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If I Knew Then: Finding Wisdom in Failure and Power in Aging
Jann Arden--bestselling author, recording artist and late-blooming TV star--is back with this funny, heartfelt and fierce memoir on becoming a woman of a certain age. The power, gravity and freedom she's found at fifty-seven are superpowers she believes all of us can unleash.
Digging deep into her strengths, her failures and her losses, Jann Arden brings us an inspiring account of how she has surprised herself, in her fifties, by at last becoming completely her own person. Like many women, it took Jann a long time to realize that trying to be pleasing and likeable and beautiful in the eyes of others was a loser's game. Letting it rip, and damning the consequences, is not only liberating, it's a hell of a lot of fun: "Being the age I am--that so many women are--is just the best time of my life."
ÌýÌýÌýÌý Jann weaves her own story together with tales of her mother, grandmother, and great grandmother, and the father she came close to hating, to show her younger self--and all of us--that fear and avoidance is no way to live. "What I'm thinking about now aren't all the ways I can try to hang on to my youth or all the seconds ticking by in some kind of morbid countdown to death," she writes, "but rather how I keep becoming someone I always hoped I could be. If I'm lucky one day a very old face will look back at me from the mirror, a face I once shied away from. I will love that old woman ferociously, because she has finally figured out how to live a life of purpose--not in spite of but because of all her mistakes and failures."
Digging deep into her strengths, her failures and her losses, Jann Arden brings us an inspiring account of how she has surprised herself, in her fifties, by at last becoming completely her own person. Like many women, it took Jann a long time to realize that trying to be pleasing and likeable and beautiful in the eyes of others was a loser's game. Letting it rip, and damning the consequences, is not only liberating, it's a hell of a lot of fun: "Being the age I am--that so many women are--is just the best time of my life."
ÌýÌýÌýÌý Jann weaves her own story together with tales of her mother, grandmother, and great grandmother, and the father she came close to hating, to show her younger self--and all of us--that fear and avoidance is no way to live. "What I'm thinking about now aren't all the ways I can try to hang on to my youth or all the seconds ticking by in some kind of morbid countdown to death," she writes, "but rather how I keep becoming someone I always hoped I could be. If I'm lucky one day a very old face will look back at me from the mirror, a face I once shied away from. I will love that old woman ferociously, because she has finally figured out how to live a life of purpose--not in spite of but because of all her mistakes and failures."
121 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 27, 2020
114 people are currently reading
1,373 people want to read
About the author
Jann Arden
30Ìýbooks265ÌýfollowersJann Arden is a Canadian born, singer, songwriter, broadcaster and author. The much-celebrated multi-platinum award-winning artist catapulted onto the Canadian music scene in 1993 with the release of her debut album “Time For Mercyâ€� featuring the hit single, “I Would Die For Youâ€�. A year later with “Living Under Juneâ€�, she would have her career breakout hit, “Insensitiveâ€� that would solidify her position in the music world.
On April 2nd, 2019 Arden released the paperback version of the Canadian best seller “Feeding My Mother � Comfort and Laughter in the Kitchen as My Mom Lives with Memory Loss� (Penguin Random House Canada). The book shares insights, loss, irony, and yes humour, as mother and daughter face the journey together. The hardcover book spent 21 consecutive weeks on the Globe & Mail bestseller lists.
Whether she is captivating audiences with her heartfelt music, entertaining them with her quick wit or sharing her written word in a boldly honest voice � Jann Arden is a Canadian original � a brilliant multi-dimensional talent!
On April 2nd, 2019 Arden released the paperback version of the Canadian best seller “Feeding My Mother � Comfort and Laughter in the Kitchen as My Mom Lives with Memory Loss� (Penguin Random House Canada). The book shares insights, loss, irony, and yes humour, as mother and daughter face the journey together. The hardcover book spent 21 consecutive weeks on the Globe & Mail bestseller lists.
