What do you think?
Rate this book
How to Forget: A Daughter's Memoir
In this profoundly honest and examined memoir about returning to Iowa to care for her ailing parents, the star of Orange Is the New Black and author of Born with Teeth takes us on an unexpected journey of loss, betrayal, and the transcendent nature of a daughter’s love for her parents.
They say you can’t go home again. But when her father is diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer and her mother with atypical Alzheimer’s, New York-based actress Kate Mulgrew returns to her hometown in Iowa to spend time with her parents and care for them in the time they have left.
The months Kate spends with her parents in Dubuque—by turns turbulent, tragic, and joyful—lead her to reflect on each of their lives and how they shaped her own. Those ruminations are transformed when, in the wake of their deaths, Kate uncovers long-kept secrets that challenge her understanding of the unconventional Irish Catholic household in which she was raised.
Breathtaking and powerful, laced with the author’s irreverent wit, How to Forget is a considered portrait of a mother and a father, an emotionally powerful memoir that demonstrates how love fuses children and parents, and an honest examination of family, memory, and indelible loss.
They say you can’t go home again. But when her father is diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer and her mother with atypical Alzheimer’s, New York-based actress Kate Mulgrew returns to her hometown in Iowa to spend time with her parents and care for them in the time they have left.
The months Kate spends with her parents in Dubuque—by turns turbulent, tragic, and joyful—lead her to reflect on each of their lives and how they shaped her own. Those ruminations are transformed when, in the wake of their deaths, Kate uncovers long-kept secrets that challenge her understanding of the unconventional Irish Catholic household in which she was raised.
Breathtaking and powerful, laced with the author’s irreverent wit, How to Forget is a considered portrait of a mother and a father, an emotionally powerful memoir that demonstrates how love fuses children and parents, and an honest examination of family, memory, and indelible loss.
352 pages, Hardcover
First published May 21, 2019
626 people are currently reading
6274 people want to read
About the author
Kate Mulgrew
34Ìýbooks482Ìýfollowers Kate Mulgrew is an American actress noted for her roles as Captain Kathryn Janeway on Star Trek: Voyager, Mary Ryan on Ryan's Hope, and, most recently, Galina "Red" Reznikov on Orange Is the New Black. She has performed in numerous television shows, theater productions, and movies. She is the winner of a Golden Satellite Award, a Saturn Award, and an Obie Award and has been nominated for a Golden Globe and an Emmy.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 433 reviews
January 19, 2024
Narrated by the author, HOW TO FORGET: A DAUGHTER'S MEMOIR is an incredibly intimate and detailed account of how Kate Mulgrew and her family cared and provided for their sick parents.
In brief, her father had an aggressive form of lung cancer that spread throughout his body and her mother had Alzheimer's disease. I felt like I had to read this book as my dad also died from an aggressive form of lung cancer, and my mom is battling Alzheimer's disease right now.
I read Mulgrew's previous memoir BORN WITH TEETH, and I enjoyed it. She narrated that book as well. (She's an EXCELLENT narrator overall; I loved her performance of Joe Hill's NOS4A2.)
I found her account to be poignant and sad but I was also a bit peeved and I'll tell you why. This is a purely personal thing, and maybe it has a tinge of envy on my part, to be honest. In America, it is much easier to get old, get sick, or get old AND sick, if you have money. The choices available to you when you have money are varied and numerous. When you are poor or even middle class, that is not the case. Not everyone can take leave from their job to nurse a sick parent. Not everyone can hire people to move in with their parents to help take some of the burden off the family. Not everyone can buy an entire house to make caring for a family member easier either. It irked me that Ms. Mulgrew never acknowledged such in this book.
*Gets up on soapbox.* Let me be clear, I am not envious of Kate's money, she's an excellent actress, narrator and writer, she earned it. What I am envious of is the QUALITY OF CARE that Kate and her family were able to provide to their parents. Being a working class/middle class person, I cannot even begin to provide my mother the care she deserves. Quality of medical care and end of life care should not be based on wallet size. *Steps down from soapbox.*
That aside, I'm glad that I listened to this book. I feel less alone-I feel like other people have gone through what I am going through right now, and somehow that helps lessen my pain. I think I'm also able to empathize a bit more with my mom's situation, though I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it was viewing what she is going through, through a different set of eyes? Whatever the reason, I found myself more patient yesterday with my mom and I think that made it easier on both of us.
I recommend this book, especially to those trying to deal with sick parents, while still trying to work and maintain their own sanity. If only for the reason that HOW TO FORGET makes you feel less alone. Because that is no small thing.
*Thank you to my public library for the free audio download. Libraries RULE!*
In brief, her father had an aggressive form of lung cancer that spread throughout his body and her mother had Alzheimer's disease. I felt like I had to read this book as my dad also died from an aggressive form of lung cancer, and my mom is battling Alzheimer's disease right now.
I read Mulgrew's previous memoir BORN WITH TEETH, and I enjoyed it. She narrated that book as well. (She's an EXCELLENT narrator overall; I loved her performance of Joe Hill's NOS4A2.)
I found her account to be poignant and sad but I was also a bit peeved and I'll tell you why. This is a purely personal thing, and maybe it has a tinge of envy on my part, to be honest. In America, it is much easier to get old, get sick, or get old AND sick, if you have money. The choices available to you when you have money are varied and numerous. When you are poor or even middle class, that is not the case. Not everyone can take leave from their job to nurse a sick parent. Not everyone can hire people to move in with their parents to help take some of the burden off the family. Not everyone can buy an entire house to make caring for a family member easier either. It irked me that Ms. Mulgrew never acknowledged such in this book.
*Gets up on soapbox.* Let me be clear, I am not envious of Kate's money, she's an excellent actress, narrator and writer, she earned it. What I am envious of is the QUALITY OF CARE that Kate and her family were able to provide to their parents. Being a working class/middle class person, I cannot even begin to provide my mother the care she deserves. Quality of medical care and end of life care should not be based on wallet size. *Steps down from soapbox.*
That aside, I'm glad that I listened to this book. I feel less alone-I feel like other people have gone through what I am going through right now, and somehow that helps lessen my pain. I think I'm also able to empathize a bit more with my mom's situation, though I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it was viewing what she is going through, through a different set of eyes? Whatever the reason, I found myself more patient yesterday with my mom and I think that made it easier on both of us.
I recommend this book, especially to those trying to deal with sick parents, while still trying to work and maintain their own sanity. If only for the reason that HOW TO FORGET makes you feel less alone. Because that is no small thing.
