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Safety in Numbers: From 56 to 221 Pounds, My Battle with Eating Disorders
Imagine struggling with anorexia for seven years and finding yourself in the hospital weighing 56 pounds at 20 years old. Your parents are planning your funeral, and you are given little chance to live.
Fast-forward one year. You are now 221 pounds and obese.
Safety in Numbers: From 56 to 221 Pounds, My Battle with Eating Disorders is Brittany Burgunder’s raw and captivating memoir of her 10-year battle with three forms of severe eating disorders—anorexia, binge eating, and bulimia. Taken from her extensive journals, she shares her uncensored and disturbing story of fear, sadness, chaos, disbelief and darkness. In the end, though, her first-person account gives a message of hope and triumph.
Safety in Numbers is a brutally honest and unique account highlighting a profound struggle at both ends of the weight spectrum with eating disorders. Brittany’s battle shows that a happy and healthy life is possible no matter how hopeless the situation may seem. It provides a firsthand look into an unthinkable journey that will mesmerize, move, and inspire readers. Ultimately, it is a story of survival and strength—no matter what the struggle.
Fast-forward one year. You are now 221 pounds and obese.
Safety in Numbers: From 56 to 221 Pounds, My Battle with Eating Disorders is Brittany Burgunder’s raw and captivating memoir of her 10-year battle with three forms of severe eating disorders—anorexia, binge eating, and bulimia. Taken from her extensive journals, she shares her uncensored and disturbing story of fear, sadness, chaos, disbelief and darkness. In the end, though, her first-person account gives a message of hope and triumph.
Safety in Numbers is a brutally honest and unique account highlighting a profound struggle at both ends of the weight spectrum with eating disorders. Brittany’s battle shows that a happy and healthy life is possible no matter how hopeless the situation may seem. It provides a firsthand look into an unthinkable journey that will mesmerize, move, and inspire readers. Ultimately, it is a story of survival and strength—no matter what the struggle.
450 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2016
74 people are currently reading
1,155 people want to read
About the author
Brittany Burgunder
1Ìýbook84ÌýfollowersBrittany Burgunder is a certified professional life coach (C.P.C.) specializing in eating disorders. After overcoming her own personal struggles, Brittany became passionate about helping others find their paths toward recovery. She now publicly raises awareness and advocates for those who are navigating the challenges of eating disorders and mental health.
Brittany is an accomplished and bestselling author. Her first book, Safety in Numbers: My Battle with Eating Disorders, was published in 2016. Her story, which is written directly from personal and uncensored journal entries, chronicles her struggles and quest to recover.ÌýBrittany is currently in the process of completing the manuscript for the revised edition ofÌýSafety in Numbers and the sequel, which brings closure to the recovery process using the same intimate style. Brittany regularly publishes articles and blogs and engages with the public in a variety of ways. She strives to be a role model and bring inspiration to those who have lost hope.
Brittany is an accomplished and bestselling author. Her first book, Safety in Numbers: My Battle with Eating Disorders, was published in 2016. Her story, which is written directly from personal and uncensored journal entries, chronicles her struggles and quest to recover.ÌýBrittany is currently in the process of completing the manuscript for the revised edition ofÌýSafety in Numbers and the sequel, which brings closure to the recovery process using the same intimate style. Brittany regularly publishes articles and blogs and engages with the public in a variety of ways. She strives to be a role model and bring inspiration to those who have lost hope.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
November 25, 2017
This is hands down one of the worst things I have ever read. Presented as a memoir, it's actually a book of the author's journal entries written over a period of time she spent struggling with anorexia, then BED, then bulimia. If you want to read the diary of a woman in her early 20s who writes and behaves as if she's not a day older than 12, with most of the entries nothing more than lists of foods she ate, this is the book for you? It was almost a DNF for me, which would've been the first DNF of my life.
The author is self-obsessed while also trying to present this attitude of being self-hating, but no self-hating person braggingly uses the phrase "I was a nationally ranked tennis player!!!" at least 50 times throughout their journals. Like, you're writing a journal for yourself, why are you telling yourself your accomplishments? Unless you're actually writing these journals knowing you want to publish them in which case they become completely disingenuous. Ahem. She is also spoiled and terrible, all of which she blames on her eating disorders. Her obviously filthy rich parents spend literally hundreds of thousands of dollars on treatment whenever she has a whim and feels like going to some ridiculously expensive clinic whether she needs it or not, and the whole time she talks about how awful they were because despite her clearly insanely privileged childhood (she had her own horses lmao) they were just AWFUL PARENTS who GASP had another daughter which took away her alone time with her mom!!! And they traumatized her by taking her to see "The Lion King" when she was seven!!! And her mother didn't always cook dinner!!! These are all of the "childhood triggers" she sobs over while in the same breath she's like "oh the maids are in the kitchen right now, brb gonna go spend $200 on food and then another $250 on a colonic to get rid of it." EVERYONE'S parents took them to "The Lion King" when they were seven because it was a movie for fucking seven-year-olds. Get over it.
