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Bad Behaviour
It should have been a time of acquiring confidence, building self respect and independence, of fostering a connection with the natural world through long hikes...
A gripping, compulsively readable memoir of bullying at an elite country boarding school.
A gripping, compulsively readable memoir of bullying at an elite country boarding school.
272 pages, Paperback
First published March 1, 2015
16 people are currently reading
682 people want to read
About the author
Rebecca Starford
29Ìýbooks120ÌýfollowersRebecca Starford is the author of Bad Behaviour, a memoir about boarding school and bullying. The book was optioned for television by Matchbox Pictures and aired in Australia on STAN, as well as streamed through more than 20 other countries across the world.â€� Rebecca's first novel,â€�The Imitator, was published in Australia, and in the United States, Canada, the UK and South Africa under the title An Unlikely Spy. â¶Ä�
She is also the co-founder and publishing director of�Kill Your Darlings, and has previously worked for Text Publishing and Australian Book Review. Originally from Melbourne, Rebecca currently lives in France.
She is also the co-founder and publishing director of�Kill Your Darlings, and has previously worked for Text Publishing and Australian Book Review. Originally from Melbourne, Rebecca currently lives in France.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews
March 23, 2015
3.5�s
As fourteen year old Rebecca Starford was driven to Silver Creek school by her Mum, she wondered why her parents were sending her to this boarding school. Twelve months she was destined to stay there � a place where all the students would learn to be confident, independent young adults � a place which was to influence the type of adults they would each become. The hikes through the bush, the mandatory runs and cross country days would educate them in becoming one with nature. The harsh environment; the bare boards wooden lodgings with no heating, no internet, no television � how was she going to cope for twelve whole months? She only knew Simone and had trouble making new friends as well�
When she arrived in her dormitory, Red House, Rebecca discovered there were fifteen beds crammed into the one room; what she didn’t realize was that they would be left mostly unsupervised but the rules were rigid. Struggling with homesickness and loneliness, she gravitated toward the most outgoing girls, never recognising the problems this would cause. And so it began � bullying, cruel taunts and hateful words, combined with getting up to mischief of the worst kind. But Rebecca was a follower and found herself horrified at her own behaviour. What on earth was wrong with her?
The story of the year at Silver Creek boarding school is punctuated (in the latter part of the book) by Rebecca in her adult life many years later; her life as an adult and the affect that single year has on her present is profound. I found Bad Behaviour to be an easy read though the content was disconcerting in places. It was also a little disjointed and seemed to finish abruptly in my opinion. But with Rebecca Starford now a writer, editor and publisher based in Melbourne, she has come a long way from that year when she was fourteen years old. Recommended.
As fourteen year old Rebecca Starford was driven to Silver Creek school by her Mum, she wondered why her parents were sending her to this boarding school. Twelve months she was destined to stay there � a place where all the students would learn to be confident, independent young adults � a place which was to influence the type of adults they would each become. The hikes through the bush, the mandatory runs and cross country days would educate them in becoming one with nature. The harsh environment; the bare boards wooden lodgings with no heating, no internet, no television � how was she going to cope for twelve whole months? She only knew Simone and had trouble making new friends as well�
When she arrived in her dormitory, Red House, Rebecca discovered there were fifteen beds crammed into the one room; what she didn’t realize was that they would be left mostly unsupervised but the rules were rigid. Struggling with homesickness and loneliness, she gravitated toward the most outgoing girls, never recognising the problems this would cause. And so it began � bullying, cruel taunts and hateful words, combined with getting up to mischief of the worst kind. But Rebecca was a follower and found herself horrified at her own behaviour. What on earth was wrong with her?
The story of the year at Silver Creek boarding school is punctuated (in the latter part of the book) by Rebecca in her adult life many years later; her life as an adult and the affect that single year has on her present is profound. I found Bad Behaviour to be an easy read though the content was disconcerting in places. It was also a little disjointed and seemed to finish abruptly in my opinion. But with Rebecca Starford now a writer, editor and publisher based in Melbourne, she has come a long way from that year when she was fourteen years old. Recommended.
March 22, 2015
Starford's memoir of her year spent at the country campus of a prestigious Victorian private school is a captivating read. The brutality of teenagers is a common enough theme in literature, but Starford draws it out expertly. The scenario - a year spent living in communal accommodation out in the Victorian bush - is ripe with tension and Starford is scathingly self-aware about the weakness and desperation of her 14 year old self. The sections of the book that flash forward to her adult life are less successful. There are strengths to the links that Starford forms between her school life and her later life experiences, but I wonder if they'd have worked better included in a more linear style - the insularity, claustrophobia and creeping dread of the Silver Creek story dissipates a bit while the book reaches to be more than just a high school memoir. Still, this is a phenomenally readable memoir, with expertly drawn characters and a painful and sad story to tell.
July 8, 2015
Like Rebecca I went to boarding school when I was 14. I remember arriving as vividly as she does - the drive from home in the car, the feelings of trepidation and nervousness. I remember what I was wearing and what we ate for dinner. Saying goodbye to mum and dad. Feeling very alone. My memory is poor about many things but I remember this well perhaps because this happened to be the time when I officially “left home�. I didn’t know that at the time, but that’s was the upshot of being sent away at that age. I think that’s the case for Starford as well.
I was the first of my sisters to go to boarding school and even though I’d read the Enid Blyton books I knew that it wasn’t going to be like ‘The Naughtiest Girl in the School�. This book is set in a location like Timbertop � where Year 9 students get sent to a campus in the countryside to experience a different side of life; lots of outdoor activities, cross-country runs, camping and they live in dormitory-based houses in groups as big as 16 without direct adult supervision.
