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One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter
Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Humor (2017)A collection of essays about growing up the daughter of Indian immigrants in Canada, "a land of ice and casual racism," by the cultural observer, Scaachi Koul.
In One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter, Scaachi deploys her razor-sharp humour to share her fears, outrages and mortifying experiences as an outsider growing up in Canada. Her subjects range from shaving her knuckles in grade school, to a shopping trip gone horribly awry, to dealing with internet trolls, to feeling out of place at an Indian wedding (as an Indian woman), to parsing the trajectory of fears and anxieties that pressed upon her immigrant parents and bled down a generation. Alongside these personal stories are pointed observations about life as a woman of colour, where every aspect of her appearance is open for critique, derision or outright scorn. Where strict gender rules bind in both Western and Indian cultures, forcing her to confront questions about gender dynamics, racial tensions, ethnic stereotypes and her father's creeping mortality--all as she tries to find her feet in the world.
In One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter, Scaachi deploys her razor-sharp humour to share her fears, outrages and mortifying experiences as an outsider growing up in Canada. Her subjects range from shaving her knuckles in grade school, to a shopping trip gone horribly awry, to dealing with internet trolls, to feeling out of place at an Indian wedding (as an Indian woman), to parsing the trajectory of fears and anxieties that pressed upon her immigrant parents and bled down a generation. Alongside these personal stories are pointed observations about life as a woman of colour, where every aspect of her appearance is open for critique, derision or outright scorn. Where strict gender rules bind in both Western and Indian cultures, forcing her to confront questions about gender dynamics, racial tensions, ethnic stereotypes and her father's creeping mortality--all as she tries to find her feet in the world.
241 pages, Hardcover
First published March 7, 2017
653 people are currently reading
36168 people want to read
About the author
Scaachi Koul
5Ìýbooks496ÌýfollowersScaachi Koul is a culture writer at BuzzFeed Canada. She is the author of a book of essays One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter. Koul attended the journalism school at Ryerson University.
Before BuzzFeed, Scaachi worked at Penguin Random House Canada, the acquiring publisher of 'One Day'. Before that she was an intern at Maclean's Magazine and The Huffington Post. Her journalism has appeared in Flare, The Huffington Post (Canada), The Thought Catalog, The Guardian, The New Yorker, The Globe and Mail, and other sites.
Before BuzzFeed, Scaachi worked at Penguin Random House Canada, the acquiring publisher of 'One Day'. Before that she was an intern at Maclean's Magazine and The Huffington Post. Her journalism has appeared in Flare, The Huffington Post (Canada), The Thought Catalog, The Guardian, The New Yorker, The Globe and Mail, and other sites.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,646 reviews
May 10, 2020
This book covered a lot of relevant topics, but didn’t add anything new to existing discourse that I’ve already read, and therefore doesn't stand out to me. I think this book would be better enjoyed by someone who is new to racial & feminist discourse.
August 2, 2018
Any writer promised to bear similarities to either Mindy Kaling or Roxane Gay will have my immediate interest in the palm of their hand. And Scaachi Koul did not disappoint with her wry humor and telling insights on a plethora of subjects. Dealing with fear, anxiety, grief, parenting, insecurities, racial discrimination, racial advantage, shadism, white privilege, sexism, feminism, online harassment, sexual harassment, diversity in media, and so much more. Koul won my heart over almost instantly with her essays.
But most of all, I knew I was a goner when she talked about her family. Getting to read about a small piece of her Kashmiri family history was intoxicating. I wanted more and more and more. Her parents remain two of the most caring and daring ones I've had the pleasure to read as of late.
And I'm not even kidding when I say that most of my favorite pieces were about them. I mean:
“My dad first saw her at his cousin’s house—my mom was her friend—and was flustered by her beauty. Ask my dad and he’ll wax poetic about my mother’s cheekbones, her rich eyes, her long hair, how he needed to get to know her. My mom didn’t even know he was there.�
#GOALS.
“Nothing bad can happen to you if you’re with your mom. Your mom can stop a bullet from lodging in your heart. She can prop you up when you can’t. Your mom is your blood and bone before your body even knows how to make any.�
Daughters showing love for their mothers is how my heart remains fulfilled.
“In the fifth grade, I got my hair chopped off in an ill-advised pixie cut, some two feet of dark black hair sheared off me like a sheep. Mom gathered it all and stuffed it into a heavy-duty Ziploc bag. “What are you doing?� I asked her as she tucked the bag into her purse. “When you’re older,� she said, “you’re going to get married, and this we can use for hair extensions on your wedding day.� She put the hair in the deep-freezer in the garage and it’s still there; sometimes when I root around for Pizza Pockets I will instead pull out a bag filled with my DNA. My mother would like a wedding, please, and it is not optional.�
This is so extra. I love it.
“Papa ends most of his calls with me the way you might close a conversation with someone you want to menace. “Anyway,� he’ll say, “I’ll be here. Staring into the abyss.� Or, when I have given him good news, “The talented will rule and the rest will perish in the sea of mediocrity.� Or, when I have given him bad news, “I am sorry for everything that happens to you, as everything is my fault.�
HE’S SOMETHING ELSE�
“When he started watching The Wire he answered the phone with “What up?� or “Who dat?� or some other linguistic appropriation that does not actually appear in the show. If I don’t acknowledge this greeting (perhaps with a similarly enthusiastic, “It’s ya boy�), he will say it another two or three times. It’s important that you notice this good mood he is in, because it is fleeting.�
Real talk, I want a whole book where Scaachi Koul gets to talk solely about her dad, please. 5/5 stars just for him. And so I loved how each essay ended with a snippet from one of her emails with her dad. I got to a point where I was looking forward to seeing what would be shared at the end of each written piece.