She is literally in-fucking-sufferable, the most spoiled and selfish and ungrateful person I have ever come across in my own 20+ year history of eating disorders. I hate people who give the impression that people with eating disorders are so fully taken over by the disease that their entire personality turns them into monsters. Yes, there are struggles with personality changes, but if you're this horrible, it's not the eating disorders, it's you being a fucking spoiled disaster who always gets her own way and needs to grow the fuck up. At one point, when she's 23, she says "I'm back at [whatever eating disorder clinic her parents are spending tens of thousands of dollars to send her to] and I'm happy because people are my age this time, last time it was all adults." You...are...an...adult. This statement literally says everything about who she is and why it's so frustrating to read this as a person who not only had to struggle with these issues, but who did it while living on my own, financially independent in NYC at 19 without the endless resources this bitch had. Getting fired from job after job and having to basically live in someone's closet because it's all you can afford, not being able to get treatment because you have no insurance, dealing with the constant fucked up mentality that limits what you can physically and mentally do but having to force yourself to get out of bed and into the real world because you have no other fucking options. It's literally OFFENSIVE to see this bitch constantly whine about "if I leave this treatment center I'll have nowhere to go and will be homeless!!!!" when in every single instance that she feels like giving up on treatment because the doctors and therapists aren't catering to her every want and desire because she's a spoiled brat (which is literally every single time she's in treatment) her parents come and pick her up and drive her back home to their million dollar home in actual paradise. There are many addicts and mentally ill people WHO ACTUALLY ARE FUCKING HOMELESS and don't have even 1% of these resources, so to see this bitch constantly whine about "being homeless" when her life could not be further from this is unbelievable. She also compares herself to kidnapping victims (?!?!) and at one point just decides she's not really suicidal but "wants attention" so she starts scratching her skin with plastic knives so she can get into a suicide ward at a hospital (lmao okay). I have never hated a person as much as I hate this woman, or at least who this woman was in her journals, and the fact that she chalks all of her trash personality up to "being sick" is offensive and problematic as fuck because I've known people far sicker than her without anything closer to her support system (both financial and communal) and it DOES NOT TURN THEM INTO ASSHOLES. It's literally disgusting to insinuate that eating disorders do this to people. You were a spoiled monster to begin with, and your eating disorder just heightened it.
She says repeatedly throughout her journals that she wants to turn her journals into an "inspirational book that will help millions of people" but...there's no story to it and no inspiration to it. It's merely a collection of journal entries where she's at her worst, many of which are not telling any kind of story because you'll get three months of lists of everything she's eating, and then there will be a three month gap in the entries, and then she jumps into an entirely different part of her life and it just makes no sense. I think the biggest "wtf" is when she's in recovery from anorexia and is like 100 pounds or something while bingeing a lot, and then nothing for three months, and then suddenly she's at a $4k/week fat camp tipping the scales at 221 pounds. Huh? How did we get here? That's the other thing...aside from her food lists and yelling about how TERRIBLE her parents are, there's no emotional connection to anything that's happening. It's all what, but no why, no substance, no breakthrough. I've seen children with more introspection in their writing and insight into themselves. Aside from a lackluster essay at the end about her "recovery" (she's a solid eight months in when she published this so she's clearly an authority figure!!!!) there's absolutely nothing redeeming about her story, or even that links what she went through, how she recovered from it, and how she got her life back.
Basically, this is not a book with an inspirational journey. It's the endless, poorly-written, repetitive ramblings of a basic bitch spoiled adult who has never had anything bad actually happen to her and who has to learn how to grow the fuck up. I hope the person who wrote the journal entries (I refuse to call her an author because she is not one) was able to become happy and healthy and able to appreciate the people in her life who supported her emotionally and financially well into adulthood. I hope she also realizes her insane privilege and and recognizes/stops spreading the misinformation that eating disorders, addiction, and mental illnesses turn people into fuckfaces with total disregard for every other person on the planet. As someone who has struggled for the majority of my life, I do feel some sort of empathy for the mental, physical, and emotional turmoil I know she went through, but as someone who has always held myself responsible for my behavior and my attitude no matter how sick I've been, I have zero compassion for someone this cluelessly terrible.
I did laugh at one point where she's a fully grown adult bitching and whining and throwing a tantrum because her mom is on the phone with her sister who is away at college and she's jealous of the attention she's getting and wants her mom to get off the phone so she can take her to get coffee and she quotes her mom as saying "You make me hate God." I was like same, girl. Same. Seriously, the shit she says about her parents who are clearly just clueless and don't know how to help but are trying their best...when she decides to start bingeing she begins waking her parents up at 3 am every night so they can come watch her and she's like "it's the happiest day of our lives!" Like...what the fuck? I can guarantee you it is far from your parents' happiest day, and you're so fucking lucky they put up with your shit for 10+ years because most parents would not be this forgiving or helpful. I really hope she has been able to broaden her horizons and see how other people live and realize how fucking lucky she was the whole time she was complaining about what a TERRIBLE childhood she had. God, the more I write, the angrier I get. Please, if you read this, don't let this dick influence your opinion on people with eating disorders or mental illnesses. The only people who are this spoiled and awful when sick are the people who start out spoiled and awful. An eating disorder is not an excuse.
The author is self-obsessed while also trying to present this attitude of being self-hating, but no self-hating person braggingly uses the phrase "I was a nationally ranked tennis player!!!" at least 50 times throughout their journals. Like, you're writing a journal for yourself, why are you telling yourself your accomplishments? Unless you're actually writing these journals knowing you want to publish them in which case they become completely disingenuous. Ahem. She is also spoiled and terrible, all of which she blames on her eating disorders. Her obviously filthy rich parents spend literally hundreds of thousands of dollars on treatment whenever she has a whim and feels like going to some ridiculously expensive clinic whether she needs it or not, and the whole time she talks about how awful they were because despite her clearly insanely privileged childhood (she had her own horses lmao) they were just AWFUL PARENTS who GASP had another daughter which took away her alone time with her mom!!! And they traumatized her by taking her to see "The Lion King" when she was seven!!! And her mother didn't always cook dinner!!! These are all of the "childhood triggers" she sobs over while in the same breath she's like "oh the maids are in the kitchen right now, brb gonna go spend $200 on food and then another $250 on a colonic to get rid of it." EVERYONE'S parents took them to "The Lion King" when they were seven because it was a movie for fucking seven-year-olds. Get over it.
