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Buffering: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded
The wildly popular YouTube personality and author of the New York Times bestseller My Drunk Kitchen is back! This time, she’s stirring up memories and tales from her past.
By combing through the journals that Hannah has kept for much of her life, this collection of narrative essays delivers a fuller picture of her life, her experiences, and the things she’s figured out about family, faith, love, sexuality, self-worth, friendship and fame.
Revealing what makes Hannah tick, this sometimes cringe-worthy, poignant collection of stories is sure to deliver plenty of Hannah’s wit and wisdom, and hopefully encourage you to try your hand at her patented brand of reckless optimism.
Personal note:
Hello, my darlings! I am incredibly pleased to present BUFFERING: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded!
As a big fan of memoirs, I wanted to try my hand at writing about the events of my life that deserve a little more consideration than can be accomplished in 140-characters or a 6-minute vlog. Now on the cusp of turning 30, I'm ready to expose some parts of my life that I haven't shared before. Before, it was all about privacy, process and time. And now the time has come! I’m ready to put myself out there, for you.
I'm a little nervous about all these vulnerable words going into the world, these tales about my love life, the wrestling I’ve done with faith, how I feel about sex and my family and myself. I’ve had a lot of trials, a lot of errors, but also a lot of passion. Here’s the thing--I've always found comfort in the stories shared by others, so I hope my stories, now that I feel ready to tell them, will bring you some comfort too.
And when you read this book please remember: Buffering is just the time it takes to process.
Enjoy!
Love,
Hannah
By combing through the journals that Hannah has kept for much of her life, this collection of narrative essays delivers a fuller picture of her life, her experiences, and the things she’s figured out about family, faith, love, sexuality, self-worth, friendship and fame.
Revealing what makes Hannah tick, this sometimes cringe-worthy, poignant collection of stories is sure to deliver plenty of Hannah’s wit and wisdom, and hopefully encourage you to try your hand at her patented brand of reckless optimism.
Personal note:
Hello, my darlings! I am incredibly pleased to present BUFFERING: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded!
As a big fan of memoirs, I wanted to try my hand at writing about the events of my life that deserve a little more consideration than can be accomplished in 140-characters or a 6-minute vlog. Now on the cusp of turning 30, I'm ready to expose some parts of my life that I haven't shared before. Before, it was all about privacy, process and time. And now the time has come! I’m ready to put myself out there, for you.
I'm a little nervous about all these vulnerable words going into the world, these tales about my love life, the wrestling I’ve done with faith, how I feel about sex and my family and myself. I’ve had a lot of trials, a lot of errors, but also a lot of passion. Here’s the thing--I've always found comfort in the stories shared by others, so I hope my stories, now that I feel ready to tell them, will bring you some comfort too.
And when you read this book please remember: Buffering is just the time it takes to process.
Enjoy!
Love,
Hannah
272 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 18, 2016
346 people are currently reading
12k people want to read
About the author
Hannah Hart
31books624followersHannah Hart is a Youtuber, comedian, author, actress and somewhat of a chef. Her Youtube channel MyHarto features her weekly My Drunk Kitchen videos. She has also collaborated with a multitude of other Youtubers including her best friends Mamrie Hart and Grace Helbig. Hannah, Grace and Mamrie also co-created the movie Camp Takota where Hannah Hart plays a supporting role of Allison Henry.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,048 reviews
February 14, 2017
Spoiler free review:
This book was so interesting. I admittedly don't watch Hannah's videos all that often. I go in spurts really. But, I found her voice came through so strongly in this book and the story she told was so fascinating. I'll go more into depth in my video review.
*Sent an ARC for review by the publisher*
This book was so interesting. I admittedly don't watch Hannah's videos all that often. I go in spurts really. But, I found her voice came through so strongly in this book and the story she told was so fascinating. I'll go more into depth in my video review.
*Sent an ARC for review by the publisher*
February 10, 2017
When I found out that Hannah was writing a memoir, and that it was full of things she'd never talked about before, I expected saucy tales of her lesbian sexcapades or wild drunken nights or her favorite or least favorite MDK guests, that sort of thing.
What I did not expect was a heartwrenching tale of poverty and suffering and survival perpetrated by her mother's mental illness and the abandonment of family members who simply couldn't deal with it all.
I did not expect stories of adversity and pain, self-harm and self-hatred, homophobia and ultimately, acceptance and love.
This is not a book of puns (well, not entirely) and raucous tales (okay, there are some).
This is a book of strength and love and self-worth.
Hannah Hart has fought, and is still fighting in many ways, incredibly hard for everything she has.
When I found out Hannah was writing a memoir, I did not expect to be so completely humbled and inspired. But there you have it.
What I did not expect was a heartwrenching tale of poverty and suffering and survival perpetrated by her mother's mental illness and the abandonment of family members who simply couldn't deal with it all.
I did not expect stories of adversity and pain, self-harm and self-hatred, homophobia and ultimately, acceptance and love.
This is not a book of puns (well, not entirely) and raucous tales (okay, there are some).
This is a book of strength and love and self-worth.
Hannah Hart has fought, and is still fighting in many ways, incredibly hard for everything she has.
When I found out Hannah was writing a memoir, I did not expect to be so completely humbled and inspired. But there you have it.
August 2, 2018
Buffering is a collection of narrative essays that tell Hannah Hart's stories of pain and joy and discovery. I knew going into this that I was probably going to get to know her really well, and damn am I happy that I was right.
“Selfishly, I wanted to write this to feel less alone. Selflessly, I hope it helps you feel less alone too.�
The ways Hart opened up in this book made me feel so deeply connected that I was kind of scared. Her essays featured a plethora of heavy subjects such as “schizophrenia, sexuality, questions of faith, questions of fame, psychedelic visions in the desert, self-harm, sex, spiders. . . and more!� And it both educated and felt oddly personal to me.
The combination of all of the above left me with a lot on my mind, which is my favorite thing to end up with after finishing a memoir. I seriously cannot stop thinking about everything that went down.
“Are you writing out your feelings?�
“Of course.�
She’s nodding. “That’s what I do when I can’t talk to someone I love.�
When I read what Hannah Hart had to go through as a kid, I just had no idea. She’s been through so much, and I cannot help but admire her reckless optimism. It's truly awe-inspiring.
My favorite essays:
THAT SUMMER FEELING:
This essay described a time when Hart thought of running away from her home. And it left me with chills all over.
“As I left the house, I turned back and waved good-bye to the people inside. That was a habit. Whenever I left the house during the school year, I would pretend to say good-bye to people who weren’t there, just in case someone was watching and tracking my movements. My mom told me that our neighborhood had “prowlers� who would hide behind fences and watch for empty houses.�
I still can't believe a little kid had to have such a terrible thing in mind. It kind of breaks my heart.
But she didn't end up running away because something quite scarring happened instead. My stomach is still in knots because I can't wrap my mind around the fact that people like this next one actually exist.
“Do you know how to get to Howard Street?�
My heart was beating hard in my chest. I was so scared of that man and his truck. I felt the hairs stand up on my arms. They were scared of him, too. I shook my head no.
“Are you sure? I thought it was right around here.�
I was lying. Howard Street was only two blocks from where we were. Maybe I was being paranoid. I thought of my father. He would be ashamed to see me lying to someone. I shouldn’t lie. Lying is sinning. Sinning is wrong. God hates sinners, and I don’t want God to hate me. I spoke and pointed. “It’s that way.�
“Which way?�
I pointed harder. “That way.�
“Listen.� He leaned across his seat and opened his car door. “It’s close, right? Wanna just get in and show me? That would be a big help.�
I can't stop thinking of how startled she must've felt.
“The day I tried to run away was scary, but I did take something positive away from it. After that day I started to walk around the neighborhood more often. It was a great way to pass the time, and I had learned I could trust myself to stay safe and avoid danger. And now, in my adult life, I make it a practice to walk for at least thirty minutes every day. It helps get me out of the house and out of my head.
I also have a visual reminder: a print of Little Red Riding Hood walking through the woods with the wolf.
For me, dealing with depression isn’t about trying to run away from the feeling; it’s about learning to walk alongside it.�
�
KEEPSAKE:
“My mother always told us that there are no bad guys in this story. That things are more complicated than one person who was wrong or one person who was selfish.�
Hart had shared about her little half-sister, Maggie, in the previous essays and I was feeling really invested in her life. I mean, what Maggie went through kind of shattered me... she was just a little kid when she was taken from their house because it wasn't safe.
“After Maggie was removed from our house, the courts said she could go and live with David, her father and my stepdad, as long as he didn’t live with my mother.
For some reason, David didn’t fight for Maggie. He decided to stay with my mother. Maybe he thought Maggie would be better off as far away from both of them as possible. Maybe he didn’t want to abandon my mother because he knew she’d end up homeless if he did. Maybe he wasn’t done trying to get through to her.�
Sometimes it’s just easier to decide that someone is the bad guy. But the truth is never that simple. Hindsight is 20/20. Everyone has a clear view from the rearview mirror.�
That last sentence!!
SHADOWBOXER:
This essay was about Hart realizing and coming to terms with her sexuality.
“The path to accepting your sexuality has to start somewhere. For those who identify as heterosexual, the childhood bliss of an early crush is typically encouraged and praised. Milestones such as your first date and the prom are celebrated by parents and friends.
But when you’re anything other than straight, it’s more complicated; your growth gets shrouded and stunted. That’s why a lot of queer people, when they fall in love and get into a relationship for the first time, revert to a kind of prepubescent puppy love: spontaneous, impulsive, obsessive, and ecstatic. I’ve heard many people express annoyance at friends who “just came out and it’s totally cool and whatever, but do they have to talk about it all the time?� My answer to that is “Yes. Yes, they do. Don’t you remember puppy love? Well, imagine if you had to hide it for twenty years. So yeah, if they wanna gush about it, let them gush. There’s a first time for everything.�
IMPORTANT!!!
The more I read, the more I fell in love with her personality and voice.