Starford bases the book on her journal � so the voice and feelings of an adolescent are very strong. It’s a compelling narrative. She happens to be put into a house with a forceful and charismatic bully - which plays on Starford’s own need to belong and be part of things. There are other girls who are very willing to either collude with the bullying or to promulgate it as well. It’s very ‘us and them�. As the memoir unfolds, Starford writes of other adult times when she has been in the thrall of a more powerful, and sometimes fickle personality. This is a page-turning account of the intense relationships that churn between the girls.
So this is a book about identity and about bullying and about what people do in toxic relationships. It’s very good. The most impressive element was Starford’s honesty about her own behaviour. She behaves badly (part of the reason for the title) and she is brutal about this. Starford said that she was inspired to write the book particularly after reading Odd Girl Our by Rachel Simmons. She said “This was a fascinating book, which profiled dozens of teenage girls across various social milieus, and demonstrated how endemic aggression (emotional, psychological and, at times, physical) is to female friendship � and how often the aggressor is also the best and most loved friend.� () The girls do horrible things to each other and to people outside of their house like the 6 year old daughter of one of the teachers at the school.
As I read it, I thought of my time at school � I was not bullied but I certainly teased a girl who was a bit of an outsider. I also thought of my time as a teacher and of the difficulty of dealing with bullies. I thought of two boys in Year 7 and how the boy who was being bullied was unable to stay away from the bully � it was as if they were in a magnetic relationship. There was something for him in the relationship even if it was negative � and this is how it was for Rebecca Starford. She had nice friends outside of the toxic relationship but they weren’t enough for her.
I liked this comment by Michael McGirr: “Some etymologists believe that the word "bully" originates in an old Dutch word for "lover". It would be interesting to know how the expression made its passage from such a sunny place into the terrible darkness that afflicts so many relationships from kindergartens to aged-care facilities. Yet perhaps the change in the word's meaning is not as complete as it may appear. Rebecca Starford's first book is an eloquent reminder that love is a place of great vulnerability. The hunger for love, connection and belonging can give bullies their opportunity. This is partly why bullying can seldom be extinguished on a one-to-one basis by the victim alone. Bullies are best de-venomed by the entire community, which embraces and supports the target as they find their voice.� ()
We love the boarding school book. Think Harry Potter. (Don’t think Lord of the Flies). We like imagining a world where kids are thrust on their own resources � where adults are peripheral to the action. Unlike Lord of the Flies, the boarding school construct provides safety � there are adults around. Yet in this memoir, the adults are peripheral. They don’t seem to share living spaces with the students. The normal safeguards are absent. Starford’s parents are also at a distance � there are letters and contact when Rebecca is naughty but she is quite alone. The absence of adults and of interventions by the teaching staff when things go badly seems like negligence to me. I’m not a nanny state person but if this account is close to the truth (and of course there are multiple perspectives not canvassed here) then people were badly damaged as a result of this year away in the bush.
I was the first of my sisters to go to boarding school and even though I’d read the Enid Blyton books I knew that it wasn’t going to be like ‘The Naughtiest Girl in the School�. This book is set in a location like Timbertop � where Year 9 students get sent to a campus in the countryside to experience a different side of life; lots of outdoor activities, cross-country runs, camping and they live in dormitory-based houses in groups as big as 16 without direct adult supervision.
Starford bases the book on her journal � so the voice and feelings of an adolescent are very strong. It’s a compelling narrative. She happens to be put into a house with a forceful and charismatic bully - which plays on Starford’s own need to belong and be part of things. There are other girls who are very willing to either collude with the bullying or to promulgate it as well. It’s very ‘us and them�. As the memoir unfolds, Starford writes of other adult times when she has been in the thrall of a more powerful, and sometimes fickle personality. This is a page-turning account of the intense relationships that churn between the girls.
So this is a book about identity and about bullying and about what people do in toxic relationships. It’s very good. The most impressive element was Starford’s honesty about her own behaviour. She behaves badly (part of the reason for the title) and she is brutal about this. Starford said that she was inspired to write the book particularly after reading Odd Girl Our by Rachel Simmons. She said “This was a fascinating book, which profiled dozens of teenage girls across various social milieus, and demonstrated how endemic aggression (emotional, psychological and, at times, physical) is to female friendship � and how often the aggressor is also the best and most loved friend.� () The girls do horrible things to each other and to people outside of their house like the 6 year old daughter of one of the teachers at the school.
As I read it, I thought of my time at school � I was not bullied but I certainly teased a girl who was a bit of an outsider. I also thought of my time as a teacher and of the difficulty of dealing with bullies. I thought of two boys in Year 7 and how the boy who was being bullied was unable to stay away from the bully � it was as if they were in a magnetic relationship. There was something for him in the relationship even if it was negative � and this is how it was for Rebecca Starford. She had nice friends outside of the toxic relationship but they weren’t enough for her.
I liked this comment by Michael McGirr: “Some etymologists believe that the word "bully" originates in an old Dutch word for "lover". It would be interesting to know how the expression made its passage from such a sunny place into the terrible darkness that afflicts so many relationships from kindergartens to aged-care facilities. Yet perhaps the change in the word's meaning is not as complete as it may appear. Rebecca Starford's first book is an eloquent reminder that love is a place of great vulnerability. The hunger for love, connection and belonging can give bullies their opportunity. This is partly why bullying can seldom be extinguished on a one-to-one basis by the victim alone. Bullies are best de-venomed by the entire community, which embraces and supports the target as they find their voice.� ()
We love the boarding school book. Think Harry Potter. (Don’t think Lord of the Flies). We like imagining a world where kids are thrust on their own resources � where adults are peripheral to the action. Unlike Lord of the Flies, the boarding school construct provides safety � there are adults around. Yet in this memoir, the adults are peripheral. They don’t seem to share living spaces with the students. The normal safeguards are absent. Starford’s parents are also at a distance � there are letters and contact when Rebecca is naughty but she is quite alone. The absence of adults and of interventions by the teaching staff when things go badly seems like negligence to me. I’m not a nanny state person but if this account is close to the truth (and of course there are multiple perspectives not canvassed here) then people were badly damaged as a result of this year away in the bush.
