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In the Company of Shadows #2
Afterimage
In the Company of Shadows is a series about two people who are thrown together as partners in a secret agency; their mission is to disband rebels who have propagated in a post-war future, but they have to deal with everything that comes with an unlikely partnership as well.
Miscommunication, periods of distance, fleeting smiles and learning to trust someone when a person can't even trust himself, these are what they struggle with while still trying to do their jobs. One is a psychopath, called a murderer and monster and generally deemed subhuman by nearly everyone who knows of him; the other is an introvert, cold and emotionless and so lost in thoughts that he would agree that he can be called a monster of inhumanity. But what makes a person human; is it humanity, compassion, or is it simply the ability to reason? Can a monster be human, and general humanity breed monsters?
While they learn about each other, they learn about themselves; where their loyalty and morality lies, and how learning to trust another person can be incredibly difficult, bittersweet, and rewarding all at the same time. Join Hsin Liu Vega (aka "Sin") and Boyd Beaulieu as they struggle to find where they fit in a world slowly recovering from war.
Status: Complete
Miscommunication, periods of distance, fleeting smiles and learning to trust someone when a person can't even trust himself, these are what they struggle with while still trying to do their jobs. One is a psychopath, called a murderer and monster and generally deemed subhuman by nearly everyone who knows of him; the other is an introvert, cold and emotionless and so lost in thoughts that he would agree that he can be called a monster of inhumanity. But what makes a person human; is it humanity, compassion, or is it simply the ability to reason? Can a monster be human, and general humanity breed monsters?
While they learn about each other, they learn about themselves; where their loyalty and morality lies, and how learning to trust another person can be incredibly difficult, bittersweet, and rewarding all at the same time. Join Hsin Liu Vega (aka "Sin") and Boyd Beaulieu as they struggle to find where they fit in a world slowly recovering from war.
Status: Complete
1015 pages, ebook
First published January 1, 2009
96 people are currently reading
2110 people want to read
About the author
Ais
23books733followersHey! I write LGBTQIA+, usually with a twist. My solo works are mostly fantasy, sci-fi, supernatural, or similar. Currently working on Wildwood Rising, a long LGBTQIA+ fantasy series; first book written/being edited: Incarnations.
Helpful links? Helpful links!
-My masterlist of original writing:
-Some of my favorite solo stories:
-My patreon- $1 for all but most things are eventually free for those who can't/won't pay:
-My site:
By the way, you may know me because I co-wrote In the Company of Shadows.
PS: I can be chatty so if you have questions, feel free to ask! Have a lovely day! <3
Helpful links? Helpful links!
-My masterlist of original writing:
-Some of my favorite solo stories:
-My patreon- $1 for all but most things are eventually free for those who can't/won't pay:
-My site:
By the way, you may know me because I co-wrote In the Company of Shadows.
PS: I can be chatty so if you have questions, feel free to ask! Have a lovely day! <3
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 434 reviews
October 24, 2015
ME, AT THE BEGINNING:
THEN THINGS WENT TO HELL WHEN SIN HAD HIS MELT DOWN:
ME, WHEN BOYD IGNORED SIN WHEN HE WANTED TO OPEN UP ABOUT HIS ISSUES:
ME, THROWING A TANTRUM WHEN ANN AND SIN DID WHAT THEY DID:
ME, WHEN SIN TOLD BOYD ABOUT ANN:
ME, WHEN BOYD DID WHAT HE DID WITH CAPTAIN AMERICA:
KASSIAN:
SIN AND BOYD BEING APART:
THIS BASICALLY SUMS UP MY TOUGHTS ON THE AGENCY:
I SCREAMED THIS A LOT MAKING MYSELF LOOK MORE NUTTIER THAN I AM:
ME, AT MY LAPTOP CURSING THE IDIOTS IN THE BOOK. I'M HOT, RIGHT? LOL
ME, MOST OF THE TIME DURING READING:
THAT PRETTY MUCH SUMS UP ALL MY FEELS FOR THIS BOOK...
THEN THINGS WENT TO HELL WHEN SIN HAD HIS MELT DOWN:
ME, WHEN BOYD IGNORED SIN WHEN HE WANTED TO OPEN UP ABOUT HIS ISSUES:
ME, THROWING A TANTRUM WHEN ANN AND SIN DID WHAT THEY DID:
ME, WHEN SIN TOLD BOYD ABOUT ANN:
ME, WHEN BOYD DID WHAT HE DID WITH CAPTAIN AMERICA:
KASSIAN:
SIN AND BOYD BEING APART:
THIS BASICALLY SUMS UP MY TOUGHTS ON THE AGENCY:
I SCREAMED THIS A LOT MAKING MYSELF LOOK MORE NUTTIER THAN I AM:
ME, AT MY LAPTOP CURSING THE IDIOTS IN THE BOOK. I'M HOT, RIGHT? LOL
ME, MOST OF THE TIME DURING READING:
THAT PRETTY MUCH SUMS UP ALL MY FEELS FOR THIS BOOK...
January 3, 2013
I AM DESTROYED .
Ƿ�
I really love it when I learn something about myself from reading a book.
What I learned from Afterimage: I am a soft-hearted, kind person who wants everyone to be happy. I love fairy tales and puppies and ice cream sundaes.
This? This is torturous angst that rips you apart and skewers you and eats you alive and then spits you out and stomps on you and flicks you off its shoe into a vat of burning lava only to burn to a fiery death.
THIS BOOK WAS ONE OF THE SINGLE MOST PAINFUL JOURNEYS I HAVE EVER HAD TO TAKE�
It felt like I did not breathe even once the entire time.
1500 pages of Evenfall (book 1) sets you up to be so intertwined with these characters that you actually CHOOSE to go through this heartache, rage, WTF’ery…in book 2. I finished with physical and emotional aches…and an underlying, simmering frustration that I can’t quite understand nor shake.
If you’re the kind of person who reads from afar and thinks “oh yay, angst, how fun…let’s see what happens...�, you’ll love this book. Me? I just get WAY too connected, too involved, too invested…this book felt like a breakdown for me. Did I love it? No, I HATED it. Was it brilliant? OF COURSE IT WAS. Urgh. But if I don’t get some kind of reprieve in the next book…if there isn’t even a MORSEL of something good and happy coming up…I will crack open some MAJOR whoopass!
After Book 2:
Boyd � you blabbermouthing WHORE!
Hsin � Heartbreaking, I LOVE YOU HSIN! I WILL NEVER TURN AWAY FROM YOU!
Carhart � Preach, brother…WORD. This man speaks TRUTH.
Kassian � Please…just STAY OUT OF IT, you wanna-be-porn-star
January 6, 2013
This book was horrible! An experience in emotional anguish that I think has left me with a bloody ulcer, a few gray hairs and a nervous tick.
Afterimage is Book 2 of In the Company Of Shadows, and it should come with warnings: Those with heart conditions, stomache conditions, and mental instability, stay far away. Those who find themselves emotionally invested after the 1500 pages of Book 1 ( I defy you not to be) wrap your heart in kevlar and line your stomach with copious amounts of Gaviscon, cause the shits about to go down.
I shout out to Angst lovers from wide and far to gather round, look no further cause here lies your holy grail!
When I read a book like this I wish I was an educated literary smart arse with a psychology degree to be able to break it all down for you. I cannot.
The setting is cold, grey, stormy and does everything to fuel the mood of this book. “Now is the winter of our discontent� is a phrase that kept popping into my head.
Can you imagine a pulse and tone like this for a thousand pages?
then it all gets crushed and broken, becomming a thunderous emotional pounding that moves through ever part of you
call me dramatic, but this is the outcome...you will bleed, heart and soul …you will bleed!
May I mention the ANGER this evokes. Oh. My. God! The fierce rage coupled with the angst is my undoing.
It's all white noise after a while, the numbness settles and after staring off in the distance for an undetermined amount of time, you pick it up, carry on, and experience it all over again!
Why? Why did I read it if it left me in such a state? Because it's brilliant! Because it's fantastic! Because it's an addiction and because I am totally in love with Hsin Liu Vega! It was nothing I expected and more than I could have ever imagined.
I want so much more, even if it kills me, I want more. I am more than emotionally invested here, I am obsessed!
Afterimage is Book 2 of In the Company Of Shadows, and it should come with warnings: Those with heart conditions, stomache conditions, and mental instability, stay far away. Those who find themselves emotionally invested after the 1500 pages of Book 1 ( I defy you not to be) wrap your heart in kevlar and line your stomach with copious amounts of Gaviscon, cause the shits about to go down.
I shout out to Angst lovers from wide and far to gather round, look no further cause here lies your holy grail!
When I read a book like this I wish I was an educated literary smart arse with a psychology degree to be able to break it all down for you. I cannot.
The setting is cold, grey, stormy and does everything to fuel the mood of this book. “Now is the winter of our discontent� is a phrase that kept popping into my head.
Can you imagine a pulse and tone like this for a thousand pages?
then it all gets crushed and broken, becomming a thunderous emotional pounding that moves through ever part of you
call me dramatic, but this is the outcome...you will bleed, heart and soul …you will bleed!
May I mention the ANGER this evokes. Oh. My. God! The fierce rage coupled with the angst is my undoing.
It's all white noise after a while, the numbness settles and after staring off in the distance for an undetermined amount of time, you pick it up, carry on, and experience it all over again!
Why? Why did I read it if it left me in such a state? Because it's brilliant! Because it's fantastic! Because it's an addiction and because I am totally in love with Hsin Liu Vega! It was nothing I expected and more than I could have ever imagined.
I want so much more, even if it kills me, I want more. I am more than emotionally invested here, I am obsessed!
January 10, 2018
I’ve just done my first re-read of this and it was just as emotional and draining as it was the first time.
Despite it being a second read I was completely engrossed just like the first time.
I love Hsin completely and just wished Boyd was worthy of him and wasn’t such a selfish bastard.
This book is long, 1015 pages long and while it’s addictive and brilliant (fully deserving its 5* in my opinion) it also has some slow parts (nothing a bit of editing won’t fix) although it appeared to me that all the slow parts belonged to that selfish bastard Boyd. Maybe I’m biased, who knows?
My original review.
After reading and becoming completely addicted to Evenfall I couldn't wait to start Afterimage until I read some of the reviews.
The result of this was I couldn't bring myself to start it, I pushed it to the side for days while I read whatever I found at the top of my kindle. It was never far from my thoughts but I'd already been through so much with these two I just wanted them together.
I know life within the Agency will never be easy and their missions are beyond dangerous but that didn't matter to me as long as they were facing it together and that was the problem with this book, they weren't.
I love Sin, I suspect it's impossible to read these books and not seriously fall totally in love with him. In Afterimage we discover more about his past and what shaped him into the killing machine he is today and as you can imagine it makes for difficult reading.
This is an incredibly emotional read yet I'd to force myself to put it down at night and even though I was totally exhausted I still couldn't sleep, the book was always on my mind, thinking over what I'd just read and wondering what came next and could I possibly read a bit more, did I really need sleep?
If you've read it you understand just how addictive it is especially when you consider half the time I didn't even like what I was reading. My feelings ranged from upset to absolutely furious and I was completely drained by the time I'd finished.
I've read some of the reviews for The Interludes and I'm glad it's lighter and actually an interlude of sorts because I don't think I could move straight onto another such draining emotional read.
I can't possibly give less than 5* because, well because it's amazing and this is turning out to be one of the best series's I've read.
It's testament to how much I love these books that I've actually put them on my kindle. I have an iPad and a kindle and if I can't do what I want with them then I generally don't do it at all but after reading Evenfall 1 and 2 on my iPad I knew I had to get the series transferred so I cleaned away the cobwebs and wiped away the dust and actually used my computer for something other than playing the occasional Region 1 DVD.