BODY LANGUAGE:
“I may not have had lunch money or good hygiene or nice clothes, but I began to realize that I had something else: I was funny. It didn’t matter how I looked or how I dressed as long as I could make people laugh. In sixth grade, a bully at school tried to get everyone to start calling me “pit stain� because of all the, well, yellow pit stains on my T-shirts. Once, when I was wearing one of my favorite shirts, he pointed out that he could “see my titties through my shirt.� I replied blankly, “What titties? Oh. These aren’t titties, I’m just fat.� The whole class laughed because I was very obviously, and unabashedly, chubby and flat-chested. With the laughter from my classmates on my side, I proceeded to point out that the only reason he could see them was because he was so short.�
I know this may seem wrong, but I'm literally cry-laughing at how she got that bully.
Also, her talking about her best friend was THE BEST:
“With thick, dark hair, pale skin, and strong (these days people say “fierce�) eyebrows over piercing green eyes, Rachel was the prettiest girl in whatever room we were in. There was something powerful and passionate about her. I “wasn’t gay� at the time, but boy, was I supergay at the time.�
I was so into her life.
HOCUS FOCUS:
A really important piece on anxiety and managing your time.
“Despite all of this, part of me genuinely believed I could do it all. Because I usually thrived on pressure. In college, I started all of my papers the night before they were due, and I never outlined. My senior thesis (which was a comparative analysis of memory and autobiography!) was written over the course of one panicked day. I never wrote first drafts, everything left the printer as final. I never learned structure or systems to do things differently because up until that point the pressure had worked for me.
Until 2013.�
I love that I now know that you can write a senior thesis in a day... not that that's the recommended way to do it... but just in case.
“I tried exercise as a way of managing my anxiety—walking had always helped me clear my head and was usually a good way to reset my system. That helped, but I couldn’t pick which direction I needed to be pointed in since all my obligations were equally urgent and equally important. And since I was used to getting 100% done at once, these larger products1 that would require multiple drafts and edits and attempts, were my nightmare. I didn’t know how to do things 10�50% at a time. So instead I stayed trapped at 0% checking one project off at a time.
Hard to prioritize when everything feels like a priority.�
She really gets me. It was unbelievably re-invigorating having her describe something I'd been looking to put into words.
(UN)PACKING A PUNCH:
This was a really emotional read that talks about self-harm and also about what happened the day Maggie was removed from their home. And it was consequently my favorite piece.
“As I approached the three steps back to the house, I stopped to pray. I prayed that today would be different. That somehow today, when the cops came, they would stay. That Maggie’s future would be different from mine. That she wouldn’t live in a house with holes in the walls. That I wouldn’t have to keep living with holes in the truth. When I finished my prayer, I saw a police car pull up and a young officer get out. By that point we recognized most of the officers who came to the house, but this guy looked new. There was a sliding glass door between the house and the driveway, and I saw him in the moment I passed it. I didn’t tell anyone what I was doing. I just opened it and walked outside and asked him to stop for a second and told him the truth.
He listened and then called into his radio for social services and more officers. He then moved past me and kept walking toward the front of the house. I felt sad and sick. I had broken the only rule we had. I had betrayed my family.�
My heart is slowly breaking.
“Someone told Maggie to come with them and I went to follow, but a social worker stopped me. Maggie asked if I was coming with her. The social worker stepped between us blocking her from my line of sight. I remember that she was wearing a gray suit. She seemed in control. She turned to me and told me to tell Maggie that we would see each other again in a few days. On Wednesday. I asked her if it was true. She said nothing. But her expression showed I had no choice.
I bent down and hugged Maggie and lied.�
I can imagine this so vividly in my head and it's frightening.
“I didn’t see Maggie again for three weeks. In the foster system, they can’t determine who from the biological family is “good� or “bad,� so the blanket rule is that there is to be no contact between the removed child and relatives. Maggie and I broke the rule by meeting at a Starbucks with the help of her new foster mom. She had radiator burns on her arm. She told me that one of the other kids had pushed her and she had fallen into the radiator. I comforted her as best I could trying not to let my own grief show. We called them tiger marks, and I said she was like a fairy that lived in the jungle.�
I'm literally trying so hard to hold back tears right now.
“I can’t describe what it was like to see my baby sister that day, knowing that she was injured and there was nothing I could do about it, that I would have to send her away again. In many ways, I felt as if Maggie were my child, because I had raised her up until that point. I can’t think about those days without crying. It’s a loss that still feels present even though now I can call Maggie or see her anytime I want. The guilt I feel over that moment—though I know it’s unfounded and there was nothing I could do—still feels like a wound that hasn’t fully healed.�
That hurt is indescribable.
But I'm glad that we got to know that she got adopted by a loving family
“Maggie was placed into the home of a family of a close friend and former boyfriend of mine. The family was kind and open-hearted and doing their best. Eventually, they adopted her and she had her own family and her own journey to begin.�
EPILOGUE:
“Over the past ten years, I’ve processed a lot. I’m still processing. And there is more to be done. But I’m very proud of the person I am today. I’m proud to be gay. I’m proud to be a reckless optimist. I’m proud to keep learning and sharing what I’ve learned. I’m proud to be a work in process.�
Somewhere in this book are all my shattered pieces of heart.
Hannah Hart is my hero right now. She went through so much, and I'm probably still a little shell-shocked. But she seriously deserves the world and so much more. I need more Hart in my heart.
PUN INTENDED.
Also, I love how there were photographs scattered throughout:
(P.S. Her story-time about that last tattoo was the best.)
5/5 stars
*Note: I'm an Amazon Affiliate. If you're interested in buying Buffering, just click on the image below to go through my link. I'll make a small commission!*
Support creators you love. Buy a Coffee for nat (bookspoils) with
“Selfishly, I wanted to write this to feel less alone. Selflessly, I hope it helps you feel less alone too.�
The ways Hart opened up in this book made me feel so deeply connected that I was kind of scared. Her essays featured a plethora of heavy subjects such as “schizophrenia, sexuality, questions of faith, questions of fame, psychedelic visions in the desert, self-harm, sex, spiders. . . and more!� And it both educated and felt oddly personal to me.
The combination of all of the above left me with a lot on my mind, which is my favorite thing to end up with after finishing a memoir. I seriously cannot stop thinking about everything that went down.
“Are you writing out your feelings?�
“Of course.�
She’s nodding. “That’s what I do when I can’t talk to someone I love.�
When I read what Hannah Hart had to go through as a kid, I just had no idea. She’s been through so much, and I cannot help but admire her reckless optimism. It's truly awe-inspiring.
My favorite essays:
THAT SUMMER FEELING:
This essay described a time when Hart thought of running away from her home. And it left me with chills all over.
“As I left the house, I turned back and waved good-bye to the people inside. That was a habit. Whenever I left the house during the school year, I would pretend to say good-bye to people who weren’t there, just in case someone was watching and tracking my movements. My mom told me that our neighborhood had “prowlers� who would hide behind fences and watch for empty houses.�
I still can't believe a little kid had to have such a terrible thing in mind. It kind of breaks my heart.
But she didn't end up running away because something quite scarring happened instead. My stomach is still in knots because I can't wrap my mind around the fact that people like this next one actually exist.
“Do you know how to get to Howard Street?�
My heart was beating hard in my chest. I was so scared of that man and his truck. I felt the hairs stand up on my arms. They were scared of him, too. I shook my head no.
“Are you sure? I thought it was right around here.�
I was lying. Howard Street was only two blocks from where we were. Maybe I was being paranoid. I thought of my father. He would be ashamed to see me lying to someone. I shouldn’t lie. Lying is sinning. Sinning is wrong. God hates sinners, and I don’t want God to hate me. I spoke and pointed. “It’s that way.�
“Which way?�
I pointed harder. “That way.�
“Listen.� He leaned across his seat and opened his car door. “It’s close, right? Wanna just get in and show me? That would be a big help.�
I can't stop thinking of how startled she must've felt.
“The day I tried to run away was scary, but I did take something positive away from it. After that day I started to walk around the neighborhood more often. It was a great way to pass the time, and I had learned I could trust myself to stay safe and avoid danger. And now, in my adult life, I make it a practice to walk for at least thirty minutes every day. It helps get me out of the house and out of my head.
I also have a visual reminder: a print of Little Red Riding Hood walking through the woods with the wolf.
For me, dealing with depression isn’t about trying to run away from the feeling; it’s about learning to walk alongside it.�
�
KEEPSAKE:
“My mother always told us that there are no bad guys in this story. That things are more complicated than one person who was wrong or one person who was selfish.�
Hart had shared about her little half-sister, Maggie, in the previous essays and I was feeling really invested in her life. I mean, what Maggie went through kind of shattered me... she was just a little kid when she was taken from their house because it wasn't safe.
“After Maggie was removed from our house, the courts said she could go and live with David, her father and my stepdad, as long as he didn’t live with my mother.
For some reason, David didn’t fight for Maggie. He decided to stay with my mother. Maybe he thought Maggie would be better off as far away from both of them as possible. Maybe he didn’t want to abandon my mother because he knew she’d end up homeless if he did. Maybe he wasn’t done trying to get through to her.�
Sometimes it’s just easier to decide that someone is the bad guy. But the truth is never that simple. Hindsight is 20/20. Everyone has a clear view from the rearview mirror.�
That last sentence!!
SHADOWBOXER:
This essay was about Hart realizing and coming to terms with her sexuality.
“The path to accepting your sexuality has to start somewhere. For those who identify as heterosexual, the childhood bliss of an early crush is typically encouraged and praised. Milestones such as your first date and the prom are celebrated by parents and friends.
But when you’re anything other than straight, it’s more complicated; your growth gets shrouded and stunted. That’s why a lot of queer people, when they fall in love and get into a relationship for the first time, revert to a kind of prepubescent puppy love: spontaneous, impulsive, obsessive, and ecstatic. I’ve heard many people express annoyance at friends who “just came out and it’s totally cool and whatever, but do they have to talk about it all the time?� My answer to that is “Yes. Yes, they do. Don’t you remember puppy love? Well, imagine if you had to hide it for twenty years. So yeah, if they wanna gush about it, let them gush. There’s a first time for everything.�
IMPORTANT!!!