April 2, 2015
I found the descriptions of high school social dynamics incredibly compelling. Really captured the power of wanting to belong and fit in at that age, and brought back many memories for me of my own high school and early uni experiences. Some quite chilling reading. The uni and adult experiences were less vivid to me, and I didn't feel fitted so well. Maybe I'd have preferred it if they were all at the end, rather than being interspersed through the book, which I felt broke up the incredible tension of the school years writing.
July 16, 2015
Note - 4.5 stars.
Oh my goodness. I went into the library today and saw this - and as I had a bit of time, I sat down to read it. An hour and a half later, I was finished. I've never done that before, but it was a compulsive read. As I read, I felt the knot in my stomach tighten. I've never experienced the extreme behaviour here (possibly - hopefully? - they were exaggerated for effect?), but I have felt similar emotions through school days - exclusions, bitchiness, the devastations when friendships end abruptly, and the blindness at times to other, better friends. And as a mother of a small girl, the breakdown of her relationship with her mother was very painful - a lesson that I won't have to apply in the future, I hope.
Oh my goodness. I went into the library today and saw this - and as I had a bit of time, I sat down to read it. An hour and a half later, I was finished. I've never done that before, but it was a compulsive read. As I read, I felt the knot in my stomach tighten. I've never experienced the extreme behaviour here (possibly - hopefully? - they were exaggerated for effect?), but I have felt similar emotions through school days - exclusions, bitchiness, the devastations when friendships end abruptly, and the blindness at times to other, better friends. And as a mother of a small girl, the breakdown of her relationship with her mother was very painful - a lesson that I won't have to apply in the future, I hope.
March 27, 2015
Said to be a memoir of bully and boarding school. But is also a young woman's awakening sexuality, poor family relations. Particularly between mother and daughter. Coming to terms with impulses that draw her to people who can and will harm her emotionally. She makes the school sound like a hell hole, Lord of the Flies. I have family who have, fortunately, had a much better experience in this school campus. One presumes Rebecca has not attended any school reunions. Will she one day? Will she reconnect with her mum?
September 15, 2017
2.5 stars. This book confused me. I kept waiting for something big to happen but it never did. Lots of small things happened, which I'm sure seemed huge to a 14 year old in boarding school, but I just didn't understand how this one year went on to define so much of her life? I felt the story was a bit disjointed in parts & that maybe there were things happening to form Rebecca's personality before she went away to school.
February 5, 2015
So this book is pretty awesome. I went to a high school with a residential campus where they sent us in year 9, so there were some things that were so blindingly familiar and it almost could have been MY school. Except mine was girls only, and - at the time - a lot smaller. Also the time period seemed to be about the same; the pop culture references Rebecca mentioned in the school chapters were mostly from my own years 9-10 also... we totally had a poster of Jimmy Hird up in one house too!
My god, the bullying in this is extreme. NOTHING like my own school - but then maybe I just didn't see it? My house was nice, but there was one house we kinda called the Bitch House... I didn't like nor associate with those girls so that was that. But one girl in that house actually left after only one term, so I guess something pretty bad must have been going on? I just never saw it. Who knows, it could have been as bad as the Kendall bullying, which was horrific. (Also the prologue, with Kendall setting herself alight using impulse - was that just a dream? I kept waiting for it to actually happen in the story but nope.)
I practically couldn't put this down once I'd started. Much preferred the boarding school chapters to the grown-up ones, but then that's just me.
My god, the bullying in this is extreme. NOTHING like my own school - but then maybe I just didn't see it? My house was nice, but there was one house we kinda called the Bitch House... I didn't like nor associate with those girls so that was that. But one girl in that house actually left after only one term, so I guess something pretty bad must have been going on? I just never saw it. Who knows, it could have been as bad as the Kendall bullying, which was horrific. (Also the prologue, with Kendall setting herself alight using impulse - was that just a dream? I kept waiting for it to actually happen in the story but nope.)
I practically couldn't put this down once I'd started. Much preferred the boarding school chapters to the grown-up ones, but then that's just me.
June 21, 2015
Bec’s year spent at the renowned Silver Creek boarding school will be one that follows her for the rest of her life. After accepting a scholarship, the fourteen year-old is sent out to the Victorian Alps to live in close confines with 15 other girls, where they are encouraged to partake in hikes, cross country races and camping in between their classes. But it’s not just the physical demands that start to take its toll on these young girls; the mental games and verbal abuse that these teenagers inflict on each other on a day-to-day basis are something you’d only see in an episode of Puberty Blues. From small shenanigans like disobeying teachers, to name calling, stealing, and outright bullying which leads to self-harm in some stories, the brutality of these actions seems of little concern to the main instigator, Portia. Bec is quick to become apart of the ever-changing pecking order of the Red House, as she discovers it is survival of the fittest, but how far is she willing to go in order to fit in?
A powerfully thought-provoking memoir, Bad Behaviour outlines one of our biggest social problems � bullying; how we treat others as well as ourselves, and demonstrates how Bec conquered her own moral demons in order to move on with her life.
A powerfully thought-provoking memoir, Bad Behaviour outlines one of our biggest social problems � bullying; how we treat others as well as ourselves, and demonstrates how Bec conquered her own moral demons in order to move on with her life.
December 20, 2015
A boarding school memoir filled with breathtaking acts of cruelty and self-criticism:
'I just need to be careful,' I say. 'You know, with being naughty. I can't get in much more trouble.'