*Thank you to my public library for the free audio download. Libraries RULE!*
February 6, 2022
"How To Forget: A Daughter's Memoir by Kate Mulgrew was a beautifully audiobook narrated by the author!
I was in awe of the beautiful writing skill in this memoir by Ms. Mulgrew. It was a work of artful prose!
This memoir encompasses Kate's return to the family home where she grew up in Dubuque, Iowa to care for each parent during their last weeks of life. Her father died of cancer and, two years later, her mother died of Alzheimer's Disease. In spite of the main topic being the death of both parents, Kate writes affectionately of all the living and loving she experienced and remembers from growing up as a member of a large Irish Catholic family.
Kate tells the history of both sides of her family, her maternal and paternal grandparents, how her mother and father met and how they loved deeply. She explains the hierarchy of her siblings, of which there are eight - Kate being the oldest girl. She shares the details of the loss of her sister, Tessie, at a young age and the impact her death had on her mother and father's relationship. She describes her father refusing to recognize when his wife began her long journey into Alzheimer's Decease and the palpable anger and blame he exhibited towards Kate for being "the one" to initiate a doctor's diagnosis.
This book brings me back to the sudden passing of my father from a massive coronary and the lingering decent of my mother's death from Alzheimer's Decease many years later. To lose the two family members who gave you life is heart wrenching. Whether it's a sudden death or a slow, lingering loss of the two people you hold so dear, it doesn't matter. The hole where they once were, is still a hole...
With this said, Kate's memoir is a work of love to her parents and to herself. It's also a lasting and loving written portrait of her family they can embrace forever.
I highly recommend this memoir!
I was in awe of the beautiful writing skill in this memoir by Ms. Mulgrew. It was a work of artful prose!
This memoir encompasses Kate's return to the family home where she grew up in Dubuque, Iowa to care for each parent during their last weeks of life. Her father died of cancer and, two years later, her mother died of Alzheimer's Disease. In spite of the main topic being the death of both parents, Kate writes affectionately of all the living and loving she experienced and remembers from growing up as a member of a large Irish Catholic family.
Kate tells the history of both sides of her family, her maternal and paternal grandparents, how her mother and father met and how they loved deeply. She explains the hierarchy of her siblings, of which there are eight - Kate being the oldest girl. She shares the details of the loss of her sister, Tessie, at a young age and the impact her death had on her mother and father's relationship. She describes her father refusing to recognize when his wife began her long journey into Alzheimer's Decease and the palpable anger and blame he exhibited towards Kate for being "the one" to initiate a doctor's diagnosis.
This book brings me back to the sudden passing of my father from a massive coronary and the lingering decent of my mother's death from Alzheimer's Decease many years later. To lose the two family members who gave you life is heart wrenching. Whether it's a sudden death or a slow, lingering loss of the two people you hold so dear, it doesn't matter. The hole where they once were, is still a hole...
With this said, Kate's memoir is a work of love to her parents and to herself. It's also a lasting and loving written portrait of her family they can embrace forever.
I highly recommend this memoir!
December 3, 2022
How to Forget: A Daughter’s Memoir by Kate Mulgrew
Non fiction recap of Kate’s memories of her mother’s life.
This story includes the life and impact and progress of disease on both her parents. Her father had an aggressive lung cancer at the end of his life and her mother developed Alzheimer’s. The text includes how she and her family dealt with each death from beginning to end as each of the parents succumbed. Some period history was mentioned for background and rounding out who they were.
It’s emotional, heartbreaking, and so typical of any family going through life, death and today’s typical diseases. I’m guessing most people will be able to relate to the loss on many levels. I know it jogged a lot of my own memories but at the same time recognizing that every loss is personal.
🎧 I listened to an audiobook copy of this for the majority of the book. It was narrated by Kate Mulgrew and brought the really personal feelings to the front.
I received an ARC of this book from a publisher conference where it was highly acclaimed and recommended. I agree. I think the author did a great job of dealing with death and disease and while it’s a heartbreaking story, it also normalizes the experience as we all experience something similar. At least that’s what I felt from reading this story.
Non fiction recap of Kate’s memories of her mother’s life.
This story includes the life and impact and progress of disease on both her parents. Her father had an aggressive lung cancer at the end of his life and her mother developed Alzheimer’s. The text includes how she and her family dealt with each death from beginning to end as each of the parents succumbed. Some period history was mentioned for background and rounding out who they were.
It’s emotional, heartbreaking, and so typical of any family going through life, death and today’s typical diseases. I’m guessing most people will be able to relate to the loss on many levels. I know it jogged a lot of my own memories but at the same time recognizing that every loss is personal.
🎧 I listened to an audiobook copy of this for the majority of the book. It was narrated by Kate Mulgrew and brought the really personal feelings to the front.
I received an ARC of this book from a publisher conference where it was highly acclaimed and recommended. I agree. I think the author did a great job of dealing with death and disease and while it’s a heartbreaking story, it also normalizes the experience as we all experience something similar. At least that’s what I felt from reading this story.
June 11, 2019
I didn't read Kate Mulgrew's earlier memoir () but this is really much more about her parents, particularly the ends of their lives and how she and her siblings were present for those long and painful periods of deterioration and change.
Mulgrew is perceptive but really only talks about herself in relation to everyone else.. maybe that's life in a giant family. It's a nice comparison of stoic Midwesterners and their New York City actress daughter.
I had a copy from William Morrow Books through Netgalley and it came out May 21, 2019.
Mulgrew is perceptive but really only talks about herself in relation to everyone else.. maybe that's life in a giant family. It's a nice comparison of stoic Midwesterners and their New York City actress daughter.
I had a copy from William Morrow Books through Netgalley and it came out May 21, 2019.
June 24, 2020
“He died first, quickly and quietly. It was like my father to outwit my mother, even at the end.�
This is a tender felt story of the death of Kate’s parents...
and
....siblings dealings...
.....messy, flawed, and real.
Coffee, cigarettes, vodka... were relished by her father.
Kate’s dad was 83 years old.
Kate’s brother, Joe, called to share the news. Their dad had cancer.
Joe knew that out of all the siblings, Kate was the one in the best position to get their father the care he needed.
And wow.... what a page turning intimate outstanding memoir Kate wrote!! I gobbled it in one restless night of not being able to sleep.
Kate Mulgrew is a screen and stage actress.
She was the star in the series, “Orange is the New Black�. She also wrote the the book called, “Born with Teeth�.
( a book I also want to read)
Kate was playing the role of Katherine Hepburn in a stage production- in West Palm Beach when she first got the news from about her dad.
How she went on stage that night, is beyond me.