“None of this—the impatience, the frustration, the willingness to hold a grudge against an inanimate object—is new to me. He’s always been waiting for something to ruin his life. When I was little and would pretend to be a doctor and he my patient, he’d ask me surprisingly real questions about his hypertension and cholesterol, when all I wanted to do was “test his reflexes� by hitting him in the shin with a plastic mallet. He colours with Raisin but wants her to do something more “cerebral� with her talents. “No, don’t colour like that,� he says. “Colour in the lines. The lines! Well, if you’re going to do it that way, at least do some Cubist-inspired art. Show your inner angst. Show how angry you are at the establishment!� She frowns at him and tries to ignore his commands. “Yes,� he says. “Colour Dora’s face.�
This is the quality content I'm here for.
Also, I lived for this iconic moment when her dad was introduced to Scaachi's older (by thirteen years) boyfriend:
“They shook hands. Papa led him into the kitchen, where all serious family matters tend to take place. He offered Hamhock tea. “You look good,� Papa said. “For someone your age.�
Let me rephrase, this is not an iconic scene this is THE iconic scene.
However, since I kind of disliked her boyfrienda lot, my enjoyment was lowered every time he was mentioned. (Which turned out to be quite a lot for a memoir...)
But circling back to the positives, all of the pieces are entertaining, riveting and humorous, but some worked better for me than others. Like, the piece on body hair -which I'm still beyond grateful that someone finally wrote about in a book- remains one of my favorite essays.
“I didn’t shave more of it off. I didn’t want James to know he had gotten to me, so I figured I’d wait until the summer, the way I did for my moustache and brows, so that everyone would just forget I ever had hair in the first place. In class, though, James noticed the bald patch on my forearm. He laughed. “Did you try shaving your arm because I told you that you were hairy?�
James works in finance now. He lives in Boston. We are all eventually punished for our sins.�
THIS GIRL.
And last but not least, this crucial piece on social media and interaction:
“Who do you even talk to on Twitter?� Papa asked me after I told him I had rejoined. “Who could be so important there?� I thought about my family’s traditional Kashmiri last name, how any other Kashmiri can point us out in a phone book and know where we’re from. This has, literally, happened: when I was still living at home, a recent immigrant looked up our listed number, called us, and asked if he could come over to talk to my parents and get some help integrating. Mom made him fried vangan and Papa offered him chai and I was perplexed that my otherwise very private, very protective parents let a complete stranger stroll into their home just because he came from the same region they did. But they were trying to find connection, to talk to someone who understood them. I will likely have to tell you, here, that vangan is eggplant, but online, I can find someone in mere seconds who already knows that. Our worlds become a little smaller, we feel closer, we feel less alone.�
One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter is something I won't be forgetting anytime soon. Candid, outspoken, laugh-out-loud funny essays are the way to my heart. And I hope we'll get to see similar books released in the very near future because I crave more and more and more.
Note: I'm an Amazon Affiliate. If you're interested in buying One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter, just click on the image below to go through my link. I'll make a small commission!
Support creators you love. Buy a Coffee for nat (bookspoils) with
But most of all, I knew I was a goner when she talked about her family. Getting to read about a small piece of her Kashmiri family history was intoxicating. I wanted more and more and more. Her parents remain two of the most caring and daring ones I've had the pleasure to read as of late.
And I'm not even kidding when I say that most of my favorite pieces were about them. I mean:
“My dad first saw her at his cousin’s house—my mom was her friend—and was flustered by her beauty. Ask my dad and he’ll wax poetic about my mother’s cheekbones, her rich eyes, her long hair, how he needed to get to know her. My mom didn’t even know he was there.�
#GOALS.
“Nothing bad can happen to you if you’re with your mom. Your mom can stop a bullet from lodging in your heart. She can prop you up when you can’t. Your mom is your blood and bone before your body even knows how to make any.�
Daughters showing love for their mothers is how my heart remains fulfilled.
“In the fifth grade, I got my hair chopped off in an ill-advised pixie cut, some two feet of dark black hair sheared off me like a sheep. Mom gathered it all and stuffed it into a heavy-duty Ziploc bag. “What are you doing?� I asked her as she tucked the bag into her purse. “When you’re older,� she said, “you’re going to get married, and this we can use for hair extensions on your wedding day.� She put the hair in the deep-freezer in the garage and it’s still there; sometimes when I root around for Pizza Pockets I will instead pull out a bag filled with my DNA. My mother would like a wedding, please, and it is not optional.�
This is so extra. I love it.
“Papa ends most of his calls with me the way you might close a conversation with someone you want to menace. “Anyway,� he’ll say, “I’ll be here. Staring into the abyss.� Or, when I have given him good news, “The talented will rule and the rest will perish in the sea of mediocrity.� Or, when I have given him bad news, “I am sorry for everything that happens to you, as everything is my fault.�
HE’S SOMETHING ELSE�
“When he started watching The Wire he answered the phone with “What up?� or “Who dat?� or some other linguistic appropriation that does not actually appear in the show. If I don’t acknowledge this greeting (perhaps with a similarly enthusiastic, “It’s ya boy�), he will say it another two or three times. It’s important that you notice this good mood he is in, because it is fleeting.�
Real talk, I want a whole book where Scaachi Koul gets to talk solely about her dad, please. 5/5 stars just for him. And so I loved how each essay ended with a snippet from one of her emails with her dad. I got to a point where I was looking forward to seeing what would be shared at the end of each written piece.