The more I read, the more I fell in love with her personality and voice.
BODY LANGUAGE:
“I may not have had lunch money or good hygiene or nice clothes, but I began to realize that I had something else: I was funny. It didn’t matter how I looked or how I dressed as long as I could make people laugh. In sixth grade, a bully at school tried to get everyone to start calling me “pit stain� because of all the, well, yellow pit stains on my T-shirts. Once, when I was wearing one of my favorite shirts, he pointed out that he could “see my titties through my shirt.� I replied blankly, “What titties? Oh. These aren’t titties, I’m just fat.� The whole class laughed because I was very obviously, and unabashedly, chubby and flat-chested. With the laughter from my classmates on my side, I proceeded to point out that the only reason he could see them was because he was so short.�
I know this may seem wrong, but I'm literally cry-laughing at how she got that bully.
Also, her talking about her best friend was THE BEST:
“With thick, dark hair, pale skin, and strong (these days people say “fierce�) eyebrows over piercing green eyes, Rachel was the prettiest girl in whatever room we were in. There was something powerful and passionate about her. I “wasn’t gay� at the time, but boy, was I supergay at the time.�
I was so into her life.
HOCUS FOCUS:
A really important piece on anxiety and managing your time.
“Despite all of this, part of me genuinely believed I could do it all. Because I usually thrived on pressure. In college, I started all of my papers the night before they were due, and I never outlined. My senior thesis (which was a comparative analysis of memory and autobiography!) was written over the course of one panicked day. I never wrote first drafts, everything left the printer as final. I never learned structure or systems to do things differently because up until that point the pressure had worked for me.
Until 2013.�
I love that I now know that you can write a senior thesis in a day... not that that's the recommended way to do it... but just in case.
“I tried exercise as a way of managing my anxiety—walking had always helped me clear my head and was usually a good way to reset my system. That helped, but I couldn’t pick which direction I needed to be pointed in since all my obligations were equally urgent and equally important. And since I was used to getting 100% done at once, these larger products1 that would require multiple drafts and edits and attempts, were my nightmare. I didn’t know how to do things 10�50% at a time. So instead I stayed trapped at 0% checking one project off at a time.
Hard to prioritize when everything feels like a priority.�
She really gets me. It was unbelievably re-invigorating having her describe something I'd been looking to put into words.
(UN)PACKING A PUNCH:
This was a really emotional read that talks about self-harm and also about what happened the day Maggie was removed from their home. And it was consequently my favorite piece.
“As I approached the three steps back to the house, I stopped to pray. I prayed that today would be different. That somehow today, when the cops came, they would stay. That Maggie’s future would be different from mine. That she wouldn’t live in a house with holes in the walls. That I wouldn’t have to keep living with holes in the truth. When I finished my prayer, I saw a police car pull up and a young officer get out. By that point we recognized most of the officers who came to the house, but this guy looked new. There was a sliding glass door between the house and the driveway, and I saw him in the moment I passed it. I didn’t tell anyone what I was doing. I just opened it and walked outside and asked him to stop for a second and told him the truth.
He listened and then called into his radio for social services and more officers. He then moved past me and kept walking toward the front of the house. I felt sad and sick. I had broken the only rule we had. I had betrayed my family.�
My heart is slowly breaking.
“Someone told Maggie to come with them and I went to follow, but a social worker stopped me. Maggie asked if I was coming with her. The social worker stepped between us blocking her from my line of sight. I remember that she was wearing a gray suit. She seemed in control. She turned to me and told me to tell Maggie that we would see each other again in a few days. On Wednesday. I asked her if it was true. She said nothing. But her expression showed I had no choice.
I bent down and hugged Maggie and lied.�
I can imagine this so vividly in my head and it's frightening.
“I didn’t see Maggie again for three weeks. In the foster system, they can’t determine who from the biological family is “good� or “bad,� so the blanket rule is that there is to be no contact between the removed child and relatives. Maggie and I broke the rule by meeting at a Starbucks with the help of her new foster mom. She had radiator burns on her arm. She told me that one of the other kids had pushed her and she had fallen into the radiator. I comforted her as best I could trying not to let my own grief show. We called them tiger marks, and I said she was like a fairy that lived in the jungle.�
I'm literally trying so hard to hold back tears right now.
“I can’t describe what it was like to see my baby sister that day, knowing that she was injured and there was nothing I could do about it, that I would have to send her away again. In many ways, I felt as if Maggie were my child, because I had raised her up until that point. I can’t think about those days without crying. It’s a loss that still feels present even though now I can call Maggie or see her anytime I want. The guilt I feel over that moment—though I know it’s unfounded and there was nothing I could do—still feels like a wound that hasn’t fully healed.�
That hurt is indescribable.
But I'm glad that we got to know that she got adopted by a loving family
“Maggie was placed into the home of a family of a close friend and former boyfriend of mine. The family was kind and open-hearted and doing their best. Eventually, they adopted her and she had her own family and her own journey to begin.�
EPILOGUE:
“Over the past ten years, I’ve processed a lot. I’m still processing. And there is more to be done. But I’m very proud of the person I am today. I’m proud to be gay. I’m proud to be a reckless optimist. I’m proud to keep learning and sharing what I’ve learned. I’m proud to be a work in process.�
Somewhere in this book are all my shattered pieces of heart.
Hannah Hart is my hero right now. She went through so much, and I'm probably still a little shell-shocked. But she seriously deserves the world and so much more. I need more Hart in my heart.
PUN INTENDED.
Also, I love how there were photographs scattered throughout:
(P.S. Her story-time about that last tattoo was the best.)
5/5 stars
*Note: I'm an Amazon Affiliate. If you're interested in buying Buffering, just click on the image below to go through my link. I'll make a small commission!*
Support creators you love. Buy a Coffee for nat (bookspoils) with
February 7, 2017
Honest, thoughtful, funny, and fantastically written. This does not go light on some of the more difficult things that Hannah has dealt with in her life, and some of her experiences especially in regards to her mother were incredibly raw to read emotionally. It was the Hannah that I have loved from her videos, and also another Hannah that I really wanted to know more about. I am so impressed by this book.
December 23, 2016
So I'll be honest and say I had no intention of reading this until I found out it had to deal with her family and the way her mothers mental health issues shaped her childhood and consequently who she is now. I like Hannah Hart, but I don't make it a habit to read most "YouTuber" books, because, well.....you know why. I'm glad I picked this one up though.
It had a lot of depth and served it's intended purpose- gave you a more intimate look into who this person is and how they got here. Unlike a lot of celebrity memoirs, this actually contained things that we didn't already know. It wasn't just pages and pages of her pandering to her fan base. Much respect to her for digging in deep on this one.
It had a lot of depth and served it's intended purpose- gave you a more intimate look into who this person is and how they got here. Unlike a lot of celebrity memoirs, this actually contained things that we didn't already know. It wasn't just pages and pages of her pandering to her fan base. Much respect to her for digging in deep on this one.
February 22, 2017
This book was very open. I appreciate that. A lot of what was said reminded me of my own childhood, of my own response to my upbringing. I don't watch her youtube channel or anything like that. So, I can't promote that in any way. This book was full of emotion and heavy content. I will probably read a few more times later down the road.
Note: I hate audio books and she did a really good job on the narration.
Note: I hate audio books and she did a really good job on the narration.
May 9, 2017
okay. this one is difficult. i LOVE hannah hart with all of my heart-o, so i believe i need to go a bit far afield, before diving into this. if you don't want to deal with any feelings head to the section that has + and - in it and read the bold titles only.
i think it was randy pausch who told a story about his football coach who was pretty tough on him and the coach's assistant said, "that's a good thing [...] when you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you." pausch said about this "you may not want to hear it, but your critics are often the ones telling you they still love you and care about you, and want to make you better." now of course - of COURSE - that is not always true. not every critic "cares about you". but it is true for me. i still think hannah hart is an amazing, kind, funny, and a puppy-like person you can't help but fall in love with because that's just how wonderful she is.
now, some of you will rewind a bit and say "yeah, yeah, sweet talk all you want, but hey, that's a bit harsh, are you saying hannah hart screwed this book up? why give it two stars if you like her so much?" again, bear with me. hannah hart did not "screw this one up" at all. her writing is, at times, excellent. so. here it goes:
-style. i say her writing is "at times" excellent. so what does that mean? well, some of her writing is simply advertisement. it's like someone once said to her "hey, advertisement is important!" and she went with it, and she even advertises her own book, inside her book. like, it's okay, hannah, i am literally holding the book in my hands. i have bought it. i don't need more advertisement for it. i got it. it's all good. we're good, fam. i got the book.
apart from that, it's really a little confusing. some of her writing, some chapters, are incredibly well-written, and i wonder if the reason why not all of them are as excellent, is of a time-related nature. that if she hadn't written it so quickly, it would have been not only "another youtuber biography, albeit contesting an incredibly important societal matter", but potentially a true piece of art, something that goes into history as a classic, you know? it could have been both, and in those few chapters/moments throughout her book that are so well-written, so sincere, so real, she shows us she could absolutely have done it. but some chapters are simply copy-pasted diary-entries, and it's not that they do not fit into the style, rather than what's around them. since hart seems to gloss over these in her usual chipper way, the gap between the heaviness of some of these and her tone are estranging to put it mildly.