'Good luck with that,' Emma laughs. 'You're the worst girl in Red House.'
And moments of raw, affecting insight:
'I think of Father Wilson and his sermon. About how Silver Creek gives us the chance to see God in his Creation. But it isn't that; it isn't that at all. You don't see anything clearer up here: not the girls in the house, the teachers, or whatever god there might be. You only see yourself, stripped back, bare. You see yourself in an unflinching light, and you cannot look away.'
'I just need to be careful,' I say. 'You know, with being naughty. I can't get in much more trouble.'
'Good luck with that,' Emma laughs. 'You're the worst girl in Red House.'
And moments of raw, affecting insight:
'I think of Father Wilson and his sermon. About how Silver Creek gives us the chance to see God in his Creation. But it isn't that; it isn't that at all. You don't see anything clearer up here: not the girls in the house, the teachers, or whatever god there might be. You only see yourself, stripped back, bare. You see yourself in an unflinching light, and you cannot look away.'
April 29, 2015
Reading this made me thankful I never went to boarding school, even though I was threatened with it often enough. Mind you I think this kind of behaviour goes on within every school at some level.
April 11, 2015
Bad Behaviour is Australian writer and editor Rebecca Starford's autobiography about a year spent at an elite alternative boarding school in the bush, that has a focus on physical activity and where all modern technology--phones, televisions etc are banned. Along with sixteen other girls, some of them quite badly behaved, some of them quite vulnerable, she was sent to stay in a self-governing and mostly unsupervised boarding house. The autobiography tells of some of the shocking incidents of bullying that occurred during her time there and the effect that some of the incidents later had on her adult life.
I found Bad Behaviour to be strangely addictive reading. Although my own schooling was quite different (I attended a public high school with a 'bad' reputation,) I instantly drew comparisons between Rebecca's schooling and her relationship with the other boarders, and my own experiences at high school--the fears of not fitting in, of being marginalised for no good reason and of sucking up to the girls who wield all the power. Through flashbacks to the past and accounts of her present day struggles, the author nails the nature of female friendships and relationships, and the utter devastation of being rejected by the people we care about the most.
Many of the girls in the boarding house are desperate to win the approval of Portia, the senior girl who rules over the others, even though they do not like her. Rebecca is for a time favoured by Portia and later dropped. She also watches as another girl, Kendall is relentlessly bullied. During this period she battles homesickness, the loss of a loved one and some horrible experiences at the hands of her teachers that supposedly build character. The teachers are either oblivious to most of the bullying that goes on in her house, or they do not care. Rebecca's parents seem similarly oblivious to the problems that their daughter is experiencing and the fractured relationship that she experiences with her mother is also mentioned, as is the way that sadly, the two women become estranged in later years. Meanwhile, the author herself is not afraid to tell it like it is, often holding herself accountable for various incidents and demonstrating much of her own bad behaviour.
This tale of boarding school is unflinchingly real. Definitely not for the faint of heart. If you want to know what female bullying really looks like, then I highly recommend reading Bad Behaviour.
This review also appears on my blog, Kathryn's Inbox.
I found Bad Behaviour to be strangely addictive reading. Although my own schooling was quite different (I attended a public high school with a 'bad' reputation,) I instantly drew comparisons between Rebecca's schooling and her relationship with the other boarders, and my own experiences at high school--the fears of not fitting in, of being marginalised for no good reason and of sucking up to the girls who wield all the power. Through flashbacks to the past and accounts of her present day struggles, the author nails the nature of female friendships and relationships, and the utter devastation of being rejected by the people we care about the most.
Many of the girls in the boarding house are desperate to win the approval of Portia, the senior girl who rules over the others, even though they do not like her. Rebecca is for a time favoured by Portia and later dropped. She also watches as another girl, Kendall is relentlessly bullied. During this period she battles homesickness, the loss of a loved one and some horrible experiences at the hands of her teachers that supposedly build character. The teachers are either oblivious to most of the bullying that goes on in her house, or they do not care. Rebecca's parents seem similarly oblivious to the problems that their daughter is experiencing and the fractured relationship that she experiences with her mother is also mentioned, as is the way that sadly, the two women become estranged in later years. Meanwhile, the author herself is not afraid to tell it like it is, often holding herself accountable for various incidents and demonstrating much of her own bad behaviour.
This tale of boarding school is unflinchingly real. Definitely not for the faint of heart. If you want to know what female bullying really looks like, then I highly recommend reading Bad Behaviour.
This review also appears on my blog, Kathryn's Inbox.
June 15, 2015
I received this book for free through Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ First Reads. 3.5 star rating.
This is a powerful memoir about bullying and how early experiences can shape who we become later in life. It's a story about the need to fit in and not be alone, as well as a story about finding yourself and being happy with who you are. This book follows the year Rebecca Starford spent at boarding school in Silver Creek and her experiences and relationships with the staff and the other girls in her house. The book begins with Rebecca travelling alone to Silver Creek as an adult and reliving her time spent at the school. While most of the book focuses on her year at the boarding school, we are also given a peeks into her life after school, including her romantic relationships and her relationship with her family.
I enjoyed this book immensely, but at some points I felt disconnected because of the setting of the book. I'm very much a city girl who doesn't enjoy the outdoors very much, so I didn't particularly connect with the hiking and outdoorsy experiences that Bec described. However, that's only my personal preference and I think other readers who enjoy the outdoors would really love this book.
The writing was brilliant and I could completely understand how Bec felt as a teenager and as an adult reflecting on her experiences. I would feel outraged at some of the injustices, at the way the teachers and staff behaved, and at the rigid and ridiculous Silver Creek rules. Sometimes I would forget that it was a memoir but then it would hit me that most of the things that happened in the book were true. I was, however, a little bit confused about the prologue. There was nothing in the book that linked back to the prologue, which makes it seem like it was there for shock value. If it was there for shock value, I think that's a bit unnecessary and misleading.
