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Infinite Playlists: How to Have Conversations (Not Conflict) with Your Kids About Music
With the easy availability and abundance of downloadable music and MP3 players, almost every teenager knows exactly how to find their favorite bands and songs online. Recent studies show that more than 50 percent of teens own their own iPod and even more search for music on iTunes. A world of influence is at their fingertips, so how and when should Christian parents monitor the music their children are listening to without creating undue conflict and argument? For author Todd Stocker, the day his son asked his preference between Van Halen and Def Leppard was the day he realized he and his son needed to have the "music talk." Infinite Playlists is a handy guide to healthy conversation between parents and kids. Writing as both father and music-lover, Stocker calls parents to recognize music as a gift from God so they can help their kids determine the emotional, physical, and spiritual influences of their song choices. He offers a balanced look at the difference between Christian and secular music, and gives practical guidelines parents and kids can follow to choose appropriate music―together. Competing titles may try to convince parents to hate or reject secular music or, alternately, convince them that Christian music is the only way to go. Infinite Playlists does neither, seeking first to provide parents with an understanding of God's purpose for music, then to provide biblical and respectful guidelines to aid responsible music choices. Ultimately, the goal is healthy conversation―not conflict―between parents and children so everyone can see and appreciate what music can teach us about life, about God, about others, about relationships, and about the world.
96 pages, Paperback
First published August 31, 2010
1 person is currently reading
25 people want to read
About the author
Todd Stocker
13Ìýbooks16ÌýfollowersBLOG: .
I am a writer, speaker and coach. I've had the opportunity to lead small to large organizations with rich history's of helping people grow personally and spiritually so that they can make a positive impact on the world. I am a published author and speaker and have leadership experience with such organizations as Hilton Corporation, US Airways, The Lutheran Church � Missouri Synod and American Express Corporation.
The purpose of my blog is to share my thoughts, experiences and learning’s in the areas of leadership, personal development and the journey of a Godly disciple. Occasionally, I’ll jot a few words outside of these topics but mainly focus on those three. My philosophy is that a great leader adds value to the people around them. Ultimately, as a life-long learner, I blog for me � but you’re welcome to read along.
My goal is to create insightful, relevant content that you can put to work in your personal and professional life. If you are in a position of leadership—or aspire to be—then this blog is for you.
I am a writer, speaker and coach. I've had the opportunity to lead small to large organizations with rich history's of helping people grow personally and spiritually so that they can make a positive impact on the world. I am a published author and speaker and have leadership experience with such organizations as Hilton Corporation, US Airways, The Lutheran Church � Missouri Synod and American Express Corporation.
The purpose of my blog is to share my thoughts, experiences and learning’s in the areas of leadership, personal development and the journey of a Godly disciple. Occasionally, I’ll jot a few words outside of these topics but mainly focus on those three. My philosophy is that a great leader adds value to the people around them. Ultimately, as a life-long learner, I blog for me � but you’re welcome to read along.
My goal is to create insightful, relevant content that you can put to work in your personal and professional life. If you are in a position of leadership—or aspire to be—then this blog is for you.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
February 19, 2017
In our day, few matters divide generations more readily than music. Each age group has its own musical preferences which the others don't get, and often can't appreciate. For Christians, this problem is even more pronounced. The Christian's submission to Scripture leads inevitably to ethical questions surrounding various elements of modern culture, especially music. This is complicated by the tendency of some Christians to denigrate certain music styles as intrinsically evil.
When it comes to parenting, and dealing with teenagers in particular, it would be easy to ignore the issue of music altogether. Many Christian parents just suffer with whatever music choices their children make, even if they offer an occasional frown. Not a few parents take the opposite approach, and operate like the musical police. This can raise barriers between parent and child, fostering bitterness and resentment. For most of us, we're not exactly sure how to handle the thorny topic of music.
This is why I was intrigued by the title of a new book from Kregel Publications by Todd Stocker (with notes from his son Nathan): . The title gets right to the point, and when you open the front cover Stoker wastes no time in confronting the issue head on. In fact, the book is only a short 89 pages, but for many parents and teens today, a shorter book may have a better chance at being picked up and read. Whatever the case, even in these few short pages the book more than adequately covers the problem at hand.