-structure in general. why hannah hart did not write three or more books is beyond me. one about her life as a famous youtuber, getting there, the business, a socialite who tried drugs (although that chapter was rather out of place in my opinion, especially since: what was the moral? what was she trying to say? "i tried drugs, it was interesting, let me write about it"? i don't know. she has many very young fans, and i felt like that chapter was handled a little "oh well, drugs are okay for some, it's not for me personally, but let me tell you about how great this one time was except for a little bit at the end that was meh" - without mentioning how many accidents can happen with drugs, or literally any other real connection to the rest of the book? it felt like a filler that wasn't following the common thread of her story at all. and that has nothing to do with the style of writing itself), one about her romantic experiences and one about her childhood and the fight for her mentally ill mother who is trapped, like millions of others, in a system that is working against them.
maybe if she had structured the book into three parts plus a fun part where "casual travel asshole" (btw i agree with and do most of the things in that chapter, great advice for flying) comes in. but the way it was structured, it felt inconsistent and like a ball of "gnyah".
+wlw. has ooey gooey chapter about her first girlfriend which is absolutely heart-warming and poetic and sweet. as a queer person, it's therapy to read a sapphic woman's experience with love.
+it is brave. hannah hart must have gone through so much crazy shit and it is so impressive, inspiring even, to see where she is today. her book sounds sometimes like it's only scratching on the surface of how painful and traumatic her childhood and fight against the system must have been for her.
+the political idea behind. there clearly is a problem with the system and how people handle mental illness nowadays, and not just in america. it is important to have someone speak up about this.
BOTTOM LINE: if you love hannah hart: read the book, it'll give you insight. if you're into fighting the system about mental health: read the last few chapters. but if you're expecting a literary master-piece: wait for her next book, maybe. i really feel like she could get there. it doesn't need much more. maybe just some editing.
ps.: i am so torn about writing this, because i love hannah hart so much, but i also feel like as a literature-student i have a certain obligation to speak my most honest opinion about a literary piece, even if it's not all rosy.
pps.: i keep going back to this and giving it 3 stars and then changing my mind, so please see it as a 2.5, between "it's ok" and "i liked it"
i think it was randy pausch who told a story about his football coach who was pretty tough on him and the coach's assistant said, "that's a good thing [...] when you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you." pausch said about this "you may not want to hear it, but your critics are often the ones telling you they still love you and care about you, and want to make you better." now of course - of COURSE - that is not always true. not every critic "cares about you". but it is true for me. i still think hannah hart is an amazing, kind, funny, and a puppy-like person you can't help but fall in love with because that's just how wonderful she is.
now, some of you will rewind a bit and say "yeah, yeah, sweet talk all you want, but hey, that's a bit harsh, are you saying hannah hart screwed this book up? why give it two stars if you like her so much?" again, bear with me. hannah hart did not "screw this one up" at all. her writing is, at times, excellent. so. here it goes:
-style. i say her writing is "at times" excellent. so what does that mean? well, some of her writing is simply advertisement. it's like someone once said to her "hey, advertisement is important!" and she went with it, and she even advertises her own book, inside her book. like, it's okay, hannah, i am literally holding the book in my hands. i have bought it. i don't need more advertisement for it. i got it. it's all good. we're good, fam. i got the book.
apart from that, it's really a little confusing. some of her writing, some chapters, are incredibly well-written, and i wonder if the reason why not all of them are as excellent, is of a time-related nature. that if she hadn't written it so quickly, it would have been not only "another youtuber biography, albeit contesting an incredibly important societal matter", but potentially a true piece of art, something that goes into history as a classic, you know? it could have been both, and in those few chapters/moments throughout her book that are so well-written, so sincere, so real, she shows us she could absolutely have done it. but some chapters are simply copy-pasted diary-entries, and it's not that they do not fit into the style, rather than what's around them. since hart seems to gloss over these in her usual chipper way, the gap between the heaviness of some of these and her tone are estranging to put it mildly.
-structure in general. why hannah hart did not write three or more books is beyond me. one about her life as a famous youtuber, getting there, the business, a socialite who tried drugs (although that chapter was rather out of place in my opinion, especially since: what was the moral? what was she trying to say? "i tried drugs, it was interesting, let me write about it"? i don't know. she has many very young fans, and i felt like that chapter was handled a little "oh well, drugs are okay for some, it's not for me personally, but let me tell you about how great this one time was except for a little bit at the end that was meh" - without mentioning how many accidents can happen with drugs, or literally any other real connection to the rest of the book? it felt like a filler that wasn't following the common thread of her story at all. and that has nothing to do with the style of writing itself), one about her romantic experiences and one about her childhood and the fight for her mentally ill mother who is trapped, like millions of others, in a system that is working against them.
maybe if she had structured the book into three parts plus a fun part where "casual travel asshole" (btw i agree with and do most of the things in that chapter, great advice for flying) comes in. but the way it was structured, it felt inconsistent and like a ball of "gnyah".
+wlw. has ooey gooey chapter about her first girlfriend which is absolutely heart-warming and poetic and sweet. as a queer person, it's therapy to read a sapphic woman's experience with love.
+it is brave. hannah hart must have gone through so much crazy shit and it is so impressive, inspiring even, to see where she is today. her book sounds sometimes like it's only scratching on the surface of how painful and traumatic her childhood and fight against the system must have been for her.
+the political idea behind. there clearly is a problem with the system and how people handle mental illness nowadays, and not just in america. it is important to have someone speak up about this.
BOTTOM LINE: if you love hannah hart: read the book, it'll give you insight. if you're into fighting the system about mental health: read the last few chapters. but if you're expecting a literary master-piece: wait for her next book, maybe. i really feel like she could get there. it doesn't need much more. maybe just some editing.
ps.: i am so torn about writing this, because i love hannah hart so much, but i also feel like as a literature-student i have a certain obligation to speak my most honest opinion about a literary piece, even if it's not all rosy.
pps.: i keep going back to this and giving it 3 stars and then changing my mind, so please see it as a 2.5, between "it's ok" and "i liked it"
March 31, 2017
I picked up this book at the library because I thought the title was "Suffering," which sounds like something I'd be into. I later realized there was a sticker on the spine covering up a "B" and not an "S."
This is an autobiographical book of a Youtuber named Hannah Hart, who I've never heard of before reading her book. Her content is basically her getting drunk and making stuff in her kitchen. I watched an episode where she tried to make slime, and it wasn't too bad.
The book is kind of a mishmash of life experiences. She was neglected as a child due to her mother suffering from schizophrenia and this has had far-reaching consequences through her adult life. There was also quite a bit of focus on her sexuality; she is gay and had a difficult time coming to terms with that. She is very supportive and encouraging of others; she wants everyone to be successful and happy like her and she is very honest about how advantaged she is in her life.
The most interesting aspect of this book for me was the discussion of what she has done to obtain and LPS conservatorship over her mother, which she accomplished in 2015. Her mother's illness put her and potentially put others at risk as well. Hannah was able to obtain a conservatorship that will enable her to have her mother hospitalized for mental health stabilization and treatment without her mother's consent. It is exceedingly difficult to obtain treatment for people who are very sick and impaired, but who do not want treatment. I like that the author used part of her book to bring this issue to light.
This is an autobiographical book of a Youtuber named Hannah Hart, who I've never heard of before reading her book. Her content is basically her getting drunk and making stuff in her kitchen. I watched an episode where she tried to make slime, and it wasn't too bad.
The book is kind of a mishmash of life experiences. She was neglected as a child due to her mother suffering from schizophrenia and this has had far-reaching consequences through her adult life. There was also quite a bit of focus on her sexuality; she is gay and had a difficult time coming to terms with that. She is very supportive and encouraging of others; she wants everyone to be successful and happy like her and she is very honest about how advantaged she is in her life.
The most interesting aspect of this book for me was the discussion of what she has done to obtain and LPS conservatorship over her mother, which she accomplished in 2015. Her mother's illness put her and potentially put others at risk as well. Hannah was able to obtain a conservatorship that will enable her to have her mother hospitalized for mental health stabilization and treatment without her mother's consent. It is exceedingly difficult to obtain treatment for people who are very sick and impaired, but who do not want treatment. I like that the author used part of her book to bring this issue to light.
February 6, 2017
I shoulda done the audio on this one. I'm so used to hearing Hannah's voice from her own mouth (long time My Drunk Kitchen watcher, since episode 5), I'm sure it would have smoothed over the issues I had with the style this one is written in. It felt simultaneously overwritten and underwritten at various points, like the voice wasn't completely comfortable with itself.
But any issues with the writing aside, it's hard not to get sucked in to Hannah's story. She tells it in a straightforward, unflinching manner, and man, just from watching her videos, you have no idea how rough she had it growing up. Her mother is schizophrenic, her father an emotionally distant Jehovah's Witness, and she grew up in conditions that left her and her older sister with PTSD. The openness she shows in letting us in to these parts of her life—her struggles to accept her sexuality, her mental health, learning to navigate her fame, among other things—shows a tremendous amount of bravery on her part. Or, if not bravery, then strength of will. Certainly it shows that she practices what she preaches. Hiding the bad stuff makes it worse. Bringing it out into the light brings relief.
One of my main complaints with a lot of celebrity memoirs is that there is often no reason the celebrity should actually be writing a memoir, other than to make money. I mean, power to them, I guess, but that's not interesting to me. This isn't one of those memoirs. Hannah has lived enough life for three people twice her age, and she has actual important things to say, even if the way she says them isn't always the most polished or effective.
I would really recommend the audio, though. I checked out a sample of it on Audible, and it was immediately more engaging for me than the hard copy, not least because the hard copy is HEAVY. It was printed on that fancy, glossy paper they used for Amy Poehler's book as well, and it looks high quality, but it is a bit cumbersome. (Not to mention a chunk of pages fell out on me, and it was a brand new book.)
[3.5 stars rounded up]
But any issues with the writing aside, it's hard not to get sucked in to Hannah's story. She tells it in a straightforward, unflinching manner, and man, just from watching her videos, you have no idea how rough she had it growing up. Her mother is schizophrenic, her father an emotionally distant Jehovah's Witness, and she grew up in conditions that left her and her older sister with PTSD. The openness she shows in letting us in to these parts of her life—her struggles to accept her sexuality, her mental health, learning to navigate her fame, among other things—shows a tremendous amount of bravery on her part. Or, if not bravery, then strength of will. Certainly it shows that she practices what she preaches. Hiding the bad stuff makes it worse. Bringing it out into the light brings relief.
