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Plain and Simple: A Woman's Journey to the Amish
Charmingly illustrated and refreshingly spare, Plain and Simple speaks to the seeker in each of us.
"I had an obsession with the Amish. Plan and simple. Objectively it made no sense. I, who worked hard at being special, fell in love with a people who valued being ordinary." So begins Sue Bender's story, the captivating and inspiring true story of a harried urban Californian moved by the beauty of a display of quilts to seek out and live with the Amish. Discovering lives shaped by unfamiliar yet comforting ideas about time, work, and community, Bender is gently coaxed to consider, "Is there another way to lead a good life?"
Her journey begins in a New York men's clothing store. There she is spellbound by the vibrant colors and stunning geometric simplicity of the Amish quilts "spoke directly to me," writes Bender. Somehow, "they went straight to my heart."
Heeding a persistent inner voice, Bender searches for Amish families willing to allow her to visit and share in there daily lives. Plain and Simple vividly recounts sojourns with two Amish families, visits during which Bender enters a world without television, telephone, electric light, or refrigerators; a world where clutter and hurry are replaced with inner quiet and calm ritual; a world where a sunny kitchen "glows" and "no distinction was made between the sacred and the everyday."
In nine interrelated chapters--as simple and elegant as a classic nine-patch Amish quilt--Bender shares the quiet power she found reflected in lives of joyful simplicity, humanity, and clarity. The fast-paced, opinionated, often frazzled Bender returns home and reworks her "crazy-quilt" life, integrating the soul-soothing qualities she has observed in the Amish, and celebrating the patterns in the Amish, and celebrating the patterns formed by the distinctive "patches" of her own life.
"I had an obsession with the Amish. Plan and simple. Objectively it made no sense. I, who worked hard at being special, fell in love with a people who valued being ordinary." So begins Sue Bender's story, the captivating and inspiring true story of a harried urban Californian moved by the beauty of a display of quilts to seek out and live with the Amish. Discovering lives shaped by unfamiliar yet comforting ideas about time, work, and community, Bender is gently coaxed to consider, "Is there another way to lead a good life?"
Her journey begins in a New York men's clothing store. There she is spellbound by the vibrant colors and stunning geometric simplicity of the Amish quilts "spoke directly to me," writes Bender. Somehow, "they went straight to my heart."
Heeding a persistent inner voice, Bender searches for Amish families willing to allow her to visit and share in there daily lives. Plain and Simple vividly recounts sojourns with two Amish families, visits during which Bender enters a world without television, telephone, electric light, or refrigerators; a world where clutter and hurry are replaced with inner quiet and calm ritual; a world where a sunny kitchen "glows" and "no distinction was made between the sacred and the everyday."
In nine interrelated chapters--as simple and elegant as a classic nine-patch Amish quilt--Bender shares the quiet power she found reflected in lives of joyful simplicity, humanity, and clarity. The fast-paced, opinionated, often frazzled Bender returns home and reworks her "crazy-quilt" life, integrating the soul-soothing qualities she has observed in the Amish, and celebrating the patterns in the Amish, and celebrating the patterns formed by the distinctive "patches" of her own life.
176 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1990
63 people are currently reading
1953 people want to read
About the author
Sue Bender
16books57followersBorn in New York City, Sue Bender received her BA from Simmons College and her MA from the Harvard University School of Education. She taught high school in New York and English at the Berlitz School in Switzerland. She later earned a Masters in Social Work from the University of California at Berkeley. During her active years as a family therapist, Bender was founder and Director of CHOICE: The Institute of the Middle Years. In addition to being an author and former therapist, Sue Bender is a ceramic artist and much sought after lecturer nationwide. She lives in Berkeley, California with her husband Richard, and is the mother of two grown sons.
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May 5, 2011
I hadn't taken "Plain and Simple" off my shelf in ages, so when I just did, I was surprised that I wrote in the margins my reaction to some of what she herself deems "a cloyingly sweet, rosy-colored-glasses rendition of my personal fairy tale, with me cast as the frog princess... with my new friends, the gentle, pious, hardworking, unself-conscious Amish, cast as the heroes and heroines." (Page 82).
She also describes herself on page 4 as someone who "organized her life around a series of black-and-white judgments."
If someone is going to understand the Amish from the outside looking in, they cannot be seeing things in black and white, and they cannot be looking through rose-colored glasses. And, perhaps more importantly, they will not get a balanced or nuanced view of them by living with two different families a few weeks at a time.
How someone manages to put a culture up on a pedestal and condescend them at the same time, I don't know, but Sue Bender somehow manages that. Take, for example, on page 41 when she wrote about having met Eli: "After meeting his chubby wife, I thought he looked as if he had come from a more modern generation that knew being fat wasn't healthy." On page 46 she wrote: "To my horror, breakfast consisted of sugared cereal with a dollop of honey and a few teaspoons of sugar added for good measure.... I was living in white sugar heaven. I mostly watched and nibbled on white bread toast, not ready to give up my regime of freshly squeezed orange juice, granola, whole wheat bread, and nonfat milk." And on page 57 she wrote: "'Pass the fat, pass the carbohydrates,' I imagine them saying. Each day we picked sweet, fresh strawberries, but before they reached the table, they'd been sabotaged by mounds of sugar." Bender was clearly judgmental about this Amish family's eating habits.
Bender goes on to criticize something that she completely missed as one of the few ways that Amish women get to express themselves -- most of them love to own and display pretty dishes. On page 58 she wrote: "In their world they chose well, but when faced with a bewildering array of choices in the outside community, they often chose unwisely. In fact, before the 1850s, when they led a spartan and isolated life, their homes were bare, but handsome." [I have written in the margin here, "How do you know?] "Now with affluence, many homes had fussy china proudly displayed in living room cupboards."
Considering Bender is so judgmental about these issues, it is completely off-putting to me that the more hefty issues are glossed over. This is how she dealt with the Amish limiting education to the eighth grade on page 62:
"The Amish leave school after the eighth grade because they fear further education might lead a person off the path of humility and toward a feeling of self-importance. Even so, every person I met spoke two languages, switching back and forth with ease, and understood high German that was used in the Sunday service, while I, with two master's degrees, remained mute in every foreign land I ever visited."
I have written in the margins, "By making this comparison, you make the issue of children leaving school so early simply disappear." In the next paragraph, Bender moves on to another subject, by asking Eli why the land is so beautiful.
I have written several posts and a paper on my website about this issue, which I happen to feel quite passionate about: Amish and Education, The Ramifications of Wisconsin vs. Yoder, and the full essay on my website: salomafurlong.com.
On page 65 Bender remarked about how Amish people looked so similar to one another with their dress. And she wrote: "But they could determine in an instant where someone belonged in their structured society."