Todd Stocker starts out by describing his love for music and how his Christian faith made him reevaluate his musical choices. His son Nathan's affinity for hard rock brought him to the place where he had to start working through what music he'd allow his children to tune in to. The book moves on to describe music as a gift from God, but a gift that has been distorted by fallen man. There is a spiritual battle going on over music, and recognizing music's ability to capture our souls with wonder should help us approach the topic soberly. Make no mistake, however, Stoker is not about a kill joy approach to music. "God never intended Christians to live cloistered." (pg. 25)
Stocker goes on to trace the emotional, physical and spiritual impact of music, often quoting secular experts and personal experiences to add flavor. He explores various musical genres, and the question of Christian vs. secular music. He understands that the attitude and ethos created by the song conveys some meaning, but ultimately the lyrics make the predominant difference. Yet "God is not in one thing and not in the other", and so even secular music can be redeemed for His purposes.
The meat of the book comes in his discussion of the working guidelines he's come up with for his family. They are:
What do the lyrics say?
What picture does the song paint?
What is the mood or feel of the song?
Will the song cause others to stumble?
Who is the artist or group?
Stocker is careful to convey that a firm, hard line is not easy to achieve. He prefers to discuss these questions with his son Nathan, and together agree on the verdict. Ultimately he has parental veto power, however. Including the children in the decision both empowers them and teaches them how to exercise discernment for themselves.
Stocker finishes the book by encouraging Christians everywhere to take the copyright laws seriously when it comes to music.
Some additional helpful features of the book include the chapter recaps, notes by 13 year old Nathan Stocker sharing his perspective on music at various points in the book, and a chapter exercise for working through the five guidelines and applying them with an actual song. The book also includes some helpful resources in the end-notes.
Before I close this review, I would want to encourage parents to pick up this book and use it as a tool in developing their own approach to how to parent their children when it comes to the arena of music. Stocker's exhortation is worth quoting here at some length:
I can't recommend this book more. It could perhaps have included a bit more material, but that's the only complaint I'd have. It reads very easy, and manages to tackle a difficult topic with grace. It is immensely helpful, and definitely worth picking up a copy.
Disclaimer: This book was provided by Kregel Publications for review, as part of the Library Thing Early Reviewers program. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.
This review and many others are available at CrossFocusedReviews.com where you can find book excerpts, giveaways, promotional offers, audio reviews and more.
When it comes to parenting, and dealing with teenagers in particular, it would be easy to ignore the issue of music altogether. Many Christian parents just suffer with whatever music choices their children make, even if they offer an occasional frown. Not a few parents take the opposite approach, and operate like the musical police. This can raise barriers between parent and child, fostering bitterness and resentment. For most of us, we're not exactly sure how to handle the thorny topic of music.
This is why I was intrigued by the title of a new book from Kregel Publications by Todd Stocker (with notes from his son Nathan): . The title gets right to the point, and when you open the front cover Stoker wastes no time in confronting the issue head on. In fact, the book is only a short 89 pages, but for many parents and teens today, a shorter book may have a better chance at being picked up and read. Whatever the case, even in these few short pages the book more than adequately covers the problem at hand.
Todd Stocker starts out by describing his love for music and how his Christian faith made him reevaluate his musical choices. His son Nathan's affinity for hard rock brought him to the place where he had to start working through what music he'd allow his children to tune in to. The book moves on to describe music as a gift from God, but a gift that has been distorted by fallen man. There is a spiritual battle going on over music, and recognizing music's ability to capture our souls with wonder should help us approach the topic soberly. Make no mistake, however, Stoker is not about a kill joy approach to music. "God never intended Christians to live cloistered." (pg. 25)
Stocker goes on to trace the emotional, physical and spiritual impact of music, often quoting secular experts and personal experiences to add flavor. He explores various musical genres, and the question of Christian vs. secular music. He understands that the attitude and ethos created by the song conveys some meaning, but ultimately the lyrics make the predominant difference. Yet "God is not in one thing and not in the other", and so even secular music can be redeemed for His purposes.
The meat of the book comes in his discussion of the working guidelines he's come up with for his family. They are:
What do the lyrics say?
What picture does the song paint?
What is the mood or feel of the song?
Will the song cause others to stumble?
Who is the artist or group?
Stocker is careful to convey that a firm, hard line is not easy to achieve. He prefers to discuss these questions with his son Nathan, and together agree on the verdict. Ultimately he has parental veto power, however. Including the children in the decision both empowers them and teaches them how to exercise discernment for themselves.
Stocker finishes the book by encouraging Christians everywhere to take the copyright laws seriously when it comes to music.
Some additional helpful features of the book include the chapter recaps, notes by 13 year old Nathan Stocker sharing his perspective on music at various points in the book, and a chapter exercise for working through the five guidelines and applying them with an actual song. The book also includes some helpful resources in the end-notes.