One of my main complaints with a lot of celebrity memoirs is that there is often no reason the celebrity should actually be writing a memoir, other than to make money. I mean, power to them, I guess, but that's not interesting to me. This isn't one of those memoirs. Hannah has lived enough life for three people twice her age, and she has actual important things to say, even if the way she says them isn't always the most polished or effective.
I would really recommend the audio, though. I checked out a sample of it on Audible, and it was immediately more engaging for me than the hard copy, not least because the hard copy is HEAVY. It was printed on that fancy, glossy paper they used for Amy Poehler's book as well, and it looks high quality, but it is a bit cumbersome. (Not to mention a chunk of pages fell out on me, and it was a brand new book.)
[3.5 stars rounded up]
October 21, 2016
I've read a fair number of "celebrity" memoirs in the last couple years - including several from well known "online content creators" aka youtubers - but none have measured up to how I connected with this one.
I'm not a youtube fiend - I've never actually "subscribed" to a youtube channel, and I'm probably just outside the target age bracket for a lot of the content - but I do remember Hannah Hart's My Drunk Kitchen from the (relatively) early days of youtube sensations.
Most of these millennial memoir books are inspiring, and interesting, and teach you something about the industry, and perseverance, and gives you a feel for what media and content will look like in the future. That's great - I like that part of it.
But Hannah's book provides a whole lot more. I honestly couldn't put it down. From her struggles with coming out, with adult ADHD, her family history of mental illness, and her struggles to help her Mother stay grounded in reality - I feel like this book floats to the top of the pile. A+ for a solid connection with the reader, and for giving us more than, "I was awkward as a kid, then I started a youtube thing, now I'm hella popular. #celebritynamedrop." Hannah comes across as a real person, talking to other real people, about real things.
I'm not a youtube fiend - I've never actually "subscribed" to a youtube channel, and I'm probably just outside the target age bracket for a lot of the content - but I do remember Hannah Hart's My Drunk Kitchen from the (relatively) early days of youtube sensations.
Most of these millennial memoir books are inspiring, and interesting, and teach you something about the industry, and perseverance, and gives you a feel for what media and content will look like in the future. That's great - I like that part of it.
But Hannah's book provides a whole lot more. I honestly couldn't put it down. From her struggles with coming out, with adult ADHD, her family history of mental illness, and her struggles to help her Mother stay grounded in reality - I feel like this book floats to the top of the pile. A+ for a solid connection with the reader, and for giving us more than, "I was awkward as a kid, then I started a youtube thing, now I'm hella popular. #celebritynamedrop." Hannah comes across as a real person, talking to other real people, about real things.
Read
April 25, 2017This collection of narrative essays explores stories that Hannah has not told on her popular YouTube channels. Hannah, of My Drunk Kitchen fame, writes raw, honest, and heartfelt stories about her childhood and dealing with her mother’s mental illness, her father’s religious stringency, and her own sexuality. This book is a great look into struggles of coming into adulthood, dealing with family, and growing up in a less than perfect environment. I listened to the audio, which is read by the author, and I highly recommend this format because Hannah Hart gives an excellent audio performance.
� Amanda Kay Oaks
from The Best Books We Read In February 2017:
� Amanda Kay Oaks
from The Best Books We Read In February 2017:
July 7, 2019
� Please ignore my rating, as my ratings are more for me than for you. Thank you! �
� Whenever I review, I ask myself the same set of questions, based on my personal standards for novels. I exclude the sections about “characters� and “plot� when reviewing nonfiction, obviously. ;)
� I also talk about the books .
� I make friendships through .
� � � DO I RECOMMEND IT? � � �
Absolutely!
� � � CONTENT WARNINGS � � �
severe mental illness, illness of parent, self-harm, emancipation, coming out, poverty, child protective services, Jehovah's Witnesses, religion, child abuse, etc.
� � � REPRESENTATION � � �
Who does it represent and what did I think of the rep?
Hart is openly gay and has self-harmed and lived in challenging conditions. Her mother experience(s) delusions. As a mental health professional, I thought Hart was extremely respectful of mental health the entire book through. There was even a moment when she said she was not going to describe the way she self-harmed to prevent anyone from reading to starting to use that method. There was a lot of love coming from her regarding mental health concerns. She also calls herself out on her privilege constantly for being white, famous, educated, etc.
� � � READER HEALTH � � �
Did it perpetuate mentally healthy ideals, including being socially just?
Hart appears to try and succeed at being a considerate and healthy person. She admits she wants to be a role model, and based on this book I think she's doing an amazing job. She is also able to speak about intense topics with love, grace, and a bit of comedy when appropriate. It meant the world to me when she pointed out how though her mother is mentally ill, her father's behavior was the behavior that hurt her.
� � � EDUCATION � � �
What else does this work teach the reader? Did it teach me anything I didn't already know? Did it make me think at length about any topics?
I had no idea going into this that it would be such a powerful read. I thought a lot about her experiences and how she responded to the different issues in her life.
� � � WRITING AND STORY-TELLING � � �
What was the writing style like, in terms of grammar, "flow", accessibility, and story-telling?
I've only seen a couple of her videos, but this book was just as delightful as her channel content. She only say what needs to be said, provides constant positivity and care of the reader, and is able to speak in a way that keeps a reader listening.
� � � ENTERTAINMENT & PLEASURE � � �
Was it able to keep my attention? Was it able to entertain me? Did I enjoy reading it? Was I amused?
I was BLOWN AWAY by how much I enjoyed this novel. I went into it thinking it's a fun cash grab written by a delightful person, but I ended up finding a favorite book I'll be recommending for a while!
� Whenever I review, I ask myself the same set of questions, based on my personal standards for novels. I exclude the sections about “characters� and “plot� when reviewing nonfiction, obviously. ;)
� I also talk about the books .
� I make friendships through .
� � � DO I RECOMMEND IT? � � �
Absolutely!
� � � CONTENT WARNINGS � � �
severe mental illness, illness of parent, self-harm, emancipation, coming out, poverty, child protective services, Jehovah's Witnesses, religion, child abuse, etc.
� � � REPRESENTATION � � �
Who does it represent and what did I think of the rep?
Hart is openly gay and has self-harmed and lived in challenging conditions. Her mother experience(s) delusions. As a mental health professional, I thought Hart was extremely respectful of mental health the entire book through. There was even a moment when she said she was not going to describe the way she self-harmed to prevent anyone from reading to starting to use that method. There was a lot of love coming from her regarding mental health concerns. She also calls herself out on her privilege constantly for being white, famous, educated, etc.
� � � READER HEALTH � � �
Did it perpetuate mentally healthy ideals, including being socially just?
Hart appears to try and succeed at being a considerate and healthy person. She admits she wants to be a role model, and based on this book I think she's doing an amazing job. She is also able to speak about intense topics with love, grace, and a bit of comedy when appropriate. It meant the world to me when she pointed out how though her mother is mentally ill, her father's behavior was the behavior that hurt her.
� � � EDUCATION � � �
What else does this work teach the reader? Did it teach me anything I didn't already know? Did it make me think at length about any topics?
I had no idea going into this that it would be such a powerful read. I thought a lot about her experiences and how she responded to the different issues in her life.
� � � WRITING AND STORY-TELLING � � �
What was the writing style like, in terms of grammar, "flow", accessibility, and story-telling?
I've only seen a couple of her videos, but this book was just as delightful as her channel content. She only say what needs to be said, provides constant positivity and care of the reader, and is able to speak in a way that keeps a reader listening.
� � � ENTERTAINMENT & PLEASURE � � �
Was it able to keep my attention? Was it able to entertain me? Did I enjoy reading it? Was I amused?
I was BLOWN AWAY by how much I enjoyed this novel. I went into it thinking it's a fun cash grab written by a delightful person, but I ended up finding a favorite book I'll be recommending for a while!
November 22, 2016
I listened to Hannah read me this book because I wanted to hear one of my favorite youtubers talk to me for 14 hours.
I didn't know going in all the secrets and stories she would tell.
As this child of trauma listened to another tell the stories of the general and the monk I found myself grasping at the hope in her voice. I had to take breaks between listening sessions so my brain could process my own memories that came bursting forth at her words. I am glad I continued.
Hannah Hart is an inspiration to me, way more so than she was when she was just the girl on my computer screen. She told stories of her past that made me sad but just as many of her stories were filled with words of encouragement, hope, perseverance, and were a call to action. She spoke about her friendships and struggles with raw honesty and that is what I loved most.
Buffering is not what I expected, it's much much more, and I will forever be grateful for that.
I didn't know going in all the secrets and stories she would tell.
As this child of trauma listened to another tell the stories of the general and the monk I found myself grasping at the hope in her voice. I had to take breaks between listening sessions so my brain could process my own memories that came bursting forth at her words. I am glad I continued.
Hannah Hart is an inspiration to me, way more so than she was when she was just the girl on my computer screen. She told stories of her past that made me sad but just as many of her stories were filled with words of encouragement, hope, perseverance, and were a call to action. She spoke about her friendships and struggles with raw honesty and that is what I loved most.
Buffering is not what I expected, it's much much more, and I will forever be grateful for that.
November 11, 2016
I always worry when reading celebrity memoirs they're usually full of tales of a "rough life" and woes of the business of their choice. Hannah's book was full of tragic moments but also the magic of hope. The writing is well done, the humor is spot on, but the heart is what makes this book. Hannah lets the reader into some of her darkest moments and shines the light on many issues from coming out of the closet to mental illness. She carries a tone of hope and brightness throughout the entire book, even in the heartbreaking chapters. I'm thoroughly impressed with her storytelling ability, tact, and tenderness. A very well deserved five stars.
August 18, 2017
I'm going to have to DNF this, not because I didn't like it, but I just have too much going on in my own life that it's stressing me out a bit to be reading about other people's problems. I'll finish it up at a later date.
