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Just Don't Mess With Us: Family Matters
These stories are fast food, ice creams, snacks. Right after eating them, you will feel hungry again. They have no nutritious value whatsoever, but I hope you'll find them tasty.
Ever thought about how it would be if you were in love with three persons at once? And all three were in love with you? And with each other? And you lived together? And you all were guys? Wouldn't it just be like a family? That is what Alan thinks...
Alan is a bit rude and he sees and has so much sex, that he talks constantly about it, almost without realizing it. If male on male sex, graphic scenes or coarse language offend you, this is probably not for you.
Every chapter is a little story by itself, but in the same setting. Yet it is best to read them in sequence, as each story tells you something more about one or more of the characters.
You can read a sample chapter online here.
Ever thought about how it would be if you were in love with three persons at once? And all three were in love with you? And with each other? And you lived together? And you all were guys? Wouldn't it just be like a family? That is what Alan thinks...
Alan is a bit rude and he sees and has so much sex, that he talks constantly about it, almost without realizing it. If male on male sex, graphic scenes or coarse language offend you, this is probably not for you.
Every chapter is a little story by itself, but in the same setting. Yet it is best to read them in sequence, as each story tells you something more about one or more of the characters.
You can read a sample chapter online here.
101 pages, ebook
First published May 1, 2011
3 people are currently reading
86 people want to read
About the author
Andrew Ashling
18Ìýbooks174ÌýfollowersI write mainly gay, m/m, slash, yaoi stories. I suppose, with a few exceptions, I should call them novels really.
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You can read the first twelve chapters of the Dark Tales of Randamor the Recluse series on my website,.
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If you'd like me to send you an email when I release a new book, you can subscribe to my
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I have no great literary ambitions. I just tell stories, and I try to do it as good as I can, hoping other people will enjoy reading them.
Most of them have explicit scenes in them, often of a rather kinky nature. But they're only the raisins in the pudding, because � as I already said � I actually enjoy telling stories. That means there always is a plot, or, more often, several plots.
I love exploring what makes people tick, what makes them do the often quirky things they do. Also, I enjoy playing with expectations, boundaries, taboos even.
I don't think I'm going to send out friend requests myself. I write stuff and people get the impression that you only want to befriend them to get them to read your work and write reviews.
That's not to say I don't want friends (or reviews, for that matter). If you want to befriend me, just send me an invitation. I will almost certainly accept.
If you have questions, or remarks, or you need to contact me for another reason, you're very welcome to do so through this .
Andrew
----------
You can read the first twelve chapters of the Dark Tales of Randamor the Recluse series on my website,.
----------
If you'd like me to send you an email when I release a new book, you can subscribe to my
----------
I have no great literary ambitions. I just tell stories, and I try to do it as good as I can, hoping other people will enjoy reading them.
Most of them have explicit scenes in them, often of a rather kinky nature. But they're only the raisins in the pudding, because � as I already said � I actually enjoy telling stories. That means there always is a plot, or, more often, several plots.
I love exploring what makes people tick, what makes them do the often quirky things they do. Also, I enjoy playing with expectations, boundaries, taboos even.
I don't think I'm going to send out friend requests myself. I write stuff and people get the impression that you only want to befriend them to get them to read your work and write reviews.
That's not to say I don't want friends (or reviews, for that matter). If you want to befriend me, just send me an invitation. I will almost certainly accept.
If you have questions, or remarks, or you need to contact me for another reason, you're very welcome to do so through this .
Andrew
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
June 26, 2012
I loved this. It's twisted and wrong and completely implausible... and entertaining the entire time. Not recommended for anyone lacking in a sense of humor or suffering from an inability to suspend reality - and maybe morality - for the sake of their own amusement. Or at least long enough to appreciate the funny and remarkably well-written stories in this book.
It didn't occur to me to take offense at any time during my reading... Not sure what that says about me - or Andrew - but whatev. It's not like my - or your - opinion matters, anyway.
It didn't occur to me to take offense at any time during my reading... Not sure what that says about me - or Andrew - but whatev. It's not like my - or your - opinion matters, anyway.
January 1, 2012
Just Don't Mess With Us: Family Matters
I took a break from Andrew Ashling's series "The Invisible Chains" to read "Just Don't Mess With Us: Family Matters". Clearly Andrew had also taken a break from writing about Squires, Warlords and, well, maybe not family issues. In this story, I again love the voice he uses in writing and am impressed that, in a relatively simple tale, he can make he laugh, blush, take offense, and rethink my values. His stories don't necessarily change my values, but they do make my stretch some of the boxes in which they are housed.
Most people who admit to any kind of imagination have at least thought about living in a three way sort of relationship. You may have thought that it would be ecstasy or maybe pure hell. I'll admit to thinking about it in both ways at different times. Andrew of course takes this idea, as well as a number of others, a step or two farther than at least I have contemplated.
The stories here were quick reads, hilariously funny, over the top, full of taboos, sexy, and really well thought out. I thoroughly enjoyed the book and flew through it. Read it if you like men, sex, and some fun kink. On the other hand, Andrew might not be the best author to read if you are easily offended or are not interested in being made to think about "family values", unless you like to take offense, which some people do...
Thank you for another wonderful read Andrew Ashling!
I took a break from Andrew Ashling's series "The Invisible Chains" to read "Just Don't Mess With Us: Family Matters". Clearly Andrew had also taken a break from writing about Squires, Warlords and, well, maybe not family issues. In this story, I again love the voice he uses in writing and am impressed that, in a relatively simple tale, he can make he laugh, blush, take offense, and rethink my values. His stories don't necessarily change my values, but they do make my stretch some of the boxes in which they are housed.
Most people who admit to any kind of imagination have at least thought about living in a three way sort of relationship. You may have thought that it would be ecstasy or maybe pure hell. I'll admit to thinking about it in both ways at different times. Andrew of course takes this idea, as well as a number of others, a step or two farther than at least I have contemplated.
The stories here were quick reads, hilariously funny, over the top, full of taboos, sexy, and really well thought out. I thoroughly enjoyed the book and flew through it. Read it if you like men, sex, and some fun kink. On the other hand, Andrew might not be the best author to read if you are easily offended or are not interested in being made to think about "family values", unless you like to take offense, which some people do...
Thank you for another wonderful read Andrew Ashling!
August 28, 2011
I laughed a lot. But warning, at times it's not very politically correct. But any book that's got this in it is worth reading:
But one star off for the typos and the non-con humiliation. Mind you I don't think you're meant to take them seriously....
When I finally came in him, we were both relaxed. Under the shower he sighed: “You're better than Risperdal or Zoloft, you know.� “And you, my heart, can get me without a doctor's prescription,� I replied, just a tad self-satisfied, “though I must warn you that I've been told that I am quite addictive.�And I liked this bit too about the youngest of the four, a twink who doesn't know the meaning of gentle when it comes to fucking:
“Beat that ass, Alan, for real this time,� he said. “I deserve it. You can do it, I know you can do it. Just imagine that this ass is the root of all evil.�
As far as I and my still smarting hole were concerned, the root of all evil was on the other side of his anatomy.
“Just imagine that this ass instigated all problems in the world, Alan, and whip it. Whip it good. This ass is the primal (sic) reason for world famine. This ass is part of the axis of evil. This ass is the cause of global warming.�
But one star off for the typos and the non-con humiliation. Mind you I don't think you're meant to take them seriously....
May 27, 2012
Wow, I loved this book. I think Andrew Ashling is one seriously solid, talented writer. was thought provoking and it's stuck with me. This is a compete turnaround, funny, sly and cheeky at it's best. Revenge was never so fun, over the top and satisfying. I look forward to what's next from this writer.
October 21, 2020
I found no humor in reading about 4 guys giving their enemy a roofie, raping him and then using the photographs they took to humiliate him. I get protecting your family and having a little revenge but this was so over the top and such a huge escalation and it just made me sick. If I could give this no stars I would!
April 6, 2013
Okay, first of all, let me say up front that this book is DEFINITELY not going to be everyone's cup of tea. It is graphic, it will be offensive to many, and it borders on the obscene.
Those are the reasons I loved it. A book that takes extreme chances, an author that doesn't care if he pisses you off or makes you feel like you might be struck by lightning by the time you have finished reading is an author that I find refreshing.
This book is one of the funniest books I have read in years. No matter how extreme or graphic you may find this book, the humor there is biting and fresh. There is much there that is ridiculously funny IF you are the type that can read between the lines and get it. Perhaps you need to be a bit warped, I don't know. If so, I am, and I found humor on almost every page.
That's not to say that at times I didn't feel sorry for the victims of the guys plots...but what the hell. They so had it coming.
Both the characters and the stories are twisted, extreme, and not to be taken seriously.The question is, do you have an open enough mind for it? This book will offend as many as it will make laugh. Great job, Ashling! I took this to lunch and found myself being stared at as I was laughing so loudly at times.
I came back to add more. I knew there was an author this book faintly reminded me of. It reminds me a little of David Sedaris (and, boy, do people either love or hate HIM). However, Ashling is much more raunchy and in your face with the sexuality of his characters. Think Sedaris on speed and viagra. Yeah. Scary good.
Note: I am an author and I know Ashling through an author board. If you can't separate that from my ability to review books I read, please move on and don't consider my review. :) (I have been a reader a whole lot longer than an author, though, and reserve my right to review books that I love.) Thank you.
Those are the reasons I loved it. A book that takes extreme chances, an author that doesn't care if he pisses you off or makes you feel like you might be struck by lightning by the time you have finished reading is an author that I find refreshing.
This book is one of the funniest books I have read in years. No matter how extreme or graphic you may find this book, the humor there is biting and fresh. There is much there that is ridiculously funny IF you are the type that can read between the lines and get it. Perhaps you need to be a bit warped, I don't know. If so, I am, and I found humor on almost every page.
That's not to say that at times I didn't feel sorry for the victims of the guys plots...but what the hell. They so had it coming.
Both the characters and the stories are twisted, extreme, and not to be taken seriously.The question is, do you have an open enough mind for it? This book will offend as many as it will make laugh. Great job, Ashling! I took this to lunch and found myself being stared at as I was laughing so loudly at times.
I came back to add more. I knew there was an author this book faintly reminded me of. It reminds me a little of David Sedaris (and, boy, do people either love or hate HIM). However, Ashling is much more raunchy and in your face with the sexuality of his characters. Think Sedaris on speed and viagra. Yeah. Scary good.
Note: I am an author and I know Ashling through an author board. If you can't separate that from my ability to review books I read, please move on and don't consider my review. :) (I have been a reader a whole lot longer than an author, though, and reserve my right to review books that I love.) Thank you.
December 26, 2011
After reading other reviews, I decided to buy this book, expecting a quick, fun read. I decided not to finish it after reading through to the second "slice" of the book because I kept growing more and more uncomfortable with the matieral. While, I know I should take it for what it is, a short look into the lives of a polyamorous relationship, some plot points just set my teeth on edge.
I really, really wanted to enjoy this because I've heard great things about the author. I do plan to read his full-length novel A Dish Served Cold, and am crossing my fingers that I'll be able to enjoy it more.
I really, really wanted to enjoy this because I've heard great things about the author. I do plan to read his full-length novel A Dish Served Cold, and am crossing my fingers that I'll be able to enjoy it more.
February 4, 2011
What a fantastic fun!
I wasn't sure what to expect when I started reading this, but I am so glad that I did. The witty and sarcastic humor is very lighthearted but brilliantly poses two questions - what is 'normal'? and can you trully be in love with more than one person?
I really do hope there will be more than just 5 short stories :)
I wasn't sure what to expect when I started reading this, but I am so glad that I did. The witty and sarcastic humor is very lighthearted but brilliantly poses two questions - what is 'normal'? and can you trully be in love with more than one person?
I really do hope there will be more than just 5 short stories :)
July 25, 2011
This is more like a collection of short stories about the same bunch of people. And it's funny!!! I think I love Matt's granny the best.
But the sex is HOT. Seriously hot! This was very entertaining!
But the sex is HOT. Seriously hot! This was very entertaining!
June 14, 2012
This is a hard one to rate. Every story is a combination of being horrid, twisted, sexy and yet kind of sweet in an odd way. It's also very funny. I would definitely like to read a few more of their stories.
July 1, 2014
The premise of a tightly knit group getting even with anyone who crossed them is interesting to me but every chapter was a like the same short story with a few facts and characters changed. I really liked it hence the four stars but just before the end I had had enough.
Read
February 24, 2022Fun and interesting stories though I had some trouble with the language used and the characters of the boys.
July 31, 2011
Like Td said:)
August 2, 2012
Funniest book I've read in a very long time. :-D
April 19, 2011
Very funny
December 28, 2020
Slow start but I thoroughly enjoyed it when it got going.It was brilliant I then couldn't put it down.
Read
April 4, 2012This is a funny romp but do not search a realistic story in here; unless you don’t compare it to some frat house type of story where the boys involved always try to prove that, under 21 years old you are really not an adult. Don't get mistaken by the cover, there is very little of innocence or naivete in this book.
Actually one of the four boys, Matt, is 22 years old, and then there is Jason, 19, Jamie, 17 and Alan, the narrative voice, 19. Alan doesn’t say much about how they are together, I did my own version, probably Matt found all three of them in different moment and they ended living together in Matt’s house. Since there is no parents in the picture, and apparently no one of them is working, actually Jamie is still going to high school, my idea is that Matt is a trust fund boy and he is maintaining all of them. If you are wondering how Jamie, that is underage, is allowed to live with them, add to the picture that Jason is a tech wizard and not they are “officially� brothers, even if nothing brotherly is happening between them. Matt, Alan, Jason and Jamie are in a foursome, and apparently it’s working really well, and that is the main incipit of each chapter, that is a single story of its own: Alan wants to prove to the reader how good they are together and how they can overcome all issues.
I have to say that some of the tricks they organize against people who did them wrong are really wicked, to a level that I almost felt pity for the object of their vengeance. Truth, it’s a backslash, they attack only when attacked, but nevertheless they are merciless. That is where the not-realistic side of the story comes into view, it feels a little impossible for them to not being questioned, but I don’t think realism was what the author was searching, this is a funny romp, and as such, it accomplishes its task.
Building the story in this way, each chapter a story of its own, allow the author to have an endlessly source of inspiration; Matt, Alan, Jason and Jamie’s story is not a circle that is closed with the last chapter, but it’s more like a series of vignettes, and if the author likes them, as I think, they are always there ready for more “devil� adventures.
Actually one of the four boys, Matt, is 22 years old, and then there is Jason, 19, Jamie, 17 and Alan, the narrative voice, 19. Alan doesn’t say much about how they are together, I did my own version, probably Matt found all three of them in different moment and they ended living together in Matt’s house. Since there is no parents in the picture, and apparently no one of them is working, actually Jamie is still going to high school, my idea is that Matt is a trust fund boy and he is maintaining all of them. If you are wondering how Jamie, that is underage, is allowed to live with them, add to the picture that Jason is a tech wizard and not they are “officially� brothers, even if nothing brotherly is happening between them. Matt, Alan, Jason and Jamie are in a foursome, and apparently it’s working really well, and that is the main incipit of each chapter, that is a single story of its own: Alan wants to prove to the reader how good they are together and how they can overcome all issues.
I have to say that some of the tricks they organize against people who did them wrong are really wicked, to a level that I almost felt pity for the object of their vengeance. Truth, it’s a backslash, they attack only when attacked, but nevertheless they are merciless. That is where the not-realistic side of the story comes into view, it feels a little impossible for them to not being questioned, but I don’t think realism was what the author was searching, this is a funny romp, and as such, it accomplishes its task.
Building the story in this way, each chapter a story of its own, allow the author to have an endlessly source of inspiration; Matt, Alan, Jason and Jamie’s story is not a circle that is closed with the last chapter, but it’s more like a series of vignettes, and if the author likes them, as I think, they are always there ready for more “devil� adventures.
July 2, 2011
Enjoyable, quick read. Very "slice-of-life" focused, with each of the 5 short stories telling another antic-filled tale in the lives of this unconventional family.
On the downside, I never really felt like I got to know the boys very well. I mean, I know that you don't want to mess with them (because they will get you good), and I know they love each other...but I don't really know them as individuals. Another complaint would be editing - this story could definitely use some. (I noticed a number of typos/misspellings/grammar errors, including my personal pet peeve: they're/their swaps. Also some awkward/unrealistic phrasing.)
On the downside, I never really felt like I got to know the boys very well. I mean, I know that you don't want to mess with them (because they will get you good), and I know they love each other...but I don't really know them as individuals. Another complaint would be editing - this story could definitely use some. (I noticed a number of typos/misspellings/grammar errors, including my personal pet peeve: they're/their swaps. Also some awkward/unrealistic phrasing.)
February 22, 2012
I'm not quite sure how to rate this. There were things I.liked, but they kept being overshadowed by the things I didn't like or was uncomfortable with.
When it started, I thought it was cute. I liked the way it was written, and the characters were interesting. I tried to remember these guys were young (17-23 I think) to keep their behavior somewhat in perspective.
There were quite a few times I was chuckling out loud. However, the stories of revenge proved to be beyond my comfort zone (very few scenarios fall into this category for me).
When it started, I thought it was cute. I liked the way it was written, and the characters were interesting. I tried to remember these guys were young (17-23 I think) to keep their behavior somewhat in perspective.
There were quite a few times I was chuckling out loud. However, the stories of revenge proved to be beyond my comfort zone (very few scenarios fall into this category for me).
February 6, 2013
What I liked: the humorous tone throughout most of the story and the hot kinky sex in this easy, quick read.
What I didn't like: I was a bit uncomfortable with the age (17 years) of the youngest MC (yes, you can call me old-fashioned which is funny considering what I read) and very uncomfortable with the revenge scene. To me that "scene" was rape plain and simple, not to mention criminal.
What I didn't like: I was a bit uncomfortable with the age (17 years) of the youngest MC (yes, you can call me old-fashioned which is funny considering what I read) and very uncomfortable with the revenge scene. To me that "scene" was rape plain and simple, not to mention criminal.
February 4, 2017
Ok first off if you not into boy on boy don't read this book. This book is definitely lime ice cream you just keep wanting more. I got into it from the 101 short stories book and loved it there. Love it now but my initial look into it had far less sex involved. The only reason it didn't get 5 stars is i wanted more story at time.
March 14, 2012
Short, sweet, explicit and kinky. Perfect for a light afternoon of reading hardcore boy-love.
October 11, 2012
Very interesting.
January 2, 2014
Originally read in 2012
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