What do you think?
Rate this book
The Joy of Gay Sex
For a new century and a new generation of readers comes a fully revised and expanded edition of a classic guide to gay sex, love, and life.ÌýFeaturing 50 new illustrations.
One of the touchstones of the emerging gay consciousness when it was first published in the '70s, and a standard reference for gay men throughout the '80s and '90s, The Joy of Gay Sex has informed countless men about the ins and outs of gay life, love, and pleasure. A full decade has now passed since the last update, and while the gay community has seen improved treatments for AIDS, more positive media coverage, new forums for the expression of community, and more favorable laws, there continues to be an urgent need for this book’s brand of positive and responsible advice.
Invaluable not only as a sex guide but as a resource on building self-esteem, and a coming out guide for young gay men, The Joy of Gay Sex addresses the many emotional and relationship-oriented issues in gay life, from long-term couples and one-night stands, to loneliness and growing older. It also serves as a general reference on a number of diverse topics, including living wills and insurance.
One of the touchstones of the emerging gay consciousness when it was first published in the '70s, and a standard reference for gay men throughout the '80s and '90s, The Joy of Gay Sex has informed countless men about the ins and outs of gay life, love, and pleasure. A full decade has now passed since the last update, and while the gay community has seen improved treatments for AIDS, more positive media coverage, new forums for the expression of community, and more favorable laws, there continues to be an urgent need for this book’s brand of positive and responsible advice.
Invaluable not only as a sex guide but as a resource on building self-esteem, and a coming out guide for young gay men, The Joy of Gay Sex addresses the many emotional and relationship-oriented issues in gay life, from long-term couples and one-night stands, to loneliness and growing older. It also serves as a general reference on a number of diverse topics, including living wills and insurance.
360 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1977
206 people are currently reading
1242 people want to read
About the author
Charles Silverstein
24Ìýbooks13ÌýfollowersCharles Silverstein (born 1935) is an American writer, therapist, and gay activist.
Silverstein is a frequent lecturer at conventions on both the state and national levels, author of eight books and many professional papers, and has received many awards from the American Psychological Association and the American Psychological Foundation e.g. Gold Medal Award for Life Achievement in the Practice of Psychology receiving it "for his 40-year career challenging the criteria of social morality as the basis for diagnosing sexual disorders. For his presentation before the American Psychiatric Association to eliminate homosexuality as a mental disorder. For his founding two counseling centers for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people in order to deliver unbiased treatment, and for his founding of the Journal of Homosexuality."
Silverstein is a frequent lecturer at conventions on both the state and national levels, author of eight books and many professional papers, and has received many awards from the American Psychological Association and the American Psychological Foundation e.g. Gold Medal Award for Life Achievement in the Practice of Psychology receiving it "for his 40-year career challenging the criteria of social morality as the basis for diagnosing sexual disorders. For his presentation before the American Psychiatric Association to eliminate homosexuality as a mental disorder. For his founding two counseling centers for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people in order to deliver unbiased treatment, and for his founding of the Journal of Homosexuality."
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
December 25, 2018
As a straight female, I found this book about male gay life, sex and relationships very informative. It has a positive attitude towards a healthy sexuality, stresses the dangers of unsafe sex and also focuses on a lot of emotional aspects of male/male relationships, the positive and rewarding, but also negative and abusive cases.
I recommend it not only to gay men, but to everyone who is openminded enough to want to learn about other lifestyles, whether they will ever affect them or not.
I recommend it not only to gay men, but to everyone who is openminded enough to want to learn about other lifestyles, whether they will ever affect them or not.
March 4, 2015
How happy I am to have finished reading this book!
List of this book's topics:
Anus 1, Barebacking 1, Bars 3, Baths 4, Bears 5, Bisexuality 8, Blow Job 10, Body Decoration 12, Body Fluids and Disease 14, Body Image 15, Bondage and Discipline 17, Booze and Highs 19, Bottom 22, Bottoms Up 24, Buns 26, Camping 27, Celibacy 29, Chat Rooms 30, Civil Rights 31, Clubs 34, Cock Size 36, Coming Out 38, Compulsive Sex 42, Condoms 45, Cosmetic (Plastic) Surgery 48, Couples 50, Cruising 55, Daddy/Son Fantasies 58, Dangerous Sex 60, Depression 62, Dirty Talk 65, Domestic Partnerships 67, Domestic Violence 68, Drug Abuse 69, Drugs and Sex 75, Early Abuse 77, Effeminacy 78, Etiquette 79, Exhibitionism and Voyeurism 81, Face-to-Face 82, Feet 85, Fetish 86, Fidelity and Monogamy 88, Finding a Physician 90, First Time 91, Fisting 95, Foreskin 98, Friendship 100, Frottage 101, Fuck Buddies 103, Gay Families 105, Gay Liberation 107, Gay Politics 111, Growing Older 113, Guilt 117, Gyms 118, Hair 120, Hands 121, HIV Disease 122, Homophobia 130, Hustlers 132, Impotence 134, Insurance 137, Jealousy, Envy, and Possessiveness 140, J.O. Buddies 142, J.O. Clubs 142, J.O. Machines 144, Kinky Sex 145, Kissing 147, Letting Go 149, Licking 151, Living Wills 152, Loneliness 153, Lubricants 154, Male Sexual Response 155, Married Men 160, Massage 163, Masturbation and Fantasy 166, Mirrors 170, Mixed HIV Couples 171, Mutual Masturbation 174, Mythic Beginnings 176, Nibbling and Biting 178, Nipples 180, Noisemaking 181, On-line Cruising 182, Open Relationships 185, Out on the Job 186, Parents 190, Phone Sex 193, Pleasure Trap 197, Pornography 198, Problems of Ejaculation 199, Profiles 202, Promiscuity 204, Racism 205, Rape 206, Rear Entry 208, Rejection 210, Relaxation 211, Rimming and Felching 212, Role Playing 214, Sadomasochism 215, Safe Sex 218, Saying No 223, Scat 223, Seduction 224, Sex Ads 225, Sex Clubs 227, Sex Parties 228, Sex Phobia (or Puritanism) 233, Sex Toys 235, Sexual Harassment 238, Sexually Transmitted Diseases 242, Sex with Animals 250, Sex with Straight Men 252, Shaving 253, Side by Side 256, Sit on My Face 256, Sitting on It 260, Sixty-Nining 264, Sleazy Sex 265, Spanking 266, Spirituality 268, Suicide 269, Tearooms and Back Rooms 271, Teenagers 273, Tenderness 278, Three-Ways 279, Top 282, Touching and Holding 284, Trade 287, Transgender 288, Travel 292, Tricking 294, Types 296, Uniforms 297, Vanilla Sex 300, Versatility 301, Water Sports 302, Webcams 304, Web Site 306, Wills 307, Wrestling 310.