She is literally in-fucking-sufferable, the most spoiled and selfish and ungrateful person I have ever come across in my own 20+ year history of eating disorders. I hate people who give the impression that people with eating disorders are so fully taken over by the disease that their entire personality turns them into monsters. Yes, there are struggles with personality changes, but if you're this horrible, it's not the eating disorders, it's you being a fucking spoiled disaster who always gets her own way and needs to grow the fuck up. At one point, when she's 23, she says "I'm back at [whatever eating disorder clinic her parents are spending tens of thousands of dollars to send her to] and I'm happy because people are my age this time, last time it was all adults." You...are...an...adult. This statement literally says everything about who she is and why it's so frustrating to read this as a person who not only had to struggle with these issues, but who did it while living on my own, financially independent in NYC at 19 without the endless resources this bitch had. Getting fired from job after job and having to basically live in someone's closet because it's all you can afford, not being able to get treatment because you have no insurance, dealing with the constant fucked up mentality that limits what you can physically and mentally do but having to force yourself to get out of bed and into the real world because you have no other fucking options. It's literally OFFENSIVE to see this bitch constantly whine about "if I leave this treatment center I'll have nowhere to go and will be homeless!!!!" when in every single instance that she feels like giving up on treatment because the doctors and therapists aren't catering to her every want and desire because she's a spoiled brat (which is literally every single time she's in treatment) her parents come and pick her up and drive her back home to their million dollar home in actual paradise. There are many addicts and mentally ill people WHO ACTUALLY ARE FUCKING HOMELESS and don't have even 1% of these resources, so to see this bitch constantly whine about "being homeless" when her life could not be further from this is unbelievable. She also compares herself to kidnapping victims (?!?!) and at one point just decides she's not really suicidal but "wants attention" so she starts scratching her skin with plastic knives so she can get into a suicide ward at a hospital (lmao okay). I have never hated a person as much as I hate this woman, or at least who this woman was in her journals, and the fact that she chalks all of her trash personality up to "being sick" is offensive and problematic as fuck because I've known people far sicker than her without anything closer to her support system (both financial and communal) and it DOES NOT TURN THEM INTO ASSHOLES. It's literally disgusting to insinuate that eating disorders do this to people. You were a spoiled monster to begin with, and your eating disorder just heightened it.
She says repeatedly throughout her journals that she wants to turn her journals into an "inspirational book that will help millions of people" but...there's no story to it and no inspiration to it. It's merely a collection of journal entries where she's at her worst, many of which are not telling any kind of story because you'll get three months of lists of everything she's eating, and then there will be a three month gap in the entries, and then she jumps into an entirely different part of her life and it just makes no sense. I think the biggest "wtf" is when she's in recovery from anorexia and is like 100 pounds or something while bingeing a lot, and then nothing for three months, and then suddenly she's at a $4k/week fat camp tipping the scales at 221 pounds. Huh? How did we get here? That's the other thing...aside from her food lists and yelling about how TERRIBLE her parents are, there's no emotional connection to anything that's happening. It's all what, but no why, no substance, no breakthrough. I've seen children with more introspection in their writing and insight into themselves. Aside from a lackluster essay at the end about her "recovery" (she's a solid eight months in when she published this so she's clearly an authority figure!!!!) there's absolutely nothing redeeming about her story, or even that links what she went through, how she recovered from it, and how she got her life back.
Basically, this is not a book with an inspirational journey. It's the endless, poorly-written, repetitive ramblings of a basic bitch spoiled adult who has never had anything bad actually happen to her and who has to learn how to grow the fuck up. I hope the person who wrote the journal entries (I refuse to call her an author because she is not one) was able to become happy and healthy and able to appreciate the people in her life who supported her emotionally and financially well into adulthood. I hope she also realizes her insane privilege and and recognizes/stops spreading the misinformation that eating disorders, addiction, and mental illnesses turn people into fuckfaces with total disregard for every other person on the planet. As someone who has struggled for the majority of my life, I do feel some sort of empathy for the mental, physical, and emotional turmoil I know she went through, but as someone who has always held myself responsible for my behavior and my attitude no matter how sick I've been, I have zero compassion for someone this cluelessly terrible.
I did laugh at one point where she's a fully grown adult bitching and whining and throwing a tantrum because her mom is on the phone with her sister who is away at college and she's jealous of the attention she's getting and wants her mom to get off the phone so she can take her to get coffee and she quotes her mom as saying "You make me hate God." I was like same, girl. Same. Seriously, the shit she says about her parents who are clearly just clueless and don't know how to help but are trying their best...when she decides to start bingeing she begins waking her parents up at 3 am every night so they can come watch her and she's like "it's the happiest day of our lives!" Like...what the fuck? I can guarantee you it is far from your parents' happiest day, and you're so fucking lucky they put up with your shit for 10+ years because most parents would not be this forgiving or helpful. I really hope she has been able to broaden her horizons and see how other people live and realize how fucking lucky she was the whole time she was complaining about what a TERRIBLE childhood she had. God, the more I write, the angrier I get. Please, if you read this, don't let this dick influence your opinion on people with eating disorders or mental illnesses. The only people who are this spoiled and awful when sick are the people who start out spoiled and awful. An eating disorder is not an excuse.
May 17, 2016
Bravo! A thousand times Ms. Brittany! Thank you for having the courage, audacity, self-management and selfless pride to share your story. I love this book. You made me think, learn, question myself, my own world. There is addiction in so much of this life. While I may not share your particular addiction, I certainly have my own. You spoke to a common voice, shared your challenges and your learnings. You are a warrior and I will read, read and continue to read. Be blessed & continue to carry the torch!
January 24, 2016
Wow. This is such a courageous and important book. It provides an incredible first-hand account told in real-time that gives a unique perspective on the harrowing depths of desperation wrought by this illness. The diaries are so personal that you can’t help but be drawn into the author’s chaotic world, so ironically based on her need to establish control. I actually couldn’t put it down, wondering all the while how it could possibly end with anything but tragedy. Of course, it doesn’t, and it’s nice to know that there can be light at the end of even the darkest of tunnels. Anyone who has a friend, child or loved one who suffers from an eating disorder can learn so much from this story. My guess is that professionals will find it insightful as well. I must applaud the author for having the nerve to lay herself bare so that others can learn from her experiences. I know that I did.