I also like all of the Aussie references, but I think it might be difficult for a reader who isn't Australian to follow along without a lot of Googling.
Overall, I thought this book was great in describing boarding school life and sending a message about school bullying. It cast a light on how terrible relationships between females can be. It was a great read that kept me wanting to know what happened next. However, I didn't think it was special enough to warrant a 5 star rating. My rating was also lowered because I couldn't personally connect to the setting and the outdoorsy aspect of the book.
This is a powerful memoir about bullying and how early experiences can shape who we become later in life. It's a story about the need to fit in and not be alone, as well as a story about finding yourself and being happy with who you are. This book follows the year Rebecca Starford spent at boarding school in Silver Creek and her experiences and relationships with the staff and the other girls in her house. The book begins with Rebecca travelling alone to Silver Creek as an adult and reliving her time spent at the school. While most of the book focuses on her year at the boarding school, we are also given a peeks into her life after school, including her romantic relationships and her relationship with her family.
I enjoyed this book immensely, but at some points I felt disconnected because of the setting of the book. I'm very much a city girl who doesn't enjoy the outdoors very much, so I didn't particularly connect with the hiking and outdoorsy experiences that Bec described. However, that's only my personal preference and I think other readers who enjoy the outdoors would really love this book.
The writing was brilliant and I could completely understand how Bec felt as a teenager and as an adult reflecting on her experiences. I would feel outraged at some of the injustices, at the way the teachers and staff behaved, and at the rigid and ridiculous Silver Creek rules. Sometimes I would forget that it was a memoir but then it would hit me that most of the things that happened in the book were true. I was, however, a little bit confused about the prologue. There was nothing in the book that linked back to the prologue, which makes it seem like it was there for shock value. If it was there for shock value, I think that's a bit unnecessary and misleading.
I also like all of the Aussie references, but I think it might be difficult for a reader who isn't Australian to follow along without a lot of Googling.
Overall, I thought this book was great in describing boarding school life and sending a message about school bullying. It cast a light on how terrible relationships between females can be. It was a great read that kept me wanting to know what happened next. However, I didn't think it was special enough to warrant a 5 star rating. My rating was also lowered because I couldn't personally connect to the setting and the outdoorsy aspect of the book.
January 28, 2015
“Bad Behaviour� is Rebecca Starford’s debut book and memoir. Starford is well-known as the co-founder of the “Kill Your Darlings� journal. She is also a publisher at Affirm Press, a current contributor to “The Age� and “The Australian� newspapers and the former deputy editor of the “Australian Book Review�.
This book is a series of chapters from Starford’s life and it is primarily set in Geelong Grammar School’s Timbertop campus in 1998. In “Bad Behaviour�, Starford is brutally honest as she chronicles the time she spent in boarding school in regional Victoria. It was here that she lived with 14 other teenage girls in a largely unsupervised and occasionally rather dramatic environment.
For Starford, life at Silver Creek started off happily enough after she found herself in a friendship group with the most popular girls in the house. But this circle of friends was also headed by some aggressive bullies who were hell-bent on misbehaving and ignoring the teachers. At first Starford joined in with these disobedient acts because she longed to feel included. But things took a turn for the worse when these queen bees turned around and then started bullying and picking on Rebecca.
This story is told via the use of two main threads, one sees Starford remembering various incidents from her time at Silver Creek. The other is rooted in the present day and examines how this formative year at school affected and shaped her subsequent relationships. It is fascinating to see how a school, which had such utopian aims (for example, to instil confidence and build resilience and independence in its charges) in some cases had the opposite effect, especially on the most socially vulnerable girls who constantly struggled to find their place in the clique.
Rebecca Starford’s writing is very honest and readable but there are moments where the reader is left wanting to know a little bit more detail about the characters involved. This is particularly important in the more current scenes where Rebecca forms new love interests and friends but these are not as fully fleshed out as characters as the ones from when she was a teen. In spite of some minor flaws, “Bad Behaviour� is a good and relatable book that should inspire readers to take stock and consider how their teenage years shaped their adult lives.
This book is a series of chapters from Starford’s life and it is primarily set in Geelong Grammar School’s Timbertop campus in 1998. In “Bad Behaviour�, Starford is brutally honest as she chronicles the time she spent in boarding school in regional Victoria. It was here that she lived with 14 other teenage girls in a largely unsupervised and occasionally rather dramatic environment.
For Starford, life at Silver Creek started off happily enough after she found herself in a friendship group with the most popular girls in the house. But this circle of friends was also headed by some aggressive bullies who were hell-bent on misbehaving and ignoring the teachers. At first Starford joined in with these disobedient acts because she longed to feel included. But things took a turn for the worse when these queen bees turned around and then started bullying and picking on Rebecca.
This story is told via the use of two main threads, one sees Starford remembering various incidents from her time at Silver Creek. The other is rooted in the present day and examines how this formative year at school affected and shaped her subsequent relationships. It is fascinating to see how a school, which had such utopian aims (for example, to instil confidence and build resilience and independence in its charges) in some cases had the opposite effect, especially on the most socially vulnerable girls who constantly struggled to find their place in the clique.
Rebecca Starford’s writing is very honest and readable but there are moments where the reader is left wanting to know a little bit more detail about the characters involved. This is particularly important in the more current scenes where Rebecca forms new love interests and friends but these are not as fully fleshed out as characters as the ones from when she was a teen. In spite of some minor flaws, “Bad Behaviour� is a good and relatable book that should inspire readers to take stock and consider how their teenage years shaped their adult lives.