Such a beautiful memoir about parents, siblings,( eight siblings), and about returning home - [to Iowa].
Kate’s father had lung cancer, that took him in three weeks. Her mother had Alzheimer’s disease. She died two years after her father.
I’m such a sucker for a family tale of sincerity like this one is.
We learned about Kate’s parents and her siblings, ( two died; heartbreaking for the entire family).
There was so much heartbreak in this family ....
But..
between the conflicts, secrets, silences, loss, constant family noise, children suffering and dying, there was love.
This is the first book I’ve read by Kate Mulgrew.
She’s not only a great actress but she’s a great storyteller.
Reflective, harrowing, and intimately revealing.
This is a tender felt story of the death of Kate’s parents...
and
....siblings dealings...
.....messy, flawed, and real.
Coffee, cigarettes, vodka... were relished by her father.
Kate’s dad was 83 years old.
Kate’s brother, Joe, called to share the news. Their dad had cancer.
Joe knew that out of all the siblings, Kate was the one in the best position to get their father the care he needed.
And wow.... what a page turning intimate outstanding memoir Kate wrote!! I gobbled it in one restless night of not being able to sleep.
Kate Mulgrew is a screen and stage actress.
She was the star in the series, “Orange is the New Black�. She also wrote the the book called, “Born with Teeth�.
( a book I also want to read)
Kate was playing the role of Katherine Hepburn in a stage production- in West Palm Beach when she first got the news from about her dad.
How she went on stage that night, is beyond me.
Such a beautiful memoir about parents, siblings,( eight siblings), and about returning home - [to Iowa].
Kate’s father had lung cancer, that took him in three weeks. Her mother had Alzheimer’s disease. She died two years after her father.
I’m such a sucker for a family tale of sincerity like this one is.
We learned about Kate’s parents and her siblings, ( two died; heartbreaking for the entire family).
There was so much heartbreak in this family ....
But..
between the conflicts, secrets, silences, loss, constant family noise, children suffering and dying, there was love.
This is the first book I’ve read by Kate Mulgrew.
She’s not only a great actress but she’s a great storyteller.
Reflective, harrowing, and intimately revealing.
March 1, 2019
After reading “Born With Teeth�, Kate Mulgrew’s first book and a gem of a memoir, I could not wait to hear that a second one would be coming.
“How to Forget� is a tremendous book! Not unlike the first memoir, I have swallowed it in a matter of hours, and then found myself needing several days to be able to articulate a more fitting opinion on it than simply “heart-rending�.
This memoir is first and foremost about the lives and deaths of Kate’s parents, and about how her relationship with either one of them had shaped her own life. A truly no-holds-barred journey through memories in turn fond and poignant, full of wit and of profound sadness, each one of them told in almost devastatingly vivid and starkly frank detail. Kate has an extraordinary gift as a storyteller; her narrative so engaging, it is impossible not to sink into each chapter. I have to stress that, as captivating as these stories are, the subject matter of the book is very real, bound to affect many readers, and I cannot help but admire Kate’s fortitude not only in living through these experiences but also in sharing them, as deeply personal as they are.
“How to Forget� is a tremendous book! Not unlike the first memoir, I have swallowed it in a matter of hours, and then found myself needing several days to be able to articulate a more fitting opinion on it than simply “heart-rending�.
This memoir is first and foremost about the lives and deaths of Kate’s parents, and about how her relationship with either one of them had shaped her own life. A truly no-holds-barred journey through memories in turn fond and poignant, full of wit and of profound sadness, each one of them told in almost devastatingly vivid and starkly frank detail. Kate has an extraordinary gift as a storyteller; her narrative so engaging, it is impossible not to sink into each chapter. I have to stress that, as captivating as these stories are, the subject matter of the book is very real, bound to affect many readers, and I cannot help but admire Kate’s fortitude not only in living through these experiences but also in sharing them, as deeply personal as they are.
December 9, 2022
5 Stars for How to Forget: A Daughter’s Memoir (audiobook) by Kate Mulgrew read by the author.
This is a really touching story of Kate Mulgrew first losing her father and then her mother. Her experiences are so relatable that it was hard for me to listen at times.
This is a really touching story of Kate Mulgrew first losing her father and then her mother. Her experiences are so relatable that it was hard for me to listen at times.
January 27, 2019
I hardly ever read memoirs or biographies, but sometimes they catch my eye. In this case it is the second book by Kate Mulgrew (an actress most will recognize as Captain Kathryn Janeway in Star Trek Voyager, or more recent in the series 'Orange is the new black'). A few years back she wrote 'Born with teeth', which was quite entertaining. She is a good and engaging author.
Again this is a memoir, but not so much about Kate herself, but about the relationship with her parents. She takes us on a vivid journey through their lives and deaths. Very detailed, at times very amusing or very sad, but always very entertaining. Her writing about experiences that are very private and emotional kept me glued to the pages.
I believe her stories will resonate with many. Pain, sorrow, joy and laughter, but above all else love and respect all come together in this book.
*** I requested and received a digital ARC via Edelweiss. This is my honest and voluntary review. ***
Again this is a memoir, but not so much about Kate herself, but about the relationship with her parents. She takes us on a vivid journey through their lives and deaths. Very detailed, at times very amusing or very sad, but always very entertaining. Her writing about experiences that are very private and emotional kept me glued to the pages.
I believe her stories will resonate with many. Pain, sorrow, joy and laughter, but above all else love and respect all come together in this book.
*** I requested and received a digital ARC via Edelweiss. This is my honest and voluntary review. ***
August 12, 2019
How to Forget
Families are messy. They are tender and precious; what you work and fight for; the tribe that holds the keys to Home, that place from which you run, or to which you return, at a run, or in a reluctant walk, or on a nostalgic shuffle. You know they have to let you in if you present yourself, however you present yourself. Families give you your first glimpses of how Pairs are going to feature in your life. Love/Hate. Happy/Sad. Hungry/Full. His/Hers. Easy/Difficult. Comfortable/Uncomfortable. Trust/Don’t.
Kate Mulgrew’s book, separated into two parts, the first about Dad, and the second about Mom. Within its pages she describes the love affair that started her parents� family, her own natal family, where Capt. Janeway was simply a part she played, one of many, in that means to an end, “a job.� Like her, I went from one day being as I always had been, the “kid� to full-blown caregiver for my parents as they aged, and passed. It was easy to follow along Kate’s story and sympathize, remember and pine. There’s an adjustment when you realize that what you had in your crazy family unit really was unrepeatable, priceless and rare. You wonder if it was enough, is there a way back to it, without giving up what you’ve gained in the meantime, and one is left at the Dead-End sign that turns you around, or forces you to create a new way.