---------------
It's not that it's a bad book, but the authors should be sued for misrepresentation (just a joke) so this book's title is far from its actual content.
If you read the list of topics above, you will see that at least half of them concerns more problems related to being gay than the joy of it. And for the rest, everything, I mean everything is stained by difficulties of all kinds that homosexuality can bring in your life. So, in summary, at least two-thirds of the book are about the difficulties of homosexuality from the moment you come out of the closet until you die of old age or illness.
Whenever the authors really talk about "the joys of gay sex," they remind us of the risks we face to be what we are and to do what we want or like.
Do you know that we share about 80,000,000 bacteria and/or viruses each time we French kiss? We can catch STDs even by giving a blow job or by rubbing against our lovers if they are not absolutely healthy. Sickening! Listening to the recommendations of this book, we'd be better to have sex this way:
No, he's not entirely safe; his arms are outside the condom.
And this:
Not a good idea either. To get drunk or drugged before going home with a stranger can lead to barebacking and disease.
So it was a real challenge to finish reading this book.
However, I learned some interesting things, like the beginning of the gay revolution against "normal" people's prejudices and injustice of the laws.
But I think reading this book would be good for young adults about to come out who has everything to learn. It could help to prevent them from unnecessary risks and allow them to still discover the joy of gay sex.
By the way, there is a lot of nice drawings in it. Here is one of the less hot (because I couldn't put here pictures showing genitals):
So I give four stars to this book.
See other reviews here:
List of this book's topics:
Anus 1, Barebacking 1, Bars 3, Baths 4, Bears 5, Bisexuality 8, Blow Job 10, Body Decoration 12, Body Fluids and Disease 14, Body Image 15, Bondage and Discipline 17, Booze and Highs 19, Bottom 22, Bottoms Up 24, Buns 26, Camping 27, Celibacy 29, Chat Rooms 30, Civil Rights 31, Clubs 34, Cock Size 36, Coming Out 38, Compulsive Sex 42, Condoms 45, Cosmetic (Plastic) Surgery 48, Couples 50, Cruising 55, Daddy/Son Fantasies 58, Dangerous Sex 60, Depression 62, Dirty Talk 65, Domestic Partnerships 67, Domestic Violence 68, Drug Abuse 69, Drugs and Sex 75, Early Abuse 77, Effeminacy 78, Etiquette 79, Exhibitionism and Voyeurism 81, Face-to-Face 82, Feet 85, Fetish 86, Fidelity and Monogamy 88, Finding a Physician 90, First Time 91, Fisting 95, Foreskin 98, Friendship 100, Frottage 101, Fuck Buddies 103, Gay Families 105, Gay Liberation 107, Gay Politics 111, Growing Older 113, Guilt 117, Gyms 118, Hair 120, Hands 121, HIV Disease 122, Homophobia 130, Hustlers 132, Impotence 134, Insurance 137, Jealousy, Envy, and Possessiveness 140, J.O. Buddies 142, J.O. Clubs 142, J.O. Machines 144, Kinky Sex 145, Kissing 147, Letting Go 149, Licking 151, Living Wills 152, Loneliness 153, Lubricants 154, Male Sexual Response 155, Married Men 160, Massage 163, Masturbation and Fantasy 166, Mirrors 170, Mixed HIV Couples 171, Mutual Masturbation 174, Mythic Beginnings 176, Nibbling and Biting 178, Nipples 180, Noisemaking 181, On-line Cruising 182, Open Relationships 185, Out on the Job 186, Parents 190, Phone Sex 193, Pleasure Trap 197, Pornography 198, Problems of Ejaculation 199, Profiles 202, Promiscuity 204, Racism 205, Rape 206, Rear Entry 208, Rejection 210, Relaxation 211, Rimming and Felching 212, Role Playing 214, Sadomasochism 215, Safe Sex 218, Saying No 223, Scat 223, Seduction 224, Sex Ads 225, Sex Clubs 227, Sex Parties 228, Sex Phobia (or Puritanism) 233, Sex Toys 235, Sexual Harassment 238, Sexually Transmitted Diseases 242, Sex with Animals 250, Sex with Straight Men 252, Shaving 253, Side by Side 256, Sit on My Face 256, Sitting on It 260, Sixty-Nining 264, Sleazy Sex 265, Spanking 266, Spirituality 268, Suicide 269, Tearooms and Back Rooms 271, Teenagers 273, Tenderness 278, Three-Ways 279, Top 282, Touching and Holding 284, Trade 287, Transgender 288, Travel 292, Tricking 294, Types 296, Uniforms 297, Vanilla Sex 300, Versatility 301, Water Sports 302, Webcams 304, Web Site 306, Wills 307, Wrestling 310.
---------------
It's not that it's a bad book, but the authors should be sued for misrepresentation (just a joke) so this book's title is far from its actual content.
If you read the list of topics above, you will see that at least half of them concerns more problems related to being gay than the joy of it. And for the rest, everything, I mean everything is stained by difficulties of all kinds that homosexuality can bring in your life. So, in summary, at least two-thirds of the book are about the difficulties of homosexuality from the moment you come out of the closet until you die of old age or illness.
Whenever the authors really talk about "the joys of gay sex," they remind us of the risks we face to be what we are and to do what we want or like.
Do you know that we share about 80,000,000 bacteria and/or viruses each time we French kiss? We can catch STDs even by giving a blow job or by rubbing against our lovers if they are not absolutely healthy. Sickening! Listening to the recommendations of this book, we'd be better to have sex this way:
No, he's not entirely safe; his arms are outside the condom.
And this:
Not a good idea either. To get drunk or drugged before going home with a stranger can lead to barebacking and disease.
So it was a real challenge to finish reading this book.
However, I learned some interesting things, like the beginning of the gay revolution against "normal" people's prejudices and injustice of the laws.
But I think reading this book would be good for young adults about to come out who has everything to learn. It could help to prevent them from unnecessary risks and allow them to still discover the joy of gay sex.
By the way, there is a lot of nice drawings in it. Here is one of the less hot (because I couldn't put here pictures showing genitals):
So I give four stars to this book.