Whether she is captivating audiences with her heartfelt music, entertaining them with her quick wit or sharing her written word in a boldly honest voice � Jann Arden is a Canadian original � a brilliant multi-dimensional talent!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 457 reviews
July 29, 2021
If I Knew Then: Finding Wisdom in Failure and Power in Aging by Jann Arden is an absolutely wise accounting of one woman looking back and looking forward. This book should be read by every teenage girl. In a world where image is everything, Arden tells her younger self that she wasted so much time feeling inadequate instead of appreciating that she was who she was supposed to be. And there are wise words for the not-so-young woman, who would maybe benefit from the author’s lifetime experiences. The book is funny, enlightening, enjoyable and simply written by one who has learned from life’s tribulations. There is much to discover in this small book. Highly recommended.
January 26, 2021
Breathtakingly, devastatingly honest. I don't know if you like Jann Arden's music, if you don't, or if you don't even know who she is. She's right around my age, she lives in my area of Alberta, and we both have aging on our minds. There are potentially many years ahead of us and we are both determined to do the most with them that we possibly can. We are entering the Crone stage of life, where we can do exactly what we like without worrying about what other people think. Our own opinions are all that matter now. I understand what one of my senior women friends meant when she advised me when I turned 50 that I was just coming into my power. Now I get it (and she is no longer here to see me make the mental connection, sadly).
A few pearls of wild woman wisdom from Jann:
“I appreciate the fact that my body is carting my soul around and it's doing a spectacular job of it. I see such strength and ability in myself, which I didn't even notice, let alone appreciate, when I was a young woman.�
“Getting older in this life is a privilege.�
“If you don't learn about problem solving at a young age, you can't expect to effectively navigate problems in adulthood.�
“You have to keep going forward even if that forwardness is kind of sideways—sometimes backwards.�
“Becoming wiser is the reward for getting older.�
“[The Crone is] not going to stay in relationships that aren't loving and thoughtful and uplifting, and I mean any relationship, not just the ones where you're naked with the other person. In fact, the Crone doesn't need to be in a relationship. She is strong standing right where she is, on her own, breathing in and out on top of the mountain, owning every single thing she's ever done.�
There's very little about Jann's career in this memoir, but plenty of life lessons and hard won experience. If you like reading memoirs, I would highly recommend this one. It is a quick read, but if you're a woman who wants some bracing encouragement, this is your book.
Cross posted at my blog:
A few pearls of wild woman wisdom from Jann:
“I appreciate the fact that my body is carting my soul around and it's doing a spectacular job of it. I see such strength and ability in myself, which I didn't even notice, let alone appreciate, when I was a young woman.�
“Getting older in this life is a privilege.�
“If you don't learn about problem solving at a young age, you can't expect to effectively navigate problems in adulthood.�
“You have to keep going forward even if that forwardness is kind of sideways—sometimes backwards.�
“Becoming wiser is the reward for getting older.�
“[The Crone is] not going to stay in relationships that aren't loving and thoughtful and uplifting, and I mean any relationship, not just the ones where you're naked with the other person. In fact, the Crone doesn't need to be in a relationship. She is strong standing right where she is, on her own, breathing in and out on top of the mountain, owning every single thing she's ever done.�
There's very little about Jann's career in this memoir, but plenty of life lessons and hard won experience. If you like reading memoirs, I would highly recommend this one. It is a quick read, but if you're a woman who wants some bracing encouragement, this is your book.
Cross posted at my blog:
April 28, 2021
If I Knew Then: Finding Wisdom in Failure and Power in Aging
By: Jann Arden
GO CRONES! Okay I'm going to be honest I don't think i would of picked this book out on my own. I picked it up on accident miss read the author and thought it was a completely different book. Now that I have read this book I am 200% grateful that I have read it. I believe every woman young and older should read this. Most importantly teenage girls. Also if you listen to audio books please listen to this one. Jann Arden reads it and she does a beautiful job!
In this book she touches a lot of topics such as growing older, losing parents, the beautiful experience of being a woman young and old.
The part where she talks about her mother and father was hard for me to read. What she went througb100% different then what I went through but the the feelings and emotions were very similar. If I hadn't read this book i probably would of held on to some much hatred, resentment, and a grudge. Now I can take what has happened and learn from it. Try to develop a new relationship with my father.
Such a beautiful short book. Seriously read this book so much wisdom in such a short book.