“None of this—the impatience, the frustration, the willingness to hold a grudge against an inanimate object—is new to me. He’s always been waiting for something to ruin his life. When I was little and would pretend to be a doctor and he my patient, he’d ask me surprisingly real questions about his hypertension and cholesterol, when all I wanted to do was “test his reflexes� by hitting him in the shin with a plastic mallet. He colours with Raisin but wants her to do something more “cerebral� with her talents. “No, don’t colour like that,� he says. “Colour in the lines. The lines! Well, if you’re going to do it that way, at least do some Cubist-inspired art. Show your inner angst. Show how angry you are at the establishment!� She frowns at him and tries to ignore his commands. “Yes,� he says. “Colour Dora’s face.�
This is the quality content I'm here for.
Also, I lived for this iconic moment when her dad was introduced to Scaachi's older (by thirteen years) boyfriend:
“They shook hands. Papa led him into the kitchen, where all serious family matters tend to take place. He offered Hamhock tea. “You look good,� Papa said. “For someone your age.�
Let me rephrase, this is not an iconic scene this is THE iconic scene.
However, since I kind of disliked her boyfriend
But circling back to the positives, all of the pieces are entertaining, riveting and humorous, but some worked better for me than others. Like, the piece on body hair -which I'm still beyond grateful that someone finally wrote about in a book- remains one of my favorite essays.
“I didn’t shave more of it off. I didn’t want James to know he had gotten to me, so I figured I’d wait until the summer, the way I did for my moustache and brows, so that everyone would just forget I ever had hair in the first place. In class, though, James noticed the bald patch on my forearm. He laughed. “Did you try shaving your arm because I told you that you were hairy?�
James works in finance now. He lives in Boston. We are all eventually punished for our sins.�
THIS GIRL.
And last but not least, this crucial piece on social media and interaction:
“Who do you even talk to on Twitter?� Papa asked me after I told him I had rejoined. “Who could be so important there?� I thought about my family’s traditional Kashmiri last name, how any other Kashmiri can point us out in a phone book and know where we’re from. This has, literally, happened: when I was still living at home, a recent immigrant looked up our listed number, called us, and asked if he could come over to talk to my parents and get some help integrating. Mom made him fried vangan and Papa offered him chai and I was perplexed that my otherwise very private, very protective parents let a complete stranger stroll into their home just because he came from the same region they did. But they were trying to find connection, to talk to someone who understood them. I will likely have to tell you, here, that vangan is eggplant, but online, I can find someone in mere seconds who already knows that. Our worlds become a little smaller, we feel closer, we feel less alone.�
One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter is something I won't be forgetting anytime soon. Candid, outspoken, laugh-out-loud funny essays are the way to my heart. And I hope we'll get to see similar books released in the very near future because I crave more and more and more.
Note: I'm an Amazon Affiliate. If you're interested in buying One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter, just click on the image below to go through my link. I'll make a small commission!
Support creators you love. Buy a Coffee for nat (bookspoils) with
April 27, 2017
This was delightfully funny and surprisingly heartfelt. The first essay really got to me, which I wasn't expecting. She's a talented writer and storyteller, and she tackles some pretty serious themes—sexual assault, race, gender dynamics, and cultural difference. But I did feel like they lacked a bit of substance and could've done with a bit more reflection rather than simple narrative. That's not to say that there aren't really strong points and important lessons in this collection; I can see this resonating with a different audience much more than it did for me. But it's still one I would recommend, especially if you are looking to get into non-fiction/essay collections at all. 3.5 stars
June 3, 2017
I mostly just found this profoundly...eh. So I'm not going to review it, probably.
February 10, 2017
3.5 stars. One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter is an engaging collection of personal essays. The author is a young Canadian woman who's family is originally from India. She grew up in Calgary and lives in Toronto. Her personal essays deal with, amongst other topics, family, relationships, race, body image, hair, drinking, family weddings and her parents' reaction to her older white boyfriend. Her essays feel young, irreverent, angry and honest -- at times bordering on a bit too much honesty for me. There is also plenty of humour and the odd swear word. Many times, Koul made me feel old, but I enjoyed the window into her world. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an opportunity to read an advance copy.
September 24, 2017
I was initially going to give this two stars, but now that I have some distance from it, I like it even less. I'm just going to one-star it and not waste any more time thinking about it.
May 26, 2017
There's nothing earth-shattering here, just some fun, and (mostly) funny essays by a young Canadian writer who describes herself as a woman who somehow manages to get both of her hands stuck in two different salsa jars at the same time.
Koul covers a range of topics from romance to hair removal. She really won my heart with her essay about clothing, and the hopes we women pin on finding just the right shirt, skirt, or jeans.