Despite it being a second read I was completely engrossed just like the first time.
I love Hsin completely and just wished Boyd was worthy of him and wasn’t such a selfish bastard.
This book is long, 1015 pages long and while it’s addictive and brilliant (fully deserving its 5* in my opinion) it also has some slow parts (nothing a bit of editing won’t fix) although it appeared to me that all the slow parts belonged to that selfish bastard Boyd. Maybe I’m biased, who knows?
My original review.
After reading and becoming completely addicted to Evenfall I couldn't wait to start Afterimage until I read some of the reviews.
The result of this was I couldn't bring myself to start it, I pushed it to the side for days while I read whatever I found at the top of my kindle. It was never far from my thoughts but I'd already been through so much with these two I just wanted them together.
I know life within the Agency will never be easy and their missions are beyond dangerous but that didn't matter to me as long as they were facing it together and that was the problem with this book, they weren't.
I love Sin, I suspect it's impossible to read these books and not seriously fall totally in love with him. In Afterimage we discover more about his past and what shaped him into the killing machine he is today and as you can imagine it makes for difficult reading.
This is an incredibly emotional read yet I'd to force myself to put it down at night and even though I was totally exhausted I still couldn't sleep, the book was always on my mind, thinking over what I'd just read and wondering what came next and could I possibly read a bit more, did I really need sleep?
If you've read it you understand just how addictive it is especially when you consider half the time I didn't even like what I was reading. My feelings ranged from upset to absolutely furious and I was completely drained by the time I'd finished.
I've read some of the reviews for The Interludes and I'm glad it's lighter and actually an interlude of sorts because I don't think I could move straight onto another such draining emotional read.
I can't possibly give less than 5* because, well because it's amazing and this is turning out to be one of the best series's I've read.
It's testament to how much I love these books that I've actually put them on my kindle. I have an iPad and a kindle and if I can't do what I want with them then I generally don't do it at all but after reading Evenfall 1 and 2 on my iPad I knew I had to get the series transferred so I cleaned away the cobwebs and wiped away the dust and actually used my computer for something other than playing the occasional Region 1 DVD.
December 18, 2023
Well... this was depressing. Though I didn't walk around crying my eyes out (I saved that for ), there was always a general feel of listlessness around me. I didn't really want to do anything else aside from reading THIS. PARTICULAR. BOOK. I tried to resist, believe me, but nothing held my attention: no manga, no fanfiction, no TV series, and not even life in general.
The fragile truce from the end of , which allowed our protagonists a bit of respite, is swiftly coming to an end. Sin's hallucinations are getting steadily worse, causing him to distance himself more and more from Boyd. Not that the latter suspects much, what with the unexpected offer to try out for a promotion.
Even though a 3-month isolation seems perfect for Boyd's 'safety', Sin is not entirely convinced that he can defeat his daemons on his own. Add to that, Kassian's rather close friendship with Boyd, and our resident super-assassin is not a happy camper. As far as he's concerned, Kassian should just restrict his advice to other level 10 trainees.
If only Boyd weren't so dismissive. Then maybe our two protagonists could talk things through, and Sin's mental health would stop its descent into utter despair. Maybe...
For all that I love Sin in all his gloriously murderous and prickly package, I could always relate much more to Boyd. Every single one of Boyd's decisions from this book felt completely understandable to me.
They weren't necessarily kind, and often times utterly painful to witness, seeing as I, the reader, was also privy to Sin's side of things. Still, those two didn't communicate in any way, so from that point of view I could totally see myself making the exact same decisions. And I say all this while having my heart broken all over again over Sin's declining mental health.
Score: 4.7/5 stars
This book was long! I mean truly enormous, with a lot of passages I could've done without. At one point I even started picturing the ridiculousness of Boyd's innumerable inner musings. It felt as if replying to even the simplest question would first cause him go through a half-hour mope fest. It's a wonder no one picked up-- oh wait, never mind.
This book was addictive enough to not let me be able to concentrate on anything else. I wanted to put my entire life on pause, and just immerse myself in the books. And that ending: just plain brilliant. It made me feel equal parts excited, angry, elated, annoyed as well as hopeful.
This level of obsession alone warrants a 5-star rating. Dia darling, you've ruined me for anything outside this series *wails*
====================
Review of vol1 book 1: Evenfall: Volume 1: Director's Cut
Review of vol2 book 1: Evenfall: Volume 2: Director's Cut
Review of book 3: The Interludes
Review of book 4: Fade
The fragile truce from the end of , which allowed our protagonists a bit of respite, is swiftly coming to an end. Sin's hallucinations are getting steadily worse, causing him to distance himself more and more from Boyd. Not that the latter suspects much, what with the unexpected offer to try out for a promotion.
Even though a 3-month isolation seems perfect for Boyd's 'safety', Sin is not entirely convinced that he can defeat his daemons on his own. Add to that, Kassian's rather close friendship with Boyd, and our resident super-assassin is not a happy camper. As far as he's concerned, Kassian should just restrict his advice to other level 10 trainees.
If only Boyd weren't so dismissive. Then maybe our two protagonists could talk things through, and Sin's mental health would stop its descent into utter despair. Maybe...
For all that I love Sin in all his gloriously murderous and prickly package, I could always relate much more to Boyd. Every single one of Boyd's decisions from this book felt completely understandable to me.
They weren't necessarily kind, and often times utterly painful to witness, seeing as I, the reader, was also privy to Sin's side of things. Still, those two didn't communicate in any way, so from that point of view I could totally see myself making the exact same decisions. And I say all this while having my heart broken all over again over Sin's declining mental health.
Score: 4.7/5 stars
This book was long! I mean truly enormous, with a lot of passages I could've done without. At one point I even started picturing the ridiculousness of Boyd's innumerable inner musings. It felt as if replying to even the simplest question would first cause him go through a half-hour mope fest. It's a wonder no one picked up-- oh wait, never mind.
This book was addictive enough to not let me be able to concentrate on anything else. I wanted to put my entire life on pause, and just immerse myself in the books. And that ending: just plain brilliant. It made me feel equal parts excited, angry, elated, annoyed as well as hopeful.
This level of obsession alone warrants a 5-star rating. Dia darling, you've ruined me for anything outside this series *wails*
====================
Review of vol1 book 1: Evenfall: Volume 1: Director's Cut
Review of vol2 book 1: Evenfall: Volume 2: Director's Cut
Review of book 3: The Interludes
Review of book 4: Fade
March 9, 2018
I know many are removing their ratings and reviews of all the books they have read, written by Santino Hassell, in light of his despicable behavior. I have deleted my ratings from all Santino books I have read, because I too am shocked and appalled!!! I won't do it with the ICOS series though. I am gonna be honest here and say, that this series is one of the best I have ever read, and I am sure Ais played a big part in my enjoyment. As far as I know, Ais had nothing to do with all that has happend. Until I hear otherwise, my ratings and reviews for this series, will stay up. I am sorry for those who might not agree with me on this. I would also like to say that I am so sorry for all of you who have been hurt....my heart goes out to all of you ;) xoxo
Re-read 7/13/17...Yeah it was just as gutwrenching as I remember and just as freaking awesome !!!!
Wow...this book took me through the fucking wringer !!
First of all, you need to read book 1 before you read this one. This is a series and the books can not be read as stand alones !!
I myself am an emotional basket case right now...but in a good way lol ;)
Again, there are so many good reviews about the storyline, so I'm not gonna go into that. Just like the previous book, I wouldn't even know where to start.
I will tell you that I spend most of my time pissed off at one of the MC's while reading this.
I really wanted to jump into the book and kick some ass !!
Still, even though this book pissed me off, made me cry and frustrated the hell out of me, it's one of the best books I've read. So far this whole series is. So it was defenitely worth it. I also have an amazing support system, so once again....thank you Susan !!!!
At the end I really needed some laughs, which I got in the form of "Emilio" !! Thank god for his character. I think I fell in love a little :P
Of course I'm gonna jump into book 3 right away. I can't wait to read what happens next. The only problem I'm facing right now, is the fact that I'm a zombie. These books are really long and since I just can't seem to stop reading, my family seems to feel a bit neglected...lol
5 stars for Boyd and Sin and all the awesome sidecharacters !!!
Re-read 7/13/17...Yeah it was just as gutwrenching as I remember and just as freaking awesome !!!!
Wow...this book took me through the fucking wringer !!
First of all, you need to read book 1 before you read this one. This is a series and the books can not be read as stand alones !!
I myself am an emotional basket case right now...but in a good way lol ;)
Again, there are so many good reviews about the storyline, so I'm not gonna go into that. Just like the previous book, I wouldn't even know where to start.
I will tell you that I spend most of my time pissed off at one of the MC's while reading this.
I really wanted to jump into the book and kick some ass !!
Still, even though this book pissed me off, made me cry and frustrated the hell out of me, it's one of the best books I've read. So far this whole series is. So it was defenitely worth it. I also have an amazing support system, so once again....thank you Susan !!!!
At the end I really needed some laughs, which I got in the form of "Emilio" !! Thank god for his character. I think I fell in love a little :P
Of course I'm gonna jump into book 3 right away. I can't wait to read what happens next. The only problem I'm facing right now, is the fact that I'm a zombie. These books are really long and since I just can't seem to stop reading, my family seems to feel a bit neglected...lol
5 stars for Boyd and Sin and all the awesome sidecharacters !!!
February 1, 2016
*** 4 Stars ***
Review to come.
Review to come.
September 7, 2016
5 STARS!
Citizens of ŷ, I am soo damn raw, exhausted, shattered and numb.. And I cant explain the ways my chest is tight and burning. I need a damn hug.
Thank you for tolerating my rants and ramblings full of foul hateful words. I apologize for my behavior. I promise to be better, but I'm notorious at breaking promises. So whatever.
Sigh.
This is ANGST on steroids. And its done in a way that I had to put it down every now and again to get myself a hot chocolate just to calm myself. Because I swear I wanna punch someones face. I've been asked couple of times by people around me if I'm alright cuz this just put me in such a crazy moood. God, I never though a book could evoke pure rage. It's that intense!
Yet it was.. Soo good. Brilliant. Addictive. Epic. That despite of all the frustration, pain, anger and all that.. its DAMN WORTHY!
I couldnt wait to read the next one! Its gonna be a challenge to change my opinion about one of the shittiest character I've ever met.
***
Sin, man. I love you. I love you. Choose me. Im sorry for the things that didn't go right. You have to get better and find real happiness from someone else.
Boyd. When are you gonna die? Cuz I'm throwing a party.
Kassian. You were great and hot. I hope you wont catch STD someday.
Ann. You sick psychiatrist! I admit I like you. But darn it. Why you always gotta floor me like that?!
Zach. General, thanks for looking out for Sin. Please continue to do so.
Vivienne. How about sending your son to a mission he'll surely die? You dont care about him anyway, and you'll do me a favor.
Ryan. Get well baby, you can do this.
Andrew, Emma, Toby, Jon, Patrick, Harriet and okay Cade. You guys are awesome! Proud of you all! Especially you Emma! You added sunshine into this rather gloomy book.
Doug. I don't like you. You don't matter. Be thankful you're getting a shout out too.
Thierry. What did you do here again??
Chignon. What the f??! How? - Just. I wish you stayed dead.
Ari, thanks for reading this with me! I apologize for my constant depressing whinings! Lol.
Santino & Ais. You guys could write! This is looooong. Seriously though, you both rock! Hats off.
Citizens of ŷ, I am soo damn raw, exhausted, shattered and numb.. And I cant explain the ways my chest is tight and burning. I need a damn hug.