My remarks to these are: "This is not always a good thing; it doesn't leave room for that individuality so important to you, when you are assigned a role. Think of the "black sheep" family in the community. 'Belonging' no longer has the same meaning when you have been cemented into that role." For more on this, I have written a post, which you can read on my blog aboutamish.blogspot.com called "Why I Left the Amish."
Sue Bender was one of the first people to make the misinformed claim that the "running around" period is: "... the time for teenagers to make a choice. That was what it was about. Making a conscious choice." I have written in the margins, "No, no and NO!" I wrote quite a few posts about this on my blog: To Leave or not to Leave, That Sticky Wicket, and Rumspringa Revisited.
To be fair, Bender did offer one sentence of commentary when she wrote: "I might have argued that the purpose of their early training was to indoctrinate them to make that crucial choice." Then she goes on to give statistics about how many Amish people leave and what their retention rates are. So, she basically left that issue dangling, by not going deeper.
Bender treats the issue of shunning in a similar fashion:
For me it seemed all or nothing. If you followed the rules, you belonged and reaped the benefits of a close-knit community. If you broke the rules, "you were on ice at home and in hot water in the community." If I had been able to talk to Eli about shunning, I could imagine him saying, "Standards must be met. If you care about your community, then commitment to the rules is important. Otherwise we'd disappear and just melt into the English world that surrounds us." For him it would be a crime not to support his principles.
In my estimation, when Bender changes to Eli's point of view, she completely avoids this weighty issue. She is willing to judge them for the food they eat and that they are "chubby," but not the far more fundamental issue of how they treat people who decide not to stay within the confines of the community in which they were raised. For my views on this issue, please see my blog posting, Shunning.
About the issue of the women's role in the community, she has to be in a hot air balloon to first mention it. She wrote on page 75:
When Gerry, the man who introduced me to the Yoders, invited me to join him and two Amish men in his hot-air balloon, I accepted. I was the first woman to go on the trip and was terrified every moment, but I went. From my perspective high up in the air, looking down at the patchwork of green fields, I thought it might be more fun to be an Amish man than an Amish woman.
I have written into the margin, "And you didn't realize this the first day?"
Bender goes on to ask these questions: "Was Emma jealous of my freedom? Did she think me brazen to be comfortable around men? Was I having such a good time at her expense? [ ] Did my presence in her home make her question her role or the strict rules that governed her life?" I have written in the margins, "By dangling these questions out there, you don't have to deal with the gender inequality among the Amish."
Bender then went on to describe Emma's lack of confidence in the outside world, and how her home was a sanctuary, and how she had a clear picture of "the right way to be." Then, in half a sentence, she finally hit on the real issue, "It is true she didn't get to choose it..." She then glossed over this by describing how Emma doesn't question and how she knew what she did mattered. Bender clearly had an aversion to grappling with the difficult issues.
Bender claimed she "heard voices" about visiting the Amish. After her first visit, she found another family in a different community who would allow her to visit them. She described the desire to belong, but then there is an abrupt shift when she wrote on page 119: "Suddenly, while churning butter one day, I knew part of this journey was over. There were no more questions I needed to ask. This seemingly irrational process that had propelled me first to Iowa, and then to Ohio, was finished. I knew it totally, in every cell."
Several paragraphs later, Bender described the voice she heard that told her to write down her story. I wrote this in the margin: "If this 'voice' is real, and not just a way of justifying this book, it still does not excuse you of the obligation of getting permission from the people you visited to write about them. As it is, you managed to both exploit these people and romanticize them at the same time."
Another aspect of this book that would have been more appropriate as an inner conflict, but was externalized -- Bender was very concerned about keeping her options open, and not committing to anything. After her journey to the Amish, which she described as ordered, plain, and simple, [all the things she wished she was] this conflict intensified. She described this in her struggle about putting together a nine-patch quilt on page 136: "I worked without a plan -- letting the Amish take over. Just as I was about to sew the individual nine pieces together, I saw that they didn't need sewing. Even that was too much control. If they were to succeed, they had to just be." On the next page she continued this conflict: "I'm not going to stitch them together. Nothing is fixed, and there is no right way for them to be."
My response: "What would be the worst thing that could happen if you sewed together a nine-patch quilt? Would you be committing yourself to something you might want to change later? Then sew another one! Your desire to keep things open-ended turns out to be ambivalent and a lack of commitment to being yourself. Sew it together, for God's sakes! After all, by NOT sewing it together, you are committing yourself to not having a quilt, but rather having fragments of fabric -- what a symbol of life that is!
Towards the end of the book, I thought she was getting it when she wrote on page 141: "But there is a big difference between having many choices and making a choice. Making a choice -- declaring what is essential -- creates a framework for a life that eliminates many choices but gives meaning to the things that remain."
I thought she finally had it, then on the following page, she declared: "Life's all about moving your patches around..."
My response: No, no, NO! It's about the process and product of making a quilt! You cannot move around the birth of a child, marriages, graduations, deaths. They happened at a given time, in a given place. Our experiences and how we respond to them are what shape us. Don't you see? -- endlessly moving around those patches is the same struggle as you started this book with -- having all your possibilities open, and not committing to anything.
It seems to me that an unnamed friend had it right when she said [page 88], "You love and admire the Amish, but you cannot live like them." [ ] "Maybe you can't bear to believe it... It was a personal and almost perverse quest for serenity and simplicity that is not in your nature to achieve. You are an artist, and you can't be contained like the Amish. You're too rebellious."
I have written into the margin: "Your response?" Bender gave us none. Mine can be summed up in one word: Amen.
She also describes herself on page 4 as someone who "organized her life around a series of black-and-white judgments."
If someone is going to understand the Amish from the outside looking in, they cannot be seeing things in black and white, and they cannot be looking through rose-colored glasses. And, perhaps more importantly, they will not get a balanced or nuanced view of them by living with two different families a few weeks at a time.
How someone manages to put a culture up on a pedestal and condescend them at the same time, I don't know, but Sue Bender somehow manages that. Take, for example, on page 41 when she wrote about having met Eli: "After meeting his chubby wife, I thought he looked as if he had come from a more modern generation that knew being fat wasn't healthy." On page 46 she wrote: "To my horror, breakfast consisted of sugared cereal with a dollop of honey and a few teaspoons of sugar added for good measure.... I was living in white sugar heaven. I mostly watched and nibbled on white bread toast, not ready to give up my regime of freshly squeezed orange juice, granola, whole wheat bread, and nonfat milk." And on page 57 she wrote: "'Pass the fat, pass the carbohydrates,' I imagine them saying. Each day we picked sweet, fresh strawberries, but before they reached the table, they'd been sabotaged by mounds of sugar." Bender was clearly judgmental about this Amish family's eating habits.