September 8, 2016
****Warning: This is absolutely not a book for someone recovering****
I dearly wanted to love this book, i wanted to find some inspiring info & inner thoughts etc around how Brittany recovered and i read this while in hospital myself. However this is not a book for those in recovery, it is highly triggering with numbers left right & center with unintentional tips & tricks for how to cheat treatment centres (if your that way inclined, eg very sick in the illness still).
Her story from the description resonated soooo much with me, i had been down to the same weight and then afterwards had struggled with other types of eating disorders similar to binging. This is hard to find in ED books which usually surround either just restrictive AN or bulimia etc so i was SO excited to maybe have someone to relate too, who gets what its like to be in different places with an ed.
In that aspect i wasnt disappointed, it was amaing to read how someone had soooo many of the same thoughts as me, it was like omg someone else has been here etc etc, it was also quite emotional almost to read when she was very physically ill because i had experienced that along with heart failure, so for someone else to have experienced and understand on that level was... special in a way.
However i found this book overall was far too long, in ways i think this was deliberate because by the end i felt i had been there day to day with her and her struggles, but whilst reading it, it drags and feels repetitive.... which an ED is day to day... so im unsure if this was a stroke of brilliance or just chance. It gives a good overview of what living with an ed is like if you dont know anyway, but is repetitive to read if your just reading for enjoyment.
The most disappointing aspect is that there is SO little on her recovery, it was 90% about how she would lose weight, binge, cheat treatment etc etc, if there had been a balance i would have rated this book much higher, without much of a recovery aspect it leaves the book unhelpful for those suffering. I kept reading thinking i would soon get to the more positive aspects but they are left till right at the end and there is very little on how she actually eventually recovered (im still not sure how she did) I didnt expect a step by step or a how to plan, but i wanted to read more about this part of her journey then all the other stuff which is centralized.
In saying this i think Brittany is an absolutely amazing person to reover from what she went through, i know its so hard, im still in the throws of it myself after 10 years... I just wish this book had highlighted more of that then the sick aspect
I dearly wanted to love this book, i wanted to find some inspiring info & inner thoughts etc around how Brittany recovered and i read this while in hospital myself. However this is not a book for those in recovery, it is highly triggering with numbers left right & center with unintentional tips & tricks for how to cheat treatment centres (if your that way inclined, eg very sick in the illness still).
Her story from the description resonated soooo much with me, i had been down to the same weight and then afterwards had struggled with other types of eating disorders similar to binging. This is hard to find in ED books which usually surround either just restrictive AN or bulimia etc so i was SO excited to maybe have someone to relate too, who gets what its like to be in different places with an ed.
In that aspect i wasnt disappointed, it was amaing to read how someone had soooo many of the same thoughts as me, it was like omg someone else has been here etc etc, it was also quite emotional almost to read when she was very physically ill because i had experienced that along with heart failure, so for someone else to have experienced and understand on that level was... special in a way.
However i found this book overall was far too long, in ways i think this was deliberate because by the end i felt i had been there day to day with her and her struggles, but whilst reading it, it drags and feels repetitive.... which an ED is day to day... so im unsure if this was a stroke of brilliance or just chance. It gives a good overview of what living with an ed is like if you dont know anyway, but is repetitive to read if your just reading for enjoyment.
The most disappointing aspect is that there is SO little on her recovery, it was 90% about how she would lose weight, binge, cheat treatment etc etc, if there had been a balance i would have rated this book much higher, without much of a recovery aspect it leaves the book unhelpful for those suffering. I kept reading thinking i would soon get to the more positive aspects but they are left till right at the end and there is very little on how she actually eventually recovered (im still not sure how she did) I didnt expect a step by step or a how to plan, but i wanted to read more about this part of her journey then all the other stuff which is centralized.
In saying this i think Brittany is an absolutely amazing person to reover from what she went through, i know its so hard, im still in the throws of it myself after 10 years... I just wish this book had highlighted more of that then the sick aspect
May 13, 2016
This book is inappropriate and would not be conducive for those recovering from an eating disorder, which I believe is who it is marketed toward.
My full review:
My full review:
September 15, 2022
I used interlibrary loan to borrow this in grad school—I think most of my cohort barely realised that ILL existed, but I regularly had the maximum permitted number of books checked out from across the country. With Safety in Numbers, I got midway through the book...and then accidentally left it in the library, at a computer station, when I was printing something. I let the ILL folks know, and they emailed me when it showed up back in their department so that I could go pick it up. 'Your name looks really familiar,' one of them mused. 'Yes,' I said. 'I check a lot of books out...'
Anyway, back to the point: Safety in Numbers is Burgunder's experience of various eating disorders, or perhaps one eating disorder that took multiple forms. Told in diary format, it's something of a behemoth of a book, clocking in around 450 pages. While it definitely would have benefitted from some editing—it gets very repetitive—and huge parts of it entail numbersnumbersnumbers and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone with a history of an eating disorder or disordered eating, I did appreciate that a significant part of the book talked about bingeing rather than restricting. (Binge eating is more prevalent than anorexia and bulimia combined, but it typically gets much less attention—I suspect because society has fucked-up notions of what matters, and restriction/thinness are seen as appealing/romantic in ways that bingeing/fatness are not.)
But there's so much in here that could use more analysis. This is a major downside of epistolary books written in the moment: unless the author makes a concerted effort to revise, there's likely to be little to no hindsight. There's enough material here that it's sometimes easy to infer analysis anyway, but...just the simple fact that Burgunder went from being in hospital, at death's door, with anorexia (After our stressful talk, I had a bed bath and had a ton of energy! I was even able to wash my face and get up enough energy to cough slightly and blow my nose! (102)) to—in the same year—spending time in multiple weight-loss camps...it shows a terrible, and dangerous, lack of understanding of eating disorders from the people around her. Nobody should ever have signed off on her taking part in weight-loss programmes so soon after (short-term, physical) recovery from anorexia—if I remember correctly, many clinicians will not even diagnose binge eating disorder if it comes within a certain time frame of someone suffering from anorexia, because bingeing can be a very normal part of recovery from anorexia. Burgunder's therapist seems to understand this (Burgunder includes multiple letters from the therapist—e.g., pages 281 and 295—reminding her, gently, that the weight-loss camps are straight-up toxic for someone with an eating disorder), but throughout the book at least it doesn't seem to register for Burgunder.