Thank you for tolerating my rants and ramblings full of foul hateful words. I apologize for my behavior. I promise to be better, but I'm notorious at breaking promises. So whatever.
Sigh.
This is ANGST on steroids. And its done in a way that I had to put it down every now and again to get myself a hot chocolate just to calm myself. Because I swear I wanna punch someones face. I've been asked couple of times by people around me if I'm alright cuz this just put me in such a crazy moood. God, I never though a book could evoke pure rage. It's that intense!
Yet it was.. Soo good. Brilliant. Addictive. Epic. That despite of all the frustration, pain, anger and all that.. its DAMN WORTHY!
I couldnt wait to read the next one! Its gonna be a challenge to change my opinion about one of the shittiest character I've ever met.
***
Sin, man. I love you. I love you. Choose me. Im sorry for the things that didn't go right. You have to get better and find real happiness from someone else.
Boyd. When are you gonna die? Cuz I'm throwing a party.
Kassian. You were great and hot. I hope you wont catch STD someday.
Ann. You sick psychiatrist! I admit I like you. But darn it. Why you always gotta floor me like that?!
Zach. General, thanks for looking out for Sin. Please continue to do so.
Vivienne. How about sending your son to a mission he'll surely die? You dont care about him anyway, and you'll do me a favor.
Ryan. Get well baby, you can do this.
Andrew, Emma, Toby, Jon, Patrick, Harriet and okay Cade. You guys are awesome! Proud of you all! Especially you Emma! You added sunshine into this rather gloomy book.
Doug. I don't like you. You don't matter. Be thankful you're getting a shout out too.
Thierry. What did you do here again??
Chignon. What the f??! How? - Just. I wish you stayed dead.
Ari, thanks for reading this with me! I apologize for my constant depressing whinings! Lol.
Santino & Ais. You guys could write! This is looooong. Seriously though, you both rock! Hats off.
June 28, 2017
⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Might contain spoilers*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱
I was so fucking disappointed. I had hope that Hsin ‘Sin� Liu Vega (27) and Boyd Beaulieu (21, becomes 22) would become closer, that more depth would enter their relationship; however they were barely together. It was stupid, full of miscommunication, selfishness and boring. The feelings on had started to feel for those two, disappeared, specially for their relationship. That back and forth, going back to square one; even way before that.
“He'd lost the only part of his life that made it worth living because of a couple random fucks. How ridiculous.�
I lost all respect for each and every character and I just wanted to finish the book before I flipped out and killed my pc. Everything just felt distant and there was no connecting between me and the story, the characters or the couple(s). I hated Sin and Boyd at one point, and now I think I still do. I'm not sure if I want to continue the series as I really don't give a fuck, but I hate giving up... Shit.
So what was the point of desperately clinging to something that had turned out to not even be true?
Quick basic facts:
Genre: - (Adult) Science Fiction (?) - Romance (M/M)
Series: - Series, Book Two
Love triangle? -
Cheating? -
HEA? -
Favorite character? - Hsin ‘Sin� Liu Vega? None?
Would I read more by this author/or of series? - Unsure.
Would I recommend this book/series? - Unsure.
Will I read this again in the future? - No.
Rating - 1.5 stars.
Read
March 5, 2018"Love and trust and believing in other people � what was the point when humans were all flawed and fucked up anyway, when they only hurt each other continuously because they were too stupid to do anything else?"
I am sad. So sad.
I finished Afterimage last night and went straight into . Last night I was feeling much better about everything that happened in this book. Throughout Afterimage I told myself that everything that was happening was happening for a reason. That both Boyd and Sin needed to work on their inner demons before they could ever hope to have a truly healthy relationship. The pain that they were inflicting on themselves and each other would all be for the greater good. Then this morning I woke up and realised that I’m a fool, a fool who was in denial. Today I can’t stop thinking about everything Sin. I would just like to go sit somewhere quiet and have a little cry.
The pain and loneliness that Sin experiences in this book is just absolutely heart breaking and the more I think about it the more upsetting it becomes.
I love dual POV’s, they are my favourite type of books to read but this book was one of the best dual POV’s I’ve read. I spent most of my time changing my mind about who was doing the right thing. I would read Boyd’s POV and think to myself ‘I can totally see why he is doing that, he needs to look out for himself, he needs to be selfish or he will never be happy.�
Then I would read a Sin POV and everything would go out the window and my heart would break for him and I would find myself so angry with Boyd for how selfish he was being. Sin makes mistakes, really, really big ones but I honestly was never angry with him. He has absolutely no idea how relationships (not just romantic) work. He has never really been treated as a human so how can he possibly know how to navigate his way through all these new feelings? Add to that the fact that he is very unwell and the people that should be helping are either completely unprofessional (Ann) or just have absolutely no idea how to communicate properly with him (Carhart) and we witness him go through terrible bouts of depression, fear and loneliness.
"I only cared about my life after he was in it. Why should I care now that he’s not anymore?"
"Please don’t hate me ever again."
It was so difficult to see him like this. Sin is a lethal weapon and everyone around him seems to think that he is incapable of remorse or empathy. The reality is in fact the opposite.
"I didn't live up to your expectations and you aren't living up to mine."
There are no real answers to anything in Afterimage. At the end there are just more questions but it definitely gives you a much clearer look at the people that inhabit this world. Nothing in the world of ICoS is black and white and not everybody is what they seem. If I had one complaint it would be the length of the book, it is mammoth and there is a lot of repetition. As with Evenfall I understand that the authors are working on editing it. I usually only give books that I would definitely reread 5 stars and when I finished this I did give it 4 stars as I wasn’t sure I could work my way through it a second time but I will definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, be reading the edited version so that’s a reread right? Sin has kind of made me fall in love with him so it feels wrong not giving it all the stars.
Throughout reading this my brain kept throwing the lyrics of one particular song at me, so it has kind of become my soundtrack for this book. I’m pretty sure that every time I hear it from now on Boyd and Sin will come to mind. Part of me thinks it’s because I went to see the band who sing it two weeks ago so their music is banging around inside my head but I also felt the lyrics were very Boyd and Sin.
“And I have seen all that you've seen
And I have been where you've been
No, our hands will never be clean
At least we can hold each other�
“When You Break�
Bear’s Den
I am sad. So sad.
I finished Afterimage last night and went straight into . Last night I was feeling much better about everything that happened in this book. Throughout Afterimage I told myself that everything that was happening was happening for a reason. That both Boyd and Sin needed to work on their inner demons before they could ever hope to have a truly healthy relationship. The pain that they were inflicting on themselves and each other would all be for the greater good. Then this morning I woke up and realised that I’m a fool, a fool who was in denial. Today I can’t stop thinking about everything Sin. I would just like to go sit somewhere quiet and have a little cry.
The pain and loneliness that Sin experiences in this book is just absolutely heart breaking and the more I think about it the more upsetting it becomes.
I love dual POV’s, they are my favourite type of books to read but this book was one of the best dual POV’s I’ve read. I spent most of my time changing my mind about who was doing the right thing. I would read Boyd’s POV and think to myself ‘I can totally see why he is doing that, he needs to look out for himself, he needs to be selfish or he will never be happy.�
Then I would read a Sin POV and everything would go out the window and my heart would break for him and I would find myself so angry with Boyd for how selfish he was being. Sin makes mistakes, really, really big ones but I honestly was never angry with him. He has absolutely no idea how relationships (not just romantic) work. He has never really been treated as a human so how can he possibly know how to navigate his way through all these new feelings? Add to that the fact that he is very unwell and the people that should be helping are either completely unprofessional (Ann) or just have absolutely no idea how to communicate properly with him (Carhart) and we witness him go through terrible bouts of depression, fear and loneliness.
"I only cared about my life after he was in it. Why should I care now that he’s not anymore?"
"Please don’t hate me ever again."
It was so difficult to see him like this. Sin is a lethal weapon and everyone around him seems to think that he is incapable of remorse or empathy. The reality is in fact the opposite.
"I didn't live up to your expectations and you aren't living up to mine."
There are no real answers to anything in Afterimage. At the end there are just more questions but it definitely gives you a much clearer look at the people that inhabit this world. Nothing in the world of ICoS is black and white and not everybody is what they seem. If I had one complaint it would be the length of the book, it is mammoth and there is a lot of repetition. As with Evenfall I understand that the authors are working on editing it. I usually only give books that I would definitely reread 5 stars and when I finished this I did give it 4 stars as I wasn’t sure I could work my way through it a second time but I will definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, be reading the edited version so that’s a reread right? Sin has kind of made me fall in love with him so it feels wrong not giving it all the stars.
Throughout reading this my brain kept throwing the lyrics of one particular song at me, so it has kind of become my soundtrack for this book. I’m pretty sure that every time I hear it from now on Boyd and Sin will come to mind. Part of me thinks it’s because I went to see the band who sing it two weeks ago so their music is banging around inside my head but I also felt the lyrics were very Boyd and Sin.
“And I have seen all that you've seen
And I have been where you've been
No, our hands will never be clean
At least we can hold each other�
“When You Break�
Bear’s Den
May 31, 2016
THE BIGGEST 5 STARS I EVER GAVE TO A BOOK
This story WAS AMAZING!!!
I enjoyed it way more than . I loved the first one, but the second ... just blew my mind and consumed me SO MUCH!
SIN - he made me love him so much!! His olive skin, deep green eyes and his killer mouth! He was just so vulnerable and his biggest flaw: he loved too much, too deep!
Boyd - well I am very angry with him right now, so all I'm going to say is: I really hope he will do something BIG to make me forgive him!!
This series is truly THE BEST I've read so far. It has A LOT of action, A LOT of suspense and the LOVE ... well it can't be described! It's way too intense!!!
There are no words for this series and this book just broke my heart, but even so I just can't wait to read MORE!!!
This story WAS AMAZING!!!
I enjoyed it way more than . I loved the first one, but the second ... just blew my mind and consumed me SO MUCH!
SIN - he made me love him so much!! His olive skin, deep green eyes and his killer mouth! He was just so vulnerable and his biggest flaw: he loved too much, too deep!
Boyd - well I am very angry with him right now, so all I'm going to say is: I really hope he will do something BIG to make me forgive him!!
This series is truly THE BEST I've read so far. It has A LOT of action, A LOT of suspense and the LOVE ... well it can't be described! It's way too intense!!!
There are no words for this series and this book just broke my heart, but even so I just can't wait to read MORE!!!
Read
March 13, 2018Review Removed.
/user_status...
Just so we're clear, Ais is innocent in all this.
/user_status...
Just so we're clear, Ais is innocent in all this.
Read
March 13, 2018Rating removed because of this:
Ais, you are an awesome writer
Original review:
Hard and raw third installment of "In the Company of shadows" (book 2 if you've read the unedited version) where our heroes are not together, things are tough for both of our guys, and sadness, betrayal and surprises share prominence in an extraordinary plot.
Everything is broken...
One star has fallen, I'm aware of it, believe me, but all the 4 remaining stars are because the book deserves them, because my Hsin deserves them (well, Senior Agent Vega deserves 5 stars himself) and because the masterminds that has created such a wonderful story, with such perfectly developed side characters, deserves them.
But that said, I have to be honest and say that the first half of this book was not my favorite. And that's where my fifth star has gone.
I blame the director's cut I came from, because afterimage is a lot of things, but "cut" it's not one of them.
Thankfully we have Hsin marvelous parts to compensate Boyd boring ones... yes, I'm sorry to say that and you are allowed to criticize me a bit, but there was a moment (the torture test, around 60% of the book) that I thought I was being the victim. I just wanted it over (Boyd drowned or happily alive, but I needed an end and soon).