It's happening, I thought. The item, the big item that changes the way I dress and thereby changes the way I am as a person. It's not just a skirt; it's the entry fee for a better existence. I would exude a new confidence, it would smooth out the wrinkles in my body, it would hide all the ways I have disappointed and failed people in the past. While wearing it, women would approach me and beg me to tell them where I got it. I would act coy and wink to the camera (in this version of the fantasy, I am perpetually in a commercial; don't worry about it) and say something like, "I'll never tell" or "Oh, just something I picked up." People would see me on the street shoving fistfuls of Teddy Grahams into my mouth on the way to the podiatrist, and they would think, "Boy, that lady sure does have her life together."
Koul sparked a real shit-storm in early 2016, when she asked that submissions to BuzzFeed Canada be from people "not white and not male." She received so many angry online tweets, she began responding with quotes from Good Will Hunting, but she closed her Twitter account after getting too many rape and death threats.
I was getting a few hundred notifications a day, all largely negative, all vaguely menacing.
Many of the essays deal with family, particularly the author's strained though frequently hilarious relationship with her father. Papa Koul is fond of using the silent treatment as a way of punishing his daughter's transgressions. Despite the grief she has obviously caused him, he was kind enough to write a very funny author bio for this book. Maybe everyone is just mellowing with age.
Few things get less complicated as you age, but your family, that at least should become easier. You should eventually make peace with everyone, with their decisions and their quirks. With your parents in particular, you should fight less because you have less time to fight.
In all, not a bad collection of essays from a gal who's only 26 years old.
AND, she really knows how to rock red lipstick, something I've never been able to master.
Koul covers a range of topics from romance to hair removal. She really won my heart with her essay about clothing, and the hopes we women pin on finding just the right shirt, skirt, or jeans.
It's happening, I thought. The item, the big item that changes the way I dress and thereby changes the way I am as a person. It's not just a skirt; it's the entry fee for a better existence. I would exude a new confidence, it would smooth out the wrinkles in my body, it would hide all the ways I have disappointed and failed people in the past. While wearing it, women would approach me and beg me to tell them where I got it. I would act coy and wink to the camera (in this version of the fantasy, I am perpetually in a commercial; don't worry about it) and say something like, "I'll never tell" or "Oh, just something I picked up." People would see me on the street shoving fistfuls of Teddy Grahams into my mouth on the way to the podiatrist, and they would think, "Boy, that lady sure does have her life together."
Koul sparked a real shit-storm in early 2016, when she asked that submissions to BuzzFeed Canada be from people "not white and not male." She received so many angry online tweets, she began responding with quotes from Good Will Hunting, but she closed her Twitter account after getting too many rape and death threats.
I was getting a few hundred notifications a day, all largely negative, all vaguely menacing.
Many of the essays deal with family, particularly the author's strained though frequently hilarious relationship with her father. Papa Koul is fond of using the silent treatment as a way of punishing his daughter's transgressions. Despite the grief she has obviously caused him, he was kind enough to write a very funny author bio for this book. Maybe everyone is just mellowing with age.
Few things get less complicated as you age, but your family, that at least should become easier. You should eventually make peace with everyone, with their decisions and their quirks. With your parents in particular, you should fight less because you have less time to fight.
In all, not a bad collection of essays from a gal who's only 26 years old.
AND, she really knows how to rock red lipstick, something I've never been able to master.
February 12, 2017
Perfect for fans of Lindy West, Roxane Gay, and Jenny Lawson. With the added commentary on skin color in India vs. Canada, I felt like I was gaining one more perspective on what it means to have brown skin and how that changes based on where you are (and her surprising excursions into privilege.) The parenting emails made me laugh, her compassion towards her parents was impressive in that she could see the humor while also being annoyed. I will definitely be recommending this to other readers when it comes out.
Thanks to the publisher who gave me early access via Edelweiss.
Thanks to the publisher who gave me early access via Edelweiss.
July 13, 2017
1.5 stars. I really wanted to like this, and I hate writing negative reviews, but I really struggled. I just couldn't figure out why I was reading the personal essays of a young 20-something who hasn't done anything. The most interesting parts happened to other people, like the Indian wedding, or her friend in college who struggled with alcoholism. But nothing happened! We don't even have a resolution to the alcoholic's story- she never explained what happened to him, only about how she was mad for a while and now she's over it?
I literally forced myself to finish this, because I'm trying to read all of my BOTM on time to justify the subscription cost, but I really regret not choosing instead...and I chose ODWABDANOTWM because I thought it would be an easier read! It was not.
Her voice is good and she's funny, but that's not enough to justify an entire book about nothing. She's no David Sedaris, not yet at least. I think in a couple of years, after she's done and seen more, she will be a great talent.
I literally forced myself to finish this, because I'm trying to read all of my BOTM on time to justify the subscription cost, but I really regret not choosing instead...and I chose ODWABDANOTWM because I thought it would be an easier read! It was not.
Her voice is good and she's funny, but that's not enough to justify an entire book about nothing. She's no David Sedaris, not yet at least. I think in a couple of years, after she's done and seen more, she will be a great talent.
January 15, 2018
One of my favorite genres that I read a ton of is autobiographies. So of course when I saw the really unique title of this autobiography I had to read it. Well, this one was nothing special. It wasn't funny. It did dig deep. This was just an "okay" book. One that since I started it I might as well finish.
This book collection of essays about Scaachi Koul growing up with Indian immigrants in Canada. Then moving halfway across the world for college.
Like I said, nothing special. No need to read this.
This book collection of essays about Scaachi Koul growing up with Indian immigrants in Canada. Then moving halfway across the world for college.
