, respectively. (Also, as a social worker, I can say that "Mike Anonymous" is possibly the best story I've encountered that captures the occasional surreal weirdness that can be entailed in attempts to deliver social services.) In different ways, both stories deal with losing one's way, loneliness, and fear of/lack of intimacy.
"How Am I Supposed To Talk To You?" is a refreshingly different take on the coming out story, and "I Will Crawl To Raleigh If I Have To" (can Holmes think of great titles or what?) is a different take on the teen romance and breakup story. In general, Holmes' teen women protagonists (see also "New Girls" and the title story) are refreshingly smart and liberated while remaining real, but she also writes great young adult women and young adult men, children, and even dogs. (There are lots of great dogs in this collection, which is perhaps one reason why I loved it, and also a preponderance of characters named Eunice.)
Speaking of dogs, "My Humans," another favorite, is told from the point of view of a dog, which (even to a dog lover like me) sounds like a horrible, horrible idea, but the fact that Holmes pulls this off so brilliantly is a testament to her skill; it is a wonderful story and of course it's not really all about the dog. "Pearl and the Swiss Guy Fall In Love" and "Weekend With Beth, Kelly, Muscle, and Pammy" are also stories in which dogs play an important role and which are partially about identifying our right and wrong strange bedfellows, both literally and figuratively - as is the very good "Jerks." The weakest stories are probably "New Girls" and "Weekend With Beth..." - unfortunately that is the second story, so maybe skip that one and come back later - but I highly recommend the rest and can honestly recommend them all; I've already mentioned my top three.
What did this book remind me of? It's very hard because Holmes is her own thing, but maybe imagine something like "A Girl's Guide To Hunting and Fishing," only written by someone delightfully twisted and innovative, like Miranda July. Because the stories are deceptively breezy and concise in their well-edited perfection, I also sometimes thought: "21st Century American Katherine Mansfield, with more funny." While reading this, I was also reminded many times of one of my favorite short stories ever, the Joyce Carol Oates classic "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" These stories are much more amusing and far less ominous than that one, of course, but both capture the risk, uncertainty, and loss that can be the trade-off for leaving the homestead of protracted adolescence and attempting to connect with others, sexually and otherwise, and the different kind of loneliness that one experiences while actually in relationship with others.
Where's your next book, Lauren?!
Was initially taken in by this book's title and awesome cover, and the content lived up to the high expectations raised. Loved this collection and want more Lauren Holmes, stat! I could/would have whizzed through these stories in no time, but fortunately life sent some obstacles my way, and I'm glad this created an opportunity to prolong the enjoyment.
Said cover and title/subtitle mirror the essence of the stories and prose to be encountered inside: simple and straightforward but impactful; deceptively effortless in appearance, but upon delving deeper, much thought and care and artistry is evident; poignant with more than a touch of whimsy. Holmes writes so well of the tribulations and triumphs of slow-onset adulthood - a hot pop culture topic these days - but adds something different to the conversation than, say, other hot properties like HBO's "Girls." Holmes is funny, but she creates complex characters that she presents so observantly and treats with respect as they encounter the relational revelations involved in the coming of age process and the ultimate project of developing self-surety and independence.
"Mike Anonymous" and "Desert Hearts" are two of my favorite short stories I've read in a while and definitely my favorite short stories set in an STD clinic and a sex toy shop, respectively. (Also, as a social worker, I can say that "Mike Anonymous" is possibly the best story I've encountered that captures the occasional surreal weirdness that can be entailed in attempts to deliver social services.) In different ways, both stories deal with losing one's way, loneliness, and fear of/lack of intimacy.
"How Am I Supposed To Talk To You?" is a refreshingly different take on the coming out story, and "I Will Crawl To Raleigh If I Have To" (can Holmes think of great titles or what?) is a different take on the teen romance and breakup story. In general, Holmes' teen women protagonists (see also "New Girls" and the title story) are refreshingly smart and liberated while remaining real, but she also writes great young adult women and young adult men, children, and even dogs. (There are lots of great dogs in this collection, which is perhaps one reason why I loved it, and also a preponderance of characters named Eunice.)
Speaking of dogs, "My Humans," another favorite, is told from the point of view of a dog, which (even to a dog lover like me) sounds like a horrible, horrible idea, but the fact that Holmes pulls this off so brilliantly is a testament to her skill; it is a wonderful story and of course it's not really all about the dog. "Pearl and the Swiss Guy Fall In Love" and "Weekend With Beth, Kelly, Muscle, and Pammy" are also stories in which dogs play an important role and which are partially about identifying our right and wrong strange bedfellows, both literally and figuratively - as is the very good "Jerks." The weakest stories are probably "New Girls" and "Weekend With Beth..." - unfortunately that is the second story, so maybe skip that one and come back later - but I highly recommend the rest and can honestly recommend them all; I've already mentioned my top three.