Ohhh my poor Boyd, how did I say something that awful about him? I'm not proud *gasping and slapping myself* because even if the training was not my cup of tea, I still liked him. Hating his childish and selfishbehavior all the way? Checked. Homicide impulses toward him? Also checked. Wanting him to get lost with Kassian? Checked, checked and checked buuuuut I didn´t hate him, not that much at least, I disliked him, yes, because that's what Santino & Ais wanted from me and they got it and in a superb way, as usual.
The thing is Boyd's attitude and behavior is done to affect the reader, to create feelings in us. In my case, I was mad at him because no one mess with my Hsin, but I had to recognize that all his actions were a huge cause and effect thing, and he was 22, and broken, and clueless, and in love... And I could add lots of "ands" here, because there are so many layers that can make the reader like or hate Boyd. He is so well written that empathize with him is easy or, at least, affordable. He is so complex, so detailed... once again, the authors has done a terrific job sketching and developing an amazing character. Excellent.
Something that you learn Reading this story is that Boyd isreal. He makes mistakes, his decision-making process can be wrong, his vision of the reality about Sin could seem incorrect, but he is so human, so young, so frustrated so...wrong.
We are supposed to love Hsin. The authors have created the scenario to favour him, all this drama, Boyd's mistakes, his faux passes, everything is written to end the way it ends. To drive both characters to a certain ending. And it is flawlessly executed. I'm amazed.
Even when you are hating Boyd (or disliking him) you know he has his reasons. He doesn't want an unhealthy relationship, he wants to grow up individually and get things by himself and also, it's a huge responsibility to be the rock, the pillar, for someone who is mentally ill. Boyd is just a kid. One that made me very uncomfortable many, many times.
So, sumarizing, the missed fifth star went to the training and also to the slow parts in Boyd's life. There was a moment when he went to buy a car and I had to read 10 pages about it... OMG, I wanted to kill myself again. (number of pages randomly chosen, but it was something like that and I am just too lazy and to count them now).
Well. I'm done with my inner critical bitch now and I'm ready to start talking about my poor, hot and beloved Hsin (don't you worry, I'll try to keep it short)
He is alone and lonely...
Hsin has to deal with a lot of things: illness, the absence of Boyd, the reject from his friend, partner and lover. He is alone, he's always been and facing his shitty life thinking he has zero support, assuming he deserves all the bad things because he is a monster, broke my heart in a million pieces.
Hsin parts are full of terrific quotes and the sad atmosphere is perfectly executed. I felt everything. I pitied him, and understood him, and even made excuses for him. Because he is lost, and amazing, and completely broken. Hsin Lou Vega is, without any doubt from my part, one of the best characters ever done. He is complex and fragile even if he is a killer. He is brave but at the same time dependent. He is ill but also admirable or maybe heis admirable because he is ill and stillliving or trying to...*long sigh*
And what do I expect now? I don´t know, but I want some peace. Not that many uncomfortable scenes. Scenes that deserve a huge ranting themselvesbut I wanted this spoiler free so I´m not talking about them. But, really, I need more fun, more love, more Hsin&Boyd, more Santino´s bitter humor.
Ais, you are an awesome writer
Original review:
Hard and raw third installment of "In the Company of shadows" (book 2 if you've read the unedited version) where our heroes are not together, things are tough for both of our guys, and sadness, betrayal and surprises share prominence in an extraordinary plot.
Everything is broken...
One star has fallen, I'm aware of it, believe me, but all the 4 remaining stars are because the book deserves them, because my Hsin deserves them (well, Senior Agent Vega deserves 5 stars himself) and because the masterminds that has created such a wonderful story, with such perfectly developed side characters, deserves them.
But that said, I have to be honest and say that the first half of this book was not my favorite. And that's where my fifth star has gone.
I blame the director's cut I came from, because afterimage is a lot of things, but "cut" it's not one of them.
Thankfully we have Hsin marvelous parts to compensate Boyd boring ones... yes, I'm sorry to say that and you are allowed to criticize me a bit, but there was a moment (the torture test, around 60% of the book) that I thought I was being the victim. I just wanted it over (Boyd drowned or happily alive, but I needed an end and soon).
Ohhh my poor Boyd, how did I say something that awful about him? I'm not proud *gasping and slapping myself* because even if the training was not my cup of tea, I still liked him. Hating his childish and selfishbehavior all the way? Checked. Homicide impulses toward him? Also checked. Wanting him to get lost with Kassian? Checked, checked and checked buuuuut I didn´t hate him, not that much at least, I disliked him, yes, because that's what Santino & Ais wanted from me and they got it and in a superb way, as usual.
The thing is Boyd's attitude and behavior is done to affect the reader, to create feelings in us. In my case, I was mad at him because no one mess with my Hsin, but I had to recognize that all his actions were a huge cause and effect thing, and he was 22, and broken, and clueless, and in love... And I could add lots of "ands" here, because there are so many layers that can make the reader like or hate Boyd. He is so well written that empathize with him is easy or, at least, affordable. He is so complex, so detailed... once again, the authors has done a terrific job sketching and developing an amazing character. Excellent.
Something that you learn Reading this story is that Boyd isreal. He makes mistakes, his decision-making process can be wrong, his vision of the reality about Sin could seem incorrect, but he is so human, so young, so frustrated so...wrong.
We are supposed to love Hsin. The authors have created the scenario to favour him, all this drama, Boyd's mistakes, his faux passes, everything is written to end the way it ends. To drive both characters to a certain ending. And it is flawlessly executed. I'm amazed.
Even when you are hating Boyd (or disliking him) you know he has his reasons. He doesn't want an unhealthy relationship, he wants to grow up individually and get things by himself and also, it's a huge responsibility to be the rock, the pillar, for someone who is mentally ill. Boyd is just a kid. One that made me very uncomfortable many, many times.
So, sumarizing, the missed fifth star went to the training and also to the slow parts in Boyd's life. There was a moment when he went to buy a car and I had to read 10 pages about it... OMG, I wanted to kill myself again. (number of pages randomly chosen, but it was something like that and I am just too lazy and to count them now).
Well. I'm done with my inner critical bitch now and I'm ready to start talking about my poor, hot and beloved Hsin (don't you worry, I'll try to keep it short)
He is alone and lonely...
Hsin has to deal with a lot of things: illness, the absence of Boyd, the reject from his friend, partner and lover. He is alone, he's always been and facing his shitty life thinking he has zero support, assuming he deserves all the bad things because he is a monster, broke my heart in a million pieces.
Hsin parts are full of terrific quotes and the sad atmosphere is perfectly executed. I felt everything. I pitied him, and understood him, and even made excuses for him. Because he is lost, and amazing, and completely broken. Hsin Lou Vega is, without any doubt from my part, one of the best characters ever done. He is complex and fragile even if he is a killer. He is brave but at the same time dependent. He is ill but also admirable or maybe heis admirable because he is ill and stillliving or trying to...*long sigh*
And what do I expect now? I don´t know, but I want some peace. Not that many uncomfortable scenes. Scenes that deserve a huge ranting themselvesbut I wanted this spoiler free so I´m not talking about them. But, really, I need more fun, more love, more Hsin&Boyd, more Santino´s bitter humor.
February 21, 2013
I didn't think it was possible for Sonny and Ais to write a book as amazing as Evenfall, but they did it. Afterimage is absolutely incredible, I have no idea how to tell you just how much I loved it, but I'll give it a good go...
I was warned by many ICoS fans that this book would crush my heart, and my soul. But I was very happy to discover that I could totally handle it. Okay I will admit that I did cry, hideously so at times, but I handled all the other stuff just fine. LOL
I am going to try and tell you about this book, but not in too much detail. There are so many twists and turns here that if I told you too much, there would be no surprises left, and that would ruin everything. Which I would never do to you guys.
In Evenfall we got to see Sin and Boyd come together, as partners, as friends and as lovers. We know just how deeply they care for each other, how much they depend on each other for affection, for comfort and safety. What we are shown in Afterimage is that Sin and Boyd's full-on co-dependence, could never work for long. No matter how much Sin and Boyd want to be together, they are both broken in their own ways. As hard as it is to see, they both need time to learn and to grow as individuals, before they can be any good for each other.
** Some spoilers ahead ****
Ann is a very difficult character for me to talk about, because although I want to hate her, I still don't. I liked her at the start of this book and was happy when Sin became her patient. Was I worried about it? Yes, of course. But I really thought she could help Sin, and she did. There was one instance where I was beyond furious with her. I think she took advantage of Sin when he was at his weakest point. She abused her position as his doctor, for her own gain, which was disgusting. She also put Sin in a horrible situation, which led to him having an Episode. She stupidly put herself and her needs before his.
But when it comes down to it, Ann is the one who got Sin to talk. Ann is the one who got him his initial diagnosis after years of failed attempts. She is also the one that was there for him when he needed someone. Do I agree with it? Holy crap no, I hated it. But she was there for him when Boyd and Carhart had their heads so far up their own arses that they weren't there for Sin when he needed them most.
Ann also went to help Boyd, she told him everything he needed to hear, which helped him move things along with Sin.
So as much as I disliked her at times, Ann played a pivotal role in this book.
One man that I really adored in this book, was Kassian. Every single scene with him, I warmed to him even more. He's such an amazing guy.
I think this was the perfect way to describe him (from Boyd)...
'Boyd truly liked Kassian as a person; Kassian was thoughtful, objective, serious, mischievous, funny, kind... He knew how to make a person feel like it was okay just being themselves while at the same time he didn't let things slide if someone did something out of line.'
He was the person who was always on Boyd's side. He was there when Boyd needed a friend, someone to talk to. He was there to make Boyd laugh when he felt like there was nothing more to laugh about.
Some of my favourite scenes in this book were between these guys and I loved every time Kassian took Boyd out on his motorbike.
There was one part in this book that probably should've made me a little angry at Kassian. But I found myself enjoying every single dirty second of it. LOL. I actually wanted more and I re-read that one per-cent three times. It was incredibly sexy.
"You'd asked me why I was attracted to you," Kassian replied, running his tongue along Boyd's neck. "I think it's your androgyny. It fucking turns me on like nothing else."
Oh, and Vivienne is as cold as ever. Surprise, surprise! But she does something so damn shocking to Boyd in this book. I don't think I could ever understand her. But I think she has just lost her last chance with Boyd, not that she deserves anything less.
Anyway, back to Sin and Boyd.
I was a little disappointed that we got such little time with Sin and Boyd when they were happy, before everything fell apart. Things went wrong so quickly and we only go to see distant light at the end of the tunnel within the last few pages of the book. After everything, I think we (as readers) deserved a bit of relaxed, sexy time. LOL
Sin is really suffering in this book; it broke my heart to see him so alone. To see him completely falling apart with no one he felt he could turn to. It seems like as soon as he let himself care for Boyd and realised how much he already cared about Carhart, that the flood-gates open and all the old evil flowed out. He was plagued with guilt, insomnia, awful nightmares and hallucinations of all the people he has killed. Seeing Sin in therapy and finally getting the help he needs was great, but really hard to read. Knowing some of what he went through as a child was enlightening and heart-breaking.
I desperately wanted Sin to tell Boyd what was happening, knowing that the deceit would cause problems for them. But poor Sin was so scared...
'How could he ruin it? How could he take the faith Boyd had in him and crush it, proving that Sin really was psychotic, dangerous, capable of monstrous things? How could Sin correct him, change that viewpoint and take away that comforting touch forever?...How could he potentially scare away the only person who'd ever made him smile?'