If you dig, there are important takeaways here: the way anorexia saps you of your energy such that having the energy to 'get in and out of bed and stand up and walk to the bathroom at night without having to be pulled up or without having to raise the head of the hospital type bed' (147) feels like a triumph; the way so many of the medical professionals and paraprofessionals when Burgunder was in hospital were prepared to flush some of Burgunder's lunch down the toilet (127), wait for her to water-load before they recorded her weight (154, 164), etc.; her father's willingness to pay her to binge instead of hiking (204); that her parents sent her to multiple weight-loss programmes so soon after anorexia...some of this speaks so strongly to the lack of education about eating disorders that even medical professionals receive, but it's harder to know what to make of things with the family. Lack of understanding? Desperation? Both? Something else? Definitely a place where backing away from the diary style and including a more recent perspective could have helped.
I don't really have a conclusion here. Neither does the book: by the end she's in a better place, but it's not clear how she got there, nor how sustainable it will be. I understand that this is not the only book that she plans to write, and it'll be interesting to see whether future writings will be able to step further outside the diary format and dig into research and analysis and beyond.
Anyway, back to the point: Safety in Numbers is Burgunder's experience of various eating disorders, or perhaps one eating disorder that took multiple forms. Told in diary format, it's something of a behemoth of a book, clocking in around 450 pages. While it definitely would have benefitted from some editing—it gets very repetitive—and huge parts of it entail numbersnumbersnumbers and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone with a history of an eating disorder or disordered eating, I did appreciate that a significant part of the book talked about bingeing rather than restricting. (Binge eating is more prevalent than anorexia and bulimia combined, but it typically gets much less attention—I suspect because society has fucked-up notions of what matters, and restriction/thinness are seen as appealing/romantic in ways that bingeing/fatness are not.)
But there's so much in here that could use more analysis. This is a major downside of epistolary books written in the moment: unless the author makes a concerted effort to revise, there's likely to be little to no hindsight. There's enough material here that it's sometimes easy to infer analysis anyway, but...just the simple fact that Burgunder went from being in hospital, at death's door, with anorexia (After our stressful talk, I had a bed bath and had a ton of energy! I was even able to wash my face and get up enough energy to cough slightly and blow my nose! (102)) to—in the same year—spending time in multiple weight-loss camps...it shows a terrible, and dangerous, lack of understanding of eating disorders from the people around her. Nobody should ever have signed off on her taking part in weight-loss programmes so soon after (short-term, physical) recovery from anorexia—if I remember correctly, many clinicians will not even diagnose binge eating disorder if it comes within a certain time frame of someone suffering from anorexia, because bingeing can be a very normal part of recovery from anorexia. Burgunder's therapist seems to understand this (Burgunder includes multiple letters from the therapist—e.g., pages 281 and 295—reminding her, gently, that the weight-loss camps are straight-up toxic for someone with an eating disorder), but throughout the book at least it doesn't seem to register for Burgunder.
If you dig, there are important takeaways here: the way anorexia saps you of your energy such that having the energy to 'get in and out of bed and stand up and walk to the bathroom at night without having to be pulled up or without having to raise the head of the hospital type bed' (147) feels like a triumph; the way so many of the medical professionals and paraprofessionals when Burgunder was in hospital were prepared to flush some of Burgunder's lunch down the toilet (127), wait for her to water-load before they recorded her weight (154, 164), etc.; her father's willingness to pay her to binge instead of hiking (204); that her parents sent her to multiple weight-loss programmes so soon after anorexia...some of this speaks so strongly to the lack of education about eating disorders that even medical professionals receive, but it's harder to know what to make of things with the family. Lack of understanding? Desperation? Both? Something else? Definitely a place where backing away from the diary style and including a more recent perspective could have helped.
I don't really have a conclusion here. Neither does the book: by the end she's in a better place, but it's not clear how she got there, nor how sustainable it will be. I understand that this is not the only book that she plans to write, and it'll be interesting to see whether future writings will be able to step further outside the diary format and dig into research and analysis and beyond.
April 23, 2016
This story is riveting! Every psychology/psychiatry professional or college major should read it! It is a true story, an inside look into the mindset of a young girl, Brittany Burgunder, who develops not just one, but over a period of 8-10 years, multiple forms of eating disorders. It is unique in that it is based on the daily journal/diary entries that Brittany kept all during this time. She has been a case study of the lowest weight anorexic to live, at 56 lbs. She then flipped to binge eating and within a year ballooned up to 221 lbs. Then she became a binge eater/laxative abuser. All this time she was in and out of emergency rooms, hospitals, eating disorder clinics, mental health facilities. It’s a story of absolute despair, and the toll this took on the family as well as Brittany. Yet it is also a story of hope, because Brittany is finally able to summon the courage to look deep inside and discover the core issues that have triggered the eating disorders. As Brittany says in her own words, her eating disorders were “merely a coping skill for my real issue, which is the anxiety, depression, and OCD.� Her self-esteem was very low, even though she was a gifted tennis player, horseback rider, and excellent student. You must read to the end of the book because the final chapters are what pull it all together and explain how the process of recovery works, with emphasis on the word “process.� Eating disorders are a symptom of mental health issues, not personal failures. “Wanting recovery, choosing recovery, and achieving recovery takes daily reaffirming and recommitting, but we have to choose it for ourselves because no one else can.� Brittany’s story is brilliantly written, with the wisdom of someone way beyond her years. It’s an inspiring story that has the potential to help many others, both those with eating disorders and their family members who are trying to navigate alongside these stormy seas.