I appreciated the author’s caring about capturing moments in her writing, and while there were assumptions as to what her muted parents may have been thinking, clearly as their child she was as expert as any human would be on that topic, having spent her childhood memorizing them. Narratives move an event along, but the moments, carefully presented with all their nooks and crannies are what makes a Tale, complete with sunshine and shadows. Kate Mulgrew did a very respectable job of this particularly dicey topic. Writing of one’s own parents falling apart cannot be an undemanding task, and there are so many ways to lose a willing audience even when it is the truth that is told! She kept me engaged, to the very last word.
I get it, Captain. Life is a worthy struggle. Death is, too.
Families are messy. They are tender and precious; what you work and fight for; the tribe that holds the keys to Home, that place from which you run, or to which you return, at a run, or in a reluctant walk, or on a nostalgic shuffle. You know they have to let you in if you present yourself, however you present yourself. Families give you your first glimpses of how Pairs are going to feature in your life. Love/Hate. Happy/Sad. Hungry/Full. His/Hers. Easy/Difficult. Comfortable/Uncomfortable. Trust/Don’t.
Kate Mulgrew’s book, separated into two parts, the first about Dad, and the second about Mom. Within its pages she describes the love affair that started her parents� family, her own natal family, where Capt. Janeway was simply a part she played, one of many, in that means to an end, “a job.� Like her, I went from one day being as I always had been, the “kid� to full-blown caregiver for my parents as they aged, and passed. It was easy to follow along Kate’s story and sympathize, remember and pine. There’s an adjustment when you realize that what you had in your crazy family unit really was unrepeatable, priceless and rare. You wonder if it was enough, is there a way back to it, without giving up what you’ve gained in the meantime, and one is left at the Dead-End sign that turns you around, or forces you to create a new way.
I appreciated the author’s caring about capturing moments in her writing, and while there were assumptions as to what her muted parents may have been thinking, clearly as their child she was as expert as any human would be on that topic, having spent her childhood memorizing them. Narratives move an event along, but the moments, carefully presented with all their nooks and crannies are what makes a Tale, complete with sunshine and shadows. Kate Mulgrew did a very respectable job of this particularly dicey topic. Writing of one’s own parents falling apart cannot be an undemanding task, and there are so many ways to lose a willing audience even when it is the truth that is told! She kept me engaged, to the very last word.
I get it, Captain. Life is a worthy struggle. Death is, too.
February 2, 2025
This is a fantastic memoir. Gorgeously written and incredibly intimate, Kate Mulgrew details the last few months of her parents� lives, as her father battled cancer and her mother Alzheimer’s. Interspersed throughout those present-day memories are stories of her parents from when she was a child, and when they themselves were young: how they met, and grew together, and how she and her siblings� relationships with them, like all of us, were at once loving and conflicted. This memoir is heartfelt, poignant, and moving, and I cannot recommend it highly enough.
May 24, 2019
I have read Kate Mulgrew's premiere memoir, "Born With Teeth" roughly five times and I had recently read it in April. When 'How To Forget' was announced and that it was about Mulgrew's relationship with her parents, I was instantly intrigued. I have been following Mulgrew's career for close to twenty years and I have heard a myriad of stories about her parents, her upbringing, her siblings and her mother's battle with Alzheimer's Disease. Where 'Born With Teeth' barely touched about that disease, I was interested to see how 'How To Forget' would expand upon it.
Mulgrew has an undeniable gift with words. She is fiercely articulate and I always find myself needing a dictionary close-to-hand when reading anything by her. In 'How To Forget,' I found myself being witness to my own thoughts appearing on a page written by someone that I have admired for two-thirds of my life. That surprised me and took me aback. I found myself being witness to a new and heartbreakingly vulnerable side to Mulgrew. She does not try to hide how her parents' illnesses and deaths broke her heart and broke the hearts of her siblings. She is able to articulate with such skill something that I didn't know that I had felt and did not know how to verbalise when I watched my own father pass away from a terminal disease. This book truly struck a chord with me. I annotated this book as I read and I am so glad that I did because it helped me to absorb it and make peace with my own frustrations and pains. It is unwaveringly honest, heartbreaking, poignant and in places, wickedly hilarious. Kate Mulgrew's strength throughout this book is truly inspiring. She has never painted herself as a saint in either of her memoirs. She gives over to the reader a very personal, subjective and vulnerable narrative and you can tell that she needed to get this off of her chest. There were moments when I wanted to reach for the tissues and that I simply wanted to give her the biggest hug imaginable.
Even if you are not a fan of Kate Mulgrew or have been a fan for years, I would highly recommend this book. For someone that has lost a parent to a degenerative and wasting disease, Mulgrew's words made an impact that I will never forget and will find difficult to describe.
Mulgrew has an undeniable gift with words. She is fiercely articulate and I always find myself needing a dictionary close-to-hand when reading anything by her. In 'How To Forget,' I found myself being witness to my own thoughts appearing on a page written by someone that I have admired for two-thirds of my life. That surprised me and took me aback. I found myself being witness to a new and heartbreakingly vulnerable side to Mulgrew. She does not try to hide how her parents' illnesses and deaths broke her heart and broke the hearts of her siblings. She is able to articulate with such skill something that I didn't know that I had felt and did not know how to verbalise when I watched my own father pass away from a terminal disease. This book truly struck a chord with me. I annotated this book as I read and I am so glad that I did because it helped me to absorb it and make peace with my own frustrations and pains. It is unwaveringly honest, heartbreaking, poignant and in places, wickedly hilarious. Kate Mulgrew's strength throughout this book is truly inspiring. She has never painted herself as a saint in either of her memoirs. She gives over to the reader a very personal, subjective and vulnerable narrative and you can tell that she needed to get this off of her chest. There were moments when I wanted to reach for the tissues and that I simply wanted to give her the biggest hug imaginable.
Even if you are not a fan of Kate Mulgrew or have been a fan for years, I would highly recommend this book. For someone that has lost a parent to a degenerative and wasting disease, Mulgrew's words made an impact that I will never forget and will find difficult to describe.