Raiting: 5 plus stars 🌟
By: Jann Arden
GO CRONES! Okay I'm going to be honest I don't think i would of picked this book out on my own. I picked it up on accident miss read the author and thought it was a completely different book. Now that I have read this book I am 200% grateful that I have read it. I believe every woman young and older should read this. Most importantly teenage girls. Also if you listen to audio books please listen to this one. Jann Arden reads it and she does a beautiful job!
In this book she touches a lot of topics such as growing older, losing parents, the beautiful experience of being a woman young and old.
The part where she talks about her mother and father was hard for me to read. What she went througb100% different then what I went through but the the feelings and emotions were very similar. If I hadn't read this book i probably would of held on to some much hatred, resentment, and a grudge. Now I can take what has happened and learn from it. Try to develop a new relationship with my father.
Such a beautiful short book. Seriously read this book so much wisdom in such a short book.
Raiting: 5 plus stars 🌟
October 12, 2020
As a long-time fan of Jann Arden, I am always there for whatever she wants to share with the world, be it music, books or her posts on social media. Her words resonate with me and have helped me through tough times more than once. In this book she talks about growing older, losing parents, the experience of being a woman and also the universal experience of being a good human. If I Knew Then is poignant, funny and also the first book I’ve read that was written during our current pandemic, so she touches on that experience as well. Jann Arden tells it like it is, and she doesn’t shy away from any of the nitty gritty stuff of life! I will be buying a hard copy of this book for myself and will also be gifting it to others.
Thank you to Netgalley, Penguin Random House Canada and Jann Arden for an egallley of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to Netgalley, Penguin Random House Canada and Jann Arden for an egallley of this book in exchange for an honest review.
February 25, 2021
I listened to the audiobook version of this book, narrated by Jann Arden herself. I highly recommend this version because you get to hear all the nuances in her voice while she reads, which you would to get by reading the print version. I loved this book, maybe because I am of a “certain age� or because I listened to it at this particular time in my life. Jann is so wise and genuine. What she says makes a lot of sense to me. I plan to pick up the print version to have on hand, just to refer to from time to time.
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January 12, 2021
Go crones! I listened to this book and enjoyed hearing Jann narrate her well-earned insights and experiences. Moments of humour, vulnerability, sadness and inspiration. I loved her perspective on aging and embracing this chapter of her life, especially realising how much I’ve aged since I first started listening to her music many, many years ago! I wished the book had been longer.
November 10, 2020
I’ve never met Jann Arden. I’d like to. She lives right here in my province and I am pretty sure if we met we’d have a lot in common. Why? Because reading this book was like taking a peek into my own journals, thoughts & observations as I enter my Second Act of life. Jann writes with passion & humility about being generous with yourself and uncompromising about what you value in your life. This was a great book. Exactly what I needed. I highly recommend it to anyone who is looking back on their life with more grace & awe than they ever imagined they deserved in their youth. Be kind to yourself. You’re more incredible than you give yourself credit for.
January 10, 2021
This book gets 5 stars, first of all because it's written by Jann Arden. But also because of her message to me - and all women of a certain age who need to be reminded that there are incredible things to be found in aging. I want to be able to follow her message of acceptance and forgiveness. Maybe I will make a New Year resolution after all.
January 17, 2021
When I first started reading this I thought that maybe it was for an older woman but it is more like a wise older sister providing guidance. Honestly if read anything she wrote.
May 17, 2021
Completely fantastic. Highly recommend listening to Jann read her words in the audiobook. I've loved Jann forever, her concerts include her being a stand up comedian along with her wonderful songs with lyrics that have always resonated so strongly with me. I've read her blog for years, and her books. She is an awesome woman! This is a very empowering book. Loved it.
November 15, 2020
This book felt like I was sitting at her kitchen table, drinking coffee and just talking about real stuff. I could relate to most of it and the parts I hadn’t experienced I could relate and appreciate her vulnerability. If feeding my mother was a love letter to her mom, this was a love letter to herself. Beautiful, vulnerable and relatable.
December 18, 2020
Listened to the audiobook read by Jann. It was like hanging out with a bestie. She embraces and rebrands the noun crone as a woman who has lived the ups and downs of life and gained wisdom, balance and peace. That’s something I can get behind! She describes her own journey to crone-dom but like hanging out with a bestie, it was over too soon and left me wanting more.