See other reviews here:
June 13, 2007
It's not just a sex manual/dictionary/reference. (Of course, who needs a sex manual?) There are interesting tidbits of gay sex throughout history.
August 18, 2017
This book is very insightful and provides a highly level headed treatment of this interesting subject. It's very sex positive even by today's standards :) I really liked the emphasis on evidence based statements. The majority of these are valid and useful today just as in 1977; it was sometimes disheartening to read about the disparity in living standards and affluence in the Western world as compared to the rest of the planet even back then. Additionally it has several very erotique and porno-graphique drawings featuring conventionally attractive Caucasian men we are conditioned to like, and the not so attractive types paired together.
January 17, 2014
I got this as a handy reference guide for my MM romances. Some things read quite dated, but others are very handy and useful when trying to deal with the emotional and physical aspects of a gay relationship. Very informative and a wealth of information vital to my character development.
October 28, 2007
MUST HAVE BOOK for ALL GAY MEN
Read
January 14, 2020Another Jacob recommendation, did not finish. But if it’s your thing, that’s totally cool!
Read
September 9, 2008This book is on the bibliography of books challenged, restricted, removed or banned in 2007-2008 put out by Robert P. Doyle and the American Library Association. More info at
March 13, 2009
A surprisingly frank, direct, and helpful book. The mechanics and how-to's of gay sex are not generally offered by mainstream culture, but this book is dead on.
January 2, 2011
Phenomenal! Everything one needs to know about anything (and everything) related to gay sex.
April 2, 2012
This would have been useful in eighth or ninth grade. Not so useful as an adult.
September 27, 2012
Every gay man should have this in their collection... Wealth of information from stds, bear code, and much more.
January 11, 2013
I read this book shortly after coming out. A must read for every gay man!!
Want to read
November 18, 2014Hmm....just bought this for my kindle as it's 99 cents on Amazon right now..
March 7, 2016
Public library challenged-Retained (1993)
Public library challenged--retained (2008)
Public library challenged--retained (2008)
January 26, 2025
I picked this up out of curiosity, knowing mostly that this was sort of a classic, and nothing prepared me for how demented this book actually is. Well, maybe more outdated, but there are one or two bits that strike me as particularly insane. Let's dive in:
- This third edition was last changed in 2006, almost 20 years ago from the time of this writing. there is no mention of dating apps, PreP, chemsex, etc. But there are mentions of phone sex, chat rooms, and a very strange choice on the part of the authors to refer to other guys or hookups as "tricks". This book isn't current at all, and is basically frozen in amber.
- There are some Choices as to what the authors support and condemn: some allowance has to be given considering their age and when they grew up, and for the AIDS epidemic, but as I mentioned above, we've had twenty years of PreP and AIDS education, and constantly declining new HIV infections. So, it's overly harsh of the authors to tut-tut guys for having bareback sex (yes, it still has risks, but!), but saying that "sex with animals shouldn't be illegal". WHAT.
- Another problem is the level of depth to which this book explores topics, which save for few areas such as the male sexual response, could be described as "none". Most things get a surface level exploration.
There is one nice thing I'll say about the book, and that's that some of the pictures are pretty hot. having said that, this is very much legacy work. But it's also legacy work that's unbelievably dated, and Harper-Collins should be embarrassed to have this in print right now, frankly. it either needs a massive update and overhaul, or to be quietly retired.
- This third edition was last changed in 2006, almost 20 years ago from the time of this writing. there is no mention of dating apps, PreP, chemsex, etc. But there are mentions of phone sex, chat rooms, and a very strange choice on the part of the authors to refer to other guys or hookups as "tricks". This book isn't current at all, and is basically frozen in amber.
- There are some Choices as to what the authors support and condemn: some allowance has to be given considering their age and when they grew up, and for the AIDS epidemic, but as I mentioned above, we've had twenty years of PreP and AIDS education, and constantly declining new HIV infections. So, it's overly harsh of the authors to tut-tut guys for having bareback sex (yes, it still has risks, but!), but saying that "sex with animals shouldn't be illegal". WHAT.
- Another problem is the level of depth to which this book explores topics, which save for few areas such as the male sexual response, could be described as "none". Most things get a surface level exploration.
There is one nice thing I'll say about the book, and that's that some of the pictures are pretty hot. having said that, this is very much legacy work. But it's also legacy work that's unbelievably dated, and Harper-Collins should be embarrassed to have this in print right now, frankly. it either needs a massive update and overhaul, or to be quietly retired.
March 16, 2025
straightforward, prosaic
found via appendix in the ethical slut
kind of a historical artifact almost, some interesting nuances of gay culture preserved in it so i overall enjoyed it, its split up like an encyclopedia so easy to search for specific terms or just read through them like little chapters, learned a few new sex tips on the way. i especially enjoyed the forward giving a storyline of this books journey through censorship in different country’s publishing during the 80s-90s, and the struggle to even get this out for anyone to read
- French customs seized and shredded them. Thousands of copies of the American edition were also imported into Britain, where they were seized by Her Majesty’s Customs and burned.
- The book had a particularly hard time in Canada, where local police and governmental customs tried to suppress it. In Winnipeg in 1980, for instance, a newspaper reported that a woman rushed into a bookstore looking for a copy of The Joy of Cooking. She picked up The Joy of Gay Sex by mistake, or so she claimed. When she got home, she opened the book (to F, in order to make a fricassee?) and was profoundly embarrassed by what she saw. She called the police, who, upon her complaint, raided the store and confiscated all copies of the book. The police had trumped up the whole affair.
- Ironically, it was the case of a heterosexual man that resulted in the overturning British customs laws against pornography. Around 1987, he bought a mail-order life size, inflatable female sex doll. Customs confiscated it. The man turned to the European High Court to rule on the dispute. Since Great Britain was joining the European Common Market, it was ordered to apply the same liberal standards for importation as the rest of Europe. The straight man got his fuckable doll back, and it meant the end to the censorship of gay materials.
- Some HIV-infected gay men preferred a Pollyanna-type physician who might say, “Don’t worry, everything is going to be fine,� while a different gay man preferred the direct approach: “Sorry son, you’re going to die soon.� No matter what anyone said, they all died anyway.
- Ignore the entreaties of a man who says, “You can fuck me without a condom,� especially since you can be sure that he said the same thing to the man who fucked him last night, and the night before, and…�
- Bear culture simply allows some otherwise isolated and under appreciated gay men to relate to other gays with whom they feel most comfortable, providing greater diversity in our population, and with the added benefit of fighting straight stereotypes, both from within and outside the gay community.
