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Mars Attacks prose #1

Mars Attacks #1: Martian Deathtrap

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BANNED IN BROOKLYN
In 1962, at the height of the cold war, the Brooklyn-based Topps Chewing Gum Company released a set of trading cards that combined a classic, H.G. Wells-style alien invasion with the graphic atrocities of war. The result were the legendary Mars Attacks cards, and the reaction was immediate.
National Deemed too gruesome for innocent young minds, the cards were quickly suppressed.
But even as they disappeared from the market, their cult status grew. . . and grew. Finally, in 1995, Topps re-released the set, adding new--and equally gruesome--cards. The invasion began anew, leading to comic books, novels, a major motion picture deal (with Tim Burton directing), and other insidious means by which the Martian wave would spread across the land.
Martian Deathtrap pits a desperate band of human defenders against the merciless interplanetary invaders. The battleground is a huge mansion filled with trapdoors, secret passages, giant insects, and death lurking around every corner. For the Martians, their mission is to secure the captured ground by whatever means necessary. For the humans, the goal is to beat the odds and simply survive.

243 pages, Hardcover

First published April 9, 1996

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Nathan Archer

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5 stars
19 (15%)
4 stars
27 (22%)
3 stars
46 (37%)
2 stars
25 (20%)
1 star
5 (4%)
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
Profile Image for Weathervane.
321 reviews7 followers
August 23, 2009
Awful. The prose is clumsy, the characters... aren't characters, and what's more, the book doesn't even manage to be funny.

When you relate more to the aliens than the humans, something is wrong.

This quote from the book is really all you need to know:

"He led the way through the smoking room and around the corner to the music room. There, he started across the room."
Profile Image for A.J. ✝️.
289 reviews
March 20, 2020
There were things about this book that seemed to contradict the movie, and I was pretty sure I remembered correctly, but I watched my VHS of it just to be sure (yes, you just read 'VHS'). After watching it, I can say that I remembered most of it correctly. This book takes place during the events of the movie, although stuff from the movie is really only mentioned once. At the beginning, people are watching the news of the Martians attacking people at the landing sight. At the very beginning, Bud Garcia is with Lenny, Blitz, Screwy Joe, Nancy, and Marcie. They're bikers. Bud comes to a complete stop because he spots a flying saucer, and asks those with him what kind of plane they think it is. The flying saucer attacks them with the type of laser ray that is seen in the movie, and only Bud, Nancy, and Marcie survive. By coincidence (or otherwise; it's never really specified), they are near the Gelman Mansion where Bud used to work. Once there, they run into one of the tour guides, Steve (it's become something of a museum). Eventually, Betsy and her daughter Katie come into the picture. Already there because of the tour is Tony, Bill, and Tiffany, along with a family comprised of Stan and Susan and their sons, Sid and Bobby. Later, we are introduced to Mark, Brenda, Jennifer, and Stacy. There's also rumored to be a guy named Josè somewhere in the mansion.

Then, there's the Martians. Waxtad Pol (Martian pilot), Tech/Div (squad trooper on their ship), Quisaz Hadrak (squad leader/death squad trooper), Tenzif Kair (squad medic), Slithree Dee, Ghettal Aif, Bindar, Huzi, and Dundat (squad troopers). Gotta hand it to Archer, those names are definitely creative... The King and Queen (unnamed) don't make an appearance in this book, nor do any of the Earthlings from the movie. There really is no way to give a synopsis for this book. It's literally just a survival story. It does not have any side stories like the movie does, nor is there any real character development for any of the characters. This book lost a star from me just for that. This book has gruesome death scenes. In the movie, when the Martian fires on General Casey, a hole just appears in his middle and spreads wider until all that's left is a green skeleton. That's... not what Archer decided to describe. When the Martian kills one person, it's described as a "fiery gush of human flesh" before the Earthling spasms and twitches once more and then is no more. That is just not following what the weapons do in the movie at all. Same thing happens when it happens to other people. At another point, a beetle -- of all things -- is chomping a blonde girl who was only wearing a bikini in half on pages 118 and 119. A beetle. A girl named Stacy is the random victim. Combine that with no character development, and it's hard to be upset about a fictional character's demise.

