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I’m at the point where the things on your to-do list get transferred to a should-have-done list, and one reason I write a column is for the privilege of vicariously sampling other worlds, dropping in with my passport, my notebook and my curiosity.
Since he brought up God, I ask what that means to him. Maybe I can turn it around and suggest that God wouldn’t want him to waste all his talent. ‘My god doesn’t have a name,� he says. ‘Beethoven could be my god.�
‘Boy,� he said, ‘doesn’t that sound beautiful?� Nathaniel glared back at Russo and the party sounds gave way to silence. ‘What do you mean by saying ‘boy�?� he demanded. Russo was dumbstruck at first, then frightened by the change that had come over his friend. It was as if another person had crawled into his skin. Russo had seen sudden mood changes in Nathaniel, but nothing quite like this. He stammered a clarification, saying he hadn’t called him a boy. Didn’t Nathaniel understand that? ‘Are you a racist?� Nathaniel insisted, stopping the party dead. It was a moment so awkward and thick, no
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He gets up and stands before me, a different man than the one who threatened my life. His shoulders are rounded now, his body in a remorseful slump. ‘I can’t believe I said those things,� he tells me. ‘It’s not a problem. We’re friends and sometimes friends piss each other off, and that’s just part of the deal. I didn’t take any of it personally.�
It isn’t clear if Ma remembers him from Juilliard, even though Mr. Ayers now cites several specific performances that have stuck with him over the years. Ma listens intently, then puts his arm around Mr. Ayers. ‘I want to tell you what it means to meet you,� he says, looking Mr. Ayers directly in the eye. ‘To meet somebody who really, really loves music. We’re brothers.� Mr. Ayers doesn’t know what to say. Ma tells him he’ll be right back and returns seconds later with his cello. Take it, he tells Mr. Ayers. Go ahead and play. Mr. Ayers reluctantly reaches for the instrument and holds it
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