July 31, 2020
I was really impressed with her first book but found this one disappointing. Kate Mulgrew is an excellent actress and a very good writer and entertainer but comes across as unfortunately self-absorbed and almost narcissistic in this book. Obviously, this is a memoir and she's writing from her own point of view and through her own experiences, but I felt that she took some liberties in the storytelling that could not enable me to really trust her as a narrator (some stories she claims to have 'imagined' - otherwise known as made up - but are told with such detail that I felt that she was trying to trick the reader into thinking they were real). Most of her siblings seemed to have stayed closer to the hometown than she did but they barely got a mention in the first half of the book. Clearly she came home a fair bit, but I don't think the brothers and sisters really got the acknowledgment for the care of their parents that they probably deserved. Chapters would go by without them getting a mention and you wouldn't be blamed for forgetting they existed at all and believe that Kate exclusively took care of her parents (at least her father - they do get more screen time in the second half about her mother) in their old age. One of the most telling parts of the story was where she described how she got her mother to appoint her as the person who would make the decisions about her care with no discussion with the rest of the family, including her father who would have been the natural choice for this role. Pretty sneaky on her part and to her credit (I think?!) she doesn't really try to hide this underhandedness. The second part of the book was better than the first, mostly because her mother seemed to be so much more of a personality (though she wasn't going to be winning any Mother-of-the-Year awards) and her decline in her final years was all the more tragic but would have been more poignant if by this point I wasn't so mistrusting of the person telling the story. Also, it often felt like she was being unnecessarily wordy or using big words just to show off her vocabulary and to make the reader feel a bit stupid in comparison. I wanted to enjoy this book but didn't. Not because it was extremely depressing (it was) but because it tarnished my admiration of a personality I had great respect for. In short, I liked Kate Mugrew a lot before reading her book and I liked her a lot less afterwards. I doubt this was her intention.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 6, 2019
My review of Mulgrew's first memoir ended with the wish that she had not ended it 13 years prior to publication since there was still so much to learn about her. At that time, she said she'd had to wait until the deaths of both parents before writing her history, and this book is an explanation almost an apologia, since it is her parents' stories, and hers only as it relates to them and to her seven siblings.
The Mulgrews of Dubuque were a rambunctious but well regarded family, not civic leaders, merely midwesterners that were illuminated by the fact that their mother was from "back East," an intimate of the Kennedy family, an aspiring artist. Kate tells more about her father's early history, probably because she had more familiarity with that branch being more local. Her portraits of her siblings is uneven, some are not individualized at all and given very little pagespace. She was only 18 when she followed her dream to NY, reversing the story of her mother, but family ties were close, and as she rose to take her place as one of the most respected actors of her generation and managed her personal life, she still held her family dear, providing financial and moral support when needed. The first part deals with her father's history, illness and rapid death, because "he went first." Her mother, stricken with atypical Alzheimer's disease, had been deteriorating for six years by that point, and the second part minutely and wrenchingly describes Joan's decline and eventual mental paralysis.
I can see why Kate felt she had to step aside from the progress of her own life and examine those who shaped her. I am hopeful she will continue with her own story in a future volume.
The Mulgrews of Dubuque were a rambunctious but well regarded family, not civic leaders, merely midwesterners that were illuminated by the fact that their mother was from "back East," an intimate of the Kennedy family, an aspiring artist. Kate tells more about her father's early history, probably because she had more familiarity with that branch being more local. Her portraits of her siblings is uneven, some are not individualized at all and given very little pagespace. She was only 18 when she followed her dream to NY, reversing the story of her mother, but family ties were close, and as she rose to take her place as one of the most respected actors of her generation and managed her personal life, she still held her family dear, providing financial and moral support when needed. The first part deals with her father's history, illness and rapid death, because "he went first." Her mother, stricken with atypical Alzheimer's disease, had been deteriorating for six years by that point, and the second part minutely and wrenchingly describes Joan's decline and eventual mental paralysis.
I can see why Kate felt she had to step aside from the progress of her own life and examine those who shaped her. I am hopeful she will continue with her own story in a future volume.
April 17, 2021
this is a good read. the vocab impressive, and the author really painted a beautiful picture. a lovely tribute to an eldest daughter's relationship with her parents. however, the entire book felt like exposition. i kept waiting for a secret to come out or the other shoe to drop and it never happened. the author bounced in between memories and the present, sometimes confusing. while this all kept me reading, it was also frustrating. in addition, the author was clearly very wealthy, which made some parts of the book unrelatable because they were so out of the norm. multiple servants, ability to travel at will by limousine or plane, top of the line medical care, fancy hotels, etc. i did enjoy the writing style. i guess i'm just not sure what the thesis of the book was. it seemed more like a collection of stories than a narrative. my favorite part of the book was the long vocab quizlet i made from the book of Words I'll Probably Never Use
July 9, 2019
Read this book based on glowing reviews and see many such reviews here. No more than a 3 for me. I love a good memoir but to put this on the same level as “Educated� (a true 5 star) would be a travesty. Two very sad accounts of the death of her two parents. A good glimpse into what it must be like to watch a loved one wither away from Alzheimer’s but not sure that is what people want to experience with the author. The inside book jacket refers to author uncovering “long kept secrets� and not sure I could I could identify those from my read only that perhaps it refers to Mulgrew’s relationship with a much older man when she was younger than 18 that confused me in its telling and was glossed over in terms of how Mulgrew evaluates that troubling experience now with hindsight. Not familiar with Mulgrew’s acting but likely better than her writing.
June 2, 2019
I just can't get over how touching and relevant this beautifully written book is. buy it - read it - you will be profoundly moved.
May 24, 2019
Kate Mulgrew is an actor. She has acted on stage, in the movies, and on television. She may be best known as "Admiral Kathryn Janeway" on the TV show "Star Trek: Voyager" in the late 1990's and currently she's in the cast of "Orange is the New Black". She is one of those actors who always seems to have a part in something, she's always working. But as with any actor, what you see on the stage or the screen is only a piece of the real person. Her excellent first memoir, "Born With Teeth", published a few years ago, looks at her younger life and first years in her career. She's returned with a new book, "How to Forget: A Daughter's Memoir", which is the story of her parents' deaths. If you're looking for a feel-good book, look elsewhere.
Mulgrew's parents died within a two year period. Her father died three weeks after a diagnosis of metastatic lung cancer. He chose not to take any treatment, preferring not to endure great discomfort simply to prolong his life a month or two. Her mother died - at least physically - about two years later, after having lived with "a-typical Alzheimers" disease for eight years. Those years were terrible both for "Jick" Mulgrew and her surviving six children. Her husband seemed to just go into himself during the years of his wife's illness before his own death. But Jick and Tom Mulgrew, married 50 years and the parents of eight children had devolved into separate lives years before.
Kate Mulgrew spares no one in her story, including herself. She writes about relations with her siblings as they navigate their parents' dying and deaths. She delves into her parents' marriage of two people of opposite natures and the problems within that marriage. Mulgrew's story is an honest look at how siblings deal with their parents' lives...and deaths. It's well worth reading.