- For instance, one expert places needles in the body of his partner, then connects them with kite string to form a frame above the body. Combining piercing with bondage, he then “plays the instrument,� plucking the strings to create pain in different parts of the body.
- Some men like the sweet agony of being tied up and then subjected to a long blow job to which they can respond only with groans; or to having their body licked and caressed until they’re mad with pleasure; or to being fucked in the mouth or in the ass while they writhe, unable to do anything to stop the action.
- The famous Mineshaft in New York City used to hold its Bondage Club’s meetings on Sunday afternoons, and it wasn’t surprising to walk in on a half dozen young men tied up in heavy hemp rope in all sorts of positions, and to have a lecturer in full British Admiralty dress explaining the intricacies of the nineteenth-century English marine knots being used, a lecture that—save for the naked, writhing bodies—might be held in any museum, with precise terminology, wooden pointer, and avid listeners.
- It prevents gay men from becoming too pompous or serious in discussing their problems. One example of camp dialogue supposedly overheard during a police raid on “the trucks,� a pre-liberation sexual gathering area in Greenwich Village: “Run, Mary! It’s the cops!� To which someone else responds, “Please, no names!� At its best camp can be rebellious, elusive, Dada, an anarchic force in gay life.
- Camp seeks to disarm its enemies by identifying with the oppressors. If straight society accuses us of being women, we’ll turn the accusation into a compliment. In fact, we will show them we’re more outrageously feminine than they imagined. As blacks tease each other by calling themselves ***, thereby defusing the insult hurled by whites, so gay men make a virtue out of the vice attributed to them.
- Condoms (and dildos) first appeared in England by 1660, supposedly brought over from Italy, and were in wide use by the eighteenth century, when sexually transmitted diseases had become rampant in Europe.
- It’s not unusual for the participants, particularly the son, to experience a rush of emotion after orgasm. Cradled by his daddy, the son may cry at the warmth and compassion he’s experiencing, warmth he probably never experienced from his biological father.
- Talking dirty can also enhance your solo sex. Most men jerk off to videos, but a few talk out loud to the characters on screen. Try this: If you identify with one of the characters, say what he’s feeling toward the guy he’s fucking—or to the man sucking his cock…say gentle words if that’s what you’re feeling, or be powerful and controlling if that’s your mood.
- Talk about his orgasm. Talk about how strong it was, or comment on how thick his come is, or anything that makes him feel sexy and powerful. Obviously, this exercise has a lot of variations. Try them all.
- He may prefer his right foot hooked over your shoulder, his left foot below, wrapped around your back; this position gives more flexibility, and it places his asshole at a slightly different angle in relation to your cock, which may ease entry.
- Both straight and gay teenagers know the intimacy and ardor of friendship, but all too many straights “grow out of� those fierce involvements and pour all their emotional energies into their husband or wife and children.
- Sometimes frottage is called belly-fucking, or more pejoratively, the Princeton rub. One lubricates one’s partner’s stomach or one’s own cock, climbs on top, and pumps away.
- One of the real tragedies of the AIDS epidemic was that entire gay families were wiped out, or most of a gay family. A gay man who may have existed for years within his carefully cultivated environment of love was suddenly isolated and without the support network he’d relied on, at exactly the time he mostly needed it.
- Often there was dating across generations, so that twenty-year-olds dated thirty-year-olds, some of whom dated forty-year-olds, some of whom dated sixty year olds. In the past, the gay community gained considerable strength from all of its generations working together.
- In fact, gyms have become to our time what bars and clubs were in previous decades: a basic, central location where gay men can meet and socialize. While gyms aren’t necessarily sexual hangouts, they certainly can be, especially in showers, steam rooms, and saunas.
- If you were really honest with yourself, you’d admit you’re not plagued by jealousy over infidelity but rather by your envy of your lover’s success.
- A man believes and acts on the belief that his lover is his property, something he owns, and every time the lover flirts with outsiders, the jealous man feels that he’s been robbed�.that brings on the intense rage felt by so many jealous men is a sudden, strongly felt lack of self-worth.
- But, Andriette complained, the machine didn’t know when to quit. Wisely observing, “mankind can be divided into those who like their cocks vigorously attended right after orgasm, and those who would rather get punched in the stomach,� he found that the gizmo turned into his personal penile torture chamber.
- (Licking) Others prefer armpits and will do a better job than any deoderant, while still others go for the delicate backs of the knees.
- The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex: A Medical Handbook for Men by Dr. Stephen Goldstone (sex organ functionality)
- Some men like to look at themselves in the mirror while jerking off. They particularly like the image of their tensing muscles at the moment of orgasm.
- Back in the “medieval times� of the mid 1970s, psychiatrist David Ruben actually wrote and got away with a best-selling sex guide that said homosexual males only masturbated each other. Gays of his day used to read his section on homosexuality aloud at parties, trying to finish this short section while deflecting howls of laughter and lewd comments (amidst a hilarious good time for all) from fellow cocksuckers and sodomites.
- (mutual masturbation) You can do it by sitting, standing, lying down in bed, with one of you sitting and one standing, with one kneeling and the other standing. You can rub against each other while jerking each other off. You can look at each other’s face, and body, and of course at each other’s cock and balls. You can kiss, lick, nibble, or bite each other.
- For that matter, no scientist has ever explained how people end up heterosexual, a matter every bit as mysterious.
- Some guys love to play with each other’s nipples after they’ve come: It’s intimate and sexy.
- Vocalizing is a way of relaxing your diaphragm and throat and releasing your entire upper body. All too many people who are accustomed to furtive, silent sex freeze their upper body and confine their erotic sensations to below the belt.
- (Phone sex) It does make a difference when you call. For example, on weekdays, from 7 to 9 A.M. is when you're likely to hear someone say, "Can I take care of your morning load?"—i.e., it's jerk-off time. Then you're off to work like everyone else. The afternoon can also be jerk-off time, but with a different group; that's when horny artists, freelancers, and waiters frustrated with work take to the phones. Early evening is slump time for phone sex. People are going about their business, meeting friends, having dinner, going to the movies. Prime time for phone callers is 11 P.M. to 2 A.M. These are "the relentless hours." From 2 to 6 A.M., weekdays, you may hear from people who've been partying all night on drugs and alcohol and have artificially heightened desire. Often, because of the drugs, they can't get hard-ons and would be dreary sex in person, but not necessarily over the phone (see Booze and Highs; Drug Abuse; Drugs and Sex). The post-club-going crowd, high on ecstasy, may also call at this time. Weekend nights on the phone are often not about jerking off, but about setting up a meeting. Phone lines are at a premium on weekend nights, and busy signals are common. Couples looking for a third party to spice things up at home most often use phone lines then.