February 22, 2017
3.5 stars
Please support my blog and read my non-spoiler review here:
I’ve been a subscriber of YouTuber Hannah Hart for a few years now, and I decided to pick up her second book, Buffering, after hearing so many good things about it. Buffering is a memoir that features a set of personal essays chronicling Hannah’s life. I highly recommend reading this book if you watch Hannah’s videos regularly, or even just every once in a while. I never could have guessed Hannah’s story, and I’m so glad I got this peek into her life.
I really appreciated Hannah sharing her story in Buffering. I found this book extremely inspirational, as Hannah has gone through some truly horrific things in her life, but she has continued to move forward and persevere. Because Buffering is quite short in length, I will not go into much detail about the essays themselves. However, they cover topics such as family, mental health, sexuality, and more. I can tell Hannah was holding back a lot of detail from the reader, and I hope she will open up even further in the future.
Buffering is the fourth “YouTuber book� that I’ve read, and unfortunately it does contain some of the same writing flaws that I’ve discovered in those other YouTuber books. First, there are many instances of repetition in Buffering. People and places are introduced to the reader multiple times as if they had not yet been mentioned in the book. In addition, there are a few times when the memoir takes a turn and becomes a “how to� advice book instead. I think this is due to online creators being used to speaking directly to their audiences in video form, but it feels out of place in a memoir. I’ve also read several celebrity memoirs in the past, and neither of these scenarios seem to arise in them.
Moreover, I found that Hannah’s writing style was much stronger in the included journal entries than in the actual book. Perhaps this is due to the fact that Hannah is writing the book to her fans, and speaking to them as she would in a YouTube video. I wish we got more of the beautiful and poetic writing of Hannah’s journal entries. Hannah is a very intelligent person, and at times I felt like she wasn’t writing to her full potential.
Nonetheless, I’m glad I read Buffering, as it helped me learn more about Hannah. Not only do I respect and admire her even more than I already did, but this book provided me with more confidence in my own life. I know that it will help many other readers, too. Buffering is an emotional and hopeful read, and I think all of Hannah’s viewers should read it.
Please support my blog and read my non-spoiler review here:
I’ve been a subscriber of YouTuber Hannah Hart for a few years now, and I decided to pick up her second book, Buffering, after hearing so many good things about it. Buffering is a memoir that features a set of personal essays chronicling Hannah’s life. I highly recommend reading this book if you watch Hannah’s videos regularly, or even just every once in a while. I never could have guessed Hannah’s story, and I’m so glad I got this peek into her life.
I really appreciated Hannah sharing her story in Buffering. I found this book extremely inspirational, as Hannah has gone through some truly horrific things in her life, but she has continued to move forward and persevere. Because Buffering is quite short in length, I will not go into much detail about the essays themselves. However, they cover topics such as family, mental health, sexuality, and more. I can tell Hannah was holding back a lot of detail from the reader, and I hope she will open up even further in the future.
Buffering is the fourth “YouTuber book� that I’ve read, and unfortunately it does contain some of the same writing flaws that I’ve discovered in those other YouTuber books. First, there are many instances of repetition in Buffering. People and places are introduced to the reader multiple times as if they had not yet been mentioned in the book. In addition, there are a few times when the memoir takes a turn and becomes a “how to� advice book instead. I think this is due to online creators being used to speaking directly to their audiences in video form, but it feels out of place in a memoir. I’ve also read several celebrity memoirs in the past, and neither of these scenarios seem to arise in them.
Moreover, I found that Hannah’s writing style was much stronger in the included journal entries than in the actual book. Perhaps this is due to the fact that Hannah is writing the book to her fans, and speaking to them as she would in a YouTube video. I wish we got more of the beautiful and poetic writing of Hannah’s journal entries. Hannah is a very intelligent person, and at times I felt like she wasn’t writing to her full potential.
Nonetheless, I’m glad I read Buffering, as it helped me learn more about Hannah. Not only do I respect and admire her even more than I already did, but this book provided me with more confidence in my own life. I know that it will help many other readers, too. Buffering is an emotional and hopeful read, and I think all of Hannah’s viewers should read it.
November 22, 2016
I really enjoyed this. I love how raw and candid she was about her life. I have gained so much more respect for her after hearing about everything she went through as a kid and still deals with today.
March 28, 2017
Absolutely blown away.
August 8, 2017
This book was fantastic. If you're a fan of Hannah Hart, I highly recommend. It was so interesting to be immersed in her background, family history/childhood, & all of her memories.
October 23, 2016
I know it's 3 in the morning.
I was going to wait to finish the book until tomorrow but I couldn't. I was going wait to write my review until tomorrow, but I couldn't. I had to lie on my bed and process for a while, but then I had to grab my laptop and force myself to stay up just a little longer. I don't want these thoughts to drift away.
You and I, we, the community surrounding the bright, shiny vitality of a personality that is Hannah Hart as she presents herself to the world, could never have imagined anything close to a backstory like this. Her belated "coming-out" video a couple of years ago was probably the closest she ever came to revealing the slightest crack in her superhero image, and that was barely a pinpoint on the tip of the iceberg of her incredibly difficult life. I don't want to focus too too much on the actual events of Hannah's life (Hello, that's what the book is for. Read it.) but rather on how deeply I admire her and the incredible strength and courage it took to let it all out into daylight after thirty years of being bottled up (at least in the public view).
I would like to take this opportunity, however, to talk about what a freaking brilliant writer Hannah is, Buffering: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded is equal parts raw, deep, heavy, heartfelt, soul-achingly real, but also wonderfully charming, light, and funny (there are puns. and emojis. and footnotes!!). And the language and detail and word choice and everything is just so precise and fitting--it's a memoir that reads like a gut-wrenching urban fantasy novel, like Charles de Lint but more personal, more impactful because it's real. The way she tells her life story you can see it play out like one of those indy films that leave you with tears choking up your chest and a deep sense of connection with the world. Heck, her old journal entries themselves are poetic and beautiful. Perhaps other people are not as blown away as I was because they have already read My Drunk Kitchen and know her writing style but I haven't and I just can't get enough so I probably will read that at some point.
Speaking of My Drunk Kitchen, Hannah of course mentions her channel and her videos, in particular the drunk cooking show that put her in the spotlight in the first place. Although I knew about her soon after I joined the YouTube audience community (very soon after she started, actually), I avoided watching her videos because I didn't like the idea of someone making light of getting drunk on a regular basis. I think I was watching Grace Helbig first and loved Hannah in her videos, and then I subscribed to Hannah and watched a bunch of her non-Kitchen videos and fell in love with her as a human being, and then sometime in the past year and a half or so I kind of accidentally started watching My Drunk Kitchen and loving it just as much as everything else she does.
Anyway, Hannah talks about specific episodes of My Drunk Kitchen in the first half of Buffering, namely, the very first episode (which has a lovely story behind it and is so true to who Hannah is!), and the special The Burning Man; so I decided to scroll waaaay down through and watch those two episodes to enhance the experience of reading the book. 5 hours later I had watched the first 47 episodes of MyHarto in chronological order and was struggling to decide whether to keep watching or keep reading Buffering. Spoiler alert: I watched 15 more videos, and THEN read the entire rest of Buffering. Hence the being up at 4am still writing this review. Anyway, I'm rambling, which tends to happen when I'm tired. My point is that I am glad I chose to watch all of those videos, because the book was giving me a context, a deeply complex backstory for the Hannah portrayed onscreen all those years ago, and now I am deeply invested in following her video journey all the way through to becoming the Hannah Hart I know and love today. Also, the book explains why Hannah is in a different kitchen nearly every video for the first year or two, which could otherwise be quite puzzling.
Hannah is one of my favourite people in the world. She is one of those strong and humble and honest souls who survive a traumatic past to become a force for good in this world. She is still struggling and learning and processing and growing, and she acknowledges that. I don't know why I was shocked that some of the most terrifying trials outlined in Buffering Hannah was dealing with within this past year--perhaps because I have been following her online presence closely in that time and she is oh-so-good at putting on a cheery face and cracking jokes for the camera. It is hard, apparently, to remember that entertainers aren't just that.
Buffering is another reminder that everyone has their demons, or as I like to put it everyone has their bitterness, and it is often difficult to see from the outside, especially when they are someone you admire. It takes a lot of trust for them to show it to you. And it is amazingly gratifying when they do. Of course as an internet celebrity who is recognized as a positive force in this world, Hannah has a lot of support outside of family and friends, she has this community she can count on to take this gift she has given us and love her 1000 times more for it. But that doesn't mean that opening her heart and soul to us and the world could have been anything less than terrifying. Thank you, Hannah, for sharing your story with us.
PS.
I am a very lucky person who has led a very blessed life. I know nothing really helpful comes of comparing your life to another's, but reading Hannah's story, especially with regard to her mom, has made me that much more grateful for what I had and have. I lost my mom but I had her, whole and complete, for long enough to have had a healthy, fulfilling childhood. As much as I am feeling the power of this story, I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for people reading this book who can relate to Hannah's story directly. I hope that this book serves to educate those who are ignorant and lift up those who are fighting to survive or close to giving up. A reminder to hope, and to practice reckless optimism.
I was going to wait to finish the book until tomorrow but I couldn't. I was going wait to write my review until tomorrow, but I couldn't. I had to lie on my bed and process for a while, but then I had to grab my laptop and force myself to stay up just a little longer. I don't want these thoughts to drift away.
You and I, we, the community surrounding the bright, shiny vitality of a personality that is Hannah Hart as she presents herself to the world, could never have imagined anything close to a backstory like this. Her belated "coming-out" video a couple of years ago was probably the closest she ever came to revealing the slightest crack in her superhero image, and that was barely a pinpoint on the tip of the iceberg of her incredibly difficult life. I don't want to focus too too much on the actual events of Hannah's life (Hello, that's what the book is for. Read it.) but rather on how deeply I admire her and the incredible strength and courage it took to let it all out into daylight after thirty years of being bottled up (at least in the public view).