Mulgrew's parents died within a two year period. Her father died three weeks after a diagnosis of metastatic lung cancer. He chose not to take any treatment, preferring not to endure great discomfort simply to prolong his life a month or two. Her mother died - at least physically - about two years later, after having lived with "a-typical Alzheimers" disease for eight years. Those years were terrible both for "Jick" Mulgrew and her surviving six children. Her husband seemed to just go into himself during the years of his wife's illness before his own death. But Jick and Tom Mulgrew, married 50 years and the parents of eight children had devolved into separate lives years before.
Kate Mulgrew spares no one in her story, including herself. She writes about relations with her siblings as they navigate their parents' dying and deaths. She delves into her parents' marriage of two people of opposite natures and the problems within that marriage. Mulgrew's story is an honest look at how siblings deal with their parents' lives...and deaths. It's well worth reading.
December 13, 2022
This was a tough book to get through. Kate Mulgrew (best known to me as Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager) details her complicated relationship with her parents and how she dealt with the grief of their deaths.
As I've come to expect from her previous book she doesn't sugarcoat things, she comes across fairly brutally honest both about herself and what some might consider the failings of her parents. It's not all negative, there are some nice stories about the support she received from her parents as well as the comfort she found in assisting them towards their respective ends.
The book is broken into two sections, the books opens with the death of Mulgrew's traditional, old school, emotionally closed off father and the second section finishes with the death of her artsy, eccentric mother. In between it's an exploration of her relationships with her parents and siblings and it mostly comes across as a therapy session of sorts but it remains fascinating throughout.
I really enjoyed Mulgrew's writing style from her first memoir and it carries on here to some extent. Some actors can do voice over work, some can't. Kate Mulgrew is great at it, having her read her own story you feel the emotional highs and lows in her voice.
I don't think you'd need to be a fan of her work since it has almost nothing to do with her career, but it's an insight into one person's method of coping with life and death.
As I've come to expect from her previous book she doesn't sugarcoat things, she comes across fairly brutally honest both about herself and what some might consider the failings of her parents. It's not all negative, there are some nice stories about the support she received from her parents as well as the comfort she found in assisting them towards their respective ends.
The book is broken into two sections, the books opens with the death of Mulgrew's traditional, old school, emotionally closed off father and the second section finishes with the death of her artsy, eccentric mother. In between it's an exploration of her relationships with her parents and siblings and it mostly comes across as a therapy session of sorts but it remains fascinating throughout.
I really enjoyed Mulgrew's writing style from her first memoir and it carries on here to some extent. Some actors can do voice over work, some can't. Kate Mulgrew is great at it, having her read her own story you feel the emotional highs and lows in her voice.
I don't think you'd need to be a fan of her work since it has almost nothing to do with her career, but it's an insight into one person's method of coping with life and death.
May 21, 2019
Actress Kate Mulgrew (Star Trek Voyager, Orange Is the New Black) follows up her candid and thoughtful 2015 memoir, BORN WITH TEETH, with an equally forthright and emotionally raw tale of caring for her parents at the end of their lives.
When her father is diagnosed with stage-four cancer that has spread from his lungs to brain stem, liver and kidneys, Mulgrew's return visit to her home state of Iowa is extended indefinitely. Six years earlier, her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and continued living at home thanks to a full-time caregiver. HOW TO FORGET tenderly chronicles Mulgrew's decision to care for her parents over the last two years of their lives.
With crystal clarity and sharp insight, Mulgrew paints a complicated family portrait as rich and complex as families in Pat Conroy's epic novels. As an adult, Mulgrew sees her parents and siblings with a fresh perspective. She realizes that one of the unspoken tenets of her parents' relationship was "they should never be emotionally vulnerable to each other, that such exposure could only lead to trouble." Mulgrew also writes beautifully of the way families are often torn apart--rather than united--by loss. "We longed to reach out to one another, but at every turn this instinct was thwarted, tangled in a web of suspicion and resentment," she writes. "As much as we had loved one another in the fullness of life, we hated what we had become when that wholeness was eclipsed by loss." How to Forget is an unforgettable, tender and loving memoir of acceptance and loss.
Kate Mulgrew's perceptive and beautifully written memoir of caring for her dying parents packs an emotional wallop.
When her father is diagnosed with stage-four cancer that has spread from his lungs to brain stem, liver and kidneys, Mulgrew's return visit to her home state of Iowa is extended indefinitely. Six years earlier, her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and continued living at home thanks to a full-time caregiver. HOW TO FORGET tenderly chronicles Mulgrew's decision to care for her parents over the last two years of their lives.
With crystal clarity and sharp insight, Mulgrew paints a complicated family portrait as rich and complex as families in Pat Conroy's epic novels. As an adult, Mulgrew sees her parents and siblings with a fresh perspective. She realizes that one of the unspoken tenets of her parents' relationship was "they should never be emotionally vulnerable to each other, that such exposure could only lead to trouble." Mulgrew also writes beautifully of the way families are often torn apart--rather than united--by loss. "We longed to reach out to one another, but at every turn this instinct was thwarted, tangled in a web of suspicion and resentment," she writes. "As much as we had loved one another in the fullness of life, we hated what we had become when that wholeness was eclipsed by loss." How to Forget is an unforgettable, tender and loving memoir of acceptance and loss.
Kate Mulgrew's perceptive and beautifully written memoir of caring for her dying parents packs an emotional wallop.
August 17, 2024
In her memoir, Kate Mulgrew divulges, and with emotional detail, a first-person journey of the death of her parents. She first recounts the sudden and unexpected terminal diagnosis of her father, flashing back often to their shared moments together and personal infections. After that, she visits the degeneration of her mother's mind and memory from Alzheimer's syndrome along with a time of the most formational experiences the two of them shared. Though the title is "How to Forget", it's mostly a book about remembering, and with a magnification of moments, many that would be unappreciated for most of us if not for this uncommon invitation into the most personal living spaces of Mulgrew's world.
I was interested in this work because I have come to appreciate Kate Mulgrew as Captain Kathryn Janeway on Star Trek Voyager. This book is not a book about a fictional space captain or even her journey to be assigned that role. Rather, it is a personal, honest, and tangible shared experience with particularly articulate and precise language, which seems only appropriate when recalling something so vastly complex as human grief.