- “Rape is about power, not about sex� has become a commonly heard statement. Yet sex and power are intimately related. What changes sexual intercourse (in its widest sense) into rape is not the force used, but rather the lack of consent.
- (role playing) captor/captive, delivery boy/householder, sergeant/recruit, ticketing policeman/offending driver, examination giver/test taker
- Sometimes a leather thong or metal chain is strung through the tit rings and given to the sadist to play with. Many masochists enjoy “tit torture� during sex, especially when they are sucking off their master.
- Stalkers consider their victim their personal property to dispose of however they deem fit, and the result of a confrontation may not be pretty.
- Some sexually active gay men never undress with a trick with the lights off. They quietly take down the trick's underwear in the light (in a sexy way) and check his dick for a discharge. If they find it, the trick goes packing. He shouldn't be having sex while he's infectious. This procedure needn't be clinical-use your imagination! If, however, you delay treatment, the infection will spread up the urethra and into your prostate—which will really fuck you up.
- Rock forward and backward toward your partner’s feet and feel his cock inside, rubbing against your prostate. Experienced men have expert control over their rectal muscles and can loosen or tighten their grip on a cock at will; they can use their assholes to grasp just the head of the cock, flexing the sphincter until their partner is ready to come.
- What most people complain about is how difficult it is to concentrate both on the pleasure of sucking cock and being sucked, since both delights are simultaneously offered…For others, this problem is more than offset by sixty-nining’s distinct charms. If someone’s doing you, you may become so carried away with ecstasy that you long for more. As a result of your own excitement you tend to attend more excitedly to the sexual object in your possession, his cock, sucking it even more vigorously, until he responds with equal vigor, and you increase your abandon, and he increases his abandon, etc. There is total reciprocity, and the result can be truly terrific, bone-crunching, simultaneous (or nearly so) orgasms.
- New studies show that men’s sweat, for instance, is usually a strong turn-off to women, unless they are ovulating; in which case, it’s a powerful aphrodisiac. For many gay men, sweat is always an intense attractant, and men not particularly into sleaze admit that ripe, unwashed armpits in a crowded room draw them like flies to honey.
- Your goal is to gently caress every square inch of his skin.
- American gay men enjoy unprecedented access to gay life on every continent except for Antarctica (and we’re not sure of that).
- Before the Iron Curtain fell in Eastern Europe, one of the authors, adrift for the night in Budapest, Hungary, went looking for a gay bar, and lacking any leads, he asked for assistance from a multilingual taxi driver. The author was told that no such thing existed, but he was directed—and driven to—the men’s rest room in the basement of the city’s Communist headquarters, where the cabbie assured him he’d find sexual action in a completely safe environment because, “after all, who would dare arrest a Party official?� This recommendation proved totally accurate, although the author never checked for Party ID during the ensuing orgy.
- At some periods in a gay man’s life, he feels like having a lot of sex with many different guys. Generally, although not always, these periods come right after a young man has accepted his homosexuality or when he has broken out of a difficult, lingering, bad relationship. It can happen when you leave home for college, leave college for work, move to a new town, take a new job, come into money, or lose a parent who never approved of your gay life. It could even happen if you’re fired from your job or if you lose an important social position. You find yourself with time on your hands; you feel frustrated or, more often, simply feel an extra surge of libido. In short, you become a horny bastard.
- Sexual proclivities seldom conform to appearance�.If you find yourself trapped by other’s stereotypes about you, the best move you can make is to state your desires explicitly. On the other hand you’ve got to be willing to stop dressing and behaving in a way that arouses stereotypical—and in your case false—expectations…If you depart from this look, you may be less popular. No matter. What’s the use of awakening desire in others if it’s the wrong desire?
- Guys into enemas have their own favorite sizes, shapes, and even forms of enema tube to be inserted inside them, as well as favorite liquids to be squirted, from the simplest—warm water—to coffee, soft drinks, their partner’s piss, even expensive wines. However, using alcoholic drinks in large enough quantities (no one knows how large) can lead to death as alcohol is quickly absorbed. Also be advised that excessive flushing of the colon may damage it.
- For more than a few, this interest in wrestling may have evolved out of their adolescence when, for many gay youths, the closest they could come—or allow themselves to come—to physical contact with another youth was through wrestling, in either its spontaneous sense of “just fooling around� with another guy on the grass, or more formally in school gyms and/or at the many intra- and interstate competitions.
cross references in appendix I wanted to look into:
Townsend, Larry. The Leatherman’s Handbook.
Preston, John. In Search of a Master
Preston, John. Flesh and the Word: An Anthology of Gay Erotic Writing.
Thompson, Mark. Leather Folk: Radical Sex, People, Politics, and Practice.
found via appendix in the ethical slut
kind of a historical artifact almost, some interesting nuances of gay culture preserved in it so i overall enjoyed it, its split up like an encyclopedia so easy to search for specific terms or just read through them like little chapters, learned a few new sex tips on the way. i especially enjoyed the forward giving a storyline of this books journey through censorship in different country’s publishing during the 80s-90s, and the struggle to even get this out for anyone to read
- French customs seized and shredded them. Thousands of copies of the American edition were also imported into Britain, where they were seized by Her Majesty’s Customs and burned.
- The book had a particularly hard time in Canada, where local police and governmental customs tried to suppress it. In Winnipeg in 1980, for instance, a newspaper reported that a woman rushed into a bookstore looking for a copy of The Joy of Cooking. She picked up The Joy of Gay Sex by mistake, or so she claimed. When she got home, she opened the book (to F, in order to make a fricassee?) and was profoundly embarrassed by what she saw. She called the police, who, upon her complaint, raided the store and confiscated all copies of the book. The police had trumped up the whole affair.
- Ironically, it was the case of a heterosexual man that resulted in the overturning British customs laws against pornography. Around 1987, he bought a mail-order life size, inflatable female sex doll. Customs confiscated it. The man turned to the European High Court to rule on the dispute. Since Great Britain was joining the European Common Market, it was ordered to apply the same liberal standards for importation as the rest of Europe. The straight man got his fuckable doll back, and it meant the end to the censorship of gay materials.
- Some HIV-infected gay men preferred a Pollyanna-type physician who might say, “Don’t worry, everything is going to be fine,� while a different gay man preferred the direct approach: “Sorry son, you’re going to die soon.� No matter what anyone said, they all died anyway.