Bender goes on to criticize something that she completely missed as one of the few ways that Amish women get to express themselves -- most of them love to own and display pretty dishes. On page 58 she wrote: "In their world they chose well, but when faced with a bewildering array of choices in the outside community, they often chose unwisely. In fact, before the 1850s, when they led a spartan and isolated life, their homes were bare, but handsome." [I have written in the margin here, "How do you know?] "Now with affluence, many homes had fussy china proudly displayed in living room cupboards."
Considering Bender is so judgmental about these issues, it is completely off-putting to me that the more hefty issues are glossed over. This is how she dealt with the Amish limiting education to the eighth grade on page 62:
"The Amish leave school after the eighth grade because they fear further education might lead a person off the path of humility and toward a feeling of self-importance. Even so, every person I met spoke two languages, switching back and forth with ease, and understood high German that was used in the Sunday service, while I, with two master's degrees, remained mute in every foreign land I ever visited."
I have written in the margins, "By making this comparison, you make the issue of children leaving school so early simply disappear." In the next paragraph, Bender moves on to another subject, by asking Eli why the land is so beautiful.
I have written several posts and a paper on my website about this issue, which I happen to feel quite passionate about: Amish and Education, The Ramifications of Wisconsin vs. Yoder, and the full essay on my website: salomafurlong.com.
On page 65 Bender remarked about how Amish people looked so similar to one another with their dress. And she wrote: "But they could determine in an instant where someone belonged in their structured society."
My remarks to these are: "This is not always a good thing; it doesn't leave room for that individuality so important to you, when you are assigned a role. Think of the "black sheep" family in the community. 'Belonging' no longer has the same meaning when you have been cemented into that role." For more on this, I have written a post, which you can read on my blog aboutamish.blogspot.com called "Why I Left the Amish."
Sue Bender was one of the first people to make the misinformed claim that the "running around" period is: "... the time for teenagers to make a choice. That was what it was about. Making a conscious choice." I have written in the margins, "No, no and NO!" I wrote quite a few posts about this on my blog: To Leave or not to Leave, That Sticky Wicket, and Rumspringa Revisited.
To be fair, Bender did offer one sentence of commentary when she wrote: "I might have argued that the purpose of their early training was to indoctrinate them to make that crucial choice." Then she goes on to give statistics about how many Amish people leave and what their retention rates are. So, she basically left that issue dangling, by not going deeper.
Bender treats the issue of shunning in a similar fashion:
For me it seemed all or nothing. If you followed the rules, you belonged and reaped the benefits of a close-knit community. If you broke the rules, "you were on ice at home and in hot water in the community." If I had been able to talk to Eli about shunning, I could imagine him saying, "Standards must be met. If you care about your community, then commitment to the rules is important. Otherwise we'd disappear and just melt into the English world that surrounds us." For him it would be a crime not to support his principles.
In my estimation, when Bender changes to Eli's point of view, she completely avoids this weighty issue. She is willing to judge them for the food they eat and that they are "chubby," but not the far more fundamental issue of how they treat people who decide not to stay within the confines of the community in which they were raised. For my views on this issue, please see my blog posting, Shunning.
About the issue of the women's role in the community, she has to be in a hot air balloon to first mention it. She wrote on page 75:
When Gerry, the man who introduced me to the Yoders, invited me to join him and two Amish men in his hot-air balloon, I accepted. I was the first woman to go on the trip and was terrified every moment, but I went. From my perspective high up in the air, looking down at the patchwork of green fields, I thought it might be more fun to be an Amish man than an Amish woman.
I have written into the margin, "And you didn't realize this the first day?"
Bender goes on to ask these questions: "Was Emma jealous of my freedom? Did she think me brazen to be comfortable around men? Was I having such a good time at her expense? [ ] Did my presence in her home make her question her role or the strict rules that governed her life?" I have written in the margins, "By dangling these questions out there, you don't have to deal with the gender inequality among the Amish."
Bender then went on to describe Emma's lack of confidence in the outside world, and how her home was a sanctuary, and how she had a clear picture of "the right way to be." Then, in half a sentence, she finally hit on the real issue, "It is true she didn't get to choose it..." She then glossed over this by describing how Emma doesn't question and how she knew what she did mattered. Bender clearly had an aversion to grappling with the difficult issues.
Bender claimed she "heard voices" about visiting the Amish. After her first visit, she found another family in a different community who would allow her to visit them. She described the desire to belong, but then there is an abrupt shift when she wrote on page 119: "Suddenly, while churning butter one day, I knew part of this journey was over. There were no more questions I needed to ask. This seemingly irrational process that had propelled me first to Iowa, and then to Ohio, was finished. I knew it totally, in every cell."
Several paragraphs later, Bender described the voice she heard that told her to write down her story. I wrote this in the margin: "If this 'voice' is real, and not just a way of justifying this book, it still does not excuse you of the obligation of getting permission from the people you visited to write about them. As it is, you managed to both exploit these people and romanticize them at the same time."
Another aspect of this book that would have been more appropriate as an inner conflict, but was externalized -- Bender was very concerned about keeping her options open, and not committing to anything. After her journey to the Amish, which she described as ordered, plain, and simple, [all the things she wished she was] this conflict intensified. She described this in her struggle about putting together a nine-patch quilt on page 136: "I worked without a plan -- letting the Amish take over. Just as I was about to sew the individual nine pieces together, I saw that they didn't need sewing. Even that was too much control. If they were to succeed, they had to just be." On the next page she continued this conflict: "I'm not going to stitch them together. Nothing is fixed, and there is no right way for them to be."
My response: "What would be the worst thing that could happen if you sewed together a nine-patch quilt? Would you be committing yourself to something you might want to change later? Then sew another one! Your desire to keep things open-ended turns out to be ambivalent and a lack of commitment to being yourself. Sew it together, for God's sakes! After all, by NOT sewing it together, you are committing yourself to not having a quilt, but rather having fragments of fabric -- what a symbol of life that is!
Towards the end of the book, I thought she was getting it when she wrote on page 141: "But there is a big difference between having many choices and making a choice. Making a choice -- declaring what is essential -- creates a framework for a life that eliminates many choices but gives meaning to the things that remain."
I thought she finally had it, then on the following page, she declared: "Life's all about moving your patches around..."
My response: No, no, NO! It's about the process and product of making a quilt! You cannot move around the birth of a child, marriages, graduations, deaths. They happened at a given time, in a given place. Our experiences and how we respond to them are what shape us. Don't you see? -- endlessly moving around those patches is the same struggle as you started this book with -- having all your possibilities open, and not committing to anything.
It seems to me that an unnamed friend had it right when she said [page 88], "You love and admire the Amish, but you cannot live like them." [ ] "Maybe you can't bear to believe it... It was a personal and almost perverse quest for serenity and simplicity that is not in your nature to achieve. You are an artist, and you can't be contained like the Amish. You're too rebellious."
I have written into the margin: "Your response?" Bender gave us none. Mine can be summed up in one word: Amen.