I was interested in this work because I have come to appreciate Kate Mulgrew as Captain Kathryn Janeway on Star Trek Voyager. This book is not a book about a fictional space captain or even her journey to be assigned that role. Rather, it is a personal, honest, and tangible shared experience with particularly articulate and precise language, which seems only appropriate when recalling something so vastly complex as human grief.
November 8, 2021
Oh captain, my captain! You remain sovereign at your rudder in you private life too. Even in the midst of worst turbulence, when to you, personally, things might seem awfully out of control.
Until now, there were several unavoidable associations that came to my mind when I though of Kate Mulgrew. Stern, but fair Star Trek captain, impossibly beautiful and thick hair (remember that scene in her private compartment on Voyager?), warm, motherly voice that I could listen whole day.
Well, my wish finally came true in the form of audio book read by her very own self. I mean, what a treat. As expected, the performance is flawless. Lived through from start till the end, of course, because it's about her own life and struggles.
For years, she was almost a mythical being for me. I mean, I grew up through my most intense adolescence with new seasons of Voyager being one of the rare things I could count on. And you know how receptive you are in those formative years to figures of authority. And female beauty. And...hair, that impossible hair.
Now, I got to know her as even most impressive character: herself.
Until now, there were several unavoidable associations that came to my mind when I though of Kate Mulgrew. Stern, but fair Star Trek captain, impossibly beautiful and thick hair (remember that scene in her private compartment on Voyager?), warm, motherly voice that I could listen whole day.
Well, my wish finally came true in the form of audio book read by her very own self. I mean, what a treat. As expected, the performance is flawless. Lived through from start till the end, of course, because it's about her own life and struggles.
For years, she was almost a mythical being for me. I mean, I grew up through my most intense adolescence with new seasons of Voyager being one of the rare things I could count on. And you know how receptive you are in those formative years to figures of authority. And female beauty. And...hair, that impossible hair.
Now, I got to know her as even most impressive character: herself.
May 28, 2019
I read 'Born With Teeth' and looked forward to 'How to Forget' when she announced it. Both memoirs are incredibly well written. Ms Mulgrew has a love of the English language that is astounding, I was glad my EReader has a dictionary.
I work with Seniors, many of whom suffer from Dementia and the Dementia Umbrella. The opportunity to read about a family that dealt with this and get an insite to their thinking was unique. Ms Mulgrew and her siblings dealt with many emotions and conflicts. She tells their story as honestly as she can. She is able to speak with courage and dignity.
I recommend both books.
I work with Seniors, many of whom suffer from Dementia and the Dementia Umbrella. The opportunity to read about a family that dealt with this and get an insite to their thinking was unique. Ms Mulgrew and her siblings dealt with many emotions and conflicts. She tells their story as honestly as she can. She is able to speak with courage and dignity.
I recommend both books.
June 3, 2019
Overall, disappointing. The book is divided into two parts. The first addresses the final illness of her father. I found the narrative skeletal and woefully overwritten. The second, somewhat longer, section about the slow disappearance of her mother into Alzheimers disease more compelling and considerably more fleshed out. The second part, too, though, could have benefited from more robust editing.
April 28, 2019
Kate Mulgrew kicks it out of the park yet again with her second book “How To Forget�. Poignant, wonderfully written, hardly an easy read but she still manages to suck you right into the story.
It will captivate you, it will break your heart if you’ve ever been in a position of fighting a battle close to home, it most certainly won’t disappoint. No spoilers, pick up the book and read it.
It will captivate you, it will break your heart if you’ve ever been in a position of fighting a battle close to home, it most certainly won’t disappoint. No spoilers, pick up the book and read it.
November 4, 2020
This book is breathtaking. You may be wondering if you have to be a Star Trek fan to enjoy this book; you do not (I am not). You may be wondering if her acting career is what got this book greenlit; it is not. Kate Mulgrew has a way with words. She tells her stories in such a captivating way. I couldn’t recommend this book more highly.
I’ll be honest - it took me a long time to finish this book. Too long if you ask the friend who loaned it to me ;). I feel, though, like a good memoir can’t be devoured. How can you digest a life in a single sitting, or even in a single week or two or three? No, this book, like all great memoirs, made me think. I went on the journey with the author, and sometimes that required stepping away for a time to mourn her losses. But the book is so compelling that I always came back. I always wanted to hear more.
I’ve read quite a few memoirs, and the good ones always organize the stories they choose to tell around a key theme or event. How to Forget is organized around the author’s parents - their lives and their deaths. The effortless way she weaves childhood and early adulthood narratives through the consistent narratives of her parents� final years is incredible. It feels completely natural and effortless to weave back and forth through time, and there is never a moment’s challenge in following the timeline. It is truly a work of art. And yet somehow it also feels like a conversation with a friend - the way stories are told in conversation, the ways they weave in and out of the present day, is captured in this book.
If you’re a fan of Star Trek or Kate Mulgrew’s other acting endeavors and that’s why you’re interested in this book, you won’t be disappointed - you will thoroughly enjoy getting to know more about an actress you admire. If you are not a fan of Star Trek, you will be entertained, riveted, heartbroken, and comforted by this beautiful, universal tale of family and all it entails.
I’ll be honest - it took me a long time to finish this book. Too long if you ask the friend who loaned it to me ;). I feel, though, like a good memoir can’t be devoured. How can you digest a life in a single sitting, or even in a single week or two or three? No, this book, like all great memoirs, made me think. I went on the journey with the author, and sometimes that required stepping away for a time to mourn her losses. But the book is so compelling that I always came back. I always wanted to hear more.
I’ve read quite a few memoirs, and the good ones always organize the stories they choose to tell around a key theme or event. How to Forget is organized around the author’s parents - their lives and their deaths. The effortless way she weaves childhood and early adulthood narratives through the consistent narratives of her parents� final years is incredible. It feels completely natural and effortless to weave back and forth through time, and there is never a moment’s challenge in following the timeline. It is truly a work of art. And yet somehow it also feels like a conversation with a friend - the way stories are told in conversation, the ways they weave in and out of the present day, is captured in this book.
If you’re a fan of Star Trek or Kate Mulgrew’s other acting endeavors and that’s why you’re interested in this book, you won’t be disappointed - you will thoroughly enjoy getting to know more about an actress you admire. If you are not a fan of Star Trek, you will be entertained, riveted, heartbroken, and comforted by this beautiful, universal tale of family and all it entails.
June 3, 2019
‘How to Forget� delves into every aspect of life and its inevitable end with unflinching frankness and honesty: the beauty and the ugliness; the clarity and the confusion; the joy and the sadness. All told through Kate’s mastery of the English language and decades of experience in conveying complex and elusive emotions to her audience.