What did this book remind me of? It's very hard because Holmes is her own thing, but maybe imagine something like "A Girl's Guide To Hunting and Fishing," only written by someone delightfully twisted and innovative, like Miranda July. Because the stories are deceptively breezy and concise in their well-edited perfection, I also sometimes thought: "21st Century American Katherine Mansfield, with more funny." While reading this, I was also reminded many times of one of my favorite short stories ever, the Joyce Carol Oates classic "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" These stories are much more amusing and far less ominous than that one, of course, but both capture the risk, uncertainty, and loss that can be the trade-off for leaving the homestead of protracted adolescence and attempting to connect with others, sexually and otherwise, and the different kind of loneliness that one experiences while actually in relationship with others.
Where's your next book, Lauren?!
August 25, 2015
When I read the blurbs on the back of this book I got excited when words like "complex" "fearless" and "gorgeous" were used to describe Lauren Holmes' collection of short stories. Apparently, Lauren Holmes "writes like a master".
Well, after finishing this book tonight, all I can say is, "Did I read the same book?"
There was nothing special about the writing or about the stories. The characters and the plots came off as shallow to me.
Maybe this was why it was 30% off at Barnes and Noble?
At least it will look pretty on my bookshelf.
Well, after finishing this book tonight, all I can say is, "Did I read the same book?"
There was nothing special about the writing or about the stories. The characters and the plots came off as shallow to me.
Maybe this was why it was 30% off at Barnes and Noble?
At least it will look pretty on my bookshelf.
September 27, 2015
A fantastic wee collection focusing on, but not pandering to, twenty-something life. I loved the characters, the incidental nature of their troubles, the unapologetic approach to their flaws and uncertainties. Holmes does a great job of making the mundane engaging and putting the reader into the mindset of the character. Highly recommended.
April 6, 2018
Short stories can be a hit-or-miss. "Barbara the Slut and Other People" by Lauren Holmes is definitely a hit for sure! I truly enjoyed ALL the short stories in this collection (10 in total). Holmes's writing/dialogue is humorous, snappy, vibrant, and sparkling with personality. "Desert Hearts" is probably my favorite. An absolute delight. I hope Holmes continues to write more short stories in the future, she certainly has the talent for it. A strong and clear voice indeed. Enjoy!
August 12, 2015
Reading this was like being underwater and coming up for air in a world where you can read about real people and real sex and real relationships with boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses/parents/siblings/jerks/dogs. Not every single story killed me, but some killed me so dead--especially "Barbara the Slut" which should be required reading for everyone.
October 14, 2015
It's weird because I loved the stories but I forgot them really quickly. I read it for bookclub so I had to go back over some of them looking for details a few weeks after finishing. I wound up getting sucked in and reading whole stories over again. Something about the writing is utterly captivating. Each story is an intimate (too intimate) glimpse into a different character. I didn't want to be in any of their heads but being there was hypnotic. This might be exactly what it feels like to wake up and find out you're suddenly someone else. Foreign and lost and homesick, but unable leave without pushing the buttons and seeing what will happen. It felt icky to be in those characters' heads but it also felt really REAL.
I kept looking for links between stories and cross-over characters. They're definitely there, but only if you want them to be. They won't hit you over the head.
I kept looking for links between stories and cross-over characters. They're definitely there, but only if you want them to be. They won't hit you over the head.
September 15, 2015
I would say I'm the core audience for this book. Single, a young woman, and a slut. Haha, just kidding about that last part - but I flew through this collection of short stories and laughed and cried all the way. Her writing is some what sparse and direct and what I've read of some reviews some people believes this makes it hard to connect with the characters. I disagree completely. All these characters felt super real to me. My favorite story hands down was the one about the girl working in the sex shop. Hysterically funny yet hysterically sad. I also liked the story from the dog's point of view and the one where the girl had to break up her boyfriend as her car is losing bits of the floor. Great collection and excited to see this author when she comes to Boston Bookfest next month!
November 19, 2023
No. Absolutely not. Shallow and lazy. I hate to bad mouth a work so much. Congrats to the author. I am going to assume it is the 'humor' I don't get and that is causing the problem. Writing about sex is not enough to be daring. I felt like I was reading the journal of some MTV reality show lead. "He said, I said, I said, he said, she said, said said said."
