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151 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 2007
'People talk about her. Guys mostly. They call her a dyke. Girls call her a guy. She isn't a guy. Or a girl, really. She's "questionable." Gender fluid.
She's not committing one way or the other, let's just say. Who says you have to? Why do we have to? If I want to dress like a guy, so what? I don't, but if I did . . .' (Passengers, p4)
'In my dreams I was happy, whole. I was me. No one cared that I liked girls. I didn't have to keep up this charade or squelch this giant secret that was killing me inside.
I didn't have to. You don't, Mariah. You're not gay.
If I didn't acknowledge the feelings, I wouldn't have to face the fact.
The fact that I was gay.' (Can't Stop the Feeling, p22)
'I was gay, yeah. A lesbian, no question. It was just harder for me. Telling Mom. My friends. Mom didn't believe it. She said, "How do you know? You can't know. You're only fifteen." Yes, Mother. You know at fifteen. You know at twelve, thirteen. You look at girls and you know. You sit next to them in class and you feel it. The attraction, the desire. You hold it inside because you're afraid of it, afraid of what it means. You never tell anyone. You hope it goes away. You hope it doesn't mean what you know it does.' (After Alex, p35)
'"We're not supposed to do it until marriage, okay?" I repeated. "But what if we're not allowed to get married? Like me. How long am I supposed to wait?"...
Errasco ignored us and erased the board.
"I'm serious, Mrs. Errasco. How does this abstinence theory apply to us? Are we never supposed to have sex? Ever?"
She set the eraser in the chalk tray and faced front...
"Well, Aimee." Errasco's eyes lit on me. "I guess that's between you and your god."
I stormed out after class. My god? My god? What did she know about my god? She probably thought that since I was gay, I was godless. Against religion. But I'm not. I have a god. I go to church. My god isn't her god. My god doesn't scorn or condemn me. My god is kind and benevolent and accepting. We made a sacred pact. I'd be the best person I could be and God would save me a place in heaven. My heaven. The real one, where it doesn't matter who you are or how you look or how you sacrifice your dignity and self-respect most days just to be true to yourself.' (Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, p76-77)