- Ignore the entreaties of a man who says, “You can fuck me without a condom,� especially since you can be sure that he said the same thing to the man who fucked him last night, and the night before, and…�
- Bear culture simply allows some otherwise isolated and under appreciated gay men to relate to other gays with whom they feel most comfortable, providing greater diversity in our population, and with the added benefit of fighting straight stereotypes, both from within and outside the gay community.
- For instance, one expert places needles in the body of his partner, then connects them with kite string to form a frame above the body. Combining piercing with bondage, he then “plays the instrument,� plucking the strings to create pain in different parts of the body.
- Some men like the sweet agony of being tied up and then subjected to a long blow job to which they can respond only with groans; or to having their body licked and caressed until they’re mad with pleasure; or to being fucked in the mouth or in the ass while they writhe, unable to do anything to stop the action.
- The famous Mineshaft in New York City used to hold its Bondage Club’s meetings on Sunday afternoons, and it wasn’t surprising to walk in on a half dozen young men tied up in heavy hemp rope in all sorts of positions, and to have a lecturer in full British Admiralty dress explaining the intricacies of the nineteenth-century English marine knots being used, a lecture that—save for the naked, writhing bodies—might be held in any museum, with precise terminology, wooden pointer, and avid listeners.
- It prevents gay men from becoming too pompous or serious in discussing their problems. One example of camp dialogue supposedly overheard during a police raid on “the trucks,� a pre-liberation sexual gathering area in Greenwich Village: “Run, Mary! It’s the cops!� To which someone else responds, “Please, no names!� At its best camp can be rebellious, elusive, Dada, an anarchic force in gay life.
- Camp seeks to disarm its enemies by identifying with the oppressors. If straight society accuses us of being women, we’ll turn the accusation into a compliment. In fact, we will show them we’re more outrageously feminine than they imagined. As blacks tease each other by calling themselves ***, thereby defusing the insult hurled by whites, so gay men make a virtue out of the vice attributed to them.
- Condoms (and dildos) first appeared in England by 1660, supposedly brought over from Italy, and were in wide use by the eighteenth century, when sexually transmitted diseases had become rampant in Europe.
- It’s not unusual for the participants, particularly the son, to experience a rush of emotion after orgasm. Cradled by his daddy, the son may cry at the warmth and compassion he’s experiencing, warmth he probably never experienced from his biological father.
- Talking dirty can also enhance your solo sex. Most men jerk off to videos, but a few talk out loud to the characters on screen. Try this: If you identify with one of the characters, say what he’s feeling toward the guy he’s fucking—or to the man sucking his cock…say gentle words if that’s what you’re feeling, or be powerful and controlling if that’s your mood.
- Talk about his orgasm. Talk about how strong it was, or comment on how thick his come is, or anything that makes him feel sexy and powerful. Obviously, this exercise has a lot of variations. Try them all.
- He may prefer his right foot hooked over your shoulder, his left foot below, wrapped around your back; this position gives more flexibility, and it places his asshole at a slightly different angle in relation to your cock, which may ease entry.
- Both straight and gay teenagers know the intimacy and ardor of friendship, but all too many straights “grow out of� those fierce involvements and pour all their emotional energies into their husband or wife and children.
- Sometimes frottage is called belly-fucking, or more pejoratively, the Princeton rub. One lubricates one’s partner’s stomach or one’s own cock, climbs on top, and pumps away.
- One of the real tragedies of the AIDS epidemic was that entire gay families were wiped out, or most of a gay family. A gay man who may have existed for years within his carefully cultivated environment of love was suddenly isolated and without the support network he’d relied on, at exactly the time he mostly needed it.
- Often there was dating across generations, so that twenty-year-olds dated thirty-year-olds, some of whom dated forty-year-olds, some of whom dated sixty year olds. In the past, the gay community gained considerable strength from all of its generations working together.
- In fact, gyms have become to our time what bars and clubs were in previous decades: a basic, central location where gay men can meet and socialize. While gyms aren’t necessarily sexual hangouts, they certainly can be, especially in showers, steam rooms, and saunas.
- If you were really honest with yourself, you’d admit you’re not plagued by jealousy over infidelity but rather by your envy of your lover’s success.
- A man believes and acts on the belief that his lover is his property, something he owns, and every time the lover flirts with outsiders, the jealous man feels that he’s been robbed�.that brings on the intense rage felt by so many jealous men is a sudden, strongly felt lack of self-worth.
- But, Andriette complained, the machine didn’t know when to quit. Wisely observing, “mankind can be divided into those who like their cocks vigorously attended right after orgasm, and those who would rather get punched in the stomach,� he found that the gizmo turned into his personal penile torture chamber.
- (Licking) Others prefer armpits and will do a better job than any deoderant, while still others go for the delicate backs of the knees.
- The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex: A Medical Handbook for Men by Dr. Stephen Goldstone (sex organ functionality)
- Some men like to look at themselves in the mirror while jerking off. They particularly like the image of their tensing muscles at the moment of orgasm.
- Back in the “medieval times� of the mid 1970s, psychiatrist David Ruben actually wrote and got away with a best-selling sex guide that said homosexual males only masturbated each other. Gays of his day used to read his section on homosexuality aloud at parties, trying to finish this short section while deflecting howls of laughter and lewd comments (amidst a hilarious good time for all) from fellow cocksuckers and sodomites.
- (mutual masturbation) You can do it by sitting, standing, lying down in bed, with one of you sitting and one standing, with one kneeling and the other standing. You can rub against each other while jerking each other off. You can look at each other’s face, and body, and of course at each other’s cock and balls. You can kiss, lick, nibble, or bite each other.
- For that matter, no scientist has ever explained how people end up heterosexual, a matter every bit as mysterious.
- Some guys love to play with each other’s nipples after they’ve come: It’s intimate and sexy.
- Vocalizing is a way of relaxing your diaphragm and throat and releasing your entire upper body. All too many people who are accustomed to furtive, silent sex freeze their upper body and confine their erotic sensations to below the belt.