Losing a parent is like watching the door through which you entered the world swing shut forever. Chances are you didn’t get everything you needed from the other side. There will be unanswered questions; half-forgotten memories that will never fully coalesce in the absence of the person you shared them with; parts of your identity that will suddenly become untethered and unfamiliar. These painful realities are keenly felt in ‘How to Forget�, and explored through experiences that are both unique to Kate’s family and universal in their depiction of the finality of death and the grief and disorientation that follow it.
Even if you do not count yourself among Kate’s legions of fans, I would still highly recommend this book. Death does not care about celebrity, and Kate’s status as a talented and dedicated actress takes second stage to her incredible ability to eloquently examine the most painful parts of being human, in ways that will speak to anyone who has known loss, love and the intricacies of family relationships.
Losing a parent is like watching the door through which you entered the world swing shut forever. Chances are you didn’t get everything you needed from the other side. There will be unanswered questions; half-forgotten memories that will never fully coalesce in the absence of the person you shared them with; parts of your identity that will suddenly become untethered and unfamiliar. These painful realities are keenly felt in ‘How to Forget�, and explored through experiences that are both unique to Kate’s family and universal in their depiction of the finality of death and the grief and disorientation that follow it.
Even if you do not count yourself among Kate’s legions of fans, I would still highly recommend this book. Death does not care about celebrity, and Kate’s status as a talented and dedicated actress takes second stage to her incredible ability to eloquently examine the most painful parts of being human, in ways that will speak to anyone who has known loss, love and the intricacies of family relationships.
June 17, 2019
This was extremely boring to me. So she grew up in a family of 6 kids where a father checked out for most of his life either due to alcoholism or mental health issues and a mother, who seemed to hold it together. I don't know, but calling each other "darling" all the time started grating on me quickly! I picked it up because it was Kate Mulgrew, I wish I hadn't.
August 24, 2023
This book took me a long time to finish, because it was a little close to home for me. Guess that means the esteemed Ms. Mulgrew is a good writer. It was about the deaths of her parents, and there were too many parallels for comfort, especially when she wrote about her mother's slow decline from dementia. I had to consume it in short segments.
August 12, 2024
This is a memoir told in two parts, primarily focusing on the ends of each of Kate Mulgrew’s parents� lives: her father, who is diagnosed with (and quickly passes away from) aggressive cancer, and her mother, who lives with Alzheimer’s for several years before passing.
Because this is a memoir, I was initially torn on how to rate and write about it - is it really fair to put a rating on the telling of someone’s life experiences? But the more I thought about this book, the more I realized that my issues are not so much with the content but how the story was constructed.
Things this book did well: portray hard and saddening scenes of seeing a loved one’s physical or mental health deteriorate, and the difficult conversations and strained familial relationships that come with those changes.
I think the biggest thing that did this book a disservice was the choice in vocabulary. I felt like the words were often too complex or too flowery for the emotions that were being conveyed, and because of Mulgrew’s use of such distinct words, it really stuck out when they were often overused. At her core she’s a theater actress, and that really came through in her choice of wording and how she approached her read for the audiobook - there was too much flair for my liking, and I don’t think the book benefitted from it.
There were several scenes where Mulgrew hadn’t been present (such as scenes from her parents� youth or scenes between one of her parents and a sibling) which was� strange. It made the book sometimes feel like it was just a piece of fiction, as the narrator was clearly not there and could not possibly have known what happened.
My final critique is that a few of the chapters were just kind of skated over despite their difficult content. Mulgrew’s first romantic relationship was with a friend of her father’s who was in his 30s while she was younger than 18. Mulgrew also shares that she was the one who took care of her mother during a miscarriage while the rest of the house seemed to not know about it at all, and that her mother confided in her about an affair with a local priest. These chapters come and go without any questioning as to why her parents put her in these positions, and I hope that Mulgrew has put more critical thought into them than she shared on the page.
Because this is a memoir, I was initially torn on how to rate and write about it - is it really fair to put a rating on the telling of someone’s life experiences? But the more I thought about this book, the more I realized that my issues are not so much with the content but how the story was constructed.
Things this book did well: portray hard and saddening scenes of seeing a loved one’s physical or mental health deteriorate, and the difficult conversations and strained familial relationships that come with those changes.
I think the biggest thing that did this book a disservice was the choice in vocabulary. I felt like the words were often too complex or too flowery for the emotions that were being conveyed, and because of Mulgrew’s use of such distinct words, it really stuck out when they were often overused. At her core she’s a theater actress, and that really came through in her choice of wording and how she approached her read for the audiobook - there was too much flair for my liking, and I don’t think the book benefitted from it.
There were several scenes where Mulgrew hadn’t been present (such as scenes from her parents� youth or scenes between one of her parents and a sibling) which was� strange. It made the book sometimes feel like it was just a piece of fiction, as the narrator was clearly not there and could not possibly have known what happened.
My final critique is that a few of the chapters were just kind of skated over despite their difficult content. Mulgrew’s first romantic relationship was with a friend of her father’s who was in his 30s while she was younger than 18. Mulgrew also shares that she was the one who took care of her mother during a miscarriage while the rest of the house seemed to not know about it at all, and that her mother confided in her about an affair with a local priest. These chapters come and go without any questioning as to why her parents put her in these positions, and I hope that Mulgrew has put more critical thought into them than she shared on the page.
September 15, 2019
Kate Mulgrew brings to life the stories involving her father and mother from the time of her early childhood, teenage years, and to the point where both pass (mother from Alzheimer's Disease and her father from lung cancer). Through her intimate and detailed story-telling, you are woven into her complicated and loving clan. You experience the depths of her love for both parents, and how she in turn becomes a caregiver toward her own mother and father.
Coming from a large family, there are times where her siblings and relatives are included, but this mostly focuses on Kate's own memories and experiences.
Brought along on the fiery romance between her parents, their marriage and life together, this memoir is unapologetically honest in all aspects. The loss of children that destroyed their faith, a somewhat turbulent marriage spanning 50 years, and a blazing determination that kept them all together is nothing short of heartbreaking and amazing.
Love is beyond comprehension.
Coming from a large family, there are times where her siblings and relatives are included, but this mostly focuses on Kate's own memories and experiences.
Brought along on the fiery romance between her parents, their marriage and life together, this memoir is unapologetically honest in all aspects. The loss of children that destroyed their faith, a somewhat turbulent marriage spanning 50 years, and a blazing determination that kept them all together is nothing short of heartbreaking and amazing.
Love is beyond comprehension.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 433 reviews
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get help and learn more about the design.