Archer did add some interesting things to this story. Apparently, the weapons are called KA-77's and have multiple firing settings. I guess this is how Archer explained away the difference. In the movie, the government had a scientist using some machine to inexplicably translate the Martian language into English when they landed. I was confused to see that Archer had decided to give the Alien's their own ability to translate their language into English, and that Hadrak had been able to take an English course on Mars (page 70). I mean, it's conceivable if they're advanced... Although, if you factor in what happens on page 99, I'm not so sure you could say they're that advanced. The Martians couldn't figure out how to keep a door open as it kept swinging shut.

One of the reasons I re-watched the movie was because at first, I thought of chapter 13 as something out of the original Jumanji movie. I was suspicious about Archer's inspirations for the unusually huge beetles, wasps, mosquitoes, fleas, and spiders, and looked into it. Turns out my suspicions were unfounded... unless that's where the script writers got the idea from. There's a brief scene in the movie where it looks like either Godzilla, or a LARGE gorilla is terrorizing an area. Plus, there's a scene where General Decker gets shrunk by the King. These Martians can apparently do both.

There were sentences in this book that made me raise an eyebrow. I'm going to save the last one for the end of this review.

1.) (Page 12) Tony asks an oddly worded question. That question being: "You think that was the Martians did that?" Either a word is missing or Tony doesn't know how to put grammatical sentences together. I think it's the former because when Bud replies to him, he doesn't point it out.

2.) Oy! (Page 98) Bud, Tiffany, Nancy, and Bill hear an explosion, and Tiffany's first response is: "Is it wasps?" *Facepalm* Gender aside, this human is a complete idiot, LMBO!

3.) (Page 99) Nancy declares that the Martians must have heard the 'Bimbo' scream, referring to Tiffany. This is just great. I haven't heard the word 'bimbo' in the longest time, haha!

4.) adjective: redundant
not or no longer needed or useful; superfluous.
Example: (Found on page 114 of "Mars Attacks: Martian Deathtrap" by Nathan Archer.)
Quote: ("And if they were all that was left, then they needed to get to someplace safer � someplace with more food, fewer giant bugs, and no Martians. Even if they weren't all that was left, they needed to get to someplace with more food, fewer giant bugs, and no Martians." *Facepalm*

Really, I wouldn't say that I disliked this book. I do find myself agreeing with another reviewer when they said that there's something wrong when you find yourself connecting with the aliens more than you do the humans. Really no character in this book was my favorite. I mean, I suppose Katie was the most likable, but her part is very small. Bobby was an idiot, as was Tiffany. The others... well, as I said, you don't really get to know them at all. The author neglected to add anything about them really. Not enough, anyway. Usually stories like these have slow-down scenes where they maybe go get something to eat and talk about life outside of the potentially fatal adventure going on. Why Archer decided to omit these, I'll never know. The movie really is ten times better. I can see where Archer got some of the things he came up with, but still not what their weapons do. He just changed it. There's no way around that. I think the most enjoyable thing about this book was picturing Hadrak and his team, as well as picturing the mansion. The movie makes it pretty clear a little after the dove fiasco that the Martians had planned to attack before even leaving Mars. This book makes it look like it’s just two species feeling threatened by one another. There were a couple funny parts. It's just a survival story without the character development and side stories, so it's basically like Jurassic Park 3... Although, this was better than that travesty. With that being said, I am going to give this only 2 stars, and just end with the 5th thing that made me raise an eyebrow...