Worst of all was the fact that Boyd was nowhere to be seen when Sin needed him. Once he got into the Rank 10 training, all thoughts of Sin were gone.
I never thought I would be so angry at Boyd, but holy crap, was I. I could not believe how self-centred he was in this book. All he cared about was making himself be a better/stronger person. He paid no attention to the fact that Sin was deteriorating right in front of him. Never asked why he looked like he was getting better and never cared to ask what was going on. It made me so angry and sad on Sin's behalf.
There are so many problems with them personally; it is making it impossible for them to have a functional relationship. So I think that them being apart is for the best, for now.
The last 15% of this book was absolutely out of this world, indescribably brilliant. There were so many things going on at once, and two massive revelations that totally made my head spin.
The introduction of the new team member was amazing. He seems like a bit of a creepy arsehole, but I think I love him already. There are some frickin hilarious quotes I want to post from him, but that would be giving too much away :(
I have one last thing to say... Em, you are a fucking genius! I cannot believe that you figured this out before we even finished Evenfall. *bows*
I am dying to start Interludes, but will be happy for a few days break. My heart really needs it.
We see hope for Sin and Boyd at the end of this book, but they still have a very long way to go.
I was warned by many ICoS fans that this book would crush my heart, and my soul. But I was very happy to discover that I could totally handle it. Okay I will admit that I did cry, hideously so at times, but I handled all the other stuff just fine. LOL
I am going to try and tell you about this book, but not in too much detail. There are so many twists and turns here that if I told you too much, there would be no surprises left, and that would ruin everything. Which I would never do to you guys.
In Evenfall we got to see Sin and Boyd come together, as partners, as friends and as lovers. We know just how deeply they care for each other, how much they depend on each other for affection, for comfort and safety. What we are shown in Afterimage is that Sin and Boyd's full-on co-dependence, could never work for long. No matter how much Sin and Boyd want to be together, they are both broken in their own ways. As hard as it is to see, they both need time to learn and to grow as individuals, before they can be any good for each other.
** Some spoilers ahead ****
Ann is a very difficult character for me to talk about, because although I want to hate her, I still don't. I liked her at the start of this book and was happy when Sin became her patient. Was I worried about it? Yes, of course. But I really thought she could help Sin, and she did. There was one instance where I was beyond furious with her. I think she took advantage of Sin when he was at his weakest point. She abused her position as his doctor, for her own gain, which was disgusting. She also put Sin in a horrible situation, which led to him having an Episode. She stupidly put herself and her needs before his.
But when it comes down to it, Ann is the one who got Sin to talk. Ann is the one who got him his initial diagnosis after years of failed attempts. She is also the one that was there for him when he needed someone. Do I agree with it? Holy crap no, I hated it. But she was there for him when Boyd and Carhart had their heads so far up their own arses that they weren't there for Sin when he needed them most.
Ann also went to help Boyd, she told him everything he needed to hear, which helped him move things along with Sin.
So as much as I disliked her at times, Ann played a pivotal role in this book.
One man that I really adored in this book, was Kassian. Every single scene with him, I warmed to him even more. He's such an amazing guy.
I think this was the perfect way to describe him (from Boyd)...
'Boyd truly liked Kassian as a person; Kassian was thoughtful, objective, serious, mischievous, funny, kind... He knew how to make a person feel like it was okay just being themselves while at the same time he didn't let things slide if someone did something out of line.'
He was the person who was always on Boyd's side. He was there when Boyd needed a friend, someone to talk to. He was there to make Boyd laugh when he felt like there was nothing more to laugh about.
Some of my favourite scenes in this book were between these guys and I loved every time Kassian took Boyd out on his motorbike.
There was one part in this book that probably should've made me a little angry at Kassian. But I found myself enjoying every single dirty second of it. LOL. I actually wanted more and I re-read that one per-cent three times. It was incredibly sexy.
"You'd asked me why I was attracted to you," Kassian replied, running his tongue along Boyd's neck. "I think it's your androgyny. It fucking turns me on like nothing else."
Oh, and Vivienne is as cold as ever. Surprise, surprise! But she does something so damn shocking to Boyd in this book. I don't think I could ever understand her. But I think she has just lost her last chance with Boyd, not that she deserves anything less.
Anyway, back to Sin and Boyd.
I was a little disappointed that we got such little time with Sin and Boyd when they were happy, before everything fell apart. Things went wrong so quickly and we only go to see distant light at the end of the tunnel within the last few pages of the book. After everything, I think we (as readers) deserved a bit of relaxed, sexy time. LOL
Sin is really suffering in this book; it broke my heart to see him so alone. To see him completely falling apart with no one he felt he could turn to. It seems like as soon as he let himself care for Boyd and realised how much he already cared about Carhart, that the flood-gates open and all the old evil flowed out. He was plagued with guilt, insomnia, awful nightmares and hallucinations of all the people he has killed. Seeing Sin in therapy and finally getting the help he needs was great, but really hard to read. Knowing some of what he went through as a child was enlightening and heart-breaking.
I desperately wanted Sin to tell Boyd what was happening, knowing that the deceit would cause problems for them. But poor Sin was so scared...
'How could he ruin it? How could he take the faith Boyd had in him and crush it, proving that Sin really was psychotic, dangerous, capable of monstrous things? How could Sin correct him, change that viewpoint and take away that comforting touch forever?...How could he potentially scare away the only person who'd ever made him smile?'
Worst of all was the fact that Boyd was nowhere to be seen when Sin needed him. Once he got into the Rank 10 training, all thoughts of Sin were gone.
I never thought I would be so angry at Boyd, but holy crap, was I. I could not believe how self-centred he was in this book. All he cared about was making himself be a better/stronger person. He paid no attention to the fact that Sin was deteriorating right in front of him. Never asked why he looked like he was getting better and never cared to ask what was going on. It made me so angry and sad on Sin's behalf.
There are so many problems with them personally; it is making it impossible for them to have a functional relationship. So I think that them being apart is for the best, for now.
The last 15% of this book was absolutely out of this world, indescribably brilliant. There were so many things going on at once, and two massive revelations that totally made my head spin.
The introduction of the new team member was amazing. He seems like a bit of a creepy arsehole, but I think I love him already. There are some frickin hilarious quotes I want to post from him, but that would be giving too much away :(
I have one last thing to say... Em, you are a fucking genius! I cannot believe that you figured this out before we even finished Evenfall. *bows*
I am dying to start Interludes, but will be happy for a few days break. My heart really needs it.
We see hope for Sin and Boyd at the end of this book, but they still have a very long way to go.
July 21, 2023
� 3.75 stars �
“For too long, the silence between them had been damning, painful, and the distance had seemed larger than the physical space between them.�
It was only until after I finished reading Afterimage that I looked up it's definition and realized just how fitting the title was. Boyd and Sin are having to face the lingering effects of what their actions in the past have led them to where they are now.
“But Sin couldn't because of the dark shadow that followed him around constantly and wouldn't let him be.
So he just intertwined his fingers with Boyd's and closed his eyes, squeezing Boyd's hand in an unspoken 'thank you for trusting me, thank you for having faith in me' and hoped, for Boyd's safety, that he wouldn't fall asleep.�
It was hard not having Boyd and Sin see eye-to-eye on well, literally everything. It was tough not having them be together in this part. It was difficult knowing that the reason for what they were going through was initially something that they chose to do, so they could be of equal level with one another, was the very catalyst to which their relationship eventually fell apart. And yet, as frustrating as it was - throughout the struggles and the mishaps - I could see the slight glimmers of growth and understanding in their personalities - that the distance apart actually helped them become more clear-minded, in hindsight. My heart just felt so hollow at the helplessness of all the situations they found themselves in.
“Kassian's eyes rose and met Boyd's steadily. "I'm becoming really fond of having you around, Boyd.�
Will I ever warm up to Kassian? It's too soon to say - no one likes the third person who gets in your way of your otp - but, he's not a bad person, so maybe, there is some good to him being a part of this. It was so interesting to see how he was viewed so very differently from both Sin and Boyd - that he is both the good and the bad parts of their lives. He was much like Ann, for the better part of the book, till her character arc sorta fell off - little did I know, that it was setting up for an even more unexpected turn of events.
“But they were two self-destructive people who hurt each other and themselves unintentionally; they were the product of what happened when extreme desperation and loneliness met.
And until they were both stable enough on their own to be primarily a positive influence on the other and not largely a negative too, then they were worse off together than apart.�
There's this thing I do that when I'm listening to a discussion and I want to weigh in my thoughts on a particular subject, somehow, as I'm about to speak - my mind instantly gives me a counter argument to my statement. So, I stop. It may not be quite the same parallel, but to read the inner wars that were raging inside Sin and Boyd's minds as they attempted to rationalize their own actions - because, it was not entirely their fault for how and what and why they were acting the way that they were. There is equal heartache and heartbreak on both sides and it was upsetting that they both have never understood the true meaning of what it means to love someone - that whenever they think they're doing something right, they say something wrong, instead.
Miscommunication, misinformation, and misunderstandings were their true enemies - not each other.
“It's selfish but thinking that you want to be terminated—I just..."
Boyd shook his head briefly as his fingers strengthened a little against Sin's cheek.
"All I can think is I want you to get better. Not for me, not for anyone; just for yourself. You deserve it like anyone else does. I want you to have a chance to feel happy. And I want us to try to be friends again, to figure this all out.�
And even though volume II is unedited and very wordy - I was never bored. Not once. Even as I agonized alongside the mental and physical torture, even as I participated in Boyd's traumatizing training, even as Sin fought against his ferocious nature - I wanted to know how it would all turn out. I had to read through it all, to better understand how they would end up where they were. The writers kept that pace going so earnestly well for me, that when the ending came - it left me blindsided and as speechless and stunned as everyone else in the conference room! Literally gob-smacked that just left me wondering, 'how could you do this - how could I have missed this?!'
It really is a credit to the authors - that it doesn't feel like they're just throwing ideas out there. For as long-winded and agonizing journey, we are on - there is a destination in mind. And how the ending came full-closure with just the two of them again - reaching out in comfort and support - I can only hope, as much as Sin is hopeful for - that these two will find a way back to each other.
And please, a request for more Ryan in the later books. For a character who is as much of a traumatic past as the company of the men he keeps, his light still shines the brightest in the shadows.
“For too long, the silence between them had been damning, painful, and the distance had seemed larger than the physical space between them.�
It was only until after I finished reading Afterimage that I looked up it's definition and realized just how fitting the title was. Boyd and Sin are having to face the lingering effects of what their actions in the past have led them to where they are now.
“But Sin couldn't because of the dark shadow that followed him around constantly and wouldn't let him be.
So he just intertwined his fingers with Boyd's and closed his eyes, squeezing Boyd's hand in an unspoken 'thank you for trusting me, thank you for having faith in me' and hoped, for Boyd's safety, that he wouldn't fall asleep.�
It was hard not having Boyd and Sin see eye-to-eye on well, literally everything. It was tough not having them be together in this part. It was difficult knowing that the reason for what they were going through was initially something that they chose to do, so they could be of equal level with one another, was the very catalyst to which their relationship eventually fell apart. And yet, as frustrating as it was - throughout the struggles and the mishaps - I could see the slight glimmers of growth and understanding in their personalities - that the distance apart actually helped them become more clear-minded, in hindsight. My heart just felt so hollow at the helplessness of all the situations they found themselves in.
“Kassian's eyes rose and met Boyd's steadily. "I'm becoming really fond of having you around, Boyd.�
Will I ever warm up to Kassian? It's too soon to say - no one likes the third person who gets in your way of your otp - but, he's not a bad person, so maybe, there is some good to him being a part of this. It was so interesting to see how he was viewed so very differently from both Sin and Boyd - that he is both the good and the bad parts of their lives. He was much like Ann, for the better part of the book, till her character arc sorta fell off - little did I know, that it was setting up for an even more unexpected turn of events.