February 10, 2017
This book was given to me as a gift with the proviso that I return it to the giver when finished. I read it quickly and then read it again slowly, over a period of months. It has a simple, clear style: the short paragraphs remind one of a literally simple but intellectually dense Buddhist discussion on wakefulness and being. Author Bender makes a journey that many of us might make in a lifetime: from a cluttered, busy, “what am I missing?� lifestyle to one that is far less dense. “You are missing nothing important,� a Buddhist might say.
One day many years ago, Bender the artist saw some old Amish quilts used to showcase men’s tweed clothing in an artful display in a boutique on Long Island. She went back several times to view the quilts, and realized that there was something understated and truly unique in the style:
Bender the artist sought, and found, a way into the community that could produce such work. She lived with different groups of Amish for periods of weeks over a period of years in Iowa and Ohio. She learned that the larger group called “Amish� has different sects which live differently, but generally it is a group which focuses on living as a community, each producing what it can so that the whole functions harmoniously.
She did work on a quilt or two, but mostly she was involved in understanding the lifestyle in which someone can produce art but whose work is as prized as someone else. This joy in the process, rather than the finish or the glory, seemed profound to Bender. She developed an attachment for the nine-patch pattern, and in one of the last chapters, pulls her experiences together in nine observations that serve to calm and direct her when life threatens to subsume her once again.
Bender has worked to eliminate the clutter from the book, so it is calming to read and has many one-liners that make good daily fare for musing and developing one’s spiritual muscle. One of my favorites: “I learned there is nothing simple about the ninepatch.�
The line drawings decorating the book are just the right touch, and the color plates chosen for the removable dust jacket also leave one looking and thinking deeper. All in all, Bender has succeeded in creating something lasting that can help us get through the bad “patches� in our own lives, and seek the serenity of being at home in our own skins. “Miracles come after a lot of hard work.� A joy, and a classic.
One day many years ago, Bender the artist saw some old Amish quilts used to showcase men’s tweed clothing in an artful display in a boutique on Long Island. She went back several times to view the quilts, and realized that there was something understated and truly unique in the style:
”Odd color combinations. Deep saturated solid colors: purple, mauve, green, brown, magenta, electric blue, red. Simple geometric forms: squares, diamonds, rectangles. A patina of use emanated from them�
The basic forms were tempered by tiny, intricate black quilting stitches. The patterns—tulips, feathers, wreaths, pineapples, and stars—softened and complemented the hard lines, and the contrast of simple pattern and complex stitchery face the flat, austere surface and added dimension.
At first the colors looked somber, but then—looking closely at a large field of brown—I discovered that it was really made of small patches of many different shades and textures of color. Greys and shiny dark and dull light brown, dancing side by side, made the flat surface come alive. Lush greens lay beside vivid reds. An electric blue appeared as if from nowhere on the border.
The relationship of the individual parts to the whole, the proportion, the way the inner and outer borders reacted with each other was a balancing act between tension and harmony…How could a quilt be calm and intense at the same time?�
Bender the artist sought, and found, a way into the community that could produce such work. She lived with different groups of Amish for periods of weeks over a period of years in Iowa and Ohio. She learned that the larger group called “Amish� has different sects which live differently, but generally it is a group which focuses on living as a community, each producing what it can so that the whole functions harmoniously.
She did work on a quilt or two, but mostly she was involved in understanding the lifestyle in which someone can produce art but whose work is as prized as someone else. This joy in the process, rather than the finish or the glory, seemed profound to Bender. She developed an attachment for the nine-patch pattern, and in one of the last chapters, pulls her experiences together in nine observations that serve to calm and direct her when life threatens to subsume her once again.
1. Patch #1 VALUING THE PROCESS/VALUING THE PRODUCT
2. Patch #2 LIVING IN TIME
3. Patch #3 CELEBRATING THE ORDINARY
4. Patch #4 HOME
5. Patch #5 COMMUNITY
6. Patch #6 LIFE AS ART
7. Patch #7 LIMITS AS FREEDOM
8. Patch #8 POWER OF CONTRAST
9. Patch #9 CHOICE
Bender has worked to eliminate the clutter from the book, so it is calming to read and has many one-liners that make good daily fare for musing and developing one’s spiritual muscle. One of my favorites: “I learned there is nothing simple about the ninepatch.�
The line drawings decorating the book are just the right touch, and the color plates chosen for the removable dust jacket also leave one looking and thinking deeper. All in all, Bender has succeeded in creating something lasting that can help us get through the bad “patches� in our own lives, and seek the serenity of being at home in our own skins. “Miracles come after a lot of hard work.� A joy, and a classic.
June 25, 2007
A had problems deciding what rating to give this book. I hovered between a two star and a three star and finally decided to be generous and give it a three. It's a very fast read and while it was nicely written I felt like this was one of those "all about me" books instead of giving the reader any real insight into the alleged purpose of the book - to better understand the Amish and their culture. Either way, this book wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but it is still a nice, quiet little book that discusses the Amish lifestyle and its effect on the author.
Sue Bender says became fascinated with the Amish way of life when she saw an Amish Quilt on display back in her adolescence. She eventually wheedles her way into an Amish home in order to "experience" their culture. She is pretty upfront about describing this as a personal spiritual journey in order to bring real meaning t to her own life. Lord I hate that phrase. Why do I care? I guess I really was expecting to find more about the daily life of the Amish instead of the daily life of Sue Bender. However when she did get around to describing their life and culture (filtered through her eyes) it was sort of interesting.
It was a quick read and I'm glad I almost finished it before I gave up. Would I recommend it? I don't think so.
Sue Bender says became fascinated with the Amish way of life when she saw an Amish Quilt on display back in her adolescence. She eventually wheedles her way into an Amish home in order to "experience" their culture. She is pretty upfront about describing this as a personal spiritual journey in order to bring real meaning t to her own life. Lord I hate that phrase. Why do I care? I guess I really was expecting to find more about the daily life of the Amish instead of the daily life of Sue Bender. However when she did get around to describing their life and culture (filtered through her eyes) it was sort of interesting.
It was a quick read and I'm glad I almost finished it before I gave up. Would I recommend it? I don't think so.
September 12, 2012
Sue Bender is an artist who became fascinated by Amish quilts and dolls. She wanted to learn more about simplified living, so she found an Amish family and stayed with them for a few weeks. Sue's writing is as spare and stripped down as an Amish household, but I appreciated some of her observations. One insight is that the Amish people she met didn't treat anything as an unpleasant chore. Instead, all work was valued and honorable, and there was no need to rush to accomplish tasks. She was also moved by the spirit of community the Amish have, with families always helping those in need. Sue was dismayed when she returned to her home and realized how competitive and isolated modern life is compared to an Amish family's.