I would like to take this opportunity, however, to talk about what a freaking brilliant writer Hannah is, Buffering: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded is equal parts raw, deep, heavy, heartfelt, soul-achingly real, but also wonderfully charming, light, and funny (there are puns. and emojis. and footnotes!!). And the language and detail and word choice and everything is just so precise and fitting--it's a memoir that reads like a gut-wrenching urban fantasy novel, like Charles de Lint but more personal, more impactful because it's real. The way she tells her life story you can see it play out like one of those indy films that leave you with tears choking up your chest and a deep sense of connection with the world. Heck, her old journal entries themselves are poetic and beautiful. Perhaps other people are not as blown away as I was because they have already read My Drunk Kitchen and know her writing style but I haven't and I just can't get enough so I probably will read that at some point.
Speaking of My Drunk Kitchen, Hannah of course mentions her channel and her videos, in particular the drunk cooking show that put her in the spotlight in the first place. Although I knew about her soon after I joined the YouTube audience community (very soon after she started, actually), I avoided watching her videos because I didn't like the idea of someone making light of getting drunk on a regular basis. I think I was watching Grace Helbig first and loved Hannah in her videos, and then I subscribed to Hannah and watched a bunch of her non-Kitchen videos and fell in love with her as a human being, and then sometime in the past year and a half or so I kind of accidentally started watching My Drunk Kitchen and loving it just as much as everything else she does.
Anyway, Hannah talks about specific episodes of My Drunk Kitchen in the first half of Buffering, namely, the very first episode (which has a lovely story behind it and is so true to who Hannah is!), and the special The Burning Man; so I decided to scroll waaaay down through and watch those two episodes to enhance the experience of reading the book. 5 hours later I had watched the first 47 episodes of MyHarto in chronological order and was struggling to decide whether to keep watching or keep reading Buffering. Spoiler alert: I watched 15 more videos, and THEN read the entire rest of Buffering. Hence the being up at 4am still writing this review. Anyway, I'm rambling, which tends to happen when I'm tired. My point is that I am glad I chose to watch all of those videos, because the book was giving me a context, a deeply complex backstory for the Hannah portrayed onscreen all those years ago, and now I am deeply invested in following her video journey all the way through to becoming the Hannah Hart I know and love today. Also, the book explains why Hannah is in a different kitchen nearly every video for the first year or two, which could otherwise be quite puzzling.
Hannah is one of my favourite people in the world. She is one of those strong and humble and honest souls who survive a traumatic past to become a force for good in this world. She is still struggling and learning and processing and growing, and she acknowledges that. I don't know why I was shocked that some of the most terrifying trials outlined in Buffering Hannah was dealing with within this past year--perhaps because I have been following her online presence closely in that time and she is oh-so-good at putting on a cheery face and cracking jokes for the camera. It is hard, apparently, to remember that entertainers aren't just that.
Buffering is another reminder that everyone has their demons, or as I like to put it everyone has their bitterness, and it is often difficult to see from the outside, especially when they are someone you admire. It takes a lot of trust for them to show it to you. And it is amazingly gratifying when they do. Of course as an internet celebrity who is recognized as a positive force in this world, Hannah has a lot of support outside of family and friends, she has this community she can count on to take this gift she has given us and love her 1000 times more for it. But that doesn't mean that opening her heart and soul to us and the world could have been anything less than terrifying. Thank you, Hannah, for sharing your story with us.
PS.
I am a very lucky person who has led a very blessed life. I know nothing really helpful comes of comparing your life to another's, but reading Hannah's story, especially with regard to her mom, has made me that much more grateful for what I had and have. I lost my mom but I had her, whole and complete, for long enough to have had a healthy, fulfilling childhood. As much as I am feeling the power of this story, I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for people reading this book who can relate to Hannah's story directly. I hope that this book serves to educate those who are ignorant and lift up those who are fighting to survive or close to giving up. A reminder to hope, and to practice reckless optimism.
January 21, 2018
[Actual Rating: 3.5] I think this book is flawed, with some possibly unnecessary bits and fits of mediocre writing, but there is enough compelling, heartbreaking material that's delivered really well and flares of delightful humor to make this worthwhile for me.
December 21, 2017
I was not prepared for how emotionally vulnerable and deep Hannah went in this book. She went deep into discussions of her grapplings with sexuality, dealings with the mental health of her mother and subsequently her own PTSD and mental health, and challenges with self harm. There were some light hearted memories shared, but this was overall a much more serious memoir.
And I LOVED it. I love this side of Hannah. She definitely shows it in her more chatty videos. If her first book was a perfect physical version of her My Drunk Kitchen episodes, then this book was the perfect physical version of all her self help and advice videos where she cries and I sob along with her. I spent the last third of this book crying, and I am so appreciative that she allowed herself to be this open and vulnerable. This book is amazing.
And I LOVED it. I love this side of Hannah. She definitely shows it in her more chatty videos. If her first book was a perfect physical version of her My Drunk Kitchen episodes, then this book was the perfect physical version of all her self help and advice videos where she cries and I sob along with her. I spent the last third of this book crying, and I am so appreciative that she allowed herself to be this open and vulnerable. This book is amazing.
March 12, 2018
I didn’t know much about Hannah Hart when I started this, but was shocked to find out the history of her family and her mother’s intense battle with schizophrenia. The lessons Hart has learned and her relationship with her sisters as a result will incite an emotional response in even the stoniest of readers.
January 5, 2018
Major trigger warnings for depression, suicide, and self-harm.
I know Hannah has a whole bit at the beginning about trigger warnings, but I cannot stress enough how cautious you should be going into this if those are your triggers. They aren't triggers for me, and I still had an incredibly emotional and uncomfortable reaction to some of the stories she shared about those topics.
I can't not give this 5 stars because I had an incredibly emotional reaction to it. Much more than I ever thought I would. I've been a fan of Hannah Hart for a very long time. I started watching her videos while I was in college and I'll watch whatever she posts now. I've had this sitting on my shelf since it's release, but only just now picked it up because the audiobook was part of one of Audible's sales. It was incredible, wonderful, so much more than ever imagined.
Hannah is funny and her humor comes across very well in this book. She narrates the audiobook herself, so it comes across even better there. But this book is mostly serious. It tells of her life, growing up in a dysfunctional home, basically have to raise herself because her mother suffers from psychosis. Though she's shared a bit of her life online, learning all of this about her made appreciate even more the kind of person she became. I can't even imagine growing up the way she did and still somehow become this incredible YouTube sensation.
Some of the stories were funny, like when she talks about really learning to accept her sexuality and when she shares stories of her friendship with Grace and Mamrie. I can only imagine what a day of just hanging out for them entails and it makes me wish I was part of their friend group. I wish there were more happy stories in this book, but I understand why she needed to share the more serious topics as well. The last essay in the book is about her relationship with her sister and it was definitely my favorite. You should read the book for that part alone.
Be cautious, because it's not an easy read. The chapter where she speaks about her step-sister's suicide made me sob (and I was at work, so it was pretty awkward). Hannah doesn't shy away from the honesty about her own struggles with self-harm and depression. But if you can make it past the hard parts, it really is a worthwhile read. I feel like this book is equal parts full of hope and despair. Hannah's raw honesty feels real and true and exactly how the story needed to be told. This book will definitely stay with me for a long time.
I know Hannah has a whole bit at the beginning about trigger warnings, but I cannot stress enough how cautious you should be going into this if those are your triggers. They aren't triggers for me, and I still had an incredibly emotional and uncomfortable reaction to some of the stories she shared about those topics.
I can't not give this 5 stars because I had an incredibly emotional reaction to it. Much more than I ever thought I would. I've been a fan of Hannah Hart for a very long time. I started watching her videos while I was in college and I'll watch whatever she posts now. I've had this sitting on my shelf since it's release, but only just now picked it up because the audiobook was part of one of Audible's sales. It was incredible, wonderful, so much more than ever imagined.
Hannah is funny and her humor comes across very well in this book. She narrates the audiobook herself, so it comes across even better there. But this book is mostly serious. It tells of her life, growing up in a dysfunctional home, basically have to raise herself because her mother suffers from psychosis. Though she's shared a bit of her life online, learning all of this about her made appreciate even more the kind of person she became. I can't even imagine growing up the way she did and still somehow become this incredible YouTube sensation.
Some of the stories were funny, like when she talks about really learning to accept her sexuality and when she shares stories of her friendship with Grace and Mamrie. I can only imagine what a day of just hanging out for them entails and it makes me wish I was part of their friend group. I wish there were more happy stories in this book, but I understand why she needed to share the more serious topics as well. The last essay in the book is about her relationship with her sister and it was definitely my favorite. You should read the book for that part alone.
Be cautious, because it's not an easy read. The chapter where she speaks about her step-sister's suicide made me sob (and I was at work, so it was pretty awkward). Hannah doesn't shy away from the honesty about her own struggles with self-harm and depression. But if you can make it past the hard parts, it really is a worthwhile read. I feel like this book is equal parts full of hope and despair. Hannah's raw honesty feels real and true and exactly how the story needed to be told. This book will definitely stay with me for a long time.
December 2, 2016
5 out of 5 stars.
This was the perfect book for the time I was reading it. I need/needed to process somethings in my life and getting to read Hannah's essays about her life really clicked with me and helped me process some of them. I don't want to spoil what she wrote because I think it needs to be read and not paraphrased so instead on this review I'm going to share my favorite essays and quotes.
Favorite Essays:
Original Kin
Shadow Boxer
[Un]packing a Punch
Nest
Body Language
Favorite Quotes:
"Somethings take time to process, and one must have healthy boundaries of time and space in place in order to do so...Buffering is that time you spend waiting for hte pixels of your life to crystallize into a clearer picture; it's a time of reflection, a time of pause, a time for regaining your composure or readjusting your course."-page xii
"Selfishly, I wanted to write this to feel less alone. Selflessly, I hope it helps you feel less alone too."-page xiii
"'Are you writing out your feelings?'