“But they were two self-destructive people who hurt each other and themselves unintentionally; they were the product of what happened when extreme desperation and loneliness met.
And until they were both stable enough on their own to be primarily a positive influence on the other and not largely a negative too, then they were worse off together than apart.�
There's this thing I do that when I'm listening to a discussion and I want to weigh in my thoughts on a particular subject, somehow, as I'm about to speak - my mind instantly gives me a counter argument to my statement. So, I stop. It may not be quite the same parallel, but to read the inner wars that were raging inside Sin and Boyd's minds as they attempted to rationalize their own actions - because, it was not entirely their fault for how and what and why they were acting the way that they were. There is equal heartache and heartbreak on both sides and it was upsetting that they both have never understood the true meaning of what it means to love someone - that whenever they think they're doing something right, they say something wrong, instead.
Miscommunication, misinformation, and misunderstandings were their true enemies - not each other.
“It's selfish but thinking that you want to be terminated—I just..."
Boyd shook his head briefly as his fingers strengthened a little against Sin's cheek.
"All I can think is I want you to get better. Not for me, not for anyone; just for yourself. You deserve it like anyone else does. I want you to have a chance to feel happy. And I want us to try to be friends again, to figure this all out.�
And even though volume II is unedited and very wordy - I was never bored. Not once. Even as I agonized alongside the mental and physical torture, even as I participated in Boyd's traumatizing training, even as Sin fought against his ferocious nature - I wanted to know how it would all turn out. I had to read through it all, to better understand how they would end up where they were. The writers kept that pace going so earnestly well for me, that when the ending came - it left me blindsided and as speechless and stunned as everyone else in the conference room! Literally gob-smacked that just left me wondering, 'how could you do this - how could I have missed this?!'
It really is a credit to the authors - that it doesn't feel like they're just throwing ideas out there. For as long-winded and agonizing journey, we are on - there is a destination in mind. And how the ending came full-closure with just the two of them again - reaching out in comfort and support - I can only hope, as much as Sin is hopeful for - that these two will find a way back to each other.
And please, a request for more Ryan in the later books. For a character who is as much of a traumatic past as the company of the men he keeps, his light still shines the brightest in the shadows.
August 11, 2015
The book is BRILLIANT!
I felt so much
DzԱԱ�
ѾܲԻٲԻ徱Բ�
Stupidity and Madness...
Pain...
Heartbreak...
Love...
Passion...
And just... fireworks
I LOVED IT... to the next one�
I felt so much
DzԱԱ�
ѾܲԻٲԻ徱Բ�
Stupidity and Madness...
Pain...
Heartbreak...
Love...
Passion...
And just... fireworks
I LOVED IT... to the next one�
June 26, 2012
I'm gonna fight them all
A seven nation army couldn't hold me back
They're gonna rip it off
Taking their time right behind my back
Don't want to hear about it
Every single one's got a story to tell
Everyone knows about it
From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell
And if I catch it coming back my way
I'm gonna serve it to you
And that aint what you want to hear
But thats what I'll do
And the feeling coming from my bones
Says find a home
I'm going to Wichita
Far from this opera for evermore
I'm gonna work the straw
Make the sweat drip out of every pore
And I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding
Right before the lord
All the words are gonna bleed from me
And I will sing no more
And the stains coming from my blood
Tell me go back home
A seven nation army couldn't hold me back
They're gonna rip it off
Taking their time right behind my back
Don't want to hear about it
Every single one's got a story to tell
Everyone knows about it
From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell
And if I catch it coming back my way
I'm gonna serve it to you
And that aint what you want to hear
But thats what I'll do
And the feeling coming from my bones
Says find a home
I'm going to Wichita
Far from this opera for evermore
I'm gonna work the straw
Make the sweat drip out of every pore
And I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding
Right before the lord
All the words are gonna bleed from me
And I will sing no more
And the stains coming from my blood
Tell me go back home
Read
March 10, 2018I'm removing my rating, but not my review. I still love this series, even though I most definitely do not condone what SH has done.
-------------------------------------------
Another excellent book in the ICoS series. Words can never express my feelings for these books. I have been totally consumed by them. I could not stop thinking about Sin and Boyd. These books suck you in..
This one was all about the feels�
This book had me crying and hurting along with Sin and Boyd, but also laughing. I fell in love with all the characters even more in this installment.
My beautiful Boyd
Gorgeous Sin
The world Santino & Ais created�. I am so in awe anyone could write with this much feeling.
These characters are not perfect, they are flawed in so many ways. They make a lot of mistakes and they hurt each other. Often without meaning to. But because I loved the characters I had no trouble forgiving any of their actions. What they did may not have been smart, but it was all understandable. Not once did I ‘hate� one of the beautiful people in this book. Well, except the bad guys of course� And Boyd’s mother, Vivienne, damn what a bitch� don’t think I will ever like her.
And at the end, one of my favorite characters came back! Yay, this guy is so hilarious! I am going to love reading more about him in the next book. I love his attitude: quit whining and deal with it!
-------------------------------------------
Another excellent book in the ICoS series. Words can never express my feelings for these books. I have been totally consumed by them. I could not stop thinking about Sin and Boyd. These books suck you in..
This one was all about the feels�
This book had me crying and hurting along with Sin and Boyd, but also laughing. I fell in love with all the characters even more in this installment.
My beautiful Boyd
Gorgeous Sin
The world Santino & Ais created�. I am so in awe anyone could write with this much feeling.
These characters are not perfect, they are flawed in so many ways. They make a lot of mistakes and they hurt each other. Often without meaning to. But because I loved the characters I had no trouble forgiving any of their actions. What they did may not have been smart, but it was all understandable. Not once did I ‘hate� one of the beautiful people in this book. Well, except the bad guys of course� And Boyd’s mother, Vivienne, damn what a bitch� don’t think I will ever like her.
And at the end, one of my favorite characters came back! Yay, this guy is so hilarious! I am going to love reading more about him in the next book. I love his attitude: quit whining and deal with it!
August 5, 2016
So…Afterimage. Angst raised to the Superpower.
Everybody kept saying how hard it was for them to read this book after they came to love the guys being together in Evenfall. I can’t say that I enjoyed reading about how it all went to hell page by angsty page, but I for one wouldn’t have it any other way. All these problems that they have as individual beings, it would be highly unrealistic if they easily overcame them.
Look at Sin. The guy’s mental problems are so off the charts that he is walking nuclear accident waiting to happen.
Look at Boyd. The kid has a fight with his boyfriend and fucks up everything and everyone in a five mile radius.
Speaking of Boyd, I can’t believe how everyone is so mad at the guy all the time, like everything that happens is his fault and his alone. When Sin fucks up, everyone (including me) thinks how he is not to blame because the poor guy is suffering so much. When Boyd fucks up, everyone (not me) is ready to crucify him because he broke poor Sin’s heart. Oh really? How many kinds of awesome would someone have to be in order to be with Sin at this point?
I really love Sin, but the thing about Boyd is that I can relate to the guy. The mistakes that he made throughout this book are mistakes that I could have easily made if I were in his shoes. I wish people weren’t so quick to judge him.
As for the rest� There were a couple of chapters that turned me a couple of shades paler and a couple of characters that I really wanted to bitch slap (hello “Dr�.Ann). I loved Boyd’s new friends from the training, especially Emma and Harriet. I was beginning to worry that there wouldn’t be any amiable female characters in this series�
And holy mother of Endings�
I have a good feeling about the remaining books now that the worst (I hope) part is behind me. Needless to say that I’m addicted to this series and I think it will be hard to find something that I’ll enjoy reading as much once it’s finished. But look at the bright side. 2,500 pages to go.
Yay.
November 10, 2024
“I only cared about my life after he was in it. Why should I care now that he's not anymore?�
That quote DESTROYED me I'm not even kidding.
Though this book didn't quite blow my mind the way Evenfall did, it was still riveting and glorious. The plot was more intense this time. It has plenty of intrigue that kept me on the edge of my seat.
I want to hug both Sin and Boyd but at the same time I want to punch them and knock some sense into them. Argh. They frustrate the hell out of me. They were both too proud and hard-headed it's infuriating. *gives myself a comforting cake*
All in all, this was a great continuation of the series and while it's certainly not without its flaws, this installment still fvcked me up in the best way. I can't wait to see what the next book brings.
That quote DESTROYED me I'm not even kidding.
Though this book didn't quite blow my mind the way Evenfall did, it was still riveting and glorious. The plot was more intense this time. It has plenty of intrigue that kept me on the edge of my seat.
I want to hug both Sin and Boyd but at the same time I want to punch them and knock some sense into them. Argh. They frustrate the hell out of me. They were both too proud and hard-headed it's infuriating. *gives myself a comforting cake*
All in all, this was a great continuation of the series and while it's certainly not without its flaws, this installment still fvcked me up in the best way. I can't wait to see what the next book brings.
Read
March 6, 2018i didn't particularly like this anyways so cry 2 tears in a bucket, fuck it.
review removed
review removed
March 29, 2013
**Beware of Spoilers**
It will never cease to amaze and disappoint me what people do to each other in this world. How we affect each other’s lives with pain and hurt; love and passion; words and touch. People leave a mark whether they realize it or not. We are all so afraid of showing our true selves. So afraid someone will use it, turn and twist it all against us and HURT. For me, this story is about how we see ourselves, how people see us, and how it all gets so tangled up when we try to protect or hide who we are from the people we love.
Son. Killer. Monster. Lover. Traitor. Strong. Cold. Perfect. Beautiful. Insane.
People see what they want to see. You can’t convince someone what they see or feel is not there, real, right or wrong. Trying to fight against or change an image or perception placed on you is almost impossible. People will see what they need to in order to survive or justify the world around them.
”You can both struggle as much as you want against those perceptions but if the majority of people won’t let you be anything but what they want you to be, I imagine after a time it just seems easy to give up and give them what they want.�
Afterimage is book two in The Company of Shadows (ICoS) series by Sonny Hassell and Ais. A dark, dark world and journey I wish I could explain. I can’t seem to find the right words though. At times, the experience felt like a hot knife twisting in my gut. Even the word “powerful� somehow fails to capture the emotion for me. These pages are an all-consuming emotional soul fuck! The fun, sexy vibe from book one is gone. A raw, dirty, dark feeling lives and lurks under the words now. A reading journey that made my body tense up, frustration bubble, heart break, and sob. Tears that I thought were long dead and gone came back to haunt and hurt me. And after all that said, I didn’t even scratch the surface�..
Sin and Boyd’s lives implode, explode, and shatter to bits. Hell, the shit hits the fan almost immediately! Everything ugly—all the pain and hurt—people do to each other in this world come out to play here and hit Sin and Boyd full force. Hallucinations and guilt are pulling Sin apart, while Boyd faces new challenges of his own. Demons can never hide for long. Surprises, pain, betrayals, self-hatred, guilt, depression, and shame—it’s all in here. Pure, PURE agony on the page. An *intense* (grind your teeth) read filled with pain and ugliness. But one I will never forget or regret.
Why? After my dark, depressing opening, you might be wondering why I would put myself through this, but it comes down to one simple fact really. I felt it. I felt alive. Blood pumping, heart racing ALIVE.
