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It Started with Brian
Sam searches for love and acceptance as he deals with the pressures of student life, a troubled family and his emerging confusion over his sexuality as he finds himself falling in love with his best friend.
'It Started with Brian' is Dan Kincaid's auto-biography (Sam in the story). He passed before he was able to able to finish it and a friend (Adam Phillips) continued it in his honor.
Words 183,078
'It Started with Brian' is Dan Kincaid's auto-biography (Sam in the story). He passed before he was able to able to finish it and a friend (Adam Phillips) continued it in his honor.
Words 183,078
550 pages, Online Publication
First published December 29, 2010
5 people are currently reading
307 people want to read
About the author
Dan Kincaid
17Ìýbooks8Ìýfollowers'It Started with Brian' is Dan Kincaid's auto-biography (Sam in the story). He passed before he was able to able to finish it and a friend (Adam Phillips) continued it in his honor.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
November 26, 2015
This book was an emotional rollercoaster, but once I started reading I couldn't put it down. I was up till 4am reading it, and then got up again at 7:30 to finish. It is 34 chapters long with a postscript as Chapter 35.
It is the story of a bi high school student Samuel, who falls in love with his best friend Brian, but even though the book is called It Started With Brian, I felt that it more accurately started with Brian's sister who Sammy dated, and fell in love with, first. The story follows all the twists and turns in Sammy's life and the partners and relationships that he has before he finally embraces true love.
Before you read this book, it helps to know the following things so you can decide how 'heavy' of a read you're in the mood for right now. These really make the story resonate and kick you in the chest:
1)
and
2)
As far as the writing itself goes, the first 13 chapters have a very simplistic style. It follows the author through high school and were 'ok' but nothing there really grabbed me. I could have taken the story or left it for the first 13 chapters, to be honest.
Then we get to Chapter 14 and sh*t gets real. You can almost tell the exact chapter that Adam starts co-writing with the author and a beta is introduced. The style smooths out and the story flows much better.
At Chapter 19, the opening paragraph really brings things home to you and things get serious. But you still have 16 chapters to go.
Note: If you just want a happy ending, stop at Chapter 34. The postscript is from the real life Brian and addresses the two spoilers I referenced above. Again, it makes things very 'real'.
This is not an easy story to read. It is always witty, at times fun and happy, but often heartwrenching and sad. You will, possibly, lose patience with Sammy for his choices at times. But, for me, I could empathasize because he was dealing with so much and was clearly emotionally 'broken'. Plus, he was only in his twenties! How many people are still making effed up decisions in their thirties or forites even?? His love for his son and the people around him resonates throughout the story and that is what stood out for me.
This is definitely a story I recommend. It is the penultimate 'gay for you' story, and proves that true love transcends gender or sexual orientation.
And now, a rant that you should only read if you've read the above spoilers and don't mind being further spoiled. I just have to say that
I really think this book should be published. I think Adam should revamp the first 13 chapters and shop it to a publisher. I would definitely buy a copy.
It is the story of a bi high school student Samuel, who falls in love with his best friend Brian, but even though the book is called It Started With Brian, I felt that it more accurately started with Brian's sister who Sammy dated, and fell in love with, first. The story follows all the twists and turns in Sammy's life and the partners and relationships that he has before he finally embraces true love.
Before you read this book, it helps to know the following things so you can decide how 'heavy' of a read you're in the mood for right now. These really make the story resonate and kick you in the chest:
1)
and
2)
As far as the writing itself goes, the first 13 chapters have a very simplistic style. It follows the author through high school and were 'ok' but nothing there really grabbed me. I could have taken the story or left it for the first 13 chapters, to be honest.
Then we get to Chapter 14 and sh*t gets real. You can almost tell the exact chapter that Adam starts co-writing with the author and a beta is introduced. The style smooths out and the story flows much better.
At Chapter 19, the opening paragraph really brings things home to you and things get serious. But you still have 16 chapters to go.
Note: If you just want a happy ending, stop at Chapter 34. The postscript is from the real life Brian and addresses the two spoilers I referenced above. Again, it makes things very 'real'.
This is not an easy story to read. It is always witty, at times fun and happy, but often heartwrenching and sad. You will, possibly, lose patience with Sammy for his choices at times. But, for me, I could empathasize because he was dealing with so much and was clearly emotionally 'broken'. Plus, he was only in his twenties! How many people are still making effed up decisions in their thirties or forites even?? His love for his son and the people around him resonates throughout the story and that is what stood out for me.
This is definitely a story I recommend. It is the penultimate 'gay for you' story, and proves that true love transcends gender or sexual orientation.
And now, a rant that you should only read if you've read the above spoilers and don't mind being further spoiled. I just have to say that
I really think this book should be published. I think Adam should revamp the first 13 chapters and shop it to a publisher. I would definitely buy a copy.
September 22, 2010
This book made me cry and laugh and be amazed by turns. I don't know if it is because I knew it was an autobiography that it seemed so much more real than many things I have read recently. This story tells the story of the tragic and beautiful love of two friends over close to two decades as they work out their own issues and how to trust each other. It is not a book I will be re-reading very often because it was so emotionally raking but it is a book that will stay with me for a very long time. I highly recommend it.
March 29, 2013
How on Earth is this rated four stars? I tried so hard to stick with this because I so badly wanted the GFY and friends to lovers bit to happen. (but due to the ridciulous way that Sam selfishly ignored his best friend, Brian for the past two years, i dont even care about the best friends to lovers bit, because they aremt even best friends anymore. Even though i really liked Brian, Sam was a complete and utter mess.) And at the end of chapter 16 I had to give up. I mean the ridiculous "explanations" and "excuses" and "rationalizations" that Sam, the narrator has are just ludicrous and make me angry at this point. This excerpt at the end of chapter 16 was the final straw:
"In the immediate aftermath [of her sister's death, my pregant wife Erica] ended up in the hospital on suicide watch. Twice. I understood her despair personally, from my own past, but I didn't have the power to do anything to help her.
Gradually, Erica sank into a depression so dark, there was no reaching her. I tried so hard, but whatever we had together wasn't enough to bring her back. At this point she would have had to get happier to find the energy to kill herself.
All I could do was hang on to my work and my sanity, for the sake of my wife and my unborn child. I left for work every day, wondering if she'd be there when I got home. I tried over and over again to get help for her, but she refused to stay in the hospital, and I didn't want to commit her against her will."
My thoughts: Really? Your pregnant, ex-drug addict wife is on suicide watch and you can't do anything to help her? Even though you are a crisis counsellor who has many resources to help her. Sam, you are a therapist!!! And you don't want to commit her "against her will" even though she tried to kill herself twice, is pregnant, is incredibly depressed and is like 20 years old just like you. And meanwhile, you go off to work every day and your psychotic ex-boyfriend who nearly killed you literally stalks you and you think that Brian and his parents and siblings, the people who have always loved and supported you, are disgusted by you, even though they never have said or done anything to show that and instead show their unconditional love and support to you.... No! No more reading this! Too much! Too infuriating. Last straw. I wish I never even started this. It looked so promising and started off great, but just got SO bad!
November 4, 2011
This is one of the most touching and heartbreaking stories that I've read in a long time. I am amazed by Sam's strength. I just can not believe how much he and Brian have been through. And I'm angry that fate was so unfair to them.
I wish happiness to Brian and Chris.
I'm also greatful that Mr. Adam Phillips was able to complete this book, because, in my opinion, it's a must read. I'll never forget this story.
I wish happiness to Brian and Chris.
I'm also greatful that Mr. Adam Phillips was able to complete this book, because, in my opinion, it's a must read. I'll never forget this story.
November 11, 2011
Kind of emotionally exhausting to read, then when I realised it was a true story, and it became a complete tearjerker. Not the kind of story I usually like, because it felt a bit like a soap opera at times, but I felt I had to finish it, and I'm happy I did.
August 25, 2018
One of the most important stories I have ever read
March 21, 2013
This story chronicles the real-life experiences of Dan Kincaid (Sam in the book) as a young bi-sexual man who struggles with a troubled past and coming to terms with his sexuality. These struggles are compounded as he finds himself falling in love with his straight best friend, Brian. The story follows Sam and Brian from their initial meeting in high school until a few months before the diagnosis of cancer which ultimately claimed Sam’s life. There is no denying that this book is an extremely emotional read…you will be totally “wrung out� by the time you finish it. Some may be critical of Sam and his choices. Undeniably Sam made some misguided decisions in his life…who among us has not. But I believe those choices have to be viewed within the context of his life experiences, many of which were beyond his control. He had a lot of baggage to deal with. And inarguably the good things in life seem that much sweeter when viewed through the prism of tragedy. I never saw Sam as a “glass half empty� kind of guy. Even through all his trials and tribulations, I saw a man who was loving and loyal to his friends and family…and ultimately hopeful. It is a very touching story that stays with you long after you finish the book.
This is an online publication that can be accessed by clicking on the URL on the product page.
This is an online publication that can be accessed by clicking on the URL on the product page.
November 2, 2016
Thank you Dan for writing this wonderful book about your life. This was the second time I read this book and it still struck a chord straight to my heart. I’m still sitting here taking it all in. It must have been so hard for him to be so honest with his life. I feel like in so doing so it helped him deal with all that happened in his life.
As I was reading, I couldn’t help but once again relate to the situations and events that happened to Dan and reflect it on own life and what happened to me when I was growing up. Like Dan, I had also been sexually molested when I was a kid and I struggled with depression and being gay even until this day. There was also a point in my life, just like Dan when I felt completely and utterly alone and tried to commit suicide. Some things that like you just can never get over and like Dan you just put it in a shelf in the back of your mind and don't let it come out to bother you.
But� I learned a great deal from living life and from this book. I truly did. Everything happens for a reason and I learned that when you love someone. YOU SHOULD JUST TELL THEM because in Dan's case, life is short and you never what life throws at you but you gotta hold the people you love closer and kiss the ones you love a little harder.
.
As I was reading, I couldn’t help but once again relate to the situations and events that happened to Dan and reflect it on own life and what happened to me when I was growing up. Like Dan, I had also been sexually molested when I was a kid and I struggled with depression and being gay even until this day. There was also a point in my life, just like Dan when I felt completely and utterly alone and tried to commit suicide. Some things that like you just can never get over and like Dan you just put it in a shelf in the back of your mind and don't let it come out to bother you.
But� I learned a great deal from living life and from this book. I truly did. Everything happens for a reason and I learned that when you love someone. YOU SHOULD JUST TELL THEM because in Dan's case, life is short and you never what life throws at you but you gotta hold the people you love closer and kiss the ones you love a little harder.
.
November 22, 2010
A very special book. Heart-breaking. I can't get it out of my mind and it will be with me always.
January 5, 2013
Wow, this book put me through the ringer. What an emotional rollercoster ride, I laughed, I cried, I felt anger, but most importantly I felt the love Sam and Brian shared from the very begining. Knowing its a true story makes my heart break even more for all involved. I got all the way to chapter 29 before I put it down for the night only to wake up at 3 and finish it then not being able to go back to sleep cause my thoughts were all over the place.
If there is ever a doubt that a GFY story is real, this book proves its possible. A great BIG thanks to Adam for finishing this story.
If there is ever a doubt that a GFY story is real, this book proves its possible. A great BIG thanks to Adam for finishing this story.
July 29, 2012
Shit! Just finished. Crying like a baby. I think I will write a review on this one soon. It's just too much right now. All I can say is, that I'm so so sorry that Sam and Brian didn't have more time. They both would have deserved it so much.
March 29, 2012
Honestly, I'm too much of a wreck right now to write a review. Powerful. Heartbreaking. Beautiful. Will try to write something more coherent later.
August 25, 2017
One of those books where you finish it and spend 20 minutes lying on the floor digesting it, feeling utterly drained of all energy.
Powerful and meaningful.
Powerful and meaningful.
March 14, 2013
i really liked this book. it's just. im out of words.
January 31, 2021
Raw storytelling about damaged people trying to learn to love each other healthy. Its complex and authentic without ever being maudlin or sensationalized. The story is grounded in truth, and you'll love the characters deeply. When you reach the end, you'll want more people to know Dan's story. He and his partner truly are remarkable people. I'm glad I got to know them.
August 19, 2019
If this didn't leave me with a profound sense of sadness, I would have more of a heart to write a review. It will come once I emotionally recover myself. It truly deserves every star I gave it and I hope Brian (John) and Chris ("Sam's" son) are happy today, ten-odd years after the passing of Sam (Dan, the author).
April 23, 2017
TBH, I found Sam whiny, selfish and manipulative for the second half of this book. Look, he's had so much shit come down on him that it would make a lesser man break, but he's so oblivious to everything but his own problems that I found it harder to feel sympathetic the further into the book I read. There is a line in the book that made me laugh out loud. It was about Sam counseling Drew about his issues with his friend, Matt, and he was thinking about how Drew was making everything far more complicated than it needed to be. That pretty much sums up Sam's romantic life.
This is not a happy story but if you love a bit of hurt with your fiction, it's perfect.
This is not a happy story but if you love a bit of hurt with your fiction, it's perfect.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 28, 2012
The writer of this story claims it chronicles his own love story, so from that standpoint it was a very interesting read. However, it is filled with painful real life experiences which made it difficult read at times. Watching someone be in pain for almost 38 chapters is agonizing, but real life is like that sometimes. If you can stomach it, I think it is worth reading. The writer, Dan Kincaid, who is "Sam" in the story sadly passed away from cancer before the story was completed, so it was finished based on his notes by a friend. There is also a nice afterward from Dan's partner "Brian".
December 12, 2012
Edit 15november 2011: I change my vote for 4 stars to 5 stars.
The're already a review that explain why better than me so I'm just going to put the link to it:
Autobiography.
Dan (Sam) died before finishing this story. It's a very good friend of him, Adam Phillips that finish writing it with Dan permission.
The two MC have their love story it's just end too soon.
The're already a review that explain why better than me so I'm just going to put the link to it:
Autobiography.
Dan (Sam) died before finishing this story. It's a very good friend of him, Adam Phillips that finish writing it with Dan permission.
The two MC have their love story it's just end too soon.
April 20, 2012
Will have to re-rate and review after I finish. Had to stop for awhile in order to handle the angst.
November 26, 2012
Ok, I am physically ill.....I cannot believe the ending, soooooo good but soooooo tragic
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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February 27, 2013Am not going to rate this story because it is about someones life.But what a life and what a love.Rip Sam and may Chris and Brain find support and love in eachother.
September 21, 2016
3.5:'(
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