- (Phone sex) It does make a difference when you call. For example, on weekdays, from 7 to 9 A.M. is when you're likely to hear someone say, "Can I take care of your morning load?"—i.e., it's jerk-off time. Then you're off to work like everyone else. The afternoon can also be jerk-off time, but with a different group; that's when horny artists, freelancers, and waiters frustrated with work take to the phones. Early evening is slump time for phone sex. People are going about their business, meeting friends, having dinner, going to the movies. Prime time for phone callers is 11 P.M. to 2 A.M. These are "the relentless hours." From 2 to 6 A.M., weekdays, you may hear from people who've been partying all night on drugs and alcohol and have artificially heightened desire. Often, because of the drugs, they can't get hard-ons and would be dreary sex in person, but not necessarily over the phone (see Booze and Highs; Drug Abuse; Drugs and Sex). The post-club-going crowd, high on ecstasy, may also call at this time. Weekend nights on the phone are often not about jerking off, but about setting up a meeting. Phone lines are at a premium on weekend nights, and busy signals are common. Couples looking for a third party to spice things up at home most often use phone lines then.
- “Rape is about power, not about sex� has become a commonly heard statement. Yet sex and power are intimately related. What changes sexual intercourse (in its widest sense) into rape is not the force used, but rather the lack of consent.
- (role playing) captor/captive, delivery boy/householder, sergeant/recruit, ticketing policeman/offending driver, examination giver/test taker
- Sometimes a leather thong or metal chain is strung through the tit rings and given to the sadist to play with. Many masochists enjoy “tit torture� during sex, especially when they are sucking off their master.
- Stalkers consider their victim their personal property to dispose of however they deem fit, and the result of a confrontation may not be pretty.
- Some sexually active gay men never undress with a trick with the lights off. They quietly take down the trick's underwear in the light (in a sexy way) and check his dick for a discharge. If they find it, the trick goes packing. He shouldn't be having sex while he's infectious. This procedure needn't be clinical-use your imagination! If, however, you delay treatment, the infection will spread up the urethra and into your prostate—which will really fuck you up.
- Rock forward and backward toward your partner’s feet and feel his cock inside, rubbing against your prostate. Experienced men have expert control over their rectal muscles and can loosen or tighten their grip on a cock at will; they can use their assholes to grasp just the head of the cock, flexing the sphincter until their partner is ready to come.
- What most people complain about is how difficult it is to concentrate both on the pleasure of sucking cock and being sucked, since both delights are simultaneously offered…For others, this problem is more than offset by sixty-nining’s distinct charms. If someone’s doing you, you may become so carried away with ecstasy that you long for more. As a result of your own excitement you tend to attend more excitedly to the sexual object in your possession, his cock, sucking it even more vigorously, until he responds with equal vigor, and you increase your abandon, and he increases his abandon, etc. There is total reciprocity, and the result can be truly terrific, bone-crunching, simultaneous (or nearly so) orgasms.
- New studies show that men’s sweat, for instance, is usually a strong turn-off to women, unless they are ovulating; in which case, it’s a powerful aphrodisiac. For many gay men, sweat is always an intense attractant, and men not particularly into sleaze admit that ripe, unwashed armpits in a crowded room draw them like flies to honey.
- Your goal is to gently caress every square inch of his skin.
- American gay men enjoy unprecedented access to gay life on every continent except for Antarctica (and we’re not sure of that).
- Before the Iron Curtain fell in Eastern Europe, one of the authors, adrift for the night in Budapest, Hungary, went looking for a gay bar, and lacking any leads, he asked for assistance from a multilingual taxi driver. The author was told that no such thing existed, but he was directed—and driven to—the men’s rest room in the basement of the city’s Communist headquarters, where the cabbie assured him he’d find sexual action in a completely safe environment because, “after all, who would dare arrest a Party official?� This recommendation proved totally accurate, although the author never checked for Party ID during the ensuing orgy.
- At some periods in a gay man’s life, he feels like having a lot of sex with many different guys. Generally, although not always, these periods come right after a young man has accepted his homosexuality or when he has broken out of a difficult, lingering, bad relationship. It can happen when you leave home for college, leave college for work, move to a new town, take a new job, come into money, or lose a parent who never approved of your gay life. It could even happen if you’re fired from your job or if you lose an important social position. You find yourself with time on your hands; you feel frustrated or, more often, simply feel an extra surge of libido. In short, you become a horny bastard.
- Sexual proclivities seldom conform to appearance�.If you find yourself trapped by other’s stereotypes about you, the best move you can make is to state your desires explicitly. On the other hand you’ve got to be willing to stop dressing and behaving in a way that arouses stereotypical—and in your case false—expectations…If you depart from this look, you may be less popular. No matter. What’s the use of awakening desire in others if it’s the wrong desire?
- Guys into enemas have their own favorite sizes, shapes, and even forms of enema tube to be inserted inside them, as well as favorite liquids to be squirted, from the simplest—warm water—to coffee, soft drinks, their partner’s piss, even expensive wines. However, using alcoholic drinks in large enough quantities (no one knows how large) can lead to death as alcohol is quickly absorbed. Also be advised that excessive flushing of the colon may damage it.
- For more than a few, this interest in wrestling may have evolved out of their adolescence when, for many gay youths, the closest they could come—or allow themselves to come—to physical contact with another youth was through wrestling, in either its spontaneous sense of “just fooling around� with another guy on the grass, or more formally in school gyms and/or at the many intra- and interstate competitions.
cross references in appendix I wanted to look into:
Townsend, Larry. The Leatherman’s Handbook.
Preston, John. In Search of a Master
Preston, John. Flesh and the Word: An Anthology of Gay Erotic Writing.
Thompson, Mark. Leather Folk: Radical Sex, People, Politics, and Practice.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 31, 2017
Informative, if somewhat outdated. Mostly focussed on the US gay scene.
December 1, 2017
Very good in explaining psychological mechanisms, although still very subjective.
The authors are very knowledgable.
This books is useful in self-reflection.
The authors are very knowledgable.
This books is useful in self-reflection.
September 14, 2015
Interesting to read this book ~15 years after it was published. I skimmed the last half as I lost interest. The illustrations are great and sexy.
The format is totally outdated - a "encyclopedia" style book is just not relevant in today's age of Google. I loved it just for the time capsule that it is in relation to gay culture.
The format is totally outdated - a "encyclopedia" style book is just not relevant in today's age of Google. I loved it just for the time capsule that it is in relation to gay culture.
Read
April 5, 2010Another book I read because it was on my roommate's shelf. My roomie Mike came out that year and shortly thereafter this book appeared on his shelf. I read all his other books (Faulkner, Philip K. Dick, what have you), so I read this one too. I'm not going to rate it because I'm so far out of the target audience.
August 2, 2007
I think it may have changed since I read it...