September 14, 2022
A solid recommendation by a friend who I love dearly. Jann shares her experiences with pain and love and growth and loss and weaves them together into a tale of building awareness. I loved every bit of it and related deeply in parts. I’d say to recommend it to the young ones in your life, but to Jann’s point…that’s not really the point. This story is good for any stage or age. Loved.
April 20, 2024
I read this short book recently in which Jann provided a life story, family challenges as well as her insights and experiences. There are sections of humor, vulnerability, sadness and inspiration. I hope to read some of her other books.
September 1, 2020
If I Knew Then by Jann Arden is a truly wonderful, uplifting read that explores the wisdom that comes with aging and, primarily, the power to finally let resentments and insecurities go. Told in her trademark warm and conversational style, Jann shares some very personal stories from her own life, and ruminates on the time that was spent hiding her truest self from the world. At the age of fifty-seven, she is savouring life in a new, more grateful way, and claims that she has never felt better. Hers are truly inspiring words about embracing our collective years, rather than lamenting another candle on the cake.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Random House Canada for the opportunity to read this ARC.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Random House Canada for the opportunity to read this ARC.
December 21, 2020
I'm glad I listened to this on Audible as Arden is animated and quite fun to listen to. Rather than simply 'talk at the listener', she mimicked her parents (and others) voices with a gentle ease to illustrate or underscore points and learnings.
I appreciated her ability to poke fun at herself while simultaneously acknowledging that loving herself may well produce a better version of her. And I found the chapter on her father particularly poignant.
A quick but good read.
I appreciated her ability to poke fun at herself while simultaneously acknowledging that loving herself may well produce a better version of her. And I found the chapter on her father particularly poignant.
A quick but good read.
July 2, 2022
I just wrote the best review of this book and then my finger hit a wrong button or something and poof it is gone. I’ll let it stay gone. It was too great to try again.
August 8, 2024
Jann provides an honest and heartfelt look at her life journey as she contemplates growing older. Embracing the “crone� she is becoming, she celebrates her liberation from alcohol and limiting negative self analysis. This book is a celebration of aging and continuing to evolve and enjoy all the adventures and love to come.
May 11, 2021
Loved it. Super fast easy read. Captivating and easily relatable for most women. Very honest look back at her mistakes and reasons for not wanting a do over. I’m with Jann! Charge to the future....
March 15, 2021
I loved this book. I listened to it on audiobook book. It is read by Jann Arden which makes it so much better.
March 14, 2021
This book was lacking structure and direction. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it was noticeable to me. It has a chatty feel to it with bits of wisdom and a few life lessons woven throughout. Fans of Jann Arden will appreciate the time spent with her.
July 4, 2021
3.4
I enjoy Jann and her reflections. This book is somewhat repetitive and not necessarily a must read. But it was a quick red and enjoyable with some good takeaways
I enjoy Jann and her reflections. This book is somewhat repetitive and not necessarily a must read. But it was a quick red and enjoyable with some good takeaways
December 2, 2020
Jann Arden is Canadian singer, songwriter, broadcaster, actor and author, who is now in her late 50s. Her parents passed away in the last five years ... her father spent years being ill, including dementia, and her mother battled Alzheimer's.
Jann talks about her family dynamic including the difficult relationship she had with her father, who was an alcoholic and not a happy man. She loved her mother, who stayed and took care of her father for over 60 years. Jann tells of the lessons she has learned over the years, of not being happy with her body but being more at peace with it as she gets older, of giving up alcohol and liking the person she has become without it, and how the crazy childhood she had of hiding in the basement to escape her father led her to become a musician because in the dreary basement she had records to keep her company.
This is the third book of Jann's I've read and I liked it. Her personality comes through and I felt like she was sitting with me and chatting. I liked the writing style ... it was amusing at times and honest. As a head's up, there is swearing.
Blog review post:
Jann talks about her family dynamic including the difficult relationship she had with her father, who was an alcoholic and not a happy man. She loved her mother, who stayed and took care of her father for over 60 years. Jann tells of the lessons she has learned over the years, of not being happy with her body but being more at peace with it as she gets older, of giving up alcohol and liking the person she has become without it, and how the crazy childhood she had of hiding in the basement to escape her father led her to become a musician because in the dreary basement she had records to keep her company.