April 17, 2017
I really enjoyed this collection of short stories. Each one dealt with the sort of thing that women and girls have to deal with on a daily basis and I liked the way that none of the stories had a neat story arc with a tied up ending. They were well written and kind of saucy too. Really recommended.
June 27, 2015
I really enjoyed this collection of stories. Holmes writes with a particular type of acerbic humor that is difficult to pull off, but she does it over and over again. Here’s an example from the opening paragraph of “Desert Hearts,� one of my favorite stories in the collection: “When I moved to San Francisco with my fiancé, he started practicing law and I started selling toys. I was supposed to start practicing law too, but I didn’t have the heart. I almost didn’t even have the heart to take the bar, but I found it when my dad threatened to cut me off. And then he cut me off right afterward anyway, because he said it was time to get a job, and if I didn’t want either of the jobs he had found for me, I was on my goddamn own.� You want to keep reading, don’t you? I did, and I raced through this entire collection in about two days. I hope Holmes is working on her debut novel.
September 15, 2015
I really enjoyed this. Smart and refreshing.
August 26, 2015
OK, I know I'm not the target audience demographic for this book. Maybe that's why for the most part these stories just failed to engross me in so many ways. No introspection. No insight. No emotional involvement whatsoever. Yes, many of these stories are about various issues women must face: telling your estranged mother you're gay, how to tell a fling it's over, slut-shaming in High School, trying to fit in in High School, breaking up with a boy you're no longer interested in, working in a health-care clinic; all interesting topics to deal with. Unfortunately these stories are told in such a way as to render them devoid of any emotional impact or introspection.
An example, here's the story on life choices:
My father is a lawyer. My fiancée is a lawyer. I became a lawyer. I didn't want to be a lawyer so I got a job in a sex-toy store selling dildos to lesbians. My father was angry. I eventually told my boss I wasn't a lesbian and was fired. My fiancée got me a dog.
That's about it. Nothing about the pressure to be successful, to have a "serious" job. Nothing about the job satisfaction of working in a sex-toy shop and about finding your own way. Nothing about her relationship with her fiancée. Nothing about her interactions with her customers. All we get is "I got fired, my fiancée got me a dog."
The only two successful stories are: "My Humans" which is told from the point of view of a dog, where the lack of emotional involvement is limited to dog basics (it smelled good, it felt good, the tampon tasted good), and the title story about slut-shaming where we get some insight as to the character's inner life.
An example, here's the story on life choices:
My father is a lawyer. My fiancée is a lawyer. I became a lawyer. I didn't want to be a lawyer so I got a job in a sex-toy store selling dildos to lesbians. My father was angry. I eventually told my boss I wasn't a lesbian and was fired. My fiancée got me a dog.
That's about it. Nothing about the pressure to be successful, to have a "serious" job. Nothing about the job satisfaction of working in a sex-toy shop and about finding your own way. Nothing about her relationship with her fiancée. Nothing about her interactions with her customers. All we get is "I got fired, my fiancée got me a dog."
The only two successful stories are: "My Humans" which is told from the point of view of a dog, where the lack of emotional involvement is limited to dog basics (it smelled good, it felt good, the tampon tasted good), and the title story about slut-shaming where we get some insight as to the character's inner life.
July 19, 2017
I had no preconceived notions about this book; I just knew that is was a collection of short stories and picked it out, so I had no expectations high or low. The stories are mostly centered around college students or recent college graduates, with a couple of exceptions. The theme seems to be that all of these characters are still figuring themselves out and pivotal moments in their young lives are shown. I found a few stories to be funny, some were so-so, and some were just dry, but overall it's an easy read with realistic situations and would make a nice beach read.
My favorites were "Desert Hearts", where a law school graduate ends up working in a sex toy store, much to the chagrin of her overbearing father; "New Humans", which chronicles a young couple's relationship through a wacky dog's eyes; and of course "Barbara the Slut", which is about high school slut-shaming and general bullying. Out of all of the stories, "New Girls" seemed the most out of place in this book of young adults and sex because it's about a 6th grader adjusting a new country. It didn't fit. Most of the stories don't have much in the way of resolution or epiphany. I would say it's a decent read, although not likely to be reread.
