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304 pages, Hardcover
First published September 3, 2020
“There’s a strangely consistent psychological profile that fits Guys Who Set Up Countries. Dead dad, raised by a doting mum, serially unfaithful, stint in the army or navy, writer or journalist, can’t be trusted with money, fantasist�
“In 1940, Germany invaded the Netherlands, and the Dutch royal family went into exile � safety in the Canadian capital, Ottawa. While living there,(Princess Juliana)
got pregnant with her third child. � the Dutch constitution was airtight on the issue � nobody could take their place in the line of succession if they were born on the soil of another country. � So, the Canadian government � passed a law � providing ‘an extra-territorial character to any place in which the heir presumptive to the throne of the Netherlands may be confined and in which an heir to such throne may be born’�
“The Republic of Formosa May–October 1895: Some nation states � even massive ones like China � are so weirdly insecure that they get anxious if, say, your contents list happens to contain the name of a country they don’t officially recognise as ever having existed. To the extent that they’ll refuse to print your book and you’ll have to go and get it done in Slovenia instead. � Slovenia, being part of the Balkans, inevitably has a slightly more adult level of acceptance about the confusing nature of existence than the One Indivisible China�
“A grim postscript in case the story isn’t already grim enough for you: the Bridgestone Corporation, which operates as Firestone in Liberia, was found guilty of forced labour by the UN as recently as 2005. Modern-day slavery goes on flourishing in the state set up for free slaves. �
“The Republic of Texas 1836�46: When the Brexit results were announced, a small group in Texas got very excited. If the fey, famously reticent limeys could risk their economy collapsing for the sake of some semi-mythical nostalgia then surely the comparatively bold ‘Texians� could too. The press even started referring to ‘Texit�, because annoying portmanteaus are universally loved by lazy journalists no matter where in the world you are. The republic would rise again! �
“The problem with being a Bold Man of Action like Vladimir Putin is that there are only so many creatures you can wrestle with your shirt off/migrating geese you can lead back home in your micro-glider/ancient urns you can find on your impromptu and very legitimate underwater archaeological dives. When the photo ops run dry you’ve got one option left, the predictable choice of all good despots: take over Crimea. �
“Mutual war crimes aren’t the most solid basis for a nation, but over the next 30 years Tito managed to wodge everything back together, partly through sheer force of personality.�
“countries are just daft stories we tell each other. They’re all equally implausible once you get up close.�
"[C]ountries are just daft stories we tell each other."
"All countries rely on belief, or at least a suspension of disbelief. They need a reason to exist based on a common history or people or language or adversary - or, most usually, some poorly thought-out mix of all of those."
The creation and funding of New Caledonia would leave Scotland so bankrupt that it, at least partially, pushed them into signing the Act of Union.
Franceville was "one of the very first nations to practise [sic] universal suffrage" (though only white males could be elected).
Naissar, the island on which The Soviet Republic of Soldiers & Fortress Builders of Naissar was built, translates as "Island of Women," leading "some to suggest it might be the same Island of Women, home to a mythical race of Amazons, recorded by Adam of Bremen a thousand years ago."
The Tangier International Zone (1924-56) "was one of the few places in the world you could be openly gay [at the time] without winding up in prison."
"[A] more recent, real-life version of the Amazons [was] the West African Kingdom of Dahomey, unique for boasting a substantially female army."