February 19, 2018
This book was written by one of my good friends, a friend I love dearly. This book will make you evaluate your relationship with food. Brittany Burgunder put all of her heart and soul into this book, and you can definitely tell when you read it. Once I picked this book up, I couldn't put it down.
January 8, 2018
I found this book really interesting and repetitive. Repetitive in a good way because it gave an accurate account of how a person living with ED is.
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July 24, 2017I wanted to read this book because eating disorders have always interested me; how they came about in a person's life, how that person was able to overcome it or if they were even able to, and where are they now.
Brittany Burgunder did a fantastic job displaying how hard it was for her in her life to struggle with anorexia as well as binge eating and bulimia. She didn't provide a lot of journal entries about her time being bulimia, however she did struggle with all three disorders.
I think this book is good for people to read to just see how much people can actually struggle when they are fighting a battle against themselves. Burgunder went to so many treatment centers, but none helped her because she wasn't ready to help herself just yet. She really had to come to terms with her disease and accept that it was hiding her anxiety and depression, then she was able to realize what she needed to do to change her life around.
It's so crazy to me that people struggle with this every day and we don't even realize it half of the time because they keep it hidden inside for no one to see.
I thought this was a very interesting read and I'm really glad I got the chance to read it. My library actually didn't have a copy and I recommended that they purchase one because of the importance of the message inside it, and they decided to get it.
This book has a great message in it: to be who you are to the fullest. Don't let things get you down and keep you there. You always need to get back up and keep trying, because what's life without that? Mistakes are bound to happen, positivity and negativity will come and go, but the main thing we all have to remember is that we are not perfect. There is no such thing as perfect. We are all unique in our own ways and we should embrace it as much as we can.
*I will not be giving this book a rating because it is a memoir and I believe that a person's life should not be judged based on a rating.
Brittany Burgunder did a fantastic job displaying how hard it was for her in her life to struggle with anorexia as well as binge eating and bulimia. She didn't provide a lot of journal entries about her time being bulimia, however she did struggle with all three disorders.
I think this book is good for people to read to just see how much people can actually struggle when they are fighting a battle against themselves. Burgunder went to so many treatment centers, but none helped her because she wasn't ready to help herself just yet. She really had to come to terms with her disease and accept that it was hiding her anxiety and depression, then she was able to realize what she needed to do to change her life around.
It's so crazy to me that people struggle with this every day and we don't even realize it half of the time because they keep it hidden inside for no one to see.
I thought this was a very interesting read and I'm really glad I got the chance to read it. My library actually didn't have a copy and I recommended that they purchase one because of the importance of the message inside it, and they decided to get it.
This book has a great message in it: to be who you are to the fullest. Don't let things get you down and keep you there. You always need to get back up and keep trying, because what's life without that? Mistakes are bound to happen, positivity and negativity will come and go, but the main thing we all have to remember is that we are not perfect. There is no such thing as perfect. We are all unique in our own ways and we should embrace it as much as we can.
*I will not be giving this book a rating because it is a memoir and I believe that a person's life should not be judged based on a rating.
April 10, 2016
If You Read "Safety in Numbers: From 56 to 221 Pounds", You Will Be Forever Changed……For The Better, As I Was.
You inspire so many people Brittany. Your story of your incredible battles and struggles with all those labels ascribed to you like “eating disorder, anorexic, depressed, insecure, etc.� told from your journals that you wrote while you were suffering through all this in your just published book, "Safety in Numbers: From 56 to 221 Pounds, My Battle with Eating Disorders -- A Memoir", is a VIVID description of the hell you endured year after year after year.
Your book is the ultimate “insiders view� of what living (and being on the cusp of death more than once) with an eating disorder is really like.
Thank you for your courage in revealing yourself and your story to all of us. The book is a must read even if you dont have or don't know anyone with an eating disorder. It is an eye-, mind- and heart-opening book.
Believe me...If you read "Safety in Numbers: From 56 to 221 Pounds", you will be forever changed……for the better, as I was.
You inspire so many people Brittany. Your story of your incredible battles and struggles with all those labels ascribed to you like “eating disorder, anorexic, depressed, insecure, etc.� told from your journals that you wrote while you were suffering through all this in your just published book, "Safety in Numbers: From 56 to 221 Pounds, My Battle with Eating Disorders -- A Memoir", is a VIVID description of the hell you endured year after year after year.
Your book is the ultimate “insiders view� of what living (and being on the cusp of death more than once) with an eating disorder is really like.
Thank you for your courage in revealing yourself and your story to all of us. The book is a must read even if you dont have or don't know anyone with an eating disorder. It is an eye-, mind- and heart-opening book.
Believe me...If you read "Safety in Numbers: From 56 to 221 Pounds", you will be forever changed……for the better, as I was.
December 10, 2020
Horrendous. The worst eating disorder memoir I have ever read, no competition. It seems the author did nothing but try to stuff as many ED triggers and as much self boasting as possible into one book. The writing is painfully simplistic and repetitive. “I am good at everything and have all this great stuff. My life is miserable� and with that I just saved you several hours of reading. She insists she is the most popular anorexic and she quotes herself at the beginning of each chapter. Nothing meaningful of course, just more useless drivel. I am Very sympathetic to the fact that life with an ED is hard no matter what your circumstances, but this book reads like a how-to guide to worsen your eating disorder. Pretty much next to nothing on her recovery, and everything else is written with the mental/emotional depth of a teaspoon. I am shocked and more than a little disconcerted by the fact that someone like this is trying to coach others with eating disorders. I hesitate to say it, but she really does come across like the Donald Trump of eating disorders.