5.) (Page 56) Steve was out looking for weapons that they could use to defend themselves, and is eventually hiding from what he believed were the Martians after he heard some noises, and has a halberd axe with him from one of the displays. It says: "...its butt resting on the floor but both his hands gripping the shaft tightly." That's what he said.
Profile Image for Patrick.
140 reviews
March 21, 2020
This book starts out on a road following several bikers. One of which goes by the name of Bud. He and his friends are attacked by a flying saucer, but Bud manages to get away, and goes to Gelman Mansion. A place where, conveniently, he used to work. The house is more like a museum now. It has guided tours that Bud actually used to help give. When he gets there, it's occupied by several people already. There's Steve, one of the tour guides. There's Bobby and Sid; those are two children. There's Susan, Tiffany, Tony, Nancy, Marcie, Stan, and Bill. When Bud finds them, they're all watching the television that is displaying the news about a Martian invasion that has broken out all over the world. I don't want to give away spoilers, but they all end up hiding in a secret room for the majority of the book. All at the same time, there are 7 Martians who are sent by their commanding officer to see if this huge house is a threat to their invasion. Their names are: Quisaz Hadrak, Tenzif Kair, Slithree Dee, Ghettal Aif, Bindar, Huzi, and Dundat.

Now this house is like 6 floors and the Martians don't really have the manpower to search the whole house top to bottom. The Martians were about to leave the house and were actually outside and on their way to the road when these giant insects start attacking that force them to return to the house. Funnily enough, these insects were genetically mutated to be bigger by them. Now the story turns to a story of survival. Neither the human beings or the Martians have the ability to really leave the house. The Martians want to kill the human beings in the house and the people just want to live and figure out how to get out. Overall, I enjoyed the book. However, the book lacked substance. All of the characters are flat. You don't learn very much about any of them. It's very hard to relate to any character because of this. When a character dies, both human and Martian alike, it's hard to really feel anything because you don't know anything about their history. The whole story really takes place over the course of a day and night, and it really becomes a question. Can the people in the house find a way to escape without being killed by the Martians or by extension, the very large insects that are outside and some even managing to get into the house.

I would give this 3 stars as I enjoyed it, but it does lack substance.
Profile Image for Drewciffer.
15 reviews1 follower
September 8, 2015
This book messed me up as a child...(Given to me by my grandmother [by mistake I'm assuming]) but I LOVED every gruesome detail. Still haunts me to this day, some 15 years since. Whether that's good or not remains to be determined.

I think I may need to track this one down again...

NOT FOR CHILDREN.
5 reviews
January 5, 2021
Bizarre humor, gory deaths, and stupid characters. In other words, a classic Mars Attacks story. While the prose is occasionally clumsy, the book is an entertaining read from start to finish. Offering a premise that is both interesting and totally independent of the events of the movie, it's clear the book draws heavily on the bizarre 1960s Mars Attacks trading cards. In fact, some scenes are completely lifted from the cards. Martian Deathtrap is a rollicking adventure that more than makes up for what it lacks in character development with unusual action sequences, and quirky scenes written from the perspective of the evil Martians.
295 reviews4 followers
December 22, 2022
I've often described books as looking like pulp but actually being something else, or as elevated pulp. Forget all that - Martian Deathtrap is pure pulp, deliciously so. It was given to me when I was 10 or 11 by an eminent philosopher who had no idea that it was wildly inappropriate, god bless him. I can't claim that Martian Deathtrap is in any way literature, but it is a well-executed thrill ride.