When we first met Sin and Boyd in Evenfall, they were avoiding the world with walls, cold masks, and numbness. Haunted by their pain, Sin and Boyd shut down until they connected with each other. They found someone to identify with, open up to, share, and awaken the emotions they locked away for so long. A desperate, obsession level relationship developed which was bound to blow up. Secrets, shame, and fear force a wedge between them that only gets worse with interruptions, miscommunication, and time away from each other. It all blows up in a brutal painful mess. But�.Sin and Boyd are alive. We have to be alive to feel the hurt. And for me, that is the key. Feeling.
Which leads me to my literary shock to the system. This is a first for me in my reading life.
I can’t wait to see where life takes Hsin, Boyd, and the whole Agency Gang next.
My RAGE Moment
Complaints
The Moment That Broke Me
Believe it or not—I am off for more�.
December 22, 2014
How do I even start to write a review. This book was extremely hard going right through to the end. I shouted, cried, gasped and was completely gobsmacked on more than a few occasions....but god was it worth it. I've fallen in love with this series and nothing could keep me from carrying on through to the bitter end. *crazy laugh*
Boyd and Hsin spend most of this book either apart from each other or arguing and it was tough to read at times. Hsin is simply broken and out on his own for the majority of this book. He's scared, hurting and frightened and Boyd, due to his own reasons, feels he can't be around Hsin.
It was only in the last few pages that there was a glimmer of hope for them both and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Thank you to my two buddies Giorgia and Steph and to the other friends who steered (manhandled) us through this minefield of a book. Moving straight on to
Boyd and Hsin spend most of this book either apart from each other or arguing and it was tough to read at times. Hsin is simply broken and out on his own for the majority of this book. He's scared, hurting and frightened and Boyd, due to his own reasons, feels he can't be around Hsin.
It was only in the last few pages that there was a glimmer of hope for them both and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Thank you to my two buddies Giorgia and Steph and to the other friends who steered (manhandled) us through this minefield of a book. Moving straight on to
Read
March 11, 2018 WARNING
With ICoS things are more complicated due to Ais' great work that should be acknowledged and preserved, so I've decided to scratch out all mentions of SH from them and to leave them standing, at least for the time being.
ORIGINAL REVIEW
The second instalment of Santino Hassell and Ais' In the Company of Shadows was a mindblowing, deeply brutal and ultimately hopeful experience (hopeful in the last two pages, though, so brace yourselves for quite a lot of serious angst!).
In its unedited version, is long, winding and complex - with so many crucial events and turns of allegiance that keeping track of them was really a daunting task.
The way the authors developed Sin, Boyd and the other characters in the book was surprising and brought to the surface a number of psychological and interpersonal issues that were only hinted at in . There are naturally some discrepancies in the plot continuity between the edited version of the first book and Afterimage but these don't prevent the reader from following the story and investing emotions into the characters' fate.
In particular, the transformation of Boyd from an emotionally stunted young man to a rather selfish and self-centred character was disturbing and frustrating through the majority of the book and Sin's descent into a full mental breakdown was a really nightmarish and genuinely saddening thing to observe.
The intrigues, secrets and obscure dealings of the Agency that uses its agents like so many puppets deciding freely about their life and death, continue to provide a tense and action-packed backdrop to the story and the plot twist at the end of the volume promises to provide even more excitement to the rest of the series.
The dystopian quality of the world built by Sonny and Ais is, again, fantastic - a semi-apocalyptic reality where it's the small touches (e.g. the absence of the Internet as a private commodity, the lack of fuel, the obsolete technology of mobile phones and computers etc.) rather than the more evident differences that really conjure up the ravages caused by the war. The combination of the old and the new, of sanitised interiors and seedy outdoors locales reminded me once again of the washed-out and grim Los Angeles portrayed in Blade Runner .
I'm now really excited to see what will happen in !
With ICoS things are more complicated due to Ais' great work that should be acknowledged and preserved, so I've decided to scratch out all mentions of SH from them and to leave them standing, at least for the time being.
ORIGINAL REVIEW
The second instalment of
In its unedited version, is long, winding and complex - with so many crucial events and turns of allegiance that keeping track of them was really a daunting task.
The way the authors developed Sin, Boyd and the other characters in the book was surprising and brought to the surface a number of psychological and interpersonal issues that were only hinted at in . There are naturally some discrepancies in the plot continuity between the edited version of the first book and Afterimage but these don't prevent the reader from following the story and investing emotions into the characters' fate.
In particular, the transformation of Boyd from an emotionally stunted young man to a rather selfish and self-centred character was disturbing and frustrating through the majority of the book and Sin's descent into a full mental breakdown was a really nightmarish and genuinely saddening thing to observe.
The intrigues, secrets and obscure dealings of the Agency that uses its agents like so many puppets deciding freely about their life and death, continue to provide a tense and action-packed backdrop to the story and the plot twist at the end of the volume promises to provide even more excitement to the rest of the series.
The dystopian quality of the world built by
I'm now really excited to see what will happen in !
September 10, 2016
4,5 stars
My status updates really say it all. There was so much anguish, and angst and pain - a LOT of it ALL, and I felt it acutely throughout.
I'm actually pretty sure that Afterimage wins the Oscar for the emotionally most excruciating scenes of all the books I've read this year so far. Moments like the following: (MASSIVE SPOILERS, please only read at own risk! ;) )
I'm sure I could list more but these kind of jumped to mind.
So what the heck is going on? After the action-filled events of Evenfall, 'real' life hits Boyd and Sin, namely the daily grind on the compound. And suddenly their relationship starts to show cracks, which get aggravated by Boyd's decision to go for level 10 training and Sin's health issues.
Boyd wants "to prove himself on his own, all on his own, not as someone with connections" and "to be recognized for his individual accomplishments and be defined simply as himself" Unfortunately he f***s up phenomenally in the procedure (Cristopher who I BR this with will have no doubt a lot to say about this! ;) and hurts Sin on various occasions.
Although Sin is on the receiving end of a lot of shit, not only by Boyd, but mentally and physically too, he also makes mistakes, most importantly
In this book the two men have to realize that their relationship is not only unhealthy, but downright dysfunctional, because they are "both just too unstable and desperate" While Sin has been making himself totally dependant on Boyd... I only cared about my life after he was in it. Why should I care now that he's not anymore?" , Boyd is distancing himself from the 'burden of dealing with Sin', being selfish and blind to his plight as a result. There is a lot both have to learn because essentially "they are two self-destructive people who hurt each other and themselves unintentionally"
And they have to work their way through the hell of "doubt and uncertainty, the guilt and regret, the frustration and sadness" which is inherent in their relationship. Please be aware that they spend (I reckon) about 70% of the book apart, but, thank God, there is this tiny ray of hope at the end, and the realization that they have to be whole themselves before they can have a healthy 'normal' relationship.
This is a brilliantly written book I could hardly put down. Of course we know that it is undergoing some editing and will be released all polished at a later date which I am looking forward to. If anything I'd like to point out that imo some scenes/chapters were too lengthy (Boyd's most varied training) or with too much detail (most notably for me the 'car buying scene') when it wasn't necessary.
The Sin and Boy saga continues, and I can't wait to see what happens next - I think the word 'epic' was created for stuff like this!
Highly recommended.
My status updates really say it all. There was so much anguish, and angst and pain - a LOT of it ALL, and I felt it acutely throughout.
I'm actually pretty sure that Afterimage wins the Oscar for the emotionally most excruciating scenes of all the books I've read this year so far. Moments like the following: (MASSIVE SPOILERS, please only read at own risk! ;) )
I'm sure I could list more but these kind of jumped to mind.
So what the heck is going on? After the action-filled events of Evenfall, 'real' life hits Boyd and Sin, namely the daily grind on the compound. And suddenly their relationship starts to show cracks, which get aggravated by Boyd's decision to go for level 10 training and Sin's health issues.
Boyd wants "to prove himself on his own, all on his own, not as someone with connections" and "to be recognized for his individual accomplishments and be defined simply as himself" Unfortunately he f***s up phenomenally in the procedure (Cristopher who I BR this with will have no doubt a lot to say about this! ;) and hurts Sin on various occasions.
Although Sin is on the receiving end of a lot of shit, not only by Boyd, but mentally and physically too, he also makes mistakes, most importantly
In this book the two men have to realize that their relationship is not only unhealthy, but downright dysfunctional, because they are "both just too unstable and desperate" While Sin has been making himself totally dependant on Boyd... I only cared about my life after he was in it. Why should I care now that he's not anymore?" , Boyd is distancing himself from the 'burden of dealing with Sin', being selfish and blind to his plight as a result. There is a lot both have to learn because essentially "they are two self-destructive people who hurt each other and themselves unintentionally"
And they have to work their way through the hell of "doubt and uncertainty, the guilt and regret, the frustration and sadness" which is inherent in their relationship. Please be aware that they spend (I reckon) about 70% of the book apart, but, thank God, there is this tiny ray of hope at the end, and the realization that they have to be whole themselves before they can have a healthy 'normal' relationship.
This is a brilliantly written book I could hardly put down. Of course we know that it is undergoing some editing and will be released all polished at a later date which I am looking forward to. If anything I'd like to point out that imo some scenes/chapters were too lengthy (Boyd's most varied training) or with too much detail (most notably for me the 'car buying scene') when it wasn't necessary.
The Sin and Boy saga continues, and I can't wait to see what happens next - I think the word 'epic' was created for stuff like this!
Highly recommended.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 18, 2021
2.5 rounded down on this one. It's all negative this time. Imma bout to rant...
Why this sucked:
1) BOYD is a moron and a selfish f*cker.
How can he NOT know what drives Sin? He did all this analysis and is supposed to be pretty smart and logical, and figured out Sin is not a mass murdering bad person, that he's capable of caring and vulnerability and even made more "right" decisions about people's lives than Boyd, but he doesn't realize when and why Sin reaches out to him for help???
Sin reached out soooo many times! But it was never "convenient" for Boyd. Cuz he was pursuing his career. Cuz he was hanging out with his new "friends." Cuz he was getting ready (and DID) bang Sin's worst enemy. AFTER shutting Sin down for "cheating" on him and giving Sin the whole lecture he does it himself! The only diff is that they "broke up" already. But his argument to Sin about cheating being wrong was not bc they were in a "relationship" and it's against relationship rules but bc Boyd "loves" Sin, therefore, if Sin loved him, Sin wouldn't have had (comforting) sex with Ann. And yet, Sin never told him he loved him (only SHOWED him through actions) and Sin's mind doesn't work that way. After Boyd told him, he cut off ALL connection with Ann at his own detriment bc she was his shrink! And yet Boyd has the GALL to have FANTASTIC sex with Kassian knowing Kassian is Sin's nemesis, knowing how Sin feels about him, he does this while STILL claiming to love Sin.
WTF????
I hate Boyd so much... OK, 1.5 starts rounded down.
Sin's conclusion on all this is correct: based on what Boyd has shown through his actions, by his own logic and his own words, Boyd never loved Sin. Therefore, why should Sin keep giving up everything, including his own LIFE, for Boyd???
Hate Boyd. I don't see how this character would ever redeem himself in my eyes. I'm hoping Sin falls and ends up with someone new. Someone worthy of him, but the covers are all of Boyd, so I guess that hope is slim.
2) The endless pages are still a sore spot for me. All this could have been conveyed in half the length. But more than that--a lot of the pages are internal dialogue within a character's head, mainly Boyd's, which I already mentioned hating. It's also lots of long-ass convos between the characters and I feel like those convos are out of character. Really? Assassins have convos about sex and relationships and psychology to that degree??? I would have much rather read it through interaction not dialogue.
3) predictable. KNEW Emilio is still alive. But at least he tells it like it is. He seemed like the least annoying person from a directness perspective in the end.
4) All the sex in this book is with OTHER ppl!! WHAT!