March 24, 2015
Bad Behaviour is a confrontingly honest memoir about bullying and how the things we go through in our childhood can mark us well into our adult life, shaping who we become.
The whole time I was reading this book I felt anxious and slightly sick. Which sounds terrible, but is actually a huge compliment to Starford's abilities as a writer, perfectly reflecting what her younger self is feeling and going through. The writing in this memoir is flawless, effortlessly drawing us into the mind of the narrator. Even though I couldn't really relate to her experiences (never went to boarding school and was lucky enough to be in a group of thoroughly nice students who never really started bullying), the emotions in this book were something I could sympathise with and were so believable and powerful that they were, for me, one its biggest strengths.
The only bugbears I had about this book were that the ending seemed a bit abrupt. We don't know if the issues are ever truly resolved - but then again, it is a memoir and the author's probably still figuring that out for herself. I found the childhood chapters more interesting than the adult ones, because more things happened in them, but I do think the book is made better by the inclusion of the adult chapters - it makes the significance of the year at Silver Creek much more obvious. The prologue seemed a bit odd to me, floating out of place and not nearly as important as it being the prologue would lead us to believe. Yes, the shock value was good, but it didn't really lead anywhere. The use of pop culture references was a bit too heavy for me ( especially since many of them were before my time and thus were nothing more than words to me) but that's just a style I personally don't like much, I know other people do appreciate it.
Even though memoirs aren't really my thing, overall I thought this was a very good book, well written and engaging, drawing you on even when you almost don't want to know what happens next.
The whole time I was reading this book I felt anxious and slightly sick. Which sounds terrible, but is actually a huge compliment to Starford's abilities as a writer, perfectly reflecting what her younger self is feeling and going through. The writing in this memoir is flawless, effortlessly drawing us into the mind of the narrator. Even though I couldn't really relate to her experiences (never went to boarding school and was lucky enough to be in a group of thoroughly nice students who never really started bullying), the emotions in this book were something I could sympathise with and were so believable and powerful that they were, for me, one its biggest strengths.
The only bugbears I had about this book were that the ending seemed a bit abrupt. We don't know if the issues are ever truly resolved - but then again, it is a memoir and the author's probably still figuring that out for herself. I found the childhood chapters more interesting than the adult ones, because more things happened in them, but I do think the book is made better by the inclusion of the adult chapters - it makes the significance of the year at Silver Creek much more obvious. The prologue seemed a bit odd to me, floating out of place and not nearly as important as it being the prologue would lead us to believe. Yes, the shock value was good, but it didn't really lead anywhere. The use of pop culture references was a bit too heavy for me ( especially since many of them were before my time and thus were nothing more than words to me) but that's just a style I personally don't like much, I know other people do appreciate it.
Even though memoirs aren't really my thing, overall I thought this was a very good book, well written and engaging, drawing you on even when you almost don't want to know what happens next.
January 28, 2019
Fascinating. Bad Behaviour covers Starford's year in an exclusive alternative boarding school in Australia. This was not prep school in the classic sense: students lived together in small groups with minimal supervision, were required to do long runs and hikes (culminating in week-long hikes and a full marathon at the end of the year), and had no phone or computer access on campus. If anything, it feels more like Deep Springs College than like Eton. (Can somebody please write a memoir about Deep Springs? I really want to read it.)
When the year began, Starford thought she'd lucked out on the friend front: the most powerful girl in the dorm took a liking to her. Together they and their friends reigned terror over the rest of the dorm and, sometimes, the rest of the campus. And then the other girl lost interest, and Starford found herself fighting to get back in her good graces. Sometimes the tormenter and sometimes the tormented.
The book is all the more complicated because Starford wasn't solely a victim. Sometimes she portrays herself as hurt and desperate, and sometimes she portrays herself as willing to knock down anyone in her path to stay on top. It's all rather , or (perhaps a better comp for the boarding-school factor) .
I'm less interested in the contemporary story, Starford's coming out and and navigating the shame and hurt she still feels from Silver Creek, but I can see why it's there. The whole thing is messy. Complicated. In a fictional version, we'd know a little more about where the other girls went after their time at Silver Creek, about who they grew up to be, but of course real life isn't always that tidy.
I always like seeing a boarding-school book that doesn't match the standard narrative, and this certainly fit the bill.
When the year began, Starford thought she'd lucked out on the friend front: the most powerful girl in the dorm took a liking to her. Together they and their friends reigned terror over the rest of the dorm and, sometimes, the rest of the campus. And then the other girl lost interest, and Starford found herself fighting to get back in her good graces. Sometimes the tormenter and sometimes the tormented.
The book is all the more complicated because Starford wasn't solely a victim. Sometimes she portrays herself as hurt and desperate, and sometimes she portrays herself as willing to knock down anyone in her path to stay on top. It's all rather , or (perhaps a better comp for the boarding-school factor) .
I'm less interested in the contemporary story, Starford's coming out and and navigating the shame and hurt she still feels from Silver Creek, but I can see why it's there. The whole thing is messy. Complicated. In a fictional version, we'd know a little more about where the other girls went after their time at Silver Creek, about who they grew up to be, but of course real life isn't always that tidy.
I always like seeing a boarding-school book that doesn't match the standard narrative, and this certainly fit the bill.
March 8, 2015
I read Bad Behaviour in two sittings ~ my gauge of a thoroughly entertaining book. I'd been curious to read this memoir on a couple of fronts... To check out the new release that has received so much press, as well as to acquaint myself with a woman who has already made a mark for herself on Melbourne's literary and publishing fronts - a feat I always find impressive, especially with someone so young (more about me than Starford, I'm sure!)