My favorites were "Desert Hearts", where a law school graduate ends up working in a sex toy store, much to the chagrin of her overbearing father; "New Humans", which chronicles a young couple's relationship through a wacky dog's eyes; and of course "Barbara the Slut", which is about high school slut-shaming and general bullying. Out of all of the stories, "New Girls" seemed the most out of place in this book of young adults and sex because it's about a 6th grader adjusting a new country. It didn't fit. Most of the stories don't have much in the way of resolution or epiphany. I would say it's a decent read, although not likely to be reread.
September 1, 2015
The most interesting part of this book is the title. I feel like Holmes wanted her overall meanings and themes to appear in contrast to her totally bland descriptions and so-realistic-it's-completely-inane dialogue, but then forgot to include any meanings or themes. Subject matter notwithstanding, this reads like a book for third graders. Am I missing something?
February 12, 2016
I loved this! I loved this, I loved this, I wanted to do nothing but read it while I was reading it.
For others who enjoyed it, I'd also recommend "Single, Carefree, Mellow" for other stories narrated (primarily) by unpredictable, irreverent female voices.
For others who enjoyed it, I'd also recommend "Single, Carefree, Mellow" for other stories narrated (primarily) by unpredictable, irreverent female voices.
April 23, 2017
3.5
A very good collection of warm, humane, engaging stories.
Holmes has a great ear for dialogue and a knack for putting her mostly sympathetic characters in slightly absurd but someh0w always believable situations. Some of these stories are funny; most are a little bit sad. A couple swing a bit too wide, with empathy devolving into something close to sentimentalism, but even the lesser ones have their bright, well-defined moments. I sometimes wished the endings were less abrupt (a technique that intially seemed powerful became too familiar over the course of the collection) but, overall, I found these stories accomplished and enormously readable (I finished the whole book in a single sitting) and I look forward to more work by Lauren Holmes.
A very good collection of warm, humane, engaging stories.
Holmes has a great ear for dialogue and a knack for putting her mostly sympathetic characters in slightly absurd but someh0w always believable situations. Some of these stories are funny; most are a little bit sad. A couple swing a bit too wide, with empathy devolving into something close to sentimentalism, but even the lesser ones have their bright, well-defined moments. I sometimes wished the endings were less abrupt (a technique that intially seemed powerful became too familiar over the course of the collection) but, overall, I found these stories accomplished and enormously readable (I finished the whole book in a single sitting) and I look forward to more work by Lauren Holmes.
September 6, 2020
This is really funny and a breeze to read, although I thought the stories in the first half of the collection were markedly stronger (i.e. more resonant) than the stories in the second half. I loved "Desert Hearts", "Weekend with Beth, Kelly, Muscle and Pammy", and "Pearl and the Swiss Guy Fall in Love". Holmes' style reminds me a little bit of Tao Lin, except much less referential. It's not normally something I go for, but I'd definitely read more of it from Lauren Holmes.
July 3, 2017
If you like the humor in the title, you'll love the book. All the stories were great, but I especially LOVED "My Humans", "Pearl and the Swiss Guy Fall in Love" (these two a must for dog lovers!), and "Desert Hearts".
June 11, 2017
3.5
Review to come.
Review to come.
February 6, 2018
1.5 rounded down
I very rarely DNF books on my Kindle - something about paying for something intangible makes me feel like I have to finish it no matter what. But I very nearly DNF-ed this one.
I actually picked this up after reading an article about Cat Person - that super talked about short story by - where this was recommended as a comparable collection of stories. However.. I found this to be incredibly disappointing and not really comparable in any way. Actually most of my problems with the stories here were similar to my problems with , which I found myself thinking about whilst reading - the narrator sounded like the exact same person in almost every story, the stories often had unsatisfying endings, and felt like they'd been written in a creative writing class - kooky and weird for the sake of it.
It is hard to pick out a favourite here because none of these stories stood out to me. I don't know what made me finish this - probably the guilt that I'd spent a whopping 99p on it - but I kind of wish I hadn't.
I very rarely DNF books on my Kindle - something about paying for something intangible makes me feel like I have to finish it no matter what. But I very nearly DNF-ed this one.
I actually picked this up after reading an article about Cat Person - that super talked about short story by - where this was recommended as a comparable collection of stories. However.. I found this to be incredibly disappointing and not really comparable in any way. Actually most of my problems with the stories here were similar to my problems with , which I found myself thinking about whilst reading - the narrator sounded like the exact same person in almost every story, the stories often had unsatisfying endings, and felt like they'd been written in a creative writing class - kooky and weird for the sake of it.
It is hard to pick out a favourite here because none of these stories stood out to me. I don't know what made me finish this - probably the guilt that I'd spent a whopping 99p on it - but I kind of wish I hadn't.
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