'Of course.'
She's nodding. 'That's what I do when I can't talk to someone I love.'"-page 9
"In truth, I wasn't being good out of love or respect for their parenting. I was being good because I was kind of scared of them. Scared and ashamed for being dirty and dumb."-page 23
"Sometimes it's just easier to decide that someone is the bad guy. But te truth is never that simple. Hindsight is 20/20. Everyone has a clear view from the rear view mirror."-page 107
"The guilt I feel over that moment- though I know it's unfounded and there was nothing I could do-still feels like a wound that hasn't fully healed."-page 202
"I met others who'd been through pain and who had come out the other side, and I didn't feel so alone."-page 205
"This was our way of leaving our child selves behind, and buffering into adulthood. Choosing between the pixels we'd like to fully load, and which broken images are better left behind."-page 243
"Over the past ten years, I've processed a lot. I'm still processing. I'm proud to be gay. I'm proud to be a reckless optimist. I'm proud to keep learning and sharing what I've learned. I'm proud to be a work in process."-page 246
Bravo Hannah on another fantastic book and one that will hold a special place in my heart.
This was the perfect book for the time I was reading it. I need/needed to process somethings in my life and getting to read Hannah's essays about her life really clicked with me and helped me process some of them. I don't want to spoil what she wrote because I think it needs to be read and not paraphrased so instead on this review I'm going to share my favorite essays and quotes.
Favorite Essays:
Original Kin
Shadow Boxer
[Un]packing a Punch
Nest
Body Language
Favorite Quotes:
"Somethings take time to process, and one must have healthy boundaries of time and space in place in order to do so...Buffering is that time you spend waiting for hte pixels of your life to crystallize into a clearer picture; it's a time of reflection, a time of pause, a time for regaining your composure or readjusting your course."-page xii
"Selfishly, I wanted to write this to feel less alone. Selflessly, I hope it helps you feel less alone too."-page xiii
"'Are you writing out your feelings?'
'Of course.'
She's nodding. 'That's what I do when I can't talk to someone I love.'"-page 9
"In truth, I wasn't being good out of love or respect for their parenting. I was being good because I was kind of scared of them. Scared and ashamed for being dirty and dumb."-page 23
"Sometimes it's just easier to decide that someone is the bad guy. But te truth is never that simple. Hindsight is 20/20. Everyone has a clear view from the rear view mirror."-page 107
"The guilt I feel over that moment- though I know it's unfounded and there was nothing I could do-still feels like a wound that hasn't fully healed."-page 202
"I met others who'd been through pain and who had come out the other side, and I didn't feel so alone."-page 205
"This was our way of leaving our child selves behind, and buffering into adulthood. Choosing between the pixels we'd like to fully load, and which broken images are better left behind."-page 243
"Over the past ten years, I've processed a lot. I'm still processing. I'm proud to be gay. I'm proud to be a reckless optimist. I'm proud to keep learning and sharing what I've learned. I'm proud to be a work in process."-page 246
Bravo Hannah on another fantastic book and one that will hold a special place in my heart.
October 23, 2017
This book describes the most egregiously awful childhood a person can have--beyond even Dickens's imagination. To have a schizophrenic mother, an absent father, no toilet paper, continual electricity shutoff, and one pair of clothes that you have to wear to school every day until they smell, is more than I can imagine suffering. The fact that she transcended all this to become a popular culture figure with a podcast and tours of cities by the score says a lot about her courage and perseverance. A very revealing narrative. She tells everything about her life, her mental illness, her search for a competent and understanding psychiatrist--she leaves nothing out.
The writing is not fabulous; she doesn't know the difference between singular and plural pronouns, but she makes an admirable effort.
The writing is not fabulous; she doesn't know the difference between singular and plural pronouns, but she makes an admirable effort.
October 20, 2016
I have never been one to binge watch Youtube or watch anything much on Youtube at all, least of all read a book about a Youtuber's life. I have also never been one to read biographies or autobiographies, least of all one about an entertainer. But I am really grateful that I decided to pick this up. No one ever really wants to hear about your tough times or how difficult your life has been. But if anyone ever wanted to hear about it, it would be when written in the form of this book. This book is just so well-written, so deeply genuine and real that you will absolutely not be able to put it down.
Her story is just so engagingly written, that it reads like a fast-paced novel. Often biographies and autobiographies tend to be populated with too much detail and monotonous facts. They feel like fading memories attempted to make more concrete by more noise. They feel like disconnected thoughts. But Hannah writes just so beautifully, every thought and memory wrought together with such continuity and reinforced by years of journaling, that its a delight to read.
It's a wonder that Hannah went through what she did and still came out so full of hope and passion. Her life would have been enough to turn anyone bitter. Schizophrenia, sexuality, faith, fame and self-harm are just some of the things she talks about.
If nothing else, read this book to believe that, you can go through hell and still come out on the other side hopeful and believing in the best in us.
Her story is just so engagingly written, that it reads like a fast-paced novel. Often biographies and autobiographies tend to be populated with too much detail and monotonous facts. They feel like fading memories attempted to make more concrete by more noise. They feel like disconnected thoughts. But Hannah writes just so beautifully, every thought and memory wrought together with such continuity and reinforced by years of journaling, that its a delight to read.
It's a wonder that Hannah went through what she did and still came out so full of hope and passion. Her life would have been enough to turn anyone bitter. Schizophrenia, sexuality, faith, fame and self-harm are just some of the things she talks about.
If nothing else, read this book to believe that, you can go through hell and still come out on the other side hopeful and believing in the best in us.
November 14, 2016
3.5
I wasn't expecting much, since it was just one more Youtuber's biography. But I've always found Hannah Hart quite funny and the book was short, so why not?
Well, I was not prepared for this. The book actually focuses mainly on mental illnesses - from the terrible situation her mother's schizophrenia put her and her sisters in, the appalling childhood, the trauma she suffered from the family she had and how it dictated the rest of her life. It is quite heavier than expected, with so many interesting moments where we can easily see how mental issues are neglected, how families are directly affected and how the system simply doesn't know ways to handle these cases properly.
Of course, the girl's life didn't hover around mental illnesses, but of course her main stories where about it directly or stemming from it. However, even on the rare moments they were just about Youtube friendships or relationships, Hannah is a good enough writer to make it funny and interesting all the way.
It didn't leave me all happy and giddy and 'oh what a fun book' - of course - but it was so interesting. A very nice surprise.
I wasn't expecting much, since it was just one more Youtuber's biography. But I've always found Hannah Hart quite funny and the book was short, so why not?
Well, I was not prepared for this. The book actually focuses mainly on mental illnesses - from the terrible situation her mother's schizophrenia put her and her sisters in, the appalling childhood, the trauma she suffered from the family she had and how it dictated the rest of her life. It is quite heavier than expected, with so many interesting moments where we can easily see how mental issues are neglected, how families are directly affected and how the system simply doesn't know ways to handle these cases properly.
Of course, the girl's life didn't hover around mental illnesses, but of course her main stories where about it directly or stemming from it. However, even on the rare moments they were just about Youtube friendships or relationships, Hannah is a good enough writer to make it funny and interesting all the way.
It didn't leave me all happy and giddy and 'oh what a fun book' - of course - but it was so interesting. A very nice surprise.
May 1, 2022
The first Audiobook I downloaded on Audible.
Like many, I expected buffering to be a tale much to the tune of Hannah’s YouTube channel, witty, always optimistic, filled with jokes, laughs and tidbits of her lesbian adventures before love, and the behind the scenes of my drunk kitchen.
Well, I wasn’t entirely wrong. Hannah’s humour, her wit and her eternal optimism shines through (probably helped by her own voiceover work in the retelling) however I was also met with Hannah’s memoir, her life before YouTube, her family, her full story.
Buffering - the perfect term for a life **almost** there.
I adored this audiobook, and Hannah’s story. Her pain met with her prowess, her love for cooking and her love for life, all brought together.
This book may have came out when Hannah was at a point her career of tv show spots and tours galore, but I believe it came out exactly, as her life stopped buffering, and the whole Hannah, came to be.
A beautiful, true story that had me from the first words, to the exhaling breath at the end.
Like many, I expected buffering to be a tale much to the tune of Hannah’s YouTube channel, witty, always optimistic, filled with jokes, laughs and tidbits of her lesbian adventures before love, and the behind the scenes of my drunk kitchen.
Well, I wasn’t entirely wrong. Hannah’s humour, her wit and her eternal optimism shines through (probably helped by her own voiceover work in the retelling) however I was also met with Hannah’s memoir, her life before YouTube, her family, her full story.
Buffering - the perfect term for a life **almost** there.
I adored this audiobook, and Hannah’s story. Her pain met with her prowess, her love for cooking and her love for life, all brought together.
This book may have came out when Hannah was at a point her career of tv show spots and tours galore, but I believe it came out exactly, as her life stopped buffering, and the whole Hannah, came to be.
A beautiful, true story that had me from the first words, to the exhaling breath at the end.
October 20, 2016
To be honest, I don't care that much about Hannah Hart? Not in a bad way. Just in like a -- YouTubers are a weird section of entertainment I'm not really interested in and I stopped watching her videos a long, long time ago. Still, I enjoyed the candidness with which she wrote about her life. She did a really intense interview for some podcast years ago, and I really liked how frank she was about her difficult childhood, her coming out, etc etc. I've always felt like she seemed like a good person. The chapters about her first relationship and about applying to get conservatorship over her schizophrenic mother were probably the most resonant for me.
Oh, and all the bits where she talks about how LA is not where she'd choose to live. I really feel that, dude. I liked the very end of her bio, where it says she lives in Los Angeles and is starting to like it here. Same. Maybe.
Oh, and all the bits where she talks about how LA is not where she'd choose to live. I really feel that, dude. I liked the very end of her bio, where it says she lives in Los Angeles and is starting to like it here. Same. Maybe.
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