One thing to note is that the Mars Attacks books are only loosely connected to the movie of the same name. They don't even really qualify for an "inspired by" label. Both in terms of continuity and tone, they're completely different - darker but more grounded, and far less comedic.
Profile Image for Liana.
7 reviews12 followers
January 24, 2021
Fun and action packed, I would have enjoyed this a lot more in 5th grade
Profile Image for Navi Pérez.
62 reviews2 followers
January 15, 2022
El libro me gustó bastante, a mi parecer la primera parte fue un poco lenta, pero todo empieza a ponerse interesante apartir de la segunda mitad de la historia.
Profile Image for Dusty.
26 reviews6 followers
December 31, 2021
Dime store trash horror. But that's the assumption when you pick this up right? Author takes his time with boring scenic descriptions, with kills thrown in. Quick flash of the knife. Martians are boring, too human-esque, and take their dreadful time questioning drab furnishings in a confusing mansion. With something as cosmic as an alien invasion, the reader craves the grandiose, not this microcosm of an insignificant house.
Profile Image for M.
142 reviews
April 9, 2020
I LOVED THIS BOOK! The last 2 books I read were 2010: Odyssey Two and A Farewell to Arms. I read all kinds of books, but mostly horror, sci-fi, and literature.

At first I wasn't expecting much (no offense to anyone at all). Cheesy horror and sci-fi is always so appealing to me. I guess bc 1. I get excited that it's another horror book and 2. I always wonder... well, how cheesy CAN it be?

It's always hit or miss. Some cheesy horror books are just so poorly written and unbelievable that it's just a slow cringe throughout the entire book. That's how I thought this book was going to be.

So I start reading it, noticing obvious grammar errors and cliched horror writing. But I continue. And I continue. And continue. Before I know it, I'm sucked in. There's excitement, there's horror, and something new at every turn of the page. And the CHAPTERS are even named so appropriately! I can't remember ever reading a book that each chapter title hits the nail on the head without spoiling everything or being too vague, even when the chapter is over.

So I loved reading this book. The horror was completely over the top. Which is basically saying that it matched EXACTLY the vibe and gore of the original Topps Mars Attacks! trading cards. With images of giant bugs and Martians killing innocent pet dogs, this book CERTAINLY did the brand justice.

I'd LOVE to see this adapted as a movie. You hear that, movie producers?

I also loved the Mars Attacks references - Topps, Gelman (co-creator of the cards). Maybe there were others I missed.

Fun read!
74 reviews
August 18, 2011
Strangely enough a good portion of the book is written from the Martians viewpoint, and the author appears to be attempting to make them out as pitiable characters. These poor little Martians are separated from their allies and must face an unknown and confusing environment all alone.

However, the Martians make it clear that they only reason they are scared is because they are used to having over-whelming force on their side, and if they had it here they would kill and torture for fun, and everyone would be happy. (Or at least, everyone Martian. Everyone else would be dead and tortured.) That's not exactly an attitude that evokes sympathy.

And this is from someone who likes villains and monsters.
Profile Image for Rob Silver.
1 review
May 12, 2011
Was a pretty good book. I first read it awhile before the crappy movie came out. by the book i was expecting alot more from the movie but like all movies they do a crappy job bridging the two. I realy enjoyed the book. kept me in the story and never realy lost me like most books do anymore.
11 reviews
Read
April 6, 2010
i thought this book was going to be good but turned out to be complete bogus. The gore scenes arent that good
Profile Image for Tiberius Bones.
9 reviews2 followers
January 14, 2013
This book is awful, but I really enjoyed as a kid. The nostalgic effect has me eating it three stars, but it only earned two.
Profile Image for Nicholas.
153 reviews1 follower
August 13, 2016
Like the movie, the plot and the setting just don't do justice to the aliens. Despite kooky humor, the novel invokes abject boredom
Profile Image for Greg.
Author1 book1 follower
November 25, 2013
The finest in pulp literature. A cast in the double digits, a crazy mansion with secret passages, aliens shooting people willy-nilly, chainsaws, heads exploding, etc.
Profile Image for Vicki Edwards.
122 reviews10 followers
September 9, 2014
This was actually rather amusing, especially the stupidity of people that was as much in the books as in the movies, a good read. Definitely going to read the next one now.
Profile Image for Richard.
18 reviews4 followers
October 18, 2015
I really enjoyed this book when I read it in middle school.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews

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