This is the third book of Jann's I've read and I liked it. Her personality comes through and I felt like she was sitting with me and chatting. I liked the writing style ... it was amusing at times and honest. As a head's up, there is swearing.
Blog review post:
July 15, 2021
This is a book that I will come back to many times every year.
December 9, 2020
This one is perhaps less laugh out loud funny and more insightful than Jann’s earlier books but still full of her character. This book is especially a good read for women in their 50s and on. I wanted to write down so many quotes from this book. Her chapter on her father nearly broke me.
August 25, 2023
Audio version read by Jann. Jann is funny at times, listening to her is like listening to a friend. This book is about ageing and her life. A few good lessons in there.
February 3, 2021
“If you can’t be brave, be reckless. We have a ticket to a great adventure. Be daring, spontaneous and brave.� I loved Jann Ardens take on aging and dying in this humorous memoir. I listened to this as an audiobook narrated by the author herself. She is unapologetic in her views on growing older. I appreciate how she reminds us to take care of ourselves and make good health choices now that will benefit our older selves. She has many funny anecdotes from her late mother and is honest about her struggles with her late father. I really enjoyed this book and will look up her other memoir about her mother.
July 6, 2021
FIRST READ (2020): I'm approaching 50 and feel like I'm still waiting for this wisdom of which she speaks. Do yourself a favour: experience If I Knew Then as an audiobook. Listening to Jann talk is as enjoyable as listening to Jann sing. I powered through this in a day, and I'm sure I'll give it a listen again.
SECOND READ (2021): While I knew I would re-read (or in this case, re-listen to) If I Knew Then a second time, I could not have predicted that I would do so just 27 weeks later. As it happens, one of my book clubs decided to read the book, and while my first thought was "Oh good, I've already read the book," my second thought (less than 24 hours before book club) was, "I don't really remember this book, but it was a really short listen...maybe I have time to give it a second go." And so, I did, and I think I enjoyed it even more the second time. It's hard to believe that a celebrity can have some of the same struggles with aging, death, and self-acceptance as the rest of us, and yet, here it is. The NEXT time I read this book, I'll be sure to jot down some of her words of wisdom. For now, the nuggets (I'm paraphrasing) "Failing is trying, and trying is better than not trying" and "Something good comes out of something bad" will stick with me.
October 26, 2020
I received an ARC of this book to read through NetGalley. All opinions are my own. If I Knew Then is a book by Jann Arden on the topic of ageing and embracing your inner crone. I’ve enjoyed listening to Jann Arden’s music for many years and first became acquainted with her writing through her Facebook posts about coping with her mother’s progression into dementia. Heartfelt and honest these posts are like a light to me as at the same time my son’s beloved grandmother was going through a similar journey. This book is about accepting the ageing process and learning to enjoy life without all the negative expectations and doubts we put on ourselves as we grow towards middle age. Acceptance and celebration of who we are, where we have been, and why that makes us who we are now is the theme of this book and it came to me just when I needed to hear this wisdom. Publishing Date: October 27, 2020. #IfIKnewThen #JannArden #PenguinRandomHouseCanada #SelfHelpBooks #AgingGracefully #EmbraceYourCrone #PostiveBodyImage #bookstagram #bookstagrammer
October 26, 2020
I received an ARC of this book to read through NetGalley. All opinions are my own. If I Knew Then is a book by Jann Arden on the topic of ageing and embracing your inner crone. I’ve enjoyed listening to Jann Arden’s music for many years and first became acquainted with her writing through her Facebook posts about coping with her mother’s progression into dementia. Heartfelt and honest these posts are like a light to me as at the same time my son’s beloved grandmother was going through a similar journey. This book is about accepting the ageing process and learning to enjoy life without all the negative expectations and doubts we put on ourselves as we grow towards middle age. Acceptance and celebration of who we are, where we have been, and why that makes us who we are now is the theme of this book and it came to me just when I needed to hear this wisdom. Publishing Date: October 27, 2020. #IfIKnewThen #JannArden #PenguinRandomHouseCanada #SelfHelpBooks #AgingGracefully #EmbraceYourCrone #PostiveBodyImage #bookstagram #bookstagrammer
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