Like I said, nothing special. No need to read this.
June 7, 2023
This was, hands down, probably the worst book I have read all year.. and that's saying something.
Suffice it to say that the title has practically nothing to do with the book, and the whining and complaining is what made it through edit to be mass-produced.
They are so many better books that deserve the chance that this got.
Needless to say, this was not worth the time it took to read, and thank goodness it wasn't longer; I wasn't sure if I would make it to the end.
1 star for me.
Suffice it to say that the title has practically nothing to do with the book, and the whining and complaining is what made it through edit to be mass-produced.
They are so many better books that deserve the chance that this got.
Needless to say, this was not worth the time it took to read, and thank goodness it wasn't longer; I wasn't sure if I would make it to the end.
1 star for me.
August 16, 2022
I interviewed the author this morning, which is why I think I'm qualified to say, yes, she really is smart and funny. This collection of essays tackles issues like racism, sexism, body image, and rape culture, while also infusing each one with personal stories and a generous dollop of humor. My favorite essays were "Fair and Lovely" and "Mister Beast Man to You, Randor," but there wasn't an essay I didn't enjoy. Scaachi Koul is so great and so is this book. If you don't believe me, check out my interview with her:
November 5, 2017
Kind of a boring read. Story about an Indian girl growing up in Canada. A humorous look at some times in her life . Not a bad read but nothing special ....
May 9, 2017
Scaachi's voice is wholly unique. She is cringingly funny (in a good way, I swear) but I found myself tearing up quite often. This isn't a treatise on millennial Indian women or a manifesto on the first-gen immigrant story or some bullshit like that.She makes no attempts to tell a universal story and I so appreciate that. She just offers her own story and it is more than enough.
Read
April 1, 2017Personal Essays That Are Equal Parts LOL and WTF
By Judge Kevin Nguyen
An essay collection hinges entirely on the voice of its author, so let me characterize Scaachi Koul's: rude, angry, sometimes crass, always fiercely intelligent and hilarious. In her debut, Koul tackles regular essay collection stuff—meditations on relationships, family, identity � but the best part of it is that she’s funny as sh*t.
I laughed out loud on a dozen occasions throughout this book, from her descriptions of a torturously long five-day family wedding in Jammu to stranger details. For instance, Koul refers to her boyfriend affectionately as "Hamhock," a “sweet, precious moron�; she hides packets of sweet-and-sour sauce in her bra. One essay starts with this line: “Like farts and the incorrect retellings of classic literature, racism is a lot cuter when it comes out of a little girl.�
Koul was raised in Alberta, Canada, her Kashmiri parents having immigrated from India. She writes often about her family, and if there’s a strong thread that runs through the book, it’s one of lineage. Koul has inherited parents� anxieties and fears, the baggage that comes with being born brown.
Beyond the personal, some essays cover topics about the larger evils of the world. For instance, “Mute� details the Twitter backlash Koul experienced when she encouraged non-white, non-male people to contribute to BuzzFeed (where Koul works). Alt-right poster-boy Milo Yiannopoulos sent his followers after her, which turned into a terrifying flood of rape and death threats. Learning about her experience firsthand will make you shiver and want to lock your virtual internet twitter deadbolt door. Koul reveals a core truth about Internet trolls: “what they say to me online is the purest distillation of the rage they feel.�
But the most powerful essay in the book is “Hunting Season,� which illuminates the way men prey on women. We're talking about observation on the most primal level. “Men watch women at the gym, at work, on the subway: in any space occupied by men and women, the women are being watched,� Koul writes. The perils of course are steepest at the bar: as Koul says, “When a guy asks to buy you a drink, suggest he buy you a snack instead and see how that goes over.�
In the end, it becomes clear the title of the book is a bit of a joke. One day we will all be dead, but after reading Koul's essays, you'll recognize that these things do matter. They matter so damn much.
Read more at
By Judge Kevin Nguyen
An essay collection hinges entirely on the voice of its author, so let me characterize Scaachi Koul's: rude, angry, sometimes crass, always fiercely intelligent and hilarious. In her debut, Koul tackles regular essay collection stuff—meditations on relationships, family, identity � but the best part of it is that she’s funny as sh*t.
I laughed out loud on a dozen occasions throughout this book, from her descriptions of a torturously long five-day family wedding in Jammu to stranger details. For instance, Koul refers to her boyfriend affectionately as "Hamhock," a “sweet, precious moron�; she hides packets of sweet-and-sour sauce in her bra. One essay starts with this line: “Like farts and the incorrect retellings of classic literature, racism is a lot cuter when it comes out of a little girl.�
Koul was raised in Alberta, Canada, her Kashmiri parents having immigrated from India. She writes often about her family, and if there’s a strong thread that runs through the book, it’s one of lineage. Koul has inherited parents� anxieties and fears, the baggage that comes with being born brown.