And it will continue to be with other ppl by the looks of it, bc Boyd is a "valentine." He extracts info with SEX. He could have rejected the promo he doesn't deserve, but he took it. So... HATE HIM SO MUCH.
But I will still read the last 2 books. The 1.5 stars is bc it's free and I can skip as much as I want.
Why this sucked:
1) BOYD is a moron and a selfish f*cker.
How can he NOT know what drives Sin? He did all this analysis and is supposed to be pretty smart and logical, and figured out Sin is not a mass murdering bad person, that he's capable of caring and vulnerability and even made more "right" decisions about people's lives than Boyd, but he doesn't realize when and why Sin reaches out to him for help???
Sin reached out soooo many times! But it was never "convenient" for Boyd. Cuz he was pursuing his career. Cuz he was hanging out with his new "friends." Cuz he was getting ready (and DID) bang Sin's worst enemy. AFTER shutting Sin down for "cheating" on him and giving Sin the whole lecture he does it himself! The only diff is that they "broke up" already. But his argument to Sin about cheating being wrong was not bc they were in a "relationship" and it's against relationship rules but bc Boyd "loves" Sin, therefore, if Sin loved him, Sin wouldn't have had (comforting) sex with Ann. And yet, Sin never told him he loved him (only SHOWED him through actions) and Sin's mind doesn't work that way. After Boyd told him, he cut off ALL connection with Ann at his own detriment bc she was his shrink! And yet Boyd has the GALL to have FANTASTIC sex with Kassian knowing Kassian is Sin's nemesis, knowing how Sin feels about him, he does this while STILL claiming to love Sin.
WTF????
I hate Boyd so much... OK, 1.5 starts rounded down.
Sin's conclusion on all this is correct: based on what Boyd has shown through his actions, by his own logic and his own words, Boyd never loved Sin. Therefore, why should Sin keep giving up everything, including his own LIFE, for Boyd???
Hate Boyd. I don't see how this character would ever redeem himself in my eyes. I'm hoping Sin falls and ends up with someone new. Someone worthy of him, but the covers are all of Boyd, so I guess that hope is slim.
2) The endless pages are still a sore spot for me. All this could have been conveyed in half the length. But more than that--a lot of the pages are internal dialogue within a character's head, mainly Boyd's, which I already mentioned hating. It's also lots of long-ass convos between the characters and I feel like those convos are out of character. Really? Assassins have convos about sex and relationships and psychology to that degree??? I would have much rather read it through interaction not dialogue.
3) predictable. KNEW Emilio is still alive. But at least he tells it like it is. He seemed like the least annoying person from a directness perspective in the end.
4) All the sex in this book is with OTHER ppl!! WHAT!
And it will continue to be with other ppl by the looks of it, bc Boyd is a "valentine." He extracts info with SEX. He could have rejected the promo he doesn't deserve, but he took it. So... HATE HIM SO MUCH.
But I will still read the last 2 books. The 1.5 stars is bc it's free and I can skip as much as I want.
January 5, 2013
Afterimage is the second book in the In the Company of Shadows series. In Evenfall we met Sin and Boyd and watched them defy prejudice, insecurity and loneliness to get together. In Afterimages, we are forced to watch them lose everything again.
Quite honestly: this shift of events was a shock for me in the beginning. And not necessarily because the story didn’t unfold the way I thought it would, but also because I couldn’t quite follow the -what I perceived as- sudden change in their thoughts and emotions. Where did all the problems come from? Why were the men so quick to judge? How come they overcame bigger problems in the past and now suddenly were incapable of even the simplest things?
Don’t get me wrong: the reasons for the boys� problems are warranted. Both have severe issues and both are emotionally in a mess and socially inept. And, as the story unfolds, the reasons why it can’t work out between Boyd and Sin become crystal clear. Still: I wish the shift could have been more gradually.
Other than that this book was gooood. A great plot with separate story lines that all come together in the end. Fast action, overarching (mystery) story lines, character development,... it was all intricately weaved together.
I loved how I slowly but surely got sucked in into the mess Boyd and Sin are making of their already difficult lives. I loved how the men could be both endearing and entirely frustrating.
I also loved the fact that I couldn't bring myself to hate certain secondaries. As destructive as their actions might be, all of them have redeeming qualities in one way or another and serve a catalyst function in not only bad ways, but also good.
Except for maybe the character that we got introduced to in the end. Utterly frustrating, unapologetic and selfish as hell, but a delight to read about.
I'm very curious to see what the future has in store for our boys. On to .
Quite honestly: this shift of events was a shock for me in the beginning. And not necessarily because the story didn’t unfold the way I thought it would, but also because I couldn’t quite follow the -what I perceived as- sudden change in their thoughts and emotions. Where did all the problems come from? Why were the men so quick to judge? How come they overcame bigger problems in the past and now suddenly were incapable of even the simplest things?
Don’t get me wrong: the reasons for the boys� problems are warranted. Both have severe issues and both are emotionally in a mess and socially inept. And, as the story unfolds, the reasons why it can’t work out between Boyd and Sin become crystal clear. Still: I wish the shift could have been more gradually.
Other than that this book was gooood. A great plot with separate story lines that all come together in the end. Fast action, overarching (mystery) story lines, character development,... it was all intricately weaved together.
I loved how I slowly but surely got sucked in into the mess Boyd and Sin are making of their already difficult lives. I loved how the men could be both endearing and entirely frustrating.
I also loved the fact that I couldn't bring myself to hate certain secondaries. As destructive as their actions might be, all of them have redeeming qualities in one way or another and serve a catalyst function in not only bad ways, but also good.
Except for maybe the character that we got introduced to in the end. Utterly frustrating, unapologetic and selfish as hell, but a delight to read about.
I'm very curious to see what the future has in store for our boys. On to .
May 6, 2011
Trainwreck.
In slow motion.
Not the book, the book is good. The relationship between Boyd and Sin. It's like watching Amy Winehouse or Charlie Sheen slowly self destruct, except you actually care. In this book, when I am going car shopping with Boyd and Kassian, instead of getting annoyed that I'm wasting time watching the MC doing something completely irrelevant, I am actually glad I am getting a breather from all the emo stuff. Let's go look at some more BMWs before we get back to the agonizing, shall we?
I haven't been tied in so many emotional knots since , I don't think. While ranting and raving at most of the characters at some point or other, I have to admit that no matter how much I just wanted the relationship between the MCs to be fluffy and happy already, it wasn't just that they were being willfully stupid and uncommunicative (a.k.a.emotionial pygmees) like in so many other books. How the relationship was slowly and painfully revealed as dysfunctional and codependent, made everything that happened to it make sense in the end, but unfortunately not any less torturous to watch.
OK, so the book is clunky here and there, and too long, and the amount of inner dialog reaches the ridiculous sometimes, but I am going to give it 5 stars for the exquisite torture the writers put me through.
And a heart felt thanks to Sarasaya and KateMc for the support and comic relief while reading this. Shall we move on to ? Which, by the way, had better have that warm and fuzzy ending that you promised, Kate!
In slow motion.
Not the book, the book is good. The relationship between Boyd and Sin. It's like watching Amy Winehouse or Charlie Sheen slowly self destruct, except you actually care. In this book, when I am going car shopping with Boyd and Kassian, instead of getting annoyed that I'm wasting time watching the MC doing something completely irrelevant, I am actually glad I am getting a breather from all the emo stuff. Let's go look at some more BMWs before we get back to the agonizing, shall we?
I haven't been tied in so many emotional knots since , I don't think. While ranting and raving at most of the characters at some point or other, I have to admit that no matter how much I just wanted the relationship between the MCs to be fluffy and happy already, it wasn't just that they were being willfully stupid and uncommunicative (a.k.a.emotionial pygmees) like in so many other books. How the relationship was slowly and painfully revealed as dysfunctional and codependent, made everything that happened to it make sense in the end, but unfortunately not any less torturous to watch.
OK, so the book is clunky here and there, and too long, and the amount of inner dialog reaches the ridiculous sometimes, but I am going to give it 5 stars for the exquisite torture the writers put me through.
And a heart felt thanks to Sarasaya and KateMc for the support and comic relief while reading this. Shall we move on to ? Which, by the way, had better have that warm and fuzzy ending that you promised, Kate!
May 16, 2012
Even better than the first. The writing got better, still a bit wordy and lots of inner dialog but nowhere near as bad as Evenfall. However, the plot did get stronger. Sin continues to steal my heart. What he goes through in this book is heart-breaking. The downward spiral of these two men and their relationship is never ending but somehow it all works.
One of the things that put me off was how quickly Boyd realizes how unstable and co-dependent their relationship is. I understand and accept the mistakes he made but the fact that he could distance himself from Sin and not flinch at his decision seems very unlike the Boyd we know from Evenfall. Don't get me wrong, I totally can see Boyd coming to this conclusion but I wish I saw a little more of his self-doubt and maybe a crack in his "let's be friends" attitude. I wish I felt more of his pain like I felt Sin's.
Their relationship also fell apart so suddenly. I wanted to see more of them together before it all went to hell.
Anyway, I love the dynamics of the story. There are still some unanswered questions but hopefully we'll get answers to those soon. We got to see Sin and Boyd as individuals as they both dealt with extreme and life altering situations. Great character and story development.
Next up, The Interludes!
One of the things that put me off was how quickly Boyd realizes how unstable and co-dependent their relationship is. I understand and accept the mistakes he made but the fact that he could distance himself from Sin and not flinch at his decision seems very unlike the Boyd we know from Evenfall. Don't get me wrong, I totally can see Boyd coming to this conclusion but I wish I saw a little more of his self-doubt and maybe a crack in his "let's be friends" attitude. I wish I felt more of his pain like I felt Sin's.
Their relationship also fell apart so suddenly. I wanted to see more of them together before it all went to hell.
Anyway, I love the dynamics of the story. There are still some unanswered questions but hopefully we'll get answers to those soon. We got to see Sin and Boyd as individuals as they both dealt with extreme and life altering situations. Great character and story development.
Next up, The Interludes!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 7, 2013
Ah, Afterimage. It reminds you of that feeling you had as a teenager, when life seemed meaningless and you thought everything would be better if you would just die already (or was that just me?). Uh, yeah...I guess what I'm saying is this book is pure torture.
We follow Sin as he's dealing with new symptoms of his psychological condition, and Boyd as he goes through a grueling three month training program in an attempt at independence. In the meantime, they are forced to take a closer look at their relationship and how it's truly affecting them as individuals.
The story goes on from there with one miscommunication after another. It could possibly be the most frustrating book I've ever read. As a lover of both Sin and Boyd, I found myself wanting to scream at them both. So fair warning: if you like emotionally torturous reads, go for it. If drowning in a tub of your own tears sounds awful, I'd advise against picking this up.
At this point, I'm completely trapped in the ICoS web, and there's no way I could stop now if I wanted to. And bonus, it's encouraged me to pick up some of the late nineties rock music that I had forgotten about after deciding that life was worth living...
We follow Sin as he's dealing with new symptoms of his psychological condition, and Boyd as he goes through a grueling three month training program in an attempt at independence. In the meantime, they are forced to take a closer look at their relationship and how it's truly affecting them as individuals.
The story goes on from there with one miscommunication after another. It could possibly be the most frustrating book I've ever read. As a lover of both Sin and Boyd, I found myself wanting to scream at them both. So fair warning: if you like emotionally torturous reads, go for it. If drowning in a tub of your own tears sounds awful, I'd advise against picking this up.
At this point, I'm completely trapped in the ICoS web, and there's no way I could stop now if I wanted to. And bonus, it's encouraged me to pick up some of the late nineties rock music that I had forgotten about after deciding that life was worth living...
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