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#1

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe

147616 likes

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#2

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing

32120 likes

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#3

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
― Woody Allen

tags: death, fear, humor, life

25634 likes

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#4

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: books, humor, reading, television

23112 likes

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#5

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

tags: humor, scifi

23415 likes

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#6

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
― Charles Bukowski

tags: humor

22461 likes

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#7

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life

21128 likes

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#8

“I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
― Charles M. Schulz

tags: humor, mankind, people

18538 likes

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#9

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

18705 likes

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#10

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

tags: humor, love, romantic, women

17982 likes

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#11

“It鈥檚 no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
― Lewis Carroll

tags: alice, humor, inspirational, philosophy-of-life, psychological, yesterday

17377 likes

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#12

“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add

tags: humor, misattributed-to-bill-gates, nerd, nerds, work

15570 likes

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#13

“Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
― C.E.M. Joad

tags: creativity, humor, misattributed-to-einstein, paraphrased

13066 likes

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#14

“I don't want to be a man," said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."
"Well," said Luke, "you're doing a fantastic job.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: clary-fray, demons, growing-up, humor, jace-wayland, luke, teenager

12387 likes

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#15

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

tags: god, humor, life

11617 likes

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#16

“Do your thing and don't care if they like it.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

4146 likes

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#17

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”
― Scott Adams

tags: food, humor, love

3917 likes

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#18

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”
― Mo Willems, Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs

tags: fairy-tales, humor, humorous, philosophy, psychology

4129 likes

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#19

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
― George Carlin

tags: humor

3895 likes

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#20

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
― George Burns

tags: family, happiness, humor

5596 likes

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#21

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

tags: humor, idleness, inspirational

5338 likes

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#22

“Right now I鈥檓 having amnesia and d茅j脿 vu at the same time. I think I鈥檝e forgotten this before.”
― Steven Wright

tags: amnesia, humor, memory

4699 likes

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#23

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, men, women

4683 likes

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#24

“Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

tags: confidence, humor, ignorance, knowledge

3374 likes

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#25

“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
― George Carlin

tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, misattributed-george-carlin, stupidity

3513 likes

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#26

“It's not gray," Clary felt compelled to point out. "It's green."
"If there was such a thing as terminal literalism, you'd have died in childhood," said Jace.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: clary, gray-book, humor, jace

3102 likes

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#27

“You're an idiot."
"I've never claimed to be otherwise.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: humor, idiocy

3090 likes

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#28

“I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: humor, taste

3174 likes

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#29

“Jace shook his blond head in exasperation.
"You had to make a crazy jail friend, didn't you? You couldn't just count ceiling tiles or tame a pet mouse like normal prisoners do?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

tags: humor, jace

2860 likes

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#30

“Black holes are where God divided by zero.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: humor

2959 likes

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Tags From Sanjali鈥檚 Quotes

attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
deadlines
humour
work
writing
death
fear
life
books
reading
television
scifi
calvin-and-hobbes
mankind
people
love
romantic
women
alice
inspirational
philosophy-of-life
psychological
yesterday
misattributed-to-bill-gates
nerd
nerds
creativity
misattributed-to-einstein
paraphrased
clary-fray
demons
growing-up
jace-wayland
luke
teenager
god
food
fairy-tales
humorous
psychology
family
happiness
idleness
amnesia
memory
men
confidence
ignorance
knowledge
misattributed-george-carlin
clary
gray-book
jace
idiocy
taste