April 19, 2016
An incredible journey that takes you deep inside the mind of a young woman immersed in an eating disorder. This is the real deal; not the typical after-the-fact account of the struggle. You actually can feel all the emotions -- the love, anger, defiance, kindness, sadness, fear and hope -- that underlie the madness of the illness. You won't be able to stop reading ... and honestly, you will be glad you couldn't because the best comes in the final chapters when the author's underlying beauty finally emerges with inspirational grace and maturity.
July 16, 2017
I wanted to like it. I tried to like it, and to root the author on. Instead, I found the majority of her story tedious, repetitive, self-aggrandizing, and was left with a lot of suspicions about how legitimate her recovery really was/is. Yes, recovery from eating disorders is far from linear and a lot of repetition is usually necessary for anyone going through this incredibly difficult process, but unfortunately it doesn't seem to lend itself well to book form in this case.
September 17, 2017
Amazing Journey, Dull Read
5/5 for her courage on her journey
4/5 for the essay-esque pieces at the end
2/5 for the rest of the book. While relying on journal entries provides a valuable insight into the mind of a person struggling with eating disorders, reading hundreds upon hundreds of pages of diary entries can be a slog.
5/5 for her courage on her journey
4/5 for the essay-esque pieces at the end
2/5 for the rest of the book. While relying on journal entries provides a valuable insight into the mind of a person struggling with eating disorders, reading hundreds upon hundreds of pages of diary entries can be a slog.
September 12, 2023
This is just a pile of journal entries. It's not edited to remove all the harmful weights and measures. Sad to say the author just doesn't seem like a nice human and it was hard to have empathy for her. Surprised this author has so much "ED awareness" clout. I'm perplexed by the positive reviews.
October 7, 2016
Good insight into eating disorder and the life of an anorexic. But it becomes PAINFULLY redundant toward the end. Glad to get that over with. Head is hurting.
April 28, 2019
I wanted to like this book more than I did, but I truly struggled to get through it.
I certainly don't want to discredit the author, but over 300 pages of what seemed like whining was a bit much. I understand that her ED took over her life and did not allow her autonomy, but over 300 pages was a bit much. I think some editing would improve the story.
I'm also confused with the seeming transition between being severely anorexic to binging to fat camp. I feel that could benefit from more development. I have hear the author is under a new book contract to develop this.
Ms. Burgunder, my sincere congrats on reclaiming your life, however. You achieved what many said you couldn't.
I certainly don't want to discredit the author, but over 300 pages of what seemed like whining was a bit much. I understand that her ED took over her life and did not allow her autonomy, but over 300 pages was a bit much. I think some editing would improve the story.
I'm also confused with the seeming transition between being severely anorexic to binging to fat camp. I feel that could benefit from more development. I have hear the author is under a new book contract to develop this.
Ms. Burgunder, my sincere congrats on reclaiming your life, however. You achieved what many said you couldn't.
May 17, 2017
Holy moly, this book gave me all the feels. I originally know Brittany through Instagram when we crossed paths by liking each other's horseback riding photos while we were riding at barns that were down the street from each other. I'm so happy I finally read her book because it resonated with me on so many levels. Her story and journey are phenomenal and incredible and you have no choice but to root for her on every page!!!
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March 3, 2021Great book! This memoir doesn't sugar code anything, it gives a real representation of the struggles of not only eating disorders but life in general which is way better than what I can say about most memoirs. This book is long but so worth the full read. If your going to read it, read cover to cover to get the full experience especially if you are trying to recover from an eating disorder yourself. I recommend this book to everyone!
November 15, 2018
Too much
I really enjoyed at first. Actually enjoyed about 3/4 of the book. There was a lot of wisdom and soul searching while reading this book. I think it went on to long. I feel it was just to much. She could have got away with much less& still conveyed her message. The parts I learned from I really enjoyed.
I really enjoyed at first. Actually enjoyed about 3/4 of the book. There was a lot of wisdom and soul searching while reading this book. I think it went on to long. I feel it was just to much. She could have got away with much less& still conveyed her message. The parts I learned from I really enjoyed.
May 10, 2020
L'auteur nous parle de son passé d'anorexique et de boulimique. On se sent moins seul après la lecture de ce livre et c'est important que certains aient le courage de mettre des mots sur les conditions de vie des personnes atteintes de ces troubles. Je pense que ce livre est utile pour les personnes concernées.
September 7, 2017
Very tough subject to read for any Mom. This is written mostly from her journals. I couldn't put it down as I wanted to see if she was going to get out of this struggle. just wished she would have dug down deeper into her healing process, I felt it was just grazed upon.
May 1, 2022
Very interesting. Very relatable. Made up mostly from her diaries. Went through so much treatment. She is very lucky she had such a supportive family in time, money, emotionally. Most would not be so lucky. B+
May 10, 2017
It is so poorly written I struggled to finish it. Also, she is not qualified to give advice considering where she's at in recovery.
October 4, 2018
One of the worst books I've ever read. Entirely too much bragging from a spoiled brat.
March 10, 2019
Amazing book!
I could not put this book down! Brittany showed her vulnerability and strength in this amazing book. I highly recommend.
I could not put this book down! Brittany showed her vulnerability and strength in this amazing book. I highly recommend.
May 15, 2016
I received a copy of this book from a Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ giveaway.
The book is a memoir/published journal of a young girl battling eating disorders.
I admit that I could not relate at all with Brittany. Different cultures, different habits, different mentality. I cannot imagine something even similar happening in a central-eastern European country. This might be one of the main reasons I did not feel empathy for Brit. The second reason is the absolutely unreasonable attitude of Brittany towards herself and others (especially her family). This often made me put down the book, and take a few days off. Of course, being a journal written during her most difficult times, it is understandable, and reflects the inner struggles and thoughts of Brittany during those times. Shockingly realistic, but nerve-racking nonetheless.