Beyond the personal, some essays cover topics about the larger evils of the world. For instance, “Mute� details the Twitter backlash Koul experienced when she encouraged non-white, non-male people to contribute to BuzzFeed (where Koul works). Alt-right poster-boy Milo Yiannopoulos sent his followers after her, which turned into a terrifying flood of rape and death threats. Learning about her experience firsthand will make you shiver and want to lock your virtual internet twitter deadbolt door. Koul reveals a core truth about Internet trolls: “what they say to me online is the purest distillation of the rage they feel.�
But the most powerful essay in the book is “Hunting Season,� which illuminates the way men prey on women. We're talking about observation on the most primal level. “Men watch women at the gym, at work, on the subway: in any space occupied by men and women, the women are being watched,� Koul writes. The perils of course are steepest at the bar: as Koul says, “When a guy asks to buy you a drink, suggest he buy you a snack instead and see how that goes over.�
In the end, it becomes clear the title of the book is a bit of a joke. One day we will all be dead, but after reading Koul's essays, you'll recognize that these things do matter. They matter so damn much.
Read more at
August 24, 2018
THERE were one or two essays in here that I really enjoyed. I would say that 'Fair and Lovely' was my favourite because it was interesting and funny and just great overall. The book as a whole left me feeling a little underwhelmed. I did really enjoy it but not nearly as much as I'd expected to. The essays were quite funny which I enjoyed but they were too casual a lot of the time and didn't always hit the message home. There were some great anecdotes and I'm glad I read this book. I just think my main problem was that although they made good points and were interesting, they didn't seem to build to any conclusion.
May 20, 2017
I had really high hopes for this book. Koul was witty, charming and laugh-out-loud funny from the first paragraph...and then...it became dreadful. If you'd like to read 237 pages of someone complaining, this is definitely a book for you.
September 7, 2020
Everybody is drinking from the Lena Dunham fountain. This was just okay.
I enjoy Scaachi’s writing on twitter. However, certain people’s lives aren’t as interesting as they think they are, book wise. That’s not shade or nothing, it’s just facts. She wasn’t the first to do anything, she hasn’t cracked open the door for other folks to do nothing.. this is just an addition to the coming of age millennial stories populating the literary market. I ain’t mad tho. I need these diverse stories. I like the way she uses her life experiences to illustrate and reflect particular concepts and topics on the journey to adulthood.
Koul shares a lot of musings on already circulating knowledge about rape culture, predatory men, shitty friends, college-drunkenness, etc, etc. All the things regular degular Toronto shorties that have lived and worked their way through York U, Ryerson or UofT are well versed in and have BEEN knowing.
I loved the stories of the lives surrounding hers, particularly her parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. These are a lot of the stories that I think are missing from the culture. Immigrant stories, stories of people from diasporas who set down roots here in Toronto against massive odds, stuck together against the odds, or stories of those whom are fighting their way through situations right now. Like, I think of my ex who should write a book about his crazy life... anyway.. back to this review: yo, those stories about the lives surrounding hers, those were adorable and charming and relatable and also frustrating when they were frustrating.
One thing that sticks out to me here, is something I’ve seen in 3 different books I’ve read by Brown women recently. It’s when Brown people hug up whiteness. Scaachi made me chuckle a bit with her words but then it made me think about why whiteness must be incorporated somehow into her Brown girl story. I never know why folks in interracial partnerships, no shade to interracial partnerships, I love me some white folks.. but I don’t understand why when writing a story about your personal journey, Brown people feel the need to include ‘a love for whiteness� as a staple in their personal story.
I’ve read a few books in the personal story vein by Brown writers including We Have Always Been Here by Samra Habib and The Authenticity Principle by Ritu Bhasin and what are we saying with that statement on a whole, sisters? I keep thinking about what the incorporation of whiteness or white adjacency means to our life stories. I guess it’s a introduction to the person that she’s married to, but like � there has to be an easier way to introduce Hamhock (that’s her name for her dude, not mine) without harping on the whiteness. I heard a really good podcast where a diverse group of women discussed colonized dating preferences.. and my mind couldn’t help but think about it as Scaachi highlights about how enamoured with whiteness she is/was, stating:
I mean listen, I want all my black and brown sisters to find love where they find it. I’m also happy when people can find the beauty in themselves and love themselves, whenever they get to that point. She did share so many interesting elements of her Indian heritage with me, the reader. I just thought that whole discussion on her relationship was an interestingly delivered storyline.
Anyway, it was an alright book to break me out of a reading funk I was in. Didn’t teach me anything, but I do love a diverse coming of age story.
I enjoy Scaachi’s writing on twitter. However, certain people’s lives aren’t as interesting as they think they are, book wise. That’s not shade or nothing, it’s just facts. She wasn’t the first to do anything, she hasn’t cracked open the door for other folks to do nothing.. this is just an addition to the coming of age millennial stories populating the literary market. I ain’t mad tho. I need these diverse stories. I like the way she uses her life experiences to illustrate and reflect particular concepts and topics on the journey to adulthood.
Koul shares a lot of musings on already circulating knowledge about rape culture, predatory men, shitty friends, college-drunkenness, etc, etc. All the things regular degular Toronto shorties that have lived and worked their way through York U, Ryerson or UofT are well versed in and have BEEN knowing.
I loved the stories of the lives surrounding hers, particularly her parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. These are a lot of the stories that I think are missing from the culture. Immigrant stories, stories of people from diasporas who set down roots here in Toronto against massive odds, stuck together against the odds, or stories of those whom are fighting their way through situations right now. Like, I think of my ex who should write a book about his crazy life... anyway.. back to this review: yo, those stories about the lives surrounding hers, those were adorable and charming and relatable and also frustrating when they were frustrating.
