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The Law of Kindness: Serving with Heart and Hands
"And be ye kind to another," begins Ephesians 4:32. Christians are called to this standard, but how seriously do we take it?
In The Law of Kindness, Mary Beeke examines the idea of kindness, shows how it is developed, and gives helpful advice for putting it into action, with specific chapters addressed to wives, husbands, parents, teachers, and children. Readers will be struck by their own lack of kindness, captivated by God's kindness toward us in Jesus Christ, and motivated to cultivate more of this precious virtue.
Mary Beeke is the wife of Dr. Joel Beeke and the mother of Calvin, Esther, and Lydia. She has served as a registered nurse and an elementary teacher, and has her M.A.T. in learning disabilities from Calvin College. Since 1989, she has been a homemaker and a pastor's wife.
Endorsements: "Mary Beeke has given us an invaluable source of reflection upon the much needed Christian virtue-kindness. In doing so, she has provided us with breathtaking examples of Christian kindness in action, interspersed with practical applications on this Christ-like fruit of the Spirit. This will prove a deservedly popular book, one that readers will return to again and again." - Dr. Derek Thomas
In The Law of Kindness, Mary Beeke examines the idea of kindness, shows how it is developed, and gives helpful advice for putting it into action, with specific chapters addressed to wives, husbands, parents, teachers, and children. Readers will be struck by their own lack of kindness, captivated by God's kindness toward us in Jesus Christ, and motivated to cultivate more of this precious virtue.
Mary Beeke is the wife of Dr. Joel Beeke and the mother of Calvin, Esther, and Lydia. She has served as a registered nurse and an elementary teacher, and has her M.A.T. in learning disabilities from Calvin College. Since 1989, she has been a homemaker and a pastor's wife.
Endorsements: "Mary Beeke has given us an invaluable source of reflection upon the much needed Christian virtue-kindness. In doing so, she has provided us with breathtaking examples of Christian kindness in action, interspersed with practical applications on this Christ-like fruit of the Spirit. This will prove a deservedly popular book, one that readers will return to again and again." - Dr. Derek Thomas
247 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2007
41 people are currently reading
248 people want to read
About the author
Mary Beeke
16Ìýbooks10ÌýfollowersMary Beeke is the wife of Dr. Joel Beeke and the mother of Calvin, Esther, and Lydia. She has served as a registered nurse and an elementary teacher, and has her M.A.T. in learning disabilities from Calvin College. Since 1989, she has been a homemaker and a pastor's wife.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
December 24, 2024
Really good, particularly enjoyed the “kind wife� chapter, and the chapter “kind words.�
“Where there is love, there is a natural inclination to praise.�
“When we nurture a spirit of discontentment in ourselves, we don't like ourselves, we find fault in others, and we see our circumstances as unsatisfactory. Thus we spiral ever deeper into unhappiness. But the same circumstances look much better when our attitude says, "This is God's providence in my life, and I will work to improve things. I am to love God above all and my neighbor as myself. I will depend on the Lord for all things. And I realize I am a sinner who doesn't deserve the blessings I have. If Paul and Silas could sing in the prison, can't I rejoice in my circumstances?" Proverbs
15:15 states, "All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast."�
Proverbs 25:11-12
[11] A word fitly spoken
is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.
[12] Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold
is a wise reprover to a listening ear.
“Love has tenderness for the loved one. Love wants what is best for the loved one. Love wants to speak lovingly. Love cares about others and wants to serve. Love wants to help when help is needed…Add empathy to love, and even more kindness happens.
