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“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright

“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”
― Albert Einstein

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.”
― Rudyard Kipling

“My roommate is a 240-pound homicidal hermit. For dinner he’s fixing me a dead fox he scraped off the highway near Ponchatoula, and after that we’re taking a leaky tin boat out on a windy lake to spy on some semi-retarded fishermen. Don’t you wish you were here?”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“The deceased was a well-known scumbucket and they don’t usually have the decency to kill themselves. Usually someone else does the honor.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Native Tongue

“It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.”
― Maurice Switzer, Mrs. Goose, Her Book

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.”
― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

“Life has no remote....get up and change it yourself!”
― Mark A. Cooper, Operation Einstein

“How can I make a difference in restoring what’s been lost? How can I help make sure our veterans are never treated that way again?”
― Gary Sinise, Grateful American: A Journey from Self to Service

“It’s a fucked-up war when you are more worried about fighting your chain of command than the actual enemy.”
― Eric Blehm, The Only Thing Worth Dying For: How Eleven Green Berets Forged a New Afghanistan

“When people ask me whether I am a spy –‘are you now, or have you ever been?â€� –I am tempted to reply with a hearty –‘Yes, and since the age of five.â€� For a state of watchfulness must surely be the first requisite of a writer, as it is of a secret agent. A writer, like a spy, must prey upon his neighbours; like a spy he is dependent on those whom he deceives; like a spy he must somehow contrive to keep a distance from his own feelings and by doing so conjure up a package that will meet with the approval of his masters. Like a spy, he is not merely an outsider, but implicitly a subversive..”
― John le Carré

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
― Ernest Hemingway

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

“I must say one thing about southern down-home brewed coffee with chicory. If you have worms, you'll never have them again.”
― Clive Cussler, The Sea Hunters

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”
― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read with My Eyes Shut!

“Giordino...simply sighed in resignation. "Who else," he asked no one in particular, "but Dirk Pitt could tramp off into a blizzard on an uninhabited backwater island in the Antarctic and discover a beautiful girl?”
― Clive Cussler, Shock Wave

“Why can't people just sit and read books and be nice to each other?”
― David Baldacci, The Camel Club

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
― Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches

“Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”
― Ernest Hemingway, The Garden of Eden

“A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have.”
― Gerald R. Ford