While Sue admitted she could never truly be Amish, she seemed profoundly moved by the experience of spending time with them.
While Sue admitted she could never truly be Amish, she seemed profoundly moved by the experience of spending time with them.
December 29, 2013
Based on the subtitle, A ´dz’s Journey to the Amish, I guess this is supposed to be a book for women and I am just attracted to it because I am a contrary man. So men can’t be interested in a simpler life? OK, so almost all the reviews and ratings are by women. (I looked through about a dozen pages and found less than a handful of male raters.) So I guess GR men are pretty much not interested. Such a shame for us men.
You could probably label this a self-help book and maybe that explains the exclusivity with women. The Amish life, like the Quaker life, has long been an interest and curiosity for me. I am drawn to and repulsed at the same time. I see the Amish as very conservative: women have predominantly domestic roles of mother and homemaker; the Bible is taken literally as a guide.
This is a short book with the author’s summary and conclusions at the end of the book. This makes it an eminently re-readable book. Plain and Simple requires an open mind to work its way. Some things made me fume. Like this:
What I object to so strenuously here is the She-ness of it all. Why is this something that is so specific for women? Could this not be true for an Amish man, and not just a woman? The fact that roles and rules are so gender-specific is abhorrent to me. And it does seem like one conclusion of the author is that we should be flexible and open and tolerant.
Sue Bender concludes:
This is a four star book that I read in a day and that made me think. It ruffled me as it challenged me to think about CHOICE.
I must ponder if I think that is true!
You could probably label this a self-help book and maybe that explains the exclusivity with women. The Amish life, like the Quaker life, has long been an interest and curiosity for me. I am drawn to and repulsed at the same time. I see the Amish as very conservative: women have predominantly domestic roles of mother and homemaker; the Bible is taken literally as a guide.
This is a short book with the author’s summary and conclusions at the end of the book. This makes it an eminently re-readable book. Plain and Simple requires an open mind to work its way. Some things made me fume. Like this:
Home is the focus for an Amish woman. The way she lives reflects her faith. With no special icons, her home glows in every corner with spiritual meaning. Home is as much an expression of who she is as any art work, a place where she can practice what she believes.
What I object to so strenuously here is the She-ness of it all. Why is this something that is so specific for women? Could this not be true for an Amish man, and not just a woman? The fact that roles and rules are so gender-specific is abhorrent to me. And it does seem like one conclusion of the author is that we should be flexible and open and tolerant.
This isn’t a story about miracles, instant transformations, or happy endings. My journey to the Amish did not deliver a big truth. . . . I had hoped for a clean slate, imagined the old me magically disappearing and a totally new me in its place. That didn’t happen. Nothing of the old me disappeared. I found an old me, a new me, an imperfect me, and a beginning of a new acceptance of all the me’s. . . . What I was learning was never what I expected. What I am learning doesn’t stay with me all the time; but I have glimpses, then it slips away. When I started this journey, I had a picture of the right way to be and the right things to do. Living with the Amish changed all that. Now this quilt, this book, this life is teaching me to trust, no matter what life turns out to be � even if it is not what I expected, or what I thought I wanted.
Sue Bender concludes:
The Amish had found an answer to the question, “How can I live a good life?� They modeled another way to be. Their view of the world is different than mine, so they reached different conclusions about how to live. Their conclusions are not THE WAY, but one way � a way that works for them. Their life is a celebration of the ordinary.
This is a four star book that I read in a day and that made me think. It ruffled me as it challenged me to think about CHOICE.
Before I went to the Amish, I thought that the more choices I had, the luckier I’d be. But there is a big difference between having many choices and making a choice. Making a choice � declaring what is essential � creates a framework for a life that eliminates many choices but gives meaning to the things that remain. Satisfaction comes from giving up wishing I was somewhere else or doing something else.
I must ponder if I think that is true!
September 26, 2009
I did not like this book. I liked learning a bit about the Amish, but the information is so basic, with so little insight, that I could have probably learned the same from a Wikipedia article. I get that the author is "simply" writing about her experience living with a couple Amish families for a few weeks. The two families can hardly stand for the whole of Amish life, which she fully admits, so most of what Ms. Bender observes is very specific to these families.
So what's the point? It could be a book about the impact on the author but the changes in her life that she describes are so meaningless. For example, she relates how long after returning from her Amish visit, she renovates her kitchen and uses the Amish kitchen as inspiration, making everything white and uncluttered. ??? What does white counter tops in a modern kitchen have to do with a simple, religious life?
Her motivation for visiting the Amish was an art project she was doing involving recreating quilt squares from old Amish quilts and aging them so they kinda look authentic and displaying them in some unconventional way. I think this sums up the whole problem. Old Amish quilts are beautiful because of the specific circumstances and restrictions in and under which they were created. I realize that the author is trying to create Art, not something beautiful, but what does her art say: I'm a bad imitation of the original with no insightful commentary?
Lastly, I thought the author grossly understated the role of religious faith in the Amish way of life. The author makes repeated statements about how she'd like to incorporate more of the Amish ways into her own life, but she could never live like them because she is too rebellious, etc. But the Amish "way of life" is not simply a lifestyle choice. The people live this way mostly because they believe that God wants them to live this way and/or by living this way, they are closer to God.
As with many other religions, people struggle and hopefully overcome their worldly natures to follow a higher code. In the name of faith, people learn to pray, keep the Sabbath day holy, abstain from various activities, practice selfless service, etc. People do these things because they have faith and they think that God wants them to do these things. I suspect many Amish people have temptations and doubts like the rest of us, but find strength through faith as well as community support and tradition. Of course, it's possible to implement lessons learned from the Amish into a mainstream modern life and reap some of the benefits. But to recreate the end result that the author envies, the calm peace and security she feels in the Amish home and family life, she would have first convert to the faith, which drives all the actions in that community.
So what's the point? It could be a book about the impact on the author but the changes in her life that she describes are so meaningless. For example, she relates how long after returning from her Amish visit, she renovates her kitchen and uses the Amish kitchen as inspiration, making everything white and uncluttered. ??? What does white counter tops in a modern kitchen have to do with a simple, religious life?
Her motivation for visiting the Amish was an art project she was doing involving recreating quilt squares from old Amish quilts and aging them so they kinda look authentic and displaying them in some unconventional way. I think this sums up the whole problem. Old Amish quilts are beautiful because of the specific circumstances and restrictions in and under which they were created. I realize that the author is trying to create Art, not something beautiful, but what does her art say: I'm a bad imitation of the original with no insightful commentary?
Lastly, I thought the author grossly understated the role of religious faith in the Amish way of life. The author makes repeated statements about how she'd like to incorporate more of the Amish ways into her own life, but she could never live like them because she is too rebellious, etc. But the Amish "way of life" is not simply a lifestyle choice. The people live this way mostly because they believe that God wants them to live this way and/or by living this way, they are closer to God.