The combination of observing a person's situation, putting ourselves in his place, caring about him, understanding his emotions, figuring out if we can help, then saying kind words, is a sequence that is like "apples of gold in pictures of silver" (Prov. 25:11). If we have the law of kindness in our hearts, then we aim to color all our actions and words with kindness-from the clerk in the grocery store to the family members with whom we live.�
“When I am around a person with indomitable cheerfulness, I am uplifted; I feel safe, accepted, and comfortable in his or her presence. Wouldn't it be great if we all had that effect on each other? If we wish to improve our communication skills, this is the area to begin with that will make the most impact. By simply being aware of how we sound and our impact on others, we can take steps to change� If we shore up the self-discipline it takes to be cheerful, our emotions may just follow along.�
“Our positive reaction to situations and to others conveys pleasantness. Most people are in tune with the reaction of others to themselves, and they care about it. By responding to someone with calm understanding, we convey acceptance and engender a positive atmosphere� How do you and I react to others� especially those with whom we live or work? Let's pause, examine our initial reaction, and, if needed, replace it with a pleasant accepting one.�
“There may be some gender differences here. If we divide our moods into "grouchy," "neutral," or "cheerful," I assert that men operate much more in the neutral range than women. Generally speaking, they are more logical; they frequently deal with facts and information; emotions are neither here nor there. Women, however, tend more to look at life through emotions. We react positively or negatively to others and to situations. This affects our mood, making us irritable, even-tempered, or happy. I believe God meant it to be this way, minus sin, of course. Isn't this just another piece in the whole grand design of marriage between one man and one woman? Mr. Logical Smith calms down Mrs. Emotional Smith by first empathetically listening to her and then working out a solution to the problem. She in turn makes him more aware of the personal, emotional side of people so that he becomes more understanding. Together, they make a good team.�
“My cheerfulness at home, amidst the humdrum of normal life, hinges tightly with my level of humility and gratitude. When I take things for granted and walk around with "entitled" written on my attitude, I lean towards gloominess. When I count my blessings and tabulate my unworthiness, my attitude and my words are much more cheerful and pleasant.�
“Where there is love, there is a natural inclination to praise.�
“When we nurture a spirit of discontentment in ourselves, we don't like ourselves, we find fault in others, and we see our circumstances as unsatisfactory. Thus we spiral ever deeper into unhappiness. But the same circumstances look much better when our attitude says, "This is God's providence in my life, and I will work to improve things. I am to love God above all and my neighbor as myself. I will depend on the Lord for all things. And I realize I am a sinner who doesn't deserve the blessings I have. If Paul and Silas could sing in the prison, can't I rejoice in my circumstances?" Proverbs
15:15 states, "All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast."�
Proverbs 25:11-12
[11] A word fitly spoken
is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.
[12] Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold
is a wise reprover to a listening ear.
“Love has tenderness for the loved one. Love wants what is best for the loved one. Love wants to speak lovingly. Love cares about others and wants to serve. Love wants to help when help is needed…Add empathy to love, and even more kindness happens.
The combination of observing a person's situation, putting ourselves in his place, caring about him, understanding his emotions, figuring out if we can help, then saying kind words, is a sequence that is like "apples of gold in pictures of silver" (Prov. 25:11). If we have the law of kindness in our hearts, then we aim to color all our actions and words with kindness-from the clerk in the grocery store to the family members with whom we live.�
“When I am around a person with indomitable cheerfulness, I am uplifted; I feel safe, accepted, and comfortable in his or her presence. Wouldn't it be great if we all had that effect on each other? If we wish to improve our communication skills, this is the area to begin with that will make the most impact. By simply being aware of how we sound and our impact on others, we can take steps to change� If we shore up the self-discipline it takes to be cheerful, our emotions may just follow along.�
“Our positive reaction to situations and to others conveys pleasantness. Most people are in tune with the reaction of others to themselves, and they care about it. By responding to someone with calm understanding, we convey acceptance and engender a positive atmosphere� How do you and I react to others� especially those with whom we live or work? Let's pause, examine our initial reaction, and, if needed, replace it with a pleasant accepting one.�
“There may be some gender differences here. If we divide our moods into "grouchy," "neutral," or "cheerful," I assert that men operate much more in the neutral range than women. Generally speaking, they are more logical; they frequently deal with facts and information; emotions are neither here nor there. Women, however, tend more to look at life through emotions. We react positively or negatively to others and to situations. This affects our mood, making us irritable, even-tempered, or happy. I believe God meant it to be this way, minus sin, of course. Isn't this just another piece in the whole grand design of marriage between one man and one woman? Mr. Logical Smith calms down Mrs. Emotional Smith by first empathetically listening to her and then working out a solution to the problem. She in turn makes him more aware of the personal, emotional side of people so that he becomes more understanding. Together, they make a good team.�
“My cheerfulness at home, amidst the humdrum of normal life, hinges tightly with my level of humility and gratitude. When I take things for granted and walk around with "entitled" written on my attitude, I lean towards gloominess. When I count my blessings and tabulate my unworthiness, my attitude and my words are much more cheerful and pleasant.�
June 22, 2018
I made it as far as the introduction, and after finding several theological errors, and having a long discussion with my husband, I've decided to get rid of this book. She is trying to write to believer and unbeliever alike, but in her attempt to witness to the unbeliever and explain her stance, she waters down God, Jesus Christ, and the gospel. It's like she's afraid she might offend someone. If she is trying to be inoffensive, she doesn't understand what kindness is. Kindness doesn't mean you don't offend people. Kindness is an attribute of God, and thus it is holy. It needs to be treated as such. Not watered down so the world becomes a nicer place.
I was disappointed because I was really looking forward to this book, but life is too short to read bad theology.
I was disappointed because I was really looking forward to this book, but life is too short to read bad theology.
January 29, 2024
I loved this book, and I love Mary Beeke. She has such a motherly tone in her writing. A true Titus 2 woman. I gained a lot of practical applications and spiritual encouragement. Although a few portions of the book didn't apply to me directly, I appreciated her specific encouragements to teens and school teachers.
I also cherished her very direct and beautiful addendum "Mommy please don't go." If I already wasn't a full-time homemaker, that would've been the motherly advice I needed to come home.
I also cherished her very direct and beautiful addendum "Mommy please don't go." If I already wasn't a full-time homemaker, that would've been the motherly advice I needed to come home.
March 24, 2025
Such a refreshing book. I specifically loved the chapters on the kind wife, the kind husband, and parenting with kindness. There were so many good application points made throughout the book. It has made me evaluate my own life and encourage me to show kindness to others as I’ve been shown an immeasurable amount of kindness from the Lord. 💕
November 23, 2019
Mary Beeke did a good job of balancing kindness with truth. Many would prefer to throw out truth and Christian duty to play nice. Others (and I am so guilty of this sometimes) are so angry with the world that they forget to season their words.
"Kindness" is a fruit of the Spirit and Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
My only problem with the book is it's big focus (woven throughout the book and also with it's own decidicated chapters) on public schooling. While some of the advice could be applied to Christian schools, the situations given seemed more geared toward public schools, which I believe to be quite thoroughly wicked at this point. She even admits bullying and school shootings are big problems but doesn't decry the liberal agendas, goverment interference in the family, etc.
Despite Mrs. Beeke's bold stance against feminism and for stay-at-home moms (including an appendix titled "Mommy, please don't go!") she only vaguely mentions homeschooling as an option.
That said, I appreciate her boldness and sound doctrine in other areas. She speaks of kindness as sometimes looking like not enabling people in their sin, making sure to share the Gospel, etc.
There is even a section on the abortion holocaust and how the pre-born need our kindness by the millions.
She gives practical advice in many areas from arguements to hospitality, and with people within the Church and those from without.
I certainly saw many of my own flaws reflected back at me and my sinful pride took a hit. (Praise God!)
"Kindness" is a fruit of the Spirit and Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
My only problem with the book is it's big focus (woven throughout the book and also with it's own decidicated chapters) on public schooling. While some of the advice could be applied to Christian schools, the situations given seemed more geared toward public schools, which I believe to be quite thoroughly wicked at this point. She even admits bullying and school shootings are big problems but doesn't decry the liberal agendas, goverment interference in the family, etc.