One thing that sticks out to me here, is something I’ve seen in 3 different books I’ve read by Brown women recently. It’s when Brown people hug up whiteness. Scaachi made me chuckle a bit with her words but then it made me think about why whiteness must be incorporated somehow into her Brown girl story. I never know why folks in interracial partnerships, no shade to interracial partnerships, I love me some white folks.. but I don’t understand why when writing a story about your personal journey, Brown people feel the need to include ‘a love for whiteness� as a staple in their personal story.
I’ve read a few books in the personal story vein by Brown writers including We Have Always Been Here by Samra Habib and The Authenticity Principle by Ritu Bhasin and what are we saying with that statement on a whole, sisters? I keep thinking about what the incorporation of whiteness or white adjacency means to our life stories. I guess it’s a introduction to the person that she’s married to, but like � there has to be an easier way to introduce Hamhock (that’s her name for her dude, not mine) without harping on the whiteness. I heard a really good podcast where a diverse group of women discussed colonized dating preferences.. and my mind couldn’t help but think about it as Scaachi highlights about how enamoured with whiteness she is/was, stating:
"I became my family’s new roots, digging deep into a Canadian culture that loved beef, farming, whiteness—the opposite of what my family knew." 81% in 'One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter' by Scaachi Koul
I mean listen, I want all my black and brown sisters to find love where they find it. I’m also happy when people can find the beauty in themselves and love themselves, whenever they get to that point. She did share so many interesting elements of her Indian heritage with me, the reader. I just thought that whole discussion on her relationship was an interestingly delivered storyline.
Anyway, it was an alright book to break me out of a reading funk I was in. Didn’t teach me anything, but I do love a diverse coming of age story.
April 8, 2018
One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter is an easily digestible collection of essays on Koul's angst about a variety of subjects like body image, drinking, Twitter, skin color and her parents. The author has an appealing, vulnerable style but I soon I became weary of her focus on self without the balance of wisdom or reflection. I know this sounds jaded - but there was nothing new here for me.
April 26, 2018
I found myself laughing out loud as I read. I enjoyed Scaachi Koul's take on her family, misogyny, the conflict between being a good daughter and finding her own way in life. There were some points at which I found myself saying, "Yup, I know EXACTLY what you mean!" when she described the often ridiculous and sometimes crushing expectations foisted on Indian daughters.
June 13, 2017
Wonderful memoir from Buzzfeed senior writer Scaachi Koul. She is a first-generation daughter of Indian immigrants and in the book she discusses her experiences growing up in Canada, racism she faced, body image issues, day-dreaming fantasies, hair issues, and her relationships. Specially interesting is the relationship with her parents, I found hilarious some of the interactions she had with them. I could relate to some of her experiences and enjoyed reading her essays.
I listened to the audio book which is narrated by her and, some sections, are narrated by his father. It was so funny and cute, I loved his sections. I mean, her actual dad! Awesome :)
More about the author:
I listened to the audio book which is narrated by her and, some sections, are narrated by his father. It was so funny and cute, I loved his sections. I mean, her actual dad! Awesome :)
More about the author:
February 24, 2018
One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter: Essays definitely attracted me with the title. I mean, who wouldn't want to read this book - it just got me hooked.
I've also been on like a non-fiction kind of binge lately and when I saw that this was available at my library I just had to have it! Scaachi is a blessing in disguise. I loved everything about this book. She talks about a whole range of things within this thing, like: dealing with fear, grief, parenting, insecurities, discrimination, sexism, feminism, and a whole bunch more.
Overall, I really enjoyed everything that Koul wrote and probably laughed a whole bunch of times. I liked getting to know more about her and I found it so freaking interesting that she used to work at Buzzfeed! I freaking love that place - I constantly watch their videos on youtube or check their website whenever I'm bored.
Loved this book and can't wait for the next!
I've also been on like a non-fiction kind of binge lately and when I saw that this was available at my library I just had to have it! Scaachi is a blessing in disguise. I loved everything about this book. She talks about a whole range of things within this thing, like: dealing with fear, grief, parenting, insecurities, discrimination, sexism, feminism, and a whole bunch more.
Overall, I really enjoyed everything that Koul wrote and probably laughed a whole bunch of times. I liked getting to know more about her and I found it so freaking interesting that she used to work at Buzzfeed! I freaking love that place - I constantly watch their videos on youtube or check their website whenever I'm bored.
Loved this book and can't wait for the next!
March 28, 2023
I’d give it 3.5 stars. This book is a collection of personal essays by Scaachi Koul. The book is funny and at the same time insightful. She tells her experiences in story telling writing in sensitive subjects like sexism, racism and discrimination. I could relate to many of her stories and see the complications she and her parents had in finding themselves between two different worlds/homes.
May 25, 2017
A funny, interesting and heartfelt collection. Loved the parts about the author and her father. I do think it lacks a bit of depth and reflection, but it's worth the read.
March 4, 2019
One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter is a collection of honest and humorous personal essays by Scaachi Koul. Many of the essays revolve around her experiences as the daughter of Indian immigrants in Canada � both growing up and as an adult, as her family continues to play an important role her life � and I appreciated the glimpse into her culture and family dynamics. In addition to personal stories, her essays explore issues of gender dynamics, sexism, rape culture, internet harassment/threats, shadism/racism, and more.