As with many other religions, people struggle and hopefully overcome their worldly natures to follow a higher code. In the name of faith, people learn to pray, keep the Sabbath day holy, abstain from various activities, practice selfless service, etc. People do these things because they have faith and they think that God wants them to do these things. I suspect many Amish people have temptations and doubts like the rest of us, but find strength through faith as well as community support and tradition. Of course, it's possible to implement lessons learned from the Amish into a mainstream modern life and reap some of the benefits. But to recreate the end result that the author envies, the calm peace and security she feels in the Amish home and family life, she would have first convert to the faith, which drives all the actions in that community.
April 18, 2017
Re: an Amish kitchen: "But the room glowed. The feeling went beyond everyday cleanliness and order. The air felt alive, almost vibrating. Can a room have a heartbeat? Can space be serene and exciting at the same time? I'd never been in a room that felt like that."
"No one rushed. Each step was done with care. The women moved through the day unhurried. There was no rushing to finish so they could get onto the "important things." For them, it was all important."
"Which parts of today's process were a chore? Which were fun? There seemed to be no separation for them. Time was full and generous. It was as if they had uncovered a way to be in time, to be a part of time, to have a harmonious relation with time. For me time was a burden. There was never enough of it."
"No distinction was made between the sacred and the everyday. Five minutes in the early morning and five minutes in the evening were devoted to prayer. The rest of the day was spent living their beliefs. Their life was all one piece. It was all sacred - and all ordinary. They practiced daily what they believed."
"I longed for a group whose members needed and made demands on each other. But my friends and I have been taught to value independence, not to impose on each other. Deeper bonds meant creating obligations."
"No one rushed. Each step was done with care. The women moved through the day unhurried. There was no rushing to finish so they could get onto the "important things." For them, it was all important."
"Which parts of today's process were a chore? Which were fun? There seemed to be no separation for them. Time was full and generous. It was as if they had uncovered a way to be in time, to be a part of time, to have a harmonious relation with time. For me time was a burden. There was never enough of it."
"No distinction was made between the sacred and the everyday. Five minutes in the early morning and five minutes in the evening were devoted to prayer. The rest of the day was spent living their beliefs. Their life was all one piece. It was all sacred - and all ordinary. They practiced daily what they believed."
"I longed for a group whose members needed and made demands on each other. But my friends and I have been taught to value independence, not to impose on each other. Deeper bonds meant creating obligations."
September 14, 2017
This lady is irritating and doesn't really teach the reader much about Amish people. They're essentially a prop for her mid life crisis.
November 22, 2011
I enjoyed the insights in this book. I enjoyed the simple style. While I find the direction some of Bender's conclusions take to be a little confusing, I appreciated the overall idea.
This isn't a how-to book about how to live simply, nor is it a book about the Amish, really. It's about one woman's dissatisfaction with her harried life and the path she travels to live more deliberately. She doesn't become Amish (sorry for the spoiler), but from them she learns some important lessons about the value of process and product, and about how living deliberately isn't about acting in a certain way but about keeping one's values in mind when making decisions. She takes these lessons into her life and, rather than changing her life entirely, she just incorporates the lessons and gives them her own spin. She learns to choose the life she lives rather than just living it by default, and that seems to be the biggest difference by the end of the book.
I enjoyed watching Bender's growth from stereotype to an appreciation of the nuance in Amish society. She started out thinking of the Amish as all the same, part of a hive and indistinct as individuals, but she gradually learned to see them as individuals with similar struggles to ours. She gave an inkling of the differences between Amish sects, and I found it interesting to see that different communities have different rules while still remaining "Amish."
I especially liked Bender's portraits of the Amish women and how they pushed the limits of the roles allowed them in their community in small and large ways while still keeping sight of the importance of family and community. I loved the Amish midwives. Bender talks about the calm and strength she senses when she's in the presence of one of the Amish midwives; this is just how I feel when I hang out with homebirth midwives, especially those who've been doing it for thirty years or more.
I closed this book with a vague desire to quilt and to make my own clay dishes, but I think I'll table those ideas in the interest of simplicity for right now.
This isn't a how-to book about how to live simply, nor is it a book about the Amish, really. It's about one woman's dissatisfaction with her harried life and the path she travels to live more deliberately. She doesn't become Amish (sorry for the spoiler), but from them she learns some important lessons about the value of process and product, and about how living deliberately isn't about acting in a certain way but about keeping one's values in mind when making decisions. She takes these lessons into her life and, rather than changing her life entirely, she just incorporates the lessons and gives them her own spin. She learns to choose the life she lives rather than just living it by default, and that seems to be the biggest difference by the end of the book.
I enjoyed watching Bender's growth from stereotype to an appreciation of the nuance in Amish society. She started out thinking of the Amish as all the same, part of a hive and indistinct as individuals, but she gradually learned to see them as individuals with similar struggles to ours. She gave an inkling of the differences between Amish sects, and I found it interesting to see that different communities have different rules while still remaining "Amish."
I especially liked Bender's portraits of the Amish women and how they pushed the limits of the roles allowed them in their community in small and large ways while still keeping sight of the importance of family and community. I loved the Amish midwives. Bender talks about the calm and strength she senses when she's in the presence of one of the Amish midwives; this is just how I feel when I hang out with homebirth midwives, especially those who've been doing it for thirty years or more.
I closed this book with a vague desire to quilt and to make my own clay dishes, but I think I'll table those ideas in the interest of simplicity for right now.
October 28, 2008
One of the things I liked least about this book was that despite her apparent fascination about the Amish, I felt like Bender's tone was always a bit superior. She claimed to feel drawn to the simplicity and purpose of the Amish way of life, yet there always seemed to be a sense of, "Only the truly unenlightened would choose such a life." Perhaps since I come from a strong faith community myself I felt myself getting almost defensive about her seemingly voyeuristic stay with the Amish. Plus, after her first stay with an Amish family she seems to judge all Amish by this same family. She seems surprised during her second stay that there are such differences between the two families and communities. Clearly, members of any community are going to have vast differences and still be able to be productive members of their community culture.
I don't know whether this makes much sense...I am sleep-deprived!
I don't know whether this makes much sense...I am sleep-deprived!
June 25, 2008
Like the author, I have always had a fascination with the Amish. I find their culture interesting. The author actually lived with two different Amish families. She wanted to learn their ways and why they are the way they are. She thought that she could improve her art by studying their simple life style.
While her experiences were interesting, I thought she still didn't get it in the end. The lessons she learned she couldn't seem to apply directly to her life. I felt the real lesson to be learned was to look to your family, to find community within your family and then branch outward.
The book felt flimsy and forced. It probably would have served the same purpose for her if left to the pages in her journal.