Another thing that made this book rather difficult to read is the length and repetitiveness. Almost 400 pages about being sick, wanting to heal, but not healing, blaming everybody, then blaming herself and so on. And then, in the last few pages the healing just happens. I re-read that part, and couldn't figure out why or how. It was the same repetitive cycle, but this time it worked. After that, a few more pages written after ED was defeated, and that's it. Honestly, I felt like I was stolen an ending - an explanation, a mind-blowing revelation or something.
Putting all these things aside: the book has a very deep meaning to it. Written to help others, full of thought provoking truths - it will affect you even if you don't enjoy every moment of it.
I can only congratulate Brittany. For being able to win the fight against ED, for the courage to publish a book about her struggles, and for her wish to help others.
The book is a memoir/published journal of a young girl battling eating disorders.
I admit that I could not relate at all with Brittany. Different cultures, different habits, different mentality. I cannot imagine something even similar happening in a central-eastern European country. This might be one of the main reasons I did not feel empathy for Brit. The second reason is the absolutely unreasonable attitude of Brittany towards herself and others (especially her family). This often made me put down the book, and take a few days off. Of course, being a journal written during her most difficult times, it is understandable, and reflects the inner struggles and thoughts of Brittany during those times. Shockingly realistic, but nerve-racking nonetheless.
Another thing that made this book rather difficult to read is the length and repetitiveness. Almost 400 pages about being sick, wanting to heal, but not healing, blaming everybody, then blaming herself and so on. And then, in the last few pages the healing just happens. I re-read that part, and couldn't figure out why or how. It was the same repetitive cycle, but this time it worked. After that, a few more pages written after ED was defeated, and that's it. Honestly, I felt like I was stolen an ending - an explanation, a mind-blowing revelation or something.
Putting all these things aside: the book has a very deep meaning to it. Written to help others, full of thought provoking truths - it will affect you even if you don't enjoy every moment of it.
I can only congratulate Brittany. For being able to win the fight against ED, for the courage to publish a book about her struggles, and for her wish to help others.
November 1, 2016
As someone whose been on both ends of the disordered eating spectrum, I can relate to the author's struggles. And props to her for her progress and sharing her raw emotions and hellish journey with others. Kudos to Brittany on her progress so far. That said, I can't say this book is helpful or inspirational. Myself and many others don't have the means to battle the disease the same way as Brtittany. Flying off to expensive fat and fitness camps, having money, time, access to the best psychiatrists/psychologists and, most of all, the ability to put life off until we look better or drop a few pounds. I'm not trying to diminish her success in any way but personally, this is where she lost me.
Brittany is extremely lucky to have the parents she has. Yes, an ED makes you irrational, lash out at others due to self hatred, and be extremely selfish. But wow did she come across as a spoiled child. Even in her 20's.
The journal entries are repetitive. And as someone who used to consider other binge eaters amateurs, I was astounded by some of the highly detailed binge eating episodes recorded here. But I digress...
The end felt rushed. Brittany went from being kicked out of a psychiatric/eating disorder facility and self mutiating to losing all the weight and being perfectly happy after 8 months of no binging or laxatives. Tied up a little too neatly for my tastes. How did she get from one end of the spectrum to thee other? What was her thought process, what changed to allow her to recovery? 8 months is progress and congrats to Brittany. But this is a life long struggle, not something you grow out of. I wish her the best.
I didn't find this book as nearly as triggering as say, Wasted, by Marya Hornbacher.
Brittany is extremely lucky to have the parents she has. Yes, an ED makes you irrational, lash out at others due to self hatred, and be extremely selfish. But wow did she come across as a spoiled child. Even in her 20's.
The journal entries are repetitive. And as someone who used to consider other binge eaters amateurs, I was astounded by some of the highly detailed binge eating episodes recorded here. But I digress...
The end felt rushed. Brittany went from being kicked out of a psychiatric/eating disorder facility and self mutiating to losing all the weight and being perfectly happy after 8 months of no binging or laxatives. Tied up a little too neatly for my tastes. How did she get from one end of the spectrum to thee other? What was her thought process, what changed to allow her to recovery? 8 months is progress and congrats to Brittany. But this is a life long struggle, not something you grow out of. I wish her the best.
I didn't find this book as nearly as triggering as say, Wasted, by Marya Hornbacher.
May 18, 2016
This is one of the most powerful and unique memoirs I have ever read (and it seems I have read them all!) I could relate so much to the author and her struggle in a way that no one has ever been able to put to words. For once in my life I didn’t feel alone. This book is hauntingly inspiring and I literally could not stop reading. Burgunder is a hero for courageously publishing such a story and this book should be in the hands of all eating disorder professionals, researchers and schools. It is a book that offers hope for families and clearly compels those who are struggling that recovery is the choice to make. “Safety in Numbers� also portrays eating disorders and the thoughts and behaviors that go along with them so accurately, but without glamorizing the disease, which is a gift.
Burgunder wrote this memoir from her exact diary entries that she kept during her struggle with severe anorexia, binge eating disorder and bulimia. She touches on all aspects of the disease and towards the end of her book, you can see that she understands that her eating disorder was her way to cope with her deeper problems she didn’t want to face. It is written with tremendous wisdom and maturity. This book, although it is a memoir, gives you a firsthand look through the author’s 10-year battle and no other book that I know of has done that. “Safety in Numbers� is filled with every emotion you can imagine and it is a story you don’t just read, but become. It is a memoir that anyone can relate to and take something away from.
Burgunder wrote this memoir from her exact diary entries that she kept during her struggle with severe anorexia, binge eating disorder and bulimia. She touches on all aspects of the disease and towards the end of her book, you can see that she understands that her eating disorder was her way to cope with her deeper problems she didn’t want to face. It is written with tremendous wisdom and maturity. This book, although it is a memoir, gives you a firsthand look through the author’s 10-year battle and no other book that I know of has done that. “Safety in Numbers� is filled with every emotion you can imagine and it is a story you don’t just read, but become. It is a memoir that anyone can relate to and take something away from.
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