Despite Mrs. Beeke's bold stance against feminism and for stay-at-home moms (including an appendix titled "Mommy, please don't go!") she only vaguely mentions homeschooling as an option.
That said, I appreciate her boldness and sound doctrine in other areas. She speaks of kindness as sometimes looking like not enabling people in their sin, making sure to share the Gospel, etc.
There is even a section on the abortion holocaust and how the pre-born need our kindness by the millions.
She gives practical advice in many areas from arguements to hospitality, and with people within the Church and those from without.
I certainly saw many of my own flaws reflected back at me and my sinful pride took a hit. (Praise God!)
February 4, 2019
Livro maravilhoso, um dos melhores livros cristãos que eu já li, a autora trata a bondade nas diferentes áreas, desde bondade como filha (o), marido, esposa, mãe, profissional, a bondade entre as crianças, os inimigos da bondade, os tipos de bondade, bondade no pensar, no falar. Um livro muito completo em si, fica difÃcil saber qual capÃtulo gostei mais.
April 21, 2019
Um livro extremamente prático para nos auxiliar a levar a bondade nas nossas ações. Pra esposas, maridos, filhos, pais, professores e qualquer cristão que deseja crescer nessa área.
December 3, 2020
Such a sweet and helpful book. I recommend for wives everywhere.
December 31, 2021
just ok.... sorry. i have respect for Joel Beeke... but this was very light. sweet and encouraging... LOTS of stories... but not to the underlying sin issues. just ok.
January 22, 2023
Too many stories for my taste. I get her point and there are so many good points and practicalities but the stories can be a lot.
February 22, 2023
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold
January 6, 2017
Kindness is an underrated virtue; few things are as powerful as kindness. Mary Beeke writes one of the clearest and most practical books on the subject. She addresses the nature of kindness generally, as well as specifically how kindness should manifest itself in a variety of relationships (husband, wife, children, etc.). Helpful sections on the subject of bullying and when teasing may go too far.
Mrs. Beeke is also one of the kindest individuals. So, this book is not mere theory.
Kindness and humility are two virtues worth pursuing, and two godly women have written top books on both subjects. Mary Beeke's book is a must on learning kindness. See Hannah Anderson's Humble Roots on the subject of humility. Both are clear, insightful, biblical, and root the subject material in Jesus.
Mrs. Beeke is also one of the kindest individuals. So, this book is not mere theory.
Kindness and humility are two virtues worth pursuing, and two godly women have written top books on both subjects. Mary Beeke's book is a must on learning kindness. See Hannah Anderson's Humble Roots on the subject of humility. Both are clear, insightful, biblical, and root the subject material in Jesus.
June 20, 2012
Love this book! It is so practical, with sound doctrine. Mary Beeke is said to be kindness personified and her book shows it.Her testimony of Joel Beeke is that he has never said one unkind word to her in their whole marriage!
March 30, 2017
A helpful and insight little book.
I really enjoyed reading this book.
It was challenging and encouraged me to think about how I treat others around me.
As a newlywed I found the chapter to wives very helpful and will be sharing the chapter to husband's with my husband.
I really enjoyed reading this book.
It was challenging and encouraged me to think about how I treat others around me.
As a newlywed I found the chapter to wives very helpful and will be sharing the chapter to husband's with my husband.
June 8, 2013
It had many good points, but was inconsistent and at times unrealistic. Its a good quick read though.
February 28, 2014
So helpful. Practical, Scriptural and most convicting. A book that leads to action- which is the best kind.
April 5, 2017
A great and practical book on kindness and i appreciated the insight on bullying.
if kindness is a virtue that you are not sure of possessing, this book may help you see your heart in light and encourage you to pursue kindness.
if kindness is a virtue that you are not sure of possessing, this book may help you see your heart in light and encourage you to pursue kindness.
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