Before I close this review, I would want to encourage parents to pick up this book and use it as a tool in developing their own approach to how to parent their children when it comes to the arena of music. Stocker's exhortation is worth quoting here at some length:
God has placed great importance and responsibility on your parental position within the family. Therefore, it is not OK to allow your children to listen to lyrics that could poison their souls. Think of it this way: you would never allow your children to drink gasoline even if it was their choice to do so. Neither should you let your children drink music that could cripple them forever. (pg. 58)
I can't recommend this book more. It could perhaps have included a bit more material, but that's the only complaint I'd have. It reads very easy, and manages to tackle a difficult topic with grace. It is immensely helpful, and definitely worth picking up a copy.
Disclaimer: This book was provided by Kregel Publications for review, as part of the Library Thing Early Reviewers program. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.
This review and many others are available at CrossFocusedReviews.com where you can find book excerpts, giveaways, promotional offers, audio reviews and more.
October 1, 2010
I was glad to win a copy of this book from Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ, to have a chance to read and review it. As both a Christian, a musician, and a parent, I was skeptical about the subject matter. I read it with a critical eye, and while I was able to pick out several things that I personally disagree with, it was alright overall. It wasn't tremendously well-written, but it was also incredibly short, and an easy read. It seems that it is meant to be a starting point for a parent who is feeling lost about the subject of music as it pertains to their child. It does give helpful tips for dealing with such things. It's certainly not a timeless piece of literature, but it isn't meant to be one. It (generally) doesn't preach, or claim that what works best for the author will work best for everyone, but rather shares the rules and guidelines that were established for the author's family as an example of what worked for them.
January 19, 2011
A dad who loves music and grew up on the rock songs of the 1980s and a pastor, Stocker teamed with his teen son on conversations about the music influencing teens now. Instead of condemnation, he has guidelines for parents to talk to their teens about what music is healthy and acceptable for a Christian. This book is more than traditional worship music vs. contemporary, but practical questions and discussions to open the conversation instead of closing discussion on contemporary secular music.
Stocker talks about how music is a gift of God, the effects of it, understanding genres, guidelines for discussion, and even legal issues for Christians. His music student son adds a valuable teen insight. Highly recommended for Christian parents of teens.
Published in Church Libraries Winter 2010-11
By Crystal Laine Miller
Used with permission
Kregel, $9.99
Stocker talks about how music is a gift of God, the effects of it, understanding genres, guidelines for discussion, and even legal issues for Christians. His music student son adds a valuable teen insight. Highly recommended for Christian parents of teens.
Published in Church Libraries Winter 2010-11
By Crystal Laine Miller
Used with permission
Kregel, $9.99
October 25, 2010
I thought this book was well researched. I appreciated that it was informative, not preachy. The recap of main points at the end of each chapter was helpful. I also thought the youth input from his son was important to make the adult - child connections. My favorite message that I learned was that music is power - especially emotionally - I am going to look further into the possibility of it helping to boost metabolism. I recommend this book to parents and students as a resource for their music selections and why they are important.
October 31, 2010
I won this book on LT and I do not have kids or listen to Christian music. It had some good information in it and I had a hard time trying to read thru some of the book and it was slamming music that I like. Once again, I do not have kids and could not relate to this book very much. I think if you try to control too much of a kids music, that will only push them to listen to it behind your back and they will listen to it away from the home.
March 8, 2011
This book is great for parents who have a hard time conversing with their children. It uses music as a conversation starter to help parents talk more openly with their children. I have passed it along to a friend who is having a difficult time with one of her children and she has been excited about the progress the ideas in the book have helped her to make.
November 1, 2010
This was a reasonable and moderate effort to talk to Christian parents about how to talk to their children about modern music. The guidelines that the author and his son came up to measure mainstream songs seems reasonable, and the way that they present the guidelines (as flexible, and adaptable to particular situations) were clear.
October 15, 2010
There is a lot of good information on effective communication with your children, especially through music. If you are having problems connecting, this book will be a good source of information for you.
November 22, 2010
I liked this book. It was more than just sitting down and talking to your kids about music. This book encourages parents to get the flow of communication going and a way through music to keep it going.
A short quick read that could change the way parents talk to their children.
A short quick read that could change the way parents talk to their children.
October 7, 2010
Very insightful book. It gave great information and ideas on how to help teens make good choices in the music they listen to. Good ideas on communication.
Currently reading
October 17, 2010This is a very helpful book. I will pass it on to my sister and her friends who have teenage children. Excellent read.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
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