Testimony to my rapid reading, Rebecca Starford's memoir doesn't disappoint. She writes in a style that is highly engaging, making this reader keen to find out what happened next. Her writing is accomplished. Starford, knowing she wanted to 'work with words' studied writing during her degree, securing her first job in the industry - she tells us - before graduating. Such vision is impressive.
So too is her portrayal of bullying and the painful themes of inclusion and exclusion. While not explicitly stated, these themes seem to become templates for Starford's continued fraught relationships into adulthood. Another source of angst is the mother/daughter relationship, a rejection that Starford attributes to her mother's disappointment re her daughter's sexuality - although in my mind the mother always seems to have fallen short in terms of comprehending her daughter's needs and longings.
I wonder how someone feels after exposing themselves so candidly for their own bad behaviour? Towards the end we are told, 'As I have got older, friendship has become less complicated.' This reader hopes this is the case.
Testimony to my rapid reading, Rebecca Starford's memoir doesn't disappoint. She writes in a style that is highly engaging, making this reader keen to find out what happened next. Her writing is accomplished. Starford, knowing she wanted to 'work with words' studied writing during her degree, securing her first job in the industry - she tells us - before graduating. Such vision is impressive.
So too is her portrayal of bullying and the painful themes of inclusion and exclusion. While not explicitly stated, these themes seem to become templates for Starford's continued fraught relationships into adulthood. Another source of angst is the mother/daughter relationship, a rejection that Starford attributes to her mother's disappointment re her daughter's sexuality - although in my mind the mother always seems to have fallen short in terms of comprehending her daughter's needs and longings.
I wonder how someone feels after exposing themselves so candidly for their own bad behaviour? Towards the end we are told, 'As I have got older, friendship has become less complicated.' This reader hopes this is the case.
August 18, 2015
Rebecca Starford was on a scholarship at a Melbourne private school which sent its Year 9 students to its country campus for a year. Starford's memoir tells of the bullying that was rife in the under supervised environment, where misbehaviour was punished by physical activity, and where she found herself weakly doing anything to be accepted as part of the cool group. Mean Girls to the extreme. Starford was also questioning her sexuality but had no one to talk to about this.
I wanted her to gain strength from her school experience but from her later recollections it is obvious she didn't really learn much at all. The happy ending was a long way off (though it seems she has found happiness now). The mistakes she made as a young teenager were repeated In her adulthood.
This memoir is well-written and engaging (though the drama of the opening chapter is a cheap shot) but the story itself frustrated me. Why were the teachers so self absorbed and lacking in people skills (large quantities of alcohol in a teacher's living quarters? What were they up to?)? I guess I wanted a satisfactory conclusion - like a Hollywood movie - where the protagonist learnt to be true to herself and the mean girls learnt the error of their ways and this just doesn't happen in real life.
I wanted her to gain strength from her school experience but from her later recollections it is obvious she didn't really learn much at all. The happy ending was a long way off (though it seems she has found happiness now). The mistakes she made as a young teenager were repeated In her adulthood.
This memoir is well-written and engaging (though the drama of the opening chapter is a cheap shot) but the story itself frustrated me. Why were the teachers so self absorbed and lacking in people skills (large quantities of alcohol in a teacher's living quarters? What were they up to?)? I guess I wanted a satisfactory conclusion - like a Hollywood movie - where the protagonist learnt to be true to herself and the mean girls learnt the error of their ways and this just doesn't happen in real life.
March 21, 2015
Yikes. That was intense. I guess I admired that Rebecca told the story so honestly, not trying to diminish her responsibility in what happened. The bullying was pretty horrific. Also, I was very interested to read her explanations as to why it is that people become complicit in cruel behaviour, even if they don't instigate it. I think everyone eventually gets involved in a situation like this, where one person starts bullying someone and several others go along with it, either through exclusion or subterfuge. We all pick our places in it, and we all live with the consequences. It makes me realise that some people are weak, and they just want to be liked. Difficult for me to respect such people, or even feel much pity for them... I've been the victim of bullying by a group before and I was more bothered by the followers than I was by the ringleader, really. I really think Rebecca has done well to confront this weakness in herself and change it. Respect to her for doing that.
I wonder if any of the other girls from the story will read the book? I would love to hear their take on it. All in all, I enjoyed this book and I will look forward to reading more books by Rebecca.
I wonder if any of the other girls from the story will read the book? I would love to hear their take on it. All in all, I enjoyed this book and I will look forward to reading more books by Rebecca.
May 16, 2015
The true story of Rebecca's journey of self discovery from trying to fit in at an exclusive rural boarding school to understanding and accepting her own sexuality. Bad behaviour deals with everyone's deepest desire - to be accepted. Themes of bullying and being bullied are explored as well as body image and sexuality.
I didn't really like 14 year old Rebecca, but then I don't think she really liked herself at that point either. I could relate to her weaknesses at that age, not having the strength to stand up for a friend. Standing up to bullies is scary.
The writing style was all in the present tense, but flicked back and forth between timelines, which I found a little confusing as it wasn't clearly marked.There were a couple of quotable passages that I related to in particular.
I didn't really like 14 year old Rebecca, but then I don't think she really liked herself at that point either. I could relate to her weaknesses at that age, not having the strength to stand up for a friend. Standing up to bullies is scary.
The writing style was all in the present tense, but flicked back and forth between timelines, which I found a little confusing as it wasn't clearly marked.There were a couple of quotable passages that I related to in particular.
"She's a nice girl, someone I would like to be friends with if I knew how."
"What I'd had with most of my school friends hadn't been friendship at all. That had been the habit of the familiar, the reassurance of the unchanged."
May 13, 2015
the only terrible thing about this book is that it's a true story: the viciousness of the bullying is awful to imagine as anything but fiction.