While her experiences were interesting, I thought she still didn't get it in the end. The lessons she learned she couldn't seem to apply directly to her life. I felt the real lesson to be learned was to look to your family, to find community within your family and then branch outward.
The book felt flimsy and forced. It probably would have served the same purpose for her if left to the pages in her journal.
August 28, 2024
The Amish are always fascinating, and would've been more so if the author hadn't interjected herself everywhere. As a narrator she also is perhaps lacking emotional balance, so the reader must re~evaluate each word. Her most interesting revelation: "When expectation and achievement match, a person is content."
August 18, 2024
I really really loved this book. It was a huge discovery running around this second-hand bookshop in Koh Tao when I really wanted something inspiring to read. It took me quite a while to actually finish it because I've been bussy the past months but whenever I get a look at some of the page the inspiration I was looking for always flourished.
It is an amazing book, full of hope and also full of contradiction; as life itself.
I loved it, and I'd love for all of my closest people to read it. I firmly believe this book has changed the way I look and consider some things about my own life. It was a beautiful experience.
It is an amazing book, full of hope and also full of contradiction; as life itself.
I loved it, and I'd love for all of my closest people to read it. I firmly believe this book has changed the way I look and consider some things about my own life. It was a beautiful experience.
March 11, 2025
My mom gave me this book with good recommendations and I'm glad I read it. It reminded me to slow down, cultivate community, and enjoy the menial tasks of life.
I was surprised by the author's declaration to her husband that she was going to stay the summer with an Amish family, and really wanted to know his reaction to it. But she must not have thought it important enough to add those details.
I was surprised by the author's declaration to her husband that she was going to stay the summer with an Amish family, and really wanted to know his reaction to it. But she must not have thought it important enough to add those details.
August 3, 2021
This is a memoir and a journey as Bender examines her actions and thoughts, comparing them to what she observed while spending time with Amish families.
This is not a study of the Amish (nor does it claim to be). I wonder if she had permission from the families to include them in this book. And did she use their real names?
She makes this summarizing statement near the end of her story (p 146):
"I couldn't be Amish, and I down't want to be Amish, but I had a chance to observe a way of life that nurtures contentment.:
This is not a study of the Amish (nor does it claim to be). I wonder if she had permission from the families to include them in this book. And did she use their real names?
She makes this summarizing statement near the end of her story (p 146):
"I couldn't be Amish, and I down't want to be Amish, but I had a chance to observe a way of life that nurtures contentment.:
September 2, 2018
I really wanted to like this book. Instead I found myself waiting for the points in story of the Amish lifestyle and not as much of the authors story. The Amish stories were a bit glossed over - perhaps my hope was for more of their culture and beliefs. Her words came across as repetitive and increasingly self centered, despite her time in the Amish community and culture which is based in the exact opposite. Sue's time with the families she stayed with came across as disrespectful and rude at times, calling one wife 'chubby' certainly wasn't her best moment. She appeared somewhat intrusive versus seeking truth and guidance, the reason she claims to have started her journey. Immersing oneself in another culture shouldn't be used as therapy. It borders on mockery.
Overall my feelings are that this book failed to live up to its premise. By the end she was so focused on how her life had changed, the way she prided herself on living a simple life, the way her art was changing- it's as though she learned nothing from her time with the Amish and instead used it for personal gain rather than respecting the communities she visited.
Overall my feelings are that this book failed to live up to its premise. By the end she was so focused on how her life had changed, the way she prided herself on living a simple life, the way her art was changing- it's as though she learned nothing from her time with the Amish and instead used it for personal gain rather than respecting the communities she visited.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 13, 2008
This book is about a lady who seeks something, though she isn't sure what, among the amish. I found it intersting to learn a little about the amish people, though not a great deal. Her search away from the hustle and bustle of her everyday life lead to no definite questions and answers, but mostly to contemplate when unsure...what matters most, and then to simply. The biggest thing I took from this book was learning to find joy in every little task day to day, no matter what the task. It is finding joy and peace in each thing, not rushing through each one to move on to another. I have heard the book "Sanctuary" is also a book about the amish culture, if anyone is interested. Overall, this book was okay. It didn't change my life, but doesn't mean it can't change yours.
July 9, 2015
This book was a quick read, but it seemed a bit boring to me. It gave me a little insight into the Amish life, but it was fairly general and did not really connect me to any of the characters. There wasn't really a ton of detail on their religion or daily life except that they did each chore one at a time and worked hard to keep their houses clean. I kept wondering how the author just up and left her family and children for weeks at a time to live with the Amish without even mentioning them or feeling bad about it. I would definitely not do that. This book talked a lot about the quilts and what they symbolized, but it lacked excitement.
March 21, 2021
it is problematic in the sense that she is going to live with a community short term and writing about them as though she has fully understood who they are, and can speak for the community. With that being said, it’s a sweet book. Emphasizes the concept of excellence in every thing which is something I’ve been focusing on recently
May 20, 2017
I enjoyed this book, to begin with, because I grew up in Pennsylvania with 'Amish' people in my immediate environment, and neighbors who had chosen to stay 'out in the world' after their Rumspringa. This book written by a Berkeley woman artist - and I live in Berkeley and remember her first art exhibit - is filled with homely wisdom presented in a way that is not homely, which is quite an achievement in itself. Sue Bender was attracted by the simultaneous simplicity and complexity of the Amish 9-patch quilt pattern and by the 'faceless' dolls of the Amish. The dolls were very familiar to me and never seemed 'strange,' as an acquaintance once asked, but were simply a common part of life around me. I think I appreciated the idea of anonymity, even as a child. And now, as an adult, I realize just how countercultural the notion of choosing anonymity really is. Sue is very honest about her learning and gaining of qualities she needed from the Amish in order to complete her life, while at the same time not abandoning her authentic self. She's not trying to 'become Amish' but she is learning from the Amish and adapting what she learns to her own life as a woman artist in Berkeley. Perhaps the anonymity of the faceless dolls helped her to introduce a note of balance into her own striving for celebrity and uniqueness as an artist. The book is a good read, and the 'wisdom teaching' threaded through the pages is valuable and good. I definitely recommend this book.
August 12, 2023
Picked this up from my neighborhood wooden little library box. A great story, but I found myself getting a little lost in her deep reflection and kind of dissociating from the text during her inner dialogues. I think it’d be cool to visit the Amish. Primary lesson was to cherish the present and enjoy life even if it’s not what you expect. Moments in life are like patches of a quilt� you can’t understand the meaning of each moment until you patch them all together in a unique and beautiful quilt. Same idea as “the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.�
July 23, 2019
How good it feels to read a book in a day again! This is a short book, but still, I haven’t been able to do that in quite a while. I read it in a day, but I know I’ll be reflecting on the author’s experiences and insights over the coming days.
October 25, 2022
I read this about 20 years ago..or maybe more! It was a treasure then, as it is again now!