The essays that stood out the most to me were “Hunting Season� (which discusses rape and surveillance culture), “Mute� (which is about Twitter and the intense backlash Koul faced in 2016), and “Good Egg� (about her university friends and drinking). While I enjoyed listening to this collection, I don’t think these essays will have a lasting impact on me (in fact, I have already forgotten what some of the early essays were about). I would have liked deeper reflections in some of the essays, but I think as Koul continues to write and hone her craft, her essays will be strengthened. I look forward to reading what she writes next!
The essays that stood out the most to me were “Hunting Season� (which discusses rape and surveillance culture), “Mute� (which is about Twitter and the intense backlash Koul faced in 2016), and “Good Egg� (about her university friends and drinking). While I enjoyed listening to this collection, I don’t think these essays will have a lasting impact on me (in fact, I have already forgotten what some of the early essays were about). I would have liked deeper reflections in some of the essays, but I think as Koul continues to write and hone her craft, her essays will be strengthened. I look forward to reading what she writes next!
April 24, 2017
I never heard of this book or author, Scaachi Koul, until a free copy landed in my lucky lap.
It’s not the sort of book that would have been on my radar to search for at the local library. I do love surprises though, especially books that catch me off guard.
And this was one of those lovely surprises!
Where do I begin�
Well, this book was very funny. Scaachi Koul doesn’t hold back - she describes her life experiences with candor and honesty (don’t hold back tell us what you really really think type of honesty). Raised as first generation Canadian of Indian descent, we learn a lot about her life, especially the cultural clashes between her and her parents. She loves her family even though they annoy her. She especially adores her niece Raisin (a cute nickname) and Hamhock, her boyfriend. Each chapter is a slice of Scaachi’s life. We learn about her fear of flying, leaving home to attend university in Toronto, her beloved cousin’s week long arranged wedding in India, as well as her issues with hair and whiteness.
It was an enjoyable read. I recommend it to everyone for a fun break from their usual genres.
Thank you to Doubleday Canada for sending me a free copy of One Day We’ll All Be Dead And None Of This Will Matter.
**I won this book from GoodReads Giveaways**
It’s not the sort of book that would have been on my radar to search for at the local library. I do love surprises though, especially books that catch me off guard.
And this was one of those lovely surprises!
Where do I begin�
Well, this book was very funny. Scaachi Koul doesn’t hold back - she describes her life experiences with candor and honesty (don’t hold back tell us what you really really think type of honesty). Raised as first generation Canadian of Indian descent, we learn a lot about her life, especially the cultural clashes between her and her parents. She loves her family even though they annoy her. She especially adores her niece Raisin (a cute nickname) and Hamhock, her boyfriend. Each chapter is a slice of Scaachi’s life. We learn about her fear of flying, leaving home to attend university in Toronto, her beloved cousin’s week long arranged wedding in India, as well as her issues with hair and whiteness.
It was an enjoyable read. I recommend it to everyone for a fun break from their usual genres.
Thank you to Doubleday Canada for sending me a free copy of One Day We’ll All Be Dead And None Of This Will Matter.
**I won this book from GoodReads Giveaways**
April 10, 2017
About halfway through this book I became obsessed with Scaachi Koul. I delved deep into her twitter, going one - two - years back, laughing at and with her and her unique take on life. Scaachi is Indian, lives in Toronto, and is a Buzzfeed writer. This book touches on race, gender roles, privilege - all thoughtful and not always tasteful (but hilarious and charming nonetheless). My favourite parts, though, were the very real and honest accounts of her family life, how it shapes us, how we become nostalgic for the safety our family can provide us (such as in her essay "Tawi River, Elbow River"). I'm calling this a must-read for 2017.
April 10, 2017
I'm so glad I picked this book up.
I don't read a lot of non-fiction but this is one of the best non-fiction books I've ever read. I loved it from the very first page and I never wanted to put it down. I thought it was incredibly funny and a few of the stories Scaachi told had me laughing out loud.
There was also a good deal of serious stories about Scaachi's experiences as an Indian women with immigrant parents. I really appreciate the opportunity to read about Scaachi's perspective and for her voice to be heard.
One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter is very unique and sincere. It's one of the best books I've read and I absolutely loved it. I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking to pick up a non-fiction read.
I don't read a lot of non-fiction but this is one of the best non-fiction books I've ever read. I loved it from the very first page and I never wanted to put it down. I thought it was incredibly funny and a few of the stories Scaachi told had me laughing out loud.
There was also a good deal of serious stories about Scaachi's experiences as an Indian women with immigrant parents. I really appreciate the opportunity to read about Scaachi's perspective and for her voice to be heard.
One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter is very unique and sincere. It's one of the best books I've read and I absolutely loved it. I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking to pick up a non-fiction read.
November 6, 2017
4.75
This book was great. It was hilarious and insightful and I was able to relate to so much more of it than I would have ever thought. I laughed out loud many times, Koul was able to put into perfect words so many thoughts I've had in my life. I didn't always feel as if the essays flowed well from one to the other to make the most cohesive collection but maybe they weren't supposed to. Loved this, definitely recommend it.
This book was great. It was hilarious and insightful and I was able to relate to so much more of it than I would have ever thought. I laughed out loud many times, Koul was able to put into perfect words so many thoughts I've had in my life. I didn't always feel as if the essays flowed well from one to the other to make the most cohesive collection but maybe they weren't supposed to. Loved this, definitely recommend it.
November 11, 2016
I can't even begin to describe how much I loved this book. Everyone I know is going to get it for their birthday for the next five years. My dad will probably be a little confused at first but whatever.
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