March 14, 2008
haha this book told me nothing i didnt already know. pics in it not even spank worthy.
July 10, 2012
It was informative and a good read.
June 9, 2014
It would've been better if it was written by Chaim Potok
August 20, 2015
THE MUST have book if you are Gay!!! ESSENTIAL reading!!!!!!!
May 24, 2016
This book gave excellent, detailed instructions on giving oral sex to a man.
"If you want to please a man, learn from one"
"If you want to please a man, learn from one"
December 1, 2020
Captures the mystique of gay (male) sexual expression. Affirming and energizing.
February 5, 2025
What am I going to say about this? Do I admit to having even read it? It's a daunting title - not the kind of title one would feel comfortable with most friends or relatives seeing on your bookshelves. But in real life it is so much more - and so much less - than the title infers. (I am here reviewing the original 1977 version. I don't know if the later revisions are any different). One imagines it is going to be a sex manual with descriptions of different positions and techniques, but it is not really like that at all. Yes, there are some descriptions, occasionally accompanied by an illustration, but they generally aren't very comprehensible to the uninitiated novice. Generally there is the need for a series of comic strip/graphic novel-type illustrations to take you through a process step by step, to visually present what the writers are unable to describe clearly in words. So as a sex manual it falls woefully short.
There are many illustrations throughout the book, many of them very good ones - attractive - but most of them aren't strictly tied into the text, they are just there to look nice and to enjoy looking at. I think some people would enjoy it for the pictures alone (no photos, mainly explicit black and white drawings for the most part, but with some modern and historic paintings too).
But I said that the book was more than the title implied. It is more than just about sex. It is more like an A to Z of gay life and gay lifestyles in general, and that is how it is presented, an alphabetical encyclopaedia covering lots of different topics. Much of it felt very dated - unless it is just very specific to life in the USA - and one imagines that attitudes and behaviours have changed somewhat in the last 45 years. Again, it would be interesting to see how radically different the modern revisions of this book are to the first edition. The introduction was quite interesting and maybe many straight people would want to read that. But would the authors still hold the same views today, denying that homosexuality is genetic, and saying that twentieth-century homosexuality has no precendents in history, when contrary views are so widely promulgated today?
In spite of the title the book didn't convey much sense of joy - it hardly conveys the spirit of a Tom of Finland comic. A lot of it is rather depressing and dark, or promoting thoughts and ideas that I imagine many readers wouldn't feel particularly comfortable with. The authors seem to attack the institution of marriage and think that the the whole point of homosexuality is to throw off the shackles of convention and to embrace a hedonistic lifestyle with as many changing partners as one cares to have, living for the moment with no cause to ever feel trapped or tied down, and any desire to be faithful to one man for life, or restricting oneself to sleeping only with one man while in a relationship with him, is regarded as being an unnecessary and undesireable comformity to societal norms which the enlightened person ought to cast aside.
The authors also seem to make the weird assertion that if a gay man is not attracted to the world of drag queens - or to any other particular group of people or type of behaviour within the gay world which is at variance with his own preferences and inclinations - that it is because he is subconsciously ashamed as his own homosexuality, as though to be fully embracing of his sexuality a man has to embrace the whole of the gay 'community' in all its facets. Is it a sign of a man being ashamed of his heterosexuality if he has a natural preference for blondes, or if he finds something detestable about a bathing beauty contest, or if he can't understand the mentality of people who would travel halfway around the world to watch a football match? Does being gay - or straight - mean that a man automatically has to love and endorse everything which is done by everyone else of the same sexual orientation? I think the authors often make some quite insulting and offensive accusations and assumptions about gay men which will be sure to offend a certain portion of their readership.
I am very critical of the book and wouldn't particularly recommend reading it for its helpfulness to the gay man today (though perhaps you will find some advice in there which is useful), but I think it can be enjoyed just for its illustrations, and also it is informative as a historical record of what the homosexual world was like in 1970s America.
There are many illustrations throughout the book, many of them very good ones - attractive - but most of them aren't strictly tied into the text, they are just there to look nice and to enjoy looking at. I think some people would enjoy it for the pictures alone (no photos, mainly explicit black and white drawings for the most part, but with some modern and historic paintings too).
But I said that the book was more than the title implied. It is more than just about sex. It is more like an A to Z of gay life and gay lifestyles in general, and that is how it is presented, an alphabetical encyclopaedia covering lots of different topics. Much of it felt very dated - unless it is just very specific to life in the USA - and one imagines that attitudes and behaviours have changed somewhat in the last 45 years. Again, it would be interesting to see how radically different the modern revisions of this book are to the first edition. The introduction was quite interesting and maybe many straight people would want to read that. But would the authors still hold the same views today, denying that homosexuality is genetic, and saying that twentieth-century homosexuality has no precendents in history, when contrary views are so widely promulgated today?
In spite of the title the book didn't convey much sense of joy - it hardly conveys the spirit of a Tom of Finland comic. A lot of it is rather depressing and dark, or promoting thoughts and ideas that I imagine many readers wouldn't feel particularly comfortable with. The authors seem to attack the institution of marriage and think that the the whole point of homosexuality is to throw off the shackles of convention and to embrace a hedonistic lifestyle with as many changing partners as one cares to have, living for the moment with no cause to ever feel trapped or tied down, and any desire to be faithful to one man for life, or restricting oneself to sleeping only with one man while in a relationship with him, is regarded as being an unnecessary and undesireable comformity to societal norms which the enlightened person ought to cast aside.
The authors also seem to make the weird assertion that if a gay man is not attracted to the world of drag queens - or to any other particular group of people or type of behaviour within the gay world which is at variance with his own preferences and inclinations - that it is because he is subconsciously ashamed as his own homosexuality, as though to be fully embracing of his sexuality a man has to embrace the whole of the gay 'community' in all its facets. Is it a sign of a man being ashamed of his heterosexuality if he has a natural preference for blondes, or if he finds something detestable about a bathing beauty contest, or if he can't understand the mentality of people who would travel halfway around the world to watch a football match? Does being gay - or straight - mean that a man automatically has to love and endorse everything which is done by everyone else of the same sexual orientation? I think the authors often make some quite insulting and offensive accusations and assumptions about gay men which will be sure to offend a certain portion of their readership.
I am very critical of the book and wouldn't particularly recommend reading it for its helpfulness to the gay man today (though perhaps you will find some advice in there which is useful), but I think it can be enjoyed just for its illustrations, and also it is informative as a historical record of what the homosexual world was like in 1970s America.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get help and learn more about the design.