March 2, 2020
honestly, i just enjoyed this book because i deeply admire the way that the amish live. they are connected people who treasure the simplest and most beautiful aspects of life, may we all be a little more like the amish
August 8, 2020
A light summer read, but soothing while pushing me steadily along in my rejection of individualism.
October 26, 2017
I loved the way she described her journey to bring joy into her life and how the patchwork pieces all fit together when she was finally done. She told of her journey in a very conversational style, like she was talking to you personally. I found much that I will be able to put into my own life to make it more what I want it to be. Thank you Sharon for this wonderful book.
February 8, 2019
Quick and easy read but with lots to think about.
November 15, 2011
My dear friend Katherine gave me this book for my birthday, and it was a treat to read. Though I don't know if I could or would want to live just like the Amish, I have so much respect and appreciation for their principles and rules. Their life is focused around God and community. Through such focus comes great insight into what really is important in life, which Sue Bender shares with us through her experience and understanding. Some of the passages particularly stood out for me since, at this point in my life, I've just finished school and am looking for work. For some reason, I've always been a little afraid of work, which may explain why I chose to remain in school for 13 years after high school. Lately, I've been daydreaming about things that I would do after work and on weekends, treating work as something that I was forced to do in order to have fun - the soggy vegetable that had to be eaten before getting the ice cream. But here are a couple of quotes from Plain and Simple that highlight the Amish perspective on work:
"A child learns from a very early age the value of work - that work is enjoyable, important, and should be respected. The Amish find meaning in work itself. Work is never a stepping stone to personal success or advancement but a challenge to do whatever you are doing to the best of your ability." (p. 61)
"Their intention is to make things grow and do work that is useful... They work to work. Their work time isn't spent 'in order to do something else' - have free time on weekends, go to a restaurant, or save for a vacation retirement. They do not expect to find satisfaction in the vague 'something out there' but in the daily mastery of whatever they are doing." (p. 64)
Plain and Simple asks its reader, "What really matters?" I will come back to this book and that question often.
"A child learns from a very early age the value of work - that work is enjoyable, important, and should be respected. The Amish find meaning in work itself. Work is never a stepping stone to personal success or advancement but a challenge to do whatever you are doing to the best of your ability." (p. 61)
"Their intention is to make things grow and do work that is useful... They work to work. Their work time isn't spent 'in order to do something else' - have free time on weekends, go to a restaurant, or save for a vacation retirement. They do not expect to find satisfaction in the vague 'something out there' but in the daily mastery of whatever they are doing." (p. 64)
Plain and Simple asks its reader, "What really matters?" I will come back to this book and that question often.
February 20, 2011
I have just finished reading this book that I started years ago, for some reason reading up to page 136 and abandoning it without completing the final 13 pages. Recently updating my bookshelves (literal and ŷ) I rediscovered Plain and Simple and determined to take this off the "started" or "currently reading" shelves.
I cannot imagine why it has taken me so long to do this justice to myself and the book unless possibly "fate" knew revisiting it later would be important. It is a wonderful book which I immediately updated from 3 stars (attempted memory of years ago partial reading) to 5 stars. Furthermore I got my personal name embosser out and stamped it for the permanent library PLUS turned around and reread a good deal of the book from the beginning again in one sitting.
It is, in fact, a book that goes quickly, is divided into short "sections" of stories / paragraphs / insights that can be taken piece by piece randomly or cohesively. It is the story of Sue Bender's journey into the world of the Amish because of a "calling" she found through her admiration of Amish quilts. So the theme of quilting pieces together is an underlying theme, and in fact she equates her 3-year attempt at writing this book as "piecing" the parts of her story together even as she did her pieces of fabric for the quilt she made during the experience.
I highly recommend this book, perhaps especially for artists and creative people, but also for anyone who feels the anxiety of dealing with our world of busyness and "accomplishment" and too frequently lack of connection. May Sarton wrote of this book: "I haven't read such a nourishing book for a long time."
I cannot imagine why it has taken me so long to do this justice to myself and the book unless possibly "fate" knew revisiting it later would be important. It is a wonderful book which I immediately updated from 3 stars (attempted memory of years ago partial reading) to 5 stars. Furthermore I got my personal name embosser out and stamped it for the permanent library PLUS turned around and reread a good deal of the book from the beginning again in one sitting.
It is, in fact, a book that goes quickly, is divided into short "sections" of stories / paragraphs / insights that can be taken piece by piece randomly or cohesively. It is the story of Sue Bender's journey into the world of the Amish because of a "calling" she found through her admiration of Amish quilts. So the theme of quilting pieces together is an underlying theme, and in fact she equates her 3-year attempt at writing this book as "piecing" the parts of her story together even as she did her pieces of fabric for the quilt she made during the experience.
I highly recommend this book, perhaps especially for artists and creative people, but also for anyone who feels the anxiety of dealing with our world of busyness and "accomplishment" and too frequently lack of connection. May Sarton wrote of this book: "I haven't read such a nourishing book for a long time."
June 11, 2015
This story was actually plain and simple. I felt that Sue Bender was really not satisfied with her own life and would have fit very well in with the Amish, at least for a few years, but she was only there twice for brief periods of time.
At times I could see why she desired that lifestyle with its community, being cared for, and the love shown. But then she touched on the fact that they will shun members, and while that gave her a certain amount of discomfort, it didn't seem to give her enough. As a psychologist I would think that she would know what shunning does to a person, having been shunned myself by the Jehovah's Witnesses, I know only too well. I would think that would be enough to cause her to not desire to even stay there, but she just touches on that subject lightly.
But what makes the Amish more interesting to read about than say, the Jehovah's Witnesses? It is their community in which they all take care of each other and their not allowing members to have cars, phones, tvs, and any modern conveniences. The Jehovah's Witnesses, having all of these things, don't even help each other in regards to food or clothing when one of them is doing without. I remember being invited over to an elder's home for dinner, and his wife served me a sweet potato. That was all they had to eat. This, at least, would not happen amongst the Amish.
At times I could see why she desired that lifestyle with its community, being cared for, and the love shown. But then she touched on the fact that they will shun members, and while that gave her a certain amount of discomfort, it didn't seem to give her enough. As a psychologist I would think that she would know what shunning does to a person, having been shunned myself by the Jehovah's Witnesses, I know only too well. I would think that would be enough to cause her to not desire to even stay there, but she just touches on that subject lightly.
But what makes the Amish more interesting to read about than say, the Jehovah's Witnesses? It is their community in which they all take care of each other and their not allowing members to have cars, phones, tvs, and any modern conveniences. The Jehovah's Witnesses, having all of these things, don't even help each other in regards to food or clothing when one of them is doing without. I remember being invited over to an elder's home for dinner, and his wife served me a sweet potato. That was all they had to eat. This, at least, would not happen amongst the Amish.
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