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“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.”
― Iyanla Vanzant

“You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Yesterday, I Cried

“The only way to get what you really want is to let go of what you don't want.”
― Iyanla Vanzant

“When you need to be loved, you take love wherever you can find it. When you are desperate to be loved, feel love, know love, you seek out what you think love should look like. When you find love, or what you think love is, you will lie, kill, and steal to keep it. But learning about real love comes from within. It cannot be given. It cannot be taken away. It grows from your ability to re-create within yourself, the essence of loving experiences you have had in your life.”
― Iyanla Vanzant

“ choice is a divine teacher, for when we choose we learn that nothing is ever put in our path without a reason.”
― Iyanla Vanzant

“Remain open. There is something bigger than you know going on here.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, One Day My Soul Just Opened Up: 40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth

“You have set standards for how you want to be treated and what you expect from yourself and for yourself.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want

“One way to eliminate self negating thoughts and behavior is by gaining more understanding through realizing that you cannot force others to see that what you feel is real.”
― Iyanla Vanzant

“If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.”
― Vanzant

“When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else.”
― Iyanla Vanzant

“The road of life is strewn with the bodies of promising people. People who show promise, yet lack the confidence to act. People who make promises they are unable to keep. People who promise to do tomorrow what they could do today. Promising young stars, athletes, entrepreneurs who wait for promises to come true. Promise without a goal and a plan is like a barren cow. You know what she could do if she could do it, but she can't. Turn your promise into a plan. Make no promise for tomorrow if you are able to keep it today. And if someone calls you promising, know that you are not doing enough today.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Acts of Faith: Daily Meditations for People of Color

“When you can look a thing dead in the eye, acknowledge that it exists, call it exactly what it is, and decide what role it will take in your life then, my Beloved, you have taken the first step toward your freedom.”
― Iyanla Vanzant

“Before you find out who you are, you have to figure out who you aren't..”
― Iyanla Vanzant

“The voice I had accepted as Divine Guidance was actually the voice of my ego leading me right into destruction.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Peace from Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You're Going Through

“Everyone has a purpose because God is a purposeful God.”
― Iyanla Vanzant

“In the process of planning and having a wedding, I forgot there would actually be a marriage, a union of minds, bodies, souls, and issues that would come together as soon as the ceremony was over.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Peace from Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You're Going Through

“So many of us invest a fortune making ourselves look good to the world, yet inside we are falling apart. It's time to invest on the inside.”
― Iyanla Vanzant

“Education does not take place when you learn something you did not know before. Education is your ability to use what you have learned to be better today than you were yesterday.”
― Iyanla Vanzant

“Act the way you want to be and soon you will be the way you act.”
― Ivanla

“Release and detach from every person, every circumstance, every condition, and every situation that no longer serves a divine purpose in your life. All things have a season, and all seasons must come to an end. Choose a new season, filled with purposeful thoughts and activities.”
― Iyanla Vanzant

“Fear wears so many clever disguises it is virtually impossible to always recognize it. Fear disguises itself as the need to be somewhere else, doing something else, not knowing how to do something or not needing to do something.”
― Iyanla Vanzant

“What is it that would make a creature as fierce, majestic and powerful as a lion is, subject itself to the intimidation of a man a whip and a chair? The lion has been taught to forget what it is.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Peace from Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You're Going Through

“Their issues are not your issues.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, The Value in the Valley: A Black Woman's Guide Through Life's Dilemmas

“Lives fall apart when they need to be rebuilt.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Peace from Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You're Going Through

“Sooner or later, we must all accept the fact that in a relationship, the only person you are dealing with is yourself. Your partner does nothing more than reveal your stuff to you. Your fear! Your anger! Your pattern! Your craziness! As long as you insist on pointing the finger out there, at them, you will continue to miss out on the divine opportunity to clear your stuff. Here is a meantime tip—we love in others what we love in ourselves. We despise in others what we cannot see in ourselves.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want

“Life would be so much easier if, when we hit a snag in a relationship, any relationship, we would stop, address it, and move ahead smoothly. The truth is, in most cases, we could do just that. The reality is, we don’t do it! We keep moving. We allow little insults to become raging angers, little arguments to become festering feuds, little pains to become deep wounds, and we keep moving. In many cases, we keep hurting. When the relationship at issue is an intimate, loving one, the attempt to move forward without addressing the pain only complicates matters, further poisoning the relationship.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want

“I now realize that lives fall apart when they need to be rebuilt. Lives fall apart when the foundation upon which they were built needs to be relaid. Lives fall apart, not because God is punishing us for what we have or have not done. Lives fall apart because they need to. They need to because they weren’t built the right way in the first place.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Peace from Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You're Going Through

“You don't get to tell people how to love you; you get to choose if you want to participate in the way they love.”
― Iyanla Vanzant

“God is love. Love is always present, surrounding us; guiding, growing, and teaching us. Even in the midst of total chaos, pain, and dysfunction, love is calling us to a higher experience and expression.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything

“FORGIVENESS ADDRESSES HOW WE THINK AND FEEL ABOUT OTHERS AND OURSELVES AND HOW THOSE THOUGHTS MANIFEST WITHIN OUR LIVES AS ENERGY.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything