My Transvestite Addictions: The Story of One Individual's Odyssey Through Crossdressing, Alcohol, Escorts, Strippers, Sex, and Money in transcommunities

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My Transvestite Addictions: The Story of One Individual's Odyssey Through Crossdressing, Alcohol,...

Jack A. Shelia

Why we're reading this: This book is about my 40 years of gender identity struggles, including my wild public crossdressing exper…more
[close] This book is about my 40 years of gender identity struggles, including my wild public crossdressing experiences and my battles with alcohol and sexual addictions. I鈥檝e received a number of favorable reviews on it, and I think members of this group might find it interesting.

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May 16, 2013 S.B. (Beauty in Ruins) rated it really liked it

Shelves: biography, cross-dressing

Subtitled as it is, 鈥淭he Story of One Individual鈥檚 Odyssey through Crossdressing, Alcohol, Escorts, Strippers, Sex, and Money,鈥� My Transvestite Addictions really doesn鈥檛 leave much to the imagination. It鈥檚 an extraordinarily candid look at the life experiences of Jack/Jacquelina, alternately amusing and horrifying, cautionary and inspiring.

The story begins with the harsh contrast between a 10 year old lying in the comfort of his own bed, full of innocent prayers for God to turn him into a girl o Subtitled as it is, 鈥淭he Story of One Individual鈥檚 Odyssey through Crossdressing, Alcohol, Escorts, Strippers, Sex, and Money,鈥� My Transvestite Addictions really doesn鈥檛 leave much to the imagination. It鈥檚 an extraordinarily candid look at the life experiences of Jack/Jacquelina, alternately amusing and horrifying, cautionary and inspiring.

The story begins with the harsh contrast between a 10 year old lying in the comfort of his own bed, full of innocent prayers for God to turn him into a girl overnight, and 47 year old laying on the cold floor of a jail cell, tortured by questions about what left him broken and bleeding . . . and where he goes from there. It鈥檚 a shocking contrast, and one that serves to set our expectations for what鈥檚 to follow.

Make no mistake, both Jack & Jacquelina are responsible for actions that many readers may find distasteful, but you can鈥檛 help but understand 鈥� and even appreciate 鈥� the thoughts, feelings, and desires behind those acts. We may shy away from stories of anonymous, public sex; heavy drinking; acts of violence, and dangerous, expensive indulgences with transsexual escorts; but we can鈥檛 help but confront the doubts, feelings, and insecurities behind them. Clearly, we don鈥檛 all deal with our issues in the same way, but there鈥檚 a commonality to our issues that鈥檚 important.

Something that may jump out at a lot of readers is the terminology and phrases that are used throughout the book. Jack makes no attempt to be politically correct, to pick and choose his words, or to tailor his comments not to offend. He uses terms that he himself admits may be controversial, but which are honest reflections of the world in which Jack & Jacquelina have battled for so long. As uncomfortable as they may make some reads, it鈥檚 important to note that he never uses terms like 鈥榮hemale鈥� maliciously, and never refers to anyone as a 鈥榯ranny鈥� out of spite. Instead, he adheres to the lexicon that shaped his development, the words that defined him and those around him at the time, regardless of how they may be viewed today.

Over the course of the story, we see Jack & Jacquelina battle for supremacy, with both controlling aspects of his life, but neither representing the whole of who he is. Eventually, he comes to a conclusion that I suspect many readers may share . . . and others might wish they could:

鈥淚 am both Jack and Jacquelina. I do not have to choose between the two. When I feel like Jack, I鈥檒l dress as Jack. When I feel like Jacquelina, I鈥檒l dress as Jacquelina. I鈥檓 both male and female, depending on my mood.鈥�

In Jack鈥檚 case, his crossdressing started out rather innocently 鈥� despite those childhood dreams of femininity 鈥� as a bold, daring, exhibitionistic form of self-expression. It only evolved into an addiction, and became paired with his other addictions, because of his personality.

Throughout his life 鈥� and the course of the story 鈥� Jack 鈥榖lames鈥� a lot of things for his problems. Genetics, hormones, and chemicals in the brain are all suspect. Similarly, the inability of those around us to acknowledge, understand, and accept anything that varies from the norm is presented as an easy target for blame. Ultimately, however, this is a story of personal responsibility, one that acknowledges blame and excuses are 鈥渁 bit of a cop-out.鈥�

While those of us who fall anywhere outside the rigidly defined binary of male/female can be said to have something important in common, some bond that connects us, a key theme of Jack鈥檚 story is that, deep down, we are all different. We are human, we are complex, and we are individuals. We cannot be easily defined or explain away, and we need to allow ourselves the freedom to explore, and to discover just who and what we are. For most of us, those explorations aren鈥檛 likely to lead us to the extremes that he experienced as Jacquelina, but if they should, we can take some solace in the fact that we are not alone.

Jack鈥檚 is a difficult story, full of as many highs and lows, and one that may be seen to have an rather open-ended, happy-for-now ending. Like so many of the great stories of addictions, this is a story of a long, winding road-trip through the emotional and sexual psyche. There鈥檚 no promise of eternal bliss, no easy answers provided to the question of gender, and no definitive declaration of what makes a transvestite versus transsexual. Instead, it鈥檚 simply the story of a journey 鈥� one that is not yet complete 鈥� and the lessons learned along the way.

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May 13, 2013 Jack/Jacquelina A. Shelia rated it it was amazing

Mar 23, 2020 Samantha Andrews marked it as to-read

Mar 26, 2020 Yumi Cox marked it as to-read

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