I read this in almost a single sitting, which is rare for me, because I have the attention span of a goldfish. it's so compelling! it's easy as adults to dismiss the complexity of relationships that are formed between teen girls, but this book captures the intensity and almost desperate addiction to approval from peers as a teenager. it's also a great demonstration of how poorly prepared, tired, or overwhelmed some teachers can be for these sort of situations. I'm sure the rural campus seems like a great idea for schools, but throwing a bunch of 14yo's in the bush and expecting them to become autonomous responsible adults is so wide-eyed and innocent: how did they not predict a bit of Lord of the Flies, even s little bit?!?
really great book. awesome. highly recommend.
I read this in almost a single sitting, which is rare for me, because I have the attention span of a goldfish. it's so compelling! it's easy as adults to dismiss the complexity of relationships that are formed between teen girls, but this book captures the intensity and almost desperate addiction to approval from peers as a teenager. it's also a great demonstration of how poorly prepared, tired, or overwhelmed some teachers can be for these sort of situations. I'm sure the rural campus seems like a great idea for schools, but throwing a bunch of 14yo's in the bush and expecting them to become autonomous responsible adults is so wide-eyed and innocent: how did they not predict a bit of Lord of the Flies, even s little bit?!?
really great book. awesome. highly recommend.
December 17, 2015
Great read! The level of bullying and the strict, disciplinarian environment at this school really shocked me. I was wondering throughout the book whether I would have coped with this environment at the age of 14, and whether I would have acted in the same way as this author did. The author has written a very honest portrayal of the social dynamics at this school and about her role in the bullying that went on in her house at the school. I also enjoyed the scenes about her life when she was older, but it did seem a bit disjointed from the story about her life at boarding school, especially because it was not always obvious at the start of a chapter whether she was talking about her life as an adult or as a high school student. Overall, this book is easy to read, a captivating story, and not too long (only took me two days to finish!).
March 21, 2015
What impressed me most about this disturbing account of bullying was the author's honesty. She didn't paint herself as being one of the 'good guys'but showed herself to be weak and needy. For the most part she was a pack follower but her desperate need to be accepted into the alpha group (who were the instigators of the bullying) lead her into bad behaviour.
Interesting to read about the author as an adult who still needed to be accepted and worried about what others thought of her.
I feel many readers will identify with Rebecca Starford not only with her school experiences but also with her need to be liked.
Ending the book on such a positive note was perfect.
Interesting to read about the author as an adult who still needed to be accepted and worried about what others thought of her.
I feel many readers will identify with Rebecca Starford not only with her school experiences but also with her need to be liked.
Ending the book on such a positive note was perfect.
July 12, 2015
I read this book because I heard a great interview with author, Rebecca Starford, by Richard Fidler on Radio National. I found the stories of her time at boarding school compelling and haunting. What I found most interesting about this memoir is that Rebecca, while not the ringleader, owns up to her role in the bullying culture of the school, a perspective we rarely hear about. By shining a light into the dynamics of teen relationships in the schoolyard, it contributes to our understanding of the problem and onto our own past behaviours which may have also been complicit in this culture.
February 3, 2015
A well written book in a style of writing that is very easy to read, had trouble putting it down until I had finished. Gives a good insight into growing up trying to fit in with others, the bullying that can go on in adolescence and the consequences that it can create into adulthood.
December 31, 2017
The structure of this book prevented me from enjoying it. A memoir about the brutality of boarding school should have been interesting, as I went to boarding school too, and the author certainly didn’t hold back on the truth of bad boarding school experiences, in particular the unique brand of exclusion girls punish one another with, and just how far bullying can go if all the adults around just don’t care. In addition to this, the memoir also documents the author’s journey to discover her own identity and struggle to stop being a follower. She goes between past and present so the reader can see the pain her desire to belong, but also to be herself, presents. While the content is interesting, there really is no narrative structure or resolution, rather lots of VERY detailed retelling of incidents that went nowhere, and then a sudden and abrupt ending. For this reason, I found it difficult to maintain interest in it and found it quite tedious to finish.
August 30, 2021
I probably shouldn’t have read this. Nightmare material. Young people need supervision.
December 18, 2015
Fascinating insight into boarding school life, bullying, the brutality of teenage girls and pack mentality, as well as how these years and experiences can impact on adult life and relationships.
Rebecca bares herself and doesn't shy away from her own bad behaviour, while not seeking sympathy she does leave the reader empathetic towards her actions. It's brilliantly written, and despite the horrors you can't help turning the pages to find out what might happen next.
Rebecca bares herself and doesn't shy away from her own bad behaviour, while not seeking sympathy she does leave the reader empathetic towards her actions. It's brilliantly written, and despite the horrors you can't help turning the pages to find out what might happen next.
February 18, 2015
Boarding schools fascinate me . People I know who had that experience either loved it or were traumatised by it. This is a highly readable account that reminds you all too well that some 14 year old girls can be arseholes. I read in another review that this was based on the author's experience at Timbertop (Geelong Grammar) and whilst I knew of this school, was not aware of the incredibe amount of camping and hiking they participate in. Extreme!!!
October 5, 2015
I enjoyed Rebecca's memoir about bullying and boarding school. Although I found the chapters set in Silver Creek to be slightly mundane and anti-climactic.
I much preferred the chapter's dedicated to her adult life, as she described her experiences of coming out to her family, her relationships and her reflections on her teenage years. For me, as a gay woman living in Melbourne, these sections really resonated with me and I found her authorial voice to be honest and heart-felt.
I much preferred the chapter's dedicated to her adult life, as she described her experiences of coming out to her family, her relationships and her reflections on her teenage years. For me, as a gay woman living in Melbourne, these sections really resonated with me and I found her authorial voice to be honest and heart-felt.
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